Essay #2
Information
First illness
-civil war and chaos tore Egypt apart
- climate changes
-causes less rain, so the Nile flood waters were low  crops died  starvation hung over Egypt
-the people felt that pharaoh failed them:
-they considered the pharaoh as a god and expected him to control the forces of nature
-people began to doubt his authority
-poor harvests, lawlessness, and warfare plagued to region
Middle kingdom
-improvement, especially in farming
-the Nile’s flood waters were extremely unpredictable
-irrigation projects
-increased farming
-more land for farming
Second illness
-the Hyskos invaded Egypt
-civil war broke out and caused the Hyskos to come and take over
-the Egyptians hated them
-they learned new things from them:
-bronze
-chariots and horses
-weaving
New kingdom
-great pharaohs built an empire
-4 great pharaohs:
-hatshepsut- the diplomat
-thutmose III- military
-ramses- building
-akhenaton- religion
Outline
Introduction paragraph
a. describe the old kingdom and 1st illness briefly
-Old kingdom was a time of pyramid construction and Egypt thrived
-followed by the 1st illness which was a period of civil war and chaos
b. briefly describe the one event you chose from each
-the Middle kingdom and New kingdom were both times of improvement and flourishing
-the 2nd illness was a time of weakness and invasion from the Hyskos
-the glue of all three periods was the desire to improve
c. Thesis statement
- The Middle kingdom, second illness, and new kingdom were “glued” together through their
desire to improve, especially with irrigation projects, the Hyskos, and (pharaoh). This created
optimism for Egypt even during hard times.
Detail paragraph #2
a. Middle Kingdom summary
-irrigation of the Nile waters:
-led to more farming
-more land for farming
-able to use the Nile even more (the nile was the center of life)
nd
b. 2 illness summary
-Hyskos invaded Egypt
-the Egyptians hated them
-however, they did learn from them
-bronze
-chariots (horses)
-weaving
c. New Kingdom summary
-time of driving out enemies
-great pharaohs built a great empire (*choose one*)
1. Hatshepsut- diplomat
2. Thutmose III- military
3. Akhenaton- religion
4. Ramses II- building
d. analysis that:
1. explain
-all periods of optimism
-the middle kingdom:
-more farming allowed the kingdom to thrive and become wealthy
-people could express themselves and come up with new inventions which helped the
kingdom grow
-2nd illness: Hyskos helped them learn new things and foster a sense of unity against a
common enemy
-New kingdom:
-(discuss the pharaoh you choose)
-egypt became a wealthy and powerful empire
2. tie and point to your thesis
-their hard times united them in a common goal and they used their hard times to
motivate them to thrive
-the Egyptians picked up the pieces of their kingdom after each illness  improving and
prospering raised its hope and confidence
-all three time periods all had the desire to improve to thrive
-this created optimism, even through hard times like 2nd illness
Detail paragraph #3
a. how this applies to today
- middle kingdom: new inventions to improve daily life and rebuild their crushed kingdom
-2nd illness: feelings of unity and learning from others
-america should feel united and learn new things, like living frugal but happy
-NK: (discuss your pharaoh)
-America isn’t thriving right now and is in a lot of debt  America needs some motivation to
thrive and flourish again
-American’s morale and confidence is low as people lose their jobs and tighten their budgets
-we are in our own “illness” right now- the economy is in chaos and turmoil
b. analysis that:
1. Explain
-everytime there was hard, dark times, Egypt pulled out stronger than before
-america should embody the same principle
2. Tie and point to your thesis
-optimism shows through the patterns of Egyptian history of improving no matter what
-thriving and improving created optimism for Egypt and would raise America’s morale and
confidence
-this would create optimism for Americans which is needed during these hard times as the
economy fails
c. a brief conclusion
-The Middle Kingdom, 2nd illness, and New Kingdom’s glue, the desire to improve, brought their
kingdom together, showing that even through the hard times it brought optimism to Egypt.
Essay #3
New Kingdom Pharaohs
Hatshepsut
“the diplomat”
*glue = trade/wisdom*
-just got rid of hyskos: ready to thrive and succeed
-concentrated on trade and administration
-not concentrated on military and war
-ex: trading expedition across red sea to punt
-carved on her funeral temple
-brought back myrrh, frankincense, ebony, ivory, and leopard skins
*had extensive knowledge of the area
-brought wealth and power to Egypt without violence
-people didn’t have to die or get hurt for Egypt to get wealth and power
-more trade helped them explore new cultures, instead of destroying cultures
-opposing thutmose III:
-hatshepsut accomplished wealth and power without violence
Thutmose III
“the military guy”
*glue =
*
-concentrated on war and military
-strong army
-15 victorious invasions
-made Egypt a mighty empire
-it controlled land around the nile and more
-made Egypt wealthy
-all the different cultures he conquered contributed goods to the empire
-different cultures in one empire brought Egypt new ideas as well as material goods
-when Egypt was the wealthiest and most powerful
-defeated eventually by the Hittites
Akhenaton
“the religion guy”
-challenged egypt’s religion
-he created his own religion
-he thought the sun god, “aton”, was the only true god in the universe
-did everything he could to convert Egyptian religion from polytheism to monotheism
-tried to get rid of all other gods, especially Amon, god or air, wind, and breath of life
-he had people smash the temples of Amon
-changed his name from “Amonhotep” to “Akhenaton”, which means “he who serves Aton”
-created new capital called “Akhetaton”, which means “the place of aton’s power”
-many Egyptians refused to abandon their religion and secretly worshiped other gods to defy his laws
Ramses II
“the builder”
-created 2 temples:
-the giant temple to Amon
-massive temple at Abu Simbel
-he decorated his temples with gigantic statues of himself
-not as skillfully built as the old kingdom buildings
Last Election Issues
-the economy
-ramses II, hatshepsut
-war in Iraq and Afghanistan
-thutmose III
-foreign policies
-hatshepsut, thutmose III
-healthcare
-hatshepsut, ramses II
-strengthening our country’s defense
-thutmose III
Outline
Introduction paragraph
a & b. A brief roadmap
-many different pharaohs in the new kingdom built an Egyptian empire
-[explain different pharaohs]
-Thutmose is the military pharaoh who achieved power and wealth by fighting and
conquering.
-Hatshepsut is the diplomatic pharaoh who increased trade to gain wealth and power.
-Akhenaton was very religious and let his religious beliefs to govern his powerful empire.
-Ramses II built many temples which helped build the empire’s power and wealth too.
-Last election, many different candidates ran for president.
-Some key issues in last year’s election were the economy, the war in Iraq, health care, and
foreign policy. (only mention the issues that will apply to your pharaoh)
c. Thesis statement
Pharaoh name
-The New Kingdom pharaoh ____________
would win my vote for the 2008 presidential
(militaristic,
diplomatic,
building, or religious)
election because of his/her ____________________________qualities
which would help them
rebuild America as an empire, especially issues like_________ and _________.
diplomatic, building, or religious)
Pharaoh name
-______
___Scan use the (militaristic,
______________________
______strategies that they used to build
the Egyptian empire to rebuild America’s economy
-opposing thutmose III:
-hatshepsut accomplished wealth and power without violence
Detail paragraph #2
a. Hatshepsut
-Egypt had just got rid of the Hyskos: they are ready to thrive and succeed
-She concentrated on trade and administration
-She did not concentrated on military and war
-She made a trading expedition across red sea to punt
-carved on her funeral temple
-brought back myrrh, frankincense, ebony, ivory, and leopard skins
*had extensive knowledge of the area
b. analysis that:
1. Explain
-brought wealth and power to Egypt without violence
-people didn’t have to die or get hurt for Egypt to get wealth and power
-more trade helped them explore new cultures, instead of destroying cultures
2. tie and point to your thesis
-Hatshepsut’s trade could help America become well liked
-She was a strong leader who doesn’t concentrate on war, so she would be able to bring new
cultures to America
-trading with other countries would allow us to learn about their cultures
c. Thutmose
-concentrated on war and military
-built a strong army
-15 victorious invasions
-made Egypt a mighty empire
-it controlled land around the nile and more
-made Egypt wealthy
-all the different cultures he conquered contributed goods to the empire
-defeated eventually by the Hittites
d. analysis that:
1. Explain
-different cultures in one empire brought Egypt new ideas as well as material goods
-his rule was when Egypt was the wealthiest and most powerful
2. tie and point to your thesis
-different cultures in one empire brought Egypt new ideas as well as material goods
-his rule was when Egypt was the wealthiest and most powerful
-nobody wanted to try and oppose Egypt because they were so powerful
e. Ramses
-created 2 temples:
-the giant temple to Amon
-massive temple at Abu Simbel
-he decorated his temples with gigantic statues of himself
-not as skillfully built as the old kingdom buildings
f. analysis that:
1. explain
-Ramses’ new buildings increased egypt’s wealth
-egypt now looked like a mighty empire which increased others respect for them
2. tie and point to your thesis
-America is in a very depressed state right now due to the economy and other issues
-ramses’ building techniques would create jobs for people as construction workers
-his magnificent buildings would raise America’s morale
Detail paragraph #3
a. Issues in the United States
-the economy is in a recession  people are extremely depressed
-people are losing their jobs
-the war in Iraq and afganistan is still going on
-america isn’t on the best terms with other countries
b. analysis that: (Hatshepsut)
1. Explain
-hatshepsut could use trade to build our economy back up
-she could create jobs by sending people overseas to trade
-she could help finish the war peacefully and help us get on good terms again
-trading with other countries would help America create good relationships
2. tie and point to your thesis
- (sum up the information above to talk about how it relates to your thesis)
- for example: Hatshepsut is very diplomatic which is what this country needs right now…
c. a brief conclusion
-Hatshepsut could solve most of America’s problems because she doesn’t think about the
military ways. She thinks about trading and administration, and wants to encourage culture.
America needs a president like her because she will also be able to rebuild our economy and
make America wealthy and powerful again.
b. analysis that: (Thutmose III)
1.
Explain
-thutmose could use his military experience to win the war in Iraq and afganistan
-he could help raise our countries morale by finishing the war  the money going towards the
war could them be used towards the economy
- he could help America create jobs by building a strong army at home here in America  he
could help raise our countries defensive line
2.
tie and point to your thesis
- (sum up the information above to talk about how it relates to your thesis)
- for example: Thutmose III’s military strategies is exactly what this country needs right now…
c. a brief conclusion
-Thutmose could solve most of America’s problems because his thinking is militaristic.
-He thinks about how to overcome struggles, and could overcome the economy.
-America needs a president like him because he will also be able to gain respect for America and
make America wealthy and powerful again.
b. analysis that: (Ramses)
1.
Explain
-Ramses could build new buildings to build our economy back up
-he could create construction jobs by creating new building projects
-he could raise America’s morale by making America beautiful
-seeing all of these new buildings would make the American people happy and hopeful
2.
tie and point to your thesis
- (sum up the information above to talk about how it relates to your thesis)
- for example: Hatshepsut is very diplomatic which is what this country needs right now…
c. a brief conclusion
-Ramses could solve most of America’s problems because he thinks about constructing new things
and making them magnificent.
-he wants to encourage culture, and he would help make America respected
-America needs a president like him because he thinks about how to build beautiful structures, so
he could also be able to rebuild our economy and make America wealthy and powerful again.