VOICES AGAINST VIOLENCE
The Voice
March 2010
Spring 2010
Semi-Annual Newsletter
Client Voices
To Whom It May Concern:
By the Numbers
1 in 4. The number
of NH women who
have been sexually
assaulted.
14. The age at
which a female is
at greatest risk for
being a victim of
rape or sexual assault.
4.8. The number of
child deaths per
day in the U.S. due
to child abuse and
neglect
87.7. The percentage of sexual assault victims who
knew the offender
I was fortunate enough to take
the Pattern Changing class this
past fall with Voices Against
Violence in Plymouth, NH. I am
writing this letter to share my
experience.
I found the material in Pattern
Changing to be helpful in
everyday life. After coming out
of yet another failed and
emotionally abusive relationship I was feeling depressed
a n d d e f ea t ed . P a t t e r n
Changing helped me to
understand why I so readily
accepted abusive people into
my life and gave me the tools
that I need to make different
decisions regarding my
relationships.
This class let me meet women
that were going though similar
experiences; this made me
realize I didn’t have to feel so
ashamed and that I wasn’t
alone. It also gave me a venue
to voice my experiences and
my concerns about repeating
my patterns.
crossroads in my life and with
the information I was given I
have more tools to make better
decisions in my relationships
and my life.
Sincerely,
Voices Against Violence Client
& Pattern Changing Participant
I am glad that I was able to
take this class. It has helped in
making me aware of the
choices that I do have in a
relationship and given me the
confidence to put myself first.
Thank you Susan and the rest
of the women that I have come
into contact with during this
class, I believe I was at a
Get Involved! Wear Jeans to Work in Support of Denim Day
Inside this issue:
Dear Community Partner,
Client Voices
1
Denim Day
1
Teen DV Contest
Submission
2
Thank you Donors
2-3
Clothesline Project
3
April Calendar
3
We are asking employers in our
community to help us recognize
April
as
Sexual
Assault
Awareness Month. As part of
that effort we are asking
people to break the dress code
and the silence on Friday, April
16th and wear denim to work.
Denim Day is sponsored by
Voices Against Violence to
enlist public support to dispel
harmful attitudes about rape.
The Denim Day campaign
began in 1999 as part of an
international protest of an
Italian Supreme Court decision
to overturn a rape conviction
because the victim was
wearing jeans. The Italian
Supreme Court dismissed
charges against a 45-year old
rape suspect because his 18-
year-old victim was wearing
jeans at the time of the attack.
The Court stated in its decision
that “It is common knowledge…
that jeans cannot even be
partly removed without the
effective help of the person
wearing them….and it is
impossible if the victim is
struggling with all her might.”
The judgment sparked a
worldwide outcry from those
who understand coercion,
threats and violence go along
with the act of rape. The
unpopular verdict became an
international symbol of mythbased injustice for sexual
assault victims.
Denim Day is an outward
example of how a community
can help change people’s
perceptions about violence
against women, men and
children. Please support us as
we continue in our fight to
prevent interpersonal violence
by
challenging
harmful
attitudes, training women and
youth in safety, teaching
violence prevention in the
schools and the community-atlarge and encouraging schools
and other agencies to join us in
these efforts.
Please contact us at 536-5999
if you are interested in
participating in Denim Day and
we will come to your offices to
leave our poster and ribbons.
We salute all of you willing to
join us in the fight for a safer
community for all people.
Sincerely,
Voices Against Violence Staff
Page 2
Voices Against Violence
Board of Directors
Eva Bleich
Susan Durgy
Robin DeRosa
Mark Fischler
Merelise O’Connor
Shandra McLane
Kelli Kemery
“You may never
know what results
come of your action,
but if you do
nothing there will
be no result”
- Gandhi
Teen Dating Violence Essay Contest Submission
Before this essay contest, I’d
never really heard of “Teen
Dating Violence”. When I
thought of violence in a relationship before, I thought of
either dysfunctional married
couples or people involved with
gangs and such. I guess I was
thinking or looking at dating
violence in a stereotypical
manner. This essay is dedicated to Domestic Violence
Awareness month, and all the
teens involved in this affair.
A story in 2003, aired on ABC
got my attention to read. A
sophomore star athlete from
Texas had stabbed his girlfriend
repeatedly after she had tried
to break up with him. He was
kind to her in the beginning, but
then began to tell her what to
do and how she should act.
(After reading that part I
thought to myself that maybe
the guy was in his first relationship and just took it too far, but
I was wrong.) Later on in the
article it said that the boy had a
girlfriend before Otralla (the
one who was stabbed). He had
acted sweet to this girl too in
the beginning, but just like with
Otralla, he began to beat her
and control her. This girl was
named Rae Anne, and she was
in her first real relationship,
and thought it was normal. Rae
Anne’s mother moved her away
from the school, even though
she still “loved” the boy.
That article I read really helped
bring out the whole teen vio-
lence idea into a full perspective. Men are the ones most
common to commit violence to
their partners, even as teenagers. Even the people who
can seem at first to be the
“sweetest” people, can have
emotional troubles and outbreaks of anger. The boy had
seemed so nice to both Rae
Anne and Otralla, but had become emotionally attached and
unstable. There has to be a
point in a relationship that you
have to look past on who they
were or what you expect from
them, and see who they really
are. Rae Anne said she still felt
that part of her was with the
boy; even after all he had done
to her.
Teenagers (myself
included), are young, and still in
a somewhat adolescent stage
in our lives. We can’t decide if
we are “in love” or who we want
to spend the rest of our lives
with. Emotions at this stage in
our lives lead to drama and in
this case, violence.
When I was reading these
stories and other facts, I realized a very great common
factor within all of them. The
parents of the teenager being
abused knew almost nothing.
The teachers and family didn’t
recognize the various marks
and bruises that were left on
the victim. The only people
who knew were usually the
friends of the victim, and of
course the victim. The ones
who knew of the violence occurring wouldn’t tell the parents or
teachers. Anyone who could
have helped the victim was left
in the dark, oblivious to what
was going on. My number one
way of helping stop the teenage
violence would be to tell an
authority figure, tell someone
who could help if you are being
abused or know a friend that is.
Rae Anne’s mother was told of
what was going on, and she
moved Rae Anne away from the
boy. The boy within the next
year stabbed his next girlfriend
to death. That murdered girl
could have been Rae Anne if
she hadn’t told. Parents and
others should be informed in
what is going on in a violent
relationship. They are the ones
that can help.
After researching the different
teen violence affairs that have
gone on I was shocked. When I
thought of domestic violence in
any way I thought of adults.
Adults always seemed to have
the thirst for more power in my
opinion. Before the research, I
never thought that someone
around my age could harm
their partner, someone they
“loved” or what not. I am very
grateful for the opportunity to
research this topic and for
everything I wrote down which I
hope can help others in the
future.
Thank you for your time,
PRHS 9th grader
Thank You to Our Recent Donors
Meredith Village Savings Bank
Jazzercise of Plymouth
Silver Center for the Arts
Six Burner Bistro
Lakeview Massage Studio
The Panther Pub
Holderness Fire Department
Plymouth Fire Department
Red Gate Farm
Turtle Ridge Foundation
Chesley's Glory Station
Thai Smile
Natural Change Massage Therapy
NHCADSV
Episcopal Church of the Holy Spirit
Innisfree Bookshop
Laconia Pet Center
Lamson Library Staff
Simply Cuts
Peppercorn Natural Foods
MegaPrint Inc.
Chesley's Mini Mart
Inspire 2 Knit & Tea
Plymouth Animal Hospital
Plymouth Pet & Aquarium
Church of The Holy Spirit
Plymouth State University
Newfound Regional High
School
Off The Hanger
St. Matthews Church
Wholly Tara
The Country Cow
Northern Lakes Veterinary Hospital
Laconia Savings Bank
Veggie Art Girl Boutique
Family Strength
Plymouth Furniture Co. Inc.
Story Land
Walter's Basin
McLane Realty
Main Street Dental, LLC
Mad River Tavern
Melcher & Prescott Insurance
Stark Electric and Alarm, LLC
Baker Valley Motors
Dunkin Donuts
Melcher & Prescott Insurance
Stark Electric and Alarm, LLC
Baker Valley Motors
Dunkin Donuts
Owl's Nest Resort & Golf Club
Plymouth United Methodist Church
Mary & Gunnar Baldwin
Bill & Betty Batchelder
Kenneth & Joan Bergstrom
John Bianchi
Stephen Birkitt
Holly Bousquet Buckley
Tenley Bouton
Page 3
Spring 2010
NH Clothesline Project
What is the Clothesline Project?
It is a visual display that uses tshirts to bear witness to domestic and sexual violence. Each
shirt is decorated to represent a
particular person’s experience
and is made by a survivor or
someone who cares about
them. The purpose of the
Clothesline Project is threefold;
to educate, document, and
raise awareness of the extent
of domestic and sexual violence
and child abuse; to help with
the healing process for people
who have lost a loved one or
are survivors of this violence;
and to provide an important
avenue for survivors to courageously break the silence. This
Spring Voices Against Violence
will be holding t-shirt making
days and collecting t-shirts for
this display.
Where are the T-Shirts displayed?
On April 20, 2010 10am-4pm
all of the 2010 t-shirts, made
throughout the State, will be
displayed in Concord on the
State House Lawn. Afterwards
all the t-shirts will be collected
and brought to Colby Sawyer
College in New London, NH.
There they will be displayed for
the entire week alongside all of
the t-shirts made since 1994.
After that week all of the t-shirts
are returned to their “home”
crisis centers. On April 29th,
all of the t-shirts made through
Voices Against Violence will be
displayed on the Plymouth
Town Common and on the Plymouth State University Green
(rain location: HUB, Fireplace
lounge).
How do I get involved?
Donate: We are looking for
donations of t-shirts (any color)
and art supplies to decorate the
shirts.
Any donation would
greatly be appreciated.
Create a T-Shirt: You do not
need to be an artist to create a
shirt. Anyone who has been
impacted by domestic violence
can make a t-shirt: victims,
survivors, family, & friends. The
shirt should reflect the experience of the person who is creating it. You may include a first
name, date, other pictures,
symbols, or words that hold
particular meaning for you. If
you are interested in creating a
t-shirt please call 536-3423.
April Calendar of Events: Sexual Assault Awareness Month
& Child Abuse Prevention Month
April 1: Sexual Assault Awareness Month Kickoff. Sexual
assault info, Mini Clothesline
Project Display, T-shirt making.
Location: PSU HUB
April 1, 6:00pm-7:30pm: How
the State of NH Defines Child
Abuse. Co-presented by the VAV
Domestic Violence Specialist
and DCYF. Learn how DCYF
investigates & determines the
need for intervention with families. Location: Whole Village
Resource Center, Plymouth
April 5, 9:30am-3:00 pm: Financial Empowerment Series.
The curriculum empowers victims by teaching the financial
skills necessary to take control
of their financial lives. For info
& to register, call 536-3423.
April 8, 6:00pm-7:30pm: Sexual Assault/Personal Safety.
This workshop will provide important tips to consider that will
help maintain a level of safety
in your every day life. Location:
Whole Village Resource Center,
Plymouth
April 8 & 9, 8pm: Vagina Monologues. Proceeds to support
Voices Against Violence. Location: PSU
April 16: Denim Day. Wear
Jeans to work to raise awareness of rape and to break the
silence.
April 17: Walk A Mile in Her
Shoes. A walk to end rape, sexual assault, and gender violence against women. Location:
PSU HUB
April 20, 10am-4pm: Clothesline Project. 2010 Statewide
Display. Location: State House
Lawn, Concord
April 21-24: Clothesline Project.
Display of all shirts 1994-2010.
Location: Colby Sawyer College,
New London.
April 29, 10am-3pm: Clothesline Project. Location: Plymouth
Town Common & PSU Green
For more information about any
of these events, please call 536
-3423.
Wish List
Gift Cards to
Hannaford and
WalMart
Gift certificate to
Staples
Deodorant
Full size shampoo &
conditioner
Razors
Nail polish
Tooth Brushes
Towels
High Chair
Baby Gate
Table lamps
Child dishes & utensils
Calling cards
Bathroom &Kitchen
“starter kits” (bathmats, shower curtain,
etc. & utensils, pots/
pans, etc.)
Toaster
Booster seat that
attaches to table
Old Cellular Phones
Clear Stackable Plastic
Storage Tubs for
clothing
Fans
Children’s books
Kitchen table & chairs
Thank You to our Recent Donors (cont)
Christopher & Heather Chabot
Lynn R. Chong
Pete Cofran
Mary & Michael Cooney
Michael F. Conklin
Deb Reynolds
Joseph DeRobertis
James & Bonnie Doherty
Janet & Jules Doner
Karen Eaton--Bruce
Georgene Fabian
Karen M. Festa
Mike & Reine Fischler
Richard & Kathie Flanders
Joël & Lee Freeman
Joel & Melody Funk
Bob & Virginia Garlitz
Jeanne T. Gerulskis
Robert A. Giehl
Daniel Moore
Jody Goodrich
Stephanie Gould
Pat & Dick Hage
Carole & Ken Heuser
George & Marty Humphrey
Liz Ahl
Jeannette Bilodeau
David & Carolyn Kent
Randy & Ronda Kilanowski
Sam & Barb Laverack
Carl & Sandra Lehner
Michael Long
Kathleen Lutter
Kimberly MacKay
Shandra McLane
Robert Miller
Sue Mitchell
Douglas & Claire Moorehead
Maggie Mumford
Susan Murphy
Merelise O'Connor
Joyce Palmer
Keith & Shelly Philbrick
Karen Price
Donna Ramsay-Strong
John Richards
Kathi Richter
Arnold & Bernadette Russek
Jonathan Santore
Linda Saulnier
Olivia & Jack Saunders
Judy Sharkey
Shane Sirles
Frank B. Stevens
Wolfgang & Dianne Stiller
Cynthia Vascak
Valerie Vermeulen
Richard & Katherine Weymouth
Barbara Williams
Agnes & Don Winchell
Voices Against
Violence
PO Box 53
Plymouth, NH 03264
Office Phone:
1(603) 536-5999
1(603) 536-3423
Crisis Line:
1 (603) 536-1659
1 (877) 221-6176 (toll free)
Since 1981 Voices Against Violence has been reaching out to
and supporting victims and survivors of domestic violence, sexual violence, and stalking. Our advocates provide understanding, information, and support to victims, survivors, and nonoffending family and friends. Our services include a 24-hour
Crisis Line, Court Advocacy, Police and Hospital Accompaniment, Systems Advocacy, Emergency Shelter, Support Groups,
and Education and Outreach. Domestic and sexual violence
can take many forms including physical abuse, mental abuse,
sexual assault, verbal threatening, and name calling. It can affect anyone at any time: friends, coworkers, relatives, children,
teens, men, and women. By acknowledging the existence of
domestic and sexual violence and stalking in our communities,
we can raise awareness of the problem and enable both victims
and witnesses to take action and break the cycle of violence.
Reaching Out.
Speaking Out.
Free and Confidential
24 hours a day, 7 days a week