Analyzing the Benefits of Revision Memos during the Writing and Revision Process BRYAN ANTHONY BARDINE and ANTHONY FULTON rent draft. Appendixes A and B include both authors’ specific descriptions of revision memos; however, the aforementioned characteristics apply to both. As students write revision memos, their focus must remain on the textual choices they make—considering not only the changes they made, but also the reason for those changes. Using revision memos allows students to critically analyze their own texts, which is a skill many high school and college students find difficult to develop. Educator John Dewey (1938) argued that self-reflection is essential for intellectual development. Revision memos provide students with the opportunity to do just this sort of self-reflection. According to Murray (1982), self-reflection is unavoidable. Murray believes that as writers move through the writing process they engage in a conversation with their other self. This other self regulates the writing process by reviewing the writer’s work and acting as a critic, providing the writer with distance to view the work objectively and assess what needs to be improved or changed. Essentially, revision memos provide a forum in which students develop the other self. Whether reflecting on a draft from earlier in the semester or reexamining a text for submission the next day, students obtain a renewed perspective on their work. This point corresponds with Swartzendruber-Putnam (2000), who uses various forms of self-reflective writing in activity-centered high school English classes. She maintains that weekly writers’ logs, draft letters, and portfolio letters enable students to reflect on their work, evaluate their performance, develop new ideas, and practice new writing techniques. She argues that, through continued practice, self-reflective writing heightens the students’ Abstract: In this article, the authors examine the role revision memos played in composition classrooms. Both authors used the memos to help students reflect on their writing and continue revising. The memos also served as guides for the instructors as they responded to their students’ writing. The memos were a reminder that the instructors needed to focus their commentary so that the students would be able to revise more effectively. The authors give student examples that show how the memos successfully helped the writers improve throughout the semester. Each author includes an appendix that describes how he used revision memos in his class. Keywords: composition, reflection, response to writing, revising, revision memo T he revision strategies that student writers impose on themselves continue to be a concern of processoriented teaching in the composition classroom. Researchers have examined a variety of approaches including how unskilled and experienced writers revise their writing (Berkenkotter 1983; Perl 1979; Sommers 1980) and how much teachers’ commentaries on students’ writing affect revision (Connors and Lunsford 1993; Dobler and Amoriell 1988; Onore 1984; Straub 1996). In this article, we examine the use of student revision memos as a means to get students critically thinking and actively analyzing their working texts. Revision memos are written documents student writers complete after they revise a piece of writing. When writing revision memos, students detail the strengths and weaknesses they see in the new draft, their revision focus for future drafts, and the particular changes they made to the cur- Bryan Anthony Bardine, PhD, is an associate professor in the Department of English at the University of Dayton, Ohio. Anthony Fulton, MA, is working on his PhD in rhetoric and composition at Southern Illinois University, Carbondale. Copyright © 2008 Heldref Publications 149 150 The Clearing House awareness of not only what they learn, but also how they learn. In turn, revision memos allow teachers to gauge each individual student’s writing process and revision strategies. This notion echoes Crowley’s (1977) findings in which she uses composition diaries to analyze the composing processes of beginning and experienced writers in an advanced English composition course. As Crowley notes, the diaries indicated that students employed a near-linear process with little or no recursive movement because of a lack of commitment or interest in the assignment, adding that many students completed the assignment the night before the deadline. As a result, she structured assignments and created activities that engaged the students and emphasized recursive writing. In terms of revision strategies, Bamberg (2003) addresses the concepts of detection and diagnosis, explaining that after writers detect a problem in their texts, “they must be able to turn that detection into a diagnosis that suggests what needs to be done to correct the problem” (116). However, she posits that many novice writers lack the ability to detect or diagnose larger problems. Revision memos then allow instructors to gauge a student’s ability to detect and diagnose key structural issues. Ultimately, self-reflective writing “provides a new form of feedback” for both students and teachers, initiating a written dialogue between student and teacher (Kusnic and Finley 1993, 7). However, there are several challenges to successfully implementing self-reflective memos. First, Beach (1976) asserts that the ability to engage in self-evaluation requires the proper attitude, the willingness to “judge one’s writing from a detached, nonegocentric perspective and to trust one’s own criteria for revising as valid” (160). For students, this comes with time and regular practice. As MacGregor (1993) points out, most beginning student writers “often generalize about their experience with little substantiation or exemplifying detail or enumerate particulars without drawing any larger synthesis or conclusion” (38). Finally, environment is also a factor. Personalizing the students’ work and establishing the classroom as a community of writers provides the ideal conditions for self-reflective writing (Eaton and Pougiales 1993). To overcome most challenges, teachers must clearly state the purpose and rationale for all self-reflective writing, implement collaborative learning, clarify the audience, and tailor assignments to promote selfdevelopment (MacGregor 1993). SwartzendruberPutnam (2000) echoes this point, explaining, “These assignments alone are not the only key to creating better writers who are actively involved in their own learning” (89). Beach (1979) found no difference between the revision processes of students who wrote self-evaluation forms and students who revised with- March/April 2008 out any guidance, concluding that the self-evaluation forms were ineffective because the students had not received proper instruction to step back from their own writing and view it more objectively. As existing research details, revision memos offer many benefits; however, it is important to understand the benefits and how to properly use the memos before implementing them in the classroom. In the following observations, we offer suggestions and examples of how revision memos benefit students and how teachers can use them in their classrooms. These examples are based on our own teaching experiences in first-year college composition classes over several semesters. Although our experience is in the college classroom, we believe that revision memos would work well in the high school classroom. Through workshops and oneon-one instruction, students can develop an interest in reflecting on their writing. In effect, they can develop a heightened awareness not only of specific course concepts, but also of how they learn and comprehend material, specifically their own writing and revision strengths and weaknesses. How Students Benefit from Revision Memos: Bryan’s Observations For the past four years, in each of the college writing courses I taught (typically first-year writing and some upper-level writing courses), I have used revision memos. I allow students to revise their papers as often as they wish throughout the semester. However with each revision they must write a revision memo, without which I will not read the revision. Memos are typically one to two pages long; although I do not require a certain number of pages, I do stress the importance of incorporating detail. Once the students submit revisions, I first read the memos to understand the students’ opinions of their drafts. Reading the memos also allows me to focus my responses to their writing. I may write a few comments on the memos—typically questions or positive comments—but I never grade them. Grading the memos would negatively change the students’ approaches to writing them. Ideally, students are making global changes to their papers; one of the goals I have for the revision memos is to help students begin to analyze their writing in more depth. Often, this is not the case early in the semester, but the more the students revise their work, the more detailed their comments become. After reading the memos, I read and respond to the revision, and return the papers to the writers; if possible, I will conduct one-on-one conferences with the students as well. My primary goal for the revision memos is to help students begin to recognize their own strengths and weaknesses. Furthermore, the more they use the memos, the more I try to encourage them to shift their focus from the microstructural editing on which Vol. 81, No. 4 Revision Memos students tend to rely to the macrostructural or global revisions that tend to help students’ writing improve more dramatically. In my experience, using revision memos enables students to learn to recognize issues with the content and structure of their essays, which is often a difficult job for inexperienced writers. The following examples, although not consistent among all of my students, show that revision memos can have a positive effect on the way students examine their own writing and improve as writers. Amanda, a student from one of my first-year writing courses, used the revision memos effectively during the semester I worked with her. The following examples are from a memo attached to her fourth essay of the semester. At this stage in the course, Amanda had considerable experience writing revision memos, as evidenced by the amount of information and detail she includes in the memo itself. For instance, early in this memo she considers her audience and how the organizational problems of her essay may affect the reader’s understanding of her text. She writes, “I noticed I jumped around a bit and needed to go through and make sure the reader understood what I meant at certain points.” Many students fail to consider their readers at all, much less in terms of an essay’s organization; one reason that Amanda is able to do this is because of her consistent use of revision memos. Later in the memo, Amanda considers her word choice in comparison with her previous paper. She writes, “I changed some of my wording so that it was easier to understand and I was not as wordy as my last paper.” This comment is telling for a number of reasons. First, Amanda is not only thinking about the essay she is writing now, she is also making connections to work she did in the past that showed she had difficulty avoiding wordiness. Making this kind of connection is important because she is learning from past mistakes and trying to correct them in her current work. Second, because of the structure of the revision memos, she is reading the comments written on her papers, something many students fail to do, and using them to improve future drafts. Later, Amanda discusses what research she needs to do to improve her paper. She writes, “I was a little disappointed . . . and if I were to do this paper over . . . I would have liked to have found some stunning statistics so that the reader would know the severity of the problem.” Here, as with the second example, Amanda is thinking about how to approach future drafts of the essay, although in this case the research is her focus. The revision memo gives her a place to think and write about not only her strengths and weaknesses but also her future plans, which many students do not consider until the next assignment, if at all. Using the revision memo throughout the semester provided Amanda the opportunity to spend more time 151 with her writing, both because she was writing more and thinking about her writing more often. She was also allowing for the revision processes by the end of the semester, which she had never considered prior to using the revision memos. Her essays at the end of the semester were more focused and better supported, and she understood more about herself as a writer. Andrea, another student in the same class, began the semester not using revision memos as much as she should have; however, as the semester progressed, her focus moved from primarily grammar and punctuation issues to content, organization, and audience awareness issues. In her first revision memo of the semester, Andrea focused primarily on grammar. She writes, “I did go back and make some minor grammar changes.” Later in the semester, in her fourth revision memo, she includes more detail and her responses are concerned primarily with the content of her essay and with her audience. One of the requirements of the assignment was to consider how those opposed to the writer’s thesis would respond. She writes, “The paragraph that represents the opposing view was packed full of information. I felt I needed to set up my argument by showing the opposition that I understand their view.” In this case, the use of the memos enabled me to understand why she focused on the opposition’s stance early in the essay and showed me that she is thinking of her audience. In Andrea’s memo, she concludes by considering what to do next and how she will support her position. She writes, “Maybe if I were to write on this subject again I would focus on two central points to support my thesis, instead of trying to jam in so much information.” For this paper, Andrea felt that she included too much information for the reader, making the essay more difficult to follow. She used the memo to clarify in her mind how she would approach a future draft and what she still needed to accomplish with this draft: how to support her argument better. In both examples, Amanda and Andrea showed that the use of the memos allowed them to analyze their texts in more detail and helped them focus on the content and structure for future drafts. Neither student was particularly interested in these considerations at the beginning of the semester based on what they wrote in their memos. By consistently using the memos, both students’ writing improved and they paid more attention to their writing. How Teachers Can Read Revision Memos to Maximize Student Benefits: Anthony’s Observations Students in my first-year composition (FYC) courses, usually first- and second-semester freshmen, have the option of revising four of their five major papers. A newly revised draft is due one week after the paper is 152 The Clearing House handed back with a grade, and with each rewrite, the students must complete a revision memo—typically a oneto two-page reflective piece in which they informally recount the feedback they received on their original draft from both their peers and myself. Most important, the students discuss their revisions and articulate the reasons they made those choices. The assignment sheet (appendix B) stipulates that they must show these changes by using at least two quotations from their paper, as opposed to providing a shopping list of the changes enacted. Finally, the students evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of the final draft. Moreover, the assignment sheet stresses that a revision memo should focus on the revision process rather than the editing process. However, despite this stipulation many FYC students and high school students struggle with the concept of macrolevel and microlevel changes. Unfamiliar with the process of self-reflection and unable to step back and evaluate their own work objectively, most students sink into their comfort level of highlighting simple corrections and word changes. Through continued practice, as self-reflection becomes more natural, the students begin identifying larger issues and work to correct them. Therefore, I employ revision memos to track this progress, especially in terms of Bamberg’s (2003) detection and diagnosis. For example, Chris, in revising his critique of a source text from a B− paper, realized that to make his paper stronger he needed to communicate his ideas “more logically.” To accomplish this, Chris explains, “I redesigned the structure of my paper by creating a new and more logical outline. I began by correcting my intro, creating a more focused thesis.” Returning to the source text to gain a better understanding of the material before rewriting his body paragraphs, he notes, “After I created the format of my paper I moved sentences and paragraphs to compliment [sic] my new essay.” Here, Chris demonstrates the ability to detect and diagnose issues at the global level. Identifying that his problems with clarity and organization could not be remedied by simply changing a few words, he returned to the prewriting phase and constructed a new outline based on a clearer understanding of the source text. Diagnosing the problem on a global scale, he then moved and deleted entire paragraphs to correspond with his new understanding of the text, rewriting the thesis and rearranging the body paragraphs to match his new argument. After analyzing his revision to ensure that Chris enacted the changes he documented, I commented that his strategies were excellent and that he should apply those tactics with each revision. In addition, I explained to Chris that his revision memo demonstrated a strong, objective understanding of his writing and recommended that he continue to reflect in similar ways. March/April 2008 In contrast, a second student, Dennis, working on his summary of a source text, originally based his paper on one minor point of the original article, as opposed to the author’s thesis, main points, and findings. Clearly, the paper needed a major overhaul. In his revision memo, Dennis notes, “The major weakness of my paper was the fact that it concentrated too much on one single aspect of the essay.” He recognized that several sections from the original draft could remain intact to make up a large portion of the revised version. In revising, he incorporated the thesis and main points into the introduction and conclusion of the original draft. He explained that his paper could have been stronger if he “started from scratch” but was unsure where to begin if he did. Unlike Chris, while Dennis was able to detect a major problem, he was not able to diagnose the larger problem and reconfigure the entire paper. After reading Dennis’s memo, I instructed him to compare both drafts and use a highlighter to identify which sections of the previous draft still occupied significant sections of the revision. I then met with him to further discuss how he could either minimize those sections or cut them altogether to emphasize the new material. Essentially, instructors can use revision memos to schedule individual conferences and to plan discussions that will help students move through the process of detection and diagnosis. This individual attention, coupled with regular reflection, can help students begin to diagnose critical problem areas by returning to earlier steps in the writing process and rearranging large blocks of texts. Implications and Conclusion It is important that teachers get students used to thinking about their writing and revision practices. They can do this by asking students to write revision memos. Also, teachers need to focus their responses, not by covering the page with comments, but rather by responding to a few significant areas of a text. If students cannot determine where to begin revising, they will not be able to write an effective revision. By focusing their responses, teachers make it easier for students to revise because there are fewer comments on the paper to detect and diagnose, another important skill students need to develop. Finally, teachers need to allow students to revise every paper they write throughout the semester. The more revisions and revision memos students write, the better they will become at analyzing their texts. As this occurs, their writing will improve as well. It is important to note that the student examples detailed in this article illustrate only the benefits and methods of analyzing revision memos we have found through our own observations and experiences in our classrooms. To more accurately assess the effectiveness of the methods presented here and the Vol. 81, No. 4 Revision Memos practice of using revision memos in general, a more formal research study needs to be conducted. Although our examples draw from college courses, the strategies and methods we have outlined will work in high school and middle school writing classes. As writing teachers, our goal is to help our students learn to look more critically at their own work. The earlier student writers begin reflecting on their writing, the easier it will be for them to view their papers objectively and revise more effectively. REFERENCES Bamberg, B. 2003. Revision. In Concepts in composition, ed. I. Clark, 107–29. Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum. Beach, R. 1976. Self-evaluation strategies of extensive revisors and nonrevisors. College Composition and Communication 27 (2): 160–64. ———. 1979. The effects of between-draft teacher evaluation versus student self-evaluation on high school students’ revising of rough drafts. Research in the Teaching of English 13 (2): 111–20. Berkenkotter, C. 1983. Decisions and revisions: The planning strategies of a publishing writer. College Composition and Communication 34 (2): 156–72. Connors, R. J., and A. A. Lunsford. 1993. Teachers’ rhetorical comments on student papers. College Composition and Communication 44 (2): 200–23. 153 Crowley, S. 1977. Components of the composing process. College Composition and Communication 28 (2): 166–69. Dewey, J. 1938. Experience and education. New York: Touchstone Books. Dobler, J. M., and W. J. Amoriell. 1988. Comments on writing: Features that affect student performance. Journal of Reading 32 (3): 214–23. Eaton, M., and R. Pougiales. 1993. Work, reflection, and community: Conditions that support writing self-evaluations. In J. MacGregor 1993, 47–64. Kusnic, E., and L. Finley. 1993. Student self-evaluation: An introduction and rationale. In J. MacGregor 1993, 5–14. MacGregor, J. 1993. Learning self-evaluation: Challenges for students. In Student self-evaluation: Fostering reflective learning, ed. J. MacGregor, 35–46. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass. Murray, D. M. 1982. Teaching the other self: The writer’s first reader. College Composition and Communication 33 (2): 140–47. Onore, C. 1984. The transaction between teachers’ comments and students’ revisions: Catalysts and obstacles. ERIC Rep. No. ED258174. Perl, S. 1979. The composing processes of unskilled college writers. Research in the Teaching of English 13 (4): 317–36. Sommers, N. 1980. Revision strategies of student writers and experienced adult writers. College Composition and Communication 31 (4): 378–88. Straub, R. 1996. Concept of control in teacher response: Defining the varieties of “directive” and “facilitative” commentary. College Composition and Communication 47 (2): 223–51. Swartzendruber-Putnam, D. 2000. Written reflection: Creating better thinkers, better writers. The English Journal 90 (1): 88–93. APPENDIX A Directions for Use of Revision Memos to Students* Revision memos are a great way to help writers think about what they have just written and begin to plan for future drafts. The purpose of revision memos is to help you become better at revising your writing. Furthermore, you will become better critical readers of your own texts, which will help in your development as writers. By doing this with each essay, my goal is to improve your writing much more than if you were not using the memos. When you write a revision memo, the following points must be included: 1. It is addressed to me. 2. It details the strengths and weaknesses your peers (and professor) saw in your draft. 3. It details your overall impression of the revision (strengths and weakness). 4. It details where you want to go from here—what your focus will be for your next draft. 5. It details the changes you’ve made from one draft to the next. Each of these points must be in the memo. Typically, memos run anywhere from one to two pages in length, double-spaced. If you do not submit a revision memo, I will not read your revision. * Created by Bryan Anthony Bardine 154 The Clearing House March/April 2008 APPENDIX B Directions for Use of Revision Memos to Students* During the semester, you have the opportunity to revise any of the first four essays (summary and critique, visual argument analysis, literary analysis, and the proposal). However, when you revise a paper you must also submit a revision memo. A revision memo is a short, one- to two-page paper detailing your revision process and counts as a short homework assignment. The purpose of the assignment is to allow me to get a sense of your writing process. Furthermore, studies show that you will gain a better understanding of your own writing process by explaining it to someone else. In your memo, you should: 1. Summarize the feedback you received from your peer and teacher 2. Explain what you thought were the major weaknesses of the paper 3. Discuss the major changes you made and why 4. Assess the strengths and weaknesses of your final draft Keep in mind, a revision memo should discuss large, structural changes. Provide specific examples of passages that you changed and then discuss in detail why you made those changes. Do not discuss the editing process. It is implied that you will edit the paper for grammatical mistakes, so you do not need to mention these in your memo. Because this is a reflective memo, you can use first person “I.” It should be a detailed, yet informal, discussion. If you choose to revise a paper, you must submit the newly revised draft, revision memo, and the original graded draft one week from the date that I hand back the original draft with a grade. Please note, you can only revise an 89 percent or lower. For each revision, I will take the higher grade. If, for instance, you received a C+ and then revised the paper to a B, I will erase the lower grade and record the B. If, for some reason, the revised grade is lower than the original grade, I will keep the original grade. In other words, revising a paper does not guarantee a higher grade, but it cannot hurt your grade. Remember, you can always see me about your revision before turning it in for a new grade. It would also be a good idea to go to the Write Place. Be sure to take the assignment sheet and rubric with you. * Created by Anthony Fulton