Essay Writing
13 / 38 Total
Name:
Introduction – Paragraph # 1
4
/7
Marks
Introductory sentence: 1 ( 1 Mark)
(The sentence should introduce the topic, grab the reader's attention, and it should be clear and concise in
the form of a statement or a question)
e.g.: What causes psychopathy?
The main reason why the government has increased airport security is because of the major event that
happened on September 11, 2001 when terrorists hijacked planes and flew them into the World Trade
Center and the Pentagon.
Transition information: 1 ( 3 Marks)
(Lead to your thesis: mention your topic and introduce the 2 opposing views)
Some sentence starters:
1) To understand ………(topic), one must consider different perspectives. OR
It is important to deconstruct the complexities surrounding the issue of ….. (topic).
2) For instance, …… OR
To explain …….(topic), one needs to pay close attention to ……(description of topic).
3) Some scholars argue that ….. . Conversely, others suggest that …… (this may be your antithesis).
e.g.: To understand a psychopath, one must consider different perspectives. For instance, is it nurture or
nature that is the primary factors in this antisocial personality disorder? Some scholars argue that it is due
to their upbringing, namely, the lack of caring and nurturing they received as a child. Conversely, others
suggest that it is due to genetic and structural dysfunctions, which means that people are born to be
psychopaths.
To understand why the TSA and the government increased security, you have to have patience and full
understanding why they’re doing it. For instance, why have we only been severely attacked once, in the
past eleven years? We have so much of a strong society and Homeland Security, that we’ve only been
attacked one devastating time. Some scholars argue that it is only Osama Bin Laden’s fault for everything
that has happened to our country. Conversely, others suggest that it is our country’s fault, and that they
think that their privacy is being invaded.
Thesis:
2 ( 3 Marks)
(This sentence needs to state the 'topic,' 'list of points,' and 'analysis' in ONE sentence)
Sentence starter:
This paper seeks to explain the issue of ….. (topic), by analyzing ……(list of points), all of which suggest
that …. (analysis).
e.g.: This paper seeks to explain the issue of psychopathy, by analyzing the general nature of psychopaths,
case studies of such individuals, and brain imaging studies, all of which suggest that psychopathy is a
matter of nature influenced by nurture.
This paper seeks to explain the issue of the TSA being so intrusive of people’s privacy, by analyzing the
way people’s attitudes are, and the way they handle the procedures of the security, all of which suggests
that we should come up with new procedures to protect our country.
Body Paragraphs - Paragraphs 2, 3, and 4:
Topic Sentence # 1
0 ( 1 Mark)
(The sentence needs to state the 'Topic,' your 'FIRST point' and 'Analysis' )
5 / 8 Marks
It can be argued that the cause of …(topic) is due to (point #1), which is important because … (analysis).
e.g.: It can be argued that the cause of psychopathy is due to certain characteristics in psychopaths, which
is in support the nature argument.
It can be argued that the cause of invasive security, is inconvenient because of 9/11, which is very
important because our country has been strongly protected ever since.
Supporting Evidence: (The sentences should clearly state evidence / facts)
2
( 3 Marks)
Some sentence starters are:
Stephenson (2001) argues that …
One researcher contends that…. (Lewis, 2002) .
However, Williamson (2004) suggests that……
A number of researchers agree that … (Stevenson, 2002; Howard, 2003, Levi, 2009).
Various suggestions/theories/ideas have been put forward to explain… (Stevenson, 2002; Howard, 2003,
Levi, 2009).
A number of researchers have attempted to explore… (Stevenson, 2002; Howard, 2003, Levi, 2009).
Studies of … have shown that…. (Stevenson, 2002; Howard, 2003, Levi, 2009).
Stephenson (2009) has summed up this basic point by stating that….
In contrast to Stephenson, some social scientists such as Crabtree (2010) have noted that….
Some statistical evidence highlights/demonstrates/clearly supports …… (Levy, 2009).
A number of researchers have attempted to explore about why airport security has been so invasive over the
years, (Mr. Noah Shachtman, 2010; Jordan Ellenberg, 2012; Mr. Hawley, 2012)
Studies of different procedures of security checkpoints, have shown that these three people, as well as
others, have many perspectives about our homeland security. Noah Shachtman(2010) wanted different
procedures, such as, different body scanners. He wanted that, because, a guy by the name of Mr. Negrin,
was teased because he had a small penis. Jordan Ellenberg(2012) researched on how to get a new way of
operating airport security checkpoints on a worldly scale, without making them so weak that opponents can
break it. Mr. Hawley(2012) researched about how TSA agents were over looking bomb parts placed in
peoples’ luggage and in different places on their body. He had studied how they were just focusing on the
little things, such as, lighters, guns and etcetera. Mr. Kip Hawley said that the TSA needed reforming, for
that occurrence.
Critical Analysis of Evidence that Supports Thesis: 2 ( 3 Marks)
(The sentences should clearly explain how the above facts are supportive of your analysis)
Some sentence starters:
This means that …..
In other words, …..
This evidence suggests ….
Another way to understand this issue is ….
This clearly proves that …..
This clearly proves that these three researchers are all vouching for airport security. They are on the
positive side of it. They only want to help make Airport fun and safer. Mr. Shachtman, Ellenberg, and
Hawley all have a positive perspective on how to make the procedures of going through security less
intrusive and more helpful and inobtrusive.
Transition Sentence: 1 ( 1 Mark)
(The sentence needs to vaguely summarize your main analysis and introduce, generally, your next point in
the following paragraph)
Sentence starter:
While … (point #1) is necessary to highlight the issue of …(topic), there are still others to consider.
e.g.: While the nature of a psychopath is necessary to highlight the issue of psychopathy, there are still
others to consider.
While terrorism is necessary to highlight the issue of overly intrusive security, there are still others to
consider.
Topic Sentence # 2: 1 ( 1 Mark)
(The sentence needs to state the 'Topic,' your 'SECOND point,' and 'Analysis')
2 / 8 Marks
Sentence starter:
The case of … (topic) can be understood in the context of …(point #2), which is significant because
….(analysis)
Eg.; The case of psychopathy can be understood in the context of examining case studies, which is
significant because it further supports the argument that it is nature that is most influential in creating the
psychopath.
The case of invading privacy frequently can be understood in the context of previous attacks made on our
country, which is significant because without those attacks being made, we wouldn’t have even thought
about making our Homeland security stronger and/or getting new machine, for example, the body scanner
and metal detectors.
Supporting Evidence: 1 (3 Marks)
(The sentence should clearly state evidence / facts)
Within the past 11 years, our Homeland Security has gotten better. We have bought many new machines
products, and not only that, we’ve got people who can track down weapons and other harmful tools that can
harm large amounts of people flying in and out of our country.
Critical Analysis of Evidence that Supports Thesis: 0 ( 3 Marks)
(The sentences should clearly explain how the above facts are supportive of your Analysis)
TSA agents and government often invade our privacy for safety reasons. Although our country is free and
equal, we have people who can and will ruin it for all Americans. Some choose to do that because of their
extremist religious views. They feel like they should commit suicide, which then leads to suicide, all for
‘their God’.
Transition Sentence: 0 ( 1 Mark)
(The sentence needs to vaguely summarize your main argument and introduce, generally, your next theme
in the following paragraph)
Sentence starter:
Thusly, one cannot disregard …. (point #2) when discussing … (topic), but …. (vague introduction of point
# 3) is equally important.
Thusly, one cannot disregard the fact that we have been attacked and still are, as we speak. When
discussing about a bomb or any other kind of weapon at the airport, you should know to keep it low, but
agents and other by-standers will look at you, as if you were a terrorist.
Topic Sentence #3: 1 (1 Marks)
1 /8
Marks
(The sentence needs to state the 'Topic,' your 'THIRD point,' and 'Analysis')
Sentence Starter:
One could contend that …(topic) cannot be fully understood unless one considers … (point #3), which
supports …. (analysis).
Eg.: One could contend that psychopathy cannot be fully understood unless one considers brain imaging,
which clearly supports the nature argument.
One could fight that being overly searched at an airport checkpoint unless one knows the history of why
their things are being searched, which points out that people need to consider gaining knowledge about
airports and the reason for having Homeland Security.
Supporting Evidence: 0 (3 Marks)
(The sentence should clearly state evidence / facts)
The government often invades our privacy, because of the things they were told to do and often, because
they actually want to keep our country safe.
Critical Analysis of Evidence that Supports Thesis: 0 (3 Marks)
(The sentences should clearly explain how the above facts are supportive of your Analysis)
Therefore, in this case we shouldn’t fight against our government and homeland security, because they are
the ones help us, and no one else can get us through the procedure any safer.
Concluding Sentence of last body paragraph: 0 ( 1 Mark)
(Summarize the argument including topic, THIRD point, and analysis at the end)
Sentence starter:
This …. (point #3) uncovers the issue of … (topic), which is important because ….(analysis)
The reason for fighting against our government uncovers the issue of our country being terrorized.
Concluding Paragraph – Last paragraph:
1 / 7 Marks
Restatement of Thesis: (This sentence needs to restate, IN DIFFERENT WORDS, the 'Topic,' ‘List of
points,' and 'Analysis' in ONE sentence)
Sentence starter: 0 (3 Marks)
In sum, this essay examined the concept of …. (topic) by evaluating …… (list of points), which
demonstrate …. (analysis).
Eg.; In sum, this essay examined the concept of psychopathy by evaluating the mental state of a
psychopath, real-life examples of psychopaths, and recent neuroscientific explanations of the brains of
psychopaths, all of which demonstrate clearly that a psychopath is born and not made.
Next few sentences: (These sentences will summarize all of your points and their analysis = argument)
In sum, this essay examined the concept of people all over the United States, complaining about overly
invasive security by evaluating terrorism, invading privacy frequently, and fight against government, all
demonstrate how badly our country needs Homeland security and how we are in danger of being attacked
severely, once again.
Some sentence starters: 1 (3 Marks)
While some scholars suggest …. , others contend ….. .
Statistical data clearly proves that ……
It is crucial to pay close attention to …. , in order to understand the complexities of ….. .
While Some scholars suggest the Homeland security is just being invasive, others contend that it is benefitial to
society. Statistical data clearly proves that the TSA is actually ‘helping’ our country. It is crucial to pay close
attention to all the things that are going on in Islamic cities around the world, in order to understand the complexities
of homeland security in our Nation.
Last statement – 1 or 2 sentences: 0 ( 1 Mark)
(This sentence should NEVER disprove your argument, instead leave the reader with a solid hook-liner
that convinces them that your perspective is the right one! These may be statements or questions and even
statistics to really drive home your point of view – analysis!)
e.g.: It is estimated that psychopaths occupy only 20% of American prisons, yet they commit 50% of all
heinous crimes (Cooke, Forensic Science); for this reason it is crucial to try to understand the causes of
psychopathy in order to live in a safer world. If there is a clearer understanding, then there is better
treatment and if most agree that psychopaths are biologically different from everyone else then the cure will
not be to nurture them back to normalcy but to medicate them and essentially alter their previous
dysfunctional brains.
On an online survey, It is estimated that only 1.2% of Americans think that the TSA is doing an Excellent
job protecting the country, yet there is an awful amount of Americans, 8% who say the TSA is doing a
good job. For this reason, it is crucial to understand why we have raised the rate of intrusive searches and
aggressive pat downs. This is all for the benefit of a safe environment and nation in general. If there is clear
understanding to why America has done all of this, then there is a better chance of procedure changes. But
now, for as long people attempt to attack us, the more aggressive security will be, and the more invasive it
will get.