EMOTIONS
“Communication shapes our feelings, and feelings
shape our communication.”
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
○
Ability to understand and manage one’s own
emotions and to be sensitive to others’ feelings.
○
positively linked with:
○ self-esteem
○ life satisfaction
○ self-acceptance
○ healthy conflict management
○ relationships
WHAT ARE EMOTIONS?
• Physiological Factors
• Nonverbal Reactions
• Cognitive Interpretations
• Verbal Expression
PHYSIOLOGICAL CHANGES
○
Bodily changes occur:
● Increased heart rate
● Rise in blood pressure
● Increase in adrenaline
● Elevated blood sugar level
● Slowing of digestion
● Dilation of pupils
● Churning stomach
● Tense jaw
NONVERBAL REACTIONS
○
Observable changes:
● Blushing, perspiring
● Facial expression, posture
● Vocal tone, rate
○
Ambiguous
○
Nonverbal behavior can cause emotional state
COGNITIVE INTERPRETATIONS
○
The mind impacts how we feel.
○
Experience of emotions comes from labels we give
VERBAL EXPRESSION
○
○
Used to display emotions
Use specific emotion words to represent intensity.
Annoyed –— Angry –— Furious
Pensive –— Sad —– Grieving
Content –— Happy –— Ecstatic
Anxious –— Afraid –— Terrified
Liking –— Loving —– Adoring
2
INFLUENCES ON EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION
○
Personality (i.e. extrovert, neurotic)
○
Culture (i.e. display rules, norms & values)
○
Gender (men vs women, feminine vs masculine)
○
Social Conventions and Roles (unwritten rules?)
○
Fear of Self-Disclosure (risk unpleasant consequences)
○
Emotional Contagion – transferring of emotions
PERSONALITY
○
There is a clear relationship between personality
and the way we experience and express emotions
○
○
○
Extroverts tend to report more positive
emotions
Neurotic individuals tend to report more
negative emotions
Personality doesn’t have to govern your
communication satisfaction
CULTURE
○
A significant factor that influences emotional
expression in different cultures is whether that
culture is:
○
Individualistic (United States and Canada)
○ These cultures feel comfortable revealing their
emotions to people with whom they are close
○
Collectivistic (Japan and India)
○ These cultures prize harmony and discourage
expressions of negative emotions which may
upset relationships
GENDER
○
Biological sex and gender roles shape the ways
men and women experience and express their
emotions.
○
While men and women experience the same
emotions, there are differences in the ways they
express them.
SOCIAL CONVENTIONS
○
The unwritten rules of communication discourage
the direct expression of emotion
○
Emotion labor (shaped by social roles)
○ Managing or even suppressing emotions is both
appropriate and necessary
FEAR OF SELF-DISCLOSURE
○
In a society that discourages the expression of
emotions, revealing them can seem risky
○
Someone who shares feelings risks unpleasant
consequences:
○
○
○
○
others might misunderstand
might look like a sign of weakness
might make others uncomfortable
could be used against you
EMOTIONAL CONTAGION
○
The process by which emotions are transferred
from one person to another
○
Is it possible to catch someone’s mood?
GUIDELINES FOR EXPRESSING EMOTION
○
Recognize your feelings
○
Recognize the difference between feeling, talking, and acting
○
Expand your emotional vocabulary
○
Share multiple feelings
○
Consider when and where to express your feelings
○
Accept responsibility for your feelings
○
Be mindful of the communication channel
MANAGING DIFFICULT EMOTIONS
Facilitative
○
Debilitative
Contributes to effective
functioning.
○
Detracts from effective
performance.
Difference between the two isn't quality but degree.
- Intensity
- Duration
SOURCES OF DEBILITATIVE EMOTIONS
○
Physiology
○
Emotional Memory
○
Self-Talk
SELF-TALK
○
Interpretations people make of an event,
during the process of self-talk that
determine their feelings
○
Thoughts Cause Feelings
THOUGHTS CAUSE FEELINGS
Event
Thought
Feeling
Being called names
“I’ve done
something wrong”
hurt, upset
Being called names “My friend must be concern, sympathy
sick.”
Hearing “I love you” “This is a genuine
statement”
delight
Hearing “I love you” “She’s saying this to
manipulate me.”
anger
• Key is to reappraise the event through self-talk
(internal monologue)
IRRATIONAL THINKING &
DEBILITATIVE EMOTIONS
○
Fallacy of perfection (138)
○
Fallacy of approval (138)
○
Fallacy of should (140)
○
Fallacy of overgeneralization (140)
○
Fallacy of causation (141)
○
Fallacy of helplessness (141)
○
Fallacy of catastrophic expectations (142)
MINIMIZING DEBILITATIVE EMOTIONS
○
○
○
○
Monitor your emotional reactions
Note the activating event
Record your self-talk
Reappraise your irrational beliefs
○ offer an alternative way of thinking
that is more rational
JOURNAL SUGGESTIONS
○
Describe how the influences on emotional
expression (pg 121-125) have affected your
communication in an important
relationship.
○
Keep a two or three-day record of your
debilitative emotions. Are any of them
based on irrational thinking? Examine your
conclusions, and see if you repeatedly use
any of the fallacies described. How can you
reappraise your irrational beliefs?