THE STUDY OF PRAYER AND FORGIVENESS AS
PREDICTORS OF MARITAL SATISFACTION AMONG CHRISTIAN COUPLES
NEWLY MARRIED UP TO EIGHT YEARS
A Dissertation
Presented to
The Faculty of
The Jack D. Terry School of Church and Family Ministries
Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary
In Partial Fulfillment
of the Requirements for the Degree
Doctor of Philosophy
by
Mark Williams Weston
May, 2012
UMI Number. 3510646
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APPROVAL SHEET
THE STUDY OF PRAYER AND FORGIVENESS AS PREDICTORS OF MARITAL
SATISFACTION AMONG CHRISTIAN COUPLES NEWLY MARRIED UP TO
EIGHT YEARS
Mark Williams Weston
Dr. Dana Wicker, Associate Professor, Psychology and Counseling, Supervisor
Dr. Terri Stqvall/Associate Professor, Women's Studies
Date
To Shannon,
my wife, my friend, my gift from God,
and to
Ryan,
our son in whom we are well pleased
ABSTRACT
NAME OF AUTHOR: Mark Williams Weston
DATE DEGREE GRANTED: May 2012
NAME OF DEGREE: Doctor of Philosophy
SCHOOL: Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary
NAME AND TITLE OF ADVISOR: Dr. Dana Wicker, Professor of Psychology and
Counseling
TITLE: The Study of Prayer and Forgiveness as Predictors of Marital Satisfaction among
Christian Couples Newly Married up to Eight Years
PROBLEM: The problem of this study was to determine the relationship between marital
satisfaction among Christian couples who were newly married up to eight years of
marriage and a specified set of predictor variables. These variables were the individual
spouse's belief and practice of prayer and their motivation to forgive.
PROCEDURES: The Multi-dimensional Prayer Inventory (MPI), the Transgressionrelated Interpersonal Motivation -12 (TRIM-12), and the Kansas Marital Satisfaction
Scale (KMSS) were administered to 98 spouses attending selected Southern Baptist
Churches in northeast Tarrant County, Texas in the spring of 2011. Total scores for the
Qualitative Prayer subscale of the MPI, and the TRIM-12 were obtained. Standard
multiple regression analysis was conducted to determine the relationship between a
spouse's belief and practice of prayer and their motivation to forgive, and their marital
satisfaction. Independent sample t-tests were conducted to identify relationships that
existed between scores on the subscales of the MPI, the TRIM-12, and marital
satisfaction scores. An ANOVA was run to identify differences between age groupings
of the couples and their marital satisfaction scores.
FINDINGS AND CONCLUSION: Scores from the MPI and the TRIM-12 were entered
into the regression analysis simultaneously indicating these two variables were not
significant predictors of marital satisfaction at the 0.05 level. An independent samples ttest showed scores on the MPI provided empirical support for the importance of prayer to
the Christian couples, but also showed a divergence between their belief and practice of
prayer. Results from an ANOVA on age groupings indicated, during the first eight years
in the marriage, that older spouses' level of marital satisfaction decreased slightly. The
development of uniquely Christian instruments to measure spiritual disciplines is called
for to have a more accurate assessment of concepts such as happiness, satisfaction, and
holiness in Christian marriages.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Page
LIST OF FIGURES
x
LIST OF TABLES
xi
PREFACE
xii
Chapter
1. INTRODUCTION
1
Introductory Statement
1
Thesis Statement
6
Statement of the Problem
7
Purpose of the Study
7
Significance of the Study
7
Statement of the Hypothesis
10
2. SYNTHESIS OF RELATED LITERATURE
11
Marital Satisfaction
11
Religiosity
23
Spiritual Disciplines
29
Theological Foundation
46
3. METHOD
65
Population
65
vii
Chapter
Page
Sampling
66
Instruments
66
Limitations
71
Assumptions
71
Definitions
72
Design
73
Procedure for Collecting the Data
73
4. ANALYSIS
78
Procedure for Data Analysis
78
Demographic Data
81
Descriptive Data
82
Testing the Hypothesis
85
Post-hoc Testing
86
5. FINDINGS AND CONCLUSIONS
90
Findings
90
Interpretation of Data Analysis
92
Conclusions
106
Recommendations for Future Research
108
6. THEOLOGICAL REFELCTIONS
112
Theological Insights and Implications
112
Conclusion
127
viii
Chapter
Page
Appendix
1. HUMAN SUBJECTS RESEARCH CONSENT FORM
131
2. PARTICIPANT SIGN-UP FORM
133
3. EXPLANATION OF THE STUDY
134
4. LETTER OF INVITATION TO THE PASTORS OF DISCIPLESHIP AND
SMALL GROUPS
135
5. MULTI-DIMENSIONAL PRAYER INVENTORY (MPI)
136
6. TRANSGRESSION-RELATED INTERPERSONAL MOTIVATIONS MEASURE
(TRIM-12)
139
7. KANSAS MARITAL SATISFACTION SCALE (KMSS)
140
8. DEMOGRAPIC SURVEY
141
9. LETTER OF INVITATION AND APPRECIATION
142
10. MATERIAL DELIVERY TRACKING SHEET
143
11. LETTER OF ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF
RETURNED MATERIAL
144
12. PERMISSION TO USE THE MPI
145
13. PERMISSON TO USE THE TRIM-12
146
14. PERMISSION TO USE THE KMSS
147
BIBLIOGRAPHY
160
ix
LIST OF FIGURES
Figure
Page
1. Satisfaction Marriage Scores on the KMSS
154
2. Histogram Scores of the Qualitative Prayer Subscale on the MPI
155
3. Histogram Scores on the TRIM-12
156
4. Means Plot of KMSS Scores by Years Married
157
5. Reported Time Spent in Prayer by Husbands on the MPI
158
6. Reported Time Spent in Prayer by Wives on the MPI
159
x
LIST OF TABLES
Table
Page
1. Scoring for the MPI Qualitative Prayer Subscale
148
2. Demographic Descriptive Statistics
149
3. Demographic Statistics of Churches in the Study
150
4. Multicollinearity Statistic for the Independent Variables
151
5. Regression Model for Prayer and Forgiveness
152
6. Pearson Correlation for Prayer and Forgiveness
153
xi
PREFACE
Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote on the importance of Christian community for every
believer. He believed that the Christian who did not have the opportunity for daily
encounters with other believers found indescribable joy in having time in fellowship
together with believers, even if only for a briefest of moment.1 But for those in Christ
who have the blessing and privilege of living in daily fellowship of life it should be
recognized as an incredible gift to have the love, support, and encouragement of brothers
and sisters in Christ so readily available. This is the truth of my heart as I come to the
end of this amazing journey. I have been blessed to have had the prayers,
encouragement, and support of so many who walked along side of me in the course of
this degree. I know beyond doubt that without the blessing of so many in the community
of Christ I would not be completing this call upon my life.
I am grateful for fellow pastors and ministers of the gospel who have poured
their lives into mine and prepared the way so that I might be able to pursue God's call on
my life; Dr. Luther Mann, Mr. Tom Coffan, Dr. Tom Elliff, Mr. John Brooks, Mr. Bill
Davis, Dr. W.C. Everett, Dr. Rick Ferguson, Mr. Rick Lewis, Dr. Bob Roberts, Mr.
Randy Miller, Mr. Jordan Fowler, Mr. Mike Reed, and Dr. Dennis Jeffares. These men
'Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together (New York: Haiper and Row, Publishers, 1954), 19.
xii
challenged me, encouraged me, and helped me to see Christ more clearly in my life and
ministry both as a pastor and Christian counselor. I am blessed to call them friends and
brothers and will forever give thanks to God for their ministry in my life and for the
furtherance of God's Kingdom.
The community of Christ in my life extends beyond those who have served as
colleagues in ministry. Though space limits me, I wish to acknowledge those friends who
have meant so much to my family and me during this journey. Each has contributed to
the completion of this journey; Orval and Cynthia Cragle, Kyle and Cathy Cobble, Mike
and Michelle Delargy, and Pete and Bebe Valenti. Your prayers and kindness have been
used by God to provide strength to face the challenges of pursuing the Ph.D..
I want to acknowledge the fellowship at Northwood Church. You gave me the
joy and privilege of serving you as a staff pastor and later as a counselor in residence.
Our time together in service to Christ has provided the needed spiritual foundation to
accomplish this goal and look toward the future with great anticipation as to how God is
going to move in my life. You have also provided me with a place to further the
Kingdom of God by bringing hope and healing in Christ through professional and
pastoral counseling that is based upon a biblical-world view. Because of your
faithfulness, the vision that God placed upon my life has been brought to fruition in the
lives of many who have received counseling through the counseling center at Northwood.
The community of Christ at Southwestern has been a great source of support
and brevity. My doctoral colleagues, and professors have each contributed to my
attaining of this goal. I want to acknowledge my chairperson Eh-. Dana Wicker, without
whom I would not be the writer and counselor I am today. Your wisdom, both academic
and spiritual has helped me persevere and mature as a teacher and therapist. I also wish
to thank Dr. Ian Jones, Dr. Elias Mointinho, Dr. Scott Floyd, Dr. Michael McGuire, Dr.
Rick Yount, and Dr. Terri Stovall. To my colleagues I express my deepest gratitude to
God for allowing me to become a member of such an incredible family of doctoral
colleagues; Chris Stark, Chris Murray, Mindy May, Luigi Leos, and Dr. Wes Center. I
am looking forward to all of us gathering one day to celebrate what God has done at an
AACC event.
My greatest thanks and indebtedness for support and encouragement goes to
my family. I thank my Dad and Mom, Dr. Eugene Weston and Mrs. Margaret Weston
who raised me in the love and admonition of the Lord. The examples and testimonies
they gave to me of love and service to others was the foundation upon which God called
me into fulltime Christian ministry. I also thank my mother-in-law Mrs. Betty Dixon
who has prayerfully supported my work and ministry throughout my marriage to her
daughter.
Most of all I acknowledge and give praise to God for my wife Shannon and
son Ryan who have been my greatest source of strength to overcome the hurdles that
have been on the path we have journeyed. I am blessed to have married a godly woman
who seeks Christ and speaks God's truth into my life. She is more than my helpmate, she
is a gift God brought into my life to accomplish His will for both our lives. There have
been days of rejoicing and days of enduring, but through them all she has stood by me
and urged me to rely not on my strength or my power but the Spirit of the Lord. Ryan
has been a blessing since God brought him into his mother and my life. God's hand is
upon him, and his innocence and love has helped me to see the true goal for our family is
not this degree, but God's call on our family to further His kingdom locally and globally.
To my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ I give all praise and glory for the call on
my life to serve Him and take part in the only true reality: the Kingdom of God. Only in
Him do I find completeness. May this degree be used to bring honor and glory to His
name so that through it many might experience the power of healing through salvation
and sound, biblical-worldview counseling.
Mark Williams Weston
Keller, Texas
May, 2012
xv
CHAPTER ONE
INTRODUCTION
Introductory Statement
Marital satisfaction between a husband and wife has been the subject of much
research, beginning in the late 1930's with Lewis Terman's work on marital happiness.1
Marital satisfaction has been defined in broad and differing terms. Definitions of marital
satisfaction appear to be as individualized as the study being conducted, and at times as
simplistic as asking a single item response as to degree of self-reported satisfaction.2
Mahoney et al., examined a body of research on religion, marriage, and parenting over a
period of 20 years. The review covered 94 studies with 51 of these looking specifically
'Lewis M. Terman and Winifred B. Johnson, "Methodology and Results of
Recent Studies in Marital Adjustment," American Sociological Review 4, no. 3 (June
1939): 307.
2Marital
satisfaction has been defined as a couple's sense of prosperity,
Khodabakhsh Ahmadi and Fateme Hosseini Hossein-abadi, "Religiosity, Marital
Satisfaction and Child Rearing," Pastoral Psychology 57, no. 5/6 (2009): 212; the nature
and intensity of distress, Christopher H. Rosik and Jelena Pandzic, "Marital Satisfaction
among Christian Missionaries: A Longitudinal Analysis from Candidacy to Second
Furlough," Journal of Psychology and Christianity 27, no.l (2008): 6; and the degree of
happiness each spouse reports regarding their life with each other. The Quality Marriage
Index (QMI) uses a 10-point Likert type scale to score quality and happiness of the
marriage relationship with a range of response being very unhappy to perfectly happy,
Michelle Givertz, Christ Segrin, and Alesia Hanzal, "The Association between
Satisfaction and Commitment Differs across Marital Couple Types," Communication
Research 36, no. 4 (2009): 567.
1
2
at marriage.3 Regarding marriage, these researchers discovered that one consistent
influencer of marital satisfaction was a religious belief of marriage being a lifelong
commitment and divorce as being unjustified in most circumstances.4 When considering
satisfaction in Christian marriages it needs to be defined in terms of the biblical mandate
found in scripture (see Ephesians 5:22-33; Hosea 1:1-14:9; Genesis 2:21-24; I
Corinthians 7:1-16).
Paul writing to the church at Ephesus on the marriage relationship, in
Ephesians 5:22-33, emphasizes the roles of both husband and wife (the wife submitting to
the husband and the husband submitting to the lordship of Christ). Dunnam notes that
submission is a theme throughout the New Testament and a general principle by which
all Christians are to be guided.5 In this passage on marriage are God's declarative acts of
oneness, and the commitment to marriage that is nurtured by love and care, leading a
couple toward perfection in love.6
Religiosity has been operationally defined by several researchers as religious
beliefs and behaviors that are part of an individual's behavioral patterns.7 It has been
3Annette
Mahoney, Kenneth I. Pargament, Nalini Tarakeshwar, and Aaron B.
Swank, "Religion in the Home in the 1980s and 1990s: A Meta-Analytic Review and
Conceptual Analysis of Links between Religion, Marriage, and Parenting," Journal of
Family Psychology 15, no. 4 (2001): 559-596.
4Ibid.,
590.
'Maxie D. Dunnam, Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, Philemon,
The Communicator's Commentary, ed. Lloyd J. Ogilvie, vol. 8 (Waco: Word Books,
1982), 229.
6Ibid.,
7
234.
Kieran T. Sullivan, "Understanding the Relationship Between Religiosity and
3
noted that researchers often use the term 'spirituality' interchangeably with the term
'religiosity.'8 Hood, Hill, and Spilka delineate the differences between spirituality and
religion by observing, "The connotations of 'spirituality' are more personal and
psychological than institutional, whereas the connotations of religion are more
institutional and sociological."9 Studies have defined religiosity as including the spouses'
church attendance, offerings, and religious experience (feeling close to God.)10
Participation in rituals or other religious ceremonies have also been used as an
operationalized definition of religiosity.11
The practice of spiritual disciplines is a process intended to transform an
individual from casual Christian to conformer in Christ. Richard J. Foster wrote his
seminal work on the subject of spiritual disciplines in 1978 arguing that the process of
Marriage: An Investigation of the Immediate and Longitudinal Effects of Religiosity on
Newlywed Couples," Journal of Family Psychology 15 no. 4 (2001): 610-626; Jose
Oranthinkal and Alfons Cansteenwegen, "Religiosity and Marital Satisfaction,"
Contemporary Family Therapy: An International Journal 28, no. 4 (2006): 497-504;
Khodabakhsh Ahmadi, Esfandiar Azad-Marzabadi, and Seyed Mahdi Nabipoor Ashrafi,
"The Influence of Religiosity on Marital Satisfaction," Social Science 38, no. 1
(2009):103-110; Daniel T. Lichter and Julie H. Carmalt, "Religion and Marital Quality
among Low-income Couples," Social Science 38, no. 1 (2009): 168-187; and Emry
Williams, Leslie Francis, and Andrew Village, "Marriage, Religion, and Human
Flourishing: How Sustainable is the Classic Durkheim Thesis in Contemporary Europe?"
Mental Health, Religion and Culture 13, no. 1 (2010): 93-104.
'Sylvan D. Ambrose, ed., Religion and Psychology: New Research (New York,
NY: Nova Science Publishers, 2006), 207.
9Ralph
W. Hood, Peter C. Hill, and Bernard Spilka, Psychology of Religion:
An Empirical Approach, 4th ed. (New York, NY: Guilford Press, 2009), 9.
,0Margaret
G. Dudley and Fredrick A Kosinski, Jr., "Religiosity and Marital
Satisfaction: A Research Note," Review of Religious Research 32, no. 1 (1990): 81.
11Ahmadi
and Hossein-abadi, "Religiosity, Marital Satisfaction and Child
4
developing a deeper, more mature relationship with God is through walking a path
amongst classical spiritual disciplines.12 James Gould wrote in his article on the role of
spiritual practice, "Where psychological strategies regulate behavior, moral formation
through classical spiritual disciplines like meditation, service, solitude, fasting,
journaling, and prayer transform the heart."13
Prayer is opening one's life to God; inviting Him to act in the believer's life.14
The need for the spiritual discipline of prayer is vital to the Christian, his marriage, and
life. An early study by Gruner examined private, religious devotional practices and
marital adjustment. As part of his findings, he suggests there is evidence for a positive
correlation between prayer and marital adjustment.15 Gardner, Butler, and Seedall
conducted a study that suggests there can be a negative impact of prayer on marital
satisfaction, as a part of a general religious belief system. The study's findings suggest,
for some couples, a harmful couple-Deity triangulation may occur within a perceived
power based triadic process model.16
Rearing," 211.
12Richard
J. Foster, Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth
(New York: Harper Row, Publishers, 1978), Foreword.
13James
Gould, "Becoming Good: The Role of Spiritual Practice,"
Philosophical Practice 1, no. 3 (2005): 136.
14Myron
S. Augsburger, Matthew, The Communicator's Commentary, ed.
Lloyd J. Ogilvie, vol. 1 (Waco, TX: Word Books, 1982), 86.
15Leroy
Gunner, "The Correlation of Private, Religious Devotional Practices
and Marital Adjustment," Journal of Comparative Family Studies 16, no. 1 (1985): 5152.
16Brandt
C. Gardner, Mark H. Butler, and Ryan B. Seedall, "En-Gendering the
Couple-Deity Relationship: Clinical Implications of Power and Process," Contemporary
Danaher makes the case for the importance of prayer as having openness to
God evidenced by words spoken and life lived.17 Danaher then makes the link between
this discipline and the importance of the spiritual discipline of forgiveness writing, "The
ultimate purpose of prayer [with regard toward forgiving an offender] is that it is only
from such a place [prayer] that our capacity for forgiveness increases."18
This link is supported in the research of McMinn, et ah, who associated the spiritual
discipline of prayer with the spiritual discipline of forgiveness finding,
Through prayer, our respondents were able to recall and express their deep hurts,
grow to recognize their own weaknesses and perhaps a sense of empathy for their
offenders, release their pain by giving it to God, and engage in the sometimes long
journey of forgiveness. 9
Several studies have looked at the spiritual discipline of forgiveness.20 Two
recurring concepts running through the variety of definitions of forgiveness are
interpersonal and intrapersonal forgiveness. Interpersonal forgiveness is understood as
Family Therapy, 30 (2008): 162.
17James
Danaher, "On Prayer and Forgiveness," Evangelical Review of
Theology 30, no. 4 (2006): 363.
18Ibid.,
367.
19Mark
McMinn, Heath Fervida, Keith A. Louwerse, Jennifer L. Pop, Ryan D.
Thompson, Bobby L. Trihub, and Susan McLeod-Harrison, "Forgiveness and Prayer,"
Journal of Psychology and Christianity 27, no. 8 (2008): 107.
20Glenn
Pettigrove, "The Forgiveness We Speak: Illocutionary Force of
Forgiving," The Southern Journal of Philosophy 42 (2004) 371-392; Don E. Davis,
Everett L. Worthington, Jr., Joshua N. Hook, and Daryl R. Van Tongeren, "The
Dedication to the Sacred (DS) Scale: Adapting a Marriage Measure to Study Relational
Spirituality," Journal of Psychology and Theology 37, no. 4 (2009): 265-275; and Jose
Orathinkal, Alfons Vansteenwegen, and Roger Burggraeve, "Forgiveness: A Perception
and Motivation Study among Married Adults," Scandinavian Journal of Psychology 49
(2008): 155-160.
6
being the process of forgiveness between two people. Jankelevitch expanded on this
when he wrote, "Forgiveness is not a monologue, but a dialogue."21 It is the relationship
aspect of two individuals seeking to heal a wrong committed by one against the other.
Intrapersonal forgiveness, which makes up the much of the psychological research,
considers forgiveness' process within the individual.
There is conflict in the research regarding the relationship between prayer and
marital satisfaction, and between forgiveness and marital satisfaction. Additionally, the
research lacks empirical studies of multiple Christian constructs upon marital
satisfaction.
McMinn, et al. conducted a study on forgiveness and prayer examining in
part the extent to which Christians spontaneously mentions prayer in describing the
process of forgiving, and narratives that enhance understanding of the relationship
between prayer and forgiveness.24
Thesis Statement
It is the thesis of this study that a Christian couples' report of satisfaction in
their marriage will be positively increased when the spiritual disciplines of prayer and
forgiveness are incorporated into their relationship.
21V.
Jankelevitch, Forgiveness (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2005),
129.
22Christopher
Peterson and Martin Seligman, Character Strengths and Virtues:
A Handbook and Classification (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2004), 39.
23William
M. Reynolds, "Development of Reliable and Short Forms of the
Marlowe-Crowne Social Desirability Scale," Journal of Clinical Psychology 38, no. 1
(1982): 375.
24Mark
R. McMinn, et al., "Forgiveness and Prayer," 107.
7
Statement of the Problem
The problem of this study was to determine the relationship between marital
satisfaction in selected Christian couples and a specified set of predictor variables. These
predictor variables are individual spouses' practice of prayer, and motivation to forgive.
Purpose of the Study
The purposes of this study were to:
1. Determine a spouse's individual practice of prayer as measured by The Multi­
dimensional Prayer Inventory (MPI).
2. Determine a spouse's individual motivation to forgive as measured by the
Transgression-related Interpersonal Motivations Measure (TRIM-12).
3. Examine the predictive nature of a spouse's individual attitude towards prayer and
motivation to forgive upon reported marital satisfaction as measured by the Kansas
Marital Satisfaction Scale (KMSS).
Significance of the Study
Lambert, et al. conducted a study on forgiveness and prayer examining the
relationship between prayer and an increased willingness to forgive.25 They found that
the participants in the study who prayed for a friend reported greater forgiveness for their
friend than did those who did not pray.26 The relationship between prayer and
forgiveness may be an important contributor to the process of forgiving. McMinn et al.,
in their study on prayer and forgiveness, also conclude by calling for additional studies
pairing prayer and forgiveness, "This is a preliminary, exploratory study that provides
25Nathaniel
M. Lambert, Frank D. Fincham, Tyler F. Stillman, Steven M.
Graham, and Steven R.H. Beach, "Motivating Change in Relationships: Can Prayer
Increase Forgiveness?" Psychological Science 21, no. 1 (2010): 129.
26 Ibid.,
130.
g
support for the idea of pairing prayer and forgiveness in future studies."27 Orathinkal and
Vansteenwegen have called for further research to establish a relational link between
religiosity and marital satisfaction.28 Studies in marital satisfaction, while addressing
religiousness as a general concept, tend to focus on singular spiritual disciplines, church
attendance, general beliefs, emotional feelings regarding spirituality, and motivations.29
For example, Brimhall and Butler conducted a study examining religious motivation and
marital satisfaction.30 They found that husbands who have high levels of internalized
religious motivation will report, along with their wives, higher levels of marital
27Mark
R. McMinn, et al., "Forgiveness and Prayer," 107.
28Jose
A. Orathinkal and Alfons Vansteenwegan, "Religiosity and Marital
Satisfaction," Contemporary Family Therapy 28, (2006): 258.
29Richard
A. Hunt and Morton B. King, "Religiosity and Marriage," Journal
for the Scientific Study of Religion 17, no. 4 (1978): 401; Margaret G. Dudley and
Fredrick A Kosinski, Jr., "Religiosity and Marital Satisfaction: A Research Note," 81;
Nicholas H. Wolfinger and W. Bradford Wilcox, "Happily Ever After? Religion, Marital
Status, Gender and Relationship Quality in Urban Families," Social Forces 84, no. 3
(2008): 1312-1315; Emry Williams, Leslie Francis, and Andrew Village, "Marriage,
Religion, and Human Flourishing: How Sustainable is the Classic Durkheim Thesis in
Contemporary Europe?" Mental Health, Religion and Culture 13, no. 1 (2010): 93-104;
John Rohrbaugh and Richard Jessor, "Religiosity in Youth: A Personal Control against
Deviant Behavior," Journal of Personality 43, no. 1 (1975): 136-155; Robert D. Enright
and Catherine T. Coyle, "Forgiveness Intervention with Post-abortion Men." In
Dimensions of Forgiveness: Psychological Research and Theological Speculations, ed.
E.L. Worthington, Jr., (Philadelphia, PA: The Templeton Foundation Press, 1998): 10421046; Sandra Murray, Gina Bellavia, John G. Holmes, Dale W. Griffin, and Dan
Dolderman, "Kindred Spirits? The Benefits of Egocentrism in Close Personal
Relationships," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 82, no. 4 (2002): 563-581;
and Jose A. Orathinkal and Alfons Vansteenwegen, "The Effect of Forgiveness on
Marital Satisfaction in Relation to Marital Stability," 251-260.
30S.
Brimhall and Mark H. Butler, "Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Religious Motivation
and the Marital Relationship," The American Journal of Family Therapy 35 (2007): 247.
9
satisfaction.31
Their study defined religious motivation using the Intrinsic/Extrinsic-Revised
scale. Statements on this measure focus upon motivation of religion and faith (I enjoy
reading about religion; I try hard to live all my life according to my religious beliefs; I go
to church mainly because I enjoy seeing people there; What religion offers me most is
comfort in times of trouble and sorrow).32 The researchers recommend further research
to "disentangle intrinsic and extrinsic religiosity."33 While motivation regarding religion
and beliefs were considered by Brimhall and Butler, little research has considered
forgiveness, prayer or other Christian disciplines together as predictor variables on
marital satisfaction.
Danaher, writing on prayer and forgiveness, notes two important factors in
connecting prayer with forgiveness: first, a person needs to be present with God to truly
experience prayer as communication with the Divine; second, a person needs to be in the
Spirit and not the flesh in order to increase one's capacity to forgive others.34 Danaher
concludes by noting, "Real forgiveness comes only when we are in God's presence and at
the core of our being - real forgiveness takes place only in that deep place of prayer."35
This study is significant for two reasons:
31Ibid.,
249.
32Ibid.,
251.
33Ibid.,
249.
34James
35Ibid.,
Danaher, "On Prayer and Forgiveness," 363-367.
366-367.
10
1. It provided empirical evidence as to whether an individual spouse's belief and
practice of prayer and motivation to forgive are predictors of self-reported marital
satisfaction.
2. It furthered the research in the field of marriage and family counseling by bringing
attention to the need to study multiple Christian disciplines and their influence to each
other and reported marital satisfaction.
Statement of the Hypothesis
The first hypothesis of this study was that a spouse's belief and practice of
prayer is a significant positive predictor of self-reported marital satisfaction among
individual Christian spouses. The second hypothesis of this study was that motivation to
forgive is a significant positive predictor of self-reported marital satisfaction among
individual Christian spouses. The third hypothesis of this study was that a spouse's belief
and practice of prayer and motivation to forgive are significant positive predictors of
marital satisfaction among individual Christian couples.
CHAPTER TWO
SYNTHESIS OF RELATED LITERATURE
Marital Satisfaction
Marital satisfaction research dates back to the original work of Lewis Terman
and Winifred Johnson who investigated methodologies employed in the study of marital
adjustment.1 The styles in which couples interact have been the subject of many decades
of study since Terman's influential work and represent the influence of psychology and
theology upon the study of marriage.2 Psychological studies have given empirical
evidence to, and theological articles have given support of, the effect of different
predictor variables upon marital satisfaction.3 Separate studies by Httnler and Goefoz,
and by Sweatman have shed light on the divorce rates among both non-Christian and
'Terman and Johnson, "Methodologies and Results of Recent Studies in
Marital Adjustment," 310.
*%
Douglas Anderson, "Marriage as Sacred Mystery: Some Theological
Reflections on the Purposes of Marriage," Word and World 5, no. 4 (1985): 364-369;
C.W. Baugh, A.W. Avery, and K.L. Sheets-Haworth, "Marital Problem Solving Scale: A
Measure to Assess Relationship Conflict Negotiation Ability," Family Therapy 9 (1982):
43-51; M. Cornwall, "The Determinants of Religious Behavior: A Theoretical Model and
Empirical Test," Social Forces 68 (1989): 572-592; and Crystal Dehle and John E.
Landers, "You Can't Always Get What You Want, But Can You Get What You Need?
Personality Traits and Social Support in Marriage," Journal of Social & Clinical
Psychology 24, no. 7 (2005): 1051-1076.
3Paul
R. Giblin, "Marital Spirituality: A Qualitative Study," Journal of
Religion and Health 36, no. 4 (Winter, 1997):321-332; and Shirley Foster Hartley,
"Marital Satisfaction among Clergy Wives," Review of Religious Research 19, no. 2
(1978): 178-191.
11
12
Christian marriages4 by exploring trends in how marriage satisfaction is defined, and the
influence of religiosity upon the couple's reported levels of marital adjustment.5
Defining Martial Satisfaction
There is, across the field of study in marital satisfaction, a broad understanding
of how marital satisfaction is defined. A search of the Academic Search Premier through
the knowledge portal via Roberts Library online database on the Southwestern Baptist
Theological Seminary website produced 114 articles and studies conducted on marital
satisfaction and published in academic, scholarly journals.6 The subject of marital
401ga
S. Hiinler and Tulin Goesoz, "The Effect of Religiousness on Marital
Satisfaction: Testing the Mediator Role of Marital Problem Solving between
Religiousness and Marital Satisfaction Relationship," Contemporary Family Therapy 27,
no. 1 (March, 2005): 123-136; and Stephen M. Sweatman, "Marital Satisfaction, Crosscultural Adjustment Stress, and the Psychological Sequelae," Journal of Psychology and
Theology 27, no. 2 (1999): 154-163.
5Divorce
rates remain at high levels. Rates have varied from between 35% 50% in recent years and it appears that Americans are becoming more accepting of
divorce. Barna research has concluded that Americans are becoming more accepting of
divorce as a natural part of life. Christian marriages are also witnessing high rates of
divorce. The U.S. Census Bureau reports the percentage of Christian marriages that end
in divorce is 32% nationwide. "New Marriage and Divorce Statistics Released, "
[online]; accessed February 8,2010; available from http://www.barna.org/barnaupdate/article/15-familvkids/42-new-marriage-and-divorce-statistics-released: Internet;
and U.S. Census Bureau, "Number, Timing, and Duration of Marriages and Divorces:
2001," U.S. Census Bureau Household Economic Studies (February, 2005): 4.
6The
results show marital satisfaction being the subject of numerous studies
with a number of variables being studied or reported as having or not having a correlation
with marital satisfaction, positive or negative in nature. The articles were filtered through
three specific domains within the EBSCOhost database: Academic Search, Religion and
Philosophy Collection, and the Psychology and Behavioral Sciences Collection. The
majority of these articles and studies explored medical issues (8 studies), sex (8 studies),
depression (10 studies), spousal perceptions (5 studies), and religiosity (5 studies) as
variables whose effects were measure on marital satisfaction. Marital Satisfaction
Studies, Knowledge Portal [on-line]; accessed 10 November 2010; available from
http://web.ebscohost.com.aaron.swbts.edu/ehost/: Internet.
13
satisfaction, in these articles, has been studied as a dependent and predictor variable
along with other variables to determine relationships and influences.7 Ahmandi et al., in
looking at religiosity's effect upon marital satisfaction, simplified the definition by
stating that "marital satisfaction is when the couple feels most satisfied with one
another."8 These researchers used the ENRICH marital satisfaction measure and nine
subscales to define satisfaction in the marriage based upon self reported satisfaction in
the nine identified subscales.9
Some of the factors associated with influencing marital satisfaction have
included spouses feeling equal as partners,10 trust, love, and loyalty,11 and intimacy and
7Bodenmann,
Lederman, and Bradbury looked at stress and sex as indicators of
marital functioning which they defined as marital satisfaction. Guy Bodenmann, Thomas
Ledermann, and Thomas Bradbury, "Stress, Sex, and Satisfaction in Marriage," Personal
Relationships 14, no. 4 (2007): 553; Homish, et al., explored in a longitudinal study the
effects of multiple substance use upon marital satisfaction finding patterns of substance
use impacted marital satisfaction negatively, specifically noting when there were
differences between husband and wives' substance use. They defined marital satisfaction
as adjustment measured by the Marital Adjustment Test. Gregory G. Homish, Kenneth
E. Leonard, Lynn T. Kozlowski, and Jack R. Cornelius, "The Longitudinal Association
between Multiple Substance Use Discrepancies and Marital Satisfaction," Addiction 104,
no. 7 (2009): 1207-1208; and Shackelford, Besser, and Goetz's study of personality,
marital satisfaction, and the probability of infidelity where marital satisfaction, as a
predictor variable, was defined as feelings of each spouse as to sexual intimacy, their
spouse as an encourager, and an overall general assessment of the marriage. Todd K.
Shackelford, Avi Besser, and Aaron T. Goetz, "Personality, Marital Satisfaction, and
Probability of Marital Infidelity," Individual Differences Research 6, no. 1 (2008): 17.
a
Ahmadi, Azad-Marzabadi, and Ahrafit, "The Influence of Religiosity on
Marital Satisfaction," 103.
9The
nine subscales are personality, communication, conflict resolution,
financial agreement, leisure activity, sexual relationship, parenting, friends and family,
and religious orientation. With regard to religious orientation the researchers considered
marriages based upon equality, friendship, and love to be factors contributing to marital
satisfaction. Ibid., 104,106.
10Y.
Aida and T. Falbo, "Relationships between Marital Satisfaction,
14
avoidance of hostile control.12 Rosik and Pandzic, studying a sample of 28 missionary
couples from the Orient Crusades International over an eight-year period, using the
Marital Satisfaction Inventory (MSI), and single item measures additional to the MSI,
found mixed results in marital satisfaction.13 Defining marital satisfaction as the nature
and intensity of distress in distinct areas of partners' interactions, these researchers found
no significant changes in marital satisfaction across time between first and second
furloughs. However they did find significant changes toward less marital satisfaction in
several dimensions of the MSI between candidacy and first furlough.14 These dimensions
include the couples' ability to problem solve, their time together, role orientation, sexual
dissatisfaction, and communication.15 Their findings suggest the need for targeted
member care for missionaries during their first term of appointment.
Predictor Variables on Marital Satisfaction
There have been many different predictor variables associated with the study
of marital satisfaction. These predictor variables used to measure marital satisfaction,
Resources, and Power Strategies," Sex Roles 24 (1991): 46.
11A.
Roizblatt, F. Kaslow, S. Rivera, T. Fuchs, C. Conejero, and A. Zacharias,
"Long-lasting Marriages in Chile," Contemporary Family Therapy 21 (1999): 116.
12C.
Goodman, "Intimacy and Autonomy in Long-term Marriage," Journal of
Gerontological Social Work 32 (1999): 87.
13Rosik
and Pandzic, "Marital Satisfaction among Christian Missionaries: A
Longitudinal Analysis from Candidacy to Second Furlough," 6.
14Ibid.,
,5Ibid.
12-13.
15
include stress,16 violence,17 life transition points,18 and differing types of education or
educational programs.19 Health and medical issues have been used as independent
variables in studies on marital satisfaction. Delelis et al., explored the effects of cystic
fibrosis on a couples' marital satisfaction, emotions, and coping skills using a French
version of the Dyadic Adjustment Scale.20 Their results, emphasizing marital
satisfaction as being related to a couples' sense of happiness in the relationship, a
common theme throughout much of the literature, showed no significant relationship
16Bodenmann,
Ledermann, and Bradbury, 553; James M. Graham and Collie
W. Conoley, "The Role of Marital Attributions in the Relationship between Life Stressors
and Marital Quality," Personal Relationships 13, no. 2 (2006): 232, 234; and Joan
Stevenson-Hinde, James Patrick Curley, Rebecca Chicot, and Cessie Johannsson,
"Anxiety within Families: Interrelations, Consistency, and Change," Family Process 46,
no. 4 (2007): 552.
17Adrian
Kelly and W. Halford, "Verbal and Physical Aggression in Couples
Where the Female Partner is Drinking Heavily," Journal of Family Violence 21, no. 1
(2006): 12,15; and Sandra Stith, Narkia Green, Douglas Smith, and David Ward,
"Marital Satisfaction and Marital Discord as Risk Markers for Intimate Partner Violence:
A Meta-analytic Review," Journal of Family Violence 23, no. 3 (2008): 150, 154-158.
18Sonja
Perren, Agnes Von Wyl, Dieter Burgin, Heidi Simoni, and Kai Von
Kiltzing, "Intergenerational Transmission of Marital Quality across the Transition to
Parenthood," Family Process 44, no.4 (2005): 443,446-455; and Sara M. Gorchoff and
Oliver P John, "Contextualizing Change in Marital Satisfaction during Middle Age: An
18-year Longitudinal Study," Psychological Science 19, no. 11 (2008): 1195-1199.
19Lindsey
Einhorn, Tamara Williams, Scott Stanley, Nicole Wunderlin,
Howard Markman, and Joanne Eason, "PREP Inside and Out: Marriage Education for
Inmates," Family Process 47, no. 3 (2008): 345,348-351; Joe D. Wilmoth, "A Survey of
Marriage Preparation Provided by Assemblies of God Pastors in Oklahoma," Journal of
Pastoral Counseling 41 (2006): 30-31; and Robyn Parker, "The Effectiveness of
Marriage and Relationship Education Programs," Family Matters 77 (2007): 58-59.
20Gerald
Delelis, Christophe Vernonique, Leroy Sylvie, Johanne Vanneste, and
Benoit Wallaert, "The Effects of Cystic Fibrosis on Couples: Marital Satisfaction,
Emotions, and Coping Strategies," Scandinavian Journal of Psychology 49 (2008): 585.
16
between a diagnosis of cystic fibrosis and marital satisfaction.21 Additional studies
considering health and medical issues' impact upon marital satisfaction have included
T5
breast cancer, stem cell transplant patients, and neurological illnesses.
Other
variables researched include relationship expectations, personality, cultural effects,
transitions into parenthood, and religion and religiosity.
21Ibid.,
586.
22Chris
Hinnen, Mariet Hagedoorn, and Adelita V. Ranchor, "Relationship
Satisfaction in Women: A Longitudinal Case-control Study about the Role of Breast
Cancer, Personal Assertiveness, and Partners' Relationship-focused Coping," British
Journal of Health Psychology 13 (2008): 737-754.
23S.
Langer, J. Yi, B. Storer, and K. Syijala, "Marital Adjustment, Satisfaction
and Dissolution among Hematopoietic Stem Cell Transplant Patients and Spouses: A
Prospective, Five-year Longitudinal Investigation," Psycho-Oncology 19, no. 2 (2010):
190-200.
24Elodie
J. O'Connor, Marita P. McCabe, and Lucy Firth, "The Impact of
Neurological Illness on Marital Relationships," Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy 34
(2008): 115-132.
25Heather
M. Foran and Amy M. Smith-Slep, "Validation of a Self Report
Measure Unrealistic Relationship Expectations," Psychological Assessment 19, no. 4
(2007): 382-396.
26Mark
A. Whisman, Lisa A. Uebelacker, Natalie Tolejko, Yael Chatav, and
Margaret McKelvie, "Marital Discord and Well Being in Older Adults: Is the Association
Confounded by Personality?" Psychology and Aging 21, no. 3 (2006): 626-631; and
Erica L. Spotts, Paul Lichtenstein, Nancy Pedersen, Jenae M. Neiderhiser, Khell
Hansson, Marianne Cedeerblad, and David Reiss, "Personality and Marital Satisfaction:
A Behavioral Genetic Analysis," European Journal of Personality 19 (2005): 205-227.
Christopher H. Rosik and Jelena Pandzic, "Marital Satisfaction Among
Christian Missionaries: A Longitudinal Analysis from Candidacy to Furlough," 3-15.
28Brian
D. Doss, Galena K. Rhoades, Scott M. Stanley, and Howard J.
Markham, "Marital Therapy, Retreats, and Books: The Who, What, When, and Why of
Relationship Help-seeking," Journal of Marital and Family Therapy 35, no. 1 (January
2009): 18-29.
29Mahoney
et al., "Religion in the Home in the 1980s and 1990s: A Meta-
17
The Rosik and Pandzic study, noted previously, is of interest because the
researchers measured satisfaction among Christian missionaries who were adapting to a
new and different culture.30 This requires each spouse to depend upon one another as, in
many cases, the only source for emotional support. Their findings suggest with higher
levels of stress (e.g. adapting to new cultures/environments) dissatisfaction increases
within the marital relationship in areas of communication, distress, sex, child rearing, and
conflict in parenting.31 Marriage is a new culture for all couples and is an adjustment
process of growth which often can be challenged by transitions such as moves to new
areas, establishing new relationships, and dealing with pregnancy, childbirth, and
parenting. Spotts et al., studied personality effects upon marital satisfaction and defined
satisfaction as feelings, good or bad, toward the marriage by both spouses, and beliefs
about the other spouse's personality using a composite score of three different measures
of marital quality (the Dyadic Adjustment Scale, the Expressed Emotion Scale, and the
Agreement of Parenting Scale.)32 The Dyadic Adjustment Scale is widely used, but the
researcher's use of the Expressed Emotion Scale is of particular interest in that it
measures levels of criticism and over involvement in the marital relationship using three
subscales (criticism, critical remarks, and emotional over involvement) to determine
Analytic Review and Conceptual Analysis of Links between Religion, Marriage, and
Parenting," 63-101.
30Rosik
and Pandizc, Marital Satisfaction among Christian Missionaries: A
Longitudinal Analysis from Candidacy to Furlough," 5.
31 Ibid.,
32Erica
6.
L. Spotts, et al., "Personality and Marital Satisfaction: A Behavioral
Genetic Analysis," 211-212.
18
satisfaction levels in the marriage.
Their findings suggest that optimism and
aggression were strongly correlated with marital satisfaction suggesting that lower levels
of criticism may be predictive of positive reports of marital satisfaction.34 This appears
to support the work of John Gottman of Seattle Pacific University. Gottman has
developed what he calls the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse in referencing the seven most
damaging threats to a marriage relationship; among which is the damage inflicted by
criticism.35 The diversity of definition within the research regarding marital satisfaction
is observed in psychological studies and theological articles.
Psychological Perspective on Marital Satisfaction
Paluzio and DiLillo studied aggression among newlywed couples as a
longitudinal predictor of marital satisfaction.36 In part their study revealed that
psychological sexual intimate partner aggression was consistent with reports of victim
marital dissatisfaction.37 Peleg did a study examining the Bowenian concept of
33Ibid.,
211.
34Ibid.,
222-223.
35Gottman's
four horsemen are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and
stonewalling. His research suggests that couples who engage in criticism rather than
complaint with their spouse have a higher predictive divorce rate; one which Gottman
claims he can determine in the first five minutes of observing a couple with a 91%
accuracy rate. John D. Gottman, The Seven Principles to Making Marriage Work: A
Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert (New York: Random
House, 1999), 27-35.
36J.
Paluzio and D. DilLillo, "Physical, Psychological, and Sexual Intimate
Partner Aggression among Newlywed Couples: Longitudinal Prediction of Marital
Satisfaction," Journal of Family Violence 25, no. 7 (2010): 689-691.
37Ibid.,
697.
19
differentiation of self and marital satisfaction.38 Put forth by Murray Bowen,
differentiation of self is the level at which individuals are able to separate themselves
emotionally from another.39 Peleg's study found that a strong positive correlation exists
between differentiation of the self and marital satisfaction arguing that well differentiated
spouses are able to express a wider range of emotional intimacy in relationships without
having to sacrifice their basic self thereby report higher levels of marital satisfaction.40
Attachment is a psychological construct in which security in a relationship is
established by interaction between two individuals that are healthy and consistent over
time. Hirschberger et al., studied the attachment of married couples with each other in
exploring the effects of attachment upon marital satisfaction during the first fifteen years
of parenting.41 The one significant finding reported by the researchers was that a
380ra
Peleg, "The Relation between Differentiation of Self and Marital
Satisfaction: What Can Be Learned from Married People over the Course of Life?" The
American Journal of Family Therapy 36 (2008): 390.
39According
to Kerr and Bowen differentiation is a process that encompasses
(a) the intrapersonal ability to decrease emotional reactivity to significant others and
therefore respond intentionally and non-reactively in those relationships, and to define
and express one's own thoughts regardless of social pressure: and (b) the interpersonal
capacity to balance individuality and togetherness forces, take responsibility for one's
life, initiate and receive intimacy voluntarily, and establish clear boundaries for oneself.
M. E. Kerr and Murray Bowen, Family Evaluation (New York: Norton, 1998), 89-91.
40Peleg's
instruments included the Differentiation of Self Inventory (DSI)
translated into Hebrew used to assess levels of self-differentiation; and The Marital
Satisfaction Inventory (Hebrew Version) of the ENRICH scale. The DIS is a 46-item
self-reporting measurement that focuses on adults, their significant relationships, and
current relations with their family of origin using four subscales: emotional reactivity,
emotional cutoff, fusion with others, and I-position. Peleg, The Relation between
Differentiation of Self and Marital Satisfaction: What Can Be Learned from Married
People over the Course of Life, 395.
41Gilad
Hirschberger, Sanjay Srivastava, Penny Marsh, Carolyn Pape Cowan,
and Philip A Cowan, "Attachment, Marital Satisfaction, and Divorce during the First
20
husband's lower initial level of marital satisfaction, measured during the first child's
entrance into school, is a predictor of marital dissolution.42 This implies that there may
be benefit in measuring marital satisfaction early in the marriage as it may predict which
couples are at higher risk for divorce.
Social influences, or norms, upon marital satisfaction have been defined as the
perception and influence of "attitudes and behaviors of important others."43 The effect of
perceptions others hold can influence a marriage in multiple ways. Sullivan et al., found
that social norms were significant predictors of couples seeking premarital counseling
prior to marriage.44 This would suggest that couples who have an awareness of the
influence of perceptions will enter the marriage with a greater level of satisfaction in the
relationship. Social influence also encompasses cultural values in society. Cunningham
notes, in his study of changing attitudes towards gender specialization roles in marriage,
as evidenced throughout the 1990's and into the 21st century, that gender roles in
marriage are sociologically significant and influence outcomes that include marital
Fifteen Years of Parenthood," Personal Relationships 16 (2009): 401-405.
42The
researchers observed that with less attachment by the husband to the
family, a lower level of marital satisfaction resulted on self report measures. Ibid., 414.
43Kieran
T. Sullivan, Lauri A. Pasch, Tara Cornelius, and Ellen Cirigliano,
"Predicting Participation in Premarital Prevention Programs: The Health Belief Model
and Social Norms," Family Process 43, no. 2 (2004): 177.
^Men were found to have a greater percentage of increase in seeking out
premarital counseling (22%) than women (13%). The researchers report "Logistic
regression equations were run to predict participation from the social norm scales. For
men and women, recommendations by respected people significantly predicted
participation for men (change in chi-square = 13.81, p < .01) and for women (change in
chi-square = 8.09, p < .01). Ibid., 186.
21
satisfaction.45 He concludes by noting the study showed a declining of support for the
traditional role of husband as wage earner for the family and the wife being the
homemaker; especially in the first eight years of marriage.46 An earlier study by
McCarthy and Bodnar gave evidence of the influence of social norms upon perceived
equity between spouses in regard to sexuality practices.47 The significance of this study
is that it appears to support an earlier study by McCarthy in which findings suggest that
sexual activity may often serve to reduce tension between spouses during conflict which
would subsequently increase levels of martial satisfaction 48
The review of literature regarding the influences of psychological and social
constructs shows that there are many different variables that can effect marital
satisfaction among couples. While many psychological constructs are considered and
studied for their effect upon marital satisfaction, religious themes in psychological
research also reveal a number of different variables. An early example of this type of
research is by Hatch, James, and Schumm who examined spiritual intimacy and its effect
upon marital satisfaction 49 They asked the question regarding the directness of religious
45Mark
Cunningham, "Changing Attitudes toward the Male Breadwinner,
Female Homemaker Family Model: Influences of Women's Employment and Education
over the Lifecourse," Social Forces 87, no. 1 (2008): 299.
46Ibid.,
313.
47Barry
W. McCarthy and L. Elizabeth Bodnar, "The Equity Model of
Sexuality: Navigating and Negotiating the Similarities and Differences between Men and
Women in Sexual Behaviour, Roles and Values," Sexual and Relationship Therapy 20,
no. 2 (2005): 225-227.
48Brian
McCarthy, "Marital Sex as it Ought to Be" (paper presented at the 14th
annual Smart Marriages Conference, Orlando, FL, 10, July 2010), 8.
49Ruth
C. Hatch, Dorothy E. James, and Walter R. Schumm, "Spiritual
22
beliefs upon marriage and family; specifically if there were a direct effect or were there
indirect effects due to particular intervening variables.50 They found spiritual intimacy
indirectly affected marital satisfaction through emotional intimacy which suggested that
people simply getting more religious without emotional investment would not positively
affect marital satisfaction.51
The Christian couple is not immune from these influencers but must insulate
themselves through a biblical understanding of, and experience with, the effects a
relationship with God, through Christ, can have upon their marital satisfaction. These
psychological trends in marital satisfaction research reveal a definitive difference
between a psychological/social perspective and a theological view point. Psychological
studies have included a religious element in their research,
but it is from a theological
point of view that an understanding of spiritual formation, leading to the establishment of
spiritual disciplines, helps to define marital satisfaction, among Christian couples, more
clearly.
Psychological studies have undertaken to consider religious variables when
Intimacy and Marital Satisfaction," Family Relations 35, no. 4 (1986): 539.
50Ibid.
539.,
51Ibid.,
52Scott
544.
M. Stanley, Sarah W. Whitton, Sabina Low Sadberry, Mari L.
Clements, and Howard J. Markham, "Sacrifice as a Predictor of Marital Outcomes,"
Family Process 45, no.3 (2006): 289-303; Ryan N. Parsons, David P. Nalbone, J. Mark
Killmer, and Joseph L. Wetchler, "Identity Development, Differentiation, Personal
Authority, and Degree of Religiosity as Predictors of Interfaith Satisfaction," The
American Journal of Family Therapy, 35 (2007): 343-361; Ahmadi, Azad-Marzabadi,
and Ahrafit, "The Influence of Religiosity on Marital Satisfaction," 103; and Brimhall and
Butler, Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Religious Motivation and the Marital Relationship," 235249.
23
examining marital satisfaction. The subject of religiosity is considered in relation to the
impact it has on the husband and wife and their reported level of satisfaction. Religiosity
is a term that, like marital satisfaction, has been defined in different ways within
psychological research.
Religiosity
Studies have been conducted examining the influences of religious beliefs and
behaviors upon marriage. Faulkner, Davey and Davey explored gender as a predictor of
change in marital satisfaction, defining marital satisfaction as the amount of time spent
together and perception of the likelihood of divorce.53 They found husband's who
reported having more traditional gender roles were generally less satisfied in their
marriages but that gender role attitudes were not predictive of wives' changes in marital
satisfaction or marital conflict over time.54 While this study was not specific to Christian
couples it is an indication of the predictive nature of religiosity upon marital satisfaction.
Significant to this dissertation, these researchers also reported that a wives' religious
affiliation was predictive of a husbands' marital satisfaction.55 One of the early studies
on religiosity and marriage by Hunt and King examined religiosity and marital
satisfaction among 64 married couples, defining religiosity using thirteen measures.56
53Rhonda
A. Faulkner, Maureen Davey, and Adam Davey, "Gender-related
Predictors of Change in Marital Satisfaction and Marital Conflict," American Journal of
Family Therapy 33, no. 1 (2005): 66.
54Ibid.,
73.
55Ibid.
56The
thirteen items related to measures of religiosity are Devotionalism,
Church Attendance, Organizational Church Activity, Salience, Extrinsic Religious
24
They found that for the participants in their study a greater reported level of happiness,
marital adjustment, and marital satisfaction was correlated to positive views of religion
and attendance at religious events.
C*7
Defining Religiosity
An indication of the complexity of defining religiosity is found in a study by
Dudley and Kosinski, studying the effects of religiosity on marital satisfaction, they
considered, as a part of religiosity, the spouses' church attendance, offerings, and
CO
religious experience identified as feeling close to God.
Participation in rituals or other
religious ceremonies was used as an operationalized definition of religiosity by Ahmadi
and Hossein-abadi studying the effects of religiosity upon marital satisfaction and child
rearing among Muslim couples.59
Further evidence of the complex nature of defining religiosity is observed in
Wolfinger and Wilcox's study of urban families. Their research gave attention to the
influence of religiosity, defining it as church attendance.60 As has been seen in the
Motivation, Tolerance of Others (Minorities), Purpose in Life, Intolerance of Ambiguity,
Creedal Assent, Financial Support of the Church, Orientation to Growth and Striving, and
Religious Agreement. Hunt and King, "Religiosity and Marriage," Journal for the
Scientific Study of Religion 17, no. 4 (1978): 401.
57Ibid„
404.
58Dudley
and Kosinski, Jr., "Religiosity and Marital Satisfaction: A Research
Note," 81.
59Ahmadi
and Hossein-abadi, "Religiosity, Marital Satisfaction and Child
Rearing," 211.
60They
found that the influence of men who regularly attend church services
results in higher levels of mutually reported marital satisfaction but that a wives'
attendance did not have the same effect. Nicholas H. Wolfinger and W. Bradford
25
literature, religiosity has been operationally defined by several researchers as religious
beliefs and behaviors that are part of an individual's behavioral patterns.61 While a
common and acceptable definition has not been developed that is accepted there are
measures that are used in empirical research to help bring clarity to what makes up an
individual's religious system.
Empirical Measures of Religiosity
Defining a religious and theological framework from which to conduct
research is the first challenge the researcher faces. The challenge with developing and
using spiritual measures is that people's religious beliefs are so different there is a need
for multiple tests and measures. Therefore, it is suggested that testing of spiritual
development has different approaches in different cases.62 An example of creating a
religious scale is offered by Thayer who used the experiential learning theory of Kolb to
develop basic spiritual modes resulting in four scores indicating the extent to which the
Wilcox, "Happily Ever After? Religion, Marital Status, Gender and Relationship Quality
in Urban Families," Social Forces 86, no. 3 (2008): 1312-1315.
61Sullivan,
"Understanding the Relationship Between Religiosity and
Marriage: An Investigation of the Immediate and Longitudinal Effects of Religiosity on
Newlywed Couples," 610-626; Oranthinkal and Cansteenwegen, "Religiosity and Marital
Satisfaction," 497-504; Ahmadi, Azad-Marzabadi, and Ashrafi, "The Influence of
Religiosity on Marital Satisfaction," 103-110; Daniel T. Lichter and Julie H. Carmalt,
"Religion and Marital Quality among Low-income Couples," Social Science 38, no. 1
(2009): 168-187; and Emry Williams, Leslie Francis, and Andrew Village, "Marriage,
Religion, and Human Flourishing: How Sustainable is the Classic Durkheim Thesis in
Contemporary Europe?" Mental Health, Religion and Culture 13, no. 1 (2010): 93-104.
62Elisabeth
Hense, "Reflection on Conceptual Definition and Empirical
Validation of the Spiritual Sensitivity Scale," JET 1, no. 1 (2006): 69.
26
participants use four spiritual development modes.63
The Hunt and King study showed religiosity is a significant positive predictor
of marital satisfaction when measured using six variables representing intentional
commitment.64 Another example of the differences in measures of religiosity is
Rohrbaugh and lessor who developed an 8-item measurement of religiosity to capture
dimensions including ritual, consequence, and experience.
Idler et al., developed the
Brief Multidimensional Measure of Religiosity/Spirituality, used predominantly for
Christian participants, which measures private religious practices, commitment, and
organizational religiousness.66
63The
four spiritual development modes are Transcendent Scale (growing
through a relationship with God), Vision Scale (growing through the Word), Reflection
Scale (growing through critical reflection), and New Life Scale (growing through
relationships with others). O. Jane Thayer, "Constructing a Spiritual Measure based on
Learning Theory: The Christian Spiritual Participation Profile," Journal of Psychology
and Christianity 23, no. 3 (2004): 204.
^The six variables that are significant at p < .05 are organizational activity,
extrinsic religious motivation, tolerance of others, creedal assent, orientation to growth
and striving, and religious agreement. Hunt and King, "Religiosity and Marriage," 402403.
65The
scale developed by these researchers was in response to their belief that
their previous measure lacked a systematic covering of religious involvement. The 4item scale was operationalized into two-item subscales resulting in an eight-item
measure. The 4 item scale includes attendance at religious services, consequential
religiousness (defined as utilizing religious advice or teaching when in the midst of
crisis), ideological religious beliefs (ranging on a belief scale from full belief to total nonbelief), and experiential religiosity. John Rohrbaugh and Richard Jessor, "Religiosity in
Youth: A Personal Control against Deviant Behavior," Journal of Personality 43, no. 1
(March 1975): 136-155.
^E. M. Idler, C. Musick, L. Ellison, N. George, N. Krause, M. Levin, K. Ory,
L. Pargement, D. Powell, Williams, & L. Underwood, "Multidimensional Measurement
of Religiousness/Spirituality for use in Health Research" (a report of the Fetzer
Institute/National Institute on Aging Working Group, Kalamazoo, MI 1999).
27
Booth et al., conducted a 4 year longitudinal study examining marital
satisfaction, defined as level of happiness in the relationship between the two spouses,
and religiosity which the researchers considered as consisting of self-rated importance of
religion, frequency of bible reading, prayer, participation in religious social activities, and
attendance at religious services.
f*J
Their research showed that fewer thoughts of divorce,
due to religious involvement versus those couples who did not demonstrate more
religious behavior, occurred during the first year of the study. Also behaviors toward
divorce were also less in the fourth year suggesting that higher levels in religiosity appear
/o
to marginally decrease the probability of divorce being considered by a couple
Their
research conclusions also note the connection between religion and marital satisfaction is
"both reciprocal and weak."69
Support for Booth, et al's., finding is found in a study by Wolfinger and
Wilcox who report that religion influences reports of marital satisfaction by decreasing
harmful behaviors and promoting a greater investment by each spouse in the
relationship.70 Supporting this belief is Wilcox and Nock who note that as churches teach
life long fidelity as foundational to marriage, this long-term view increases the likelihood
of couples viewing marriage as a covenant institution rather than a short-term contractual
67Alan
Booth, David R. Johnson, Ann Branaman, and Alan Sica, "Belief and
Behavior: Does Religion Matter in Today's Marriage?" Journal of Marriage and Family
57 (1995): 668.
68Ibid.,
669.
69Ibid.
70Wolfinger
and Wilcox, "Happily Ever After? Religion, Marital Status,
Gender and Relationship Quality in Urban Families," 1312.
agreement.71
There are a number of articles incorporating measures of spiritual disciplines.72
Spirituality is viewed as an individual response to a faith experience therefore measurable
empirical evidence is challenging. Within the Christian tradition, spiritual disciplines
arise out of spiritual formation which answers the very specific question of humanity:
what kind of person am I going to be?
Mahoney, et al., in their meta-analysis study wrote that prior research has not
been done to demonstrate how specific religious beliefs, besides prayer and general
religiosity, contribute to marital or parental functioning.74 Studies that have examined
religiosity have defined this construct as a subject's general belief that religion includes
church attendance, emotional feelings toward God, and general beliefs.75 Therefore
71W.
Bradford Wilcox and Steven L. Nock, "What's Love Got to Do with It?
Equality, Equity, Commitment, and Women's Marital Quality," Social Forces 84, no. 3
(2006): 1324.
72Everett
L. Worthington, Jr., "The Marriage Relationship During the
Transition to Parenthood: A Review and a Model," Journal of Family Issues 7, no. 4
(1986): 443-473; Robert D. Enright and Catherine T. Coyle, "Forgiveness Intervention
with Post-abortion Men," Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology 65, no. 6
(1997): 1042-1046; Sandra Murray, Gina Bellavia, John G. Holmes, Dale W. Griffin, and
Dan Dolderman, "Kindred Spirits? The Benefits of Egocentrism in Close Personal
Relationships," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 82, no. 4 (2002): 563-581;
and Orathinkal and Vansteenwegen, "The Effect of Forgiveness on Marital Satisfaction
in Relation to Marital Stability," 251-260.
73Dallas
Willard, "The Making of the Christian," Christianity Today, 10
October 2005,42.
74Mahoney
et al., "Religion in the Home in the 1980s and 1990s: A MetaAnalytic Review and Conceptual Analysis of Links Between Religion, Marriage, and
Parenting," 95.
75Jose
A Orathinkal and Alfons Vansteenwegan, "Religiosity and Marital
Satisfaction," Contemporary Family Therapy 28, (2006): 497-504; Adam Fox and Trang
29
studies focusing upon Christian spiritual disciplines may provide for greater clarity
regarding the influence of spiritual disciplines.
Spiritual Disciplines
Much of the literature regarding spiritual formation explores scriptural
evidences for a relationship with God. Growth in religious dimensions is a rising and
falling process towards ultimate human fulfillment in the "Omega-point" God.76 Foster,
writing on spiritual disciplines, argues that the disciplines are a necessary process for all
believers to journey through to develop a more mature relationship in Jesus Christ.77 He
believes that spiritual formation through the disciplines of prayer, forgiveness,
meditation, bible study, worship, and service among others is possible for the Christian to
engage in.78 Two years later A. Roger Gobbell appeared to question the views of Foster
when he wrote, concerning the ambiguity of defining spiritual formation, that seeking to
understand the nature of spiritual formation is a bothersome, frustrating, and bewildering
effort leading to blind alleys in search of an elusive and vague hoped-for result.79
A dialectic tension has been suggested by Speck regarding defining the
Thomas, "Impact of Religious Affiliation and Religiosity on Forgiveness," Australian
Psychologist 43, no. 3 (September, 2008): 175-185; and Michael E. McCullough and
Everett L. Worthington, "Religion and the Forgiving Personality," Journal of Personality
67, no.6 (December, 1999): 1141-1164.
76Michael
E. Imediedu, Personal Growth through Prayer and the Sacraments,
African Ecclesial Review 35, no. 6 (1993): 363.
77Foster,
78Ibid.,
Celebration of the Disciplines, Foreword.
1-9.
79A. Roger
no. 4 (1980): 409.
Gobbell, "On Constructing Spirituality," Religious Education 75,
30
development or formation of spirituality. He notes three concerns in developing a
foundational definition citing questions which must be answered if there is to be a
consensus among scholars.80 Speck is correct in suggesting a dilemma exists because of
two differing world views. A naturalistic world view considers the issue of spiritual
disciplines to be an inward experience toward a subjective, inner-peace. The super­
natural view is expounded by Georges Levasseur who suggests the futility of a
naturalistic paradigm writing succinctly, "Therefore, any form of purely introspective
QI
spirituality is insufficient: it leads to self-concern rather than self-dedication."
Spiritual
disciplines need to be studied to determine their relationship upon marital satisfaction
among Christian couples. Two spiritual disciplines for which research calls for
additional study are prayer and forgiveness.82
80Speck
suggests three questions need answering: What exists?; Who or what
is in charge?; and What is the purpose of existence? He considers two competing worldview paradigms - naturalistic and supernaturalistic - concluding that a common
definition is not likely. Bruce W. Speck, "What is Spirituality?" New Directions for
Teaching and Learning 104 (2005): 9-12.
81Reverend
Georges Levasseur, "Spiritual Formation in the Confraternity of
Christian Doctrine," Religious Education 55 (1950): 203.
82Additional
studies on prayer and forgiveness have been called for by several
researchers; Prayer: Mahoney, et al., "Religion in the Home in the 1980s and 1990s: A
Meta-Analytic Review and Conceptual Analysis of Links Between Religion, Marriage,
and Parenting," 95-96; Gunner, "The Correlation of Private, Religious Devotional
Practices and Marital Adjustment," 57; Brian D. Majerus and Steven J. Sandage,
"Differentiation of Self and Christian Spiritual Maturity: Social Science and Theological
Integration," Journal of Psychology and Theology 38, no. 1 (2010): 48-49; Goodman and
Dollahite, "How Religious Couples Perceive the Influence of God in their Marriage,"
153-154; McMinn, et al., "Forgiveness and Prayer," 107-108; Michael J. Breslin and
Christopher Alan Lewis, "Theoretical Models of the Nature of Prayer and Health: A
Review," Mental Health, Religion and Culture 11, no. 1 (2008): 19; Janice Driver and
John M. Gottman, "Daily Marital Interactions and Positive Affect During Marital
Conflict among Newlywed Couples," Family Process 43, no. 3 (2004): 311-313; and Fox
and Thomas, "Impact of Religious Affiliation and Religiosity on Forgiveness," 183.
31
Prayer
Mahoney, et al., call for research beyond general religiosity by examining
variables that will underscore the "unique" contribution that substantively religious
beliefs have upon family functioning.83 Another study by Fincham, Beach, Stillman, and
Braithwaite notes that the study of spiritual prayer is called for as a possible predictor of
the longitudinal course of relationships.84 Maltby, Lewis, and Day called for more
research on prayer noting
..future research should seek to expand on the present
cognitive-behavioral model and compare these prayer measures against other theoretical
domains of mental-health, such as psychological well-being."85
Psychological Perspective on Prayer
Prayer is a powerful spiritual discipline. According to William James prayer
is,".. .the very soul and essence of religion."86 It has been the subject of much empirical
study in psychology and written about theologically as to its efficacy in relationships as a
spiritual discipline. One study examined the link between prayer and psychological well-
83Annette
Mahoney, Kenneth I. Pargament, Aaron Murray-Swank, and Nichole
Murray-Swank, "Religion and the Sanctification of Family Relationships," Review of
Religious Research 44, no. 3 (2003): 233.
84Frank
D. Fincham, Steven R. H. Beach, N. Lambert, T. Stillman, and S.
Braithwaite, "Spiritual Behaviors and Relationship Satisfaction: A Critical Analysis of
the Role of Prayer," Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology 27, no. 4 (2008): 385
85John
Maltby, Christopher Alan Lewis, and Liza Day, "Prayer and Subjective
Well-being: The Application of a Cognitive-behavioral Framework," Mental Health,
Religion and Culture 11, no. 1 (2008): 127-129
86William
James, Varieties of Religious Experience (New York: Modern
Library, 1994/1902), 505.
32
being.87 Francis, Robbins, Lewis and Barnes also found a correlation between prayer and
health.88 Using the Revised Eysenck Personality Questionnaire to assess for
extroversion, neuroticism, psychoticism, and lying, these researchers concluded prayer
leads to fewer precursors to psychoticism, but that among the Catholic youth who
participated in the study, prayer led to higher incidents of precursors to neuroticism.89
Studies on prayer have served to challenge the earliest works on prayer and social science
conducted by Sir Francis Galton.90 Ladd and Mcintosh acknowledge the influence of
prayer in their study by stating that those who have a collaborative relationship with God
experience improved physical health.91 Supporting these studies is the work of Maltby,
et al. who examined prayer and subjective well being. Their work extended the research
by looking at the efficacy of prayer and mental and physical health using conceptual
measurement and theoretical variables rather than single item measures that focused upon
87Sarah
Banzinger, Marinus van Uden, and Jacques Janssen, "Praying and
Coping: The Relation between Varieties of Praying and Religious Coping Styles," Mental
Health, Religion and Culture 11, no. 1 (2008): 101-118.
88Leslie
J. Francis, Mandy Robbins, Christopher Alan Lewis, and Philip L.
Barnes, "Prayer and Psychological Health: A Study among Sixth-grade Pupils Attending
Catholic and Protestant Schools in Northern Ireland," Mental Health, Religion and
Culture 11, no. 1 (2008): 85-92.
89Ibid.,
89.
^Galton concluded in pioneering research that there was no efficacy regarding
prayer and social science. Francis Galton, "Statistical Inquiries into the Efficacy of
Prayer," Fortnightly Review 12 (1872): 125-135, in Christopher Alan Lewis, Michael J.
Breslin, and Simon Dein, "Prayer and Mental Health: An Introduction to this Special
Issue of Mental Health, Religion and Culture," Mental Health, Religion and Culture 11,
no. 1 (2008): 1.
9IKevin
L. Ladd and Daniel N. Mcintosh, "Meaning, God, and Prayer.
Physical and Metaphysical Aspects of Social Support," Mental Health, Religion and
Culture 11, no. 1 (2008): 23-38.
33
Q-}
coping skills.
Prayer is included in many studies that look at a number of behaviors. A study
by Butler, Stout, and Gardner considered the effects of prayer as a part of conflict
resolution.
They studied 217 married couples who had been married at least 7 years at
the time of the study and had a routine practice of prayer as determined by the researchers
using demographic data. The sample consisted of couples from Mormon, Protestant, and
Catholic religious backgrounds. They found that these couples reported statistically
significant effects of prayer upon conflict resolution, with prayer decreasing negativity,
contempt, and hostility toward their spouse.94
Everett L. Worthington, Jr. is a leading researcher in the field of Christian
psychology. His research suggests that the use of prayer in couple's relationship must
take into consideration a couple's motivation for prayer:
"The finding that people pray when they have marital problems does not imply that
prayer can be used as an intervention. People do not necessarily pray in the midst of
marital arguments or conflict. But clients who pray regularly tend not to think of
the psychological advantages of prayer. Rather, they think of the spiritual
advantages of prayer.95
92Maltby,
et al., "Prayer and Subjective Well-being: The Application of a
Cognitive-Behavioral Framework," 120.
Q-n
Butler, Stout, and Gardner, "Prayer as Conflict Resolution Ritual: Clinical
Implications for Religious Couples' Report of Relationship Softening, Healing,
Perspective, and Change Responsibility," 25.
94The
researchers report couples; 1) felt an interactional experience with or
toward "Diety" (this is the term used by the researchers in the study) (t = 26.64, p =
.000); 2) an accountability toward Diety (t = 30.05, p = 000); 3) decreased negativity,
contempt, and hostility (t =19.81,/?= 000); 4) and increase in self-change rather than
focusing upon partner-change (/ = 28.40,p = .000). Ibid., 30.
95Everett
L. Worthington, Jr., "Prayer and Marital Intervention: Can it be Long
and Strong Enough to Matter?" Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology 27, no. 7
34
It appears, by this research, that Worthington is not supportive of prayer as a specific
intervention to be used in a clinical session with a couple, but nevertheless is a significant
activity a couple should engage in when dealing with marital conflict.
Challenging this position is Sullivan and Karney who argue that a bridging of
the gap between a couple's spirituality or religious beliefs and psychological intervention
must be acknowledged.96 The significance of bridging this gap is recognized in the lack
of empirical research in working toward the development of a theoretical framework.
Empirical Studies on Prayer
Wolfinger and Wilcox note that sacredness (inclusive of prayer) and
permanence in the marital relationship increase a couple's view of marriage as an
invested relationship thereby reducing expectations of immediate gratification and foster
higher rates of marital satisfaction.97 A recent study looked specifically at prayer and
marital satisfaction. Controlling for socially desirable responding, Fincham, et al.,
explored the temporal relation of prayer and marital satisfaction.
QO
The researchers used
a two item measure to have participant couples indicate frequency each prayed for well
being and good things for their partner. A five point Likert scale was used to indicate the
(2008): 688-689.
96Kieran
T. Sullivan and Benjamin R. Karney, "Incorporating Religious
Practice in Marital Interventions: To Pray or Not to Pray?" Journal of Social and Clinical
Psychology 27, no. 7 (2008): 670-671.
97Wolfinger
and Wilcox, "Happily Ever After? Religion, Marital Status,
Gender and Relationship Quality in Urban Families," 1332.
98Fincham,
et al., "Spiritual Behaviors and Relationship Satisfaction: A Critical
Analysis of the Role of Prayer," 368.
35
frequency. The measure for marital satisfaction was a 4 item measure of relationship
satisfaction. A social desirability measure was used to control for socially desirable
responses by participants. It was a 13 item scale adapted from the Reynolds short form
00
of the Marlowe-Crowne Social Desirability scale.
Their results indicated that prayer for
a spouse is related to later marital satisfaction; it is the level of perceived marital
satisfaction that leads to greater frequency of prayer.100
Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a concept researchers have been studying for many years.
Recent trends in research, dating back to studies by two of the more prominent
researchers in the field of forgiveness study, McCullough and Worthington, demonstrate
the dual nature of forgiveness.101 These researchers identified the dualistic nature as a
psychological construct or "social-psychological phenomenon,"102 and also a spiritual,
transcendent construct difficult to define.103 McCullough and Worthington suggest that
forgiveness is a construct to be studied, examined, and researched dispassionately, but is
also transcendent; a topic of philosophical and theological inquiry which brings to the
mind mental images of religious buildings, or experiences of religious thoughts, and
"Reynolds, "Development of Reliable and Short Forms of the MarloweCrowne Social Desirability Scale," 119-125.
100Fincham,
et al., "Spiritual Behaviors and Relationship Satisfaction: A
Critical Analysis of the Role of Prayer," 371.
101Michael
E. McCullough and Everett L. Worthington, Jr., "Religion and the
Forgiving PersonalityJournal of Personality 67, no. 6 (1999): 1141-1161.
102Ibid.,
1141.
103Ibid.,
1142.
36
confessions before God.104
Models of Forgiveness
Lawler-Row, et al., addressed the issue of defining forgiveness recognizing
that a comprehensive definition would require bringing together the disciplines of
philosophy, theology, and psychology.105 Worthington, in answering the question of
definition in his publication on forgiveness, found two overarching definitions.106
Studies that support Worthington's observation have looked at forgiveness theories
within interpersonal and intrapersonal theory.
McCullough looked at an evolutionary-based model in his study of motivations
107
to forgive an offender.
An interdependence-based model was suggested by Rusbult
and Van Lange who makes the argument that specific situations call for specific motives
relating this to forgiveness of offenses.
10ft
Intrapersonal theories have yielded several
104A
social-psychological perspective of forgiveness allows the researcher to
explore people's motivation, variation, and expectations of forgiving some but not others.
Ibid.
105Kathleen
A. Lawler-Row, Cynthia A. Scott, Rachel L. Raines, Meirac EdlisMatityahou, and Erin W. Moore, "The Varieties of Forgiveness Experience: Working
toward a Comprehensive Definition of Forgiveness," Journal of Religion and Health 46,
no. 2 (2006): 234.
106Worthington
concluded that forgiveness is an individual or intrapersonal
experience and an interpersonal process. Everett L. Worthington, Jr., Handbook of
Forgiveness (New York: Brunner-Routledge Press, 2005).
,07McCullough
took several personality correlates and reduced them into an
examination of two higher order constructs related to motivation to forgive:
agreeableness and emotional stability. Michael E. McCullough, "Forgiveness: Who Does
It and How do They do It?" Current Directions in Psychological Science 10, no. 6
(2001): 195.
108Caryl
E. Rusbult and Paul A. M. Van Lange, "Interdependence, Interaction,
models that address motivation to forgive. This line of research considers context and
discussion with regard to transgressions as important in relationships but not necessarily
in forgiveness. For example, DiBlasio, working with intergenerational conflicts among
family members, defined forgiveness from a cognitive perspective with the goal of
expediting the process of forgiveness.
i no
More recently research has looked at models
inclusive of emphasis of time in the change process,110 attribution,111 and stress and
coping.
Psychology tends to explore the intrapersonal aspects of forgiveness over
against the interpersonal processes, which are left to the theologians and philosophers.
Lawler-Row et al., found in a study of 270 young adults, 45.6% of participants coded
responses on forgiveness as intrapersonal, while 31.1% coded responses as interpersonal,
and 20.4% coded responses as both intra-and interpersonal.
1I -5
and Relationships," Annual Review of Psychology 54 (2003): 352-353.
1 ftQ
Fredrick A. DiBlasio, "The Use of Decision-based Forgiveness Intervention
within Intergenerational Therapy," Journal of Family Therapy 20, (1998): 78.
110Jo-Ann
Tsang, Michael E. McCullough, and Frank D. Fincham, "The
Longitudinal Association between Forgiveness and Relationship Closeness and
Commitment," Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology 25, no. 4 (2006): 453.
luLorig
K. Kachadourian, Frank D. Fincham, and Joanne Davila, "The
Tendency to Forgive in Dating and Married Couples: The Role of Attachment and
Relationship Satisfaction," Personal Relationships 11 (2004): 375.
WJ
Everett L. Worthington, Jr., Forgiveness and Reconciliation: Theory and
Application (New York: Routledge, 2006).
113Their
conclusions indicated that forgiveness has at lest two dimensions
(intra- and interpersonal) and two levels. Further, they found that forgiveness involves
both reduction of negative responses and increase of positive responses. One interesting
finding was in gender action regarding forgiveness; "First of all, men had greater
forgiveness scores than women and men more frequently defined forgiveness as a passive
letting go response, while women more frequently defined forgiveness as an active
response." Lawler-Row, et al., "The Varieties of Forgiveness Experience: Working
38
The majority of researchers define forgiveness as a decrease in negative
feelings and an increase in positive well-being toward transgressors.114 Research by
Maskil and further research by Stanley et al., synthesize this definition in their respective
articles by defining forgiveness as the release of punishing the offender including ill
feelings.115 Worthington, a leading researcher in the field of forgiveness, believes
forgiveness must consist of three actions specific to occurrence: ending the personal right
to punish an offender, initiate positive emotions toward the offender, and generate
positive behaviors including mercy and reconciliation.116
toward a Comprehensive Definition of Forgiveness," 240-247.
114Everett
L. Jr. Worthington, Forgiveness and Reconciliation: Theory and
Application (New York, NY: Routledge), 3; David Stoop, "Forgiveness: Getting Beyond
Your Past and Pain (Forest, VA: AACC, 2000), videocassette; Grudem, Systematic
Theology, 386; Mark S. Rye, et al., "Religious Perspectives on Forgiveness," in
Forgiveness: Theory, Research, and Practice, ed. Michael E. McCullough, Kenneth I.
Pargament and Carl E. Thoresen (New York, NY: The Guilford Press, 2000), 20-36; Ann
Macaskill, "Defining Forgiveness: Christian Clergy and General Population
Perspectives," Journal of Personality (Blackwell Publishing) 73, no. 5 (October 2005),
1262; Terry D. Hargrave, Janey Froeschle, and Yvette Castillo, "Forgiveness and
Spirituality," in Spiritual Resources in Family Therapy, 2nd edition, ed. Froma Walsh,
305; Michael E. McCullough, Kenneth I. Pargament and Carl E. Thoresen, "The
Psychology of Forgiveness: History, Conceptual Issues, and Overview," in Forgiveness:
Theory, Research, and Practice, ed. Michael E. McCullough, Kenneth I. Pargament and
Carl E. Thoresen, 319 (New York, NY: The Guilford Press, 2000), 8; Robert D. Enright
and Richard P. Fitzgibbons, Helping Clients Forgive, 260; and Mark R. McMinn and
Timothy R. Phillips, "When The Wounding Runs Deep," in Care For The Soul:
Exploring the Intersection of Psychology and Theology, ed. Mark R. McMinn and
Timothy R. Phillips (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2001), 304.
U5Macaskill,
"Defining Forgiveness," 1262; and Scott Stanley, Daniel Trathan,
Savanna McCain and Milt Bryan, A Lasting Promise: A Christian Guide to Fighting for
Your Marriage (San Francisco, CA: Jossey:Bass, 1998), 203.
116Everett
L. Worthington, "The Psychology of Forgiveness: History,
Conceptual Issues, and Overview," in Forgiveness: Theory, Research, and Practice, ed.
Michael E. McCullough (New York: The Guilford Press, 2000), 303.
39
Worthington developed a model of forgiveness he has labeled REACH (Recall
the hurt, Empathize with the one who committed the hurt, offer the Altruistic gift of
forgiveness, make a Commitment to forgive, and Hold onto forgiveness).117 Worthington
notes that his model is not suggestive of a five step easy solution to the matter of
forgiveness,118 himself having had to journey through the difficult waters of forgiveness
after the murder of his mother. As Worthington himself has experienced, and observed in
his studies on forgiveness using the REACH model,
Forgiveness does benefit us. But if we forgive mainly to get, we get just a trickle of
benefits. If we give a gift of forgiveness to a needy perpetrator, though, we receive
freedom, peace, health, and relational repair. Forgiveness gushes like water from a
firehose. It washes us clean. It frees us.119
McMinn et al., studied forgiveness and prayer and discovered that inward
prayer, defined as focusing on "personal transformation through conversation with
God"120 had, when reported qualitatively by participants of the study, similar descriptors
of Worthington's empathy step in the REACH model.
1^1
This would seem to suggest that
the combination of prayer and forgiveness has implications for relationships when there
117Everett
L. Worthington, Jr., The Pyramid Model of Forgiveness: Some
Interdisciplinary Speculations about Unforgiveness and the Promotion of Forgiveness, in
Dimensions of Forgiveness: Psychological Research and Theological Forgiveness, ed.
Everett L. Worthington, Jr. (Philadelphia, PA: Templeton Foundation Press, 1998), 107138.
I I S
Everett L. Worthington, Jr., Forgiving and Reconciling: Bridges to
Wholeness and Hope (Downers Grove, IL: Intervarsity Press, 2003), 15.
I19lbid.,
26.
120Mark
R. McMinn, et al., "Forgiveness and Prayer," 103.
1<)I
Participants indicated how inward narrative prayer led them to a better
understanding of their own need for forgiveness when they make mistakes and therefore
allowed for more empathy toward an offender in their life. Ibid., 105.
40
are offenses committed.
This dissertation research will define forgiveness in terms of an interpersonal
model referring to the level of motivation to forgive, as defined in the TRIM-12 measure
of forgiveness.122 The current trends in research are to continue to study forgiveness
from a psychological perspective while increasing the consideration of religious
influences.
Psychological Studies on Forgiveness
Forgiveness, one of many Christian constructs, has been the focus of much
research and interventions within both secular and Christian communities.123 One study
examined forgiveness and its association to marital quality, finding that both variables are
related to each other both in cross-sectional and longitudinal studies.124 Worthington,
122Michael
E. McCullough, K. Chris Rachal, Steven J. Sandage, Everett L.
Worthington, Jr., Susan Wade Brown, and Terry L. Hight, "Interpersonal Forgiving in
Close Relationships, II: Theoretical Elaboration and Measurement," Journal of
Personality and Social Psychology 75, no. 6 (1998): 1593.
123Frank
Fincham and Steven R. H. Beach, "Forgiveness and Marital Quality:
Precursor or Consequence in Well-established Relationships," The Journal of Positive
Psychology 2, no. 4 (2007): 260-268; and several studies are cited referencing
forgiveness as a positive construct in physical health - Alex H.S. Harris and Care E.
Thoresen, "Extending the Influence of Positive Psychology Interventions into Health
Care Settings: Lessons from Self-efficacy and Forgiveness," The Journal of Positive
Psychology 1, no. 1 (2005): 27-36; Everett L. Worthington, Jr. and Michael Scherer,
"Forgiveness is an Emotion-focused Coping Strategy that can Reduce Health Risks and
Promote Health Resilience: Theory, Review, and Hypotheses," Psychology and Health
19, no. 3 (2004): 385-405; mental health - Loren Toussaint and Jon R. Webb, "Gender
Differences in the Relationship between Empathy and Forgiveness," The Journal of
Social Psychology 45, no. 6 (2005): 673-685; and life satisfaction - Johan C. Karremans,
Paul A.M. Van Lange, Jaap W. Ouwerkerk, and Esther S. Kluwer, "When Forgiving
Enhances Psychological Well-being: The Role of Interpersonal Commitment," Journal of
Personality and Social Psychology 84, no. 5 (2003): 1011-1026.
124Fincham
and Beach, "Forgiveness and Marital Quality: Precursor or
41
whose work in developing hope-focused therapy, using forgiveness as the central tenet to
the therapeutic process, has produced positive outcomes.
Worthington describes the
content of hope as maintaining a positive motivation to change (i.e. willpower), a variety
of pathways to change (i.e. waypower), and perseverance (i.e. waitpower).
Worthington indicates that family systems are in need of forgiveness interventions for
three reasons: a long history of hurts and offenses; having a future in which hurts and
offenses are likely to occur; and a continual interaction face to face which will likely
entail new hurts and offenses."127
A study conducted by Ripley and Worthington hypothesized that participants
in a hope-focused marital enrichment group and participants in an empathy-centered
forgiveness marital enrichment group would both experience increased dyadic
satisfaction relative to a wait-list control group.128 Their findings confirmed the
hypothesis as participants of both groups experienced greater positive communication
than the control group.129 This, from a family systems viewpoint, would offer
Consequence in Well-established Relationships," 263-64.
125Everett
L. Worthington, Jr., Jennifer S. Ripley, Joshua N. hook, and Andrea
J. Miller, "The Hope-focused Approach to Couple Therapy and Enrichment," Journal of
Psychology and Christianity 26, no. 2 (2007): 133-134.
126Everett
L. Worthington, "Hope-Focused Marriage: Recommendations for
Researchers, Clinicians, and Church Workers," Journal of Psychology and Theology 31
(2003): 231.
l27Jennifer
S. Ripley and Everett L. Worthington, "Hope-focused and
Forgiveness-based Group Interventions to Promote Marital Enrichment," Journal of
Counseling and Development, 80 (2002): 454.
128Ibid.,
456.
l29Ibid.,
459.
42
encouraging hope in helping couples disengage from triangulated relationships and
reduce the likelihood of emotional cutoff by helping improve couples communication
through the giving and receiving of forgiveness; allowing God to transcend and transform
the marriage relationship.
An example of forgiveness being considered from a strictly psychological
viewpoint was conducted by Kamat, Jones, and Row who studied state, trait, and
dispositional forgiveness.
i in
Further studies of psychological constructs include
Karremans and Van Lang who found individuals who are more willing to forgive are able
to experience social benefits including increased social support, relational closeness and
111
cooperation following a transgression. These same researchers, along with Ouwerkerk
and Kluwer researched psychological well-being as it related to forgiveness and found
that a "psychological tension" can result from failure to forgive in a benevolent
manner.
1
Over the past couple of decades forgiveness has become a legitimate topic of
research in the social sciences.
Psychological studies on forgiveness have considered the risks associated with
the act of forgiveness. McCullough has made the point that forgiveness is "intra-
130They
define "State Forgiveness" as forgiving a specific offender for a
specific offense; Trait Forgiveness" is defined as a person's general tendency to forgive
offenses across a spectrum of issues or situations; and Dispositional Forgiveness" defined
as readiness to forgive others when offended by an interpersonal offense. Vidhya I
Kamat, Warren H. Jones, and Kathleen L. Row, "Assessing Forgiveness as a Dimension
of Personality," Individual Differences Research 4, no. 5 (2006): 323.
,31Johan
C. Karremans and Paul A. M. Van Lange, "Back to Caring After
Being Hurt: The Role of Forgiveness," European Journal of Social Psychology, 34
(2004): 221-222.
132Karremans,
et al., "When Forgiving Enhances Psychological Well-being:
The Role of Interpersonal Commitment," 1023.
43
personal" and as such is a psychological construct found in social system concepts which
defines forgiveness as bringing peace out of chaos, labeling this reconciliation.133
"Men forget but never forgive; women forgive but never forget."134 This
anonymous quote suggests that men do not have the capacity to forgive. Miller,
Worthington, and Daniel conducted a meta-analytical review of forgiveness looking
specifically at gender.135 A gender difference, with females being more forgiving than
males, was found, although at a moderate effect size (d =.28 / r- .14).
1
These
researchers note that of nine moderators studied, only vengeance was found to be
significant (d = .83).137
Another researcher who investigated forgiveness as a construct in marital
therapy is DiBlasio. His study, conducted with 44 participant couples sought to
determine if an intervention facilitating forgiveness could increase marital satisfaction
and decrease depressive affect within a three-hour session.
1 "Ifi
The session entailed a five
1
Andrew B. Newberg, Eugene G. d'Aquili, Stephanie K. Newberg, and
Verushka deMarici, "The Neuropsychological Correlates of Forgiveness," in
Forgiveness: Theory, Research, and Practice, eds. Michael E. McCullough, Kenneth I.
Pargament, and Carl E. Thoresen, 97. (New York: The Guilford Press, 2000).
134"Forgiveness
and Relationship Quotes," [online] accessed August 5, 2010;
available from http://thinkexist.com/quotation/men forget but never forgivewomen forgive but/9819.html: Internet.
135Andrea
J. Miller, Everett L. Worthington, Jr., and Michael A. McDaniel,
"Gender and Forgiveness: A Meta-analytic Review and Research Agenda," Journal of
Social and Clinical Psychology 27, no. 8 (2008): 843-876.
I36Ibid.,
863.
137Ibid.,
864.
138Frederick
A. DiBlasio and Brent B. Benda, "Forgiveness Intervention with
Married Couples: Two Empirical Analyses," Journal of Psychology and Christianity 27
step process for each spouse to go through when seeking forgiveness; 1) acknowledge
their own hurtful behaviors, 2) provide the other spouse with insight as to their offensive
behavior, 3) receive the emotional hurt they caused their spouse, 4) design a plan to
eliminate the offensive behavior, and 5) seek forgiveness.
1 "JO
The results indicate that
among couples who were able to offer and receive forgiveness, significant positive
change occurred over time as compared to the control group whose scores on measures
were four times lower.140
In this dissertation the intention is to study the predictability of prayer and
forgiveness on marital satisfaction. Everett Worthington found that prayer is beneficial
for couples who have a history of praying as a part of their religious faith.141 Beach, et al.
have defined prayer as:
A spiritual activity that appears to be omnipresent in religious life is prayer.
Prayer is a spiritual activity common to all the 'Abrahamic' traditions (i.e.,
Judaism, Christianity, and Islam) and one that has strong parallels in other
religious traditions (e.g., Buddhism, Hinduism, Shinto).4
(2008): 151.
139Ibid.,
151.
140A
second study conducted by DiBlasio and Benda further demonstrated that
among Christian couples there was a significant increase in their levels of forgiveness,
marital satisfaction, and contentment. The authors of the study suggest a contributing
factor could be the couple's strong Christian belief regarding Christ's sacrifice for the
forgiveness of sin elevates in their life interpersonal forgiveness as a priority in the
relationship. Ibid., 154.
141Everett
L. Worthington, Jr., "Prayer and Marital Intervention: Can it be
Long and Strong Enough to Matter?" 690.
142Steven
R. H. Beach, Frank D. Fincham, Tera R. Hunt, Lily M. McNair, and
Scott M. Stanley, "Prayer and Marital Intervention: A Conceptual Framework," Journal
of Social and Clinical Psychology 27, no. 7 (2008): 641-669.
45
A study by Fincham et al., explored if prayers of well being offered by each
partner predicts forgiveness.143 The hypothesis was supported in their findings in that
petitionary prayer did relate positively to a spouse's willingness to forgive their
partner.144 Their research indicates a relationship exists with prayer and marital
satisfaction, and prayer and forgiveness. Current research calls for additional studies on
forgiveness.145
The field of psychology has tended to separate forgiveness into religious
interventions and secular interventions.146 However Rye found that intervention type did
not have an influence upon clients, who despite the context of the therapist's use of
forgiveness, tended to utilize their personal religious beliefs and activity during the
course of therapy.147 The strength of studies conducted on the effectiveness of
forgiveness suggests that there is a correlation between this foundational Christian
discipline and marital satisfaction and longevity. Perhaps God was choosing to speak
143Fincham,
et al., "Spiritual Behaviors and Relationship Satisfaction: A
Critical Analysis of the Role of Prayer," 375.
144Ibid.
145Forgiveness:
Ripley and Worthington, "Hope-focused and Forgivenessbased Group Interventions to Promote Marital Enrichment," 461-462; Michael E.
McCullough, Lindsey M. Root, and Adam D. Cohen, "Writing about the Benefits of an
Interpersonal Transgression Facilitates Forgiveness," Journal of Consulting and Clinical
Psychology 74, no. 5 (2006): 895; McCullough, et al., "Interpersonal Forgiving
Relationships: II, Theoretical Elaboration and Measurement," 1600-1601; and Orathinkal
and Vansteenwegen, "The Effect of Forgiveness on Marital Satisfaction in Relation to
Marital Stability," 257-258.
146Fox
and Thomas, "Impact of Religious Affiliation and Religiosity on
Forgiveness," 178.
147M.
S. Rye, "The Religious Path towards Forgiveness," Mental Health,
Religion and Culture 8 (2005): 210.
46
through Confucius when the latter said, "Never does the human soul appear so strong as
when it forgoes revenge and dares to forgive an injury."148
Theological Foundation
Theological Perspective of Marital Satisfaction
A theological perspective on marital satisfaction needs to begin with a
discussion of how each spouse views the other in terms of valuing them as a person. The
Christian perspective of the value of humans begins with the truth of Scripture which
regards humanity as being a special creation of God.
Biblical Value of Humanity
When God created man He stated,
Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion
over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the
earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth. So God created man in
His own image; in the image of God He created him, male and female he created
them. (Gen. l:26-27)149
Towner supports the position of man being God's crowning work. He writes that
because of positioning, being created on the sixth day, and having been the only creation
of land or sea that is created in the image of God, the narrator of the creation account sees
man as God's crowning achievement.150
148James
Cordova, Joseph Cautilli, Corrina Simon, and Robin Axelrod-Sabag,
"Behavior Analysis of Forgiveness in Couples Therapy," International Journal of
Behavioral and Consultation Therapy 2 (2006): 192.
149I
have used the NKJV translation throughout this paper, unless otherwise
noted.
150W.
Sibley Towner, "Clones of God," Interpretation, A Journal of Bible and
Theology 59, no. 4 (2009): 344.
47
The Bible is clear on this in many instances.151 Sagoff quotes Aquinas who
argued centuries ago that the intellective soul cannot be deduced from the potentiality of
matter and thus concluded that a rational soul must receive its existence directly from
God.152 It is important to give consideration to the intrinsic value each human person has
when considering the marriage of two individuals. Believers in Christ need to view one
another as a unique and special creation of God. Therefore, when entering into the
marriage covenant relationship it is important to establish a goal of holiness that can lead
to happiness. Because of man's uniqueness in God's creative act and because he is God's
redeemed child,153 he is called to be holy.154 Peter's use of the Greek word hagios
suggests one who is without sin, blameless, and is in keeping with the Hebrew word
151Genesis
25:22 shows how human life is a gift from God as Isaac pleads on
behalf of Rebekah for her to conceive and the LORD grants his plea; Isaiah 44:24 shows
how God is the author of life, forming humanity in the womb; Job 10:8-11 details Job's
cry to the LORD acknowledging it was God whose hands made him with intricacy,
clothing him with skin and flesh - knitting together his bones and sinews; and Psalm
139:14-16 reminds the reader that humanity is wonderfully and fearfully made.
152Mark
Safoff, "A Transcendental Argument for the Concept of Personhood in
Neuroscience," The American Journal of Bioethics 7, no. 1 (2007): 287.
153Paul
underscores this in his letter to the church at Corinth writing to the
believers in the Church, we are not our own but bought at a great price. I Corinthians
6:20. Fee notes in his commentary Paul's emphasis is on ownership; the body is God's
rightful possession, which is evidenced both through the indwelling Spirit and the
redemptive work of Christ. Gordon D. Fee, The First Epistle to the Corinthians, (Grand
Rapids: Eerdmans, 1987), 263.
154Peter
quoted the Holiness Code found in Leviticus 19:2 when he said,
"...but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is
written, 'Be holy, for I am holy.'" 1 Peter 1:15-16. Cedar notes to truly attain holiness
an individual must know God, love God, and obey God. Paul A. Cedar, James, 1 and 2
Peter, Jude, in vol. 34 of The Communicator's Commentary, ed. Lloyd J. Ogilvie (Waco:
Word Book Publishers, 1984), 125.
48
gadosh which carries the idea of sacredness and apartness.155 Cedar points out that this
requires a transformation into the conformed image of Christ.156
Boa argues that to discover the ultimate reality outside of a relationship with
God is pointless,
...futile attempts to discover that which can only be found in the Christian vision in
which even the ultimate reality of death is seen not as an end, but a birth canal into a
larger world where the whole person is transformed and made complete in unending
felicity.157
The early church fathers, as well as scholars and preachers, came to the conclusion that
any understanding of human nature must begin and conclude with the same premise;
human nature is limited in ability and reason and therefore requires a relationship with a
God whose creative acts bring meaning and purpose.158 Tillich argued that interrelated
155Ibid.
156Ibid.,
126.
157Kenneth
Boa, From Augustine to Freud: What Theologians and
Psychologists Tell us about Human Nature and Why it Matters (Nashville, TN: B&H
Publishers, 2004), 192.
I58Augustine
wrote, "God's love in forgiveness recreates His own image in the
sinner, so that redemption is in fact a new creation, restoring in sinful man the love
toward God which he had lost." Augustine In loh. Ev. tract 102.5.; Thomas Aquinas
believed all things originated from God, writing, "All things desire God because they
have come from him, but he is not the ultimate end of all creatures in the same way; it is
reserved for traditional creatures to know and love him, 'as He his Himself.'" Frederick
Copleston, A History of Philosophy, vol. 2, Mediaeval Philosophy (Westminster,
Maryland: Newman Press, 1960), 425; and Jonathan Edwards who taught that man, as a
special creation of God but limited by sinfulness due to choice, can only find his greatest
fulfillment in a relationship with God. Jonathan Edwards, History of Redemption: On a
Plan Entirely Original; Exhibiting the Gradual Discovery and Accomplishment of the
Divine Purposes in the Salvation of Man; Including a Comprehensive View of Church
History and the Fulfillment of Scriptural Promises [1793] (New York: T. and J. Swords),
3-573.
49
categories of anxiety resulted in a distorted "imageo dei" due to the Fall of Man.159
Covenant Marriage
There are several passages in Scripture which deal with the covenant
relationship of marriage.160 The prophet Malachi wrote that the marriage relationship is
defined as a covenant relationship, "Yet you say, 'For what reason?' Because the LORD
has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, which whom you have dealt
treacherously; yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant," (Malachi 2:14).
The Jewish Ketubbah is an example of the nature of covenant between a husband and
wife. It is a Jewish contract signed by both groom and bride and two witnesses and is
representative of the covenant between God and his children, Israel.161 Evidence for
marriage being a covenant relationship founded by God is presented in the Genesis
account of God bringing Eve to Adam (Genesis 2:22). It is a biblical truth Solomon
would later write about, "Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent
wife is from the LORD," (Proverbs 19:14). Hugenberger has observed that a rejection of
marriage as covenantal is "methodologically flawed if it proceeds by way of a study of
159Tillich
believed the three categories of interrelated anxiety were anxiety of
fate and fear of death, anxiety of meaninglessness and emptiness, and anxiety of guilt.
He argued while naturalistic psychology attempts to address these in the form of
treatment, the theologian recognizes these can only be dealt with through a grace
relationship from God. Paul Tillich,"Systematic Theology," vol. 3 (London: SCM Press
Ltd., 1951-1963), 30-31.
l60gamos
(yafiog) denoting a wedding feast or marriage in John 2:1-2; Luke
12:36; 14:8; gamed (ydjieco) denoting to marry in Matthew 5:32; 19:9; 22:25; Mark 6:17;
12:25, and Luke 14:20; 16:18; also as married (e.g. married wives) in I Corinthians 7:28.
161Joshua
Kulp, "Organisational Patterns in the Mishna in Light of Their
Tosefta Parallels," Journal of Jewish Studies 58, no. 1 (2007): 53.
50
the extant marriage documents."162
The Bible details for the believer the nature of completion that marriage brings
to each man. The creation account indicates that each day, after His act of creation, the
Lord stated that what was created was good, even going so far as to say, after creating
1
man and completing creation, it was very good.
Briscoe notes, however, that there was
not one comparable to man and this was stated in scripture as not being good.164 Man
was not complete in that he was not able to fulfill God's command for creation to
reproduce, and further, man was alone.165 The creation of woman, by God, was God's
provision of completing man and bringing to him another who is comparable and a
helpmate for life.
Christian Joy and Happiness in Marital Satisfaction
God established marriage to bring happiness into the life of each spouse.
Moses, writing about the law concerning divorce instructs that new husbands are to be
exempt from one year of military service or be charged with business so that, "he shall be
free at home one year; and bring happiness to his wife whom he has taken."166 Solomon
162Gordon
P. Hugenberger, "Marriage as a Covenant: A Study of Biblical Law
and Ethics Governing Marriage, Developed from the Perspective of Malachi," in "Book
Reviews," Journal of Biblical Literature 114, no. 2 (1995): 306-307.
'"Genesis 1:4,10,12, 18,21,25,31.
164D.
Stuart Briscoe, Genesis, vol. 1 (Waco: Word Books, 1982), 51.
I65Ibid.
166Deuteronomy
24:5.
51
charged husbands to rejoice in their wife.167
No other person in human history did more to bring about change in the
relationship between man and woman, husband and wife, than the creator of human
history — Jesus Christ. Paul wrote to the church at Ephesus and Corinth regarding the
purpose of the marriage relationship. Dunn notes that Paul, in his letters, was chiefly
concerned with the impression the world would gain from observing the Christian
community.168 Paul writes:
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the
wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own
husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the
church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the
washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious
church, not having spot or wrinkle, or any such thing, but that she should be holy
and without blemish. (Eph. 5:22-28)
Being familiar with both Hellenistic and Old Testament teachings on household
management, Paul instructs the Ephesian church in following the spiritual model or code
found in Scripture which is delineated from the Hellenistic model in that the basis for the
household management is not political but Christ Himself, the true motivating force for
marriage relationships.169
Theologically, holiness is about becoming more like Christ.170 Erickson
,67Proverbs
5:18.
Dunn, Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, Philemon, 228.
169Harold
W. Hoehner, Ephesians: An Exegetical Commentary (Grand Rapids:
Baker Academic, 2002), 725.
|
nr\
Cedar, James, 1 and 2 Peter, Jude, 126.
52
speaks of holiness being the process of becoming separate from another.171 Within the
marriage relationship holiness is separating from the world's definition of marital
happiness and seeking true holiness which provides for true happiness. It is showing care
and love, with each spouse looking upon the other as needing to be nourished, loved, and
sustained by each other through the power of the Holy Spirit. Dunn states that caring, in
a marriage relationship, is one way and the closest way in which a husband and wife can
experience the meaning of the cross of Christ,
Having pain or suffering because we have done something wrong is not what
bearing a cross means. To bear a cross means that we care enough to deliberately
enter another's life, even if it involves suffering and pain, which it always does in
marriage. To care means that I am with and for my mate, no matter what the
circumstance. To care means that I cherish and appreciate my partner, and so I
commit my energies, myself, and my time to his or her fulfillment. So, married love
looks like the cross.172
Holiness and Marital Satisfaction
More than happiness, from a temporal perspective, marriage needs to be
founded upon holiness. Holiness leads to happiness in a marriage when each spouse
realizes marriage is not about getting one's way or seeking only what one desire's for
self. It is about losing to gain, giving to acquire, dying to live. Missionary Jim Elliot
said, "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."173
Scriptures that provide insight and understanding to this concept of holiness as defining
171Millard
J. Erickson, Christian Theology (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book
House, 1989), 968.
172Dunnam,
Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, and Philemon,
233.
173Jim
Elliot, "The Shadow of the Almighty." [on-line]. Accessed 13
September 2010. Available from http://www.wheaton.edu/bgc/archives/faa/20.htm;
Internet.
53
marital satisfaction are found in Paul's writings to the churches.
Paul's first letter to the church at Corinth contains the apostle's teaching on
honoring God in marriage. Specifically Paul wrote that a couple must give and receive to
and from one another affection so as to honor God and keep themselves from the
temptations of Satan (1 Corinthians 7:3-4). Paul goes further in this same letter to
challenge the believing spouse to live with the unbelieving spouse because it will have a
sanctifying effect upon the unbelieving spouse and children living in the home (1
Corinthians 7:14). The apostle Peter challenged the Church husbands to be aware of
giving understanding and honor to their wives as to a weaker vessel so that prayers would
not be hindered (1 Peter 3:7). Peter further challenges the wives to be submissive to their
husbands so that those husbands who do not believe may be won to Christ because of the
wife's good conduct (1 Peter 3:1). Paul admonishes the church at Colossae and Ephesus
that husband and wife should mutually submit to one another, as brother and sister in
Christ, in service and love as unto the LORD (Colossians 3:18-19,23; Ephesians 5:21).
It can therefore be suggested from the biblical viewpoint, and the teachings of the early
church fathers, that a marriage can only find its greatest fulfillment of satisfaction when
the couple is in relationship with God and each other seeking to become more holy
because of their marital union.
Paul also taught about holiness in conduct as Christians in his letter to the
church at Galatia. The apostle defines the characteristics of being holy in Galatians 5:2223. These fruit of the Spirit, are evidences of a transformed spirit and when practically
54
displayed in the marriage relationship will reveal holiness resulting in happiness.174
Theological Perspective on Prayer
Mother Teresa was asked one time about her prayer life. She responded by
saying,
...that she did not say anything, she listened. She was then asked what God said
when she listened. She said He doesn't say anything, He listens. God listening to
us listen to Him. What a beautiful picture of prayer. It is like two lovers who
simply return a gaze without saying a word.1 5
The Church's teaching on prayer must first begin with the teachings and
ministry activity of Jesus Christ. Jesus gave his followers a model prayer to follow. He
taught them about how to pray:
And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray
standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen
by men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. But you, when you pray,
go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in
the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.
(Matthew 6:5-6).
Jesus taught that prayer was to be an activity that put the believer in intimate contact with
his Heavenly Father. Many were the times Jesus removed himself from the crowds that
he might be with the Father (Matthew 14:13; Mark 1:35; 6:46) to share with God and find
a new strength for soul and spirit. He also taught about the importance of prayer in not
losing hope:
Then He [Jesus] spoke a parable to them, that men always ought to pray and not
lose heart, saying: There was in a certain city a judge who did not fear God nor
174Jay
Sklar, "Holiness in Marriage: A Very Practical Thing," [online]
accessed January 14,2011; available from http://www.crosswalk.com/
marriaee/l 1596385/; Internet.
175Danaher,
"On Prayer and Forgiveness," 362-363.
55
regard man. (Luke 18:1-2)
Jesus then proceeded to tell the story of the persistent widow who was continuous in her
plea for justice. The widow's pleas were answered because of her constancy of plea to
the judicial leaders. She did not lose hope but persistently continued in her request.
Larson comments on this writing,
The first century church viewed itself as being still a group within the Jewish
community in both practice of traditions and in gathering as active participants in
the Temple and synagogues for prayer. While it is open for discussion among
scholars as to whether the followers of Jesus continued to participate in the Temple
life (inclusive of sacrifices),176 it has been suggested that, for theological reasons,
the early Christians considered the Temple as a place of prayer and teaching.177
Holm&s notes this loyal support by the emerging church of Jesus-followers by observing
the strategic role of the temple at Jerusalem in Luke's gospel account and letter to
Theophilus.178
Prayer, for the Christian, is a present reality that helps bring calm to the
restlessness of the human spirit. Saint Patrick, a 4th century bishop is credited with a
poetic writing on prayer's influence and avenue for the Divine and man to have
relationship:
Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me, Christ within me, Christ under
me, Christ above me, Christ at my right, Christ at my left, Christ in lying down,
,76Ben
Witherington III, The Acts of the Apostles: A Socio-Rhetorical
Commentary (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1998), 173.
177Peter
W.L. Walker, Jesus and the Holy City: New Testament Perspectives
on Jerusalem (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1996), 296-299; and Martin Hengel, "The
Geography of Palestine in Acts," in The Book of Acts in its Palestinian Setting, ed.
Richard Bauckham (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1995), 42.
178Holmas,
"My House Shall be Called a House of Prayer: Regarding the
Temple as a Place of Prayer in Acts within the Context of Luke's Apologetical
Objective," Journal for the Study of the New Testament 27, no. 4 (2005): 393-395.
56
Christ in sitting, Christ in rising up. Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of
me, Christ in the mouth of every man who speaks to me, Christ in every eye that
sees me, Christ in every ear that hears me... May Thy salvation, O LORD, be with
us forever.179
The theological concept of prayer, as a construct in the field of social science
research, has been argued by many as necessarily involving a separation from theological
reflection. O'Conner and Meakes note that a tension has existed since the Enlightenment
regarding prayer and theological reflection because of the advent of the scientific
paradigm that emerged during this period.180 It is suggested that prayer moves the
theologian outside the scientific paradigm; therefore a link is not made between theology
and prayer even among classic pastoral care writers such as Thomas Oden.181
While debate is made regarding theological reflection and prayer, there is more
agreement regarding the efficacy and power of prayer for change. Hampel writes of the
centrality of prayer in the revivals across the world and the Third Great Awakening in
180
1
1
North America.
Men such as Jonathan Edwards, Charles Finney, and Jeremiah
,79M.
P. Harney, "The Lorica: The Legacy of St. Patrick: As Found in His
Own Writings," in Barrett A. Evans, "Ancient and Classic Pastoral Counsel: Approaches
to Anxiety, Doubt and Guilt," Journal of Psychology and Christianity 24, no. 1 (2005):
82.
180Thomas
St. James O'Conner and Elizabeth Meakes, "Connection to Early
Church Theologians: Canadian Ethnographic Study on the Similarities and Differences
between Prayer and Theological Reflection in Pastoral Care and Counseling," Pastoral
Psychology 56 (2008): 499.
,81Ibid.
I82Revival
began to breakout in other countries including Ireland with the
"Kells Four" (McQuilken, Neneely, Wallace, and Carlisle); the great revival in Aberdeen
led by Morgan and Jones; and Australia in the preaching of Watsford, Brown, and
Taylor. Walter Hampel, "Prayer Revivals and the Third Great Awakening," Evangelical
Review of Theology 31, no. 1 (2007): 30-37.
57
Lanphier185 each made the call for prayer in calling the Church to seek God in revival of
faith and the calling of sinners to salvation. The Awakenings led to other movements
such as the Holiness Movement and the revival of 1857 begun by Lanphier in New York,
New York. The movement of the Holy Spirit in America ultimately led to increased
revivals in other parts of the world. Hampel notes the influence reached Charles
Spurgeon, who made comment of the power of prayer in the working of God in revival,
...this great work in America has been manifestly caused by the out-pouring of the
Spirit, for no one minister has been a leader in it. All the ministers of the gospel
have cooperated in it, but none of them have stood in the van [sic]. God himself has
been the leader of his own hosts. It began with a desire for prayer.186
Prayer is the power source in which the Christian communes with the living
God and engages in a divine dialogue. These conversations with God lead the believer to
a greater understanding of the power of God to live, and work in the life of every believer
in Christ. Prayer's impact extends beyond the spiritual to the mental and physical realms
of well being for those who enter into a daily dialogue with God.
The Significance of Prayer
The first mention of prayer comes in Genesis 4:26, "And as for Seth, to him
183Jonathan
Edwards, "Corporate Prayer for Revival," [online] accessed
November 23,2010; available from http://www.graceonlinelibrarv.org/
articles/full.asp?id=27l28U 12: Internet.
184Charles
Finney, "Conditions of Prevailing Prayer, A - C Sermon Series,"
[online] accessed November 23,2010; available from www.path2praver.com/article.php:
and www.gospeltruth.net/oe/oe47/oeindexesofpages.htm: Internet.
185J.
19th Century
Edwin Orr, The Light of Nations: Evangelical Renewal and Advancing the
(London: Paternoster, 1965), 103-105.
186Charles
Spurgeon, "The Outpouring of the Holy Spirit," [online] accessed
March 30,2010; available from http://www.spurgeon.org/sermons/0201.htm: Internet.
58
also a son was born; and he named him Enosh. Then men began to call on the name of
the LORD." Matthew Henry, in his commentary on Genesis, suggests this is a response
on two levels. First, worshippers of God stirred up themselves to do more in their
relationship with God than previously, motivated by the judgment and defection of Cain.
Second, to distinguish themselves from Cain and his descendents who called themselves
sons of men and lived lives against the teaching of God as indicated in Genesis 4:19
where Lamech took two wives, and Genesis 4:23 where Lamech boasts of killing a man
for wounding him.187 Keil and Delitzsh concur in their commentary writing,
We have here an account of the commencement of that worship of God which
consists in prayer, praise, and thanksgiving, or in the acknowledgment and
celebration of the mercy and help of Jehovah. While the family of Cainites, by the
erection of a city, were laying the foundation for the kingdom of this world; the
family of the Sethites began, by united invocation of the name of the God of grace,
to found and to erect the kingdom of God.188
Prayer, from a biblical perspective, is one element of establishing a
relationship with God. The prophet Zechariah wrote these words regarding the relational
purpose of prayer,
I will bring one-third through the fire, will refine them as silver is refined, and test
them as gold is tested. They will call on My name and I will answer them. I will
say, 'This is My people; and each one will say, 'The LORD is my God"' (Zechariah
13:9).
Interestingly the relationship metaphor most often used in the description of spiritual
formation is the marital relationship. An example of such imagery is located in the book
187Matthew
Henry, Genesis to Deuteronomy, Matthew Henry's Commentary
on the Whole Bible: Practical Remarks and Observations, vol. 1 (McLean: MacDonald
Publishing Company), 46.
188Keil,
C. F. and F. Delitzsch, Commentary on the Old Testament in Ten
Volumes, vol. 1 (Grand Rapids: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1978), 120.
59
of Isaiah 62:4-5 where the relationship of believer to God is modeled in the relationship
of husband to wife,
You shall no longer be termed Forsaken, nor shall you land any more be termed
Desolate; but you shall be called Hephzibah and your land Beulah; for the LORD
delights in you, and your land shall be married. For as a young man marries a
virgin, so shall your sons marry you; and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride,
so shall your God rejoice over you. (Is. 62:4-5)
Great preachers and philosophers of the Judeo-Christian tradition spoke of
spiritual formation using biblically based exegetical study to conclude the manner and
importance of a developing spiritual formation in the individual. Edwards believed that
God used His Word as the predominant means to impart wisdom to His ministers in the
ministry of soul care.
1 JtQ
Regarding prayer John Wesley stated, "God's command to 'pray
without ceasing' is founded on the necessity we have of His grace to preserve the life of
God in the soul, which can no more subsist one moment without it, than the body can
without air."190 Charles G. Finney commented on the importance of not neglecting the
spiritual discipline of prayer saying:
Waiting in a state of inactivity is a mistake, and so also is attempting to go forth
without the Holy Spirit. Christ said to his disciples, 'Go forth,' but He told them to
wait in Jerusalem till they would be 'endowed with power from on high.' They did
not wait in the sovereignty of God without doing anything, but they waited in the
agonizing of prayer with perpetual supplications.191
Routledege, writing on prayer, suggests the efficacy of prayer is such as to
l89Sean
Michael Lucas, "'Divine Light, Holy Heat': Jonathan Edwards, the
Ministry of the Word, and Spiritual Formation," Presbyterian 34, no. 1 (2008): 2.
190John
Wesley, A Plain Account of Christian Perfection: As Believed and
Taught by John Wesley, A.M., from the Year 1725 to the Year 1777 (Scotts Valley, 1777),
87.
191Charles
G. Finney, "The Prevailing Prayer Meeting," (sermon presented in
Blackfriars' Street Congregational Church, Glasgow, Scotland, 4, September, 1859).
60
replace in some instances the need for sacrifice with God's right to dispense with
sacrifices, "wherever their essential meaning, spiritual intercourse with God, has been
overpoweringly experienced in prayer.192 Holmas considered the sacredness of the
Temple in context of Luke's Gospel and Acts and the role of prayer for the first
Christians.193 He draws the conclusion that there is a continuity and discontinuity found
in the practice of prayer in the Temple, but that prayer played a significant role in the
development of the early church. Defining this spiritual activity has resulted in varying
contributions. Augustine believed that prayer does not essentially involve speech
because words in prayer are not for God who already has knowledge of our thoughts and
heart.194 The Bible's teaching on prayer demonstrates it is related to forgiveness and the
development of holiness in the believer.
Prayer, Forgiveness, and Holiness
The believer in Christ has the privilege of experiencing an intimate relationship
with God through the gift of prayer. The Greek word for prayer, npoaevxq, (petition
addressed to Diety) is a frequent term translated as "prayer to or of God" revealing the
intimate nature of this spiritual discipline.195 The intimacy is born out of love for God
192Robin
Routledge, "Prayer, Sacrifice, and Forgiveness," European Journal of
Theology 18, no.l (2009): 22.
193Geir
Otto Holm&s, "My House Shall be Called a House of Prayer: Regarding
the Temple as a Place of Prayer in Acts within the Context of Luke's Apologetical
Objective," Journal for the Study of the New Testament 27, no. 4 (2005): 393-416.
194Augustine,
De Magistro 1.2, in The Library of Christian Classics, vol. II,
Augustine: Earlier Writings (Philadelphia: The Westminster Press, 1958), 70.
l95The
word is used of prayer to God in Luke 6:12. Intercessory prayer is also
referred to as prayer to God with use of this word in Romans 15:30. "A Greek-English
61
and recognition of dependency upon Him for all things in life.196 Prayer and forgiveness
are interrelated such that prayer opens the door, through faith, to forgive an offender by
utilizing the powerful tool of imagination. Foster writes, "Imagination opens the door to
faith. If we can "see" in our mind's eye a shattered marriage whole or a sick person well,
it is only a short step to believing that it will be so."197 Prayer opens the door to
imagining the forgiving of an offender which is then only a short step to believing it will
occur. Both of these then lead to a deeper, more mature faith which is the development
of holiness.
Theological Perspective of Forgiveness
When considering forgiveness as a spiritual discipline the problematic issue is
settling upon a comprehensive definition. It is notable to mention during the 1980's
forgiveness as a religious concept with spiritual origins often was overlooked in the
research.198 It has been defined as an emotional replacement,199 too costly,200 and a
feeling of peace that is for the forgiver and no one else.201 The Greek defines forgiveness
Lexicon of the New Testament and other Early Christian Literature," 3rd ed., (BDAG).
Frederick William Danger, ed. (Chicago: The University of Chicago Press (2000): 878.
196Colossians
197Richard
3:4
J. Foster, 36.
198Robert
Enright and C. Coyle, "Researching the Process Model of
Forgiveness within Psychological Interventions," in Dimensions of Forgiveness, ed. E. L.
Worthington, Jr. (Philadelphia: Templeton Foundation Press, 1998), 139-161.
199L.
R. Smedes, The Art of Forgiving (New York: Ballantine Books, 1997),
200L.
G. Jones, Embodying Forgiveness (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1995), 6.
201F.
Luskin, Forgive for Good (San Francisco: HarperCollins Publishers,
177.
62
using two Greek words: a<p(r|ni meaning "to send forth or to send away (apo, from,
hiemi, to send), denoting, besides its other meanings, to remit or 'forgive (a) debts, (b)
sins, 202 and dupecnc; which denotes a dismissal, release and is used of the remission of
sins.203
The first three chapters of Ephesians are considered, in form, a continuous
prayer by Paul.204 Paul writes of redemption, which in this context conveys the idea of
forgiveness.205 Paul writes of the cost of forgiveness, and that forgiveness makes
"JfUL
possible for the believer to respond to God in "all wisdom and prudence."
It is a
spouse's ability to allow the power of Christ to guide them in forgiveness that will
deepen their maturity of faith, thereby becoming more holy, and allow for healing of
offenses committed toward one another resulting in a more satisfied marital relationship.
Forgiveness is not an option for the believer; it is a command of Christ. Jesus
spoke plainly regarding forgiveness saying, "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your
heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses,
neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." (Matthew 6:14-15) The command is to
2002), 68-69.
202"A
Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament and other Early Christian
Literature," 3rd ed., (BDAG), 156.
203Ibid.,
155, Mark 3:29; Ephesians 1:7; Colossians 1:14.
204Dunnam,
Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians and Philemon, 147.
205Ibid.,
152.
206Ibid.,
153.
63
focus more upon loving the person than caring about what offense was committed.207
The Christian marriage relationship is between two believers; a brother and sister in
Christ and therefore requires of each to love and care for each other more than about how
one offends the other. This is the inherent application of the Greek word aysoig (to
release); it is a spouse releasing the other spouse of the offense and also releasing from
themselves the hold of bitterness, anger, and resentment that comes from seeking to settle
a score through retaliation. Forgiveness, as taught by Christ in this passage, is not about
legalism, but rather evokes the question of sincerity.208
Religion has been found to have an impact in the study of forgiveness.
Forgiveness as a theological construct was studied by Podmore who looked at the life of
Soren Kierkegaard's "Sickness Unto Death. "209 Kierkegaard's conclusion is a statement
of the necessity of faith:
The infinite qualitative difference between self-forgiveness and divine forgiveness
(between human impossibility and the sacred possibility of acceptance) asserts that
the self should accept the forgiveness which, by ensuing from the divine Other,
exceeds and transcends the self s introspective capacities for self-diagnosis and even
despair.210
More than a religious practice however is the importance of a relationship with
God through whom forgiveness is given. Interpersonal forgiveness has its origins in the
character of God. The Old and New Testaments provide the environment where
"Jd7
Myron S. Augsberger, Matthew, ed. Lloyd J. Ogilvie, vol. 1, The
Communicator's Commentary (Waco: Word Books, 1982), 88.
208Ibid.
209Simon
D. Podmore, "Kierkegaard as Physician of the Soul: On Selfforgiveness and Despair," Journal of Psychology and Theology 37, no. 3 (2009): 174.
210Ibid.
184.
64
forgiveness first found its meaning. Joseph forgave his brothers for their sin of selling
him into slavery (Genesis 50:1-21). Jesus told of the love of a father who imparts to his
wayward son interpersonal forgiveness through unconditional love (Luke 15:11-32).
There are examples that convey the Divine/human relationship (John 3:16) and
human/human relationships (Ephesians 4:32 and Colossians 3:13).
Enright and Fizgibbons emphasize the element of faith in a relationship with
God who is the author and provider of the ability to forgive which is evident in their
definition of forgiveness:
People, upon rationally determining that they have been unfairly treated, forgive
when they willfully abandon resentment and related responses (to which they have a
right), and endeavor to respond to the wrongdoer based on the moral principle of
beneficence, which may include compassion, unconditional worth, generosity, and
moral love (to which the wrongdoer, by nature of the hurtful act or acts, has no
right).211
While this definition has elements of scriptural truth, it does not address the responsibility
to forgive as evidenced by Jesus' command to forgive, "For if you forgive men their
trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you" (Matthew 6:14). Christians, if
they are to "walk as He walked," (1 John 2:6) need to see the responsibility to forgive so
as to imitate Christ, who was willing to forgive even at the point of His very death (Luke
23:34).
21'R.
D. Enright and R. P. Fitzgibbons, Helping Clients Forgive: An Empirical
Guide for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope (Washington D.C.: American
Psychological Association, 2000), 24.
CHAPTER THREE
METHOD
Population
The population for this study was made up of couples who were currently
attending select Southern Baptist churches in Northeast Tarrant County, Texas and who
met the following criteria:
1. The individual spouses are Christian.
2. The couple is in a first marriage and did not cohabitate prior to their marriage.
3. The couple is newly married up to and including eight years.
4. During the course of their marriage neither spouse is or has been separated from each
other, living outside the home, due to marital discord.
Contact was made with a group of select associate pastors in Northeast Tarrant
County who represent churches ministering in the communities of Keller, Haltom City,
Ft. Worth, Watauga, Hurst, Euless, Irving, Bedford, Colleyville, Flower Mound,
Grapevine, and Southlake, Texas. These associate pastors meet monthly to discuss small
group and cell ministries for which they have responsibility in their respective churches.
The result of the contact was a listing of 10 select churches representing the northeast
Tarrant County, Texas. It was from these churches that a pool of volunteer subjects was
identified for participation in the research study.
The sample size was determined using the following equation: N > 50 + 8
65
66
(v).1 The number of independent variables in the current study was two. The resulting
equation is N > 50 + 8 (2). This results in a minimum of 66 individual spouses. A total
of 89 study packets (materials enough for 178 individual spouses), were delivered to the
select churches.
Sampling
The sample for this study was recruited from ten select Southern Baptist
churches, which were representative of the pastors from a monthly small group meeting
of prayer and planning. It was from these ten selected churches that couples were
recruited. The researcher personally attended and handed out packets to couples at seven
of the ten selected churches. The remaining three churches' pastors of discipleship
elected to distribute the packets on behalf of the researcher. These three pastors were
given a copy of a research script, see in Appendix 3, to read to the couples who were
being recruited for participation in the study.
Instruments
Multi-dimensional Prayer Inventory
The Multi-dimensional Prayer Inventory (MPI), see Appendix 5, consists of 20
items measuring seven types of prayer that includes both quantitative and qualitative
aspects of prayer.2 The MPI measures five types of prayers that are qualitative and two
'Samuel B. Green, "How Many Subjects Does it take to do a Regression
Analysis," Multivariate Behavioral Research 26, no. 3 (1991): 504.
2Steven
P. Laird, C.R. Snyder, Michael A. Rapoff, and Sam Green,
"Measuring Private Prayer: Development, Validation, and Clinical Application of the
Multi-dimensional Prayer Inventory," The International Journal for the Psychology or
Religion 14, no. 4 (2004): 255.
67
types that are quantitative. The five qualitative types of prayer, used in this study, are
Adoration (the focus is on the worship and praise of God), Supplication (requests for
God's intervention in specific life events), Confession (faults, misdeeds, or shortcomings
are acknowledged), Thanksgiving (expressions of gratitude for life circumstances), and
Reception (passively awaiting divine wisdom or guidance).3 Reliability was assessed by
item analysis resulting in a Cronbach's alpha range of .87 to .924 Validity was
established by correlating the MPI with the Religious Orientation Scale (ROS)5 and the
Hope Scale6 resulting in highly positively correlation with intrinsic orientation (p <001)
but not correlated significantly with the extrinsic orientation or the Hope Scale.7 Laird et
al., further found convergent and discriminant validity was established, through
regression analysis, with the MPI components being highly positively correlated with the
ROS and Hope Scale, noting specifically that Adoration, Thanksgiving, and Reception
were positively correlated with the agency component of the Hope Scale.
3Ibid.,
257- 258.
4Ibid„
257.
o
5G.W.
Allport and J.M. Ross, "Personal Religious Orientation and Prejudice,"
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 5 (1967): 432-443.
6Snyder
et al., "The Will and the Ways: Development and Validation of an
Individual Differences Measure of Hope," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
60 (1991): 570-585.
7Laird,
"Measuring Private Prayer: Development, Validation, and Clinical
Application of the Multi-dimensional Prayer Inventory," 259-260.
8Agency,
in the context of the Hope Scale, is defined as an individual's mental
energy to initiate and sustain movement along pathways to achieve established goals.
Ibid., 256,261.
68
Transgression-related Interpersonal Motivations
Measure -12
The TRIM-12, see Appendix 6, is a 12-item self-report measure of a
respondent's level of motivation to forgive an offender.9 The lower an individual's score
the more highly they will be motivated to forgive. The TRIM-12 was found to have three
important influences related to interpersonal forgiveness.10 A copy of the TRIM-12 is
found in Appendix 8. The TRIM-12 contains two subscales; Avoidance and Revenge.
The Avoidance subscale consists of seven items measuring the individual's motivation to
distance themselves from the offender. The Revenge subscale consists of five items
measuring the individual's motivation to seek retribution against their offender. Items for
each subscale are summed, with some items reverse scored. Higher scores on the TRIM12 subscales indicate a greater degree of each type of unforgiveness toward the
transgressor.
The internal consistency using Cronbach's a is .86-.90 for avoidance, and .90
for revenge.11 Evidence for the construct validity of the TRIM scores was reported, with
the subscales exhibiting the predicted negative relationships with empathy toward the
transgressor, current closeness of the relationship with the transgressor, and the
9McCullough,
et al., "Interpersonal Forgiving in Close Relationships: II.
Theoretical Elaboration and Measurement," 1586-1603.
,0First,
empathy is a high determinant of capacity to forgive, and specifically
pre-offense closeness, apology, empathy, and forgiveness appear interrelated; second,
ruminating over offenses is related to higher levels of motivations to seek revenge against
an offender; and third, forgiveness is associated not only with a closer more intimate
relationship, but also is associated with restoration of relationships following an
interpersonal transgression. Ibid., 1599-1600.
11Ibid,
1590.
69
transgressor offering an apology. Further evidence for construct validity was supported
by associations between the TRIM-12 subscales and rumination, as predicted by
McCullough et al.12
The Kansas Marital Satisfaction Scale
The Kansas Marital Satisfaction Scale (KMSS), see Appendix 7, was designed as
an alternative to longer, multiple-item instruments that measure marital satisfaction.13 A
copy of the KMSS is found in Appendix 7. Previous research with the scale has provided
support for its concurrent and discriminant validity.14 Schumm et al., found the KMSS
was correlated with the Quality Marriage Index (t (53) = 2.80 (p < .01, two-tailed)) and
the Dyadic Adjustment Scale [/ (53) - 2.87 (p < .005, one-tailed)].15
Schumm et al., provided high levels of internal consistency with two sets of
responses (5 response Likert scale and a 7 response Likert scale) and was demonstrated to
be substantially correlated with a marital stability scale providing evidence for construct
validity.16 One concern that has been given attention is the lack of a cutoff score on the
KMSS that would provide information as to the levels of marital distress. A study that
addressed this was conducted by Crane, Middleton, and Bean who used statistical
12Ibid.,
1599.
13Russell
D. Crane, Kenneth C. Middleton, and Roy A. Bean, "Establishing
Criterion Scores for the Kansas Marital Satisfaction Scale and the Revised Dyadic
Adjustment Scale," The American Journal of Family Therapy 28 (2000): 54.
14Walter
R. Schumm et al., "Concurrent and Discriminant Validity of the Kansas
Marital Satisfaction Scale," Journal of Marriage and the Family 48 (1986): 381-387.
15Ibid.,
383.
16Ibid„
382.
70
procedures to establish a conversion formula used to convert cutoff scores from the DAS
for the KMSS.17 These authors also report in their findings that there was a high
correlation between the Revised Dyadic Adjustment Scale and the KMSS (p = 783).18
Other research has also provided evidence for validity of the KMSS. Concurrent validity
has been shown with the ENRICH measure,19 and criterion validity with measures of
marital instability.20 The KMSS asks respondents their level of agreement on three
questions related to satisfaction in the marriage relationship using a Likert type scale of 1
(Extremely dissatisfied) to 4 (Mixed) to 7 (Extremely satisfied). The response is to be the
personal view point of the participating spouse and is an indication of how much they
agree with the statement.
Scoring and Interpretation of the Three Instruments
The scoring of the three measures were transformed and computed, using
SPSS Software, by the researcher into three single scores with a range, mean, and
standard deviation. Each of the three instruments used a Likert type 7- response scale
format. The TRIM 12 is scored such that a lower score represents a higher motivation to
17Crane,
Middleton, and Bean, "Establishing Criterion Scores for the Kansas
Marital Satisfaction Scale and the Revised Dyadic Adjustment Scale," 57-58.
,8Ibid„
56.
19Kelly
and Sutton found a moderate correlation between the KMSS and
ENRICH (r = .48,/? <.001, one-tailed). Kelly C. McLeland and Geoffrey W. Sutton,
"Military Service, Marital Status, and Men's Relationship Satisfaction," Individual
Differences Research 3, no. 3 (2005): 179.
20G.J.
Jeong, S.R. Bollman, and Walter R. Schumm, "Self-reported Marital
Instability as Correlated with the Kansas Marital Satisfaction Scale for a Sample of
Midwestern Wives," Psychological Reports 70 (1992): 243-246.
71
forgive. The MPI was scored on five types of prayer as depicted in Table A1 in
Appendix 15. The KMSS measured global marital and relationship satisfaction.
Demographic Survey
All participant couples were asked to complete a demographic survey upon
completion of the MIP, TRIM-12 and the KMSS. A copy of the Demographic Survey is
found in Appendix 8. Information from this survey was used to confirm eligibility of the
individual spouse's participation in the study, and confirm their personal relationship
with Jesus Christ.
Limitations
There were several limitations in the conducting of this study:
1. Despite the consent form assuring each participant subject of the confidentiality of
their responses, it appeared that the subjects may have answered in manner that was
socially desirable.
2. The collection data by return mail may have been subject to difficulties in controlling
the number of responses.
3. The ability to control the individual's motivation in completing the instrument
surveys was not possible.
4. While each subject was asked to complete the survey apart from their spouse, it was
not possible to guarantee that couple complied with this request.
Assumptions
There were a number of assumptions within this study:
1. It was assumed that the individual spouses in each selected church, who met the
criteria for participation, would take part in the study.
2. It was assumed that the individual spouses from each selected church would complete
the research packet in an honest fashion.
3. It was assumed that the participating churches, from which selected subject spouses
72
were identified, would teach a common understanding of 73prayer and forgiveness.
Definitions
The following operational definitions were used in the course of this study:
1. Prayer refers to each spouse's score on quantitative and qualitative measures for
practice of prayer (time in prayer, number of times per day in prayer, and number of
days weekly spent in prayer), and belief in the effects of prayer by measuring five
aspects of prayer (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication, Reception).
2. Forgiveness refers to the score by a subject on the TRIM-12. Scores measure a
subject's greater degree of motivation for each of two types of unforgiveness toward
the transgressor and willingness to forgive or not forgive an offense.
3. Marital Satisfaction refers to the level satisfaction each participant spouse has in the
marriage and with each other in the marriage relationship as measured by the KMSS.
4. First Marriage refers to one man and one woman who have been married up to and
including eight years, and entered into a marital relationship without having been
married previously or cohabitated prior to getting married.
5. Protestant Church refers to an evangelical, mainstream denominational or nondenominational church who meets regularly for purposes of corporate worship,
prayer, fellowship, and to foster personal spiritual discipleship. This will be
represented by Baptist churches in Northeast Tarrant County, Texas.
6. Christian refers to an individual's acknowledgement that Jesus Christ is God's Son
and confession that He is the only way to a relationship with God leading to eternal
life in heaven.
73
Design
This study used a correlational design to describe the strength and direction of
the linear relationship between prayer, forgiveness, and marital satisfaction. It
implemented standard multiple regression analysis. Data was collected and analyzed in
order to predict the strength and direction of relationship between prayer on marital
satisfaction, forgiveness on marital satisfaction, and prayer together with forgiveness
upon marital satisfaction.
Procedure for Collecting Data
The procedure used to collect data for this study was conducted according to
the following outline:
1. 25 churches were selected because of existing contact with pastors involved in a
monthly discipleship meeting. Each church was assigned an identification number
and entered into an Excel® spreadsheet. Each church's Pastor of Discipleship was
contacted by telephone to seek participation from their church in the research study.
2. Each selected church's pastor was provided a verbal account of the explanation of the
research study (see Appendix 2), and asked if he had couples who would be willing to
participate and who met the general requirements of being in a first marriage, newly
married up to eight years, are Christians, and who have not been separated from each
other due to marital discord. The researcher answered any questions regarding the
study that the pastor may have had. If the church pastor declined participation in the
study the pastor was thanked for his time and that church's name was discarded. The
process of selection was continued and the remaining churches on the list were
contacted. Fifteen of the pastors either did not respond to contact attempts, or
declined to participate in the study.
3. The process of selection was resumed during the course of the study until ten select
churches was attained.
4. When a pastor agreed to have his church participate in the study a Letter of Invitation
was sent the pastor (see Appendix 4), a sample study packet containing two human
subject consent forms (see Appendix 1), two copies each of the three research
measures (see Appendices 5,6, 7), and two copies of a brief demographic survey for
each spouse to complete (see Appendix 8). They were also sent a Participant Sign-up
Form (see Appendix 2) for couples to complete who expressed a willingness to take
part in the study along with a Letter of Invitation to participate in the study (see
74
Appendix 4). The pastor of discipleship was asked for his preferred method of
handing out the study packets using a choice of three options:
a. He may hand out the packets himself during Sunday morning Bible study
classes.
b. He may have the researcher mail each couple their study packet.
c. The researcher, or volunteers he recruits, would deliver the study packets to
the participating couples at a time deemed most appropriate by the
discipleship pastor.
5. Permission was obtained to use the MPI, the TRIM-12, and the KMSS (Appendices
12,13, and 14).
6. A Microsoft Excel workbook was created for correspondence purposes to include the
church's name, contact name of the pastor of discipleship, the church's telephone
number, the pastor's direct extension, email address, and the church's fax number.
7. So as to provide adequate time for announcements to be made, three weeks after
providing the Letters of Invitation the pastor of discipleship was contacted, by email
and or telephone, to secure the number of couples who agreed to participate in the
study, and the number of research packets needed equal to the number for each
couple.
8. The researcher prepared the research packets using two sets of documents including
the Multi-dimensional Prayer Inventory, the Transgression-related Interpersonal
Measure 12 (TRIM-12), the Kansas Marital Satisfaction Scale, the Human Subjects
Research Consent Form, a brief Demographic Survey, a self-addressed stamped
envelope for returning the completed study packets to the researcher, and a Letter of
Appreciation. The packets were organized as follows:
a. Letter of Appreciation
b. Human Subjects Research Consent Form
c. Demographic Survey
d. Multi-dimensional Prayer Inventory (MPI)
e. Transgression-related Interpersonal Motivations Measure - 12 (TRIM-12)
f. Kansas Marital Satisfaction Scale (KMSS)
g. Two self-addressed, stamped envelopes
9. Each study packet and the enclosed study measures including demographic survey
was coded for identification of the individual spouse. This information was entered
onto an Excel® spreadsheet for purposes of maintaining confidentiality of the
material completed by each individual spouse.
10. All correspondence with participant couples was conducted through their preferred
form of contact taken from the Participant Sign-up Form.
11. The research survey packets were delivered, by the researcher, beginning the week of
75
April 25,2011 to the pastors of discipleship at each of the selected churches.
12. The research survey packets were handed out to each participating church's couples
in the manner identified by the church's pastor of discipleship in step five. A
Material Delivery Tracking Sheet (see Appendix 10) was used to track receipt of each
couple's study packet.
13. Research packets were also handed out personally by the researcher at churches who
asked for the researcher to come to their couple's Bible study classes.
14. Completed research surveys were returned using the self addressed, pre-stamped
envelope to the researcher's office address: 1870 Rufe Snow Drive, Keller, Texas
76248.
15. Two weeks after research packets were delivered, the researcher sent a reminder
email to all couples who had not yet returned their research study packets.
16. A sufficient number of study packets were returned by the week of June 27,2011 so
that further steps to collect the data were not repeated.
17. A Letter of Acknowledgement of Material, (see Appendix 11), was sent to all
participant couples to acknowledge receipt of their surveys, to thank them for the
prompt return of their study packet, and to express appreciation for their willingness
to participate in the study.
18. Once all surveys were received the data was transferred and entered into the
Statistical Package for Social Sciences, v. 19© software for analysis.
Difficulties Encountered in Collecting the Data
Conducting research with churches has a history of being difficult. There were
fifteen churches which the researcher contacted but did not receive a return call. Despite
numerous voicemail messages and multiple emails sent to the church the researcher was
not provided with a return response indicating a non-willingness to participate. This
resulted in twenty-five churches having been contacted before the select ten churches
were identified.
When talking with the select churches, the researcher had difficulty in
arranging a time to address couples and hand out the study packets. Three of the pastors
76
requested to hand out the packets to their couples. Comments were made of not wanting
to take time from the class or a small group's Bible study in order to have couples receive
and complete the surveys. Therefore, several packets delivered were not included in the
study because of non-responsiveness by the couple who received the packet from their
church's pastor of discipleship.
Overcoming previous researcher behavior proved to be an obstacle that kept
several churches from participation in the study. Many pastors, who declined to have
their church participate in the study, indicated their hesitancy was due to previous
problems with researchers. Reasons stated included questions as to confidential use of
the information, association of the church with the published results, and previous
experience of a researcher not having integrity regarding what that person stated and
what he did.
Of the ten churches selected that did participate there were numerous
challenges in arranging for meeting times to discuss how to present the material to the
couples. Scheduling during the Easter holiday and preparation for pending summer
ministries proved to require persistence on the part of the researcher to secure a definitive
date and time to conduct the study in each church.
Confounding variables were not considered as potential reasons for the subject's reported
high levels of marital satisfaction. A number of causes that were not asked on the
demographic survey could have been influencers upon spousal reports of marital
satisfaction, such as idealistic understanding of marriage; financial security in the
marriage; belief in satisfaction being necessary in the first years of marriage; and a lack
of stressors upon marriage (i.e. children, health, and employment). Because there were
77
no questions regarding social circumstances or personal beliefs regarding expectations
during the first years of marriage, bias may have been present in the negatively skewed
results on the KMSS
CHAPTER FOUR
ANALYSIS
Procedure for Data Analysis
Scores from the Multi-dimensional Prayer Inventory (MPI), the Transgressionrelated Interpersonal Measure-12 (TRIM-12), the Kansas Marital Satisfaction Scale
(KMSS) and the demographic survey used in the current study were manually entered
into a Microsoft Excel® spreadsheet by the researcher. Demographic information
included name, ethnicity, age, years married, and standing in Christ. A total of 89 survey
packets were delivered to the ten select churches. A total of forty-nine survey packets
were returned for a return rate of 55.0%. The total number of returned survey packets
was reviewed, by the researcher, to verify that each packet met the criteria for inclusion
in the study.
All of the returned surveys were found to have a sufficient number of
responses to each of the three instruments to be usable. Individual spouse's responses on
each of the three instruments and the demographic survey were assigned an identification
number prior to importing them into the IBM SPSS 19.0v® software for data analysis.
The following sections detail the researcher's procedures for analyzing the data, and the
results of the data analysis which include the demographic information, hypothesis
testing, and findings resulting from ad-hoc testing and analysis.
Responses for each of the three instruments were scored according to the
instrument's scoring guide supplied by the author at the time of requesting permission to
78
79
use the instrument. For the MPI, the items on the qualitative aspects of prayer (adoration,
supplication, confession, thanksgiving, and reception) were scored and a qualitative score
calculated. These scores were entered into the standard multiple regression analysis. The
same procedure was also done on the TRIM-12 and the KMSS. Each instrument's scores
were entered simultaneously into the multiple regression analysis. Separate analyses of
each of the independent variables were conducted through multiple regression analysis to
determine the individual effect each had on the dependent variable.
Multi-collinearity and Singularity
The data was run to check for multicollinearity and singularity. Both
instruments used to measure the independent variables showed little multicollinearity.
The collinearity statistics of Tolerance and VIF, (see in Table A4 in Appendix 18),
produced values that indicated no violation of multicollinearity (.991 and 1.009
respectively) for this study.
Correlations
The researcher looked for the independent variables, prayer and forgiveness, to
be correlated, r = .30 or greater to marital satisfaction, indicating some relationship
exists.1 Pearson's r was computed in the regression analysis with the two predictor
variables. Table A6 in Appendix 20 shows that these variables had no significant
correlation in the model at the p<.05 level with marital satisfaction; prayer (r = .073,/? <
.05), or forgiveness (r = -.19, p < .05). This raised concern regarding the violation of
'Pallant, Julie, SPSS Survival Manual: A Step by Step Guide to Data Analysis
using SPSSfor Windows, 3rd ed. (New York: Open University Press, 2007), 155.
80
assumption required to run a multiple regression analysis. These correlation scores may
have been the result of the skewed distributions found on the KMSS and TRIM-12
scores.
The KMSS, like many life satisfaction measures, will tend to produce negative
skewness indicating that respondents are generally satisfied with their current life
situation.2 Likewise, the TRIM-12 will often be positively skewed with lower scores
indicating a higher motivation to be forgiving of an offense. While Christian spouses
tend to produce low scores on the TRIM-12, the fact that the TRIM-12 scores were found
to have a non-significant correlation with the KMSS was not expected. The review of
literature indicated that despite a negative skewness for marital satisfaction and a positive
skewness for motivation to forgive, each instrument presented significant correlations in
previous studies.3 This left the researcher to consider the population for this current
study.
The population for this study was both small and homogeneous and may
explain these non-significant correlations. Further, the narrowness of the population,
2Pallant,
3G.I.,
154.
Jeong, S.R. Bollman, and Walter R. Schumm, "Self-reported Marital
Instability as Correlated with the Kansas Marital Satisfaction Scale for a Sample of
Midwestern Wives." Psychological Reports 70 (1992): 243-246; Susan E. Mitchell, G.
Kathleen Newman, and Walter R. Schumm, "Test-retest Reliability of the Kansas Marital
Satisfaction Scale." Psychological Reports 53 (1983): 545-546; Walter R. Schumm,
Rosemary J. Crock, Adriatik Likcani, Cynthia G. Akagi, and Kathy R. Bosch,
"Reliability and Validity of the Kansas Marital Satisfaction Scale with Different
Response Formats in a Recent Sample of U.S. Army Personnel." Individual Differences
Research 6, no.l (2006): 26-37; and Karen L.Shectman, M. Betsy Bergen, Walter R.
Schumm, and Margaret A. Bugaighis, "Characteristics of the Kansas Marital Satisfaction
Scale among Female Participants in Community Childbirth Education Classes."
Psychological Reports 56 (1985): 537-538.
81
couples newly married up to eight years, may have influenced the results of the study.
Combined, these demographic results, which indicated that 24.5% of the couples in this
study were currently in their first 12 months of marriage, and the largest percentage of
age demographic was 25-29 year olds (40.8%), may have influenced the level of marital
satisfaction to be more highly skewed towards satisfaction than anticipated. Prior
research included a wider range of age and years married.4
Demographic Data
A database was created using Excel® with the following information for each
participant couple entered by the researcher: the individual spouse's name and
corresponding survey identification number, phone number, address and email address.
As the study packets were received by the researcher the individual spouse's scored data
from the MIP, the TRIM-12, and the KMSS was entered into IBM SPSS® v.19 statistical
software and a screening and cleaning of the data was conducted. The analysis of data
was run using standard multiple regression.
The volunteer sample included ninety-eight spouses who were in a first
marriage, were newly married to eight years, attending one of ten select Southern Baptist
Churches in northeast Tarrant county, Texas, who had not lived together prior to their
marriage, and who professed to being a Christian. The demographics of the selected
churches are depicted in Table A3 in Appendix 17. Demographics included various
membership sizes, traditional or contemporary type worship services, type of bible study
4Crane,
Middleton, and Bean, "Establishing Criterion Scores for the Kansas
Marital Satisfaction Scale and the Revised Dyadic Adjustment Scale," 53-60; and Sankyu
Hyun, and Heuikwang (Joseph) Shin, "Korean Pastors and their Wives' Marital
Satisfaction and Its Predicting Factors," Pastoral Psychology 59 (2010): 495-512.
82
formats. 70.0% of churches represented in the sample were predominantly larger
churches with Sunday morning attendance averaging over 1000 people. Each of the
selected churches conducted contemporary styles of worship with more of an emphasis
upon choruses with praise teams and worship bands, and less of the traditional style of
worship that includes hymns with traditional piano and organ accompaniment. Each
church offered traditional on-site Sunday school classes as well as various types of
community based bible study groups or cells.
Ethnicity, Age and Years Married
The participating couples represented four cultural groupings, ranging in age
from 20 - 53 years of age, representing ten select churches, and marriages ranging from
newly married up to and including eight years. In Table A2 in Appendix 16 is the
demographic descriptive data. It is interesting to note that of the study's population of
ninety-eight participant spouses 92.9 percent were White non-Hispanic with only 7.1% of
the population being people of color. Also it was found that 71.4% of the sample fell into
the 25-34 years of age range. Therefore this study was dealing with a younger population
which would be expected given the parameters of the study including couples newly
married up to eight years. Finally, a statistic worth noting is the percentage breakdown of
years married. The couples married less than four years were 65.3%, and of these 24.5%
were married less than one year.
Descriptive Data
Instrument Scores
Due to the size of the population of the study, a test for normality was
conducted. The frequencies of each test scores on the two independent variables and the
83
dependent variable measures were examined. The scores for marital satisfaction on the
KMSS and motivation to forgive on the TRIM-12 were not normally distributed (KMSS
p = .000; TRIM-12 p = .000) thereby violating the assumption of normality. However
the scores for the MPI produced a non-significant result which indicated the assumption
of normality was not violated (MPI p = .200).
Three histograms were created in the regression analysis of prayer and
forgiveness on marital satisfaction. In Figure Al, in Appendix 21, depicts the negative
skewness of the reported marital satisfaction scores in this study indicating the spouses
reported high levels of marital satisfaction (A/= 18.74, SD = 2.49). Figure A2, in
Appendix 22, depict reported scores on prayer from the MPI and present a normal
distribution o f scores compared t o the other measures in this study ( M = 79.69, S D =
15.14). Figure A3, in Appendix 23, depicts reported scores on forgiveness and indicates
positive skewness (M= 19.29, SD = 6.28) consistent with the instrument's scoring which
has lower scores indicating a spouse is more motivated to forgive an offense committed
by the other spouse.
Independent Variables Data
Descriptive data was produced from the participant spouses' responses on the
study's two independent variables of prayer and forgiveness. The range of scores on the
MPI qualitative prayer subscale was a minimum score of 34.0 and a maximum score of
105.0 (M= 73.16, SD = 14.77; n = 98). The mean scores depict that the spouses were
praying prayers of adoration, supplication, confession, thanksgiving, and reception from
God much of the time during their prayer times. The range of scores on the TRIM-12
was a minimum score of 12.00 and a maximum score of 36.00 (M= 19.28, SD - 6.28; n
84
= 98). The results suggested that the spouses in this study had high motivation to forgive
their spouse of transgressions committed against them. These results were lower than a
study by Wade and Worthington whose participants' mean score was 32.6 with a
standard deviation of 12.1.5 This indicated that the couples in this study were more
forgiving (a lower score indicated a higher level of willingness to forgive an offender and
offense).
Dependent Variable Data
The descriptive statistics for marital satisfaction showed a scoring range of
17.00 points with a minimum score of 4.00 and a maximum score of 21.00. A total of 31
spouses (31.6%) scored their satisfaction in the marriage as 21.00. The mean score on
the KMSS was 18.75 with a standard deviation of 2.49, n = 98. These scores indicated
high levels of satisfaction by spouses as evidenced by the high individual item scores
which were based upon a 7 point Likert scale with 7 being a perfect score of satisfaction.
Item one was satisfaction in the marriage (M = 6.25); Item two was satisfaction with the
spouse (M = 6.35); and item three satisfaction in the relationship (M= 6.14).
Previous use of the KMSS resulted in lower mean scores than those found in
this study.
6
Grable and Britt's study of 298 Midwestern couples resulted in a mean
score on the KMSS of 12.55 with a standard deviation of 2.72. Hyun and Shin's study of
5Wade,
Nathaniel G. and Everett L. Worthington Jr., "Overcoming
Interpersonal Offenses: Is Forgiveness the Only Way to Deal with Unforgiveness?"
Journal of Counseling and Development 81 (2003): 5.
6Grabble,
John E. and Sonya Britt, "A Further Examination of the Validity of
the Kansas Marital Satisfaction Scale: Implications for Financial Consultants," Journal of
Personal Finance 5, no. 2 (2006): 21-31.
85
marital satisfaction among Korean pastors and their wives produced lower KMSS mean
scores than this study (Husbands: M= 15.30, SD = 2.63; Wives: M= 14.79, SD = 2.99).7
Testing the Hypothesis
The hypotheses of the study were stated and tested in null form. A regression
analysis with the couple's level of marital satisfaction as the dependent variable and
prayer and forgiveness as the predictor variables was performed. All variables were
entered into the regression simultaneously. All the hypotheses were tested at a = .05
level.
Hypothesis 1
The first hypothesis of this study, stated in the null form, was that a spouse's
belief and practice of prayer would not be a significant positive predictor of self-reported
marital satisfaction among individual Christian spouses. Regression analysis resulted in a
model that showed prayer was not a significant predictor of marital satisfaction (Sig. =
.238, r = .073, n = 98,p< .05), therefore the null was retained. The model, shown in
Table 7, also showed that prayer predicts less than one percent of the variance of marital
satisfaction among the spouses in this study with an R Square of .005.
Table 7. Regression Model of Prayer and Marital Satisfaction
Model
R Square
R
1
.073
7Hyun
Adjusted R Square
.005
-.005
Std. Error of the Estimate
2.50193
and Shin, "Korean Pastors and Their Wives' Marital Satisfaction and Its
Predicting Factors," 495-512.
86
Hypothesis 2
The second hypothesis of this study, stated in the null form, was that an
individual spouse's scores towards motivation of forgiveness as measured by the TRIM12 would not be a significant positive predictor of self-reported marital satisfaction as
measured by the KMSS. Results of the regression analysis showed forgiveness was not
a significant predictor of marital satisfaction (F[l,96] = 3.752,p = .056) therefore the null
was retained. The model, shown in Table 8, showed that forgiveness predicted 3.8
percent of the variability of marital satisfaction among the spouses in this study with an R
Square of .038.
Table 8. Regression Model of Forgiveness and Marital Satisfaction
Model
R
1
Adjusted R Square
R Square
.194
.038
Std. Error of the Estimate
.028
2.46095
Hypothesis 3
The third hypothesis of this study, stated in the null form, was that an
individual spouse's scores of belief and practice of prayer and motivation of forgiveness
as measured by the MIP and the TRIM-12 would not be significant positive predictors of
self-reported marital satisfaction as measured by the KMSS. When prayer and
forgiveness scores were entered into the regression analysis simultaneously, the results,
presented in Table A5 in Appendix 19, showed together prayer and forgiveness were not
a significant predictor of marital satisfaction (F[2,95] = 2.012 ,p = .139), therefore the
null was retained.
Further Testing
Descriptive statistical analysis was run on the five subscales of the MPI. A
87
comparison of the mean scores, shown in Table 9, indicated that repentant prayer was
lower than the other four subscales.
Table 9. Means of the Subscales on the MPI
Range
Minimum
Maximum
Mean
Adoration
16.0
5.0
21.0
14.58
Supplication
17.0
4.0
21.0
15.54
Repentance
18.0
3.0
21.0
12.65
Thanksgiving
14.0
7.0
21.0
16.26
Reception
18.0
3.0
21.0
14.12
n = 98
Further analysis was conducted to determine if the mean score on Repentance was
significantly different than the mean scores of the other four subscales. In Table 10, on
the next page, are the mean score on the Repentance subscale (M- 12.65, SD = 4.40) was
significantly different from the mean scores of Adoration {M= 14.58, SD = 4.13);
Supplication {M- 15.54; SD = 3.75); and Reception (M= 14.12, SD = 3.82), but not
Thanksgiving {M- 16.26, SD = 3.51).
A one-way between groups ANOVA, depicted in Table 11, was conducted to
explore the impact of age on levels of marital satisfaction as measured by the (KMSS).
Subjects were divided into three groups according to their age (Group 1: 20-30 years or
less, n = 58; Group 2: 31-40 years, n = 33; and Group 3:41 years and above, n = 7).
There was a statistically significant difference in KMSS scores for the three groups at the
p < .05 level: F (2, 95) = 3.45,/? = .04. The effect size, calculated using eta squared, was
.07 suggesting a moderate effect size.
It appeared from these results that as individuals wait to marry they appeared
to be less satisfied in the first eight years of their marriage relationship.
88
Table 10. Summary of ANOVA for Comparison of MPI Quality of Prayer Subscales
Sum of
Squares
Repentant prayer* Adoration prayer
Between Groups
Within Groups
Total
Repentant prayer* Supplication prayer
Between Groups
Within Groups
Total
Repentant prayer* Thanksgiving prayer
Between Groups
Within Groups
Total
Repentant prayer* Reception prayer
Between Groups
Within Groups
Total
p < .05
df
M
Square
Sig.
F
604.170
1278.034
1882.204
16 37.761
81 15.778
97
2.393* .006
740.415
1141.789
1882.204
16 46.276
81 14.096
97
3.283* .000
367.086
1515.118
1882.204
14 26.220
83 18.254
97
1.436
773.185
1109.019
1882.204
16 48.324
81 13.692
97
3.529* .000
.155
Table 11. ANOVA Husbands and Wives Age and Marital Satisfaction Levels
Sum of
Squares
Years Married
Between Groups
Df
Mean Square
30.622
2
15.311
Within Groups
486.439
95
5.120
Total
517.061
97
40.962
2
20.481
5.928
Marital
Between Groups
Satisfaction
Within Groups
563.160
95
Total
604.122
97
F
Sig.
2.990
.055
3.455
.036
Post-hoc comparisons using the Tukey HSD indicated the mean score for
Gro u p 1 (M= 18.97, S D = 2.26) was significantly different from Group 3 ( M = 16.43; S D
= 5.90). Group 2 (M= 18.90; SD = 1.45) was significantly different from Group 3 but
not from Group 1.
89
A regression analysis was conducted as to examine the subscales of the TRIM12 (Revenge and Avoidance) and their relationship with reported marital satisfaction.
The regression yielded no significance with the Revenge subscale R2 = .009, [F(l,96)] =
.835,p = .363. However, when the regression was run with the subscale Avoidance a
significant result was found at the a =.05 level, R2 = .040, [F(l,96)] = 4.013,/? = .048.
Correlations data further showed the Avoidance subscale was correlated with marital
satisfaction (r = .024). This appeared to suggest that as couples decrease their avoidance
of conflict between one another, their reported satisfaction in the marriage increases.
A final post-hoc test run was on the quantitative items of the MPI and the
individual spouse's belief in the effectiveness of prayer. The quantitative aspect of
prayer included how many days per week an individual prayed; how many times per day;
and the length of each prayer time. Descriptive statistics indicated that each respondent
prayed five days per week, an average of two times per day, for an average of 3.5 minutes
per prayer time. Over a week's time this averages out to 35 minutes per week spent time
in prayer. The statistical results of the effectiveness of prayer, shown in Table 12,
indicated that both husbands and wives believed that prayer was effective in their life and
the life of others (M- 6.53, SD = .802).
Table 12. Descriptive Statistics on Belief in the Effectiveness of Prayer
Range Minimum Maximum
Statistic Statistic
Statistic
Mean
Std. Deviation Variance
Statistic
Statistic
Skewness
Statistic Statistic Std. Error
Prayereffective
4.00
3.00
7.00 6.5306
.80211
.643 -1.876
.244
prayereffectiveothers
4.00
3.00
7.00 6.3980
.85843
.737 -1.473
.244
n = 98 (listwise)
This would suggest that while prayer is reported as being important to each spouse, their
actual practice of prayer is less than one would expect.
CHAPTER FIVE
FINDINGS AND CONCLUSIONS
Findings
The purpose of this study was to determine if a belief and practice in prayer
and motivation to forgive were predictors of marital satisfaction among couples married
eight years or less who attended a select Southern Baptist Church in northeast Tarrant
County, Texas. Prior research on prayer and forgiveness separately, and their effect on
marital satisfaction have demonstrated a positive correlation.1
The importance of understanding the relationships between spiritual
disciplines, such as prayer and forgiveness, and a couple's satisfaction is witnessed to by
the trends in divorce among Christian couples. If the Church is to make a difference it
will need to have an awareness of what couples believe and practice about prayer and
forgiveness, and how to disciple believers in the spiritual disciplines.
The research presented in the review of literature provided evidence that prayer
and forgiveness continue to be subjects of interest in the field of psychological and
theological study. Since the mid-1990s there has been a dramatic increase in research
'Fincham, et al., "Spiritual Behaviors and Relationship Satisfaction: A Critical
Analysis of the Role of Prayer," 368; Wolfinger and Wilcox, "Happily Ever After?
Religion, Marital Status, Gender and Relationship Quality in Urban Families," 1332;
Frederick A. DiBlasio and Brent B. Benda, "Forgiveness Intervention with Married
Couples: Two Empirical Analyses," Journal of Psychology and Christianity 27 (2008):
151; and Mark R. McMinn, et al., "Forgiveness and Prayer," 103.
90
91
studies.2 This study's interest in how a spouses' faith played a role in marital satisfaction
occurred at a time when marriage was being challenged in the legal courts by those who
would have marriage recognized not as a union between a man and woman, but between
two individuals, whether hetero- or homosexual.3 Thus the Christian belief of marriage
being instituted by God is under attack by the Deceiver, and the Church needs to respond
by demonstrating to the world that a marriage based upon the biblical foundation of
Genesis 2 and strengthened by the spiritual disciplines leading to maturity in Christ can
result in stronger more satisfying marriages. The resulting dissertation research was also
conducted because of a call for more research pairing spiritual disciplines; specifically
2A
search of the Academic Search Premier on the Southwestern Baptist
Theological Seminary Knowledge Portal was conducted by the researcher. Between
January 1980 and December 1994 a search on scholarly articles on prayer yielded 208
results. A second search, between January 1995 and December 2010 yielded 2,475
scholarly articles, an increase of over 1000%. A similar search on forgiveness between
January 1980 and December 1994 yielded 49 results. A second search, between January
1995 and December 2010, yielded 1,339 scholarly articles on forgiveness, an increase of
over 2700%.
3Perry
Dane. "A Holy Secular Institution." Emory Law Journal 58, no. 5
(2009): 1123. Evidence of these changes and movement away from marriage being a
religious institution is seen in landmark and recent court rulings. The Massachusetts
Supreme Court appears to be dismissing the religious argument of marriage by writing in
their Goodridge opinion, "In Massachusetts, civil marriage is...precisely what its name
implies: a wholly secular institution."; and Minter, Shannon and Christopher Stoll.
"Legal Developments in Marriage Law for Same-sex Couples." GP Solo 27, no. 1
(January 2010): 32. Currently seven states have allowed and or recognize same sex
unions: Connecticut, Iowa, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Vermont, and
California. California first addressed the issue of same-sex unions as early as 1977, when
it amended their state constitution to authorize marriage only between a man and a
woman. Since this time the states listed have moved toward defining marriage as a civil
union or contract between partners, which can be defined as one man and one woman,
one man and one man, or one woman and one woman. The state judicial decisions
leading to the redefinition of marriage have been recent (Vermont, 2000; Iowa, 2004;
Massachusetts, 2004; Connecticut, 2005; New Hampshire, 2008; and Maine, 2009).
92
prayer and forgiveness.4
Interpretation of the Data Analysis
Ninety-eight spouses from ten selected Southern Baptist Churches in Northeast
Tarrant County, Texas completed three instruments; The Multi-dimensional Prayer
Inventory (MPI), the Transgression-related Interpersonal Motivation-12 (TRIM-12), and
the Kansas Marital Satisfaction Scale (KMSS). The MPI was chosen in part because it
provides a qualitative measure of five elements of prayer as measured on five sub-scales:
Adoration, Supplication, Repentance, Thanksgiving, and Reception. The TRIM-12 was
chosen because of its use in multiple research studies as a measure of motivation for an
individual to forgive a transgressor. The KMSS was selected in part because of its
brevity (three items) as a global measure of relationship satisfaction as compared to other
measures that have a greater number of items. It was also selected because of its current
use in many marital satisfaction studies as a valid and reliable instrument.5 A total score
for the dependent variable measure, the KMSS, was obtained. A total score for the two
independent variables, the MPI and the TRIM-12, were obtained. The participant
spouses in this study were first time married, newly to eight years, with a professed faith
in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior and were attending a select Southern Baptist Church in
Northeast Tarrant County, Texas. The standard multiple regression was used to examine
the relationship between prayer and forgiveness, and marital satisfaction. Additional
4Orathinkal
and Vansteenwegan, "Religiosity and Marital Satisfaction," 258;
and McMinn et al., "Forgiveness and Prayer," 107.
5Hyun
and Shin, "Korean Pastors and their Wives' Marital Satisfaction and Its
Predicting Factors," 495-512; McLeland and Sutton, "Military Service, Marital Status,
and Men's Relationship Satisfaction," 179.
93
post-hoc analyses were conducted to explore the relationship of select factors and marital
satisfaction.
Normality and Collinearity for the Study's Instruments
The data was analyzed for normality and collinearity. The MIP and the TRIM12 were analyzed for collinearity. Spiritual disciplines have common elements between
them. Because prayer should be apart of the forgiveness process a believer experiences
in seeking to forgive an offender, there was a concern that these two independent
variables might be highly correlated to one another. The correlation between prayer and
forgiveness was low (-.093); therefore multicollinearity was not a concern. Because the
sample size in this study was small, analysis was run to check for a violation of
normality. The Kolmogorov-Smirnov tests show that the distributions of scores for the
MPI were normal. However, for the TRIM-12 the results indicated a positive skewness.
This is not uncommon in that the TRIM-12 is designed such that lower scores indicate a
higher motivation to forgive. Therefore the spouses in this study reported a motivation to
forgive one another of offenses. It is worth noting that the scores on the TRIM-12 in this
study are higher than scoring in previous studies.6 It would be expected that believer's in
6Revenge
motivation was negatively correlated with happiness in a study
gender differences. Majda Rijavec, Lana JurCec, and Ivana Mijodevic, "Gender
Differences in the Relationship between Forgiveness and Depression/Happiness,"
Psihologijske teme, 19, no.l (2010): 195; TRIM 12 scores in a study of interpersonal
forgiving in close relationships showed a low mean M = 8.68 on a range of scores from 5
to 25 with higher scores indicating a higher motivation for revenge and less toward
forgiveness. McCullough, et al., Interpersonal Forgiving in Close Relationships: II.
Theoretical Elaboration and Measurement," (1998): 195; TRIM 12 scores in a study on
vengefulness with forgiveness, rumination, well-being and personality demonstrated low
mean (M= 8.95, SD = 5.37, n = 91). McCullough, Michael E, C. Garth Bellah, Shelley
Dean Kilpatrick, and Judith L. Johnson, "Vengefulness: Relationships with Forgiveness,
Rumination, Weil-Being, and the Big Five," Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin
94
Christ would have a high motivation to forgive and in so doing be obedient to the
teachings of Christ who taught that for the Father to forgive man their sins, man must
forgive one another (Matthew 6:14-15).
A normality statistic was also run on the dependent variable instrument, the
KMSS. It was anticipated there would be a negative skewness to the marital satisfaction
scores. This was proven to be true as the results of normality testing showed a violation
of normality on levels of marital satisfaction. Pallant has written that life satisfaction
scales will often result in a violation of normality with most subjects holding the belief of
being satisfied with their state in life.7 Indeed this study resulted in a negative skew of
scores which indicated the spouses reported high levels of marital satisfaction in their
marriage, with their spouse, and in the relationship. Despite U.S. Census data from 2009
£
indicating first marriages which ended in divorce lasted a median of eight years, the
spouses in this study reported a level of marital satisfaction with a median score of 19.00
on a range of 3 to 21 (M= 18.74, SD = 2.49). These scores on the KMSS, while slightly
higher, are in keeping with previous research using this instrument.9
While it is a measure of global relationship satisfaction, and has been used as a
brief alternative to more extensive marriage satisfaction measures10 the KMSS' three
27, no. 5 (May, 2001): 605.
7Pallant,
62.
8http://www.census.gov/prod/2011pubs/p70-125.pdf.
9Grabble
and Britt, "A Further Examination of the Validity of the Kansas
Marital Satisfaction Scale: Implications for Financial Consultants," (2006): 21-31.
10Russell
D. Crane, Kenneth C. Middleton, and Roy A. Bean, "Establishing
Criterion Scores for the Kansas Marital Satisfaction Scale and the Revised Dyadic
95
items did not allow a spouse to respond to more specific marital satisfaction variables
such as the Marital Satisfaction Inventory - Revised (MSI-R) a 150-item true/false
instrument which takes approximately 25 minutes to complete or the Marital Satisfaction
Scale (MSS) a 48 item designed to measure marital adjustment, success, or happiness.
The results indicated that what was gained in brevity may have resulted in a loss of
specificity as to variables contributing to a more overall understanding of what brings
satisfaction to the marriage relationship.
Findings of the Hypotheses
The hypotheses of this study were stated in the null form. The independent
variables were entered into the standard multiple regression simultaneously. Each
independent variable was also entered separately into the regression analysis. For each
analysis the significance level was set at a = .05.
Hypothesis 1
The first null hypothesis of this study was that a spouse's belief and practice of
prayer would not be a significant predictor of self-reported marital satisfaction. Results
of multiple regression analysis showed prayer was not a significant predictor of marital
satisfaction. The first null hypothesis was retained.
This result was not anticipated. The findings suggest there is little effect
prayer has on a spouse's reported satisfaction in their marriage relationship. This is not
supported by previous research whose findings, detailed in the review of literature, found
a significant relationship between prayer and marital stability. Analysis of prayer in this
Adjustment Scale," (2000): 54.
96
study revealed that the spouses did actively pray. However, descriptive statistical
analysis showed that the individual spouses in this study, when they prayed, focused
more upon adoration, thanksgiving, supplication, and reception of requests from God
more than confession of personal sin. The mean scores for the first four types of prayer,
seen in Table 9 on page 89, were found to be significantly different from the mean score
on repentance (Adoration: M= 14.58; Supplication: M= 15.54; Thanksgiving: M =
16.26; Reception: M= 14.12; and Repentance: M=12.65). While prayer is indicated as
being important, it appeared that for the couples in this study prayer was more inclusive
of worshiping God through praise type prayers, and less worship of God through personal
confession and repentance of sin. This result, coupled with an ad-hoc analysis of the
quantitative aspects of prayer (days per week spent in prayer [M= 5.49, SD = 1.77 ],
times per day in prayer[M = 2.54, SD = 1.24 ], and average minutes spent in prayer
time[M= 3.52, SD =1.11]) that found the average time spent in prayer is 35 minutes
per week, could explain why prayer was not correlated with nor a significant predictor of
marital satisfaction for the couples in this study. These couples appeared to be less
transparent with God regarding their sins and possibly less transparent with their spouses
thus believing their marriages to be satisfying based upon influences other than spiritual
transparency with God or each other.
Ad hoc testing of prayer was conducted to determine the level of prayer the
spouses were involved in as a part of their Christian faith. It was thought that perhaps
individual spouses had differing prayer habits and that the non-significant result was the
result of one spouse's results affecting the other spouses' pattern of prayer. An
independent samples t-test was conducted to compare the subscale means of husbands
97
and wives on the quantitative aspects of prayer. In Table 13 are the mean scores and
standard deviations that show there was no significant difference between husbands and
wives in their mean scores on prayer. This indicated that both spouses are similar in their
practices of prayer.
Table 13. Mean Scores of Husband and Wife on the MPI Quantitative Subscale
Gender
Male
Mean
N
Std. Deviation
Mean
N
Std. Deviation
Mean
N
Std. Deviation
Female
Total
Days
5.3673
49
1.87854
5.6122
49
1.68098
5.4898
98
1.77755
time
2.46939
49
1.209374
2.61224
49
1.288027
2.54082
98
1.244935
length
3.5102
49
1.15691
3.5306
49
1.08209
3.5204
98
1.11438
p < .05
Hypothesis 2
The second hypothesis of this study was that an individual spouse's scores on
motivation to forgive as measured by the TRIM-12 would not be a significant predictor
of marital satisfaction. Results of the regression analysis found that forgiveness was not
a predictor of marital satisfaction. The null was retained.
The positive skew associated with the scoring on the TRIM-12 was anticipated
since the instrument is scored with lower responses being an indicator of a higher level of
motivation to forgive an offender. The statistically non- significant relationship with
marital satisfaction were not similar to previous research results in which the TRIM-12
was significantly correlated with life satisfaction measures, particularly marriage
98
satisfaction.11 Previous studies that showed a significant correlation between TRIM-12
scores and marital satisfaction had populations that differed from this study.12
The TRIM-12 has two subscales consisting of twelve items, five which
measure revenge (I'll make him or her pay; I wish that something bad would happen to
him or her; I want him or her to get what he or she deserves; I am going to get even; and I
want to see him or her hurt and miserable) and seven items which measure avoidance (I'd
keep as much distance between us as possible; I'd live as if he or she doesn't exist, isn't
around; I wouldn't trust him or her; I'd find it difficult to act warmly toward him or her;
I'd avoid him or her; I'd cut off the relationship with him or her; and I'd withdraw from
him or her). The regression analysis revealed that the revenge subscale was not a
significant predictor of marital satisfaction [F(l, 96) = .835,/? = .363). It seems that
while the spouses in this study did not have a desire to seek revenge towards the other,
nLorig
K. Kachodourian, Frank D. Fincham, and Joanne Davila, "The
Tendency to Forgive in Dating and Married Couple: The Role of Attachment and
Relationship Satisfaction," Personal Relationships 11 (2004): 373-393; Frank D.
Fincham, Julie H. Hall, and Steven R. H. Beach, "'Til Lack of Forgiveness Doth Us
Part": Forgiveness and Marriage," Handbook of Forgiveness, ed. Everett L. Worthington.
(New York: Routledge: 2005), 207-225; Lorig K. Kachodourian, Frank Fincham, and
Joanne Davila, "Attitudinal Ambivalence, Rumination, and Forgiveness of Partner
Transgressions in Marriage," PSPB 31, no. 3 (March 2005): 334-342; and Frank D.
Fincham, Scott M. Stanley, and Steven R. H. Beach, "Transformative Processes in
Marriage: An Analysis of Emerging Trends," Journal of Marriage and Family 69, no. 2
(2007): 275-292.
12Majda
et. al., had a sample that was made up of 600 unmarried university
students. Rijavec, Majda, Jurdec, and Ivana MijoCevic, "Gender Differences in the
Relationship between Forgiveness and Depression/Happiness," Psihologijske teme 19,
no. 1 (2010): 189-202; and Kachadourian, Fincham, and Davila whose population sample
included couples who were older (husbands - M = 43.3 years old) and wives, M= 41. 1
years old. Lorig K. Kachadourian, Frank D. Fincham, and Joanne Davila, "Attitudinal
Ambivalence, Rumination, and Forgiveness of Partner Transgressions in Marriage," 334342.
99
the influence this had on their perceptions of marital satisfaction was not significant
leaving open the possibility of other factors or variables that have a greater influence on
satisfaction in the marriage. Revenge accounted for less than one percent of the variance
(R2 = -.002), which means that 99.8% of variance is explained by factors other than
forgiveness based upon a desire to not seek revenge against a spouse.
Interestingly the regression analysis on the subscale Avoidance returned a
much different result. The Avoidance subscale of the TRIM-12 was found to be a
statistically significant positive predictor of marital satisfaction (R2 = .040, [F(l, 96) =
.048, p = .048). This indicated that the less the spouses avoided confronting the offenses
committed against one another the higher their expressed satisfaction in the marriage
relationship was. While this result is statistically significant it was also found to account
for only 4% of the variance in marital satisfaction. There still remains 96% of the
variance in being made up of factors other than non-avoidant behavior towards personal
offenses committed against one another in the marriage. It does however suggest that
those couples who engage in conflict resolution rather than conflict avoidant behaviors
will have higher levels of satisfaction with their spouse and in their marriage relationship.
Hypothesis 3
The third hypothesis of this study was that an individual spouse's scores on the
MPI and the TRIM-12 would not be significant positive predictors of marital satisfaction
as measured on the KMSS. When scores from the MPI and the TRIM-12 were entered
into the regression analysis simultaneously the results, (see Table A5 in Appendix 19),
indicated that together these two variables were not significant predictors of marital
satisfaction. The null hypothesis was retained. The R2 for the model, (R2 =.041), that
100
included both independent variables showed that only 4.1% of the variance effected
levels of marital satisfaction. This means that 95.9% of the variance on marital
satisfaction is explained by factors other than prayer and forgiveness.
Descriptive Analysis of the MPI
Descriptive analysis on the mean scores of the MPI may provide some
understanding as to the non-significant correlation between prayer and marital
satisfaction in this study. The analysis indicated that the Repentance subscale had the
lowest mean score of the five subscales (M= 12.65). This, coupled with the total prayer
score which indicated the mean average of time spent in prayer by the spouses in this
study was 35.0 minutes per week, offers insight as to the lack of sufficient prayer to
impact marital satisfaction. Previous studies on the effects of prayer on marital
satisfaction have shown the positive effectiveness of prayer in the midst of marital
conflict,13 preventing problems while enhancing relationship reconciliation,14and
increasing selfless concern while enhancing the offering of forgiveness towards
another.15 If couples are not engaged in an active, meaningful prayer life, yet still report
such high levels of satisfaction in the marriage, it leaves open a wide range of possible
factors other than spiritual influences for their belief in being satisfied in the marriage.
13Steven
Beach, R.H., Frank D. Fincham, Tera R Hurt, Lily M. McNair, and
Scott M. Stanley, "Prayer and Marital Intervention: A Conceptual Framework," Journal
of Social and Clinical Psychology 27, no. 7 (2008): 641-669.
14Nathaniel
M. Lambert, and David C. Dollahite, "How Religiosity Helps
Couples Prevent, Resolve, and Overcome Marital Conflict," Family Relations 55
(October, 2006): 439-449.
15Lambert,
et al., "Motivating Change in Relationships: Can Prayer Increase
Forgiveness," Psychological Science 21, no. 1 (2010): 126-132.
101
The Limitation of the Kansas Marital Satisfaction Scale
The KMSS was chosen for this study, in part because of its brevity. It is a
global measure shown to have concurrent and discriminant validity and correlation to
other marriage satisfaction measures. Previous research with the scale has provided
support for its concurrent and discriminant validity,16 with Schumm et al., indicating that
the KMSS was correlated with the Quality Marriage Index (t (53) = 2.80 [p < .01, twotailed]) and the Dyadic Adjustment Scale (t (53) = 2.87 (p < .005, one-tailed)).17
Further, the KMSS has been used in recent research in which the scale was found to have
a moderate correlation with the ENRICH scale,18 and construct validity with other marital
stability scales19 The KMSS is therefore often chosen in research as an alternative to
more lengthy measures. It is possible however that the global nature of the instrument
limited the actual satisfaction responses spouses may have made using a more
comprehensive marital satisfaction instrument. The limited and broad statements of
satisfaction with the marriage, spouse, and relationship may not have provided the more
in depth assessment of a spouses' satisfaction. This is not to state that the KMSS did not
measure what it purported to measure. The Cronbach's alpha for the KMSS in this study
was a = .906 showing the instrument has good internal consistency. Despite this strong
16Schumm
et al., "Concurrent and Discriminant Validity of the Kansas Marital
Satisfaction Scale," Journal of Marriage and the Family 48 (1986): 381-387.
17Ibid.,
383.
18Kelly
C. McLeland and Geoffrey W. Sutton, "Military Service, Marital
Status, and Men's Relationship Satisfaction," Individual Differences Research 3, no. 3
(2005): 179
19Lawrence
A. Kurdek, "Predicting the Timing of Separation and Marital
Satisfaction: A Eight-year Prospective Longitudinal Study," (2002), 169.
102
relationship among the three items, there remains the question as to whether this
particular instrument is sufficient for the purposes of assessing a spouses' true level of
satisfaction in the marriage which has multiple factors that can cause varying levels of
dissatisfaction in a spouses' perception.
Post-hoc ANOVA Analyses and additional Multiple Regression Analysis
Although there was only one statistically significant finding with regard to the
predictability of prayer and forgiveness upon marital satisfaction post-hoc analyses and
additional multiple regression analysis were conducted to determine if there were
differences among the scores between husbands and wives on each of the three variables
in this study. Two questions resulted from the running of these analyses. First was
whether husbands and wives had similar responses to the belief and practice of prayer
and motivation to forgive. Second, if their responses were statistically different could
this be an explanation for the lack of correlation between prayer, forgiveness, and marital
satisfaction as a whole model.
Repentance Prayer Subscale of the MPI
The results of the independent samples t-test showed that both husbands and
their wives had no significant difference in their mean scores on the Repentance subscale
of the MPI. The quantitative score on the MPI which indicated the days per week, times
per day, and minutes spent in each prayer time (husbands [days: M-5.37, SD = 1.88;
times: M= 2.46, SD= 1.21; length: M= 3.51, SD = 1.16] and wives-days=M= 5.61,
SD = 1.68; times: M=2.61, SD = 1.29; length: M= 3.53, SD — 1.08), suggested that
husbands spent approximately 46 minutes in prayer per week, and wives spent
approximately 52 minutes in prayer per week. This indicated that husbands and wives, in
103
this study, were spending approximately 4 minutes in prayer two to three times per day.
Spouses in this study also reported confession, admission of inappropriate thoughts, and
admission of faults and behaviors about one-half the time they engaged in prayer,
husbands (M = 12.73, SD = 4.79; the scoring range of response was 18.00 with a
minimum 3.00 and a maximum 21.00) and wives M- 12.60, SD = 4.04, t (1,96) = .184,
p = .86 (two-tailed) with a scoring range of 16.00 with a minimum 5.00 and a maximum
21.00. It would appear that repentance, as a part of weekly prayer time, was taking place
about half the time that spouses engaged in prayer. This would suggest that there might
be a discrepancy between what the Church is teaching on biblical prayer and what
couples are actually practicing in a regular prayer time with God. Prayer is to be a
critical part of living the Christian life, yet if the Church is not teaching couples to pray in
an intentional program of discipleship, then it is no wonder that the effects are minimal
upon the satisfaction of the marriage relationship.
Effectiveness Subscale of the MPI
It was considered that perhaps the lack of time spent in prayer by the spouses
in this study was due to their beliefs regarding prayer, such as their belief in the
effectiveness of prayer. The MPI's subscales of effectiveness measured a spouses'
perception of prayer being effective in their life and prayer being effective in the life of
others. Descriptive statistics were run to examine the mean scores on the participant's
belief of the effectiveness of prayer. The mean scores, based on a 7 point Likert scale
with 7 representing a strong agreement as to the effectiveness of prayer on self and
others, is shown in Table 14. The scores indicated the spouses have a strong belief in the
effectiveness of prayer.
104
Table 14. Mean Scores of Belief in the Effectiveness of Prayer
Range Minimum Maximum Mean Std. Deviation
Statistic Statistic Statistic Statistic
Statistic
Prayereffective
4.00
3.00
7.00 6.5306
.80211
3.00
7.00 6.3980
prayereffectiveothers
4.00
.85843
N = 98
This seems to be a contradictive position. If prayer is believed to be effective
in dealing with life's challenges, it would stand to reason there would be a greater amount
of time spent in exercising this spiritual discipline. This contradiction between belief and
practice may be one possible explanation for the non-significant result of prayer as a
predictor of marital satisfaction.
Years Married Differences on KMSS Scores
The skewed scores on the KMSS were not unexpected. Many life satisfaction
scales will be skewed toward a favorable outlook. A one-way ANOVA was run to
determine if there were any significant differences between the couples in this study
when grouped by age and years married. The ANOVA run with years married as the
grouping factor showed no significant difference. There was a slight indication of
satisfaction decline as the age of husbands and wives at first marriage increased, shown
in Figure A4 in Appendix 24, as evidenced in the analysis' means plot, however the
decline was minimal.
Age Differences on KMSS Scores
When an ANOVA was run with age as the grouping factor a statistically
105
significant result was obtained and is shown in Table 15. The results indicated that as
older individuals enter into a marriage relationship the level of satisfaction in the
marriage, during the first eight years, decreases. The most statistically significant
difference was between those spouses who were 20-30 years of age (group 1) and those
spouses who were 41-53 years of age (Group 3). There was no statistical difference
between Group 1 and those spouses in Group 2 (31-40 years of age).
Table 15. Age Grouping Differences in Marital Satisfaction
Sum of Squares
Df
Between Groups
40.962
2
563.160 95
Within Groups
Total
604.122 97
Dependent variable: Marital Satisfaction
^significant at the 0.05 level.
Mean Square
20.481
5.928
F
3.455
Sig.
.036*
It is difficult to explain this finding. The statistic indicated older aged couples
are less satisfied in the first eight years of their marriage. One possible reason for their
decreased level of marital satisfaction is that older individuals may enter into a marriage
with higher expectations of what a marital relationship should be. Having waited longer
to wed, than their younger counterparts, these individuals may have possibly created a
higher expectation of marriage and found these expectations not met thereby resulting in
being less satisfied. Another possibility is that these couples have spent more time single
than married and have more established patterns of behaviors which may be challenging
for their spouse to accept in a marriage. The KMSS does not provide for specific
answers to this significant finding being that it is a global measure of marital satisfaction.
However, with this finding, combined with the finding of the spouses limited prayer life,
a pattern begins to emerge as to the importance of developing the spiritual disciplines in
106
living the Christian marriage.
Conclusions
Based on the data it can be concluded that prayer and forgiveness did not have
a predictive influence upon marital satisfaction for the couples in this study. However
several findings indicate that there is a common belief about these two spiritual
disciplines which influenced the study's outcome.
Interpretations Drawn from the Findings
First, it is clear that for those spouses participating in this study prayer is an
important belief. The scores on the MPI provide empirical support for the importance
prayer has in these Christian couples' understanding of living the Christian life. Both
husbands and wives believe strongly in the effectiveness of prayer. But the divergence is
between their belief and practice of prayer. The apostle Paul challenged the Church in
his letter to Galatia to not only live in the Spirit but also walk in the Spirit (Galatians
5:25). The Church must concern itself with the discipleship of its believing members by
emphasizing the teaching of what prayer is, how it is to be practiced, and developing an
accountability system through Paul/Timothy type relationships to help ensure that those
who earnestly and sincerely desire to walk as Jesus walked (1 John 4:7) are given the
tools necessary to grow in this discipline.
It would seem that this challenge remains as relevant today as it was in the first
century. The contradiction of making a strong statement in the efficacy of prayer but
then only practice the discipline 31.25 minutes per week cannot provide any true measure
of impact on the believer's life. This then is the concern: prayer, under these belief and
practices accounts for less than one-half of one percent of the reported satisfaction these
107
couples say they are experiencing in their marriages. What then is making up the 95.9%
of reported satisfaction? This question can only be answered by further study involving
additional variables, including other spiritual disciplines.
Second, the data pointed to the importance of spouses facing and working
through conflict. The data supported, through regression analysis of the subscale
Avoidance, the need for spouses to have conflict resolution skills in which to discuss
differences of opinions, hurts, and other conflicts that come with bringing two different
people, from different backgrounds, and learning to live under the same roof. Many of
the issues related to couples counseling are centered on the couples' inability to
effectively communicate and ultimately resolve differences. The importance of learning
how to engage in and not avoid conflict in the first years of marriage was shown to be a
significant predictor of marital satisfaction. Pre-marital counseling, whether provided by
staff pastors or licensed professional counselors need to address this topic and provide
opportunity for couples to engage in a dialogue of their conflict resolution styles.
Jesus himself was not a stranger to conflict. He set the example of how to
engage in resolving conflict when he rebuked the Pharisees, confronted Peter, and
challenged the disciples who could not pray for Him during His most critical hour in the
garden prior to being betrayed by Judas Iscariot.
Third, the data from this study provided evidence of the need to use an
instrument that would provide a more spiritually comprehensive assessment of marital
satisfaction. Despite having both high reliability and validity from previous research, the
results from this study demonstrated that having high reliability does not necessarily
mean the instrument is valid for what is being measured in this study. The study was
108
looking specifically at spiritual aspects of marital satisfaction but the measure was too
global of an assessment of marital satisfaction. Therefore the influence of specific
spiritual beliefs and practices were not fully assessed in evaluating the spouses' marital
satisfaction. Designed purposefully for its brevity, the KMSS seemed to lack a more
complete assessment of the many factors that contribute to marital satisfaction. Other
measures should be considered in future research on the predictive nature of spiritual
disciplines on marital satisfaction.
Finally, the possibility of a spouse denying the realities of having an unhealthy
prayer life or exaggerated belief in their willingness to forgive their spouse may be a sin
issue. The prophet Jeremiah gave the people of Israel a similar word when he spoke the
word of the Lord saying,
They have healed the hurt of My people slightly, saying "Peace, peace when there
was no peace.20
The concern is on the spiritual maturity of couples as they enter into their marriage
relationship. Truthfulness and transparency are foundational to having a marriage that is
willing to admit to deficiencies in spiritual practices
Recommendations for Future Research
Fincham, Hall, and Beach, in 2006, called for more research on the
relationship between the role of the sacred and forgiveness in a marriage relationship.21
This call needs to be continued as the importance of living and walking the Christian
20Jeremiah
21Frank
6:14.
D. Fincham, Julie Hall, and Steven R. H. Beach, "Forgiveness in
Marriage: Current Status and Future Directions," Family Relations 55, (2006): 22.
109
faith cannot be taken for granted by the Church today. Further research needs to be
conducted on the relationship of worship (both personal and corporate), meditation,
service, giving, fasting, bible study, and other disciplines and the development and
maintenance of holy, satisfying marriage.
In the early 20th century the emergence of modern secular psychology robbed
the Church of its theologically sound counseling principles leading to the development of
"new theoretical approaches" to dealing with abnormal human behavior. The Church
needs to take its place in defending and maintaining the theological historicity of
disciplines such as prayer and forgiveness. These are not psychological constructs, but
biblically sound doctrines of the Church, established by God for the benefit of His
children that they might have a close, intimate relationship with Him and each other.
Researching these spiritual disciplines will help Christians who have been called to serve
God's kingdom as licensed professional counselors, and pastors of local churches to gain
more insight and understanding in human behavior and how to address issues that are
interfering with the abundant life Christ has for every believer.
The development of uniquely Christian instruments to measure these spiritual
disciplines is also called for in order to have a more accurate assessment of concepts such
as marital happiness, satisfaction, and holiness. The Christian couple who marries enters
into a covenant with God and each other to live and love one another from a uniquely
biblical perspective. Measuring the level of satisfaction based upon uniquely Christian
concepts such as husbands loving their wives as Christ loves the Church, and submission
of the wife to the husband as unto the Lord need to be assessed by the development of
instruments that define clearly, from a biblical-worldview what these roles mean. Is the
110
husband leading his wife in the practice of prayer both individually and together? Do
couples place a high priority on sharing prayer needs with each other, being transparent
to seek from the other intercessory appeals to God on their behalf? Perhaps prayer would
be different in a couple's marriage because prayer would become more of a lifestyle than
a ritual obligation.
In the same way forgiveness might take on a more intentional role in a
couple's life. Would there be more willingness to engage in conflict, knowing that the
heart of the spouse is to be forgiving thereby seeking healing and reconciliation? Is it
likely that there would be less instances of anger that goes unexpressed and more
effective conflict resolution of issues whose potential for greater harm is increased by the
suppression of emotions? Perhaps forgiveness would be different in a couple's marriage
because there would be the realization that at the heart of any conflict can be the
knowledge that the each spouse loves the other and desires to find strength, healing, and
freedom that comes from the giving and receiving of forgiveness.
Research needs to also be conducted to examine the implications of addressing
these disciplines in a more comprehensive pre-marital counseling program. Much of the
material that is currently available to the licensed professional counselor, and or the local
church pastor is weak on depth of content in helping to prepare couples for the challenges
of marriage. The Prepare and Enrich pre-marital material is nationally recognized and
widely used by many counselors and pastors. However even this material addresses the
spiritual aspect of a couples' relationship on a more surface level. There is a need for
material that will require the engaged couple to examine their own personal Christian
walk and identify areas of weaknesses and strengths which will impact the future
Ill
marriage relationship.
Further research is also called for to expand the population to include couples
who express their faith in other Protestant denominations. Comparisons to assess the
differences between the couples who attend different denominations may provide insight
into the belief and practice of spiritual disciplines and lead to consideration as to how
spiritual disciplines are taught in a church's discipleship program. Expanding the
research to include a broader length of time married is also called for to gain a better
understanding of the relationship of spiritual disciplines and reported marriage
satisfaction.
The goal of engaged couples should not be to merely get married, but to
understand what it means to be married. Empirical data, built upon the foundation of
Scripture, needs to be born out of sound biblical/psychological research from which more
comprehensive counseling can be provided in the hope of curbing the divorce trends that
are infecting the Church today.
CHAPTER SIX
THEOLOGICAL REFLECTIONS
Theological Insights and Implications
Christian husbands and wives have been engaged in constant attacks by the
forces of Satan since God placed man in the garden, created woman, and gave them the
freedom to choose to love, respect, worship, and fellowship with each other and Him.
Throughout all of history there has never been a time when the schemes of Satan were
not leveled against those who strove, and are striving today to follow in obedience to the
commands of God. The pinnacle of creation was the family; husband and wife being
brought together in marriage through the love of God, by God, to be, among other things,
the procreators of godly offspring.1
Theological Implications for Marriage
The attack by Satan, in the garden, was in part an attack against the marriage
relationship. His attempt was to bring division, accusation, and separation in marriage
and between God and the family, to which end he succeeded as is recorded in the Genesis
account,
"So when the women saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant
to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She
also gave to her husband with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both of them were
opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and
made themselves coverings....Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him,
'Malachi 2:15
112
113
'Where are you?' So he said, 'I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid
because I was naked; and I hid myself.' And he said, 'Who told you that you were
naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should
not eat?' Then the man said, 'The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave
me of the tree and I ate.' And the Lord God said to the woman, 'What is this you
have done?' The woman said, 'The serpent deceived me and I ate.'" (Genesis 2:6-7;
9-13)
It was at this point in the fall of man, when Adam spoke to God saying, "The
woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree and I ate," that division in
the family first occurred. Adam blamed his spouse and ultimately God for the sin that
they both chose. The marriage which God created to be in fellowship with him was now
in a state of separation from God by sin. It is a separation between husband and wife,
with blame being the first expression from which more sinful actions and attitudes would
follow, including distrust, adultery, verbal and emotional abuse, jealousy, and fear to
name a few. It effectively placed a strain upon the oneness that marriage was established
to be between husband and wife and between the couple and God. The centuries have
yielded no less attack against the marital relationship with the divorce rate indicating that
this pinnacle of creation, the foundation upon which godly offspring are to be produced
and raised is in danger of becoming a "garment of violence."
The condition of the Christian marriage should be alarming to both pastor and
counselor alike. There appears to be a growing disconnect in marriage between man and
wife and God. God established the marriage relationship because he saw that it was not
2Malachi
2:16. The prophet Malachi provides imagery as to the act of intent
regarding marriage in the Old Testament by a man towards a woman as evidenced in
Ruth 3:9. The concept of covering meant a proposal of marriage, which is what Boaz
was making, upon the condition that a relative who was closer to Ruth would be
unwilling to take her as his wife.
114
good that Adam was alone and that he needed another.3 God also intended for marriage
to bring happiness to each spouse, specifically providing for new husbands a specific
exemption from military service to, "bring happiness to his wife whom he has taken."4
Theologically, as noted in the review of literature, Christ needs to be the head of the
home so that the Christian home demonstrates to the world that Jesus Christ is the
motivating force for complete marital satisfaction, inclusive of happiness and holiness.
Marital satisfaction is defined then in terms that go beyond external influences that can
produce enjoyment and happiness in the marriage, going to the core of what brings
complete satisfaction in marriage - a relationship each spouse has in Christ and the
influence that Christ has on the relationship between the husband and wife.
There appears, however to be a fragmenting that is resulting in marital
satisfaction among Christian couples seemingly being defined by influences that have
less to do with a growing and maturing relationship in Christ and more to do with
temporal experiences and influences. This lack of attention to discipleship in the
marriage through spiritual disciplines leads spouses to focus more upon earthly sources of
marital satisfaction and less on complete marital satisfaction that is centered on Christ, or
in living, what Watchman Nee has termed the normal Christian life.5
The challenge confronting the pastor and counselor today is helping couples to
understand the incredible power for more healthy and more satisfying marriages found in
3Genesis
2:18.
4Deuteronomy
5Watchman
24:5.
Nee, The Normal Christian Life, (Wilder Publications: Radford,
VA.): 2008. Nee's work was originally written in 1939.
115
a life yielded to the Holy Spirit and lived in obedience to the commands of God. While
happiness can be experienced in marriages that do not have a Christian foundation, the
depth and fullness of that satisfaction will be less than those marriages where the spouses
are committed to growing in a faith relationship with Jesus Christ. It appears the message
from the church is on the importance of living a Christian life, but is the Church
providing the necessary discipleship that teaches a couple how to live just such a life.
Paul wrote to the church at Galatia these words, "If we live in the Spirit, let us
also walk in the Spirit." (Galatians 5:25, NKJV). The word used by Paul in this verse for
"walk" is the Greek word axoixe© and defines the believer's walk in the life of Christ as
being "in line" with the Spirit of God.6 The word means "to be drawn up in line or to be
in line with a person or thing considered as standard for one's conduct."7 The Christian
life, when fully experienced, is not aimless nor without order. It is not repressive. The
Christian life is nothing short of radical in nature as one falls in line with the standard that
was set by the Lord Jesus Christ. Incorporating the spiritual disciplines into a marriage
requires, even demands of each spouse, that they chose to reject the culture's standards
and expectations for marriage and embrace a new lifestyle and new standard of living that
is countercultural.
Theological Implications for Prayer
Prayer is the Christian's lifeline to living in obedience to God. It is a
6Leander
E. Keck, ed., The New Interpreter's Bible: A Commentary in Twelve
Volumes, vol. XI. (Nashville: Abingdon Press, 2000): 328-329.
Frederick William Danger, ed., A Greek-English Lexicon of the New
Testament and other Early Christian Literature," 3rd ed., (BDAG). (Chicago: The
University of Chicago Press, 2000), 946.
116
partnership between God and his children for the working of His will and purposes. The
prayers of the believer will not effectually change what God desires to do. Erickson
makes the point that prayer is the means by which a believer creates the proper mindset to
be able to receive what God has for him.8 In other words, it puts the believer in
agreement with God for the completion of his purpose for their life. Jesus modeled the
importance of prayer for his disciples. Mark shares in his gospel of how Jesus, after an
evening of healing and exorcisms got up, "very early in the morning"9 to find a solitary
place where he could pray to the Father. Jesus needed to have time with the Father to
gain the strength, physically, spiritually and emotionally to face the temptations and
crises that he faced.10 It is evident throughout the ministry of Jesus Christ prayer was a
discipline he practiced in order to have full communion with the Trinity. Jesus' soul was
heavy with the burdens that human beings experienced; a dimension that is emotive and
responsive. Therefore his prayers were not a pretense but revelatory of one who was,
"capable of joy in God, happy to withdraw from the world for a time to converse with the
Father,"11 and share with all humanity his own human condition and agony. Theologian
Karl Barth, writing on prayer, makes the statement that Christians can live according to
the commands of God in the gospels, but to do so must, "listen to what is told us about
prayer and ask God himself to come to our aid, to instruct us, to give us the possibility of
8Millard
Erickson, "Christian Theology:" (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book
House, 1989), 406.
9Mark
1:35 (NKJV).
10Tremper
Longman III and David E. Garland, eds., The Expositor's Bible
Commentary, rev. ed. (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2010), 718-719.
"Thomas C. Oden, Systematic Theology, vol 2. The Word of Life. (Peabody
117
17
walking in this path."
The couples in this study were praying. Their scoring on the MPI indicated
that their prayer life consisted of praying 5 days a week, 2.5 times per day. It was
anticipated that there would have been a correlation between their prayer practices and
their reported marital satisfaction. However this was not the case. The regression model
showed that the adjusted R Square for the correlation between forgiveness and prayer
was .041 and not significant (see Table A5 in Appendix 19). While there are no clear
indicators as to what made the greatest contribution to the 95.9% of the variance that was
unaccounted for in marital satisfaction one glaring statistic was found. The average time
spent in prayer in this study was 46.37 minutes by the husbands and 51.69 minutes per
week by the wives as shown in histograms for both husbands and wives (see Figures A5
and A6 in Appendix 25 and 26 respectively). The scores on the MPI show that spouses
average 2.5 minutes per prayer time. The question of complacency needs to be addressed
by those who would counsel Christian couples regarding the importance of prayer as a
spiritual discipline in their marriage. It is not a natural activity for man to pray.
11
Just as faith needed to believe in Christ for salvation is a gift, so too prayer is
a gift from God. Paul wrote to the church at Rome how we as believers do not know
MA: Hendrickson Publishers, Inc., 2006), 126.
l2Barth,
Karl, Prayer According to the Catechisms of the Reformation, trans.
Sara F. Terrien. (Philadelphia, PA: The Westminster Press, 1946), 17-18.
11
Ephesians 2:8. The first of two balancing negatives by Paul in this passage,
"and this not from yourselves," emphasizes that the initiative and activity for grace is
from God which further implies that faith is a part of the grace gift of God for salvation.
Peter T. O'Brien, "The Pillar New Testament Commentary: Letter to the Ephesians,"
(Grand Rapids: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1999), 175.
118
what we should pray for as we ought (Romans 8:26, NKJV) therefore we need God's
intercession. Jesus taught us how to pray so that our conversations with the Father are
neither ostentatious nor full of babbling.14 Garrett writes on the content of prayer noting
the various "moods of Christian prayer"15 include confession. Garrett defines confession
as, "the acknowledgment by man of his sin and of his need of divine forgiveness."16
Prayer is man's presupposition of viewing himself as a created being who, while
affirming his sinfulness, recognizes his worth in the eyes of God through the redemption
that comes in a relationship with Jesus Christ. Prayer needs to be a time of both worship
and confession; concern for individual needs and the needs of others. It needs to bring
the believer into a realization of total dependency upon God. God is never without man
because of Jesus Christ, who is humanity's representative before God. The Father looks
at humanity through Jesus, who is the son of God and has prayed, and is still praying
such that as we pray in Jesus' name our prayers will not go unanswered because it is
Jesus Christ who is in essence praying them through us on our behalf.
t
Couples, in order to have complete satisfaction in their marriages, need to be
challenged with the truth of prayer. Research has demonstrated that couples who engage
14Davies
and Allison consider the word "babble" to have three possibilities
regarding usage in this context. First, it is from the Aramaic "batel" meaning
"thoughtless, in effectual" speech; second from "fiarog plus Xeyeiv, meaning futile
exertion; or third from Parrapp^co, meaning "stutter, stammer." W.D. Davies, and Dale
C. Allison Jr.,"The Gospel According to Matthew," vol. 1, International Critical
Commentary. (Edinburgh: T and T Clark, 1988), 587-588.
15James
Leo Garrett, "A Theology of Prayer," Southwestern Journal of
Theology 22, no. 1 (Spring 1972): 4.
I6Ibid.
17Barth,
Prayer According to the Catechisms of the Reformation, 22.
119
in prayer, inviting God into their relationship whereby creating a triangulation between
themselves and God, can be helpful for religious couples during times of increased
anxiety.18 This describes the benefit of having an intimate prayer life as a couple. When
a couple comes into agreement in prayer regarding the necessary response to identified
stressors that produce anxiety and potential stress in the marital relationship they are
practicing a level of intimacy that leads to a more fuller satisfaction in the marriage
relationship.19
Prayer is not about seeking to manipulate God or attempting to change what
God purposes to accomplish. While the couples' request may not be answered as they
desire, it is biblically clear that God will always answer prayer in a manner that is
beneficial for the Christian and glorifying to the Lord's name.
Prayer is God's
expressed desire to work in partnership with man and is therefore the means through
which he accomplishes his intended purposes. Prayer creates a correct mindset in the
Christian and makes a couple open to God's will for their lives and marriage. It is this
type of prayer that couples must learn how to engage in through intentional discipleship
18Gardner,
et al., "En-Gendering the Couple-Deity Relationship: Clincial
Implications of Power and Process," 153.
19Butler,
et al., found couples who engaged in triangulated Deity involvement,
through prayer in their marriage, reported emotional self-validation and partner empathy;
mindfulness and personal responsibility for relationship reconciliation and problem
solving; a reduction of negativity, hostility, and emotional reactivity leading to healing
processes that aided in conflict resolution and improved relationship dynamics. Mark H.
Butler, J. S. Stout, and B. C. Gardner, "Prayer as a Conflict Resolution Ritual: Clincial
Implications for Religious Couples Reports of Relationship Softening, Healing
Perspective, and Change Responsibility," American Journal of Family Therapy 30
(2002): 19-37.
20Psalm
84:11 (NKJV).
120
teaching in the Church. The desire to be with and converse with the Father cannot be
accomplished by the faulty belief in 46 - 52 minutes a week being sufficient to
understand and be equipped to follow Christ. The danger in this belief is that of a
humanistic perspective in which man believes he is sufficient unto himself without the
need for divine guidance or intervention.
Forsyth perhaps makes the definitive
statement regarding the implications of prayer for the married Christian couple,
Prayer is often represented as the great means of the Christian life. But it is no mere
means; it is the great end of that life. It is, of course, not untrue to call it a means. It
is so, especially at first. But at last it is truer to say that we live the Christian life in
order to pray than that we pray in order to live the Christian life.22
Theological Implications for Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a spiritual discipline which noted author C.S. Lewis once
remarked was a good idea until one had to practice it.23 God delights in providing the
blessing of forgiveness through tenderheartedness, mercy, and kindness.24 Jesus'
seriousness of forgiveness was born out of his regard for sin as being the inexcusable
departure from God's holy law, as being a strangling force upon the soul, and as being an
inward issue of the heart.
When Jesus taught on forgiveness each situation had a
purpose and point in establishing the need for seeking, asking, and receiving forgiveness
2'Garrett,
22Peter
A Theology of Prayer, 15.
Taylor Forsyth, "The Soul of Prayer," (London: Epworth Press, 1920):
18.
23C.S.
Lewis,"Mere Christianity," (New York: Harper Collins Publishers,
2001): 15.
24Deuteronomy
25William
5:10; Psalm 103:8-14.
Hendricksen, "New Testament Commentary: Exposition of the
121
- from God and from man. These teachings tell of how forgiveness is to be given to one
another just as God himself offers forgiveness to mankind.
Jesus had dinner with a Pharisee named Simon and the opportunity arose for
Jesus to illustrate forgiveness and explain his mission and purpose in reaching out to
sinners.26 Speaking about forgiveness Jesus uses a financial term xapi&fiai a verb used
to refer to the remitting of a debt by a lender to a debtor.27 Such an act would be
considered extraordinary even though there is precedent for just such an action taught in
Deuteronomy 15 and Leviticus 25:8-17.28 What is important to note in this parable, as it
relates to marital satisfaction among those couples who practice this spiritual discipline,
is the combining of forgiveness with unmerited love. When a Christian husband extends
forgiveness to his wife, or when a Christian wife extends forgiveness to her husband it is
an offer of mercy and compassion, not based upon the acts of the offender, but the
outward expression of love in the heart, mind, and soul of the forgiver. The offender has
not earned forgiveness, but receives this gift of compassion and mercy because of the
other spouses' love of Christ and desire to be obedient to the command to forgive.29 We
Gospel According to Luke." (Grand Rapids: Baker Book House, 1978): 296.
26Luke
27"A
Literature,"
7:40-50.
Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament and other Early Christian
(BDAG), 1078.
3rd ed.,
28Darrell
L. Bock, Luke, Baker Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament,
vol. 1, (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 1994), 698-699.
29Paul,
in speaking of the character of the new man we become in Christ, wrote
to the church at Colossae these words; "Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved,
put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one
another; if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you
also must do." Colossians 3:12,13.
122
cannot cry for mercy ourselves nor demand justice without compassion for others. It is
love that motivates one to offer the act of forgiveness to another. Jesus himself associates
the act of forgiveness with the expression of love.
The one who recognizes his fault in offending his spouse and upon confession
receives the gift of forgiveness from the spouse will be able to more fully experience the
love of God being expressed through his spouse, drawing them closer together and
experience greater satisfaction in the marriage. McCullough et al., found that the act of
forgiving, when occurring frequently in a marriage, will result in a committed close
relationship and is associated with restored relational closeness following an offense.31
When a spouse is forgiven much, he will love much, just as a sinner who recognizes their
condition and need for God's grace and forgiveness for salvation will, as a result, love
»
•
m
God in a deeper way than the one who believes they have little to be forgiven.
Hendricksen notes, "...the outpouring of love results from the sense of having been
forgiven."33 Such an example is seen in Mary, the sister of Martha and Lazarus,
anointing the feet of Jesus.34 Love for the Lord and thereby for one's spouse is the result
of understanding and practicing the spiritual discipline of forgiveness.
King David penned words that represent the importance of forgiveness. He
30Bock,
699. There is no specific verb for the word "to thank" in Aramaic or
Hebrew, thus the idea of agapao is used similar to that found in Psalm 116:1.
31McCullough,
32Luke
etal.,: 1594.
7:47.
33William
Hendricksen, "New Testament Commentary: Exposition of the
Gospel According to Luke,'''' (Grand Rapids: Baker Book House, 1978), 409.
34John
12:1-8.
123
understood the importance of brokenness in response to sin and the need for presenting a
contrite heart to find spiritual healing. While at least one commentator tries to make the
case that David's words in Psalm 51 are about physical healing, that it is a psalm of
lament regarding ill health,35 this position is not supported when examining the word
usage by David in speaking of imagery familiar to the writer and reader (e.g. "crushed
bones" found in Psalm 103:3), and the psalms petition for forgiveness of sin in order to
create a new heart, reminiscent of Ezekiel's prophecy (Ezekiel 36). Hossfeld comments,
Thus one should classify and interpret our psalm, with the majority of exegetes, as a
'penitential psalm' or as 'prayer petitioning for forgiveness of sins and new
creation."36
Forgiveness, in marriage, is effectual to both the forgiver and the one being
forgiven. For the one being forgiven it is a spiritual discipline that allows them to seek
healing, first from God and then also their spouse, for past and present sins so that a
renewal can be established in the respective relationships. It is only then that
transformation is possible for the individual and the relationship that was damaged.
Forgiveness also has benefit for the offended. Worthington, in developing his
R.E.A.C.H. model of forgiveness, focuses upon the mutual benefit that forgiveness
provides after an offense. The offended who is able to recall the hurt experienced by the
actions of the offender, empathize with the offender, extend the altruistic gift of
forgiveness, make the commitment to forgive, and then hold onto the forgiveness will
experience a freedom from the bondage of anger, bitterness, hatred, and resentment.
35Wurthwein,
36Frank
"Bermerkungen," 383-385.
Lothar Hossfeld and Erich Zenger, "Psalms 2: A Commentary on
Psalm 51-100," ed. Klaus Baltzer, trans. Linda M. Maloney (Minneapolis, MN: Fortress
Press, 2001), 15.
124
Worthington has written, "You can't hurt the perpetrator by not forgiving, but you can set
yourself free by forgiving."37 Thus, the act of forgiving provides an emotional and
spiritual freedom for the offended. Couples who are not able to confess to the Lord their
sins, will find it difficult to confess to one another their sins, as instructed by James
(James 5:12). Thus relationships go unhealed and problems become deeper seeded with
the potential for the root of bitterness to take hold and blossom into thorns of criticism.
Criticism, according to John Gottman, inevitably makes marriage relationships worse.38
The importance of forgiveness in the life of the believer is seen in the hope of enduring
transformation,
Essentially, what is expressed here is an eschatological hope surpassing all historical
experiences or even possibilities, expecting, beyond liberation from the present
situation and a unique instance of a new start, and enduring, final change in one's
own self, a deep, abiding transformation of the human being in his secret core.39
It is also clear from Scripture that forgiveness is something that we have been
given authority to convey to a person. Jesus, appearing to his disciples as recorded by the
Apostle John, commissioned them by breathing upon them the Holy Spirit thus
empowering them and giving them the authority to deal with sin. Morgan argues this is
the ultimate reason of the Church's mission: to deal with the issue of sin.40
Everett L. Worthington, Jr. Forgiving and Reconciling: Bridges to
Wholeness and Hope (Downers Grove, IL: Intervarsity Press, 2003), 22.
Gottman, John. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A
Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert (New York: Random
House, 1999), 264.
39Ibid.,
18.
40Morgan,
G. Campbell. The Gospel According to John. (New York, NY:
Fleming H Revell Company, 1929), 321.
125
The couples who participated in this study were highly motivated to forgive.
While the findings of the TRIM-12 scores did not correlate significantly with reported
marital satisfaction, one statistic was found that did demonstrate a statistical significance.
As reported in the chapter four, the avoidance subscale of the TRIM-12 was found to be
statistically significant with reported marital satisfaction. This finding suggests that
couples who are more proactive in conflict resolution will report greater, marital
satisfaction than those who are more avoidant. Forgiveness is an important part of a
couples' conflict resolution. It is a gracious love that seeks to resolve the wrongdoings
between two spouses in order to strengthen the marriage and so honor Christ.
Paul urged the believers at Colossae to put on the character of the new man
now that they were in Christ, including the need to bear one another's burdens and
forgive one another (Colossians 3:13). Lincoln has observed,
Bearing with others involves fully accepting them for who they are, with their
weaknesses and faults, and allowing them worth and space. The motivation and
grounds for the all-important ability to forgive others lie in the readers' own
experience of forgiveness. Knowing oneself to have been forgiven by Christ should
release the generosity required to forgive others.41
The prophet Hosea's marriage required just such a generosity. His was a
calling that mirrored God's love for an adulterous Israel by himself loving an adulterous
wife. When Hosea made the realization that his own marriage was not, at that time,
unique - that many homes were being ruined by the licentious worship of other gods, and
made the connection that the wrong done to his family was the wrong done to God by
Israel, he was then able to conceive of the relationship between God and Israel being that
41Andrew
T. Lincoln, The Letter to the Colossians: Introduction, Commentary,
and Reflections, The New Interpreter's Bible: A Commentary in Twelve Volumes, vol.
11 (Nashville: Abingdon Press, 2000), 648.
126
of husband and wife.42 Hosea exemplified how husbands should love and respect God
and out of this love express forgiveness towards a spouse. Brown notes this when he
wrote,
A man of deep feelings and sensitive nature, the most emotional of the prophets, his
own experience of outraged love enables him to understand and express the mind of
God. Reading his wife's character, he saw that she was unable to stand alone, that
the one chance for her in life lay in his being willing to help her, and that, if he gave
her up, she would only sink into deeper shame. And, looking into his own heart, he
found that he could not give her up and that, in spite of her past, he could forgive
her and take her back.43
It is only out of a love of God that a husband or wife is able to hold onto their marriage
relationship in the midst of conflict.
A great danger to couples who avoid dealing with conflict is the belief that
avoidance equates to forgiveness. Offenses, left un-forgiven can result in bitterness,
malice, and a growing desire to take revenge. Davenant, the Lord Bishop of Salisbury,
made this observation in his comments on Colossian 3:13 regarding the necessity for
believers to forgive one another:
The Apostle, therefore, would have us, not only bear an injury, but remove from our
hearts the very desire itself of revenge; nay that we should cherish a love for our
most bitter enemies.44
This is what Christ taught and modeled for Christians as recorded in the New Testament
gospels; that everyone forgive their brother from the heart (Matthew 18:35); that all
42George
Adam Smith, The Book of the Twelve Prophets Commonly Called the
Minor, vol. 1. (New York, NY: Harper and Brothers Publishers), 241-268.
43Sydney
Lawrence Brown, The Book of Hosea with Introduction and Notes
(London, UK: Methuen and Company Ltd., 1932), 35-36.
44John
Davenant, An Exposition of the Epistle of St. Paul to the Colossians, vol
2, trans. Josiah Allport. (London: Hamilton, Adams, and Company, 1832), 112.
127
believers love their enemies, doing good to them that hate you, blessing those who curse
you, and praying for those that despitefully use you (Luke 6:27,28). The benefit of such
loving confronting resulting in forgiveness among spouses is the freedom it brings both
the forgiver and the forgiven.
Conclusion
The pastor and professionally licensed counselor who is providing a couple
with Christian counseling that is based upon a biblical-world view needs to help married
couples in part by bringing attention to the importance of the spiritual disciplines of
prayer and forgiveness. Spouses need to have a biblical understanding of these two
disciplines in order to develop a prayer life established upon the scriptural truth of being
transparent with God and expressing a heart of forgiveness towards their spouse when sin
is committed in the marital relationship.
Regarding prayer, couples need to be discipled as to the appropriate nature of
prayer and the need to confess before God their negative behaviors and inappropriate
thoughts. A marriage cannot find complete marital satisfaction, inclusive of spiritual
maturity, if the spouse's prayer lives are shallow and lacking both time and depth. If the
spouse cannot make clear, with honesty, the sins in their behavior before God, it is
difficult to imagine their ability to be transparent with their spouse regarding these same
offenses. The implications for this are that couples will be basing their satisfaction in
marriage upon things other than spiritual honesty and transparency. This dissertation's
research suggests that Christian couples are expressing satisfaction in their marriages, but
that the source of that satisfaction is not correlated with the practice of prayer. It would
appear that for the couples in this study satisfaction, inclusive of happiness, is being
128
experienced by the influence of sources other than the full satisfaction that is founded
upon Christ and practiced through the spiritual disciplines of prayer and forgiveness.
Forgiveness must also be practiced in a marriage relationship if there is to be
trust established between spouses. Based upon the love that Jesus was referring to in his
parable at Simon's house, only when openness to one another is present will forgiveness
be present also. Forgiveness can be a mutually beneficial transaction providing
transformation for both the offender and the offended. However for forgiveness to be
experienced there must be contrition and release; contrition on the part of the offending
spouse, and release of the transgression by the offended spouse.45
The truth of the Scriptures need always be considered when looking at research
of human behavior. The scientific study of human behavior is not necessarily opposite to
faith found in the revelation of God through Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. They can
and should be considered together when seeking to find understanding of the interaction
between faith and human behavior.
The truth of prayer and forgiveness has been gi ven to all disciples of Jesus
Christ. Reynolds writes,
Prayer is.. .the rising up of human desires into the very purposes of grace of God,
not a change wrought by us in the mind and will of God.. .but it is in essence a
change wrought by God in us helping us to say, 'Thy will be done!' Let it be borne
in mind that this privilege of learning and uttering in our prayers the forgiving love
of God, upon the conditions of repentance and faith and a forgiving spirit is not
confined to Peter, but conferred on all the disciples."46
45Charles
L. Griswold, Forgiveness: A Philosophical Exploration (New York,
NY: Cambridge Press, 2007), 48.
46H.
R. Reynolds, "The Gospel of St. John.'''' In The Pulpit Commentary, vol. 2,
ed. H.D.M. Spence and Joseph S. Exell. (New York, NY: Funk and Wagnalls Company,
1913), 475.
129
Jesus bestowed upon the disciples the authority to forgive sins.47 The authority is limited
to acting on behalf of the Father in the power of the Spirit. It is still Jesus alone who
dismisses and holds sins,48 but believers act as his agents among the world to dismiss or
bind sins but only in accord with the will of Jesus.49 Christians therefore have both a
command and a commission to forgive others in response to the offender's confession
and repentance.
Prayer and forgiveness have been considered in this study with their respective
importance being examined as to the influence each may have on marital satisfaction
among Christian couples. This study found no correlation exists between prayer and
forgiveness and marital satisfaction among the couples who participated. It is
acknowledged that spiritual disciplines were not addressed in the secular measures of
marital satisfaction. It is possible that this may account for the lack of correlation
between these two disciplines and a Christian couples' level of marital satisfaction.
Marital satisfaction measures that more fully incorporate beliefs and practices of the
spiritual disciplines are called for to further the field of research and to determine the
effects that these disciplines have upon the marriage relationship. The truth of Scripture
is sufficient and foundational to dealing with issues faced by couples today. It is
important that the field of Christian psychology and counseling seek to develop or further
use instruments and measures that implicitly have a spiritual evaluative purpose.
47John
20:22-23.
48R.C.H.
Lenski, The Interpretation of St. John's Gospel (Minneapolis, MN:
Augsburg Publishing House, 1963), 1377.
49Ibid.
130
The MPI used in this study was useful in revealing how little the participant
couples in this study were praying. The implications of this are to develop more specific
prayer trainings as a part of ongoing discipleship training in churches. The use of the
TRIM-12 revealed that those couples who do not avoid problems in their marriages will
have greater satisfaction in their relationship. Worthington's TRIM-12 measure50 helps
the researcher to see more clearly the impact that having a high motivation to forgive can
have on marriage. Of greatest concern regarding this study was the effectiveness of the
KMSS as a measure of marital satisfaction among Christian couples. It appears that a
measure of marital satisfaction that is intentional in its evaluation of spiritual beliefs and
attitudes as they relate to a Christian couple are needed to gain a more accurate
assessment of how the spiritual disciplines interplay with other beliefs or influences upon
a couple's level of marital satisfaction.
50 McCullough,
et al., "Interpersonal Forgiving in Close Relationships, II:
Theoretical Elaboration and Measurement," 1590.
131
APPENDIX 1
HUMAN SUBJECTS RESEARCH CONSENT FORM
Introduction
Thank you for agreeing to participate in this research study on marital satisfaction. This
form will provide you a brief description of the research goals, methodology, and your
rights as a participant. If you have questions or feedback regarding the information
contained in this consent form, feel free to contact me. You may also direct any
questions or complaints regarding your participation in this study to the Chairperson of
my Ph.D. guidance committee.
Researcher: Mark W. Weston
Address: 1870 Rufe Snow Drive
Keller, Texas 76248
Phone: 817-727-2605
Chairperson: Dr. Dana Wicker
Address: P.O. Box 22426
Ft. Worth, Texas 76122
Phone: 817-923-3910
Research Goals
This research study deals with the influences of an individual spouse's attitude towards
prayer and forgiveness upon reported marital satisfaction. Information gathered from this
study will be used to further empirical study on the influence of Christian spiritual
disciplines upon the level or reported marital satisfaction of Christian marriages.
Methodology
As a married Christian couple you have the opportunity to complete two short surveys
regarding your attitude and practice of prayer and forgiveness, and a short survey on selfreported marital satisfaction with your spouse. A total of 98 couples will be participating
in this study between September and December 2010. At the end of the study period, all
completed surveys will be entered into a database and analyzed in order to determine the
predictability of a spouse's attitude toward prayer and forgiveness upon marital
satisfaction levels. All information gathered from completed surveys will be stored in a
secure, confidential, and locked file cabinet at my office. All information will not be
used in any manner that would personally identify you.
132
Participant's Rights and Consent Declaration
I understand that information about me obtained from this research will be kept strictly
confidential. I understand that excerpts from the data analysis may be quoted in a
dissertation and in future journal articles and books written by the researcher. I give my
permission for the used of this information with the understanding that my identity will
be protected at all times. I understand that my name or other identifying information will
never be disclosed or referenced in any way, in any written or verbal context. I
understand that surveys will be stored in a secure, confidential, locked filing cabinet by
the researcher, and will be destroyed after use.
I understand that participation in this study is completely voluntary. I may refuse to
participate or withdraw at any time without explanation. If I refuse to participate, or elect
to withdraw my consent to further participation in this research study, I understand that
any information I have provided up until the time of my withdrawal will be destroyed by
the researcher.
I agree to the terms set forth in this document:
Participant's Signature
Participant's Printed Name
I agree to the terms set forth in this document:
Researcher's Signature
Date
133
APPENDIX 2
PARTICIPANT SIGN-UP FORM
A study is being conducted by Mark W. Weston, a PhD. Student in Psychology
and Counseling at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, on marital satisfaction,
prayer, and forgiveness. If you are interested in being a part of the research study by
completing a study packet that will take no more than 15 minutes to complete, please sign
up and provide the information listed below.
Thank you for your interest.
Name:
Phone:
Email:
Name:
Phone:
Email:
Name:
Phone:
Email:
Name:
Phone:
Email:
Name:
Phone:
Email:
Name:
Phone:
Email:
Name:
Phone:
Email:
Name:
Phone:
Email:
Name:
Phone:
Email:
134
APPENDIX 3
EXPLANATION OF THE STUDY
I am Mark W. Weston, a Doctoral Resident at Southwestern Baptist
Theological Seminary. My research study is being conducted for the purpose of
determining the relationship between individual spouses' belief and practice of prayer
and motivation to forgive and their self-reported level of marital satisfaction. The
population that is the focus of the study is young married Christians, newly married to
eight years of marriage, who did not cohabitate prior to their marriage, and who have not
been separated or lived apart, outside of the home for reasons involving marital discord.
It is my belief that there will be a positive relationship between prayer,
forgiveness, and marital satisfaction. If the results of the study demonstrate that just such
a positive relationship exists, then additional studies can be conducted using other
spiritual disciplines (meditation, fasting, worship, service, and bible study) to determine
if they too would have a positive relationship in predicting marital satisfaction.
It is hoped that the results of a series of studies involving the spiritual
disciplines will provide an empirical foundation in establishing pre-marital counseling
materials pastors and Christian counselors can use in helping to prepare a young couple
for the lifelong commitment of marriage.
135
APPENDIX 4
LETTER OF INVITATION TO THE PASTOR OF DISCIPLESHIP AND SMALL
GROUPS
Dear (pastor's name):
Thank you for your willingness to assist me in this research study. As I indicated during
our phone conversation, I am a doctoral resident at Southwestern Baptist Theological
Seminary in the Psychology and Counseling Division of the Jack D. Terry School of
Church and Family Ministry. My areas of interest are strengthening Christian couple's
marriages and developing a sound biblically based approach to pre-marital and marital
counseling in the prayerful hope of seeing the percentage of divorce rate among Christian
couples reduced.
Having served in churches across our convention, in para-church organizations, and
currently as a professionally licensed, fulltime Christian counselor I have witnessed first­
hand the increasing struggles among Christian couples. As a pastor on the front lines of
ministry, you also witness the struggles that many marriages face today.
All information gathered from this study will be kept in strict confidence. Results of the
study will be offered to each participating couple. Through the results of these surveys, I
hope to better understand the influence of prayer and forgiveness as predictors of marital
satisfaction among Christian couples and use the information for further research in
developing premarital and marital counseling that is inclusive of using the spiritual
disciplines to bring holiness, happiness, and wholeness to Christian marriages.
I look forward to bringing you enough surveys for couples whom you identify as meeting
the research criteria. If you have any questions prior to our meeting please contact me.
Sincerely,
Mark W. Weston, MA, MDiv., LPC, AACC
Doctoral Resident
817-727-2605
mwweston@elearning.swbts.edu
136
APPENDIX 5
MULTI-DIMENSIONAL PRAYER INVENTORY
Gender:
Male
Female
Age:
Date:
Directions Part 1: The following questions have been written to better understand
private prayer. To assist you in answering these questions, scales are provided which
consist of several numbers along with corresponding descriptions. Please circle ONE
number on each scale that corresponds with the description that best indicates how you
have privately prayed during the past month (other than during religious attendance).
***If you do not pray in private, please go directly to question #21***
1. During the average week of this past month, I prayed approximately:
0
No
days/
week
1
One
day/
week
3
4
Three
day/
week
Four
day/
week
2
Two
day/
week
6
7
Six
day/
week
Seven
day/
week
5
Five
day/
week
***If you have not prayed during the past month, please go directly to question
#21***
2. On the day(s) that I did pray, I would estimate that I typically prayed
time(s)
during the course of the day. (Please fill in one number that is your best
estimate).
3. My prayers typically lasted for approximately:
0
A few
seconds
1
2
1/2
min.
1
min.
3
2
min.
4
3-5
mins.
5
6-10
mins.
6
11-20
mins.
7
21+
mins.
137
Directions Part 2: Now, using the scale provided below, please answer the following
questions according to how often during the month your prayers included each of the
activities described below. For example, if you circle the number "4", this indicates that
"About half the time" your prayers during the last month included the described
activity. (Note: Some prayers combine these different activities. Also, do not be
concerned if some items appear to overlap one another.)
Never
Little
of the
time
Some
half the
time
About
half the
time
Much
of the
time
Most
of the
time
4
5
6
4
5
6
All
of the
time
1
4. I made specific requests.
1
2
3
5. I offered thanks for specific things.
1
2
3
6. I tried to be open to receiving new understanding of my problems.
1
2
3
4
5
6
3
4
5
6
7. I worshiped God.
1
2
8. I admitted inappropriate thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
1
2
3
4
5
6
5
6
4
5
6
4
5
6
9. I expressed my appreciation for my circumstances.
1
2
3
4
10.1 tried to be receptive to wisdom and guidance.
1
2
3
11.1 made various requests of God.
1
2
3
7
138
12.1 confessed things that I had done wrong.
1
2
3
4
5
3
4
5
13.1 praised God.
1
2
14.1 opened myself up to God for insight into my problems.
1
2
3
4
5
15.1 thanked God for things occurring in my life.
1
2
3
4
5
16.1 asked for assistance with my daily problems.
1
2
3
4
5
17.1 acknowledged faults and misbehavior.
1
2
3
4
5
18.1 devoted time to honoring the positive qualities of God.
1
2
3
4
5
Directions Part 3: Please rate the degree to which prayers have an effect using the
following two questions (#s 19 and 20):
19.1 believe that my prayers have an effect on my life.
1
2
3
4
5
6
Strongly
Agree
Neutral
Strongly
Disagree
7
20.1 believe that my prayers have an effect on other people's lives.
1
Strongly
Disagree
2
3
4
Neutral
5
6
Strongly
Agree
139
APPENDIX 6
TRANSGRESSION-RELATED INTERPERSONAL MOTIVATIONS MEASURE
(TRIM-12)
For the following question, please indicate your current thoughts and feelings
about the person (your spouse) who hurt you. Use the following scale to indicate your
agreement with each of the questions.
1 = Strongly Disagree 2 = Disagree 3 = Neutral 4 = Agree 5 = Strongly Agree
1. I'll make him/her pay.
2. I keep as much distance between us as possible.
3. I wish that something bad would happen to him/her.
4. I live as if he/she doesn't exist, isn't around.
5. I don't trust him/her.
6. I want him/her to get what he/she deserves.
7. I find it difficult to act warmly toward him/her.
8. I avoid him/her.
9. I'm going to get even.
10.1 cut off the relationship with him/her.
11.1 want to see him/her hurt and miserable.
12.1 withdraw from him/her.
140
APPENDIX 7
KANSAS MARTIAL SATISFACTION SCALE©
Please read each statement and ask yourself "How much do I agree?" There is no right or
wrong answers. The best answer is the one that describes your personal view. Select the
response that best indicates how much you agree with each statement.
1. How satisfied are you with your marriage?
2. How satisfied are you with your husband/wife as a spouse?
3. How satisfied are you with your relationship with your husband/wife?
SCORE (1-7)
1 = Extremely dissatisfied 2 = Very dissatisfied
3 = Somewhat dissatisfied
4 = Mixed 5 = Somewhat satisfied 6 = Very satisfied 7 = Extremely satisfied
© Walter Schumm.
141
APPENDIX 8
DEMOGRAPHIC SURVEY
I.D. #
Name:
Age:
Gender:
Ethnicity:
M
F
White, Non-Hispanic
African American
Hispanic
Latino
Asian
Polynesian
Native American
Native Alaskan
Other:
First marriage:
YES
NO
Years married:
Number of marriages:
Cohabitated prior to marriage: YES
NO
Wedding anniversary date:
/
Separations during marriage:
YES
/
NO
Christian: I acknowledge that Jesus Christ is God's Son and confess that He is the only
way to a relationship with God the Father leading to eternal life in heaven: YES NO
Church attending:
Church member:
YES
NO
142
APPENDIX 9
LETTER OF INVITATION AND APPRECIATION
Dear Participant:
Having served as an associate church pastor, and a licensed professional Christian
counselor I have a deep concern for the struggles many Christian marriages face.
Currently I am finishing my Ph.D. at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in
Psychology and Counseling. I am studying the effects of prayer and forgiveness upon
marital satisfaction. It is hoped that by studying these two Christian spiritual disciplines,
a positive prediction can be made that spiritual disciplines provide more experiences of
reported marital happiness and further extend the research by exploring the effects of the
other spiritual disciplines upon marital satisfaction.
You recently received a research packet from your pastor of discipleship and small
groups. This packet contains surveys for a research study I am conducting on marital
satisfaction among Christian couples. I want to thank you for agreeing to participate in
this study on marital satisfaction. Your involvement will assist me in researching the
effects of prayer and forgiveness upon reported marital satisfaction. If you have not yet
received your packet please contact me and I will send one to you immediately.
Each packet contains three short surveys that will take no more than 30 minutes to
complete, and a short demographic survey. Once you have completed the surveys, and
for your convenience, place them into the self-addressed, stamped envelope and return
them to me. Your surveys will be entered into a statistical program along with all other
respondents' surveys and be statistically analyzed. Your surveys will be held in strict
confidence with only my committee chair, Dr. Dana Wicker, and my committee member,
Dr. Teri Stovall, having access to your surveys.
Thank you for your willingness to be a participant in this very important research. I look
forward to receiving your surveys. If you have any questions, please contact me and I
will be glad to visit with you.
Sincerely,
Mark W. Weston, MA, MDiv., LPC
Doctoral Resident
817-727-2605
mwweston@elearnine.swbts.edu
142
APPENDIX 10
MATERIAL DELIVERY TRACKING SHEET
Name
Study I.D. #
Date received by couple:
Name
Study I.D. #
Date received by couple:
Name
Study I.D. #
Date received by couple:
Name
Study I.D. #
Date received by couple:
Name
Study I.D. #
Date received by couple:
144
APPENDIX 11
LETTER OF ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF RETURNED MATERIAL
Dear
:
This is to notify you that your study packet and completed measures have been received
by my office.
I want to personally thank you for taking the time to participate in the research study on
prayer, forgiveness, and marital satisfaction. Your having taken time to complete the
research questions will provide me with the necessary data that will be used, along with
future studies on the relationship of spiritual disciplines and marriage, to produce a pre­
marital, and marriage counseling materials that can be used by pastors and Christian
counselors in guiding couples through the process of preparing for and experiencing
satisfaction in a lifetime commitment of marriage.
If you indicated on the demographic survey a wish to have the results of the study, I will
be sending them to you in the coming weeks.
Thank you again for your assistance in this research study.
Blessings,
Mark W. Weston, MA, MDiv., LPC
Doctoral Resident
Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary
145
APPENDIX 12
PERMISSION TO USE THE MPI
To: mwweston@elearning.swbts.edu
Cc:
Bcc:
Add Cc | Add Bcc
Subject: Multidimensional Prayer Inventory Permission and Scoring Key Request
Mark,
Attached is what you will need to use the inventory.
Good luck in your research.
If you still need to talk with me, give me a call at the number below.
Michael A. Rapoff, Ph.D.
Ralph L. Smith Professor of Pediatrics
University of Kansas Medical Center
Department of Pediatrics
3901 Rainbow Blvd.
Kansas City, KS 66160-7330
Office Phone: 913-588-6323
Fax: 913-588-2253
MRAPOFF@kumc.edu
146
APPENDIX 13
PERMISSION TO USE THE TRIM-12
To: mwweston@elearning.swbts.edu
Cc:
Bcc:
Add Cc | Add Bcc
Permission to use the TRIM-12 and corresponding scoring key
To: markweston@northwoodchurch.org
Mark:
You have permission to use the TRIM. We have other subscales as well—a benevolence
one and a conciliation one. The TRIM measures motivations. Add subscales. The
Revenge and avoidance motivations give unforgiveness motives; the benevolence and
conciliation subscales give forgiving motivations.
The items are scored very transparently by adding scores on each item.
There are 5 Revenge and 7 avoidance items.
Ev
Everett L. Worthington, Jr.
Professor of Psychology
Box 842018
806 West Franklin Street (Mailing)
800 West Franklin Street, Room 101 (Office, do not use for mailing)
Richmond, VA 23284-2018
804-828-1150
804-828-2237 (FAX)
eworth@vcu.edu
147
APPENDIX 14
PERMISSION TO USE THE KMSS
To:schumm@k-state.edu
Cc:
Bcc:
Add Cc | Add Bcc
Permission to use the KMSS and corresponding scoring key.
Hello Dr. Schumm:
I am a doctoral resident conducting research on prayer and forgiveness as predictors of
marital satisfaction. As a part of my research I would like to use the KMSS as one of my
instruments.
I would like to request permission to use the KMSS and corresponding scoring key.
My future studies will include research on the inward and outward spiritual disciplines, as
outlined and written about by Dr. Richard J. Foster, and their impact upon reported
marital satisfaction among Christian couples.
Thank you for considering my request. I look forward to your response.
Sincerely,
Mark Weston, MA, MDiv., LPC
Doctoral Resident
Adjunct Professor
Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary
817-727-2605
148
APPENDIX 15
Table A1. Scoring for the MPI Qualitative Prayer
Adoration
Supplication
Confession
Thanksgiving
Reception
Focus is upon worship and
praise of God
Request for God's
intervention on specific life
events
Faults, misdeeds or
shortcomings are
acknowledged
Expressions of gratitude for
life circumstances
Passively awaits divine
wisdom or guidance
Items: 4,10, 15
Items: 1, 8,13
Items: 5,9,14
Items: 2, 6, 12
Items: 3, 7,11
149
APPENDIX 16
Table A2. Demographic Descriptive Statistics
Ethnicity
Frequency
Percent
Cumulative Percent
White-non Hispanic
91
92.9
92.9
Asian
1
1.0
93.9
Hispanic
3
3.1
96.9
Latino
1
1.0
98.0
Other
2
98
2.0
100.0
100.0
100.0
20-24
13
13.3
13.3
25-29
40
40.8
54.1
30-34
30
30.6
84.7
35-39
77.1
91.8
40+
98
88.2
100.0
100.0
100.0
One year
24
24.5
24.5
Two years
Three years
4
14.3
6.1
38.8
44.9
Four years
Five years
0
20.4
6.1
65.3
71.4
Six years
Seven years
Eight years
4
14.3
6.1
8.2
100.0
85.7
91.8
100.0
100.0
Total
Age
Total
Years Married
Total
98
Table 4. KMSS Descriptive Data
150
APPENDIX 17
Table A3. Demographic Statistics of Churches in the Study
Frequency
Percent
Cumulative Percent
2
5
2
1
20.0
50.0
20.0
10.0
20.0
70.0
90.0
100.0
10
100.0
100.0
5
5
50.0
50.0
50.0
100.00
Attendance
2000 +
1000-1999
500-999
0-499
Worship
Contemporary
Bible Study
Sunday School
Home Teams
151
APPENDIX 18
Table A4. Multicollinearity Statistics for the Independent Variables
Tolerance
VIF
Prayer
.992
1.008
Forgiveness
.992
1.008
152
APPENDIX 19
Table A5. Regression Model for Prayer and Forgiveness
Model 1
Prayer and
Forgiveness
R
R Square
Adjusted R
Square
Sig.
.202
.041
.020
.139
153
APPENDIX 20
Table A6. Pearson Correlation for Prayer and Forgiveness
SATMARRIAGE
Pearson Correlation
N
TRIM12
SATMARRIAGE
1.000
.073
-.194
QUALPRAYER
.073
1.000
-.093
-.194
-.093
1.000
.238
.028
TRIM12
Sig. (1-tailed)
QUALPRAYER
SATMARRIAGE
QUALPRAYER
.238
TR1M12
.028
.182
SATMARRIAGE
98
98
98
QUALPRAYER
98
98
98
TRIM12
98
98
98
.182
154
Mean = 6.45E-16
Std. Dev. = 0.995
N = 98
155
Mean = 79.69
Std. Dev. = 15.141
N = 98
156
APPENDIX 23
Mean = 19.29
Std. Dev. = 6.287
N = 98
12.5-
10.0"
B
8
7.5"
cr
8
fo
5.0"
2.5"
oo-i—r
10.00
15.00
1—
20.00
I
25.00
1
30.00
1'
35.00
40.00
TRIM12
Figure A3. Histogram Scores on the TRIM-12
APPENDIX 24
1-2 years
3-4 years
5-6 years
7-8 years
yearsgrouping
Figure A4. Means Plot of KMSS Scores by Years Married
158
APPENDIX 25
25-
Mean = 2.469
Std. Dev. = 1.209
N = 49
20-
Q 15
C
CT*
<D
10-
5-
j
1.000
1
2.000
1—
3.000
4.000
—I—
5.000
—!
6.000
time in minutes
Figure A5. Reported Time Spent in Prayer by Husbands
on the MPI
159
APPENDIX 26
Mean = 2.612
Std. Dev. = 1.288
N = 49
20-
£
15"i
_T
1.000
2.000
1
3.000
1
4.000
r
5.000
r~~l
6.000
7.000
time in minutes
Figure A6. Reported Time Spent in Prayer by Wives
on the MPI
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VITA
Dr. Mark Williams Weston, a Colorado native, resides in Keller, Texas. He is the son of
Dr. and Mrs. Eugene L. Weston now residing in Arvada, Colorado. He is married to Shannon
Dixon, daughter of the late Mr. Harold F. Dixon, and Mrs. Betty J. Dixon, of Las Cruces, New
Mexico. Dr. and Mrs. Weston have one son: Ryan who is eleven years old and is in the fifth
grade.
Upon completion of his undergraduate studies, Dr. Weston ministered to students at two
Southern Baptist churches in the Phoenix, Arizona metropolitan area After completing his
M.Div. he ministered to students at Waialae Baptist Church in Honolulu, Hawaii, while also
serving as a consultant in the Youth Discipleship Division of LifeWay, and providing local
leadership for the islands and southern Pacific Rim for the True Love Waits campaign. Upon
completion of his M.A. in Counseling Psychology, Dr. Weston established a private counseling
practice in Denver, Colorado where he employed three therapists and served both the community
and local churches by providing biblical world-view counseling. Since coming to Southwestern to
complete his Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology, he has served as the Pastoral Care Pastor at
Northwood Church in Keller, Texas and currently as the Counselor in Residence and
Administrator of the Counseling Center at Northwood.
Dr. Weston holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in Communication from Arizona State
University, a Master of Divinity (BL) degree from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary,
and a Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology from the University of Colorado at Denver. A
portion of his doctoral work included studies in psychology and a residency at Walden University.
He is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Texas and Colorado; is a National Certified
Counselor; and a member in good standing with the American Counseling Association and the
American Association of Christian Counselors.
Dr. Weston has received recognition in Who's Who in American Colleges and
Universities and was placed on the Dean's List at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. In
recognition of his doctoral work he was awarded a scholarship by the American Association of
Christian Counselors at their World Conference in 2009.
Dr. Weston has published an article for the Soul and Spirit journal and has an unpublished
book manuscript currently being reviewed for publication through Gary D. Foster Consulting.
Dr. Weston teaches in the area of counseling psychology. He serves as an adjunct
professor on the faculty of two Christian education institutions, the Jack D. Terry School of
Church and Family Ministries at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Ft. Worth, Texas,
and The Criswell College in Dallas, Texas. He has served as an Associate Pastor in student
ministry for several churches in the Southern Baptist Convention and continues to serve the Lord
in a church based setting at Northwood Church as the Counselor in Residence and Administrator
of the Counseling Center at Northwood. Dr. Weston has conducted numerous seminars and
conferences across the United States, and overseas as a guest lecturer at the Hanoi Education
University in Hanoi, Vietnam. Dr. Weston enjoys golfing, biking, and going camping with his
wife and son.