What is the best way of developing happiness?
Everybody wants to be happy or happier than they currently feel. The pursuit of
happiness can be seen everywhere: psychology has developed “empirical” methods of testing
happiness, as if it can be quantified; self-help books promote happiness and, of course, the
wealth of their authors, which makes them happy; and philosophers try to define happiness
apparently so that when one finds it, she can identify it. Some think great wealth brings
happiness, others good personal relationships, some find happiness in their vocation, and many
think religion or spirituality is the answer. The components of happiness also vary depending on
who describes them. Some believe self-esteem leads to happiness, some say self-examination,
and then there are those who believe self-fulfillment is the key. Obviously, these theories of
happiness all lay within the self of each person. However, others believe that happiness happens
to a person through outward exploration such as commitment to a charity, helping others,
becoming a parent, teaching, and other such endeavors. Really, happiness does begin within each
person, but it is also defined by each person based on his/her own experiences and the random
nature of life. To find happiness one must start by finding purpose.
The part of happiness that is instantaneous is purpose. Some parts of life cannot be
changed, or, at least, cannot be changed immediately. Chris Tkach and Sonja Lyubomirsky report
“the strongest predictors of happiness and life satisfaction” which fall into “three general
categories . . . (1) life circumstances and demographics, (2) traits and dispositions, and (3)
intentional behaviors” (Tkach & Lyubomirsky, 2006). The first two usually cannot be changed
quickly. For example, a woman in an unhappy marriage without abuse may opt to stay in the
marriage until she can get a job and support herself and her children so that they do not suffer.
She cannot change her “life circumstances or demographics” at least not immediately. Perhaps if
she did not have children, she would not feel as strongly about staying and would rather suffer a
few months of poverty and discomfort just so her circumstances would change, but, since she is a
responsible mother, she chooses to approach the change in a different way. This speaks to her
“traits and disposition,” or her personality and her values. These are formed early in life and are
very difficult to change. She can only change her own behavior immediately. Some would say
change her attitude, but no matter how it is defined, she now has to find a way to endure and help
the children through this life change. She can employ “flow” by engaging herself in activities
that will get her to her goal, which is a job, a new home, and release from her unhappy
entanglement.
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, in his book, Flow: the Psychology of Optimal Experience
purports that happiness comes from the inside of a person, from her consciousness. A person,
Csikszentmihalyi says, can become skilled in finding enjoyment beyond pleasure in each
moment of life, even the mundane ones, if she figures out a way to not be bored, practices
engaging herself, and makes each moment purposeful. Irina Coker and Suzanne Elliot agree with
Csikszentmihalyi when they claim “Happiness is determined by what people make of their
experiences; that is, the way they construe and interpret the world around them” (Coker &
Elliott, 2008). These moment-to-moment experiences, if considered in the right way, can all be
what Csikszentmihalyi calls “optimal experiences.” Optimal experiences though involve
enjoyment, which has certain criteria: engaging in a challenging and riveting experience, for
instance. “Flow” according to Csikszentmihalyi occurs when a person is so involved in an
activity that time goes by without the person being aware of it. One aspect of “flow,” forgetting
one’s problems during the “flow” activity, results from total concentration. This explains why so
many people seek enjoyable diversions, so they can put the more stressful things in life out of
their minds. Some people may find this distractive quality in work, but Csikszentmihalyi says
that part of the flow experience’s joy is that no matter how badly one messes things up, it is not
going to hold the same consequences as if it had been done on the job. When a woman forgets to
add baking powder to a chocolate cake she is making, the only result will be disappointment that
the cake did not raise, and maybe some unhappy family members anticipating a delicious dessert,
but there are no serious consequences unless the woman bakes for a living. Then she could lose
her job for making that simple mistake. This freedom from fear of making a mistake allows a
person to exercise some control over her life.
Another aspect of “flow” activities includes a temporary loss of awareness of one’s self.
Csikszentmihalyi explains this as, in the case of an outdoor physical activity, “becoming one
with the environment.” Humans often focus on consciousness of their selves, or, at least,
frequently return to it to check the level of threat associated with the activities of daily life,
routine or not. When engaged in a “flow” activity, however, that consciousness does not happen.
Also, a person does not judge and condemn his/her own actions during a “flow” activity. The
pure distraction of performing the activity constitutes the entire consciousness. “Flow” engages
the body and mind completely, so that the person’s purpose is the activity itself, not the reward
for doing the activity or the consequences for doing it wrong. The participant in a “flow”
activity is also not bored. Oh sure, she could be making sandwich number 439 of the day for a
picky customer, but if engaged mentally in something that makes the activity less boring and
perhaps distracting, it will not seem as awful as it would if the sandwich maker were focusing on
the negative feelings that go along with repetitive work. Aparna A. Labroo and Anirban
Mukhopadhyay cite Shen and Wyer's (2008) findings that a negative mood will increase
indulgence only when people focus on their negative feelings (vs. causal events) might imply
that those unhappy people infer a stronger need to improve immediate feelings” (Labroo &
Mukhopadhyay, 2009). Csikszentmihalyi tells of a professor who taught himself a finger tapping
game to play for when he was bored at conferences and the like. So, seeking happiness is truly
making the best of each moment.
Happiness that results from “flow” activities, according to Csikszentmihalyi, can be
found in a variety of activities from decoupage to surgery. Some may randomly come upon a
vocation they find rewarding, engaging, and full of optimal experiences; others set out to train
for a career that they hope will fulfill them in this way. Oftentimes people will mention meeting
their goals as a measure of happiness. “If one is motivated to achieve something in life, there is
no need for setting it up as a goal; and if one is not motivated to achieve that thing, there is no
point in setting it up as a goal” (Miller, 2008). “Flow” does not seem to occur when it is planned
specifically. “Flow” comes off as more of an attitude or a determination to make each moment
the best that it can be. One knows that engaging in certain activities will result in a feeling of
happiness, but saying, “I’m going to run five miles because I will experience ‘flow’” seems a
little silly. More likely, it is the challenging oneself to run the five miles over and over, then ten
miles, then twenty. Flow would occur with each milestone, but would come to a climax when a
person who had trained for months crossed the finish line of a marathon. She would see the
accomplishment of time and effort and feel the pride of it. That accomplishment would make life
that much more worth living, and at the point of death, there would be much less to regret.
The avenues to pursue when looking for happiness then would be those that provide
opportunities for optimal experiences. One area of life that can provide many optimal
experiences is religion. Csikszentmihalyi says, “Flow and religion have been intimately
connected from earliest times” (Csikszentmihalyi, 1990). By this he means the volunteering and
camaraderie that accompanies involvement in any organization, not the “spiritual” experiences
provided by God that allegedly occur as part of religion, or so it would seem. For the latter
seems to contradict the whole notion of “flow” since it is an experience given by or as a result of
a union with God, not an experience that one generates within herself . However, apparently
there is something to the “happiness is a religious service” idea because David H. Rosmarin,
Kenneth I. Pargament, and Annette Mahoney concur. They cite a “majority of empirical studies
in the past 35 years have indicated that greater basic religious observance (e.g., church
attendance, religious study) are associated with decreased anxiety , . . . enhanced levels of coping
with life’s struggles, . . . and decreased post-traumatic stress symptoms” (David H. Rosmarin*,
2009). Yet, people have moved away from religion in recent times for several reasons including
the fact that religion can be very prescriptive and hypocritical. Also, science has advanced to
explain those things that religion and mythology once accounted for, so many people may be
pursuing happiness in other areas.
One such area may be sports or physical activity. This sort of intentional quest to
demonstrate one’s physical abilities offer many opportunities for satisfaction. Kenneth M.
Sheldon and Sonia Lyubomirsky report that, since there are so many choices in this area, and
each has a set of guidelines participants must follow, which adds to the challenge, when a person
achieves success in an athletic endeavor, it is very rewarding. “Given the fact that intentional
activities are more volitional in nature and less susceptible to hedonic adaptation, it appears that
such activities may indeed offer a promising route to ‘the pursuit of happiness’ (Sheldon &
Lyubomirsky, 2006). Besides that, the new buzz is all about diet and exercise seems to have
finally sunk in. True, some people are not jumping on the bandwagon yet, but many young
people are and new generation of more active young people, who know the benefits of their
energetic lifestyle are reaching maturity. One hears of “runner’s highs” where the endorphins
kick in and cause a feeling of happiness and great achievement may be one of the physiological
reasons for that endorphin rush. There is also the notion of “pushing through the threshold” in
running, but both that and the “runner’s high” can be applied to other physical straining
activities. People do not climb mountains because “they are there.” They climb them for the
feeling they get after having climbed them. A sense of accomplishing such a feat helps the
endorphins to flow.
In Flow, Csikszentmihalyi emphasizes the element of practicing and achieving command
of a “flow” activity. True the activity may be crocheting an afghan, which requires very little
physical exertion, but it can be a challenge, and when the afghan is complete, there is a feeling of
accomplishment. To be able to complete a project as time-consuming as an afghan takes lots of
practice. Outward manifestations of the activity are not necessary. Such an occupation can take
place in the brain like memorizing a poem. Csikszentmihalyi tells of a man kept in a Cambodian
prison for years who stayed sane by imaging himself playing golf. He got so focused on this that
shortly after he was released, he played a very skilled game of golf. Csikszentmihalyi attributes
the former prisoner’s ability to do so to playing that game of golf in his head over and over,
imagining each selection of golf club, each swing, and being so involved in it that he was not
only distracted from his surroundings and situation, but also giving himself something like
positive affirmation—seeing himself playing perfect golf so much he believed he could and then
did.
The best thing about Csikszentmihalyi’s theory of “flow” though has to be the relief it
provides to those seeking happiness. After all, it is not a complicated message: engage at every
moment. Ghandi said, ““Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live
forever.” So, if each person lived each moment as if it were her last, and yet occupied the
moment with whatever it took to not be unhappy—learning, distraction, engagement—the world
would be full of happier, more intelligent, calmer people. The other part of “flow” though is that
it almost forces a person to step outside of herself and pursue interests that will engage her. She
will make new friends, find new pursuits, and ways to rebuild her new life after marriage with
her children. Anca Miron, Sarah Parkinson, and Jack Brehm put it this way, “Happiness causes
people to broaden their scope of attention or action, and build physical, intellectual, and social
resources” (Miron, Parkinson, & Brehm, 2007). It does not seem to matter whether it is
happiness that causes this outreach or the outreach that causes the happiness. That the unhappy
woman, even though caught in a situation where she must deny her hedonic urge to leave the
unhappiness behind and do what is best for her children, can be happy and not dwell on the
situation. She can develop happiness by deciding to, and she can do while seeking to change
what causes discontent.
References
Coker, I., & Elliott, S. (2008). Independent self-construal, self-reflection, and self-rumination: A
path. Australian Journal of Psychologhy , 127-134.
Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. New York: Harper
Collins.
David H. Rosmarin*, K. I. (2009). The role of religiousness in anxiety, depression, and
happiness in. Mental Health, Religion & Culture , 12 (2), 97-113.
Labroo, A. A., & Mukhopadhyay, A. (2009). Lay Theories of Emotion Transience and the.
Journal of Consumer Research , 242-254.
Miller, A. (2008). A Critique of Positive Psychology—. Journal of Philosophy of Education ,
591-608.
Miron, A. M., Parkinson, S. K., & Brehm, J. W. (2007). Does Happiness Function Like a
Motivational State? Cognition and Emotion , 248-267.
Sheldon, K. M., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2006). Achieving Sustainable Gains in Happiness:. Journal
of Happiness Studies , 55-86.
Tkach, C., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2006). How Do People Pursue Happiness?:Relating
Personality,Happiness-Increasing Strategies, and Well-Being. Journal of Happiness
Studies , 183-225.