CONVERSATION IN CHRISTIAN LIFE AND MINISTRY
Peter Schineller, S.J.
Conversation in Christian Life and Ministry
1.
What are We Talking About
Introduction.
Etymology and Definition of Conversation
The Human Experience and Context of Conversation
Modern Means of Communication
Changes in Religious Life
Experiences of Conversation
The Dialogue in Philosophical Discourse
Huddling in the world of Business
African Palaver
Quaker Meeting House
Family Conversation
Barriers, Obstacles to Genuine conversation
Culture, Age, Gender, Modern Life and Culture, Power, Language
Characteristics and Dynamics of Genuine Conversation
Virtues of Genuine Conversation
List of 15 or so
2.
Theological Reflection on Conversation
Introduction
The Hebrew Scriptures
The New Testament
Vatican II
Pope Paul VI
Pope John Paul II
Synod of African Bishops
Model of Church
Theological Foundations for Dialogue - the Mystery of the Triune God
Spiritual Conversation, More Broadly Conceived
3.
St. Ignatius Loyola and the Art and Grace of Conversation
(Means to Union and an Instrument of the Apostolate )
Life and Autobiography
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Letters and Instructions
The Spiritual Exercises
The Constitutions
Ignatius and the Early Jesuits
The Jesuit Tradition
.
4.
Conversation in Christian (Life and) Ministry
Prayer and Liturgy - Individual and Communal
Preaching
Pastoral Counseling - Spiritual and Life Direction
The Sacrament of Reconciliation
Basic Christian Community Model of Church
The Study of Theology
Catechesis and the Catechumenate
Ecumenical Dialogue
The Ministry of Education
Missionary Activity -Evangelization and Inculturation
Conclusion
5.
New Voices in the Conversation
The Voice of Women
Women=s Ways of Knowing
Women=s ways of Conversing
Feminist Spirituality
Inclusive Language
The Voice of the Marginalized and Poor
The Voice of Adherents of Other Religious Traditions
6.
The Way of Complementarity
Words to Describe the Situation
Diversity, Pluralism, Pluriformity, Multiculturalism, Uniformity,
Complementarity
Models of Union through Complementarity
The Way of Complementarity
Conclusion
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1. INTRODUCTION
As nature abhors a vacuum, much of our contemporary world abhors silence. Musak
is piped into offices, elevators, and waiting room. Radios (with or without headsets)
accompany us in subways, buses and automobiles. We turn on the radio or cassette
recorder or compact disc, along with the engine of our car. Often the program is not soft
and soothing music, but the angry voices of participants in a radio talk show. After a day
at work or at school, we come home and instinctively turn on the television. Perhaps
MTV entertains us. We read the same news in two or more on daily newspapers, in two
weekly magazines, and then see it replayed on television on, local and possibly national
news. If we are Catholics, we feel strongly that we must fill the sacred time of the
Eucharistic liturgy with words, explanations, singing, rather than foster moments of
reflective, prayerful silence. This is true in Africa, true in America.
If we step back a moment and reflect on the quality of our listening and the content of
what we are listening to, we might well be embarrassed. How much true dialogue takes
place on a typical day? How much good conversation with friends and acquaintances,
with those with whom and for whom we minister? How much quality time, to use a
modern expression? We can certainly recall occasions when we enjoyed deep,
stimulating conversations on significant topics, but I think most would admit that those
occasions have been far too infrequent.
So much of radio today has become talk show radio. People phone in and talk with
the host on a variety of topics. We have become a talk-show nation in which public
discourse is reduced to ranting and raving. Civility, genuine conversation is overtaken
by entertainment or titillation. The weird, the lurid, the coarse become the cultural norm
and replace significant news. Free speech wins out over civilized conversation.
On the larger worldwide scale there seems to be an increased presence of
fundamentalism in several of the major religious traditions. This may be a reaction
against the movement to modernization, to advanced technology. It is found in
Christianity in the USA and in Africa. In Islam too we find examples of this. Islamic
fundamentalism would oppose dialogue with other religious traditions, and with
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modernity. With strong conviction, it is convinced with the ways and answers that it
finds in its own tradition, for example, in the Koran. It comes across as rigid, fixed, not
open to change and development - in a word, as preaching and non-dialogical.
How do we hold together, move forward together in the midst of these opposing and
sometimes conflicting tendencies? How do we keep from getting lost, from being
overwhelmed by the growing access to news and information? How do we keep a
perspective on all that is going on? How do we maintain a healthy self-image and keep
our own identity, with so much, so many varying tendencies surrounding us?
I submit
that conversation is one key, one way to move forward.
How important and essential simple conversation is for human living! In his "Hints
Towards an Essay on Conversation" the essayist Jonathan Swift explains that "I have
observed few obvious subjects to have been so seldom, or at least so slightly, handled as
this, and indeed, I know few so difficult to be treated as it ought, nor yet upon which
there seem so much to be said."
On the other hand, we must acknowledge that in some cases the call to conversation
and dialogue may be the attempt to forestall action. If there is overt evil, such as torture,
then the time for discussion or conversation is past and the time for action is at hand. I
recall in Nigeria a few years ago, when the military government put advertisements on
the television explaining that what Nigeria needs is dialogue. They reminded the people
of the civil war the nation had gone through. But in reality, the call for dialogue and
peace was a way for the military government to perpetuate itself in power and wear down
the opposing forces who were calling for stronger action and protest by the people against
that military government. In this case, the call to dialogue was a misuse or abuse of the
true aim and goals of conversation.
This essay proposes to reflect on the meaning and importance of conversation in
Christian life and ministry, Such a topic might seem too simple and obvious, yet it is
indispensable and a topic we often overlook. We take occasions for quality conversation
for granted. We fail to reflect on the everyday occurrences and possibilities for
conversation which enriches and deepens our lives and relationships.
Much of what is said here applies to every Christian. It applies in a special way to the
apostolic lives of religious, priests, and lay men and women. As we will see, all life and
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ministry can be enriched, improved, through deepening of the art and skill of
conversation, In recent years, religious life has been affected by the hustle and bustle of
modern life. It has struggled with the changes, challenges and uncertainties of the
present. The communal and individual life-style, the structures, and apostolic goals of
religious congregations must continually be re-evaluated and updated in accord with the
directives and example of the Second Vatican Council, and with the revised Code of
Canon Law. In this process of ongoing aggiornamento true conversation becomes all the
more important and indispensable as consecrated men and women try to live out a
common vision in accord with their particular charism.
Not only in internal renewal and community life, but also in apostolic activity,
conversation plays an increasingly important role, affecting preaching, retreats, prayer
groups, spiritual direction, catechesis, and the mission of liberation and inculturation.
New methods, new directions, new contexts, new tools significant for Christian ministry
inundate us. How do we find our way through these new challenges and possibilities?
While all Christians are called to be signs and witnesses of the Word of God who is
Jesus Christ, men and women religious in a special, public, and ecclesiastically approved
way, must be special witnesses to the world. Thus they should exemplify true
conversation, true dialogue, and compassionate listening - what St. Ignatius Loyola calls
"the art and grace of conversation."
In outline, we will examine first the contemporary setting in which we live and
converse, highlighting several differences from previous ages. Then we will offer some
general experiential, philosophical and psychological reflections on conversation. We
then move to the Christian theological input on the significance of conversation for
Christian life and ministry, with a special focus upon the thought and writings of St.
Ignatius Loyola, founder of the Society of Jesus. With increased education and global
awareness, with rapidly improved means of communication, we then look to several new
voices that must be included in the conversation. We will also offer suggestions on how
to improve in the practice of conversation. The first suggestion is more in the way of
theory, through the concept of complementarity. This is followed by more practical
suggestions.i
The goal of this book is to make us more aware of our opportunities for conversation
in our everyday life and world. This awareness will enable us to enrich our Christian
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life and ministry as we explore the various parameters, goals, strategies, virtues, and
contexts for conversation. In a word, this work might be seen as a handbook, a guide and
resource, with practical suggestions, ways and means to enrich our conversation, and
through that, to enrich our lives.
Etymology and Definition of Conversation
The richness of the meaning of many words can be explored through a study of
their etymology. Conversation is such a word. It is a "turning together", or a turning
around, from the Latin convertere. In its early use, according to the Oxford English
Dictionary, it had the broader meaning of living or being among other persons, or simply,
our way of life. Thus a traditional translation of the biblical verse from St. Paul states that
"our conversation is in heaven" (Phil. 3:20).
The word conversation also related closely to the word conversion, stemming from
the same Latin roots. An example of this closeness is found in the Rule of St. Benedict.
One section of his rules concerns new novices, and how they are incorporated into the
Benedictine way of life. The title of Chapter 58 of this rule originally in Latin was
“conversatio morum.” meaning the manner of our way of living; but later it was printed
as “conversio morum,” meaning the conversion of our way of living. According to
commentators, this was not simply an error of printing, but arose from the close
relationship between “conversation” and “conversio.” It indicates that “conversatio” in
Latin too, originally had a much broader meaning than talk or dialogue, and in fact
pointed to the overall Benedictine way of life.ii
From its most general meaning as “our way of life,” gradually the word is used in a
more restricted sense, to refer to consorting or dealing with others in commerce or in
intimacy. In Shakespeare, for example, conversation may refer to sexual intercourse. In
Richard III, the King speaks of Hastings’ “conversation with Shore’s wife,” referring to
an adulterous affair. We may note one further early use in the Christian tradition,
according to the OED. There is reference to the "conversation of the Bread," meaning the
change or conversion of bread into the Body of Christ.
Eventually the word conversation becomes even more restricted and in fact
identified with "discourse," or "friendly oral interchange of views". This is how we use it
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today. Nevertheless, this brief study of the etymology already begins to reveal depths,
connections, and potential hidden in the common word, the everyday phenomenon of
conversation.
The Human Experience and Context of Conversation
Modern Means of Communication
We have already referred to the increased noise level of our world. Not only is there
more noise, there are many more types of voices, and many new ways of communicating.
We have the world at our fingertips through the television, the computer and the internet.
We hear the voices of the poor and the rich, the educated and the illiterate, the developed
and the developing. Many languages, cultures and competing interests are displayed
before us.
The personal computer through the internet links our desks with the resources of
libraries and research institutes.. Phone links and e-mail allow instant communication
around the globe. The mobile phone means we are never out of range. The fax machine,
quickly being overtaken by e-mail, made sending a letter a matter of seconds rather than
days or weeks, Ironically, it uses phone lines which are two way, but it eliminates instant
conversational feedback. We prepare our message, deliver it succinctly, clearly, and then
await an answer. With the e-mail and the fax machine, the feedback may take some time,
rather than be spontaneously and instantaneous. On the other hand, these have the
advantage of not interrupting in the way that the way phone does. Even when engaged in
serious meetings or in prayer, we usually think nothing of breaking off, jumping up to
answer the telephone. We interrupt an ongoing face-to-face conversation to speak with
someone over the phone. E-mail in actual practice is somewhat between letter writing
and phone conversation. It is not as formal or exact as a letter, but neither is it as direct
and personal as a phone or face-to-face conversation. Even though we live in a world
of information and entertainment, saturated with radio, television, videos, and cassettes,
at the same time, the world of books and libraries continues to expand and grow.
It could be argued that all these electronic means of communication are variations of
conversation, and look to conversation as the basic and prime analogate for
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communication. Each of them could be examined in detail in this relationship to
conversation, but a few examples will suffice.
According to Laurence Sterne, "writing, when properly managed is but a different
name for conversation." Writing is successful insofar as it imitates the virtues and
communication values of conversation. Something is written, in order that it be read, be
reflected upon, and then elicits a response.
Reading too, models itself upon conversation. "To sit alone in the lamplight with a
book spread out before you, and hold intimate conversation with men of unseen
generations - such is a pleasure beyond compare." So writes Yoshida Kenko. Reading a
good book is to enter into dialogue with the author and his or her ideas. I personally find
it an advantage to know personally, or at least to some acquaintancw with the author of
the book I am reading. This makes a difference, as I tend to imagine that person in
conversation, speaking as I read what he or she has written. There is a more personal
bond established, and as result, I read the book more carefully and I hope more critically.
Those who listen to BBC World Radio surely know of Alisdair Cooke's Letter from
America. This has been aired on BBC World Service for almost 50 years. Why so long
running, why so successful? According to BBC officials, "he has the greatest gift, the
ability to appear to be speaking spontaneously to each listener individually. He has
grasped absolutely the nature cadences of conversation.”iii Alisdair Cooke explains that
in writing his weekly program, he talks to his typewriter. While millions may eventually
hear his words, he adds that his imaginary audience is limited to one or two at most. He
explains:
If you go for three, then you begin to change the pitch of voice, you
start doing a little lecture. My test has always been that if you are in a
corridor or next room and you hear a voice and you are not sure
whether it is somebody talking or whether they are on the radio, there is
a good broadcaster.
Many successful television shows, The Tonight Show of Johnny Carson for so many
years, Charlie Rose,, Donahue, Oprah Winfrey, and Larry King, have as their base,
conversation or a conversational format. So too, many of the current events programs and
discussion programs echo the model of conversation among friends or colleagues.
Sunday morning news programs, and in fact the daily morning shows on television
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basically consist of interviews, of conversations. In one sense, the television audience is
invited to enter into the conversation.
Most major sports events covered by radio or television do not have one commentator
but at least two. These commentators sit together, talk, joke, support or correct one
another, in the form of an ongoing conversation about the basketball or baseball game.
They not only report on the game they are viewing, but provide background information,
expertise, stories, prospects and predictions as they invite us into their ongoing
conversation.
Significant too are developments whereby we interact with computers and with
television. Our feedback (= input into the conversation) is required for the media or the
machine to function properly. The fact that high powered computers and programs can
now defeat all but the best international grand masters in chess shows how refined and
sophisticated this interaction with the mechanical brain has become. At the same time, we
see that this relationship to a machine in a game of chess involves analogies to our
relationship to another human person in conversation.
The free speech movement and unbridled pluralism are characteristics of our age.
Increased specialization in the universities and the business world make it more difficult
for scholars to communicate with one another across disciplines. Pluralism has entered
the mainstream of theology. An oversimplified dogmatic question-and-answer approach
no longer suffices. In this age of pluralism, it would seem that more than ever there is
need for conversation to hold together the various forces, voices, movements, lest each
person go off in his or her own direction. Our danger lies in missing the forest for the
myriad of different trees, each with its own voice or appeal. In genuine conversation,
there still may be hope to overcome this growing and sometimes unbridled pluralism. I
will return to this later, and speak of the language of "complementarity" as a possible
path through the world of pluralism or multi-culturalism.
At the same time there is also the tendency to a strong individualism. This manifests
itself in the expressions, "I must follow my conscience," and “I must do my own thing.”
Admitting the truth of the necessity to follow one's conscience, this phrase should not be
used as a way to end discussion, end dialogue. It can represent a close-mindedness,
narrowness, rigidity, or an inability to grow and change one's opinions. The need to
follow one's conscience must be balanced by the need to inform one's conscience. This is
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achieved through reading, reflection, and in terms of our theme, through conversation.
The art of conversation plays an essential role in the formation of one's conscience.
Somewhat ironically, the electronic tools and technology that have made
increased communication possible, have also increased our isolation. Now, instead of
meeting and talking face-to-face with colleagues, we read their e-mail, we keep in touch
by phone or fax. Even children fall prey to this. Instead of playing with one another in
streets and schoolyards, they may spend hours in their homes in front of the television or
playing games on their computer. Technological advances, to be sure, have a potential
downside to them.
Changes in Religious Life
It may seem strange to single out consecrated religious life when talking about shifts
in our view of conversation. But I think that this focus will be a helpful and revealing
way to lead us into the larger shift that has taken place in culture and society. In religious
life we see the contrast between old and new forms of spirituality and ministry more
sharply. In consecrated life we have a tradition where conversation has been and
remains significant, amidst these larger cultural shifts.
A brief listing of changes in consecrated religious and in priestly life will point to
important changes in our views on conversation. Before Vatican II, a hallmark of a
religious house was the virtue of silence. Apostolic communities were heavily modelled
upon the model of monastic, or even contemplative religious communities, where silence
was central. Without denying the value and place of silence, a major shift has occurred.
The tradition of silent meals or reading at table is frequently replaced by conversation.
On the other hand, in place of communal recreation for a scheduled time after meals, or at
least the main meal, many members gather around the television to watch the evening
news, having spent the meal itself in conversation. Indeed many private rooms are now
equipped with television sets, leading to less community gathering and more individuated
time schedules. I would suggest that a new norm is implicitly arising in how we evaluate
religious life in community. This would be the quality of its conversation, rather than the
extent of its silence!
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Not only religious life, but also the ministry of religious has shifted. More elements
of dialogue and conversation have been introduced into pastoral ministry, for example in
the celebration of the Eucharist and the sacrament of Reconciliation, and in communal
prayer services. Later we will examine this in greater detail.
In light of the growing plurality of voices competing for one's allegiance, in light of
the shift from silence as the test of conversation, in light of a more dialogical view of
pastoral ministry itself, it seems opportune to focus upon conversation and its place in
Christian life and ministry.
Several studies have appeared in recent years that treat of one aspect, namely spiritual
conversation, conversation on spiritual topics. But I would like to broaden out from that
more narrow focus (spiritual as opposed to material or worldly) and expand the word
spiritual to include any serious conversation concerning the world and humankind. Thus
conversation economic problems on a local or international level, conversations about
the health of a neighbor's child can be considered topics of "spiritual conversation". This
is merely asserted here, and this will be developed later in light of a more fully developed
theology of incarnation.
Experiences of Conversation
We all know persons who are excellent conversationalists. No matter what the topic,
no matter what the makeup of the group, in the presence of such a person, the
conversation becomes alive and moves. They bring out the best in others. Through their
interest and ability to listen and initiate, they act as a catalyst for the others. We all learn
and enjoy. It is a pleasure to be with such persons..
Of course there are extremes too. We know of people who talk too much about
topics they know little or nothing about. On the other hand, we know of persons of the
silent type, who seem unwilling, uninterested, incapable of entering into, and sharing in
conversation. We must also make allowance for different types of personalities, from the
reserved to the garrulous. We must also allow for cultural and gender differences.
We can also recall specific experiences where we have passed exciting and
stimulating hours of conversation, oblivious to the passage of time. These rare occasions
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may well have deeply informed and influenced our way of thinking about specific issues,
political, cultural, or religious issues. The word "conversion" is not too strong to
describe what had occurred, when insight and revelation result from the conversation. We
end up somewhat tired or exhausted from having listened intently and shared deeply. At
the same time we end up refreshed, invigorated because of the excitement and
stimulation of the conversation. We can probably agree that many of our most significant
learning and growth experience came not from hearing lectures or sermons, or reading
books, or watching television, but from conversations which engaged us and challenged,
drew upon, and informed our deepest views and principles.
Reflecting on our own experience, we might also think of a small group of persons
we call special friends, possibly relatives, classmates, or member of our religious
congregations. Is not a central part of the meaning and identity of this group the fact that
with these persons, whether in a group or one-on-one, we easily fall into interesting,
significant conversation. We touch topics of common concern, and of much greater
significance than the weather or the latest sports scores. In these conversations we are
challenged and in turn challenge others.
The Dialogue in Philosophical Discourse
Thus far I have appealed to our experience of actual conversations, drawing the
reader into reflection on these special times. But we can also reflect on conversation by
drawing upon sources in philosophy, psychology, and theology.
It is no accident that several classical and modern philosophers and theologians have
used the form of the dialogue or conversation to express their ideas: for example, the
Dialogues of Plato, Gregory, Augustine and Schleiermacher. and the plays of Gabriel
Marcel. This mode of expression seems more natural, and draws and invites the reader
into the very conversation, the search for truth, rather that more simply and
authoritatively present the reader with the finished product. Plato explains that by
conversing many times, and by long, familiar intercourse, a light is kindled in a flash and the moment of insight comes as gift. Socrates, engaged in conversation in the
Dialogues, in his person represents the prototypical seeker after truth and the finder of
knowledge. Conversation is thus based upon a process view of truth, truth which emerges
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only after struggle and dialogue. Truth must be personally discovered and appropriated,
and that truth is seen as unfolding and unfinished.
As the philosopher Gadamer explains, understanding itself, and the process of
understanding, are best understood using the model of authentic conversation.iv Certainly
one can learn much about oneself, one can clarify one's vision and ideas through solitary
thinking, through moments of reflective silence. But are not the insights gained through
introspection then necessarily shared, tested, refined, through conversation? The interior
speech or conversation with oneself leads quite naturally to conversation with another or
with others. One can also come to know oneself in and through dialogue with other. The
search for understanding and truth entices and at times forces one to express one’s ideas,
to take a stand that is challenged. In that process clarity is achieved. The very process of
expressing our views results in greater clarity and deeper understanding and insight.
Might one not also say that even the thesis method of scholastic philosophy and
theology, as exemplified in the Summa of Thomas Aquinas, is effective because in a
formal. perhaps rigid way it incorporates elements of conversation. In this method we
set forth positions, listen to them, and then must argue and overcome them by counter
positions. This is the method of an effective teacher, enabling, encouraging the learner
first to listen, to understand, and then enter into dialogue with many voices competing for
the truth.
Huddling in the world of business
Success in the business world often involves a form of conversation that is called
"huddling". In the world of sports, football, for example, huddling means coming
together to strategize, to plan the next play. In the business world it refers to the informal
task-oriented encounters between two or more persons trying to get something done.
They might be chance encounters around the coffee machine. They might be a rushed
session, conferring for ten minutes before a major board meetings. They are a way to
clarify agenda, to build consensus, to strategize before more formal, lengthy meetings.
These informal meetings are key to the success of the concept of huddling. At bottom,
they are conversations, and apply not only to business companies but to religious
communities and parish councils.
African Palaver
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Traditional cultures are oral cultures, without a written body of literature. The values,
customs, language, proverbs, traditions and stories are handed down from elder to
younger through conversations. Conversation is the life-line of such cultures.
One example to show the importance of conversation in traditional African cultures is
the "palaver". In the oral culture still so predominant throughout Africa, such palaver
meetings are all important. At these meetings, every person must be granted the right to
speak, even if the meeting goes on for hours and hours. Airing of opinions, sharing of
views, and eventually, consensus, becomes the goal of the community meeting in Africa.
We even speak of the sacred "right to palaver". To cut discussion short, to stop the
palaver, to move to a vote goes strongly against the grain. In the final analysis it is
counterproductive. One must talk through the issues and see of those who disagree can at
least go along with the views of those who outnumber them. Everyone must feel
comfortable with the decision taken. A consensus model of truth prevails, rather than a
majority vote model. One should not do violence to those who "lose". Much effort goes
into waiting, dialoguing, listening, to see if the minority can calmly accept (even if they
do not totally agree with) the views of the majority.
This way of proceeding is very time consuming. A few dissenters can hold up the
entire group for hours. On the other hand, it tries to assure that peace and unity prevail in
the group. No one should go away feeling that his or her opinion has not been heard. The
group must proceed ahead, together. While the system of majority vote (using for
example, the highly structured Robert's Rule of Order ) can be more efficient and much
faster, it may result in dissatisfaction which eventually will surface and possibly lead to
further meetings to iron out difficulties.
Of course, the “right to palaver” can be abused. The word palaver has negative
overtones, sometimes referring to thoughtless, endless talk over issues, where no progress
is made, shouting without listening, more heat than light - what in the USA in the
imagery of baseball might equivalently be called a rhubarb.
With this reference to African culture, let me add another experience. The cinema, the
movie theater is not that common in Nigeria, But the audience at such shows is much
more active, and indeed talkative, than at the cinema in the USA. They make comments,
converse with their neighbors, rather than hold the respectful silence expected of the
American audience. The African desires to join in the dialogue of the film, participate
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more fully. A more conversational model predominates. As we will see in reflections on
Church ministry, there is the same desire to participate actively in the Sunday worship,
including the sermon.
The Quaker Meeting House
The Society of Friends, or Quakers, gather regularly for prayer, and planning for
action. Silence plays a major role in these meetings - as indeed it plays a major role in
successful conversation. For Quakers, silence is the restful, quiet time in which the
interior conversation takes place, when we let the Spirit work and speak to the group. It is
the time to let sink in what others have spoken, time to let it move and guide us. Silence
is not abhorred, but welcomed, restful and refreshing. If a whole hour goes by with no
one speaking, that hour is not lost for the Spirit has been at work in quiet ways, and the
community is more united through its shared silence. Similar to the African palaver, in
coming to decisions, consensus, or the "sense of the meeting" is preferred to majority
vote. In fact, voting is forbidden. The leaders of the meeting must wait upon God and
not be influenced simply by numbers. The feelings and views of all are listened to, and
ideally no decision is taken unless everyone in the group is willing to go along with it.
The correct decision will eventually emerge, the decision which clearly commends itself
to the heard and mind of all those gathered as the right one.
Family Conversation
It might be helpful, but also embarrassing, to review a typical day at home, or in a
religious community, and reflect upon how much quality conversation took place. Were
there opportunities that were grasped or lost? Did the father listen to the difficulties and
setbacks faced by his wife during the day? Did the wife listen to the husband? Are the
children included in the conversation? While much talk in the home is simply necessary
to keep things going, should there not be more occasions, more occurrences of quality
conversation among family members? So many serious issues are at stake; larger issues
such as career choices, choice of schools or moral issues. Family values and Christian
values should be communicated through the example of parents, but should they not also
become the topic of conversation? Should not the views, opinions, hopes and fears of the
children be listened to regularly? Not only will this help the child move to maturity, but it
enhances family unity and solidarity. To turn a phrase, a family that converses together,
stays together.
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Barriers, Obstacles to Genuine Conversation
We have all experienced wonderful, exciting moments of conversation. We have
also all experienced breakdowns in communication. We were unable to communicate,
to give or receive information, unable to share our views or even our feelings. We felt
ourselves misunderstood, or not really being listened to. What are some of the reasons
or factors in this breakdown? Why is true conversation so difficult to achieve or
maintain?
We list here some of the factors that may enter in. We have control over some of
them. Our hope is that the awareness of these factors should help in enabling better
communication.
Culture
In an oral culture, as found for example in Africa, persons are more apt to listen
than to speak. They do not approach topics head on, but more indirectly, waiting for the
proper milieu, waiting for the right moment, waiting for the context to be established,
waiting for a relationship of trust to be established. In contrast, in the USA we usually
wade right in. We are direct, blunt, very informal, and yet often superficial in our
relationships and our conversations. We also are aware of stereotypes of those of
Italian ancestry who speak with their hands, stereotypes of the Spanish or Latin
Americans who speak more quickly than French or Germans.
The list is easily
multiplied. There may be truth but also exaggeration in these images. Yet they do enter
in and play a part, conscious or unconscious in our encounters with persons of other
traditions, cultures, or ethnic roots.
The physical distance between two persons engaged in conversation may also
vary according to cultures. So too, the degree of eye contact. In all of these, there can
be misunderstandings, blocks, or barriers to true communication.
Age.
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Imagine a six year old child speaking with a grandparent. The grandparent may
physically be hard of hearing, and the child’s attention span may be very short. Their
world seem to be worlds apart. Or, teenagers with their parents. Their vocabulary or
choice of words vary, and of course, the topics in which they are interested vary greatly.
It takes time and effort to listen, to cross the boundaries, to communicate and to really
understand the other across the barrier of age.
Gender
Numerous studies show that women think and hence speak differently than men. We
may have in mind the traditional stereotypes - women are more emotional, and men more
rational. Granted that these are stereotypes, more careful study and experiments do
indicate different patterns, expectations, and ways of expressing oneself, between men
and women. Again, these differences can easily result in mis-communication or a
breakdown in communication.. We shall develop this more fully in a later chapter.
Modern Life and Culture
We talk of living in the fast lane. We are bombarded by forty channels on television,
by talk shows, by myriads of magazines and newspapers, by computers, internet and email.
In all of this, the more genteel pace and rhythm of conversation may get edged
out. Both the time and place of interpersonal conversation may be lessened, and our
ability to enter into, sustain, and carry on a good conversation may be damaged by living
“in the fast lane.”
Power
Someone said that I cannot learn anything from a person who has authority or power
over me. While this is surely an exaggeration, it points to the truth that we do not enter
equally into conversations. Some have more authority, education, influence, and verbal
ability, etc. If they make this felt in the conversation, the other person becomes passive,
overwhelmed, or even withdraws.
No true communication takes place where one
partner dominates, or where one partner for all practical purposes has the final word.
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Language
Last and probably most significant is the question of language. For many persons in
the USA, English is their second or third language. They may not think or express
themselves well in English. Hence their ability to contribute and respond in conversation
may be hindered. Not only content and vocabulary, but nuances, jokes, connotations may
easily be missed in communicating with another for whom English is a second or third
language. We need not remind ourselves that citizens of the USA are notoriously weak
in reaching out to learn a second language. The growing use of English makes it ever
more difficult to motivate those in the USA to study and learn any foreign language.
The list could be longer. Here we merely point to some of the many factors that
may militate against genuine conversation. None of them is insuperable. We all have
experiences where these obstacles were present, and no doubt we all have experiences
when the barriers were overcome. Being aware of the potential barriers, reflecting on
them, may go a long way in overcoming them.
Characteristics and Dynamics of Genuine Conversation
We now list and explain some of the characteristics of good conversation, as opposed
to debate, chatter, or monologue.
Openness in Seeking the Truth
In genuine conversation all partners are open to the truth that is larger than any
individual's or the group's perception of the truth. The participants do not defend or argue
for their own position, as much as seek this truth or higher viewpoint which encompasses
their partial understandings. If we enter a conversation with the major or sole object to
strengthen or reinforce our own views, or to convince the conversational partners that
they are wrong, that conversation is doomed to failure. The very etymology of the word
conversation involves "conversion" turning from our limited perceptions towards the
positive acceptance of the truth. This demands unselfishness and openness, a positive
acceptance of the truth of another position. What matters most in a conversation is the
subject matter, the truth sought, and not the personalities, not the points to be scored by
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the participants. We can say therefore that the first aim of dialogue is not to convert
others, but understanding and listening. In this sense we allow ourselves to be converted
and drawn to the truth.
To summarize this, we listen to what William Sloane Coffin has said. He explains
that we can build a community out of seekers of truth, but not out of possessors of truth.
It seems clear that a conversational model of truth is in reality a processive model, that is,
the truth lies ahead of us, unfinished, discovered gradually, at times painfully, slowly,
through the intense search and discussion - through conversation.
Truth Emerges as Gift
David Tracy explains that in true conversation the question (and partial answers), the
search for truth begins to take over and carries the participants along.v This, I believe, is
a profound truth and insight and offers a truer image than saying that the participants
carry on the conversation. When the partners move past self-consciousness and selfaggrandizement into joint reflection upon the subject matter, when they allow the
question and the quest for truth to take over, then genuine conversation occurs.
Understanding happens not in a logical, predetermined way, not as a result of personal
achievement, not for one's personal satisfaction, but as gift. It emerges in the give and
take. We might say that the truth draws and leads us, and finally we chance upon it.
The understanding or insight that comes as a gift, is given in a linguistic form, yet
not merely on the level of feeling. A truth is discovered in and through the mode of
conversation is one that is more readily remembered. It has a more lasting effect because
of the struggle that led to it. In an experience of genuine conversation we find that our
whole self is involved. We become totally engrossed, present in the conversation and
draw upon our deepest and richest resources in the pursuit of truth. Emotions and feelings
are present and shared; consolation and desolation are experienced. We draw upon our
personal experience, we make manifest our interests and assumptions. At the same time,
conversation calls for admission of our weakness and ignorance. It demands humility and
vulnerability, acknowledging that I may be wrong and that I am certainly not the sole
possessor of knowledge and truth. Dialogue, according to Paulo Freire, must arise from
an attitude of profound love for the world and for humankind. It is a love that seeks to
know, and then act upon that knowledge, a love that respects the perspectives, insights,
and experience of others, a love that is willing to face the mystery of truth tghat
encompasses all. Dialogue too presupposes faith in the human, faith in our communal
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ability to seek and find the truth. In dialogue we dare to trust another to journey with us
on the path to truth.
Richard Rorty defines or describes the very role of philosophy in human history as "a
voice in the conversation of mankind.”vi Culture in this view, is constituted by the
serious conversations that people of a particular culture hold. According to Gadamer,
conversation is "a foundational metaphor for what it means to be human".
The Ingredient of Humor
The experience of conversation also reveals that frequently in the midst of the most
serious and gripping conversation, humor or comic relief appears spontaneously, or is
consciously interjected. Without detracting from the serious pursuit of truth, humor
serves to bring the participants closer together, united in jest, fun, in the trivial. It
reminds us to keep a proper perspective on what we are about. The spiritual writer,
Anthony DeMello, loved to tell us that occasionally, or even daily, when we are tempted
to take ourselves too seriously, it is good to remind ourselves that at bottom, "we are all
asses".
The Imjportance of Each Individual
In fruitful conversation, each of the participants feels important. He or she is
considered a resource, invited to share what he or she knows. Maisie Ward remarked that
G.K. Chesterton “had a way in conversation of making you feel brilliant.” For
Chesterton no human being was boring. The experience of every individual holds
hidden wisdom and treasures, and these become accessible through genuine conversation,
if we have the wisdom and patience to draw that forth..
One key to successful conversation accordingly is to involve the others - all the others
if possible - on the level of their interest and expertise. We can surely recall conversations
where we felt uneasy because one or two dominate, and one or other person was left out,
left on their own.
Attentive Listening
It is obvious, but often overlooked, that we learn more from listening than from
talking. A proverb puts this succinctly: "God gave us two ears and one mouth. We
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should use them accordingly". When we talk, for the most part we are sharing what we
already know. When we question and listen, we gain new knowledge and insight.
Henry David Thoreau wrote that “it takes two to speak truth - one to speak - and another
to hear.”
To remind us of the complexity of conversation and of the importance of listening,
another writer goes further and suggests that in every conversation between two people,
there are always at least six persons present. What each person said are two: what each
person meant to say are two more; and what each person understood the other to say are
two more.
Conviction Together with Flexibility
Difficult to achieve, yet necessary for successful dialogue, is the balance between
holding an opinion and being open to modifying that viewpoint. On the one hand, we do
not contribute to a conversation if we enter with a complete blank mind, a tabula rasa. On
the other hand, we cannot learn anything if we enter with totally fixed views, with our
mind made up. As already indicated, the most important attitude must be commitment to
truth, truth that is beyond my own limited grasp. At the same time, I should enter with
my viewpoints and convictions, willing to share them and willing to have them
challenged. In contrast to this openness, if I enter with non-negotiable views, I do not
enter the flow of conversation, the movement towards truth, but remain outside. My
fixed views become an obstacle to others in understanding my position too, since I do
not critically or sympathetically expose my position, but only proclaim and repeat.
Win/win rather than Win/lose
In true conversation there are no winners and losers, but only winners, because in
such conversation, everyone draws nearer to the truth. In effect, no one loses. Epicurus
explains that in a philosophical dispute, he gains most who is defeated, since he learns
most. In this sense, conversation is very clearly distinguished from a debate. In a debate,
one enters with fixed convictions and tries to refute others, show that I am right and you
are wrong. It is a battle of minds, a competition in which one winner and one loser
emerges. In contrast to this, in dialogue or genuine conversation all succeed because all
grow closer to the truth which is beyond each and every one of them.
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Semi-formal settings
One further example of successful conversation in human life is found in the so
called “third place.” By this I refer, as some psychologists do to the importance of the
neighborhood bar, the afternoon tea, or the coffee-house. The television series Cheers
was a good example of this so-called "third place". It represents a situation between our
family at home, and our work place, where we can be at ease among equals. This locale is
seemingly non-purposive, where my opinion is respected on topics ranging from sports
and weather to politics, religion, and current events. It is an important place of
refreshment and relaxation with an ongoing core group of friends.
Conversation at this "third place" involves give and take. It offers me a place to air
and explore my pet views, my opinions on no less than what is right and wrong with the
world! Perhaps the phrase "democratic friendship" aptly describes such a neighborhood
bar or afternoon tea group. It fills an important function in the lives of many, providing a
distance from home and office by offering a distinct realm, space, social environment
with its own expectations and informal rules.
Conversation overcoming conflict.
Examining conversation from a more global perspective with John Courtney Murray,
we can say that a defining characteristic of civilization or the polis, is the presence of true
conversation among the citizenry. In his essay on "The Civilization of the Pluralistic
Society", vii he explains that barbarians are those who by etymological definition cannot
carry on a reasonable conversation. In a society which is increasingly pluralistic, multicultural, there is need more than ever for dialogue rather than monologue, for civil
argument rather than argument dominated by passion or prejudice.
So too, Pope John Paul II argues that a prerequisite for any community is the
acceptance and practice of dialogue, regardless of the obstacles and difficulties it may
bring. Only through such dialogue can partial, preconceived, and subjective views be
challenged and eliminated. Rather than do away with opposition, true conversation
allows the opposition to become part of the constructive process of building the true
community.
On Being Human
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While some define human beings as social and rational animals, the critic George
Steiner speaks differently. He asserts that "we are monads haunted by communion".viii In
either definition, communication and therefore conversation might be viewed as defining
the human individual and human community. In accord with this description of Steiner,
we might say that we owe one another the gift of strong and good conversation.
Virtues of Genuine Conversation
As a summary and as a suitable transition to more explicitly Christian reflections on
conversation, we will set forth some of the virtues or attitude required for successful
conversation. We will then list contrary vices than hinder genuine conversation.
In his Introduction to the Devout life, ix St. Francis de sales includes one chapter
entitled "Certain Further Advice with Respect to Conversation". He begins with his list of
virtues and vices "Let your language be mild, open, sincere, frank, unaffected, and
honest. Guard against equivocation, artifice, or dissimulation". In accord with his
Christian faith that stresses the love of God, St. Francis stresses that "nothing is ever
gained by harshness". While his few pages are well-worth reading, let me set forth my
own list of virtues and then vices.
Sympathy. Hazlitt writes boldly that "the soul of conversation is sympathy". Some
prefer to call this an attitude of "empathy". One must be deeply interested in the person
and topic. One tries to understand and build bridges between viewpoints, tries to see as
the other sees. As the Indian proverb puts it, we try to "walk in their shoes".
Attentiveness. Conversation involves the rare virtue of deep, attentive listening and
questioning in order to clarify what another persons means, and why he or she hold that
opinion. To listen to another is demanding. It is to go to his or her school with the
conviction that he or she has something to teach us. Lord Acton puts this strongly. "No
one has the right to attack or oppose a contrary view until one can express that view not
only as well, but better than its proponents can.”
Broadmindedness. One cannot limit the topic to one's own private interests. We must
be willing and able to move out and explore new areas. We must stretch the mind and
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imagination, show willingness to grapple with the tentative, the unfinished. An openness
to the new is a prerequisite for successful conversation.
Charity. An overriding concern must be to see the good in another's views. We give
them the benefit of the doubt. We must never so challenge another's views in such a
direct manner that the dialogue cannot continue. We must work patiently to lead persons
to see the possible inadequacy of their position from within their own perspective, if we
judge their position to be inadequate. Paulo Freire puts this rather bluntly: “Dialogue
cannot exist in the absence of a profound love for the world and for men.”x He adds that
“if I do not love the world - if I do not love life - if I do not love men - I cannot enter into
dialogue.”xi
Unselfishness. Rather than fight for one's own views, or try to win arguments, our
concern must be for the truth which is larger than my perception of it. I am not trying to
gain advantage over other persons, not trying to shine at their expense. I am with them,
searching for truth. This could also be described as seldflessness or a "self-emptying",
whereby we do not identify our own position or ourselves with the truth, but remain open
to truth which is always greater.
Tact There is a time for silence, and a time to speak. A time to challenge and a time
to listen patiently. Tact refers to the quick and sure judgement of what is suitable,
agreeable, and ultimately effective. It involves sensitivity to the viewpoints and indeed,
the feelings of others, so that progress can be made in and through the dialogue.
Enthusiasm. Unless one brings zest and energy to a conversation, including a
willingness to pick it up if it falters, an ability to try a new task, a conversation is doomed
to mediocrity. Enthusiasm results from a combination of optimism and mental alertness.
It presupposes a sense of hope in the possibility of moving together to the good and the
true.
Vulnerability. Plato writes that "dialogue is worth the trouble only if you consider it
a gain to be proved wrong; otherwise it is better not to start". We must be willing to
expose and at times die to our own opinions, willing to expose our ignorance as the only
path to the fuller truth. This could also be described as powerlessness, which is directly
opposed to the will to dominate or to pressurize. Freire refers of the same reality by
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saying that “dialogue cannot exist without humility.” Or again, “how can I dialogue if I
always project ignorance unto others and never perceive my own?”
Freedom. One must be free, willing to have one's cherished views challenged and
changed. We do not cling to the old, to the past. This might be described as an attitude
of indifference or "poised freedom". We remain open to the discovery of new truth, open
to the modification of inadequate views.
Humor. The ability to see the bright and humorous side, the ability to laugh at our
own foibles and limited perspectives, will often unite those in conversation in a relaxed
and creative atmosphere. Instead of taking ourselves and our viewpoints and even the
subject matter too seriously, we relax and enjoy. We see and admit the need for all of us
to continued growth. We gain a perspective on our past certainties. We can only laugh if
we are inwardly free.
Gentleness. As already indicated, St. Francis de Sales, gentle and gentleman saint,
writes that nothing is ever gained by harshness. Even if we have to contradict another, we
should do this "with much mildness and dexterity, so as not to irritate his temper."xii
Confidentiality.
Not every conversation calls for confidentiality. Talking to the
worker at the check-out counter is very different from a more intimate conversation with
one or two close friends. Depending upon the time, place, circumstances, and topics,
confidentiality must be respected. Otherwise trust is broken, and that deeper level of
conversation will never be regained or reestablished with the persons concerned.
Faith in the Human Spirit and the Divine Spirit.
Freire writes that dialogue
“requires an intense faith in man, faith in his power to make and remake, to create and recreate, faith in his vocation to be more fully human.”xiii To engage in conversation takes
faith in the goodness of humanity, a trust in the good will of the other person, a trust that
the Spirit has spoken to that person and that I in turn can learn something from him or
her.
Vices that Hinder Conversation
As there are virtues that make genuine conversation possible, so there are opposing
vices or obstacles. We list some of them. As a matter of fact, many of these could be
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found rather speedily by listening to any number of radio talk shows, where current
events are discussed, and listeners call in with their opinion, often prodded by the talk
show host.
Arrogance. This is the desire to speak and act from a position of superiority, and the
inability to treat conversational partners as equals. This attitude of pride becomes a major
obstacle to collaborative learning. A proverb puts it this way: " 'I know it perfectly'
prevents the wasp from learning how to make honey.”.
Aggressiveness. Here we attack the views of others in a manner that shifts the search
for truth from the truth itself. Rather we focus on either the supposed truths in oneself or
on the supposed errors of others. We speak ad hominem.
Self-centeredness. This is an inability to look beyond one's own experience and
views, and always bringing the conversation back to what I think or hold. There is no
self-disclosure. Instead of helping others to search for the truth, one strives to have the
others agree with my position. The controversialist, in contrast to the conversationalist,
prefers him or herself to the truth.
Dogmatism. One speaks in absolutes, hoping for acceptance of what one says, and
not welcoming feedback. Archie Bunker, of the long running television show, All in the
Family, exemplifies this vice in his political views, his judgement about current events,
and his racial prejudices.
Impatience. Truth can be complex and difficult to come upon. One truth emerges,
and it forces us to modify our views of other realities. No easy route, no time-frame can
be set in advance in the seaech for truth. . Only the patient, and time-consuming search
will effectively approach the truth. It is all too easy to exclude voices we do not agree
with, to rush to conclusions that do not stand.
Domination. In place of mutuality, back and forth dialogue, one person dominates,
controls. That person takes on the role of master vs. pupil, or sees him or herself as
superior, with superior wisdom, and the other participants as subordinates. One does not
have the strength or courage to risk, to expose one's weakness, ignorance, and to trust in
the wisdom and good will of the other. As Henry David Thoreau has reminded us: "it
takes two to speak truth - one to speak and another to hear.”
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Controversialist. There is a strange attraction to heat rather than light. Some persons
seem almost automatically to take the contrary position, to stir up the waters. Even when
there is a movement to truth and consensus, the controversialist interrupts with his or her
pet ideas. This can be a subtle way to draw attention to oneself and one’s personal views,
rather than enable those engaged in conversation to draw together in common attention to
the truth sought.
Talkativeness. Ben Jonson writes that “talking and eloquence are not the same, to
speak and to speak well are two things. A fool may talk but a wise man speaks. Quality
is more important than quantity. The Swahili proverb puts it this way: "If there is plenty
of talking or telling, there is no listening." Or again, "If you talk and talk, your tongue
slips." In a word, some talk too much and say little. Democritus, centuries before the
Christian era, put it well and strongly when he said that to do all the talking and not be
willing to listen is a form of greed.
The list could go on. Good conversations do not simply happen. They require persons
who are willing, interested, and able, persons of virtue. Then, in the proper setting, with
the right partners, that rare species, that rare event, that all too infrequent happening
occurs, a true conversation that refreshes and rejuvenates. It is both enjoyable and
profitable, comforting and challenging. In that conversation, our true humanity is
disclosed. The maxim of the philosopher Publilius Syrus rings true: "Speech is a mirror
of the soul; as a person speaks, so is he or she.”
2. THEOLOGICAL REFLECTION ON CONVERSATION
Introduction
In the Christian tradition, as exemplified in the writings of Thomas Kempis, we
can find attitudes that are very cautious or even negative about conversation. In the
Imitation of Christ I, 20, 1, we read: "The greatest saints avoided the company of men as
much as they could, and choose to live with God in secret." Or again, "One holy man
said; As often as I have been among worldly company, I have left it with less fervor of
spirit than I had when I came. And this we often experience when we talk long" (I, 20, 1).
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The title of one of his chapters makes this point too: “That We should Avoid Superfluity
of Words and the Company of Worldly-Living Persons” (I. 10).
Admittedly these are brief selections. To be fair, in other passages Kempis writes
somewhat positively of conversation between God and the devout soul (II . 2) but he
usually offers cautions and fears at the same time. For example, we should "flee as far as
possible, the conversation of all worldly people" (III . 45). His viewpoint seems to be
based upon a strong view of sin, both original and actual sin, stemming from a rather
negative view of creation. There is a split between our relationship to God and also
between our relationship with other persons. Conversation with another person is viewed
for the most part as a distraction or even an obstacle to our goal which is union with
God. The monastic ideal of solitude and silence becomes the norm for all Christian life.
This, as we will see, is clearly not the view of this paper. I would strongly argue against
taking such a theology or spirituality as normative for Christian life. My own view, in a
word, is much more incarnational. And for this, we can turn briefly to the Scriptures for
input.
The Hebrew Scriptures
In the words of Abraham Joshua Heschel, the Bible has been beautifully described as
“God in Search of the Human.” Through the Spirit, God speaks words of love and
inspiration to the prophets, the leaders, and through them to the Israelite people. In the
words of Scripture, God communicates to God’s people. The Bible is the written record
of these revelations.
Frequently the Scriptures depict the encounter between God and human as a
conversation. Abraham bargains, contests, and debates, with God when he hears of the
impending destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah (Genesis 18). Moses is pictured
speaking with God, as a man speaks to his friend (Exodus 33). After he receives the ten
commandments, Moses remarks that the people rightfully say that "We have this day
seen God speak with man and man still live" (Deut. 5: 24).
God’s communication with his people continues in and through the prophets. God
calls each of the prophets personally and entrust him with a message. In Isaiah 25, the
kingdom of heaven is described as the heavenly banquet, with God and God's friends,
with the choicest food and wine, and needless to say, including good conversation.
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In the Wisdom literature, we discover cautions about speaking. We read in the book
of Ecclesiastes 3:7, “There is a time to speak and a time to be silent.” In the book of
Sirach: “Be steadfast in your understanding, and let your speech be consistent. Be quick
to hear, and deliberate in answering ... Glory and dishonor come from speaking, and a
man's tongue is his downfall" (5:10-13). Another passage from that same book shows
the significance of conversation. It is a beautiful descriptive passage and we quote it in
full.
In a shaken sieve the rubbish is left behind, so too the defects of a person
appear in one's talk.
The kiln tests the work of the potter.
The test of a person is on one's conversation.
The orchard where the tree grows is judged by the quality of its fruits.
Similarly, a person's words betray what one feels.
Do not praise one before he or she has spoken,
Since this is the test of persons (Sirach 27: 4-7).
The New Testament
The first words of the Hebrew Scriptures, the book of Genesis, instruct us that “in the
beginning God created the heavens and the earth” Gen. 1:1). In the New Testament, the
first words of the Gospel of John proclaim to us that "In the beginning was the Word.”
This Word has never been absent from human history as we see from the patriarchs,
judges, kings, and especially the prophets of the Hebrew Scriptures. According to the
Gospel of John this Word becomes flesh in Jesus Christ. In so doing, Jesus Christ
becomes the final ground and foundation for the significance of all conversation.
Human history is the history of listening or not listening to the Word of God. God is
not silent. God who spoke to our ancestors through the prophets, in these last days has
spoken to us by a Son (Heb. 1:1). In the bold formulation of John, The Word was made
flesh" (1:14).
Much of the remainder of the gospel of John consists of dialogical
encounters. Jesus meets the Samaritan women at the well of Jacob. Nicodemus comes to
him at night. Jesus encounters the man born blind, he goes to meet Martha and Mary.
The Synoptic gospels too depict Jesus going about from town to town, making the
most of the chance encounters with the sick, the crowds, the religious experts and
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leaders. A constant feature of the life and ministry of Jesus was dialogue. He was a
teacher and preacher, but on many occasions he is depicted in conversation, questioning,
and answering questions put to him. The miracles of Jesus were not impersonal acts of
power or magic They involved personal, faith-filled conversational encounters with the
person cured. Jesus drew from the sick and the infirm a response of faith and love. Thus,
for example, Jesus cures the two blind men, after their protestation of confident faith in
him. (Mt. 9:27-31).
Perhaps most significant is that much of the teaching of Jesus takes place around the
table at a meal. He eats and drinks with his disciples as well as with sinners and tax
collectors. He shares a meal with Zacchaeus and through the encounter and conversation,
Jesus announces that “today salvation has come to this house” (Lk.19: 9). Jesus is
criticized for this behavior, and yet continues it, and leaves it as an example for his
followers. Such table fellowship becomes a way for Jesus to instruct his apostles and to
practice reconciliation. He ends his public life in table fellowship with his apostles at the
last supper.
In his instructions and missioning, Jesus sends forth the disciples not alone as rugged
individuals, but as companions in groups of two. And when the disciples return from
missionary journey, he goes aside with them, to listen, to dialogue and review with them
their experience, their successes and failures (Mk. 6:30-33). He promised that where two
or three gather in his name, he would be in their midst (Mt. 18:20). Simone Well wisely
comments that Jesus said he would be with us in groups of two or three, and not
necessarily in groups of 50 or 100.. Only in a reasonably small group can authentic
conversation take place. There God promises to be present. Schillebeeckx takes this
gospel text of "two or three gathered in the name of Jesus" as one of the most significant
and enlightening texts of the entire New Testament, indicating the mode of the presence
of the Risen Lord in the Christian community.
One example from the public life of Jesus, of where two or three are gathered is the
description of the Transfiguration. In the gospel of Luke, "Behold, two men talked with
him, Moses and Elijah, who appeared in glory and spoke of his departure" (Luke 9: 3031). Jesus teaches by word and example. In his conduct, Jesus provides an example of
the importance of conversation. In his teaching, he reminds us of the seriousness of
speech and conversation. "I tell you, on the day of judgement, men and women will
render account for every careless word they utter; for by your words you will be justified,
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and by your words you will be condemned" (Matt. 12: 36-37). Not justification by faith
or justification by works, but by words!
Yet there is time to speak and a time to be silent. Before Pilate, realizing perhaps that
his words would fall on deaf ears, Jesus on trial, and facing death, remains silent. New
life emerges on East Sunday. The voice of Jesus is not stilled. In the accounts of the
resurrection appearances, Jesus again takes up his ministry of conversation. He appears
to, consoles, strengthens, and sends forth his disciples and apostles. The meeting of
Mary Magdalene with the gardener (the risen Lord) presents a poignant and engaging
conversation (Jn. 20:11-18).
The Easter story of the two disciples on the road to Emmaus contain many rich
insights into the importance of conversation. It becomes a paradigm for the ministry of
the early Christians as they now experience the Risen Lord in their midst. The two
disciples are walking away from Jerusalem in despair after Good Friday. They travel
together, a band of two, and talk over what had happened. Jesus, the stranger, joins them.
He continues the conversation and then enlarges it, reminding them of what the prophet
Isaiah had written. The conversation then continues in table fellowship. There they
recognize Jesus in the breaking of bread, and also no doubt in the conversation. “Were
not our hearts burning as he talked to us on the road” (Lk. 24:32)? They recount their
Easter story, and the good news of the resurrection spreads by word of mouth through
conversation.
In the Acts of the Apostles, the deacon Philip imitates the risen Lord as he joins the
Ethiopian eunuch on his journey (Acts. *:26-40). Through conversation Philip opens the
Scriptures to him and leads him, not yet to the table of the Lord as in the Emmaus story,
but to the waters of baptism.
Throughout the Acts of the Apostles, Christians continue to gather around the table in
prayer and conversation, for sharing the Word and breaking the bread (Acts 2:42-47).
When the Council of Jerusalem convenes (Acts 15) the church gathers to pray, discuss, to
listen to the Spirit speaking through the witness of Paul and Barnabas. There is also the
time and need for silence.
In the Pauline letters, we see that the Christian community at Corinth was blessed
with a variety of gifts and charisms. Paul wrote to them to encourage them and also to
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maintain the proper order and balance among the varied gifts. They should hope for the
spiritual gifts, especially prophecy. He cautions that the one with the gift of tongues
speaks to God, but not to other people, since nobody understands him when he talks in
the spirit about mysterious things (1 Cor. 14:2).
More positively, he continues that "the one who prophesies, does speak to others for
their up building and encouragement and consolation” (I Cor. 14:3). Paul’s concern is
for the unity and growth of the Christian community, and he sees on the one hand, that
the gift of prophecy - of encouraging and unifying speech - is more important and more
desirable than the gift of speaking in tongues.. According to Paul, down to earth
preaching and conversation are more important tools than the very special and specialized
gifts of the spirit, which may so easily be misused.
On the other hand, we cannot fail to mention a passage that Paul adds, reflecting
aspects of his culture, a passage that needs to be contextualized and interpreted, namely,
the admonition that "the women should keep silence in the churches" (1 Cor. 15:34).
The entire letter of James, noted for its concreteness, is worth reading and reflecting
on. It contains strong admonitions on the gift of speech, and the examination of the use
of the tongue. We are challenged to meditate prayerfully on the use of our gift of speech.
Regarding the tongue, he writes, "Be quick to hear, slow to speak" (James 1:19). "If
anyone thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue, but deceives his heart, this
man's religion is vain" (1:26). The tongue, he explains, is a fire, hard to tame, "a restless
evil, full of deadly poison" (3:8). He explores the ambiguity of the tongue: "with it, we
bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse men and women who are made in the
likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and curse" (James 3:9).
In the book of Revelation, Jesus is described as the one at the door, waiting to greet
and meet us. "If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with
him or her, and he or she with me" (Rev. 3:20).
The Second Vatican Council
The history of the church and the history of theology would give innumerable
examples of the dialogue, conversation of the saints. These would be found in their
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efforts at teaching, instructing, and counselling others, or simply at expressing their own
thoughts and convictions on the Christian way of life. We have mentioned St. Francis de
Sales and St. Benedict and the list would be endless.
Rather than include other figures from history, in the following chapter, I will
present ideas and insights from the life and writings of St. Ignatius of Loyola, as one key
example of the importance of conversation. Admitting that we are not showing this
development through Christian tradition, we will move on to the 20th century, to the
Second Vatican Council.
With the key document, the Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern
World, the Catholic Church commits herself to dialogue not only with other Christians
religions, with non-Christian forces, energies and movements of the modern world. This
conversation with the world today must be all inclusive, listening to "the joy and hope,
the grief and anxiety" of all, especially the poor and the afflicted (No. 1).
The church pledges to place herself in the midst of this complex, pluralistic world,
and not remain separatist, imperialist, or monastic, apart from its questions and concerns.
Dialogue, rather than distance or withdrawal, rather than simply proclamation, becomes
a way of life for the Church and the Christian.
The Dogmatic Constitution on the Church presents the church as the people of God,
emphasizing the dignity of all believers. The voice of the laity must be heard in the
ongoing conversation. Not only must the voice of the laity be heard in the Church, the
laity must be on mission, sharing the good news. The Decree on the Apostolate of the
Laity speaks explicitly not only of the mission and ministry of conversation but of the
need to form and prepare the laity for this important ministry:
When the apostolate is one of making the gospel known and men holy, the laity
must be specially formed to engage in conversation with others, believers or nonbelievers, in order to manifest Christ’s message to all men (No. 31).
The Decree on Ecumenism and the Declaration on the Relationship of the Church to
non-Christian Religions, point to dialogue, to ongoing conversation as key instruments in
the Church’s mission. The Church sees herself moving towards the model of
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conversation - the painstaking, communal search for truth, the willingness to share and
expose one's views in the pursuit of the fullness of truth.
Pope Paul VI
This spirit of dialogue called for in Vatican II received new impetus in the encyclical
letter of Paul VI, Ecclesiam Suam, issued in 1964, as the Council was underway. This
has been described by Pope John Paul II as the Magna Carta of dialogue. Although the
entire letter is worth reading and reflection, we will merely highlight a few points. Pope
Paul VI describes the overall relation of the Church to the world as one of dialogue.
Hence although the truth we have to proclaim is certain and the salvation
necessary, we dare not entertain any thoughts of external coercion. Instead we
will use the legitimate means of human friendliness, interior persuasion, and
ordinary conversation (No. 75).
He explains that engaging in dialogue is a proof of the Christian's esteem and
consideration for others. Each Christian should have the deep desire to talk about the
message which he or she has been given to communicate (Nos. 78-80). Much of the
encyclical is devoted to an explanation of the significance of dialogue for the Christian
apostolate, exploring its modes and motives. The characteristics of true dialogue,
according to the Pope, include: 1) Clarity - what is said must be intelligible; 2) Meekness
- as contrasted with arrogance, dialogue must be peaceful; 3) Confidence - in the
goodwill of both parties, with a mutual adherence to the good, and the exclusion of all
self-seeking; and finally 4) Prudence - an ability to adapt oneself, as good teacher, to the
circumstances of the listener (No. 81)..
Paul VI then images the world of dialogue as “a series of concentric circles around
the central point in which God has placed us” (No.96). The largest, immense circle is
that of the world including those who profess no religion. It is the world of science and
the world of political systems, the world of leaders and the masses. The second circle is
that of those who adore the God whom we too adore, for example the Jewish people and
the various great religious traditions of the East. The third circle, closer to us, is the
circle of Christianity, Orthodox and Protestant. Finally, we look to fellow Catholics.
Pope Paul describes this “family conversation” in a paragraph worth quoting:
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It is our ardent desire that this conversation with Our own children should be full of
faith, of charity, of good works, should be intimate and familiar. We would have
it responsive to all truth and virtue and to all the realities of our doctrinal and
spiritual inheritance. Sincere and sensitive in genuine spirituality, ever ready to
give ear to the manifold voice of the contemporary world, every more capable of
making Catholics truly good men, men wise, free, serene and strong; that is what
we earnestly desire our family conversation to be (No. 113).
Pope John Paul II
Before he became Pope, Karol Wojtya had written extensively on the meaning and
importance of dialogue. In his studies on phenomenology, he wrote about the works of
Max Scheler. He writes that “in a constructive communal life, the principle of dialogue
has to be adopted regardless of the obstacles and difficulties that it may bring with it
along the way.”xiv Dialogue strengthens human solidarity and promotes constructive
communal life. In his later book Sources of Renewal, echoing the thought of Pope Paul
VI, he explained to his diocese of Cracow the importance of dialogue within the Church
and with three great sectors of humanity that lie beyond the visible limits of the Church.xv
Throughout his long pontificate the cause and reality of dialogue has advanced
tremendously. The many Synods of bishops have addressed more local issues facing the
church, and the topic of dialogue features prominently in the discussions and letters
resulting from these synods.
In his encyclical on the Church’s missionary activity
Redemptoris Missio (1990) dialogue together with proclamation become key instruments
of the Church in carrying out her mission.
In his encyclical on ecumenism Ut unum sint (1995) Pope John Paul II stresses
dialogue accompanied by charity as an important means to building unity. One further
key document issued in his pontificate is entitled Dialogue and Proclamation, issued
jointly by the Pontifical Council for Interreligious Dialogue and the Congregation for the
Evangelization of Peoples. At length, this describes the forms of dialogue, and the
obstacles to dialogue. It clarifies the understanding and relationship between dialogue
and proclamation, seeing both of them as “difficult tasks, and yet absolutely necessary”
(80).
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Synod of Bishops, Special Assembly for Africa
A recent example of the emphasis of the Church on dialogue can be found in the
Synod of African Bishops, held in Rome in 1994. Under the overall umbrella of
evangelization, dialogue was one of the major topics of the synod.
In the preparatory document dialogue is seen as an important part of the Church's
program of action in today's world (No. 75). It is described as "a spirit which underlies
every form of Christian mission. It is a habit of mind, an attitude of respect and friendship
toward those who have a different point of view" (No. 78). Admitting the difficulties of
dialogue in this world of conflicting views and opinions, of other way, no better
alternative it the Church is to live and proclaim the good news of Jesus Christ. The
Church must be a church on mission, reaching out, sharing its good news, and dialogue
remains one key way to live this mission.
In his Apostolic Exhortation, Ecclesia in Africa, following the synod, Pope John Paul
stresses the importance of interreligious dialogue in Africa, among the major religious
traditions, especially with Islam, and also the dialogue with traditional religions (137).
Model of Church
With this emphasis on dialogue among Christians, dialogue with the world and with
other religious traditions, and dialogue within the Church, what image or model can best
describe the Christian Church as it moves to the year 2000? What characteristics should it
have? Avery Dulles, added a sixth, more inclusive model, to his earlier five models of
Church, namely the Church as a community of disciples. In this model, we are all
learners, from the Pope to the newly baptized, learning from the another, from our
tradition, from the Word of God, and from the world of God's making. This learning can
only occur, it seems to me, if there is a climate of ongoing conversation and openness,
and a deep trust in the Spirit of God at work. It is this Spirit that draws us together by
drawing us to the truth. By calling the Church a community of disciples, we emphasize
that it is a pilgrim church, humbly searching for the fullness of truth, and hence engaged
in serious conversation as one key way to that truth.
And yet the path is not always smooth. Witness the proposal initiated in 1996 by
Cardinal Bernardin and his collaborators to search for “common ground”. They called
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for greater dialogue and listening at all levels of the Catholic Church. It met with
decidedly mixed reactions. Some applauded the initiative, seeing it as most necessary,
especially in the USA. Others judged it to be unnecessary and possibly divisive. The
latter would argue in general that the Church is already in possession of the truth in
teachings on dogma and morals. Discussion and dialogue are not needed as much as
obedient listening. Yet here it seems helpful to recall the strong call for dialogue within
the Catholic Church set forth by Pope Paul VI as indicated earlier. xvi He situates this
important and indispensable conversation among Christian laity and leaders in the fourth
of the concentric circles, at the heart of the Church where the Catholic lives and moves
on mission.
Theological Foundations for Dialogue - the Mystery of the Triune God
The Christian God is one God in three Persons. Indeed, the mystery of the Trinity is
the highest and the most difficult mystery of faith. Whatever the intricacies of the Triune
life of God - the procession, notions, relationships. etc.- the doctrine does point to a
vibrant inner life of God, to loving relationships among the Father, Son, and Spirit. The
Triune God is a communion of three persons, with intercommunication or dialogue
among the persons.
Creation, redemption, and ongoing sanctification can be viewed as the overflow of
life, love and communication that originates in the inner life of the Trinity. Jesus Christ,
Son of God is the visible Word, the Word made flesh. He reveals to us, indeed he invites
us into the inner life, love, and conversation of God. Through the Word made flesh, God
speaks a word of love and salvation in human history.
Through grace, through baptism, we believe that we do not remain apart from, outside
the life of the Trinity, but enter into it. Put boldly, we become sons and daughters in the
Son sharing in the life of the eternal Word of the Father. Empowered by the Spirit as
Jesus was, we have the courage to call upon and converse with God as Our Father. The
truth we strive to express in our words, in our conversations, is ultimately the truth of the
God of Jesus Christ, the Word made Flesh, who is the way and the truth. His word of
truth takes life and gains expression through our words. In the life of grace, we enter into
the divine life of the Trinity.
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By baptism, according to Catholic traditional teaching, Christians share in the triple
office of Jesus Christ, as priest, prophet, and king-servant. Through the second of these
traditional offices, we share in the prophetic office of Jesus Christ. This means that God
reveals or speaks words to us that are addressed to no other. In turn, one of our tasks as
Christians is not only to listen to that Word addressed to us, but to speak, share, and
witness to that prophetic Word. In this way, through our word, including our
conversations, we carry forward in the tradition of the prophets and of Jesus Christ
prophet. The Church becomes a prophetic people.
Our life in relationship to the Triune God might be seen more clearly by reflecting on
the life of prayer. We pray, through the Son, in the Spirit, to the Father. As sons and
daughters patterned after and configured with the Son, as inspired by the Spirit poured
into our hearts, we enter into and share in the divine dialogue in the inner life of the
Triune God. But not only in our life of prayer. Our entire graced life, all our words and
conversations, if they are graced words of love and truth, have their origin in the
Trinitarian life of God, and enable us to enter into that divine conversation.
Spiritual Conversation, More Broadly Conceived
In the next chapter, we will explore various ways, places in Christian life and ministry
where conversation plays an important role. But before that, and as a stepping stone to
the consideration of conversation in Christian life and ministry, it seems proper and
helpful to reflect briefly on a traditional category of Christian spirituality, namely
spiritual conversation. The phrase "spiritual conversation" is used by saints such as
Ignatius and Francis de Sales. Spiritual direction, which takes place through spiritual
conversation is expected of all seminarian and religious, and more and more Christian
laity now seek spiritual direction.
But how does one define or give boundaries to "spiritual conversation"? Does it
mean more narrowly conversation about God, the Christian virtues, prayer, the lives of
the saints. Does it refer to conversation on the spiritual life in the traditional meaning of
spiritual? Or might it be expanded to include significant conversation about people,
places, events, about politics and economics, about recreation and family life? In light of
a contemporary theology of grace and incarnation, can we any longer make a sharp
distinction between the spiritual and the non-spiritual?
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I wish to argue that the word spiritual, as applied to spiritual reading, spiritual
direction, and spiritual conversation, must be conceived more broadly. I favor this
wider meaning in light of recent developments and emphases in Christian theology. Thus
spiritual reading might be not only a life of Jesus Christ or a saint, but might include a
careful reflective reading of the life of Churchill or Picasso.
Let me set forth several themes and threads of Catholic theology that argue against an
overly narrow or restricted view of "spiritual" when applied to spiritual conversation,
spiritual reading, or spiritual direction.
First, a principle of the Catholic tradition. Thomas Aquinas for example, states that
grace builds on nature rather than destroys or supplants it. While we can distinguish the
realm of grace from that of the human and natural, we dare not dichotomize or separate
the two orders. It is virtually impossible to make a sharp distinction and say that any one
particular experience is in the spiritual realm of grace, and another experience is in the
area of nature. As Karl Rahner emphasizes, in this concrete world of salvation history,
there are no purely natural acts, no neutral acts which do not affect our stance of salvation
before God. Our entire life and every part of it is part of our movement toward or away
from our end, God. Thus to engage seriously and deeply in what might seemed to be
purely natural, is to run headlong into the area of grace and to touch upon the realm of the
Spirit and the spiritual depth of our lives.
Secondly, Vatican II affirms that every human person is involved, consciously or
unconsciously, with the Pascal mystery (Church in the Modern World, No. 22). This is a
related way of speaking of the theory of the "anonymous Christian" as set forth by
Rahner. It affirms that grace, the grace of Jesus Christ, is present in the world and offered
to every person, Christian and non-Christian, believer and atheist, Eastern and Western.
While not maintaining that all accept this offer of grace (not even the Christian fully
accepts Jesus Christ), it means that grace makes a difference in all areas of reality, the
social, personal, political, moral, etc. Accordingly, the spiritual is a component of all
areas of human existence, and not only the concern of our explicit, conscious life before
God. Rahner expresses it powerfully, saying that we cannot dig deeply into any area of
reality without coming across the grace of God in Jesus Christ. This in fact, is the
deepest, the inmost reality of everything. Aptly entitled was a book about the thought of
Rahner, The World of Grace.
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Thirdly, there is a unity and inseparability between our love of God and love of
neighbor. These can never be seen as two separated spheres in our lives, even if they are
distinguishable. Rahner affirms in a provocative way, that we do not find God except in
and through the neighbor. God, the realm of the divine and the Holy Spirit, cannot be
neatly factored out, because the divine only becomes manifest in and through the world.
This is the vision of Jesus as presented in the parable of the last judgement in Matthew
25. “What you do to the least of the brethren, you do to me.” Might we not apply that to
conversation. Our conversation with the stranger, the person in need, the prisoner, the
bereaved, is also a conversation with Jesus Christ, with the divine. We begin to see here
the hidden depth, the deepest reality of all human speech. A word to another person is
also a word to God who identifies God's very self with the other, especially with the
person in need.
Catholic tradition with Thomas Aquinas emphasizes that we are spirit in the world,
not angelic spirits. It is through the senses that we find and move to God. The neighbor,
in this view, is the clearest sign or sacrament of God. Hence, by involvement with the
neighbor, and only through this involvement (in conversation, for example) can we move
toward the divine Spirit of love and truth.
Fourthly, several theologians, reflecting on the meaning of revelation, indicate that
God is present to us only in "mediated immediacy". Thus for example, Rahner, Lonergan
and the philosopher of religion, John Smith. The way of the human person to God is the
way of God speaking and revealing to us - in an through the world. We are present to
God and we experience his love, grace, and power in ways that are always mediated
through an experience of earthly reality. All reality, all events, persons, places, can be
mediators of God or revelations of God. There is no purely secular or profane sphere
where God does not reach or touch human lives. Even what seems to be so spiritual and
mystical - moments of special prayer and union with God - are always linked with human
words, concepts, and images that are grounded in the world of ordinary experience.
Fifthly, psychology and philosophy no longer permit a sharp distinction between
body and soul, or body and spirit. While the life of the mind (or spirit, in this sense) is not
equitable with or reducible to the life of the body, neither is it ever completely separate.
We are and remain, according to Christian philosophy and anthropology, spirit in the
world. We are inspirited body or incarnated spirit. There is no realm of the spirit which is
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completely separate from the corporeal or material. One indication of this is how we
see, with the great spiritual writers on prayer, the importance of the body in prayer.
In summary, to talk of the spiritual life or of spiritual conversation, as a realm
disconnected from the total life of the person in history, family, or society, is to talk of an
abstraction. This cannot be permitted in a Catholic understanding of grace and revelation.
Recalling what we said about the unity of love of God and of neighbor, we might state
this thesis rather boldly in the language of Scripture, with reference to the first Letter of
John. He writes: "If anyone says, ‘I love God’, and hates his brother, he is a liar. For he
who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen”
(1 Jn. 4:20). In terms of our topic of conversation (in which love should be involved)
might we not ask: "How can you say that you are really speaking to God in prayer, God
whom you do not see, if you do not speak and converse with the neighbor whom you can
and do see?” Stated positively, with the tradition of Ignatius Loyola, we are to find God
in all things. This means finding God especially in and through closest image and
likeness of God on earth, namely the human person. This necessarily involves personal
dialogue or conversation.
I am suggesting, therefore, that we consider eliminating, or at least using the word
"spiritual" more broadly, when applying it to spiritual reading, direction, or conversation.
While the word spiritual may once have had a positive and distinct meaning, now it all
too often creates a false impression that there can be a dichotomy or neat separation
between spiritual and non-spiritual aspects of reality and experience. I suggest that
spiritual should not be defined by its opposition to the material, corporeal, natural,
worldly, secular. All areas of human life touch the divine and ultimate, and in this sense,
are in the realm of the Spirit. Our entire life, with its sleeping and dreaming, eating and
working, in family and with friends, in the market place and the church, is either a
movement to God or away from God. In the words of Teilhard de Chardin, we live in, or
are enveloped by "the Divine Milieu". In this world view, a plumber cleaning drains may
be doing a work no less holy or significant than a person praying the Rosary.
We conclude this section with inspired words of wisdom of St. Paul, who echoes this
broad interpretation of the spiritual, this more inclusive way of describing the life of the
Christian:
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Finally, my brothers and sisters, your thoughts should be wholly directed to all
that is true, all that deserves respect, all that is honest, pure, admirable, decent,
virtuous, or worthy of praise (Phil. 4:8).
3. ST. IGNATIUS LOYOLA AND CONVERSATION
Our goal here is surely not a biography, or even an overview of the life of St.
Ignatius. We simply wish to refer to his life and writings for his emphasis and insight on
the importance of conversation for Christian life and ministry. Ignatius was the founder
of the Society of Jesus, now with more than 20,000 members throughout the world. So
important was communication for him in his personal and apostolic life and in his way of
governing, that he left more than 6000 letters, more than any other person of the 16th
century. He left to the Church his Spiritual Exercises, used more than any other manual
as a basis or guide for retreats for priests and religious, as well as lay persons. In this and
in the Constitutions of the Society of Jesus, we have a spirituality that is apostolic and yet
contemplative. In the phrase of one of his first followers, Ignatius was “contemplative
in action.” He then handed on this insight to his followers.
What he has written for Jesuit priests, brothers, and scholastics, has much wider
application today, in new contexts and cultures, based as it is upon a solid theology and
saintly apostolic Christian experience. For our reflection on conversation in the writings
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of Ignatius, we will examine four sources, four key ways into his life and vision: 1) his
Autobiography; 2) his letters; 3) the Spiritual Exercises and 4) the Constitutions of the
Society of Jesus.
Life and Autobiography
After undergoing profound, transformative experiences, Ignatius wrote and described
for others what he himself had experienced, accomplished, and found fruitful. Among his
insights was the conviction on the value of conversation in Christian ministry. He also
preached, but it is interesting to note that we do not have extant any of his sermons.
We find the topic of conversation frequently mentioned in his Autubiography, which
he dictated near the end of his life, at the request of several Jesuits. In this classic, he
gives us his interpretation of how God guided and led him in his own life up to 1538. He
would die in 1556. He explains how he was converted, and then, with a sense of
mission, gathered others to join him in the work of evangelization. Describing his own
life, he says that he frequently conversed familiarly with any person, whether a captain,
or an archbishop. He explains that he and his first followers "do not preach, but we do
speak familiarly with some people about the things of God; for example, after eating with
some people who may invite us" xvii (65) This
“speaking familiarly” or conversation
became the primary tool in his ministry of evangelization. In whatever circumstance he
found himself, he turned to conversation. For example, if he was ill or recovering in a
sick bed, he used the occasion to speak to others about God:
“Free of all cares, he continued his reading and his good resolve. During the
time he spent talking to the members of the household, he spoke about the things
of God and he thus brought much profit to their souls”(No. 11).
Later, when in a hospital: “In this hospital he began to speak of the things of God
with many people who came to visit him, and by His grace he gathered much fruit” (No.
88).
Ignatius was put into prison because of some of his theological views (and later
exonerated). Even in jail: “Many people came continually to visit them, and the pilgrim
(Ignatius) continued his exercises, speaking about God and the like” (68).
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Conversation becomes a common thread in the life and ministry of Ignatius,
conversation with anyone and everyone about the things of God. Yet, not everyone,
since Ignatius reflected the culture and Catholicism of his day. On his way to Rome, he
warned that "we must always be on our guard, and hold no conversations with women,
unless they be ladies of prominence" (97). This was because of the possibility of false
accusations.
Informality was a hallmark. Conversation was to be done in a very down to earth
manner. "It was his custom to speak to any person, no matter who it might be, using
"you" - piously holding that Christ and the apostles had spoken in this way" ( 52). Once
he recalls that he was tempted to speak more formally to a ship Captain, but he resisted
this seeing it as a temptation.
Through conversation, through sharing his own call and experience of God, and then
through the Spiritual Exercises , Ignatius won over his first companions, including St.
Francis Xavier. "During this period he was carrying on conversations with Master Peter
Faber, and Master Francis Xavier, both of whom he later won to God's service through
the Exercises" (82). Peter Favre, one of his first companions, later recalled the
importance of conversation with this group. "Conversation on material things swiftly
gave way to spiritual conversation;" and this led to sharing the same apartment, table, and
purse.xviii
Eventually a group of seven companions emerged in Paris, and they pronounced their
first vows at Montmarte, August 15, 1534. This was the first foundation of the Society of
Jesus. One of the early writers then describes what follows their profession of first vows:
The seven friends sat near a fountain and spent the day in joyful
conversation and
partook of an improvised meal together, prepared on the spot. And
as the sun set,
they returned to their homes, blessing and praising God.xix
Ignatius would on occasion be invited to dine with the Pope or with bishops, to
converse about church matters, or about life in the Spirit. Ignatius describes his
conversation with the Archbishop of Toledo: "He spoke to him in the same familiar
manner that he used with everyone" (63). And it was effective, for as Ignatius explains,
"the Archbishop listened attentively" and gave him financial support too!
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Thus we see from the Autobiography how conversation was important for Ignatius in
several ways. It was a key means of being an apostle, or evangelization. It was also
crucial in gaining new apostles such as Xavier, and finally it was significant in keeping
this new band of followers united as “friends in the Lord.”
Letters and Instructions
In 1546, Ignatius wrote instructions to three Jesuits assigned to and active as
theology consultants at the Council of Trent. The entire letter is worth consideration, but
a few excerpts must suffice, The very title of the letter is "Instruction on Conversing with
Others". He explains that the nature of our profession and ministry as Jesuits demands
that we associate with others. Concretely he writes to the three fathers:
"Be slow to speak, and only after having first listened quietly, so
that you may understand the meaning, leanings, and desires of
those who speak. You will thus know better when to speak and
when to be silent".xx
He explains that they should be open to positions on both sides of a question,
considering the reasons offered, without attachment to our own opinion. Whenever one
does speak, he should do so with the greatest possible calm and humility, and always end
with the words, "with due respect for a better opinion". Wise advice indeed, from
Ignatius! While written specifically for the Jesuits participating in the Council of Trent,
it certainly has much wider application to all contexts of conversation.
In addition to their participation at the Council, Ignatius advises the priests to carry
on some direct pastoral ministry. He advises that whenever discussing doctrines,
It would be better to be slow to speak and to speak little. But on the other hand, if you
wish to urge souls to make progress in the spiritual life, it will be better to speak
at length, methodically, and with kindness and affection.xxi
. Ignatius concludes the letter with the recommendation that the three priests "take an
hour at night in which each can share with the others what has been done that day and
discuss plans for the morrow". Certainly, how they engaged in conversation during the
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day was food for their further discussion or conversation in the evening. This
recommendation of Ignatius remains sound advise for rectories, religious houses, and
indeed in Christian family homes. We note again that the virtue of religious silence
seems to be placed second to serious dialogue and sharing with those we live and
minister with.
In an instruction on the duties of a collateral - an assistant ( in this case, da Camara,
sent to assist the Portuguese Provincial in October 1555) Ignatius explains how one
should deal with various types of persons:
a) with kings, prince, and persons of influence, "your starting point would seem to be
conversation: God our Lord will teach you with whom and by what means you should
proceed further ....."xxii
b) with ordinary people: "Generally speaking, the way you will be able to help people
(apart from your prayers and masses and the example of your life) will be through
conversation and the administration of the sacraments, especially confession, and by
giving the Spiritual Exercises to some".
c) with Jesuits: one must work towards union among the members, and here
"conversation would seem to be a helpful means, as well as other means which your
reverence will better be able to employ than I to write". He explains that one should
converse familiarly with the individual men, trying to get to know them all, and at the
same time, learning much from them. Note again the importance of conversation not
only in our apostolic endeavors, but also in forming and building Jesuit community
life.xxiii
In a lengthy instruction to Fr. Jean Pelletier, in 1551, "On Ministering to the
Neighbor,” conversation is mentioned a number of times. He sets forth many ways in
which Jesuits are ministers of the word, through preaching, teaching catechism, giving
the Exercises and through spiritual conversation. “You will also have to make an effort
to win over individuals and benefactors, and talk with them about spiritual things". xxiv He
emphasizes also for our scholastics in formation constant practice in debating and in
discussions, and a daily exercise in preaching.
In another letter to a Jesuit Father Baroello, Ignatius writes:
Keep your conversation as a mean between what is too little and too much. Out of
respect for people of prominence be sure to say what is proper and likely to edify.
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Above all, try not to say anything that would manifest ignorance or vulgarity, but
speak out calmly what the Lord inspires you to say, and what will be fitting for the
persons
you
are talking to, and the things you are talking about 'towards
edification. xxv
In another letter, with a characteristic note of realism (and perhaps also of humor)
Ignatius realizes that often we become involved in conversations that are leading
nowhere. He gives the advice that in such situations, to "free oneself from whom there is
no hope of helping, one should talk pointedly of hell, judgement, and such things."xxvi
Writing to his eventual successor Lainez, Ignatius defends the study of the classics
by Jesuits in training.
This learning seems to be especially necessary in our Society, both for dealing with
men who speak different language, either in conversation or by letter, and to give
satisfaction both in preaching and in conversation to ordinary people who are more
capable of appreciating human learning".xxvii
Important for Ignatian spirituality is the discernment of spirits. In a letter to Teresa
Rejadell on the discernment of spirits, Ignatius describes the work of the evil spirit as one
who speaks, holds conversation with the person. The evil spirit or enemy is imagined as a
bad companion who deceives and misleads through words and inspirations. Ignatius sees
that we should learn from this technique or strategy of the devil, namely the use of
conversation in our own efforts at guiding others to discern between the voice of the good
and evil spirits.xxviii
In another instruction, written in 1552 to those send on mission, Ignatius explicitly
regards conversation as one of the instruments we must use in winning over the neighbor
to God. Ignatius had been a soldier and he employs a military image. He refers to
various instruments, including conversation, as weapons, and “we should select those
weapons which will be judged to be more effective and with which we are better
acquainted.”xxix
Finally, Ignatius sent another set of rules to the Jesuit Community at Alcala, rules
which were read out regularly. There were 12 numbers or 12 rules. The first five treat
explicitly of the way of conversing with others, and we quote them in full:xxx
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1. We should be careful to preserve great purity of heart in the love of God, loving
nothing but Him, and desiring to converse with Him alone, and with the neighbor for love
of Him, and not for our own entertainment and delight.
2. We should speak only with necessity, and for the edification of ourselves or others,
and avoid those things which offer no profit to the soul, such as the desire for news and
worldly affairs. We should try always to treat of matters connected with humility and
mortification of the will, and not of things that give occasion for laughter or criticism.
3. Let no one seek to be considered a wit, or to affect elegance or cleverness or
eloquence, but look upon Christ, who made nothing at all of these things and chose to be
humbled and despised by men for our sake rather than to be honored and respected.
4. We should not wish to see or do anything which could not be done in the presence
of God and His creatures, and we shall thus imagine that we are always in His presence.
5. We should not dispute stubbornly with anyone. Rather we should patiently give our
reasons with the purpose of declaring the truth lest our neighbor remain in error, and not
that we should have the upper hand.
The Spiritual Exercises
Held in high esteem by the church over the centuries, the Spiritual Exercises of St.
Ignatius form the basis for many retreats and days of recollection and for an apostolic
spirituality in general. These Exercises were originally written not for Jesuits or
religious, but for lay men and women. In recent years, there has been a revival of the
individually directed retreat in distinction from the retreat preached to a large group. This
move back to the directed retreat is in fact a return to the practice of Ignatius and the first
Jesuits. It also calls for skill in the art of conversation, since there is daily lengthy
conversation between the director and the retreatant.
Indeed, the Spiritual Exercises might be viewed as a series of conversations,
between the director and the retreatant, between the director and the text of the Exercises,
between the retreatant and God. An expert in Ignatian spirituality thus writes:
“To give the Exercises is nothing else but to replace a spontaneous conversation
open to random inspirations of the spirit with a planned conversation which
follows a pattern more or less determined in advance.”xxxi
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The entire technique of the Exercises flows from the guided conversation among
these four realities - the director, the text, the retreatant (and his world) and God. Several
key aspects of the Exercises can be highlighted. As a presupposition to making the
Exercises, Ignatius states a rule applicable to all genuine conversation.
It is necessary to suppose that every good Christian is more ready to put a good
interpretation on another's statement than to condemn it as false (No. 22).
He then explains that we must be sure that we understand another's statement
correctly, and we should correct another with kindness, if correction is called for.
in this book we will expand on the significance of this for ordinary conversation.
Later
In the introductory comments or annotations on the Exercises, Ignatius sets forth one
of the basic principles of his spirituality. He writes:
It is more suitable and much better that the Creator and Lord in person
communicate Himself to the devout soul in quest of the divine will... The
director of the Exercises should permit the Creator to deal directly with the
creature, and the creature directly with his Creator and Lord (No. 15).
This mutual personal communication or conversation between the retreatant and God
is at the center of the Spiritual Exercises. The Holy Spirit in this sense is the true retreat
director, and the one giving the retreat aims to facilitate that prayerful conversation
between the Spirit and the retreatant.
In the first week of the Exercises, involving several meditations on sin, we are to
examine our thoughts, our words, and our deeds. The section on sins of the tongue is the
longest (Nos. 38-41). It includes the strong advice that "no idle words should be uttered"
(No. 40).
We are to review our “associations” (in Spanish, the word is conuersacion)
which I have had with others (No. 56).
The aim and purpose of most Ignatius' contemplations and meditations is to lead the
retreatant to colloquy, or personal prayer and conversation with God. For example, we
are to “imagine Christ our Lord present before you on the cross, and begin to speak with
him, asking how it is that He has stooped to become human..”.(No. 53). He explains
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more fully in the next “Note on colloquies” that this colloquy is modelled upon
conversation among humans: "The colloquy is made by speaking exactly as one friend
speaks to another, or as a servant speaks to a master", requesting, explaining, seeking
advice, etc. (No. 54). Ignatius here echoes what we said earlier about the close
relationship between our ability to relate in conversation to our neighbor and our ability
to relate to God in prayer.
In a famous meditation on hell (No. 65-71) we are to “enter into conversation with
Christ our Lord” (No. 71). We use our memory to recall those who may be in hell, and
then express our gratitude to God our Lord that we are not there.
At several key points in the Exercises, for example, No. 147, Ignatius suggests the
famous triple colloquy, or three fold conversation, where the retreatant first prays to the
Blessed Lady, then asks the same favors from her Son Jesus Christ , and thirdly turns in
prayerful conversation to God the Father. In a number of contemplations on the life of
Jesus, the retreatant is to imagine him or herself actually present at the gospel event, and
listening on the conversation of Joseph and Mary (No. 115), the Divine Persons (No.
107), and Jesus and his disciples (No. 194). In the fourth week of the Exercises, we are
directed to note specifically how the Lord Jesus, the Word made Flesh, and now Risen
Lord, is present as consoler, and we are to compare his Easter appearances with the way
friends are wont to console each other (No. 224). Through these Ignatian reflections on
the life and example of Jesus we are encouraged in turn to take up the ministry of
consoling others in difficulty through the art of conversation.
The Exercises conclude with the "Contemplation to Attain the Love of God". We note
again the Ignatian vision. whereby all reality, especially the reality of human persons
made in the image of God, becomes a vehicle for the love of God to us, and the way for
us to respond to and share this divine love with one another. This certainly echoes and
grounds our earlier reflections on the more expansive view of the spiritual, when applied
to conversation. All, reality, all conversations can and should be means that lead us to
God. We find God in all things, and hence in all conversations too.
In sum, Ignatius conceived and wrote his Spiritual Exercises as a key instrument to
win souls for God. The key instrument that makes them effective is conversation - the
varied levels and partners in the conversation as we indicated above. Through history and
today again, the Church has blessed and endorsed the Exercises as a treasure to be shared
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widely. The key to their success is not solely in the written text which Ignatius wrote,
but in the ability of the retreat director, through guided conversations, to enable the
retreatant to enter into a series of conversations with the director, and more importantly
with God.
The Constitutions
This document of several hundred pages, is the key foundational document of the
Society of Jesus, written by Ignatius or under the direction over a period of three intense
years (1548-51), and then revised over a period of more than ten tears. In contrast with
the Spiritual Exercises which are written and intended for lay and religious, the
Constitutions are specifically for Jesuits, setting forth our way of proceeding.
The Constitutions arose from the "First Deliberations" of the early Jesuits - the small
group of men gathered around Ignatius, discussing their future, how they could best serve
the Church. In their deliberations, their method consisted essentially of conversations.
They focussed on key questions, reflected prayerfully on them during the day and during
their active apostolic work day. Then they gathered at night and shared their reflections
on these key questions, agreeing upon what seemed more appropriate.
Most noteworthy is the fact that Ignatius, in setting forth an apostolic way of life in
the Constitutions speaks much more frequently of conversation than he does of religious
silence. He emphasizes that Jesuit ideals, goals, life-style and ministries call for persons
who can both learn and contribute through the lively art of conversation. Silence is not an
end in itself, but functions to facilitate prayerful conversation with God, and prepares one
to more fruitful dialogue with one's brothers and sisters.
Ignatius first writes a "General Examen"xxxii which might be viewed as a guide to
interviewing candidates for the Society. He
insists upon a personal face to face
interview with the candidate, consisting of back and forth conversation, questioning,
examining him in a number of key areas (No. 142).
In this interview, one of the
prerequisites for being a Jesuit will be examined, namely the candidates ability in
conversation. According to Ignatius, “In regard to the exterior, a pleasant manner of
speech, so necessary for communications with one’s fellow men, is desirable (No. 157).
The candidate should be questioned to discover how he stands "in regard to good reading
and good conversations" (No. 46).
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In his advice for those accepted into the Society in the process of formation, Ignatius
wishes them to take special care to guard their senses from disorder, to preserve
themselves in peace and true humility of their souls, “and to show this by their silence
when it should be kept and, when they must speak, by the discretion and edification of
their words...”(No 250). He links this specifically with the goal or vision of finding God
in all things - a key Ignatian emphasis. We are to recognize and find God in the
neighbor with whom we are in conversation. (No. 250).
Part VII of the Constitutions treats of mission, how the members are to be sent on
missions from the Pope or the Superior General. It becomes apparent that a key
instrument in carrying out their mission is the ability to converse. Ignatius repeats three
times that those sent on important missions should "excel in discretion and grace of
conversation" (No. 624). For example: “To go to astute persons who hold positions of
spiritual or temporal government, those members seem most suitable who excel in
discretion and grace of conversation” (No. 624). Ignatius specifically mentions two
means of the apostolate, namely lectures and conversation. In another number, in
imitation of the way Jesus sent forth the disciples in pairs, Ignatius speaks of sending one
Jesuit who is good at preaching and lecturing with another who “could assist him by
conversations and the other means used in dealing with our neighbors.” (624). Indeed he
seems to put conversation in a very prominent place in carrying out our mission.
In the 9th part of the Constitutions, on the head or Superior General of the Society,
Ignatius sets forth six qualities needed in the leader. These are needed in his relationship
to God, to the neighbor, and to himself. In relationship to the neighbor, Ignatius
mentions great intelligence and judgment, and adds: “He also needs discretion in exterior
matters and a manner of handling such diverse affairs as well as of conversing with such
various persons from within and without the Society” (729).
The one appointed to be the secretary to Fr. General should, in addition to other
virtues and skills mentioned, be “one has a pleasant personality and a good manner of
dealing with all kinds of persons by word of mouth and by letters” (802).
Thus both those. sent on important missions and those in positions of government
should excel in discretion, and he adds, in a rich expression, be endowed with "grace of
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conversation". To emphasize the importance of conversation in the mind of Ignatius, we
see what he says about those Jesuits who become ill. Even in their sick bed, the
ministry of conversation should continue. We recall that in his Autobiography Ignatius
himself so acted. Thus here he writes:
The one who is sick should, by showing his great humility and patience, try to give no
less edification in time of illness to those who visit him and converse and deal with
him that he does in time of full health, for the greater glory of God (No. 89).
Rather than excel in the virtue of patient silence or passivity, the sick, in the mind of
Ignatius, carry forth the apostolate by edifying conversation with those who care for
them and visit them!
Finally, writing on the preservation and development of the Society of Jesus in the
last and very important part of the Constitutions, Part X, Ignatius explains that we should
use all natural means, human and acquired, in our apostolic activity "especially wellgrounded and solid learning, and a method of proposing it to the people by means of
sermons, lectures, and the art of dealing and conversing with men" (814).
Additional Input
Examination of Conscience and Account of Conscience
Both the Constitutions (written especially for Jesuits) and the Spiritual Exercises (for
all serious Christians) prescribe the daily examination of conscience. Important in this
examination is our use of the tongue, our speech and conversation. As we look back and
review our day, we should reflect on the quality of our conversation. Have I used this gift
of speech for the greater glory of God and the edification of my neighbor? What
contribution have I made through speech? The last part of the examination is the time for
looking to the future with new resolve. This might well include imagining, foreseeing
opportunities for conversations and meetings, and then lead to prayerful reflection and
petition for the guidance of the Spirit to help us in these upcoming situations.
Specific to governance in the Society of Jesus is the account of conscience.xxxiii In
this exercise, through conversation, the member completely opens his soul, his weak and
strong points, his dreams and failures to his major superior. Only in the light of this
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crucial annual conversation can the superior properly assign the member to a particular
mission, based upon his in-depth knowledge of that individual.
Rules of Modesty
Ignatius left very little to chance in his desire to form an effective apostolic body in
the Society. One example of this attention to details is the time and energy he put into
writing what have become known as the Rules of Modesty.xxxiv They were composed
during the last two years of his life, and written especially for those in formation. While
they may seem strange and somewhat strained to us, they can be viewed more positively
as a manifestation of Ignatius’ awareness of the importance of non-verbal
communication, the importance of body-language in the life and ministry of the Jesuit.
He stresses our exterior bearing, face, countenance, manner of walking, eyes, manner of
looking at others, lips, hands, and pace. Two examples will suffice:
11. In a word, every gesture and movement is to be such as will make a good
impression on all.
13. When they have occasion to speak, they should be mindful of moderation and
good example both in what they say and the manner and tone in which they say it.
Ignatius expected Jesuits in formation, as well as formed Jesuits to reflect carefully on
their overall bearing, realizing how important this was in carrying on the ministry of
conversation.
Reviewing this section on St. Ignatius, we cannot but be amazed at the importance
and the explicit attention he gives to the topic of conversation. It touches three
significant relationships in the life and ministry of the Jesuit: first, in our relationship
with God, who we meet as friend to friend in conversation; secondly, in our relation to
our superior and also to fellow Jesuits in the Society; and thirdly, in our apostolic
mission. The personal relationship with God is the foundation for the others. Then there
is the daily living out of that relationship in our community life, and the sharing of that
relationship of love with those we are sent to minister to. In all of this, the Spirit is the
teacher and guide, the Spirit to whom we have direct access, direct personal
communication in the theology of Ignatius. In all of this, we imitate Jesus Christ not
only in his good deeds, but in the manner of his conversation. Jesus went about doing
good, and went about sharing the good news with those he met.
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Ignatius and the Early Jesuits
Dario Restrepo, in his research on spiritual conversation maintains that “the ministry
of the word was the mold on which the Society was forged, and on the basis of this
apostolic goal we always find ‘spiritual conversation’ as its ‘principle and
foundation’.”xxxv
John O'Malley describes the early ministry of the Jesuits as a
commitment to the ministry of the word. In his book The First Jesuits he highlights how
important conversation was in the life, growth, and ministry of these early followers of
Ignatius. xxxvi In all of this, as O’Malley demonstrates, they were following the example
of St. Ignatius himself from the time of his conversion to his own use of the art of
conversation in winning souls back to the Church.
The first followers of Ignatius took most seriously and literally, the gospel imperative
to be "fishers of men"(Mk. 1:17).. They went about talking and conversing with the
neighbor about the things of God. They explicitly used the word "fishing" to describe
this way of being apostolic men in service to the Church. The conversation on these
fishing expeditions was not aimless; rather it would often lead to the sacraments of
penance and then Holy Communion, the two sacraments especially fostered and
celebrated by the early Jesuits.
Jerome Nadal
Nadal was a confident of Ignatius, and was in fact entrusted by him to promulgate the
Jesuit Constitutions. O’Malley explains that with Jerome Nadal, conversation began to
be seen and elevated to the technical status of a ministry. He saw conversation as key to
the very origins of the Society, and in this he sets forth Ignatius himself as the model
and mentor. Nadal went so far as to compose a list of SUBJECT OF WHICH OURS
MAY TALK IN TIME OF RECREATION and a list of THINGS TO BE AVOIDED
DURING RECREATION.xxxvii
Until perhaps 30 years ago, this was read to most
Jesuits twice each year. His list of subjects ends by recommending that Jesuits may
talk: “Finally, of such things as may edify and unbend the mind - have little of
speculation and much of affection - are religiously agreeable and agreeably religious.”
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One exhortation of Nadal treats explicitly, comprehensively, and at great length of
the ministry of conversation. His subject is the ministry of the word, and he explains the
importance of sermons and lectures. Then he continues with other means:
The first aspect is private spiritual conversation, which is an excellent method of
helping our neighbor. Ignatius used to say that this ministry teaches us important
things. What preachers and lecturers proclaim from on high, we ought to try to
suggest quietly to individuals. And in this latter ministry there is a greater liberty
and effectiveness because one can fit the words to the disposition and reaction of
the individual. And if we are men dedicated to Christ we will not fail to win souls
with this method, by his grace. xxxviii
Nadal then recalls that it was through conversation that Ignatius recruited his nine
first companions. He explains that this ministry of conversation may even require more
skill than preaching. Nadal explains that according to Ignatius, it requires first of all that
we love the person we want to aid, and that we find something in that person to love. It
also requires that we “find out everything possible about the person, his present and past
station in life, his intelligence, his physical makeup, his temperament, his past and
present deeds.” We should be willing to speak on secular topics, but then look for the
occasion to give the conversation a religious turn. “Father Ignatius used to speak of this
method as ‘entering by their door so as to come out by our door’.”
Nadal then goes further and indicates that not only should we Jesuits employ this art
of conversation, but that “we should exercise this ministry not only directly, but
indirectly; that is, we should urge our penitents and the friends with whom we dialogue to
learn the art of spiritual conversation themselves, so that they may help members of their
families and household, their friends and relatives. Women can thus aid other women.”
Nadal here gives us an early example of the so called “multiplier effect!” But then alas,
in accord with the fears and restraints of his times and culture, Nadal adds “we should not
urge this ministry for men and women together unless they be marriage partners so as to
avoid the least hint of scandal.”xxxix
Finally, Nadal says that “this ministry can also be practiced communally, as a kind of
mixture of the sermon and spiritual conference on the one hand, and of an individual
spiritual dialogue on the other.” He then describes - almost as if it were written in the
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20th century - a prayer meeting, which consists of readings, sharings, group discussion,
and the singing of hymns.
Pedro Ribadeneira
Pedro was one of the earliest Jesuits. He lived and worked with St. Ignatius, and
later wrote a biography of the saint. He describes the careful strategy of Ignatius in
entering into dialogue with others, some of whom may not be the most Christian or most
honorable. This is how he described the technique of Ignatius:
It is necessary to show confidence in the people with whom we treat, tell them
our business (more or less, according to their capacity and to the degree of
friendship existing between them and us), to ask their advice and follow it when it
is good. To condescend to all this is not contrary to God. We should close the
eyes to certain things in the beginning, enter by their door and make them come
out by ours; in short, make ourselves all to all, like the apostle, to gain all hearts to
Christ. xl
Even more concrete and slightly cunning or Jesuitical, from his experience of
conversation, he gives one saying of Ignatius as follows: "morning is the best time
to speak to worldlings of spiritual things and their progress in virtue. Evening is
the most propitious to ask a favor or treat of temporal affairs.xli
Finally, in his "Principles of Government of St. Ignatius,” Ribadeneira
describes the importance of Jesuits conversing with one another, and he bases this
upon the words of Ignatius himself
The hour’s recreation which in the Society follows dinner and super was not
ordained solely to spare us the fatigue and danger of immediate application to
prayer or study, but also to give the fathers and brothers an opportunity of
conversing with one another, and consequently knowing and love one another
more. This was told to me by our Father (Ignatius) one day when I had told him
that the superiors of the Roman College thought of retrenching the evening
recreation during Lent, an innovation to which he would never consent.xlii
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Blessed Peter Favre
One of the very first companions, the first priest of the Society of Jesus, was Blessed
Peter Favre, noted for his gentle spirit. He continued the tradition of graced conversation.
In his writing, advises the priest to be gentle, patient in the confessional, rather than
harsh, in order that the penitent is eager to return.xliii
In the age of the Reformation, when religious animosity was rampant, Peter Favre
recommended that with Protestants, we proceed by "speaking familiarly with them about
matters we both share in common and avoiding any debate in which one side tries to put
down the other. We must establish communion in what unites us before doing so in what
might evince differences of opinion."xliv
Nadal, who came to know Favre well, writes of him that he had a special talent in the
ministry of spiritual conversation:
He had an extraordinary charm in spiritual conversation, for Pierre Favre never met
a man, no matter how far gone, who was not totally changed by dealing with him.
Father Ignatius used to say that Pierre could draw water from a rock.”xlv
One other early Jesuit, Paschase Broet, noted this graced quality of conversation
present in Peter Favre and wrote of him: "By his example and his slow pleasant speech he
kindled in them all a vehement love of God."xlvi
St. Peter Canisius
In response to a request, Peter Canisius wrote a lengthy letter to Fr. General Aquaviva
commending devout conversation. In that letter he eulogized Peter Favre as a model of
this practice. Canisius had known and experienced the conversational and counseling
skills of Peter Favre. He himself had become a Jesuit after making the Spiritual Exercises
under Peter Favre. He writes of Favre:
Every word of his, be it in private conversation or in friendly greeting, or even
while at table, is filled with God, and he never becomes wearisome or irksome to
his listener, so eloquent is he.xlvii
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Peter Canisius went on to be an administrator, preacher, writer, and saint.
Especially because of the catechisms he composed and published, he is now a Doctor of
the Church.
In that long letter to Father General, in which he praises Favre, Canisius developed
his thought on how Jesuits can be most effective in dealing with the neighbor, not only
among Catholics, but also in heretical regions, especially in Germany. From that letter
we excerpt here references to the art of conversation.
Canisius recalls the imagery of St. Ignatius and the first companions, that they were to
be “fishers of men”, and that they made themselves “masters of the art of dealing with
men and commended this same splendid and practical art as the thing most characteristic
of our society.”xlviii He then develops his theme of how conversation is a key means of
helping other, and of making ourselves instruments closely joined to God (“instrumentum
conjunctum cum Deo” in a hallowed phrase). Canisius praises St. Ignatius for his skill in
conversation. He recalls and praises his Rules for Modesty and adds:
in all this, our father (Ignatius) was not only an able master, but also a remarkable
model in his own behaviour. Everyone knows how he always heard the other man out
without interrupting him, how he never spoke of the faults of others in his daily
conversations even when those faults where known to all...xlix
In describing the virtues needed in conversation,
Canisius explains that in
conversation we need the simplicity of a dove, and yet also the prudence of a serpent.
He sets forth Peter Favre as a model of this effective conversation:
God gave him the gift of bringing forth from the treasure of his heart good
things in all his dealings with men, whether during meals, in inns, or even in the
courts of princes. He had a way of speaking of spiritual things which held his
hearers’ attention, even people of the world.l
He then quotes from Faber himself, saying that he left behind “a trail of godly
conversations through whatever part of the world we happen to pass.”
On the other
hand, Canisius realizes that not all Jesuits have the talent, skill, or grace of Ignatius or
Favre in this ministry of conversation. He examines reasons for this, saying that it may
be due:
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to a kind of bashful pride, or human respect. Others almost never feel free to discuss
spiritual things even with their close friends, either because they have never learned
to do so or because of spiritual boredom. They can hardly get out three words of
godly conversation...li
Then he adds with a note of frustration and a bit of rhetorical flourish: “Really how
sad and pitiful is the condition of those who, having been called to be fishers of men, find
themselves to be instead cold fish!”lii
He adds advice to those who are negligent or weak in the ministry of conversation.
If someone has the desire to excel in this apostolate, but lacks the gift of dealing
with others, which is so helpful to souls and so rightly esteemed in a Jesuit, he
should try to learn from others and to imitate their manner and even their words,
so that when the occasion presents itself he will be able to be of spiritual aid to his
partner in conversation.liii
Finally, he mentions that to be skilled in conversation, knowledge of texts in
Scripture, in secular biographies, and in spiritual writings will help.
Sound advice
indeed, and practical advice from an expert and a saint! From this letter of Canisius, we
see again, very clearly, how important the first Jesuits considered the art and grace of
conversation.
Indeed, we might well say with Dario Restrepo, that for Ignatius and
these early Jesuits, conversation IS our way of proceeding.liv
The Jesuit Tradition
For over 400 years, in many cultures throughout the world, Jesuits have carried on
this ministry of the word. This has meant the written word, but it also means the spoken
word, whether in preaching, teaching, or in more ordinary conversation as found in
retreat work and in parish counselling situations.
Through the Jesuit colleges and universities, we have carried on dialogue with the
natural and social sciences. Jesuit drama and theater, often stemmed from our schools.
Jesuit fascination with the word has led them not only to learn new languages in their
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missionary contexts, but to write grammars, often the first ever written, of numerous
languages. Jesuits today are engaged at various levels in dialogue with non-Catholic
Christian leaders, as well as with other religious traditions.
Known for their intense and long intellectual training, Jesuits do move into a variety
of fields of endeavor. Such diversity makes for interesting communities and interesting
conversations. St. Teresa of Avila with some insight once gave this advice to one of her
sisters, who was to meet a Jesuit. The sister asked for advice from Teresa on how she
should comport herself with the Jesuit priest. Theresa directed the sister as follows: You
should make every effort to welcome him. We need their support if our reforms are ever
going to be approved by Rome. Make up to ask him, as that is what they like.” Indeed, a
clever strategy and a high compliment! Questions are key to the success of good
conversations.
St. Robert Southwell
Jesuit martyr of the English Reformation, was a master of words. His poetry is often
included in collections of English poetry. In a book entitled "Spiritual Exercises and
Devotions, he also wrote about "Rules for Intercourse with Others."lv He explains that
we should consider ourselves as inferior to all. We should keep a guard upon our words,
and never cease to give another reverence, and never give the slightest sign that we
consider ourselves equal to another, much less superior. Clearly, in his view, one aim of
conversation is to put oneself in a position where we can learn from others through this
attitude of humility.
In a section on "Conversation with others", he explains what to do if you caught in a
less than satisfactory conversation. Even if you would "more gladly speak with another,
take the greatest care not to turn your eyes in the direction of that other. Talk to your
companion, whoever he may be, as to Christ, and do violence to your own inclination....".
The theme of talking as to Christ echoes the theme of Ignatian spirituality, of finding and
serving God, indeed Christ, in all things, including our neighbor in conversation.
General Congregations
Two recent General Congregations of the Jesuits, Congregations 31 and 32 continue
this emphasis on the outgoing, apostolic nature of Jesuit mission. They challenge Jesuits
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to enter into a variety of dialogues, with atheism, with other Christians, with other
religious traditions. While the word “conversation” is replaced by the word “dialogue”
(as is also true of papal and conciliar documents) the reality called for is very much in
accord with the originating spirit and call of Ignatius that Jesuits excel in the art and
grace of conversation.
General Congregations 32, for example, directs that "formation must make our men
capable of dialogue with others, capable of confronting the cultural problems of the day”
(No. 138). CG 34, devotes an entire decree (No. 5) to "Our Mission and Inter religious
Dialogue". The new Norms for the Society of Jesus, approved at the 34th General
Congregation, emphasize the importance of dialogue by speaking of a culture of
dialogue. “The culture of dialogue should become a distinctive characteristic of our
Society, sent into the whole world to labor for the greater glory of God and the help of
human persons” (266). This culture of dialogue, it continues, should take place at four
levels or with four dimensions: the dialogue of life (living and sharing together); the
dialogue of action (collaborating for development): the dialogue of theological exchange
(specialists listening and learning from other traditions) and the dialogue of religious
experience (sharing for example in prayer).
The new Norms see dialogue and conversation as important not only in the
apostolate, but also in our formation and growth in community life. It notes that we must
be educated for dialogue: “attention should be paid to education for dialogue among
themselves and with superiors, for cooperation and obedience, and for fraternal
correction...”(77). In a fast moving society and culture, it seems more important than
ever for the union of minds and hearts that community members meet, converse, relax,
and pray together. Spiritual conversation, and conversation more broadly conceived are
key ingredients in maintaining and growing in the union of minds and hearts.
That same congregation 34 also promulgated decree 14 "Jesuits and the Situation of
Women in Church and Civil Society.” In a section on the way forward, it begins as
follows:
In the first place, we invite all Jesuits to listen carefully and courageously to the
experience of women. Many women feel that men simply do not listen to them. There
is no substitute for such listening (372).
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This ability and skill at listening, is of course, indispensable in true conversation.
We will return later to these and other new important partners in the ongoing
conversation.
It is interesting to note that if a General Congregation is to elect a new Superior
General, there is a three day time period allotted to the members of the Congregation for
what is called murmuratio, or conversation among members "to commend themselves to
God and make better investigations as to who from the whole Society could be most
suitable for that office." lvi In actual practice this would seem to be somewhat similar to
what I have referred to as "huddling" in business circles.
A Jesuit Charism
From my own experience, I have come to see that in examining applicants for
religious life in the Society of Jesus, one key criterion that I employ is very simple. Is the
person an interesting young man, one who would be interesting to live and work with?
Am I at ease with him in ordinary conversation that ranges from the daily news events, to
religious topics, from sports, to family and culture? Is he a person who can enter, or who
shows potential to enter into the conversation of Jesuit community life? If so, then I
myself have hope that he will not only be a good Jesuit in community, but also in the
varied ministries that we undertake.
Ignatian spirituality returns frequently to the words of St. Ignatius, found near the
end of the Spiritual Exercises. We are to pray for the grace to have the gift and ability
to love and serve the divine majesty in all things. This broad vision characterizes Jesuit
spirituality. “All things” means not only Scripture and liturgy, not only moments of
prayer and sacrament, but our entire created life, personal life, daily life. And a key
moment of our daily life with friends is conversation, being with, listening, sharing, and
speaking with others.
Surely, this one key area where, as we have seen, Ignatius wishes Jesuits to excel.
Our ongoing, daily conversations are not profane or secular, not just to pass the time, but
are an integral part of our apostolic lives, and of our life in common. In this way they
become foundational and integral to our movement towards and daily encounter with
God.
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This emphasis upon conversation is based upon a reverential respect for the
uniqueness of each person. Each is different and unique because of culture, heritage, and
family background. Jesuit emphasis upon cura personalis means that in the classroom, in
the counselling center, in the parish hall, or in the market place, we strive to deep and
patient conversation with those we encounter, those who come to us for instruction.
There we are challenged, uplifted, enriched, and satisfied. Grateful for these
opportunities for good conversation with strangers and friends. we grow closer to God
, indeed we daily experience the mystery and love of God.
Jesuits, in light of their vocation to go and move anywhere for the salvation of souls,
must be intelligent, adaptable, and I add, interesting persons, if they are to be effective
ministers. Front line ministries call forth an ability to enter into new situations and new
conversations, based upon our Jesuit and Christian tradition, into which we have been
immersed.
Jesuit Education
Much conversation among Jesuits, and in Jesuit ministry, finds its setting in
secondary schools, colleges and universities. Jesuits run universities such as the
Gregorian, the Biblical Institute, and twenty nine universities in the USA alone. The
university is a place of discussion and conversation among faculties within the
theological field (as at the Gregorian) and beyond the theological to all areas of human
interest, as in the colleges and universities in the USA. In reflections on Jesuit education,
Kenneth Woodward, a Jesuit alumnus, viewed a key purpose of liberal education as "the
ability to converse, to converse with knowledge, with intellectual discernment, and with
passion about the central ideas and problems of our time." lvii His entire commencement
address at the College of the Holy Cross, from which this quotation comes, is focussed
upon the significance of "the ongoing conversation on which cultures and civilizations
depend."
Somewhat similarly, a hallmark of Jesuit education is that it should produce men and
women trained to have eloquentia perfecta. While this includes the ability to
communicate to a large audience, through teaching, speaking, preaching, It must also
include the ability to enter creatively and constructively into conversation. Education can
be viewed as the progressive entering into, and eventually pushing forward, the ongoing
conversation on human ideas, projects and goals.
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A History of Conversations
In an essay on the 450th anniversary of the Society of Jesus, John Padberg, expert
historian on Jesuit history, describes the Jesuit tradition as a history of conversations on
fundamental questions, regarding where God is calling us, and how we might best
respond. "Most of the 450-year history of the Society of Jesus has been a series of such
conversations"lviii Input from this essay of his provides a fitting review and summary of
this chapter.
Padberg reminds us that “simple, friendly and informal conversations were the
earliest and chief means that Ignatius employed in helping people.” And, “such simple
talk, such conversation, was the beginning of the life and works of the Society of Jesus.”
He explains that for Ignatius and his followers, conversation means more than talking
with someone. In its more original meaning, it means “turning towards someone; to live
with, keep company with, and even to help oneself and the other person toward new
experiences and new interpretations of them.”
He continues that “the Society in its members has carried on a great variety of such
conversations.” These include conversations
with the secular world, with other
religious groups, with the church, among its own members, and finally, with the Lord.
He gives examples of each of these conversations, and adds that the conversations within
the Catholic Church “have sometimes been the most difficult of all, perhaps because
questions create tensions.”
Padberg views the Spiritual Exercises as the greatest source and resource for the
conversations that Jesuits hold. He recalls that for the Jesuit, as for every Christian, it is
the conversation with God, more particularly, the Word made flesh, that must be the
beginning and end of all conversation.
4. CONVERSATION I N CHRISTIAN MINISTRY.
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In describing the importance of conversation in the life and writing of St. Ignatius, we
have already indicated in passing a number of areas in Christian life and ministry where
conversation can play a significant role.. We now focus upon and explore a number of
these areas of Christian ministry where conversation plays a major role.
Private Prayer and Liturgical Prayer
Prayer has frequently been described as conversation with God. We believe in a
personal, Triune God, and as God's children, we relate to God as a child to a parent. It
seems to me that this presumes and builds upon our ability and willingness to converse
with our neighbor. If we have difficulty in relating to, and conversing with our neighbor,
it is highly probably that we will not relate well to God in conversational prayer. The
quality of our private prayer is closely related to the quality of conversation with our
neighbor. Such personalized prayer, in contrast with the more formal recitation of set
prayers, calls for this familiar conversational tone, whereby, we as God's children, as
brothers and sisters of Jesus Christ, honestly express to God our hopes and fears, our
joys, sorrows, concerns and needs.
If prayer is conversation with God, then it is two way. We usually think of prayer
first of all as talking to God. True enough, but in addition to speaking, we must listen.
We speak and God listens. God speaks and we listen. As is true for many persons, we
can and should improve our listening skills in ordinary conversation. So too, the listening
aspect of prayer should be more developed. I might add that St. Ignatius was expert in
this in his teaching on the discernment of spirits.
In addition to private prayer there is the more public, liturgical prayer of the Church.
For the priest, the reverential attitude of private prayer must carry over into his style in
presiding at the Eucharist. So much of the development of the Eucharistic liturgy, since
the Second Vatican Council, calls for this more personalized, indeed more conversational
tone. The priest faces the people and prays in the vernacular. He greets and welcomes the
community that gathers. The rubrics encourage creativity and initiative at various
moments of the liturgy so that the presider more fittingly relates to and involves the
congregation. The presider must be at ease in prayer, setting a prayerful tone, and
drawing the congregation into a prayerful relationship with God by his own example.
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We have also witnessed growth in the type and number of prayer services, which
often include moments of shared prayer, sharing one's faith. These occur frequently in
the communities of consecrated religious, but increasingly so among Christian laity in
parish serttings. In these small group meetings, the success of the prayer depends to a
great extent upon the ability of the participants to listen carefully to one another as well
as be open to the unifying Spirit present in their midst. An atmosphere of trust, where the
participants know each other and are at ease with one another through familiar
conversation, is important if the prayer group is to succeed and continue.
Preaching
The word "preaching" can be used in a negative way, to refer to someone who is
talking down to others, moralizing, laying on a trip. Even the word "sermon" can be a
byword for long and dull speeches or dull conversation, something uninviting and
disagreeable. But it need not be, and should not be this way.
In place of the often very long sermon, we speak more frequently now, with Vatican
II, of the homily based upon the readings of the Scripture. It is noteworthy that the very
word homily in its Greek origin, homilia means to converse and commune. To homilize
means to be in companionship with others, indeed to be in conversation with the
community of believers.
The preacher or homilist offers his or her explanation of the Word of God for that
occasion, that congregation, and engages those listening, the congregation, to begin their
own reflection on the Word of God. In this manner, the preacher begins to move to a
more dialogical tone and way in preaching. lix
The ability to communicate the Gospel values to the congregation presumes that one
understands the situations, needs, and context of the congregation. If we cannot converse
intelligently with our parishioners around the dinner table on Saturday evening, on issues
of concern to their families and friends, then we will not preach well on Sunday morning.
Ralph Waldo Emerson in his essay "The Preacher" advises the preacher in the following
way: "When there is any difference felt between the foot board of the pulpit and the floor
of the parlor, you have not said that which you should say.” A sermon is effective in so
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far as the members of the congregation sense and perceive that the preacher is speaking
to them, almost as if in a one on one conversation.
We now speak too of the dialogue homily for certain occasions and settings. In this
situation of faith sharing, most effective in small groups, the art and skill of conversation
plays a significant role. In the very process of sharing one's faith, new insights into the
biblical word and its implications for Christian life are uncovered Greater insight into the
biblical truth emerges in and through the prayerful struggle, the breaking open and
sharing of the Word of God.
Pastoral Counselling - Spiritual and Life Direction
Many priests, religious men and women, and an increasing number of lay persons are
engaged in regular spiritual direction. This has meant talking for the most part about
one’s spiritual or prayer life at regular intervals with a friend or spiritual guide. In accord
with the broader understanding of the word "spiritual" I suggest that we are concerned
with is the entire scope and life of person being directed, not only their prayer or interior
life, but their apostolic mission and community life, their relationship with neighbor as
well as God.
It is apparent that the ability to enter into genuine conversation is integral to good
direction. One must know the directee, their strength and weaknesses, their vision and
hopes, through conversation and questioning. A relationship of openness and trust must
be developed. Then, in light of that knowledge, the director can illuminate the life of
prayer and guide the apostolic life of the one being directed.
Much of the work of the pastoral minister, whether priest, religious, or lay person,
consists in pastoral counselling. One must respond to the crises, questions, hopes,
dreams, and fears, of those seeking help and advice. The first response must be to listen,
and then, in and through dialogue, constructive responses, possible options, and with that,
the Gospel and Christian perspective, can be offered.
The Sacrament of Penance
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The renewal of the rite of Reconciliation since Vatican II expands the role of the
confessor as judge to the confessor as counsellor, assisting the penitent to a better, graced
life. On a more informal and personalized manner, with the option of the confessional
room where priest and penitent celebrate the sacrament face to face, the art of
conversation again plays a major role.
According to the new ritual, the priest is to welcome the penitent with fraternal
charity, and if the occasion permits, address him or her with friendly word. Through this
more conversational mode, the minister supports, guides, and challenges the life situation
of the penitent and assists him or her towards growth and maturity. lx It seems to me that
the effectiveness of this new understanding of the rite of reconciliation will depend to
some extent upon the ability of the priest to engage in dialogue with the penitent simply,
directly, and charitably.
Reconciliation obviously takes place in many settings, in addition to the confessional
setting. We might recall here aspects of the tradition of the Church. In the letter of
James, we read: “Confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, that you
may be healed” (Jas. 5:16). Here Christians confess their sins to one another. According
to St. Thomas Aquinas, in an emergency situation we might confess our sins to a fellow
Christian. Jesus too reminds us: “If you bring your gift to the altar and there recall that
your brother has anything against you, leave your gift at the altar, go first to be reconciled
with your brother, and then come and offer your gift” (Mt. 5:23-24). To accomplish that
reconciliation, the skills of conversation might well be needed.
The Basic Christian Community Model of Church
We have referred to the image of model of Church as community of disciples. The
recent Synod of Bishops of the African Church has lifted forth the image of Church as a
family. In the context of Africa, the bishops have in mind the extended family, where inlaws, grandchildren, uncles, aunts are considered part of the family.
As Jesus began with a small group of twelve apostles, so in many places around the
world, in Central and South America, in parts of Africa and Asia, there are a growing
number of basic Christian communities. Some dioceses have made the formation of these
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small communities a pastoral priority, and a basic strategy for evangelization. In places
where the large parishes remain strong, there are groups within those parishes, zonal
groups, groups with similar interests, who gather regularly for common worship, and for
prayerful reflection on social or religious issues of concern, who share their faith hope
and love. With or without an ordained minister, they come together as equals. In these
basic communities, through dialogue and listening and shared prayer they form a unity, a
common Christian vision. The members take responsibility for one another, often in
sharp contrast to the anonymity an impersonal nature of the large urban or suburban
parish community.
A more secular analogate of these Christian communities would be the numerous help
groups that meet regularly, such as Alcoholics Anonymous, or Gamblers Anonymous,
single parents, widows or widowers. Through personal witness, through telling their
stories, support and challenge is offered to one another. Through simple conversation
and attentive listening these groups remain successful and effective in helping numerous
persons overcome or at least live with addictions and ailments, and overcome tragedy and
loss..
Somewhat similar would be the meetings of the Catholic Worker Movement.
Interested members and friends come together regularly for a talk and then for
discussion, or as Dorothy Day puts it, for "clarification of ideas". The wisdom, insight,
and experience of the group as shared in conversation is the major resource of these
meetings.
The Discipline and Study of Theology
We are increasingly aware of the rich spiritual and theological traditions of the
Christian Church, both historically, and now around the world. The idea of a single
theology, or one clear and distinct dogmatic tradition in the Church, even if desirable is
not easily realizable.
A theologian such as Thomas Aquinas was aware of the rich nature of theological
truth, and his method, as in the Summa Theologiae, points to that richness. He exposes
Christian doctrine in a thesis method. This might be viewed as a formalized or stylized
way of conducting a conversation on theological issues. A question is formulated.
Various voices, conversational partners on the question are cited and attended to. Then in
light of Scripture, tradition and various authorities, Thomas Aquinas states his position.
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The conversation continues as each of the voices and opinions is responded to, and if
necessary, refuted. This thesis method exemplifies a communal search for truth amid
varied voices and opinions - as it true of any genuine conversation.
In contemporary theology, there is an emphasis upon teamwork in view of the insight
that no one person can sufficiently master the various and growing complex areas and
disciplines of theology. There is also the need for interdisciplinary thinking, that is,
theology in dialogue not only with philosophy, its traditional partner, but with the social
sciences in particular. Here again, a conversational model comes to the fore.
Thus the documents of Vatican II present their teaching not in the more rigid
scholastic form of theses, but in pastoral prose, in the form of essays, that are classed as
Dogmatic Constitutions, Pastoral Constitutions, Decrees or Declarations. This form of
discourse has made the documents much more available and welcomed in the Christian
community.
So too, in theological writing, in place of an overly authoritarian method, where one
perspective dominates, we find an increasing number of theologians setting forth a
variety of positions, or a spectrum of views on complex theological issues. H. Richard
Niebuhr speaks of five models of the relationship of Christ and Culture. In a book that
has become a classic, Avery Dulles offers five or six models of Church. Raymond
Brown describes five types of biblical scholarship from conservative to liberal. lxi This
setting forth of models of theology does not always resolve the issue at hand, but it is
sound and helpful pedagogy. It invites the reader or theologian into dialogue, discussion,
conversation with the various positions, weighing the advantages and disadvantages of
each. Only through this grappling with many-sided issues can we move together towards
the truth.
Another way of doing theology is the "case-study approach". While initially
employed in cases of ethics and moral theology it has been extended to areas of liturgical,
historical, pastoral and systematic theology. In this method, instead of working with texts
or treatises, one focuses upon a concrete situation of history or the world today.
Conversation in a small group, discussing the case and coming together to agree on
pastoral solutions is the method employed in this case-study approach.lxii
Theology in these views is not simply the handling down of a tradition, but the
challenge for theologians today to enter creatively into the theological conversation that
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has been going on through the centuries, and enter it with the resources, questions,
concerns of present day cultures and contexts. H. Richard Niebuhr expressed it this way
years ago:
To train men (and women) for the ministry of the Church is to train them for ministry
to the world and to introduce them to the conversation of Church and world, a
conversation in which both humility and self-assurance have their proper place.lxiii
Some philosophers view the search for truth as an ongoing conversation. So too some
theologians view theology most basically as an ongoing conversation. lxiv As we will see,
it is important for this conversation that many diverse, enriching voices, including the
voices of women, the voices of the poor and marginated, are present and listened to.
The conversation model supports a plurality of voices (including the traditionally
excluded ones), as it also supports a variety of genres, thus encouraging us it also
supports a variety of genres, thus encouraging us to view theology as an egalitarian,
collegial enterprise.lxv In place of pure objectivism (truth out there, waiting to be
discovered), and in place of relativism or purely subjective preferences, truth emerges
within, from, and for the community through its ongoing conversation.
Catechesis and the Catechumenate
The “penny catechism”, the Baltimore Catechism, with its questions and answers
has served the Church well. It is still heavily used in many Catholic parishes and
outstations in Africa for example. The emphasis is not upon understanding but upon
memory. In view of its shortcomings, in view of the need to build mature adult Christian
faith, there have been numerous catechisms set forth the Christian faith in prose form,
for example the New Catechism or Dutch catechism. Most recently, the official Church
has put out, after a lengthy process, the Catechism of the Catholic Church. Rather than
questions and answers, it is written in prose form, with summaries at the end of each
section.
.
While it sets forth official church teaching, it also adds a rich amount of background
material from the church tradition, from saints and theologians. The section on prayer, for
example, while part of the catechism is more an introductory handbook or guide into
forms and types of Christian prayer. It is effective precisely because of its broadness and
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richness, offering many possibilities, engaging the reader into a conversation, rather than
simply expressing one viewpoint or voice on Christian prayer.
The Catechumenate, preparing Catholics for the sacraments of initiation,
presupposes an adult model of education. It sets forth a gradual, guided entrance into the
Christian mysteries. It asks that each participant have a sponsor, a dialogical partner
who participates with you in the process. Many of the rituals that mark progress through
the catechumenate involve stock answers, but personal responses, personal witness and
sharing of a more conversational nature is called forth. Through all of this, the process of
initiation into the Christian community and its sacramental life becomes more
individualized and representative of what the church intends to be, a community of
disciples, sharing faith and concerns through prayerful dialogue and conversation.lxvi
Ecumenical Dialogue
Vatican II has propelled the Catholic Church to enter into a variety of conversations
or dialogues. These are to occur within the Christian community (the ecumenical
dialogue). with other religious traditions (the inter-religious dialogue), with the modern
world (of politics, science, art, etc.), and even with atheists. Since we have touched on
this before, and will return to this later, we mention it here simply to reaffirm the
importance of the art and skill of conversation in carrying on these dialogues. Even
within the Catholic Church as we have indicated earlier, there have been calls, such as
that by the late Cardinal Bernardin, for dialogue on common concerns.
In these various dialogues, the use of conversation should be viewed not simply
as a tool or device for stimulating discussion and clarifying opinions, although it is that.
Dialogue and conversation should be viewed as a religious categories or acts, indeed as
acts of faith, hope, and love.
The Ministry of Education
Throughout its history, the Catholic Church has been a significant pioneer in the
field of education. The monastery schools, the seminaries, the great universities of the
middle ages were Church sponsored. The historical impact of the Society of Jesus on
education first in Europe and then beyond, extending to the present, is well known.
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While there are advances in education due to television, media, computer, and
access to libraries through the Internet, at the heart of education, at the heart of all
teaching, is the teacher-student relationship. From the writings of Paulo Freire, we are
also more aware of the difference between liberating and oppressive pedagogies.lxvii In a
liberating pedagogy, the teacher is seen as midwife, personally dealing with students,
listening, learning, as well as lecturing. Truth is not seen as a bank deposit, simply to be
withdrawn, but as something that is personally discovered through active learning and
participation, with the guidance of the teacher as midwife. Here again, the basic model of
conversation seems to be at the heart of good education. Thus small seminars with active
participation, personally guided projects must be as important, or indeed more important
than lectures, than simply assigned readings. Jesuit education speaks frequently of cura
personalis, personal concern and care, the relationship of the teacher to each student.
This of course can only be established through knowledge, interaction with the student in
a more conversational, small group, tutorial, or one-on-one setting.
Missionary Activity: Evangelization and Inculturation
According to the Second Vatican Council, each Church, indeed each Christian is
challenged to be on mission, called to share the good news. Each Christian "should be
ready to give an account of the hope that is in you" (1 Pet. 3:15). The challenge falls
heavily on the laity to exercise their priestly, prophetic and king-servant roles given them
in baptism, in a variety of settings, such as student, farm worker, mother, teacher, banker.
Each must not only have and live the faith, but share it.
Particularly difficult, but especially important is the need to bring Christian values
to bear upon the complex social structures that configure our lives today. In this realm,
the educated Christian laity has the mission and task that no theologian, no bishop, no
priest can or should do. This dialogue with the modern world takes place in banks and
boardrooms, in transnational corporation headquarters, computer rooms and libraries. The
laity must represent and share the gospel in these crucial conversations.
The word inculturation describes this process in which gospel values first enter into
the life of the Christian, an then through the Christian into the fabric of the culture.
Inculturation is encouraged by popes, bishops conferences, synods. Inculturation is
described, developed, and illuminated by theologians and scholars.lxviii Yet, eventually
inculturation is achieved only at the local level. Here is where conversation enters in.
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More than ever, the willingness to converse, the skill and art of conversation are needed
to carry on this dialogue of the gospel with the modern world. One key to inculturation,
in common with genuine conversation, is the ability to listen to, to learn from the culture.
Before speaking, before preaching the good news, one must know the audience, the
culture, and the situation, and this is achieved only through attentive listening.
Inculturation demands disciplined study of the culture and the Christian tradition. It
also demands a series of conversation between pastors and congregation, scholars with
their colleagues, conversation among the rich variety of God's people. Inculturation will
only be successful if there has been sufficiently broad conversation among a particular
community on how best it can live and profess the Christian faith in its specific time and
place.
Thus a conversational model becomes crucial for this task of inculturation. In this
series of conversation of conversations, the new theology emerges. Conversation
becomes not only a means but an ongoing end or goal.
Inculturation must take place in all contexts and cultures. The experience of living
and working in Africa reveals quickly the importance and the difficulty of conversation
in this process. There is the basic problem of language - where the learning of a new
language itself can be viewed as a ministry, and as an indispensable way into a new
culture. Then there are the challenges of understanding a new culture, the encounter
with cultural differences. Not only the verbal but the non-verbal aspects of an encounter
or conversation become highly significant. But the way forward, through these
challenges, I submit, is only through continued conversation. Through this we gain
clearer understanding, correct misunderstandings, and build relationships. With that
foundation in place, the work of evangelization and inculturation, in Africa and in
America, can proceed.
Conclusion: Back to Ordinary Life
We have examined a series of situations of ministry where conversation plays an
important or indispensable role. Accordingly, one's ability, one's talent in the art and skill
and grace of conversation will to some extent determine one's success in these various
situations of ministry. In a following chapter we will try to assist in reflecting on one's
awareness of the art and skill of conversation.
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Running through this chapter, and indeed through the entire book, is an incarnational
theology and spirituality. What does this mean at bottom in terms of conversation? While
in this chapter we have examined some of the more formal situations of Christian
ministry, I think an emphasis on conversation in an incarnational spirituality pushes us
back to ordinary, everyday life.
We must remind ourselves that in our everyday
conversation with one another, God is always and everywhere involved. Through
questions and answers, through sharing of experiences, we move forward in our search
for God. “Our hearts are restless until they rest in God.” This God is one, true and good.
.
God is One. Conversation unites us with our brothers and sisters in everyday life.
Even when it involves conflict, loving strife creates union, and all union is only possible
if the Spirit of God is present. The same bond that unites the Father and the Son in the
inner life of the Trinity, unites God's children with one another and with God.
God is True. Through conversation, through searching questions and answers, we
move to the truth, shedding our own prejudices and opening our hearts and minds to the
larger truth. God is truth. In every true word spoken, in every true word listened to, God
is present as the foundation and the goal..
God is Good. We also express this by saying with the letter of John that “God is
love” (1 Jn. 4:8). In genuine conversation, talking to one another is loving one another.
We are indeed loving God, and drawing near to the love of God, through our love of
neighbor. Conversation is one place where this love of neighbor is disclosed and tested.
If God is one, true, and good, then God is the hidden partner of all conversation.
In the parable of the last judgement, in Matthew 25, Jesus discloses that what we do
to the least of the brother or sisters, we do to him. This parable forms the basis of the
traditional corporal and spiritual works of mercy.. Surely the reality of our everyday
conversation with the neighbor - a family member or co-worker, those well off, and in a
special way, those in need of a word or deed of love - is our most normal and everyday
way of encountering Jesus Christ. Most profoundly, it is the way to everlasting life. If
we have met Jesus Christ in the conversations of everyday, then we might well hope to be
invited by him to be with him in his kingdom.
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At the same time as we emphasize that we find God in and through everyday life, it is
necessary to remind ourselves that we must continually grow in our relationship with
God through prayer. If this conversational, prayerful relationship with God is alive and
healthy,
then this loving relationship and dialogue with God will overflow into
conversation with our neighbor. St. Francis de Sales writes:
If you are in love with God, you will often speak of God in your familiar discourses
with those of your household, your friends, and your neighbors.lxix
The quality and depth of our relationship with God intermingles, intertwines,
reinforces our relationship with the neighbor and vice versa. Pope John Paul II told the
people of India: “As we open ourselves to dialogue with one another, we also open
ourselves to God.” In the first letter of John we read: “If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ and
hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen,
cannot love God whom he has not seen” (1 Jn. 4:20) In a variation on this, can we not
ask: How can we converse with God, who we do not see, if we do not converse with our
neighbor, whom we do see?
In the following chapters, we will try to provide some suggestions, at a theoretical
and practical level, of how to improve our conversation. The first suggestion, in the next
chapter, is to include new and significant voices in our ongoing conversation.
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5. VOICES IN THE CONVERSATION
If this ongoing conversation of the Church, both within the church and in its mission
and responsibility to the world is to be successful, then it must be inclusive rather than
exclusive. It must be broad and all-encompassing. In this way the conversation will be
both challenged and enriched.. It will more closely echo the God who it believes in, the
God who is creator and Lord of all, the God who intends the Good News to be shared
with all people.
In this brief chapter, we will indicate three specific voices which should be listened
to, namely the voice of women, the voice of the marginated and the voice of adherents of
other religious traditions. . Why this need to listen? It is a question of justice to those
whose voice has too often been silenced, an opportunity of enrichment for all, and a path
of insight into the fullness of truth.
The Voice of Women
Slowly, painfully, the voice of women is being heard. One can find in the history of
Christianity stories, rules, practices which exclude the voice of women. Some of the
letters of St. Paul can be read as proposing that women keep silent in the church, even if
several women were friends and co-workers in his missionary activity. Priests were
warned of the danger of conversing with women. Women was viewed as the temptress.
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St. Ignatius Loyola certainly held these cautious views. To hear the confession of a
women, a screen or crates was necessary.
In recent years, a remarkable shift has occurred. Through access to education,
through travel and cross cultural experiences, women take a more prominent place in
secular society and in the church. Their voices are being heard. They will not remain
silent, and rightly so.
Theological studies have been enriched, older views have been challenged by the
capable presence of women, by the scholarly research and writing of women on major
areas of theology.lxx We have learned to read certain stories and passages of the
Scriptures in a new way, after they have been illuminated by women scholars. For
example, the prominence of the women during the passion, death, and resurrection of
Jesus, while always in the gospels, has been seen and explored as if for the first time.
Pastoral ministry, in parishes, in retreat centres, chaplaincies in educational and
health-care institutions have been improved and enriched by the presence of women, and
by the collaboration of men and women. This momentum must continue and increase,
with the continued growing presence of the voices of women in the ongoing
conversations.
Why this enrichment? Every person has his or her own experience of the world and of
God, determined to some extent by cultural, physical, psychological social factors. An
African thinks differently than an Alaskan. Studies begin to show that women see
differently. Women think, feel, sense, and thus too speak and write somewhat differently
than men. All men and women, by our nature seek truth, goodness and happiness. Thus
it makes eminent sense to draw upon the resources, richness of experience of all.
Most significantly there is woman’s special relation to life. They stand for and can
call forth reverence for life and for persons in a world overwhelmed by technology, in a
Church burdened by bureaucracy. Woman can demonstrate deep compassion for the
poor and the oppressed, to those depressed or despairing, to those abused or abandoned.
Woman reminds us that Jesus came that we may have life, life in its fullness. In a world
where a culture of death seems to be so prominent, we need the voice and witness of
woman for life.
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Yet as I write about the voice and contribution of woman, I do so somewhat
hesitatingly because I am male. I realize that I have much to learn. My hope is that these
words, imperfect and inadequate, will to some extent reflect the viewpoint of woman,
and be sufficiently true to open us, especially men, to the enrichment that we all need that
comes from careful listening to the voices of women.
Women’s Ways of Knowing
Several studies in recent have pointed to the differences between men and women in
making moral decisions, indeed, more generally in how women know and think.
One
way to explain this difference is to say that women have more connected knowing in
contrast with separate knowing. Surely these are generalizations, and yet they try to
point to reality. Women are more believing and caring, rather than doubting and
critical.
Women seek more personal and experiential truth rather than objective and
impersonal.
Women are more questioning rather than defensive.
Feelings and
intuitions more likely enter into their way of thinking. Women more likely pick up nonverbal cues in conversation. Understanding is more important than assessment,
collaboration more important than debate, acceptance more important than aggressivity.
Women’s Ways of Conversing
Again, some recent empirical studies indicate that in ordinary conversation, there are
differences between men and women.lxxi These of course flows from what we have
indicated above. While men are more direct and in this sense powerful, women are more
indirect, more inclined to listen. In mixed groups men tend to talk more and to interrupt
more. Women use less profanity, and of course, not only the words, but the topics and
images would vary considerably from that of men.
Feminist Spirituality
As there are differences in ways of thinking and relating, so there are differences in
how women believe, think about, and relate to God in prayer and relate to the Church.
Spirituality is a word that tries to encapsulate our beliefs, behavior, patterns of thought in
relation to what is ultimate, to God. Some would propose that in contrast to male
spirituality, feminist spirituality is more related to nature and natural processes than to
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culture; more personal and relational than objective and structural.
mutuality and equality prevail over opposing tendencies.
Reciprocity,
The feminist experience of God might frequently use the prefix “co” to express
itself. Thus we relate to God as co-creating, co-shaping and co-stewardship. Process
words best describe this relationship to God, words such as developing, changing, and
loving.
The very language we use to talk about God will vary from men to women. God is
pure spirit, neither, male nor female, and yet the Christian tradition for the most part has
addressed God as Father. We see that there are exceptions in Scripture and in Christian
tradition. God is also mother, with the love of a mother for her children. Many women
and men have found this insight helpful in their understanding of God, and in their
prayerful relationship to God.
Perhaps better than imaging God as father or mother, a feminist spirituality
envisions God as friend. lxxii God is friend to humanity and friend to every individual.
God as friend is never fully known and always surprising, yet comforting and at home
with us.
Inclusive Language
One clear and obvious step in the right direction is to employ more inclusive language
in conversation and in writing. Sure there are obstacles here, historical difficulties, but we
must admit that much progress has been made. Bishops statements, papal statements now
are much more careful in avoiding so called "sexist language". In this way alone, the
conversation has been enlarged, women feel more welcome and included.
Return to the Foundations
In the gospels we see Jesus frequently reach out, listen, learn, include women in the
conversations. To the shock of his disciples, he engages in dialogue with the Samaritan
woman - an outsider because she is a woman, and a Samaritan woman, and as it turns out,
one married five times. He listens to the appeal of the Syro-Phoenician woman and
heals her daughter. The first appearances and encounters with the Risen Lord are with
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women. The list could be extended. Surely part and parcel of the ministry of Jesus was
this inclusion of women in the ongoing conversation.
A contemporary woman theologian, Anne Carr, points to the contribution that the
voices of women can make today: lxxiii
If theology and ministry represent a kind of conversation in the academy, in the
church, and even, as the bishops’ statement indicates, in society, the plural voices
of women in that conversation, voices long excluded, are uniquely important in
the wholeness for which we all, women and men alike, search.
The Voice of the Marginated and Poor
Another example of the enrichment that results from new voices is discovered in the
theology of liberation. Pastoral work, theological reflection, the very mission of the
Church has been challenged and reshaped and given new direction through the theology
of liberation. While this theology originated in Latin America, it is now part of the
universal Church through the various speeches of Pope John Paul, and through two
instructions issued by the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. One key to this
theology has been for the theologian and pastoral agent to attend to, to be sensitive and
attentive to the voice and plight of the poor and marginated. Their questions, their faith,
their insights, their plight becomes part of the ecclesial conversation. Their voice is taken
seriously and addressed. The poor keep alive the question of God, of his kingdom, of
Christ, of love, justice, and sin. lxxiv They challenge previous understandings, previous
prejudices, and keep alive the ethical demands of charity. They help us to understand
what holiness and sin are.
Who are these poor and marginalized? . Gutierrez describes them as the nonpersons. They have not been included, not treated as person by civil society and
frequently too by the churches.lxxv They are those not in the center, in the corridors of
power or wealth, but at the margins, hence the marginalized or marginated. They include
the physically and mentally handicapped, the prisoners, the refugees, the poor, the
illiterate, the children (child workers) the under employed and unemployed, the elderly ,
all those we do not feel drawn to care about, those we too often would like top forget.
Yet, as we see, they comprise the great mass of humanity.
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At the same time, there is a rediscovering of the importance of the poor to God, as
disclosed in the Scripture, and hence to the Christian church. “The Lord hears the cry of
the poor!”(Ps.10:17, 102:21) Can we, followers of the Lord, say as much, or do they
remain the outsiders, the silent ones whose voice is not heard, whose face is not seen? Do
they not, as children of God, have the right to be heard - should this not be considered in,
and included in the basic human rights? The right to express their sorrow and grief, their
hopes and dreams.
Scripture indicates that God has a special love and care for the poor. God identifies
God's very self with the needy, the hungry, the prisoner (Matthew 25). In the theology of
liberation, the poor receive a special, privileged place. They are seen to be a place of
revelation, a place where God, an hence the truths of theology are found.
If we follow the lead of liberation theology, it is not only bringing the poor into the
conversation. It is putting them at the center - where they become a theological source, a
resource for understanding Christian truth and practicelxxvi
The gospels present Jesus as one who hears the cry of the poor. He opens his eyes,
ears, heart, and hands to reach out, touch, bless, heal, empower the lepers, the sinners,
the prostitutes, the little ones, as the children are called. His followers should do no less.
The Voice of Other Religious Traditions
Dialogue with Christians who are not Catholics, and dialogue with Jews has been
undertaken in the past thirty years, since the Second Vatican Council. That conversation
should continue to develop and even expand.
The Vatican Council issued a “Declaration on the Relationship of the Church to nonChristian Religions.” It specifically refers to Hinduism, Buddhism, and Islam, and in a
very special way to Judaism. Catholics are exhorted to dialogue and collaborate with the
followers of these traditions. In the years since the Council, we are more aware than
ever of the significance and importance of these traditions. As of 1997, estimates speak
of 1.95 billion Christians, and of 1.1 billion Muslims, 800 million Hindus and 325
million Buddhists. Increased interaction, mobility, migration, and communication make
Christians much more aware of these traditions. At times too, Western Christians in the
face of growing secularism, seek in the East new insight, new light, a new spirituality.
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More recently, Islam has been growing rapidlly in Europe, in France and England for
example, and also in the United States. Islamic movements in the mid-East, often
movements of a more fundamentalistic nature, have also made a great impact in the midEast and beyond, in Algeria, in Sudan, and at times in the USA. Clearly, if we are to live
in this world which becomes increasingly smaller and interconnecteed, we must learn to
live with these great religious traditions in peace and harmony. For this to happen, we
must understand what they stand for, understand better their ultimate values. In this
process too, Christianity can only be enriched.
At the time of the Council, the Vatican established the Secretariat for Dialogue with
Other Religions, now headed by the Cardinal Arinze of Nigeria. The agenda of this
Secretariat, in addition to the dialogue with the great traditions, calls for dialogue with
the traditional religions in Africa, and the modern sects and independent churches
appearing in Africa and elsewhere.
So too, the 34th General Congregation of the Society of Jesus issues a key document
on “Our Mission and Interreligious Dialogue.”
Jesuits commit themselves to this
dialogue, a dialogue that takes place on various levels. Then it outlines eleven guidelines
that offer an orientation “for developing a culture of dialogue in our life and ministry”
(137-148). This mission to dialogue with other religious traditions is inseparably linked
with our mission to justice and our mission to foster culture:
No service of faith without
promotion of justice
entry into cultures
openness to other religious experiences
No promotion of justice without
communicating faith
transforming cultures
collaboration with other traditions
No inculturation without
communicating faith with others
dialogue with other traditions
commitment to justice
No dialogue without
sharing faith with others
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evaluating cultures
concern for justice
(47)
In the gospels, while the primary mission of Jesus was to the Jewish people, he
reached out to others such as the Syro-Phoenician woman. He reminded the Jewish
people and his own followers that “people would come from east and west, from the
north and the south, and will take their place at the feast in the kingdom of God” (Lk.
13:29). The queen of the South, and the citizens of Nineveh will rise and condemn this
generation (Lk. 11:30-32).
In this day and age, it would seem that there is no alternative but to engage in
searching, fruitful conversation with the adherents of the major religious traditions. We
have much to share, and also much to learn. Their voices must enter into our ongoing
conversation.
Conclusion
If we listen to the voices mentioned in this chapter, if we include them in our
conversation, we will simply be fulfilling the vision of Pope Paul VI and enlarge the
“circles of dialogue” that he described in his first encyclical, Ecclesiam Suam (No. 96110). The largest and most encompassing of the concentric circles is the world itself.
Here I would situate especially the marginated and of course the voice of women. The
second circle, according to Paul VI, is made up of those who adore the same God that
Christians adore, thus adherents of the non-Christian religious traditions. The third circle
is the circle of Christianity. Finally, there is the family conversation with the Children of
the House of God, the one, holy, catholic and apostolic Church, of which this Roman
Church is “mother and head.” Pope Paul VI supports and encourages conversation and
dialogue on all these levels. If this takes place, then necessarily the voices of women,
the marginalized, and the great religious traditions, voices too often excluded, will be
included in the ongoing conversation.
Conversation with these new partners or new voices may well, as in all authentic
conversation, lead to conversion. New attitudes, new insights, new viewpoints may
emerge, that cause us to shed old and less adequate ways of viewing reality and not only
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reality but the mission of the Church. Ultimately, it is conversion to the truth, the
turning and drawing near to the truth which is God, which is at stake.
6. COMPLEMENTARITY
Why are there difficulties in conversing? What is the problem? What are the
cause of these difficulties?
For one reason there are many new voices. Indeed our
previous chapter urged us to include even more and more new voices in the ongoing
conversation. We are more aware of the diversity of the varied voices, due to increased
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communication. Television for example, in news and features shows us the many
peoples around the world, with rich cultural and religious traditions, in varying stages of
economic and political development. More and more, this world is at our doorsteps and
we can no longer live as if the world ends at the border of our nation. There is so much
more input, data entering into our lives and the issue of how to assimilate all of it
becomes a major challenge. This makes conversation more difficult, more complex,
more varied, but it also makes the conversation more enriching - if we have the desire
and courage to enter into the ongoing conversation. One further factor is the growing
gap between first world and developing nations. While we live in one physical world,
technological progress, access to libraries and media and travel in the first world make
the conversation with those from the developing nations more strained, more difficult.
In the next two chapters we will examine way in which to improve the quality of
our conversation. This chapter will present a more theoretical way, and the following
chapter will present more practical and concrete ways.
How can the many voices come together? How can the new voices be given the
opportunity to be heard, and how can we begin to listen and to learn from the many
voices? How can we make sense of the many cultures? Do they fit together into any
pattern, or does each one go its own way?
We will begin by examining a few words
to describe this situation. In a sense we are looking at the traditional problem of the one
and the many. Then we will present and explain the word “complementarity” and offer
it as a word, indeed a vision, an attitude, and a way of thinking, that might prove a
helpful way forward in the ongoing conversation.
As we reflect on our experience today, some would say that we face increasing
diversity. Some would say that there is increasing pluralism. Some use the word
multiculturalism. to characterize what they see and experience. Others seek and desire
not only unity, but uniformity. Our own suggestion is to think rather in terms of
complementarity.
Each of these expressions we have used, each of them implies a
vision, a way of seeing and thinking, and they must be explored and explained.
Diversity
In its root meaning, diversity means that two or more realities “diverge” or literality,
go their own way. As the poet puts it, “Two roads diverge in a wood...” Rather than
relating, or keeping in contact, two who diverge tread their own path, perhaps oblivious
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of the other. In terms of our topic of conversation, this means two distinct and even
diverging conversations. One speak says this, and another says that, with little or no
connection. There is no meeting of minds. We do not learn from the other, but let them
“do their own thing.” Seen from the larger perspective, this results in rampant pluralism,
perhaps even in a cacophony. It leads to polarization rather than interchange.
Pluralism
In its root meaning, pluralism means “many” or several. Here we are struck by the
differences between culture and religions, the great variations in the varied voices in the
conversation.
Rather than see the one, or the unity, this tends to focus on the
differences, and at times relax and revel in them. “Let a thousand flowers bloom...”
In theology, for example, some speak of a healthy and an unhealthy pluralism or
a true and a false pluralism. An unhealthy or false pluralism would be one in which
“anything goes.” Thus David Tracy speaks of “the darker side of this pluralistic
vision.”lxxvii It becomes content with a relaxed mode of dialogue, and ignores the value of
argument and conflict.
One modification of this model is to speak of pluriformity. This would be an
attempt to speak of many forms which arise out of some more basic unity which is at the
base of pluralism. In this view, there is some vision of a larger whole or unity, and there
are then many expressions, a pluralism of expressions of that larger whole. This seems a
step in the right direction, moving beyond an unhealthy pluralism.
Multiculturalism
Here we appreciate the diversity of voices, the diversity of cultural heritages, that
make up one nation such as the United States. We try to include respect for these diverse
cultures, for example in the way in which we set forth the curriculum in our educational
institutions.
But under the model of multiculturalism, we can ask if we see the
connections or analogies among the many cultures. Or, does it not have the temptation
and danger to result in an unhealthy pluralism.
Uniformity
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In contrast to much of the above, those who favor uniformity see pluralism as
negative and divisive. Those who favor uniformity see it as the only way to have true
and lasting peace among persons of varying ideas and diverse cultures. In unity there is
strength; unity arises only from uniformity.
Complementarity
Might complementarity become the more descriptive and operative word, replacing
diversity and pluralism to guide us into our many conversations?
The root meaning com/plere means to fill out or to bring to fullness or
completion. What is lacking in the whole is supplied in mutuality through the richness of
the individuals. The riches of one make up for the limitations of the other. In addition,
with its root cum or com, it implies an ongoing relationship with others. To be
complementary means to see onself as part of a larger whole. To see something as
complementary means to see that object as part of, and related to a larger whole.
One 20th century use of the word complementarity was introduced by the scientist
Niels Bohr in 1927.
In the realm of physics, this tenet means that a complete
knowledge of phenomena on atomic dimensions requires a description of both wave and
particle properties.
It is impossible to observe both the wave and particle aspects
simultaneously. Together, however, they present a fuller description than either of the
two taken alone. He terms these two irreconcilable aspects of the electron
‘complementary aspects’. By speaking of complementarity, he says we can see the
process from two points of view which although contradictory and thus mutually
exclusive, are nevertheless both indispensable to a complete description of the
experience.
Bohr went further and generalized from this idea of complementarity, making it a
kind of epistemological principle, applying it to science and religion, to cultures, to
justice and mercy. Our concern is not to follow this direction, but rather to examine and
use complementarity is a more general and common-sense manner.
It is interesting to note that the words complement and compliment were
originally the same. The meaning of compliment, namely to pay tribute, might be
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maintained as inherent in complementarity. That is, two objects or ideas that are
complementary, also compliment one another, or pay courtesy and give encouragement
to each other.
Complementarity as a way of seeing, thinking, and conversing clearly rules out
uniformity or an unhealthy pluralism. It says that no one particular viewpoint or one
culture or one voice can fully represent the whole. There must be relatedness,
interdependence to show forth the fullness of truth. In general, complementarity favors
inclusive rather than exclusive ways of thinking.
Models of Unity Through Complementarity
To enable us to think and converse with the notion of complementarity in view, we
will present some examples or models where a complementary way of thinking results in
a richness and unity, and points to a fullness. In one sense, they present analogies for the
images of the types of conversation we envision as essential today.lxxviii
A) A choir composed of men and women, old and young, where each sings his or
her own best and yet blend together into harmony under a skilled director. In place of
tiresome monotony and painful dissonance there is a rich unity through complementarity.
So too, a symphony orchestra or perhaps even better, a jazz band, with individual
creativity and improvisation comes together into rich unity.
B) The world of nature, diverse in colors and species, in its variety of sounds and
fragrances, yet one world or cosmos as seen so clearly by the astronauts from outer space.
C) The rainbow or spectrum of colors that results from the refraction of seemingly
pure white sunlight. Science does in fact speak of complementary colors, meaning that
those two colors together give a neutral color of whitish grey.
D) The United Nations, the Olympic Games, the World Cup in Soccer, or a modern
metropolis like New York City at their best. In each of these we see the panoply of
nations and races of the earth represented, living, sharing, playing, or working together to
make up the one family of humankind.
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E) The four gospels, each in its own way portraying, pointing creatively to the same
Jesus Christ. No one of them would be sufficient and even together they only begin to
glimpse the fullness of Jesus Christ. The canon of Scripture, rather than fostering
uniformity, functions to recognize the validity of, and marks the limits of acceptable
diversity. It points to unity through complementarity.
F) The Pauline theology of the body of Christ points to one body where the strong
complement the weak, all parts working together to make up the body of Christ (Rom.
12:15ff., and 1 Cor. 12:12ff.). Related to that imagery is the theology of the charisms
given to individual Christians which work together to form one Church (1 Cor. 12:4ff.
and 1 Pet.4:10ff.).
G) The image of the Church beginning at Pentecost where persons of different
languages and cultures retain those languages and cultures and still come together in
union through the one Spirit of Jesus Christ.
H) The range and variety of the communion of saints throughout Christian history.
Men and women, young and old, African and European, bishops and catechumens are
affirmed as saints and held forth as models. Each in his or her own way points to a
possible and complementary way of following Jesus Christ.
I) The rich tradition of the Eastern Churches, together with the Western Churches that
comprise Roman Catholicism. The Eastern Churches have preserved and developed their
own institutions, liturgical rites and ordering of the Christian life. This in turn
complements more western expressions, and enriches the Universal Church. As Vatican
II affirms, between Churches of the East and West “there is a wonderful bond of union so
that this variety in the Universal Church, so far from diminishing its unity, rather serves
to emphasize it” (Decree on the Catholic Eastern Churches, No.2).
The key word that I believe helps us to understand and appreciate these models
is complementarity. It points to a harmony and unity that is found precisely in and
through rich diversity. Might this become the operative model and replace the model of
pluralism? Might complementarity become even more a way of thinking and relating,
and a key to the ongoing conversation?
The Way of Complementarity
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To think in terms of complementarity involves several virtues. First of all, it involves
humility. We maintain a modest of humble view of our own positions because we realize
that the fullness of truth is beyond ourselves and our limited viewpoints. The truth is
always greater.
Complementarity also involves respect - respect for the views of others. This does
not mean that we become uncritical. We still can call nonsense what it is, nonsense. But
we enter a conversation with respect, with a learning attitude, with a trust that we can
learn something for others, from their rich background and experience.
To think and converse in terms of complementarity means that we see and express
our own views in relationship to others. This contrasts with a view in which we simply
favor diversity (meaning going one’s own way) or an unhealthy pluralism (to each his or
her own). In a complementary way of thinking, we maintain a sense of relationship, a
sense of the whole, a sense that only together with the cooperation of others can we move
to the fullness of truth.
To think in terms of complementarity involves a disciplined way of thinking. It
may mean a conversion on our part whereby we listen carefully to others, try to
understand, and indeed learn and profit from their viewpoints. It is easier to give our own
views, to pass by others, rather than to listen, respond, relate our views to others. Thus
discipline is needed. It is not easy to see connections, and see that the pieces are parts of
a larger whole. While we may revel and rejoice in particularities, in the seemingly
unique, in particular expressions of the truth, we do not rest there but seek for deeper
links and unities among the varied expressions of truth.
To think and converse in terms of complementarity means to oppose any radical
fundamentalist view of truth, whether in the area of religion, culture or politics. Thus a
facile dogmatism is viewed as inadequate. Any group that professes or protests that it has
all the answers is suspect. Any group that simply tries to impose its views or absolutize
its views is suspect. Yet even so, that group or voice is not dismissed or disregarded.
Rather through the slow and painful process of dialogue and conversation, we seek to
work with them, and open both them and ourselves up to the truth that is richer than our
partial views of it.
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One further word may be added here, a word of some import in theology today
due to input from the theology of liberation, and from the writings of Pope John Paul II.
That word is solidarity. To think in terms of complementarity means that we try to live
and think not as isolated selves but in solidarity with others. Not the rugged individual
but the one who has the ability to go out, to listen and learn, to insert oneself into the
ongoing life and conversation, that is the ideal. We are our brothers and sisters keepers.
The pursuit of truth and good calls for and calls forth this attitude of openness, respect,
and dialogue with others. Hence some sense for, and degree of solidarity becomes a
requirement, a goal, and a virtue in the ongoing conversation.
To think and converse in terms of complementarity means to favor an analogical
imagination, rather than a univocal imagination. Here I am relying upon the creative and
careful work of David Tracy, in his book by that title.lxxix Aware of the reality of
pluralism, the many voices, Tracy sees the analogical imagination as crucial if the
conversation among the religions and cultures is to succeed. He speaks against an
indifferentism and against “the repressive tolerance” of a lazy pluralism. He speaks, as
we do, against the “invincible ignorance” of the fundamentalist and the traditionalists of
every religion. As he explains, “in our pluralistic, conflictual, near chaotic situation,
conversation may assume the form of an analogical imagination.” This imagination,
very close to what we express by complementarity, may enable us to see similarities,
parallels, links between diverse expressions, may enable us to glimpse “the encompassing
light always-already with us.”
To converse in terms of complementarity presupposes that I have a good
knowledge of myself, my strengths and weaknesses, my viewpoints and convictions.
Indeed, not only knowledge, but the ability to express this in conversation. Then, in the
very process of listening and sharing these viewpoints, my own views are clarified as we
search for common ground, for the larger more encompassing truth.
A complementary way of thinking thus might well lead to transformation. The
back and forth, the comparing and contrasting of views, the continual search for new
understandings, certainly involves conversion and transformation. If there is openness
on both sides, then transformation occurs on both sides as we draw together and draw
closer to the truth.
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A complementary way of thinking will involve a number of related concepts and
ideas that stress cooperation and communion. In the English language, the prefixes
“com, co, con” when added to words, connote a warmth, a positive image. Examples of
such words would be “commitment, concert, confirmation, community, communion,
conspire, construct, conviction, convocation, consultation, cooperation, collaboration,
confidence.” These are “together” words, often bringing to mind groups of persons
living, believing, working together. They remind us of the beauty and challenge of the
social nature of humankind. Needless to say, the word conversation is another of these
words, con-versio/ con-versatio, meaning to turn together. To think and to converse in
terms of complementarity is very much at home with these concepts and words, because
it means to think together with others, to search with others for truth and common
ground.
To think in terms of complementarity means to favor a more inclusive rather than
exclusive way of thinking.
We do not regard ourselves, our race, our nation, our
viewpoint as separate and superior, but rather as part of the picture, indeed a very
important part from our perspective. But then, we reach out and try to relate to and be
inclusive, in a sense include others, the voices of others, in our ongoing conversation.
We do not fear this, because of a deeper trust in faith and reason.
Conclusion
How can we move beyond the idols of the tribe, the narrow viewpoints, the
cultural parochialism which we all fall prey to? How can we move to true catholicity?
How can we not allow our rich diversity to lead to separation or worse, to conflict?
How can we overcome the varied gaps between old and young, between first world and
developing nations, between tribes, between the rich variety of religious traditions?
Conversation remains one key. And for that to succeed, we need a way of thinking, a
way of seeing and relating.
In this chapter, we suggest the way of way of complementarity. Involved in this
is the ability to see, feel and extend beyond our own views, the ability to see our limited
views in relationship with other limited views. Involved in this is the ability to think
with, sympathize with, listen to others. All of this demands discipline, effort, virtue on
our part. And with everything that is good and worthwhile, Christians add that it requires
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the grace and power of God. All movement beyond oneself can only be done in the
power of God.. For this reason, St. Ignatius, as we have noted, speaks not only of the art,
but the grace of conversation.
We might view this chapter on complementarity as a further explanation of what we
referred to in the previous chapter as “connected thinking,” when speaking of the voice of
women in the ongoing conversation. Not so much competitive thinking or debate, but
more the cooperative search for truth and meaning.
While this is said to be more
characteristic of women than of men, in our view, it is a necessary way of thinking if the
ongoing conversation is to succeed.
Some may say that the danger in this way of thinking is that it will not lead to
action. It is simply talk and more talk. Some say that dialogue and conversation may be a
cop-out, the conscious or unconscious way to avoid action. I do not think this is the
case. True dialogue, true thinking in the way of complementarity, as we explained
briefly, involves transformation of my views and myself and hopefully transformation of
those we are in dialogue with. Transformation is itself an action and one that should lead
to further action.
Earlier in this chapter we presented some images that illustrate the way of
complementarity. Let me add one further image, the image of many rivers leading to the
sea. Many rivers have their source in different mountains. They roll down, crooked or
straight and eventually come to the sea. So, the varied creeds and religions, the varied
languages and cultures, might be viewed as the rich streams that come together into the
ocean of truth.
We began this chapter emphasizing that here we are speaking more at the level of
theory or vision. In the next chapter we turn more to the concrete and practical. Yet, we
hope that the foundation, the vision here set forth remains part of the picture, remains the
ground and provides some of the attitudes, ways of thinking that are so essential.
The
way of complementarity is the best way into the conversation. And then in turn, in
conversation we reinforce and tune more carefully the way of complementarity.
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7. PRACTICAL SUGGESTIONS.
Sometimes we seem to fall accidentally into rich conversation. More often, we
talk and chat, and move on, without any great results, nor with great expectations. Can
the quality of our conversation be improved? How can we move to make the most of our
opportunities, so that the times when we have rich, satisfying conversations become more
frequent?
Not only is this important for our day in and day out living, but clearly it is
significant in our roles as adult Christians, as ministers of the gospel.
Authentic conversation is all too rare. Many factors come together to make it
possible. David Tracy tried to describe some of the elements of a successful
conversation:lxxx
Conversation is a game with some hard rules; say only what you mean; say it as
accurately as you can; listen to and respect what the other says, however different
or other; be willing to correct or defend your opinions if challenged by the
conversation partner; be willing to argue if necessary, to confront if demanded, to
endure necessary conflict, to change your mind if evidence suggests it.
An increasing number of books are available on the subject of communications.
Some of them are theoretical, and some of them more “how to” books. In this chapter I
will present some ideas, reflections, suggestions from recent writings, and from the
thought of St. Ignatius and some of his followers, on how we might improve the quality
of our conversation.
Listening
To listen carefully and attentively to another person is very difficult, yet
nevertheless all important. Experience shows that most of the time we hear only what we
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already know or what we want to hear.
one who carefully listens.
And yet very often the most useful person is the
This definition of listening shows how much is involved:
Listening is the active and dynamic process of attending, perceiving,
interpreting, remembering and responding to the expressed (verbal and nonverbal)
needs, concerns, and information offered by other human beings.
Each of the elements of this definition is worth unpacking, but we will highlight some
of the aspects of genuine listening.
To truly listen means not only listening with our ears, but watching with our eyes,
and even attending with our bodies. That is to say, by looking at the face, we sense
moods, pick up feelings, and decode non-verbal messages. To truly listen, we must pick
up the non-verbal signals that come from the hand, feet, breath, and voice. In this way
we listen with our whole person to the whole person engaged in dialogue with us. How I
nod, how I turn my body, all of these are in turn sending signals to the partner in
dialogue.
To truly listen means to be patient and sympathetic. . We often seem so eager to
speak. We are more eager to reply than to listen. And so instead of opening our minds
and hearts, we are busy thinking within ourselves of what we will say next, of how we
will respond. We can hardly wait for the other to finish telling his or her experience,
because we want to break in and tell of our experience.
Rather than trying to explain
to others, or trying to even convert others to our viewpoint, we must enter conversation
with the primarily goal of understanding others, and hence of listening to them. Listening
is the bridge, the only bridge, by which we enter into the inner world, the thoughts and
beliefs of others.
Empathetic listening means to get inside the others’ frame of reference, trying to
see the world the way they see it, trying to understand how they feel. It does not mean
that you necessarily agree with them, but it does mean that you do your best to deeply
understand them, intellectually as well as emotionally.
Very often, the other person is not looking for advice, but simply for a hearing.
Instead of listening carefully, we begin, prematurely to try to solve another’s problems -
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whereas the main problem is simply that he or she wants and needs someone to listen to
them.
Two final comments on listening. First is to recall the famous Presupponendum
of St. Ignatius. This is an instruction at the beginning of the Spiritual Exercises. It is
directed at the director, the one guiding the retreat as well as to the one making the
retreat. It aims at insuring that the communication, the listening goes well.lxxxi Ignatius
writes:
22. To assure better cooperation between the one who is giving the Exercises
and the exercitant, and more beneficial results for both, it is necessary to suppose
that every good Christian is more ready to put a good interpretation on another’s
statement than to condemn it as false. If an orthodox construction cannot be put
on a proposition, the one who made it should be asked how he understands it. If
he is in error, he should be corrected in all kindness. If this does not suffice, all
appropriate means should be used to bring him to a correct interpretation, and so
defend the proposition from error.
Ignatius wishes us to enter into a conversation with a positive, optimistic frame of
mind, and first listen, listen carefully. If there is something unclear or in error, only with
care, charity, and patience do we move to correct it, but the first route must be to clarify,
and to make sure we are correctly listening and understanding.
A second comment is to refer again to St. Ignatius, and some of his instructions
given to those going on mission, in this case, a mission from the Pope to send two Jesuits,
Broet and Salmeron to Ireland. We give excerpts from this instruction of St. Ignatius
“On Dealing with Others.”lxxxii
In all your dealings, be slow to speak and say little, especially with your equals
and those lower in dignity and authority than yourselves. Be ready to listen for long
periods and until each has had his say... In dealing with men of position or influence - if
you hope to win their affection for the greater glory of God our Lord - first consider their
temperaments and adapt yourselves to them. If they are of a lively temper, quick, and
cheerful in speech, follow their lead while speaking to them of good and holy things, and
do not be serious, glum, and reserved...
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Living With Silence
In our fast, bustling world, the virtue and place of silence seems to be losing out.
We are uneasy, embarrassed by it. We overcome it by speech, by talking without
reflection.
On the other hand, if I am more at ease with silence, and my conversation partners
are not, then I will most likely lose out, lose my chance for positive interaction. They will
seize the opportunity at every moment of silence and forge ahead, and I will be left to
myself in a more reflective mood, left behind in my silence.
Thus, there needs to be some mutual agreement or understanding on the need and
value and importance of silence in quality conversation. Note I say silence IN, and not
simply AFTER quality conversation. Moments of silence may in fact be crucial and
vital, and in fact the most uniting moments in conversation, as the participants quietly,
silently reflect on what has been said
The Art of Questioning
A fellow scientist once asked Isidore I. Rabi how he had become a scientist. Rabi
replied that every day after school his mother would ask him not what he had learned that
day, but “Did you ask a good question today?” Rabi explained that “asking good
questions made me become a scientist.”
Thomas Edison, scientist and inventor was
once asked how he knew so much. He answered that it was “by telling others that I didn’t
know and I wanted to know.”
A child learns much, learns quickly and continually, because it has the freedom
and courage and humility to keep on asking questions. Questions are necessary if we are
to grow in wisdom, if we are to contribute to the ongoing conversation. T. S. Eliot warns
us to “beware of the one who knows how to question.”
Jesus continually asked
questions of his disciples and his listeners.
grace of conversation.
The question is a key tool in the art and
For one reason, people like to be asked questions. While they like to acquire
knowledge, they like even more to impart it. They like to be considered an authority, and
asking a question is a mark of respect for the person you converse with. You value his or
her judgment and opinion.
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A question is a way not to end or finalize, not a way to show one-up-manship,
but a natural way to keep the conversation going. Instead of setting forth our views and
judgments in final, dogmatic statements, might it not make more sense to put them forth
in the form of a question, as possibilities, and thus invite a response, encourage the
conversation to go further.
There are many types of questions, many goals in asking
questions. Some questions seek clarification, some offer feedback on what has been
said, some are demanding and threatening, and some draw out new or further
information. It can be helpful to reflect on the type of questions we normally ask, and on
the technique we use.lxxxiii
Here are some examples:
What vs. Why Questions
The type of question we ask is also significant. For example, it is usually more
profitable to ask “what” rather than “why” questions. A “why” question may seem to
invade one’s privacy, one may feel judged or resented. “Why” questions connote
disapproval or displeasure.
They may not be experienced positively by the receiver,
because, intended or not, they tend to have a judgmental and accusing quality to them.
“What” questions are more affirming and less threatening. One is seeking information
rather than putting the receiver on the spot. The use of questions rather than the making
of statements can go a long way in the ongoing dialogue. Statements tend to generate
resistance, whereas questions generate answers. Rather than criticize, questions educate
Open vs. Closed Questions
An open question is broad, invites the listener to a wide possibility of answers,
solicits views, opinions, thoughts and feelings. It leaves the door open to further dialogue
On the other hand, a closed question limits the listener to a specific answer, usually
demands a cold fact. It may close the door, or keep it shut.
For example, a closed question would be to ask: “You like school, don’t you?”
An open question would be: “Some people like school, others don’t. How about you?”
Another form of the more closed question would be the “double question.” In this you
give two alternatives, and in a sense force the recipient to choose one or the other. For
example, in a double question we ask: “Do you want tea or coffee?” In a more open
question one would ask: “Would you like anything to drink?”
Direct vs. Indirect Questions
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This distinction is rather clear. An indirect question is closer to the open question,
and in fact it may not seem to be a question at all. A direct question would be: “How
does your new job seem to you?” While an indirect question would be: “I wonder how
the new job seems to you?” This might be more inviting and might result in a richer
response.
Can questioning be overdone? Surely. It might be used to manipulate, challenge,
and control the other. It can be a way to avoid sharing our own views and opinions, a
way to cover our ignorance. The tone of voice in asking questions is also significant.
Various types of questions can be utilized - for example questions that aim to clarify, that
paraphrase, that summarize, that explore or that support.
There is much wisdom in the saying attributed to Voltaire: “judge a person by his
or her questions, rather than by his or her answers.”
Focusing on the Issues
One of the difficulties in conversation is that often the debate turns to personalities,
and becomes as we say ad hominem. Instead of addressing the issue, we challenge the
authority, credibility, and wisdom of the speaker.
One should be prepared for this to
happen, but also know how best to overcome this.
If you are attacked personally, how should one respond? Resist the temptation to
defend yourself or to attack the other. A more creative and helpful response is to exercise
patience, listen to the other, and show that you understand what was said. Then, recast
their attack on you as an attack on the problem at issue. In a sense you agree with them
on the problem at issue, and try to explore the toic, perhaps in the form of a question,
that shifts the conversation from the personal attack to a revisiting of the issues, possibly
from a different angle.
Importance of the Setting
The physical setting for a conversation makes a difference. Sometimes, as you
enter a room, you can sense immediately if it is good for conversation from the
arrangement of table and chairs. A large space with only 2-3 persons filling it is not
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conducive. Comfortable chairs in which to sit, and seats where you can easily see those
you are conversing with. All of this may seem obvious. Again, preparation, foresight
make the difference. Where and how do you receive and entertain guests? What is the
shape of the dining room and the dining room table? So much conversation should occur
there and thus the shape should not be left to chance.
Small details, such as fresh air, lighting, flowers, wall hangings - in subtle ways,
all of these make a difference and set a tone. While taste and need and possibilities will
vary, good conversation, and the place or places for it is too important to be left to
chance.
Topics of Interest
Important in conversation is not just what you hear, what you receive, but what you
contribute. Here again, gifts vary, backgrounds vary. It is worth reflecting on what you
bring to conversation, the areas, interests, viewpoints. One can make oneself more
interesting by, for example, cultivating a hobby, some special interest, for example,
gardening, theater, sport. Without imposing this upon a conversation, there may well be
occasions and opportunities for introducing something about which you have some
interest, passion, expertise.
Until recently, in a rather mechanical fashion, Jesuits were urged to reflect
ahead on topics that they would bring to the conversation during times of recreation. We
have referred to the list of “Subjects of which Ours may talk in time of recreation.” This
was drawn up by Nadal,lxxxiv an early companion of St. Ignatius, and was read aloud
twice every year to Jesuits in formation. Of course the list of topics included the life of
Christ and the saints, the story of one’s vocation, of the virtues, and even “of the contrary
vices, except that contrary to chastity.” It concludes by recommending that we can
speak “Finally, of such things as may edify and unbend the mind - have little of
speculation and must of affection - are religiously agreeable and agreeably religious.”
Mechanical, overdone, yes, but it does point us to the importance of conversation and
indicates ways in which we can improve its quality.
It is also worth reflecting on what interests others. For example, a parent of a
young child or baby will most readily talk with you, share with you stories about that
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child. Other topics that usually provoke a good response, and may then lead to further
conversation and conversation with more substance, would be to ask about one’s health,
one’s politics or one’s recreations and hobbies.
Careful Use of Words
It is easy to fall into bad habits in our speech. Some have the distracting habit of
adding what are called “filler words” or boundary words, such as “ ur, um, er,eh”.
Some unconsciously add “y’ know” or “well” to almost every sentence. This can
become quite annoying and irritating, and above all distracting from what a person
intends to say. Here, courtesy and charity urge that we delicately inform a friend or
acquaintance if we notice this in their conversation. And somehow we should have the
courage to ask another if they note this in our own manner of speech. It may not be so
easy to correct these annoying habits, but the first step is to be aware of them in
ourselves, and to help others to be aware of them.
Another difficulty with words is our tendency to use and overuse absolutes when
they are not needed or intended. To an individual: “You are always late”. To a class or
group: “None of you has done his or her homework.” “Always, never, everything, all,”
these words are generalizations, and probably come across with negative vibrations,
come across as blaming others, and as going beyond the evidence. While they are trying
to make and emphasize a point, they are usually overdone, and have a negative effect.
Again, they distract and annoy, and turn off the person or persons to whom they are
addressed. There are better, more constructive ways of offering criticism.
An additional problem is that for true dialogue we need a common language. This
is not as simple as it seems. Words like “liberty”, “liberal”, “conservative”, and
“socialist”, to give a few examples, mean different things for different persons from
different cultures and age groups. We should be careful in using loaded words, and we
may have to take time in conversation to be sure that we have sufficient common
meaning to move ahead.
Finally, the connotation of words
enters into the effectiveness of our
conversation. Now we speak of politically correct language, which is constantly shifting.
We have also moved in a good direction when we speak, for example, of a mental
hospital rather than an insane asylum, a senior citizen rather than an old man. On the
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other hand, our words can also intentionally cover over harsh realities, when we say that
the pilot “delivered ordnance” rather than “dropped bombs.” The words we choose
make a difference, and we can well reflect back on, and look ahead to the words we use
in conversation.
Improving Your Voice
Can we be heard and understood, or do we mumble or speak too fast? Is our voice
interesting or monotonous? Do we have an accent that makes it difficult for us to be
understood?
Simple questions, and obvious, yet so important if we are to engage in
quality conversation.
Everyone can improve in this area, but it will take time and practice, and most likely
the input and help of others, possibly a speech class. Use of a tape recorder and/or a
video tape is another way to see and listen to yourself as others see you.
Enriching the Conversation Through Story
It has been said that the best way to the truth is through a story. In the Hebrew
bible, the prophet Nathan used the story to bring King David to the recognition of his sin
and to conversion. Much of the teaching, and indeed the conversation of Jesus was
through parables and stories. Is not one reason why his teaching has been and remains to
powerful?
A story, or even simply a proverb, an anecdote may be exactly what is needed to
advance the conversation. It gives a bit of a break, it might unite the conversation
partners in a gentle move forward. It sets one thinking. It may help to situate the issue
at hand in a larger context and enable us to view it from a fresh perspective. Then a more
creative solution might be found. To tell a story well is not automatic or easy. And to
have a resource of stories to tell will demand time and effort.
Review of Successful and Unsuccessful Conversations
Twice a day, Jesuits are to make a brief examination of conscience. This should
include looking back over events, actions, and words - thus conversations. The we
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should look ahead to the next day or half-day, and anticipate what we will face and
prepare ourselves to face the future. Ignatius believed deeply that “the unexamined life is
not worth living.” lxxxvJoseph A. Tetlow, S.J. “The Most Postmodern Prayer - American
Jesuit Identity and the Examen of Conscience, 1920-1990,” Studies in the Spirituality of
Jesuits 26/1 (January, 1994).
Does it not make sense to reflect back over conversations - both the good and the
bad, the successful and the unsuccessful. Might we not employ some of the criteria of
the discernment of spirits as presented by St. Ignatius. Thus, if a conversation involved,
resulted in or led to what Ignatius terms “consolation” then it was good. Consolation
here might mean that it built up (edified) rather than tore down, it left one enthused, with
new insight. If a conversation on the other hand involved or led to “desolation”, then it
should be questioned. Desolation here could mean empty, uneasy, dry.
What went right and why? What went wrong, and why? Simple questions, but
certainly worth asking of ourselves as we reflect back over conversation as an important
part of our life and ministry.
Planning Ahead
Sure, we can and have walked into excellent conversations. On the other hand, the
chances are better if one thinks and plans ahead. Who will I be with, what topics might
arise, what topics do I think should arise? How might I interest my conversation partner
or partners in what I am saying? What will be on their mind - from the news, from the
business, from their families - that they will be thinking about or concerned about?
Strategy or practical wisdom is not a bad way to describe this. One Jesuit was
famous, or indeed infamous for this, Baltasar Gracian. A book of his sayings is entitled
The Art of Worldly Wisdom,lxxxvi and it includes several hundred suggestions on how to
succeed in conversations and in relationships. Much of it sounds Machiavellian, much of
it is good common sense. Here are a few samples from his writing - suggestions
appropriate for our topic, namely quality conversation.
Know how to take a hint... The very truths which concern us most can only
be half spoken, but with attention we can grasp the whole meaning. When you
hear anything favorable, keep a tight rein on your credulity.
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Be careful in speaking. There is always time to add a word, never to withdraw
one.
Talk as if you were making your will: the fewer words the less litigation... He
who speaks carelessly soon falls or fails.
Know how to ask a favor. With some, the first word at all times is NO; with
them great art is required, and the propitious moment must be seized. Surprise
them when in a pleasant mood. It is not a good time after sorrow...
The very titles of some of his paragraphs of wisdom reveal more of Gracian’s
“worldly wisdom.” A few examples of these titles are:
When to Change the Conversation. Cultivate those who can teach you. Find out
each man’s thumbscrew. Think most of the most important things. Keep a store of
sarcasms, and know how to use them. Make a graceful exit. Never compete. Find the
good in a thing at once. Think beforehand. Have knowledge or know those who have
knowledge. Be the bearer of praise. Never act from obstinacy but from knowledge. Do
not always agree with the last speaker.
And finally, and in a phrase that is very close to the spirit of St. Ignatius, Gracian
says:
Use human means as if there were no divine ones, and divine as if there were
no human ones. A masterly rule: it needs no comment.lxxxvii
Conclusion
We speak of the art, grace, and skill of conversation. While admitting that some
by nature or by grade are more gifted and blessed, if the ability to converse is an art,
and especially if it is a skill, then it can be improved. If we begin with a firm conviction
on the significance of conversation, then it makes eminent sense to take time to reflect
upon, sharpen the skill. This skill comes into play in everyday life, and in the ministry
of the Church. Ultimately, conversation is a special way of showing care and love for
others.
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7.
CONCLUSION
As we move into the new millennium, it is impossible to predict what shape our
cities, hopes, cars, families will take in the coming years. We do know that change is
inevitable and that it has become progressively faster. Travel and communications have
shrunk the globe to almost instant access..
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One might imagine that everything is falling apart, everyone is going his or her
own way. Yet we also see that more and more, cultures previously separate and distant,
now mix and interact. We are all affected by, and ultimately linked together by the
airplane, the computer, television, the internet, and the satellite phone.
At the center, however, there remains the human person, the family, and the
community. All the data and information is shared among humans, and the basis and
prime analogate of all this is human conversation. Conversation are occasioned by
phone, fax, e-mail, television. Face to face conversations are more easily possible
because we can travel around to globe to meet clients, family, new or old friends.
Conversation, I trust and hope, will remain the constant. In the beginning was the word.
For those who believe that “the Word became flesh,” conversation takes on
deeper and richer meaning. Conversation is the way in which we come to know and
believe in Jesus, the Word made flesh, and conversation is a basic way in which we share
that saving knowledge with others.
Many recent developments in Christian ministry
call precisely for a more dialogical or conversation style of leadership, shared rather than
authoritarian, mutual rather than one-way, and personal rather than anonymous.
Leadership is based upon a deep respect for the gifts, talents, education, and faith life of
the laity. Leadership is based more on competency rather than on the power of office.
To be an effective minister of the Gospel today in this new emerging,
technologically sophisticated world - and all Christians are called to be such by their
baptism - the art and skill of conversation plays an increasingly important role. As H.
Richard Niebuhr reminded us, to train persons for church ministry is to “introduce them
to the conversation of church and world, a conversation in which both humility and selfassurance have their proper place.”lxxxviii
This statement accurately reflects the move made by the Roman Catholic Church
at the Second Vatican Council, especially in its “Pastoral Constitution on the Church in
the Modern World.” As that document states, the entire world with its hope and fear, joy
and anxiety, challenges and problems must be the concern of the Christian. The divine is
not distant, but found in the everyday. It is through our conversation with the world,
especially the world persons, that we seek and find the divine. With St. Ignatius Loyola,
we believe that we can and should serve and find God in all things. A truly incarnational
Christianity includes all reality in all its richness - nature, family, friends, business,
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events of the day and fears of the night. All these become grist for our lives as
Christians, indeed part of what we have traditionally, and perhaps too narrowly called
“the spiritual life.”
In view of these shifts in culture, and shifts in the nature of Christian ministry as it
responds to that culture, good conversation becomes every more necessary and desirable.
And I would add, becomes more possible if we put our minds and hearts to it.
Three Proverbs
The One who begins a conversation does not foresee the end
I would like to think that this applies on the micro and macro levels. On the micro
level, two friends conversing may end up discussing subjects they had no idea they
would touch upon. One person sharing a deep experience with another may well result
in a conversion of attitudes.
On the macro level, we do not know where the ongoing
conversation among scientists, world leaders is heading. Yet we do know and experience
with St. Augustine the restlessness, the relentless search that is part of the human psyche.
The challenge is not to cut off the conversation, but to entrust ourselves to it, with the
common faith that truth and goodness itself that are primary agents and goals of the
conversation.
Conversation is a Gift
Surely we have experienced this - the chance encounter that led to enriching
conversation, the phone call that led to conversation that helped a troubled friend.
What a conversation leads to, what might be resolved or faced, is not entirely in our
grasp. We must be open and responsive to the gift, to the magic, as it may or may not
be offered. At the same time, we have emphasized that it is in our power to foresee
opportunities, times, places, persons, where the magic of good conversation might more
likely occur. We have it in our power to contribute to, and improve the conversation
which we have entered into. True, conversation is a skill that can be nurtured, but perhaps
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more importantly, it is, as the proverb reminds us, a gift that should be graciously and
gratefully acknowledged and accepted.
Conflict is our actuality: conversation is our hope
These word of David Tracylxxxix express a deep truth. Bosnia, Africa, Northern
Ireland, New York City - all too often it is the story of conflict. Conflicts will arise, as
certainly as the sun will rise. Conflict by itself can be creative or destructive. To
overcome destructive conflicts, to assure that conflicts become creative of good, is only
possible if conflict flows into conversation. Otherwise the walls and barriers become
higher and thicker. Conversation will not automatically overcome conflict - peace
negotiations may take years and are not always successful. The Israeli-Palestinian
conflict continues. But where there is dialogue, there is hope. There is less likelihood of
armed conflict if the two sides are talking.
Friendships can be broken. Deepest
friendships bear within themselves the seeds of tragedy unless the two friends are open to
a power that is greater and purer than themselves. Yet as we know, broken friendships
can be healed. Through the miracle of dialogue, as we have often experienced, they can
be restored - and an even deeper level of friendship reached.
Three Concluding Images
“Dialogue”
On the campus of the University of Chicago is a life-sized outdoor sculpture. In an
abstract manner, it depicts two persons bending outstretched to one another in dialogue. It
is entitled simply “Dialogue”. The artist captures the beauty and truth of their dialogue,
as they lean to one another, share with one another, listen to one another. To show they
are united by their conversation, he surrounds their heads with a single, large halo. The
halo indicates to me the milieu of truth which envelops them, which they share in, and
which unites them as one in their conversation.
The Road to Emmaus
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This masterfully told story is found in chapter 24 of the Gospel of Luke. It is the first
Easter Sunday. But the two disciples on the road to Emmaus, downcast, are leaving
Jerusalem. Their salvation is that at least they were engaged in conversation, discussing
the events that had just occurred concerning the tragic death of Jesus.
Into this
conversation, fraught with despair, enters the third person, the stranger. Unknown and
unrecognized by the two disciples, he turns out to be Jesus. Conversation continues with
the stranger. He asks them why they are troubled, and he responds by interpreting the
Scripture for them. This conversation leads them once again to faith in Jesus Christ now present in their midst as Risen Lord. As so often, it leads to table fellowship as they
dine at the inn, and recognize Jesus at the breaking of the bread. But the gospel story
does not end there. The two disciples, now empowered by their new found faith in the
Risen Lord, rise up from the table and immediately set out in a new direction. This time,
they return to Jerusalem to share with the other disciples the Good News they have
discovered. The conversation concerning the Good News continues, and with it, the
conversion or turning to Jesus continues.
The Heavenly Jerusalem
In this final image we move with our imagination to the new heavenly city of
Jerusalem, as pictured in Isaiah 25 and Revelation 21. The new heave and new earth are
described not in the more abstract terms of the “beatific vision,” but in the more familiar
and conversational imagery of the banquet. In that new and eternal city we will be with
God and with one another at the table replete with the choicest food and drink. God will
be the host in our midst. In addition to wining and dining there must of course be the
enjoyable, refreshing, and interminable conversation with one another and with God,
concerning the magnificent deeds of God.
.
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i
The topic of conversation can be studied in a general manner under the heading of
human communications, or insofar as it is part of pastoral ministry. Examples of the
former would be: Stewart Tubbs and Sylvia Moss, Human Communication (New York:
Random House, 1974); Ronald Wardhaugh, How Conversation Works (Oxford:
Blackwell, 1985); Michael Purdy and Deborah Borisoff, eds., Listening in Everyday Life
(Lanham, Md: University Press of American, Inc., 1997); and Linda Ellinor and Glenna
Gerard, Dialogue: Rediscovering the Transforming Power of Conversation (New York:
John Wiley and Sons, Inc., 1998). For the place of conversation in pastoral ministry,
see Reuel L. Howe The Miracle of Dialogue (San Francisco: Harper and Row, 1984);
Heije Faber and Ebel van der Shoot, The Art of Pastoral Conversation (Nashville:
Abingdon Press, 1965).
ii
See Joseph Conwell, Impelling Spirit (Chicago: Loyola University Press, 1997) ,213216 for the use of conversatio in Christian Tradition, and the its use by Ignatius and his
companions. The Dictionnaire de Spiritualite article on “conversatio” shows its
development from the time of St. Benedict, and notes the shift from conversatio morum
to conversio morum.
iii
This is found in a BBC World Service programme guide, in an article on Alisdair
Cooke, entitled “Talking to the Typewriter.”
iv
Hans-Georg Gadamer, Truth and Method (New York: Seabury, 1975), 330-333.
v
See David Tracy, Plurality and Ambiguity (San Francisco: Harper and Row, 1987),
especially chapter I, 18-23.
vi
Richard Rorty, Philosophy and the Mirror of Nature ( Princeton: Princeton University
Press, 1979), 58.
vii
John Courtney Murray, We Hold These Truths (Kansas City: Sheed and Ward,
1960),13-15.
viii
George Steiner, Real Presences (Chicago: The University of Chicago Press, 1989),
140.
ix
St. Francis de Sales, Introduction to the Devout Life ( Garden City, N.Y.: Image Book,
1955).
x
Paulo Freire Pedagogy of the Oppressed (New York: Seabury Press, 1973), 77.
xi
Ibid., 78.
113
114
xii
St. Frances, op. cit, . 201.
xiii
Freire, op. cit.,. 79.
xiv
Pope John Paul II The Acting Person ( Boston: D. Riedel, 1979 ), 287.
xv
John Paul II, Sources of Renewal (San Francisco: Harper and Row, 1980) Part I,
Chapter 3.
An article by Gerald P. Fogarty, “The American Catholic Tradition of Dialogue,”
America Magazine, Vol. 175, No. 12 (October 26, 1996) discusses reactions to the
proposal of Cardinal Bernardin, and situates them in the context of the history of
Catholicism in the USA.
xvi
xvii
There are several translations of this important document. The two used here are St.
Ignatius’ Own Story (Chicago: Loyola University Press, 1956) translated by William J.
Young, S.J., and A Pilgrim’s Journey - The Autobiography of Ignatius of Loyola
(Wilmington, Del: Michael Glazier, 1985) translated by Joseph N. Tylenda, S.J.
xviii
This reference to Favre is found in Javier Osuna, Friends in the Lord (London: The
Way:1974), 48.
xix
This is cited in Osuna, , 58.
xx
Letters of St. Ignatius of Loyola (Chicago: Loyola University Press, 1959) 94.
xxi
Ibid., 96.
xxii
Ep. Ign. X, pp. 505 ff., as quoted in Ignis magazine, 1991:5.
xxiii
A recent study by Howard Gray, S.J. emphasizes the importance of conversation,
acting as the glue, in a successful formation program for Jesuits. He calls conversation
the instrumental cause of friendship. See his essay “Contemporary Jesuits as Friends in
the Lord,” in Review of Ignatian Spirituality, No. 89, pp. 41-55.
xxiv
This is found in Counsels for Jesuits (Chicago: Loyola University Press, 1985) 53,
edited by Joseph N. Tylenda, S.J. The entire letter, pp. 48-53, is worth reading.
xxv
Found in Letters of St. Ignatius of Loyola, 158.
xxvi
Ibid. 243.
xxvii
Letters of St. Ignatius of Loyola, 135.
xxviii
Ibid.,18-24. This is one of the earliest letters of Ignatius, and important for his
teaching on the discernment of spirits.
xxix
Ibid., 268-69.
114
115
xxx
Ibid., 444.
xxxi
This is cited in Thomas Clancy, The Conversational Word of God (St. Louis: The
Institute of Jesuit Sources, 1978) 31. It was originally from Maurice Giuliani in Christus,
no. 10 (1956) 176-77.
xxxii
The Constitutions of the Society of Jesus and Their Complementary Norms (St. Louis:
The Institute of Jesuit Sources, 1996). The numbers refer to the paragraph numbers of
the Constitutions.
xxxiii
See the Constitutions, No. 91-92.
xxxiv
These are found in Clancy, Appendix IV, 70-71.
“ “Spiritual Conversation” According to St. Ignatius of Loyola,” by Dario Restrepo,
S.J. in Communications, from the International Service in Ignatian Spirituality, Rome,
for February 1976, p.3.
Another helpful essay on the importance of conversation for
apostolic ministry is Ignacio Iparraguirre “La Conversacion como tactica apostolica de
San Ignacio de Loyola in Razon e Fe 160 (1959), 11-24.
xxxv
John O’Malley, The First Jesuits Cambridge, Mass: Harvard University Press,
1993), 110-114.
xxxvi
xxxvii
These are found in Clancy, Appendix III, 68-69.
xxxviii
Excerpts from these exhortations are found in Clancy, 52-56. . The reference here
is found on p. 52.
xxxix
Ibid. p.55.
xl
Peter Ribadeneira, S.J. Principles of Government of Saint Ignatius (New York: The
Catholic Publication Society Co., 1885), 31-2.
xli
Ibid. p. 44.
xlii
Ibid. 36-37.
xliii
The Spiritual Writings of Pierre Favre (St. Louis: The Institute of Jesuit Sources,
1996) 360. He wrote a long letter on How to Hear Confessions.
xliv
Ibid. 379.
xlv
This is found in Clancy, 53.
xlvi
From a letter of P. Broet that is cited in James Brodrick, The Origin of the Jesuits
(New York: Longmans, Green and Co.: 1952), 40-41.
115
116
xlvii
This text is found in The Way, Supplement 35 (1979), 18.
xlviii
The letter of Canisius is found in Clancy, Appendix II, 57-67. The reference here is
to page 59.
xlix
Ibid. 62.
l
Ibid. 65.
li
Ibid. 66-67.
lii
Ibid. 67.
liii
Ibid. 67.
liv
Restrepo, op. cit. 20.
lv
Robert Southwell, Spiritual Exercises and Devotions (London: Sheed and Ward,
1930), 53 and 40.
lvi
Constitutions, No. 694.
lvii
Kenneth L. Woodward, in Company Magazine, “As I see it,” Fall, 1991, p. 28.
lviii
John Padberg, “The Jesuit Question,” in The Tablet, 22 Sept. 1990.
One example of this would be Floyd Bresee, “How to be a dialogical preacher,” in
Ministry, May 1988, p. 22.
lix
lx
See the official introduction to the new Rite of Penance. In describing the role of the
priest, it emphasizes that he should know the penitent: “his state of life, his difficulties in
leading the Christian life, and anything else which may help the confessor in exercising
his ministry” (No. 16).
Raymond Brown, “‘Who do Men Say that I am?’: Modern Biblical Scholarship on
Gospel Christology,” Catholic Mind (June 1975), 21-33. For a theologian’s reflections
on the use and importance of models in theology, see Avery Dulles, The Craft of
Theology (New York: Crossroads, 1992). In particular, the third chapter “The Problem of
Method: from Scholasticism to Models,” treats this topic.
lxi
lxii
Two example of the use of the case method in the study of theology would be: Robert
A. Evans and Thomas D. Parker, Chrisian Theology: a Case Method Approach (New
York: Harper and Row, 1976) and Alice F. Evans and Robert A. Evans, Introduction to
Christianity: a Case Method Approach (Atlanta: John Knox Press, 1980).
lxiii
H. Richard Niebuhr, The Purpose of the Church and its Ministry (New York: Harper
and Row, 1956), 26-27.
116
117
See the essay of Sallie McFague, “The Theologian as Advocate,” in Theological
Education, (Spring, 1989) 79-97. In this very rich essay she relies on the work of David
Tracy (theology as conversation) and the philosopher, Richard Bernstein (truth as
conversation).
lxiv
lxv
McFague explains that many new voices must be included in this collegial
conversation (pp. 90-91). We will explore some of these voice in a later chapter.
lxvi
See the Introduction to the Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults which describes the
various stages of initiation, the ritual for each stage, and the many places and ways in
which the celebrant through his comments adapts the liturgical rite to the particular
persons or group of persons.
lxvii
See his Pedagogy of the Oppressed (New York: Seabury, 1973).
lxviii
On inculturation, see Robert Schreiter, Constructing Local Theologies (Maryknoll,
NY: Orbis, 1985); Aylward Shorter Toward a Theology of Inculturation (Maryknoll, NY,
Orbis, 1988): and Peter Schineller, S.J., A Handbook on Inculturation ( New York:
Paulist Press, 1990).
lxix
St. Frances de Sales, Introduction to the Devout Life, III, 26.
lxx
The extensive writings of Elizabeth Johnson, Anne Carr, Elisabeth Schuessler
Fiorenza, Phyllis Trible, Dorothee Soelle, Rosemary Radford Ruether, Sarah Coakley and
Maria Clara Lucchetti Bingemer come immediately to mind.
lxxi
There is a growing body of literature on this topic. A few examples would be:
Margaret W. Matlin, The Psychology of Women (Florida: Holt, Rinehart and Winston,
Inc. 1987); Mary Field Belenky et al., Women’s Ways of Knowing (New York: Basic
Books, 1986); D. Tannen, You Just Don’t Understand; Women and Men in Conversation
(New York: William Morrow, 1990).
lxxii
Sallie McFague develops various models for God, including God as friend, in her
book Models of God: Theology for an ecological, nuclear age (Philadelphia: Fortress
Press, 1987).
lxxiii
Anne E. Carr, “The Search for Wholeness,” Criterion (Autumn, 1984), 7.
lxxiv
Jon Sobrino, The True Church and the Poor (Maryknoll, NY: Orbis, 1984), 97.
lxxv
Gustavo Gutierrez, The Power of the Poor in History (Maryknoll, NY: Orbis, 1983),
92ff.
117
118
lxxvi
Sobrino, 93.
David Tracy, “Defending the Public Character of Theology,” The Christian Century
(April 1, 1981, p.355.
lxxvii
lxxviii
The idea of complementarity was touched upon in an essay, Peter Schineller, S.J.
“Inculturation as the Pilgrimage to Catholicity,” in Concilium No.204 (1989) 98-106.See
also Michael Amaladoss, Walking Together (Anand, India: Gujarat Press, 1991). He
writes on tolerance amid the pluralism of religions in India. It is interesting to note that
the theologian I.M.J. Congar refers explicitly to the thought of Niels Bohr on
complementarity in his book Diversity and Communion (Mystic, Ct.: Twenty Third
Publications, 1985), 74-75. Jon Sobrino, writing from Latin America, speaks of the
models of uniformity and pluriformity, and then suggest a model of solidarity to enhance
church unity and unity among religious traditions. See his book, The Principle of Mercy
(Maryknoll, NY: Orbis, 1994), 152-55. Finally, John Cobb adds to the models of
exclusivism, inclusivism, and pluralism, the model of transformation. See his essay
“Being a transformationist in a pluralistic world,” Christian Century (August 10-17,
1994) 748-51.
lxxix
See David Tracy, The Analogical Imagination (New York: Crossroads, 1981)
especially the final chapter.
lxxx
Tracy, Plurality and Ambiguity, 19.
For a contemporary study of the “presupposition” of Ignatius, and its value for cross
cultural communication, see Carl F. Starkloff, S.J. “As Different as Night and Day Ignatius’s Presupposition and Our Way of Conversing across Cultures,” Studies in the
Spirituality of Jesuits 28/4 (September 1996).
lxxxi
lxxxii
This detailed instruction is found in Tylenda, Counsels for Jesuits, 1-3. The entire
letter shows the attention of Ignatius to details, to non-verbal communication, and to the
importance of strategy in conversation.
lxxxiii
Questioning is an important part of interviews. For an exposition of different types
of questions, see, for example, the chapter on the question in Alfred Benjamin, The
Helping Interview (Houghton Mifflin Company, 1974).
lxxxiv
lxxxv
We already referred to this, as found in Clancy, Appendix III.
On recent development on the meaning and use of the examination of conscience,
see
lxxxvi
Baltasar Gracian, The Art of Worldly Wisdom (Springfield, Il.: Templegate, 1996).
This book has been translated into many languages and reprinted many times.
lxxxvii
This is No. 251, and it reflects strongly the mind of St. Ignatius.
118
119
lxxxviii
lxxxix
87. We have already referred to this quote of H. Richard Niebuhr. See note 63.
David Tracy, The Analogical Imagination, 363.
119