Slate.com Table of Contents five-ring circus Explainer's Olympics Roundup five-ring circus ad report card You Did Not Shoot Rainbows Out of Your Butt. Five-Tenths Deduction. Ads We Hate five-ring circus Advanced Search The 2008 Olympics architecture five-ring circus Instant House The Olympics Sap-o-Meter assessment five-ring circus McCain's BFF Dispatches From Beijing books five-ring circus What's Wrong With Environmental Alarmism The Silver Lining bushisms five-ring circus Bushism of the Day The Olympics Sap-o-Meter chatterbox five-ring circus Mary Matalin, Publisher "Why Not Just Use Beavers?" culture gabfest five-ring circus The Culture Gabfest, Twilight of the Idols Edition Down With the Perfect 10! dear prudence five-ring circus Fertile Family Secret The Sap-o-Meter Widget did you see this? five-ring circus Policeman's Poor Showing The Olympics Sap-o-Meter dispatches five-ring circus Travels in the Former Soviet Union The Olympics Sap-o-Meter dispatches foreigners A Terror Tour of Israel Al-Qaida at 20 dispatches foreigners Notes on Fashion Week The Dissident Within dispatches gearbox Dispatches From Fashion Week Shrimp My Ride election scorecard green room Election Scorecard Paparazzi in the Woods explainer hot document Why Are Georgia and Georgia Both Named Georgia? How To Picket Tropic Thunder explainer human guinea pig The Afterlife for Scientologists Spandex Fantasy explainer human nature Why Do Fencers Shriek? Olympic Inflation family human nature No One Likes a Cheater Ghosts in the Machine Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC 1/140 jurisprudence the chat room C.S.Oy What's So Funny? map the candidates the green lantern He's Not Skiing What's the Deal With Offshore Drilling? medical examiner the has-been Organ Failure Bush Owes to China medical examiner the undercover economist Alternative Universe The Wisdom of Crowds? movies today's business press There's Something About Robert Downey Jr. Inflation Nation poem today's business press "A Bristle of Wings in the Ivy" Greenspan Bites Back politics today's business press 82 Days and Counting Banky Panky politics today's business press The Lives of Barack Obama Andrew Cuomo, Market Savior press box today's business press Conventional Nonsense China Beats the United States reading list today's papers To Your Health The Caucasus Bog shopping today's papers Easy on the Eyes Midnight Plane to Georgia slate v today's papers Poor Kobe's Olympic Dream Message Received slate v today's papers Damned Spot: Obama Is Rubber, McCain Is Glue Russian Roulette slate v war stories Why Blackface? Lonely Night in Georgia slate v well-traveled Dear Prudence: My BFF Won't Let Me Date! Eco-Touring in Honduras technology well-traveled An Army of Ones and Zeroes Baseball, Dominican-Style technology well-traveled The Google Black Hole The Mecca of the Mouse technology xx factor xxtra The Death of Planned Obsolescence Unnecessarily Evil the browser Going Dark the chat room After the Affair Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC ad report card Ads We Hate 2/140 The most annoying commercials in the universe. By Seth Stevenson Monday, August 11, 2008, at 6:50 AM ET The slogan on Greyhound's most recent ad campaign: "There's a reason you've never heard of 'bus rage.' " A clever line, extolling the alleged laid-back nature of bus travel. Two problems. 1) I myself have experienced "bus rage"—every single time I've ridden a bus. 2) The ads went up just in time for the occurrence of what must be the absolute worst case of bus rage in history— an incident in Canada in which a Greyhound passenger beheaded his seatmate with a knife and then began "hacking off pieces of the victim's body and eating them." If you hadn't heard of bus rage before, you have now! Which brings us to the topic at hand: another edition of the "Ads We Hate" mailbag. Yes, it's Ad Report Card readers' chance to sound off on commercials they love to detest. Commercials so bad, they deserve to be murdered and eaten. I'll get things started with one of my own recent unfaves: the Lincoln Financial Group spots in which people's older, future selves travel back in time to offer guidance. In one, a man is sitting on a plane preparing for takeoff when suddenly his wrinkly future self takes the adjacent seat, looks over, and commends his younger self for saving money by flying coach. After some anodyne advice about the importance of financial planning, the future dude stands up to leave. "Where are you going?" the younger man asks his elder self. "Back to first class; we can afford it now," smiles the older him. So many problems here. First, the passenger manifest would show two people with the same Social Security number boarding the flight. TSA red flag! But more important: The plane would explode the instant the old man sat down. We all know that meeting a past/future incarnation of ourselves will cause a violent rip in the space-time continuum. And finally: Screw you, future me! You think you're better than present me? It's crowded back here, and there're babies crying! So cough up the first-class ticket, gramps, or I buy a yacht and drain your nascent retirement accounts. Yup, I'll be paying the penalty for early withdrawal, too. We'll see who's smug then! But wait, there's an even worse Lincoln Financial spot: A woman is waiting in a hospital hallway, her husband apparently in grave danger, when she meets her future self. "How's he doing?" asks the supernatural visitor, and the woman replies that she doesn't know. The future her then launches into an earnest lecture about the importance of good investing. ("We have a plan to help grow and protect our money throughout our life.") Only at the very end of this speech does she casually tack on the information that, oh, by the way, the husband will be fine. So if you knew he'd be fine, why'd you ask? And how dare you make that poor woman sit through a pitch for a brokerage firm before Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC revealing the fate of her husband. Yeesh, future lady. Way to bury the lede. Ah, it feels good to get that off my chest. Now let's pass the hate bong around to my readers. Take a nice big hit and then let it all out: The most frustrating ad I've seen in awhile is the one from Chase touting the fact that users can check their credit card information via text message—while shopping for a 70" HDTV with the Queen song that goes "I want it all, and I want it now!" blaring in the background. It seems irresponsible to suggest that you ought to be out spending thousands on a TV if you don't even know about how much debt you're carrying around. The ad must be effective, since it's still on the air, but I saw it again recently and noticed that the dialogue has changed. The original starts off with the wife/girlfriend saying to the man, "You're right, we need a new TV." In the current version, she has a second line, delivered from off-screen: "Just don't go overboard." I confirmed this today while watching a two-monthold TV recording that contained the original commercial. —Brian M. Lots of mail about this Chase spot. Many readers noticed the added line, and I did, too. It seems the "I want it all" ethos may have felt spot-on at the time of the ad's conception but didn't quite fit the national mood as the economy began to implode. Perhaps Chase can keep tweaking the spot as conditions change on the ground. Fall 2008: "You're right, we need a new TV. The big one you bought a few months ago was repossessed." Spring 2009: "You're right, we need a new TV. The littler one you got last fall was stolen by a gang of unemployed financial services executives—they've been looting the neighborhood for food and valuables." Winter 2010: "You're right, we need a new TV. We can watch it from our underground bunker while hiding from marauding animals and zombies." I especially enjoyed your article about inappropriate musical choices in television commercials. On that note, I wonder if you've seen this spot for Wishbone salad dressing, which uses the song "Bump" by Spank Rock. Sure, they didn't use any of the lyrics, but I have to wonder why they'd create an association between "delicious vinaigrette dressings" and one of the filthiest songs I've ever heard. —Noreen T. Well, the ad does say they're changing "everything" about salad dressing. I'd argue that "Bump" is the perfect soundtrack to accompany that mission. Why shouldn't a vegetable vinaigrette conjure sentiments like "You get it from behind, in just Chanel pumps"? For their next ad, I suggest they use "Toss My Salad," by underpublicized genius Filthy Sex Toy. (Given Filthy Sex Toy's graphic lyrics, I must sternly warn you that what you will 3/140 see should you click on that link is in no way safe for work. And yet I must also stress that fabulous entertainment awaits beyond.) ad truly was. They should make a new ad, but this time the husband can berate his wife for being a mindless spendthrift. I wonder if Suzanne is helping to pay the mortgage. Don't know if you've caught the ad with the tennis game run amok from the Ladders, but it's truly awful. There's a wellgroomed, patrician-looking fellow trying to play tennis when a pack of undesirables invades the court. They're sloppy and crude. Some are clearly minorities and, worse than that, many of them are chubby. Unfortunately, they changed the last line of the ad from "the premium job site with only 100k-plus jobs and only 100k-plus people" to "only 100k-plus jobs and only 100k-plus job-seekers." It was perfect when they didn't mince words about the site's clear feeling that some folks are just better than the unwashed masses and shouldn't be asked to travel the same crowded byways, even on the Internet. —Sean F. —Michael M. This ad for an online, high-end jobs listing site features another re-edited voice-over. Before the change, the ad was off-thecharts offensive. After the change, it's still pretty outrageous. They should have at least made the protagonist a woman or Asian or something. As it is, the ad seems to boast that the Ladders offers its services only to fit, attractive, well-bred white men. And don't get me started on the notion that some of us are inherently "100k-plus people." What happens when we quit our law firm jobs to volunteer in a soup kitchen? Do we become zero-k people? Or is the 100k-plus designation written into our superior DNA? What's up with those incredibly crappy Nintendo DS ads? (You know, the ones with random celebrities making grunting noises while they play a game—long shots with no dialogue, or action, or sense.) —Kareem E. I'm a huge fan of the DS. You haven't lived until you've played Tamagotchi Corner Shop. But I agree: The ads are bizarre. Generally, an endorsement from a popular young celebrity is supposed to make the product on offer seem cool. This campaign somehow manages to turn the tables, making celebrity itself look pathetic and solitary. Consider the Liv Tyler spot, which shows her doing Brain Age quizzes alone in her room. Wow, glamorous! I wish I could be just like Liv Tyler, sitting around by myself ... doing math ... (Also, she's just a terrible actress here—scrunching her lips, knitting her brow, and emitting strange, glottal warblings. Though, come to think of it, that's a fair description of her performance in Jersey Girl.) Given the complete meltdown of the real-estate market caused by buyers purchasing homes they could not afford, I think it would be great to revisit how horrible and nasty this Century 21 Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC This ad may turn out to be a lasting artifact of the housing bubble, appearing as an illustrative clip in documentaries decades from now. I hated the spot—which features a wife bullying her husband into buying a house—when it came out in 2006. At this point, I mostly just find it comical. (Though I'd note that I'm a renter.) I imagine the hectoring wife and her appropriately cautious husband are feeling the pinch right about now as their rate adjusts. Meanwhile Suzanne, their enabling Realtor, is going to night school in pursuit of a new career. I remembered you comparing "Vince wit Shamwow" to Billy Mays, and thought you might enjoy seeing Mays' new spiel, selling health insurance. —Andrew L. This ad is kind of amazing. Watch Billy Mays' hand gestures— they never stop! Hands go out, palms facing each other. Hands come back in, fists balled. Hands go back out, index fingers extended. It's either OCD or some sort of primitive sign language. I think it's happening because he has no tangible product to demonstrate. They should have let him use a sheaf of insurance documentation to wipe up spills with. Or maybe a wallet card for dabbing on grout? OK, I suppose that's enough hate for now. But you can always express your rage—or adoration, or puzzlement—via e-mail to adreportcard@slate.com. I'll be taking a short break from the column (my future self advised me to take a vacation), but my able replacements will field all your rants and queries. Advanced Search Friday, October 19, 2001, at 6:39 PM ET architecture Instant House Would you buy a home that was made in a factory? By Witold Rybczynski Wednesday, August 13, 2008, at 6:58 AM ET Click here to read a slide-show essay about "Home Delivery," 4/140 a new exhibition of prefabricated housing at the Museum of Modern Art. assessment McCain's BFF Lindsey Graham may be more valuable as McCain's running buddy than as his running mate. By Melinda Henneberger Thursday, August 14, 2008, at 12:46 PM ET John McCain and South Carolina Republican Sen. Lindsey Graham have logged so many miles together, in nearly a decade of buddy-movie-style campaign road trips, that the conservative blogs call Graham "McCain's Mini Me." (And "Grahamnesty," in a swipe at McCain's immigration plan, and—because seventh grade is forever—"Senator Dramatic Chipmunk." ) Their policy differences are imperceptible, and when they switch positions, they tend to do that in tandem also, as when they simultaneously dropped their opposition to offshore drilling. On a personal level, they share a sense of humor based on insult—think George W. Bush, only funny—an interest in military history, and a history in the military. Yet in other ways, Graham is not only an unexpected BFF for McCain but his opposite, as fluent in the emotional realm as the presidential candidate is flummoxed. Graham has a facility with language and a dexterity in expressing feelings that the older man simply lacks. Which is why, as McCain's Mouth and running buddy, Graham is as important to the presumptive nominee as any official running mate. Their bond dates to the 2000 presidential campaign, when Graham chose McCain over Bush—one asked for his support, the other didn't—then jumped on the bus with him and basically never got off. After McCain lost the nomination, he and Graham kept right on campaigning for Republican congressional candidates all over the country. During one of those trips, which I went along on, Graham was leafing through the Victoria's Secret catalog he'd brought with him, and McCain was mocking him for leafing through the Victoria's Secret catalog he'd brought with him. After Graham stopped looking at girls in push-up bras, he raised the topic of abortion with me, out of nowhere, and started an incredibly serious philosophical discussion about ensoulment and moral gray areas—easily the most earnest and gut-level conversation I've ever had with an elected official. It went on for a while and got so deep I had kind of forgotten McCain was sitting across from us until the plane started to land, at which point I looked over and saw that he was mortified by all the heavy talk and, quite possibly, by the entire topic: "Profiles in courage here, looking out the window,'' he said, acknowledging his discomfort. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Graham consistently expresses McCain's sentiments better than McCain himself can. If you want a lousy interview with McCain, ask about his wife—not for any lack of feeling, I suspect, but for lack of words about feelings. His old-school way of expressing affection? If he likes you, and you work for him, you're an "incompetent jerk''; if he likes you, and you're a bunch of reporters writing down his bons mots, it's "What do you want, you little jerks?''; and if you're a kid who's just asked about his age, and he wants to show that sure, fine, he likes you anyway, it's "Thanks for the question, you little jerk. You're drafted.'' This is not to say he isn't emotional; on the contrary, as one former Clinton administration official recently told the Washington Post: In "the many, many years that I've been in Washington, John McCain is far and away the most emotional politician I have ever met. … People don't understand that, so they keep talking about his temperament, his temper. He reacts emotionally, therefore unpredictably." But while McCain's outpourings of feeling sometimes take him places he really shouldn't go, Graham's tend to be better targeted—and often unleashed on McCain's behalf, in an emotional vocabulary McCain doesn't have. (Here he is on Meet the Press, throwing his hands in the air and his heart into the debate over the troop surge in Iraq—yet keeping calm in comparison with his jousting partner, Jim Webb.) Maybe some of his E.Q. comes from growing up in a bar; Graham's folks had a little neighborhood beer joint in Central, S.C., and the family lived in the back. "I've heard every story and then some,'' he once said. "And I've heard 'Satin Sheets to Lie On and Satin Pillows to Cry On' a thousand times. … [I]t was a great place to learn about life. I had wives call up wanting to know if their husband's there and I'm answering the phone at 9 years of age. And I'd say, 'Well, he said he isn't here.' So I learned the hard way about a little bit of diplomacy." Both of his parents died when he was in college, and he eventually adopted his teenage sister—an experience of nurturing that few college boys would be up for. After law school, also at the University of South Carolina, he served in Germany in the Air Force (and still serves in the Air Force Reserves). On his return to South Carolina, he hung out his shingle and, as a trial lawyer, made a pretty good living off his ability to wield emotion. He financed his first political run with some of his winnings from a multimillion-dollar award in a medical malpractice case. He won that race, went to the state legislature in 1992, came to Congress in the Gingrich Revolution of 1994, and rose to national prominence just a few years later, when he served as a House manager of the impeachment proceedings against Bill Clinton. Sometimes Graham makes his points with charm, other times with venom. On Fox News Sunday recently, expertly playing to the audience's emotions—which, as we should know by now, is how elections are won—he viscerally appealed to Hillary voters 5/140 by suggesting that Obama thinks of them as a bunch of racists: "We're not going to run a campaign like he did in the primary, [that] every time somebody brings up a challenge to who you are and what you believe, 'You're a racist.' That's not going to happen in this campaign." Graham says he has no interest in the vice-presidential nomination, anyway—or in being attorney general—or anything at all other than to stay exactly where he is and help McCain from the Senate. But if McCain is elected, he'll wield enormous power there as First Friend. Of course, Obama himself has never said such a thing—and had he muttered it under his breath in the third grade, we surely would have heard about it by now. Graham, on the other hand, has made blanket accusations of racism; last year, he thundered to a Hispanic audience, "We're gonna tell the bigots to shut up"—a remark that caused quite a ruckus among the conservative opponents of immigration-reform legislation he was referring to. books Though many Senate colleagues see the McCain-Graham relationship as a father-son connection, no 52-year-old son would so willingly play sidekick. Graham was literally knocked to the ground by a bunch of photographers trying to get to McCain on their visit to Israel in April. "I almost dislocated my knee, and John is screaming, 'Get up! Get up!' " he told Politico. "Apparently, my fate in life is to be instructed." Yet he doesn't seem to mind, and is more deferential than any official running mate I can remember: "If I make his day better by being someone he can talk to, confide in, have a good laugh with, I am honored to play that role. I enjoy his company." And vice versa, obviously. But what else does Graham get for his loyalty and service? Publicity, for one thing: He's in every shot—like this one and this one (and this, too; that's him, holding the Dalai Lama's other hand). Graham is also up for re-election this year and has not been subtle about bragging that his closeness with McCain will benefit South Carolina if his friend wins the election. "If he gets to be president, South Carolina's interests will have a receptive audience due to our relationship," Graham told the AP. When it comes to the McCain veepstakes, then, wouldn't Graham seem to be an obvious front-runner? With his military background, foreign-policy cred, regional appeal, and efficacy as a surrogate, you'd think so. But as the New York Times so delicately phrased it: "Mr. Graham is a single man—is that still a challenge to be on a national ticket?" A: Yes, it is, even if that wasn't really Graham in his underwear in GQ two years ago; the image was Photoshopped, and in the accompanying article, Graham shrugged and said, essentially, Nah, I'm not gay, just a lonely dude workaholic with no personal life, other than couch surfing chez McCain or with a female aide and her husband, whom he's known since high school. His lack of a wife briefly seemed to be at issue during his 2002 Senate race, when the state Democratic chairman, Dick Harpootlian, called him "a little too light in the loafers to fill Strom Thurmond's shoes." (Later, Harpootlian pleaded light in the head, saying he didn't know that was an anti-gay slur.) Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC What's Wrong With Environmental Alarmism How to mobilize, but not paralyze, the public with fear. By Annie Murphy Paul Tuesday, August 12, 2008, at 7:05 AM ET Remember Alar? If you were in the vicinity of a television in the spring of 1989, it's likely you do. Alar was a potentially cancercausing chemical sprayed on apples, brought to public attention by a high-profile report on 60 Minutes. I was in high school then, and I vividly recall the pictures of bright-red apples, suddenly sinister, on the evening news and the swift disappearance of the fruit from crisper drawers and lunchroom trays, whisked away as if by a magic spell. In fact, the fate of Alar-tainted apples was decided by a savvy piece of public relations. The Natural Resources Defense Council offered the producers of 60 Minutes an exclusive look at its report on potentially carcinogenic pesticides in exchange for the promise of a feature story. From the NRDC's list of 23 chemicals, the news program chose to focus on Alar for the simple reason that it made a good story. Apples, kids, cancer: Predictably, mothers were soon pouring bottles of apple juice down the drain, and growers were promising to stop using Alar on their crops. 60 Minutes and the NRDC had effectively used public panic to fill what they viewed as gaps in government regulation. In a time of waning will and dwindling resources for such regulation, the emotional reactions of consumers are increasingly deployed to remove dangers, real or perceived, from the environment. This year's signature scare has featured bisphenol A, a chemical commonly used in plastics. When media reports linked BPA to an elevated risk of cancer and to alterations in behavior and brain function in animals, a collective howl went up from parents all over the country. As a story, BPA went Alar one better: Here were potentially toxic chemicals in baby bottles. Even as officials from the Food and Drug Administration assured consumers that BPA posed little risk, Wal-Mart declared that it was phasing out baby products containing the substance, and the manufacturer Nalgene announced that it would remove BPA from its popular sport bottles. 6/140 But the most compelling story isn't necessarily the most accurate or important one. In the case of Alar, subsequent research indicated that the chemical may not have been so dangerous after all. And what happened to the other 22 chemicals on the NRDC's list? Who knows? As for BPA, the baby-bottle panic of 2008 may also have been overblown. Public outrage can force swift change, but it's a blunt instrument, poorly suited to evaluating the many potential risks we face. It relies not on sober analysis but on visceral alarm, especially about the most vulnerable in our midst, children. How to move the public to necessary action while at the same time conveying the often-numbing complexities of environmental hazards? That's the dilemma confronting Poisoned Profits: The Toxic Assault on Our Children, a new book that argues that thousands of environmental chemicals are wreaking havoc on the health of American children. Its authors are Philip Shabecoff, who was for 14 years the chief environmental correspondent for the New York Times, and his wife, Alice Shabecoff, who is a freelance journalist and former executive director of the National Consumers League. The Shabecoffs would seem to have the complexity part covered. In 368 exhaustive, and exhausting, pages, they document "the toxic assault on our children," who are exposed daily to pesticides, car exhaust, waste-site runoff, and industrialplant emissions, as well as to chemicals found in consumer goods like cleaning products, cosmetics, and clothing. Such exposures, they claim, have led to a steep increase in the incidence of serious childhood illnesses like asthma, autism, and cancer. "What is happening to our children as a result of toxic substances in the environment is criminal," they declare. The Shabecoffs structure their account like a legal case, issuing indictments, marshalling evidence, and naming victims, perpetrators, and co-conspirators. The result, however, is less John Grisham and more of a court reporter's transcript: fact upon fact, piled so punishingly high that readers may feel they should be paid by the hour. The sheer accumulation of detail is enough to overwhelm but not quite enough to persuade. Some crucial connective tissue is missing: the links that would prove, or at least strongly indicate, a cause-and-effect relationship between particular chemicals and specific illnesses. We read, for example, about a toddler named Jobori Montgomery who has asthma and about a teenager named Justin O'Neill who died of a rare brain cancer. Both lived near the oil refineries and petrochemical plants of Port Arthur, Texas—a relationship that is suggestive but hardly definitive. Causation in such cases is notoriously difficult to demonstrate, and the Shabecoffs don't really try; instead, they bridge the gap with fist-shaking rants against the evils of the chemical industry and vague, grandiose calls to "rethink our economic priorities" and "reinvent the American community." Their rhetoric leaves the reader with the paralyzing sense that danger lurks in every Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC corner, without providing even the fleeting relief of pitching some newly identified threat in the trash. In a bow to what Poisoned Profits clearly wishes to be, its last few lines quote from Rachel Carson's 1962 classic, Silent Spring. Carson's book, of course, is the ultimate example of storytelling as agent of change: Her eloquent parable of despoiled nature has been credited with launching the modern environmental movement, and it helped lead to the 1972 government ban on the pesticide DDT. The Shabecoffs' invocation of Carson prompts a question very pertinent to their own endeavor: How did she pull off that feat, and is it possible—or even desirable—to replicate her achievement, almost half a century later? Carson's considerable ability as a stylist and her status as a secular saint (she died of cancer just two years after Silent Spring's publication) tend to obscure what made her book such a devastatingly effective vehicle for her then-unfamiliar views. Carson had a fine eye for observation and a fierce passion for the natural world, but she also had a talent for managing information for maximum impact. Silent Spring offers not just lovely language and appalling anecdotes (though it has plenty of both); it also provides us with a conceptual framework and a set of priorities, a way to think about the issues it raises. Carson carefully filtered out inessential detail, writing in a compressed style that has the spare authority of Scripture or a great play. "Chemicals sprayed on croplands or forests or gardens lie long in soil, entering into living organisms, passing from one to another in a chain of poisoning and death," she wrote. "Or they pass mysteriously by underground streams until they emerge and, through the alchemy of air and sunlight, combine into new forms that kill vegetation, sicken cattle, and work unknown harm on those who drink from once pure wells." She embedded sharp details in a sweeping structure that had the inevitable, irresistible force of allegory. The book opens with a vision of an American town seized by a toxic blight: "There was a strange stillness. The birds, for example—where had they gone? Many people spoke of them, puzzled and disturbed. The feeding stations in the backyards were deserted. The few birds seen anywhere were moribund; they trembled violently and could not fly. It was a spring without voices." And she gently but insistently implicated all of us in the damage that was being wrought. Describing a ground squirrel grotesquely contorted in death from the spraying of a poisonous insecticide, she asked: "By acquiescing in an act that can cause such suffering to a living creature, who among is us is not diminished as a human being?" At the book's end, the reader feels not resigned but invigorated, filled with a bracing desire to put things right. It's true that Carson had the advantages as well as the burdens of a pioneer: Her book was borne along by the adolescent energy 7/140 and the moral clarity of a new movement. Following in the tracks of Silent Spring, the Shabecoffs traverse less virgin intellectual territory. Compared with poisons like DDT and aldrin, another banned pesticide, current environmental threats are subtler in their effects and less susceptible to confident conclusions about cause and effect. An entire industry of influence and spin has arisen, far more sophisticated than in Carson's day. (Her critics in the chemical industry reached for the stereotype closest to hand, calling her shrill and hysterical— charges that withered on contact with her stern prose.) Scientists, with their cautious statements and careful parsings, are often little help to the activist, as the Shabecoffs note with dismayed surprise. And the public, though more aware of environmental issues, has grown jaded in the face of constant alarms. Still, the Shabecoffs' task is essentially the same as Carson's was: to make sense of the world and what we've done to it, to give us the lay of the land and a clear path forward. To do so in a way that compels both thought and action, without oversimplifying or sensationalizing, was Carson's great gift—a gift that looks rarer and more necessary with each passing season. bushisms Bushism of the Day By Jacob Weisberg Monday, August 11, 2008, at 2:34 PM ET "I'm coming as the president of a friend, and I'm coming as a sportsman."—On his trip to the Olympics in China, Washington, D.C., July 30, 2008 Got a Bushism? Send it to bushisms@slate.com. For more, see "The Complete Bushisms." . . chatterbox Mary Matalin, Publisher When political hacks edit books. By Timothy Noah Wednesday, August 13, 2008, at 7:04 PM ET Jerome R. Corsi has written a book about Barack Obama Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC cleverly titled The Obama Nation: Leftist Politics and the Cult of Personality. The book is published by Threshold Editions, Mary Matalin's imprint at Simon & Schuster. It "was not designed to be, and does not set out to be, a political book," Matalin sniffed to Jim Rutenberg and Julie Bosman of the New York Times. Rather, it is "a piece of scholarship, and a good one at that." Corsi holds a doctorate in government from Harvard University, and the book's cover highlights Corsi's academic credential with the byline "Jerome R. Corsi, Ph.d." But Corsi, a staff reporter for the hard-right World Net Daily and co-author of Unfit for Command: Swift Boat Veterans Speak Out Against John Kerry, a 2004 hit job published by the hard-right Regnery, maintains his scholarly posture with some difficulty. In his off-hours, Corsi calls Arabs "ragheads" and Bill Clinton an "anti-American communist" on Internet message boards. Susan Estrich is "Susan Estrogen" and Katie Couric is "Little Katie Communist." In the past, Corsi's fellow conservative, Debbie Schlussel, has even accused Corsi of plagiarism (though, to be fair, this looks to me more like garden-variety theft, i.e., taking an idea and some facts from another columnist without extending the usual courtesy of a citation; a minor offense in journalism, if not in academia). Why did Corsi write The Obama Nation? Was it in disinterested pursuit of scholarly truth? Er, not exactly. "The goal is to defeat Obama," he told the Times. "I don't want Obama to be in office." I haven't read The Obama Nation. But both the Times and Media Matters for America, a liberal watchdog Web site (and the source of my above links to "ragheads," etc.), cite multiple errors in the book. Ordinarily, when an author or an editor discovers errors in a book's text, he or she arranges to correct them in the next printing. I've done this myself. But neither Corsi nor Matalin responded to e-mails from me asking whether they intended to correct any errors in The Obama Nation—it would be a miracle if there were none. In the Times, Corsi brushed aside the Media Matters critique because of its politics. Now, I yield to no one in my skepticism regarding the veracity of Media Matters' chief executive officer, the former right-wing hit man David Brock. But Media Matters operates on the principle of transparency, providing links and video clips necessary to assess its claims of falsehood. Sometimes the claims hold up; sometimes they seem like a reach. Most of its findings concerning The Obama Nation are unassailable. For instance, Obama either has or hasn't stated publicly when he stopped using marijuana and cocaine. According to Corsi, he hasn't. According to Obama's memoir Dreams From My Father he has. "I stopped getting high" when he was an undergraduate at Columbia, Obama writes. The Times further notes that in 2003, Obama told the State Journal-Register of Springfield, Ill., in response to a question about drug use, "I haven't done anything since I was 20 years old." When the Times confronted Corsi with this information, he changed the subject from his book's obvious error to what he deems the unreliability of self-reporting on 8/140 matters of drug use. Which, of course, was entirely beside the point. Rogen and his new film, Pineapple Express; and the death of comedian Bernie Mac. All this raises the question of whether the world of "conservative" publishing, which includes not only Matalin's imprint at Simon & Schuster but also Random House's Crown Forum and Penguin Group USA's Sentinel, aspires even to the standards of the nonideological (or what conservatives call the "liberal") publishing establishment, which are nothing to write home about. What I've learned about The Obama Nation suggests it does not. What the hell is Mary Matalin doing running a publishing imprint in the first place? She is a professional propagandist, a political operative who learned her craft at the feet not of Maxwell Perkins but of Lee Atwater. Truth is not what she's about; campaigns are, and for Matalin, The Obama Nation would appear to be just another campaign. This isn't to say that, through her Threshold imprint, Matalin is subverting Simon & Schuster's pursuit of profit to partisan ends. Quite the contrary. Simon & Schuster and the other big publishing houses have started conservative imprints, at arms' length and with noses held, because they recognize them to be a gold mine. The Obama Nation, the Times reports, will debut on its best-seller list this Sunday at No. 1. But part of the deal, clearly, is that conservative imprints aren't required to adhere to the same standards of truth as the grown-up divisions. If an Erwin Glikes or even an Adam Bellow is available to edit your conservative fall list, fine. But in a pinch, a Mary Matalin will do. It's what George W. Bush memorably dubbed the soft bigotry of low expectations. The conservative movement has won the publishing houses' attention but not their respect. Does it even care? Here are links to some of the articles and other items mentioned in the show: The official Web site of the 2008 Beijing Olympics. Slate's Olympics Twitter feed. Slate's Olympics Twitter feed, explained. Dana's review of Pineapple Express. The Pineapple Express Web site. The Original Kings of Comedy, which featured Bernie Mac's strongest stand-up. The Bernie Mac Show, which featured the watered-down TV version. The Culture Gabfest weekly endorsements: Josh's pick: badminton at the Olympics. Dana's pick: Mahmoud Darwish's book of prose poems, Memory for Forgetfulness: August, Beirut, 1982. Stephen's pick: Isaac Hayes' albums Hot Buttered Soul and Black Moses. You can reach the Culture Gabfest at culturefest@slate.com. Posted by Amanda Aronczyk on Aug. 14, 2008 at 3:58 p.m. July 31, 2008 Listen to Culture Gabfest No. 13 with Stephen Metcalf, Dana Stevens, and Julia Turner by clicking the arrow on the audio player below: culture gabfest The Culture Gabfest, Twilight of the Idols Edition Listen to Slate's show about the week in culture. ByJosh Levin, Stephen Metcalf, and Dana Stevens Thursday, August 14, 2008, at 3:58 PM ET Listen to Culture Gabfest No. 14 with Josh Levin, Stephen Metcalf, and Dana Stevens by clicking the arrow on the audio player below: You can also download the program here, or you can subscribe to the weekly Culture Gabfest podcast feed in iTunes by clicking here. In this week's Culture Gabfest, our critics discuss the Beijing Olympics and "The Redeem Team"; too-famous-too-fast Seth Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC You can also download the program here, or you can subscribe to the weekly Culture Gabfest podcast feed in iTunes by clicking here. In this week's Culture Gabfest, our critics discuss Joss Whedon's new Web-only musical miniseries Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog," Starbucks' abrupt move to shutter a number of its stores in the United States and abroad, and Google's newest challenger in the search field, Cuil. Here are links to some of the articles and other items mentioned in the show: The new Web miniseries from Buffy the Vampire Slayer creator Joss Whedon, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. The pre-eminent Joss Whedon Web community, Whedonesque. The Guild, another Web series (preferred by some Culturefest 9/140 gabbers) . Eulogies from Slate readers for some of the 600 U.S. Starbucks stores set to close. Taylor Clark's Slate piece explaining how Starbucks actually helps mom-and-pop coffeehouses. The new search engine Cuil. Slate's reader contest: Figure out the best questions to ask Cuil, or any other search engine, to gauge its strengths and weaknesses. The Culture Gabfest weekly endorsements: Julia's pick: Curtis Sittenfeld's forthcoming novel American Wife, a fictionalized portrait of Laura Bush. Dana's pick: Carla Bozulich's album Red Headed Stranger, a song-by-song remake of Willie Nelson's classic concept album. Stephen's pick: Haven in a Heartless World, by American historian Christopher Lasch. Posted by Matt Lieber on July 17 at 10:45 a.m. The Culture Gabfest weekly endorsements: Julia's pick: the Boggle-like Facebook word game Prolific (Facebook login required). Stephen's pick: Scottish novelist Philip Kerr's Berlin Noir trilogy. Dana's pick: WWII-era singer Jo Stafford, as heard on WNYC's Evening Music, hosted by David Garland. Posted by Matt Lieber on July 31 at 10:59 a.m. July 17, 2008 Listen to Culture Gabfest No. 12 with Stephen Metcalf, Dana Stevens, and Julia Turner by clicking the arrow on the audio player below: You can also download the program here, or you can subscribe to the weekly Culture Gabfest podcast feed in iTunes by clicking here. In this week's Culture Gabfest, our critics discuss the new Batman movie The Dark Knight, The New Yorker's cover depicting Barack and Michelle Obama as anti-American mujahideen, and the mysterious relationship between Madonna and Alex Rodriguez. Here are links to some of the articles and other items mentioned in the show: The Dark Knight Web site. The New Yorker cover depicting Barack and Michelle Obama as anti-American fist-bumpers. Jack Shafer's critique of the members of the press fretting about the corrupting power of the cover. Christopher Beam's confession that in a roundabout way, he might be the one who gave rise to the cover in the first place. The New York Times' Bill Carter's piece asking why comedians have such trouble making fun of Obama. Us Weekly's take on the A-Rod-Madonna liaison. The New Yorker's explanation of how Kabbalah figures in. Madonna's history with '80s slugger Jose Canseco. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC July 2, 2008 Listen to Culture Gabfest No. 11 with Stephen Metcalf, Dana Stevens, and Julia Turner by clicking the arrow on the audio player below: You can also download the program here, or you can subscribe to the biweekly Culture Gabfest podcast feed in iTunes by clicking here. In this week's Culture Gabfest, our critics discuss the re-release of Liz Phair's feminist indie-rock masterpiece Exile in Guyville, the media's semihysterical reaction to news of a "pregnancy pact" among teenage girls at a high school in Gloucester, Mass., and the death of comedian George Carlin. Here are links to some of the articles and other items mentioned in the show: Liz Phair's Exile in Guyville. New York magazine's culture blog Vulture interviews Liz Phair. Meghan O'Rourke's 2003 critical re-evaluation of Liz Phair. Liz Phair's response. Time magazine's original report on the "pregnancy pact" at a Gloucester, Mass., public high school. Time follows up. Christopher Caldwell considers the political dogmas at play in the Gloucester story. George Carlin, RIP. Jerry Seinfeld remembers George Carlin. Cullen Murphy explains why flight attendants really talk like that. The Culture Gabfest weekly endorsements: Julia's pick: Listener Robin Winning's song of the summer, "That's Not My Name" by the Ting Tings. Dana's pick: Stephen Colbert's green screen challenge: Make John McCain interesting. Stephen's pick: The greatest song of any summer ever, the Rolling Stones' "Miss You." 10/140 Posted by Matt Lieber on July 2 at 6:02 p.m. this is a secret, and having a chance to vent your feelings might help you release them. —Prudie dear prudence Dear Prudence Letter: My BFF Won't Let Me Date! Fertile Family Secret I found out my mom was an egg donor. Now I fear she loves my half-siblings more than me. Thursday, August 14, 2008, at 6:59 AM ET Get "Dear Prudence" delivered to your inbox each week; click here to sign up. Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com. (Questions may be edited.) Dear Prudence, I am a college student who has been fortunate to grow up in a wonderful, loving family, and I'm very close to my parents and younger siblings. Recently, when I commented about an article I was reading on sperm donation, my mother disclosed to me her decision several years ago to have her eggs harvested and given to an infertile couple who were friends of the family. I was devastated by this news. That family conceived triplets with my mother's eggs, and I have met the children on many occasions. My mother insists that those children are not "her kids" and that she simply helped her friends become parents. My father is the only other person in our family who is aware of the situation, and the other family now lives in a different state. On one hand, I love her even more for such a selfless act, but on the other I feel upset by this news. Am I ridiculous for feeling intensely jealous and heartbroken? She is my and my full siblings' mom, and I don't want to know anything about these half-siblings. How can I get rid of the disdain I've developed for these children and erase the fear that she loves them as much as (or more than) me? —Jealous and Confused Son Dear Jealous, There you were, innocently enjoying your life, and your mother had to shove in your head not only the image of her eggs being harvested and fertilized, but the knowledge that the result was Huey, Dewey, and Louie. But try thinking of it this way: Your mother donated a microscopic bit of herself to allow this other couple to start their family, and that was the end of her involvement. The other woman spent nine months pregnant with triplets, gave birth to them, and she and her husband are now raising them far away. Your mother is right not to consider herself this threesome's mother, and you shouldn't, either. You say you are torn because, as angry as you are, you also admire your mother's selflessness. Try, when thoughts about this come up, to focus on your mother's generosity, not on your jealousy. But if you stay emotionally stuck, go to your college counseling service to talk about this. Your burden is compounded because Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Dear Prudence, I recently moved into a condominium. In the unit across from mine is a young female, close to my age, who had put a cozy little bench into the common area in the breezeway. I have since installed a storm door on my front door, and I have to open it out into the patio in order to open my interior door. The position of the bench is straddling the wall between our two front doors—it is difficult for me to open my storm door and access the lock to my other door. So, I moved her bench 2 inches toward her door, which allows my storm door to fully open. Each day, she moves it back. It could not be inconveniencing her in any way for it to be 2 inches closer to her own door. One day, I decided to test her to make sure I wasn't imagining things. I slightly moved her bench as usual and left my storm door open, in hopes that she would realize why I must move her bench. When I came home, she had shut my storm door and returned her bench to its original location! Should I leave it and be inconvenienced to avoid causing ill will? Or should I tell her to get her bench the hell off my side of the wall and put it by her own door? —Waiting With Red Masking Tape Dear Waiting, Knock on her door one night with a smile on your face and a bottle of wine in your hand and tell her you're sorry you haven't introduced yourself. Assuming she lets you in, say you wanted to talk to her about making the breezeway comfortable for both of you. Do you want to smile and give her a bottle of wine? No, you'd rather hogtie her and have her watch while you chop her beloved bench into cordwood, but we're talking about the best way to end this tug of war before hostilities escalate. Go outside with her and show her that because of your storm door, you have to bang into her bench to get in your place. Ask if she'd mind moving her bench—tell her it's very pretty—back a couple of inches so you don't damage it. Either she'll agree, or she's a nut. If you conclude she's a nut, be grateful you're not going through life that way and decide it's probably better to live with this slight inconvenience than engage in an endless border skirmish. —Prudie Dear Prudence, My husband and I live three miles from where I work, and with gas prices increasing, I want to buy a Vespa scooter for the commute. My husband is convinced that riding a scooter anywhere in our town is nothing short of suicide; a friend of his died in a motorcycle accident when he was younger. (His friend 11/140 had been drinking prior to the crash.) Based on this experience, my husband wants to show me every scooter accident since 1990 on YouTube. I'm not proposing riding at night or on the fourlane roads or interstates. The route to work is mainly on neighborhood streets where the top speed is about 35 mph. My husband's "compromise" is for us to buy scooters after we are retired and living at the beach because he'll be able to ride with me. But retirement is about 25 years away, and we don't even own a beach house. I feel like my life is being constrained by his fear. Am I wrong here? —Scooter Mama looking around now for stores where you can put in an application. You're right that this likely isn't personal: You happen to work for an insecure bully, and he finds you gratifyingly vulnerable. Work up your nerve and request a meeting with him. Emphasize that you enjoy the job and have learned a lot from him. Then explain that when he criticizes you so fiercely your performance suffers. Ask him if he can temper his tone so that you can learn better. Definitely rehearse this conversation with a friend, who can role-play being a jerk. Perhaps he'll have a little more respect for you for standing up for yourself. Probably he'll just keep after you. But you will know you did what you could before you had to find another job. Dear Scooter, Appreciate that while you find your husband's objections to be overbearing, it is also utterly endearing that he is so concerned about keeping you in one piece. I'm with him in sharing a terror of motorcycles, but I have a petite neighbor in her late 50s who I have to admit looks adorable tootling around town on her scooter. You're right, waiting 25 years is no compromise. Tell your husband the compromise is no highways, no going faster that 35 mph, and no riding late at night. Once he sees how much money you save on gas, he might even start fighting you in the morning over who gets to drive the Vespa to work. —Prudie —Prudie dispatches Dear Prudence, I'm in my early 20s, and I recently began working at a pet store. I love the job—the work is interesting, I'm good at it, the money is decent, my co-workers are friendly, and the customers love me. I could easily see myself working here for several years. There's only one problem: I'm terrified of my boss! He's very strict and hypercritical, and sometimes he can be downright nasty. I'm not used to this kind of work environment, and I'm so nervous around him that it's affecting my job performance. It's turning into a vicious cycle: He criticizes me, I stress out and do a bad job, he criticizes me for it, and so forth. Today he really let me have it, and as soon as my shift ended, I sobbed for the rest of the day. Even though this was my dream job, I'm beginning to dread going to work. I've looked for advice on how to deal with a difficult boss, but most of the advice applies only to corporate settings, where you can complain to human resources. Can you suggest any tricks for staying cool, not taking his wrath so personally, and currying his favor? —Pet Store Cinderella Dear Pet Store, First, accept that this may end up being one of those situations in which there are no good alternatives: Either you stay and it starts affecting your mental health or you go and have to give up a job you really enjoy. But the retail world is always in need of dedicated workers who get along with their colleagues and please their customers. Since you like the pet business, start Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC did you see this? Policeman's Poor Showing Thursday, August 14, 2008, at 12:06 PM ET Travels in the Former Soviet Union Uzbekistan's human rights activists are paranoid, weak, and unbelievably brave. By Joshua Kucera Friday, May 23, 2008, at 12:56 PM ET From: Joshua Kucera Subject: "Why Can't We Live Together?" Posted Monday, May 19, 2008, at 2:56 PM ET TSKHINVALI, South Ossetia—The first time I enter Tskhinvali, the capital of South Ossetia, the hotel staff immediately calls the police. They tell me that no one can process my journalist accreditation until Wednesday. It is a Sunday afternoon, and the following Tuesday is the May Day holiday, making it a four-day weekend. Can't I just stay until then and see the town as a tourist, I ask? Nope. So about 20 minutes after I arrive, the police drive me back to the border with Georgia proper and tell me to try again later. I come back on Wednesday and find that the accreditation process consists of writing my name in a book and filling out a small piece of paper that I am told to carry with me everywhere I go. It takes about a minute. I'm visiting South Ossetia as part of a tour across the southern edge of the former Soviet Union, looking at the wildly different 12/140 directions the newly independent countries have taken since 1991. In the case of South Ossetia, a self-proclaimed independent country that is, in fact, neither independent nor a country, "nowhere" is probably the best way to describe where it's gone. It's perhaps the closest you can get today to experiencing the old Soviet Union, as well as a good place to get the flavor of a good old-fashioned, Cold-War-style proxy war between the United States and Russia. South Ossetia broke away from Georgia after a chaotic 18-month war that killed 1,000 (of a population of 60,000) between 1990 and 1992. Today, South Ossetia is propped up by Russia: Moscow pays government salaries and provides the bulk of the peacekeeping forces. Billboards around Tskhinvali show Vladimir Putin with the legend "Our President." (This is during the summer of 2007. The billboards were later replaced with signs featuring new President Dmitry Medvedev that read, "The Russian Bear Is the Friend of the Snow Leopard," leopards being a symbol of the Ossetian nation.) Meanwhile, in Georgia proper, the United States is conducting an extensive training program for the Georgian military. Of course, Washington has bigger fish to fry than South Ossetia—it's training the Georgians to serve in Iraq, where the tiny ex-Soviet country is the highest per-capita contributor of troops, with about 2,000 in the sandbox. When I finally make it to Tskhinvali, I meet with the head of the press office, Irina Gagloeva, and she asks me whom I want to talk to. I give her the list of government officials I'd like to interview. The president? He's in Moscow. The prime minister? Likewise. The minister of defense or the chief of the armed forces? Absolutely impossible to talk to anyone about anything military, she says. Finally, we set up meetings with the foreign minister and the deputy prime minister. That shouldn't take very long, she says, so you can leave tomorrow. I tell her I also want time to talk to people outside the government—journalists, academics, ordinary people—and to get the flavor of South Ossetia. I was hoping to stay until Sunday, a four-day trip. No, she says. Finally, she relents and lets me stay until Saturday. "Saturday, 5 p.m., Joshua goodbye." She also forbids me to visit Kurta, where a rival government advocating reintegration with Georgia established itself last year. It's clear that the government does not want journalists roaming around South Ossetia. That afternoon, I set out to walk around town and take some photos. My first subject is a small group of palm trees that were given to the government of South Ossetia by Abkhazia, its sister breakaway territory. A policeman, who looks about 16, comes over and asks for my passport and accreditation. Everything checks out, and he lets me go. But a few minutes later, I see a picturesque abandoned shop with two flags flying out front— South Ossetian and Russian. The South Ossetian flag is almost never seen here without a Russian flag alongside. I snap a picture, and another policeman comes up and asks to see the last photo I took. I figure he thinks I had taken one of a policeman or some other forbidden subject, so I confidently show him the photo of the shop. "Come with me," he says, and we get in his Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Lada Niva jeep and drive to the nearby police station. "Is there a problem with the photo?" I ask. "Yes, there's a problem." At the police station, I wait on a ratty couch for about an hour, until two officials from the foreign ministry arrive. They drive me back to the hotel and tell me to stay there until morning. But I haven't eaten dinner, and there is no restaurant in the hotel, I protest. One relents and says I can go out to eat. But nothing more, and I must be back at the hotel by 9:30. They tell the receptionist to call the police if I'm not back. What's the problem? I ask again. "People might think you're a spy," one of them tells me. This is all for my safety, he explains. What sort of dangers are out there in Tskhinvali? I ask. "Maybe Georgians would attack you and blame us," he says. I never find out why they were freaked out by the photo. The next day, I meet with Deputy Prime Minister Boris Chochiev. When I tell him about my experiences with the police, he looks concerned and says he will investigate. Then he adds: "You know, people don't trust foreign journalists. The international journalists who travel from Georgia are usually following someone's orders." Whose orders? "The orders of those who support Georgia. They don't want true information; they want to represent us as just a small bunch of separatists that don't want to live with Georgia. But why don't we want to live with Georgia? This is what they don't want to write." Chochiev, a jovial man with a bushy mustache, is also a historian, and he gives me two books that he wrote on this very subject: South Ossetia: A Chronicle of the Events of the Georgian Aggression 1988-1992 and Memories of a Nation: Victims of Georgia's Aggressive Policy Against South Ossetia. Ossetians say they have nothing in common with Georgia and that South Ossetia is an artificial creation thrown together by ethnic Georgian Bolsheviks who wanted to separate and weaken the Ossetian nation. (A much larger portion of the Ossetian people lives in North Ossetia, a part of Russia just across the Caucasus mountains from South Ossetia.) They say that throughout the Soviet era, Georgia populated South Ossetia with ethnic Georgians and restricted the use of the Ossetian language. South Ossetia now appears to be a police state. Close to half the men I see on the street are police or military, and many men not in uniform openly wear pistols. Many of the police are engaged in make-work duties, it appears (including monitoring foreign journalists). There is a large detachment on the top floor of my hotel, allegedly providing security for the hotel (although I seem to be the only guest), and when some rowdy teenagers disrupt a concert celebrating Victory Day, the anniversary of the Soviet victory over Germany in World War II, a dozen or so police, including OMON forces (comparable to a SWAT team) are there to intercede. There are very few shops and little activity on the streets, even for a town of 40,000—but especially for the capital of a would- 13/140 be independent republic. The biggest industry besides the security apparatus, which is almost all funded from Moscow, is subsistence farming. People here blame the United States for providing military support to Georgia and emboldening Tbilisi to act against South Ossetia, and there is no ambivalence about the relationship with Moscow. Russia and Ossetia have been military allies since at least the 19th century. Moscow has traditionally relied on its fellow Christian Ossetians against the many Muslim nations in the Caucasus as well as against the independent-minded Georgians. In 2001, the speaker of the South Ossetian parliament wrote a letter to Russian President Vladimir Putin asking him to annex the country. Foreign Minister Murat Djioev tells me that joining Russia is also his desire, but independence is the first step on that path. For now, though, Russia seems satisfied to exercise de facto control over South Ossetia. It has given Russian passports to South Ossetians—who can't travel on their South Ossetian passports—and now 96 percent of South Ossetians are Russian citizens. I ask Djioev about the Russian flags and Putin billboards around town. "I want us to be part of Russia, but I understand this won't happen quickly. As Russian citizens, we want to demonstrate that the Russian flag is our flag and Putin is our president," he says. Several top officials, including the minister of defense and the head of the security service, are Russians. Djioev makes no apologies for it. "When it's necessary to invite a Russian specialist here, we'll do it. In San Marino, many of the top officials are Italians, and nobody criticizes them for it," he says. (Russia will, in 2008, move to formalize ties with South Ossetia as well as Abkhazia, further ratcheting up tensions with Georgia.) One night at the Café Farn, where I had gotten to know many of the regulars, a burly, jolly, and extremely drunken man comes over. "He's spetsnaz"—a special-forces soldier—one of my friends at the table tells me. "Russian or South Ossetian spetsnaz?" I ask. "Russian," he says, to the visible discomfort of the other people at the table. "Well, Russian and South Ossetian," he says. "But never mind," he adds and pours a round of vodka shots. South Ossetia's position has lately become more precarious. Dmitri Sanakoev, a former South Ossetian defense minister and veteran of the 1990-92 war, changed sides, and in 2006 he was elected president of South Ossetia in an "alternative" poll organized by a few ethnic Georgian villages in South Ossetia. He now runs a separatist state within this separatist state, advocating reintegration with Georgia from a village just on the outskirts of Tskhinvali. It is widely assumed in South Ossetia that Sanakoev changed sides only because the Georgian government offered to pay off his considerable gambling debts. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC The Georgian government initially held Sanakoev at arm's length, but it is now cooperating with him in increasingly highprofile ways. During my visit, several members of the Georgian parliament went to Kurta, his capital, for a meeting and photo-op with the government there. A crew from South Ossetian state television covered the event, and they invited along me and Zarina, a 21-year-old assistant press officer for the South Ossetian government. Zarina has already given me the South Ossetian nationalist party line: Georgians hate Ossetians and denied everything to Ossetians under communism. They killed Ossetian children in the war. The hypercarbonated Ossetian mineral water is far better than the famed Georgian Borjomi. Oh, and the Internet is bad in South Ossetia because Georgians interfere with it. The Kurta government turns on the charm for the visitors from Tskhinvali. While we wait for the parliamentarians to arrive, a series of government staffers comes over to the Tskhinvali visitors to make friendly small talk and offer us coffee. One sixtysomething woman, wearing an evening dress with a plunging neckline, comes over to us. Soon she is crying theatrically: "Why can't we live together? Why do we have to be divided," she says, sobbing. The Kurta prime minister introduces himself, flashing a big smile of gold teeth. "Welcome to Kurta, please come anytime!" he says and gives each of us his business card, which features the same symbol the Tskhinvali government uses, but in the Georgian language as well as Ossetian and Russian. Zarina is unimpressed with the prime minister and the rest of the Kurta hospitality. "If someone is smiling at you, and inside you know he hates you, what can you think?" she asks after he leaves. "He is the prime minister of four villages," she adds with as much disdain as she can muster. She seems unaware of the irony of these words coming from a representative of a government that rules over 60,000 people but has a president and a foreign ministry. We notice that the podium flies a South Ossetian flag next to a Georgian flag. Zarina, again, is appalled. "Our people cannot tolerate that the Georgian flag and the South Ossetian flag are together after this genocide, after they killed little children," she says. It is tempting to dismiss this as hysteria from a government apparatchik, but the emotion Ossetians feel about the war is real. After my interview with Chochiev, I went to get lunch at the Café Farn. When my new friends saw Memories of a Nation, they somberly paged through, looking for photos of friends and family who had been killed. After all, 1,000 people in such a small community is a lot, and the war touched everyone here. Zarina tells me that as a 5-year-old, she lived in nearby Gori, where her father was stationed as a Soviet army officer. She 14/140 remembers Georgian soldiers breaking into the barracks and forcing the family out because they were ethnic Ossetians. They fled to Tskhinvali. "I didn't understand anything, but I was so scared," she says. Eventually, the parliamentarians arrive, meet, and have a short press conference. Then the charm offensive resumes, and the Kurta government press officers invite the Tskhinvali visitors to the cafeteria for lunch. The Tskhinvalians are mortified at the prospect of breaking bread with the enemy, torn between two Caucasian imperatives: hospitality and their nation. The Kurta officials literally have to drag them by the crooks of their elbows into the cafeteria, and the Tskhinvalians give in. A bottle of homemade wine is produced. "Let's toast! No politics, just to us, all of us," one of the Kurtans proposes. We eat as quickly as we can, make awkward conversation, and say our goodbyes. I ask Zarina what she thinks of it all. "They are monsters," she says. From: Joshua Kucera Subject: The Cult of Heydar Aliyev Posted Tuesday, May 20, 2008, at 1:27 PM ET GANJA, Azerbaijan—In the State History Museum of Ganja, Azerbaijan's second city, there is a painting called "A Great Voice Rises From Moscow." It shows an ethereal being plunging a fiery sword into a chaotic city full of rioters. Clearly, there is a message here, but for the life of me, I can't figure out what it is. "This is in 1990, when Russians and Armenians were attacking our people and we said, 'Heydar Aliyev, come help us,' " explains my guide, Ulker, a second-year university student in history. But I don't understand the sword and who is holding it, I say. "This is God saying, 'Enough,' " she explains. That painting is subtle compared with one in the next room that features a bare-chested Mikhail Gorbachev peering over the turret of a tank that he is driving across a map of Azerbaijan. Gorbachev—who is portrayed as hairy as a gorilla—is thrusting a long spear at Baku, the capital. From outside Azerbaijan's borders, sharks and wolves attack from various directions. "This one is about how everyone attacked us like animals," Ulker explains. By most measures, Azerbaijanis shouldn't have this victimization complex. Their economy is the fastest-growing in the world, and with vast, recently discovered reserves of oil and Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC gas off the Caspian Sea coast, they (unlike most of the neighbors) have largely been able to run their country without interference from the United States or Russia, both of which are eager to curry favor with the government rather than strong-arm it. But Azerbaijan still smarts from the humiliating loss of nearly 14* percent of its territory, including the former autonomous region of Nagorno-Karabakh, to its enemies, the Armenians. Aliyev, who died in 2003 and was succeeded by his son, Ilham, skillfully manipulated this humiliation to build his personality cult into one of the most extensive in the world. Today, Azerbaijan is full of Heydar Aliyev boulevards, parks, statues, and billboards. Every history museum has at least one room devoted to Heydar Aliyev, and every major town has a museum devoted exclusively to him. An American who taught in Azerbaijan tells me that the school curriculum is similarly Heydar-heavy. Throughout the museum in Ganja, a simple narrative explains the country's recent history: Armenia attacked Azerbaijan without provocation, Russia schemed behind the scenes to help the Armenians, and no one in the world was on Azerbaijan's side. Then Heydar Aliyev came to lead Azerbaijan into the era of peace and prosperity it currently enjoys. "All people love Heydar Aliyev," Ulker says. "Before, we used to be poor. Now we are rich. He doesn't think about his family; he only thinks about the Azerbaijani people," she says. Ulker asks whether I'd been to Armenia and whether I liked Armenian people. "Of course. They're good people, like everywhere," I say. She is shocked: "No! They killed our people." I say that Azeris killed Armenians, too. "No, they didn't," she insists. I expected the anti-Armenian propaganda. But what surprises me is how many anti-Russian elements the narrative contains. The standard villain is "the Armenians and Russians," always paired together. In the room on World War II, Ulker explains how Azerbaijan sent people to fight fascism and Moscow took 80 percent of Azerbaijan's oil. "Before, the Russians took all our oil and gave it to other countries, and we were poor. Now we're independent, and we can sell the oil ourselves," she says. Over-the-top propaganda notwithstanding, most Azerbaijanis do seem to like Heydar Aliyev. Even his critics admit that he was shrewd and highly intelligent and that his strong hand was what Azerbaijan needed in the chaos of the early 1990s, during which he succeeded two feckless post-Soviet presidents at a time when many observers doubted Azerbaijan could survive as an independent country. And most people, while rarely as devoted as Ulker, don't admit any reservations about him. They do, 15/140 however, seem faintly embarrassed about the abundance of memorials. "When he was ruling the country, he didn't let this cult of personality get too out-of-hand," says Eldar Namazov, a former top aide to Heydar Aliyev who broke with the president in the late 1990s and now heads a small opposition political party. "He was smart, and he knew what he was doing." "But the people in charge now aren't as smart. They're going too far, and now people are laughing at it," he says. He describes a fountain in Baku, which, at its grand opening, spouted a wall of water on which was projected a movie of Heydar Aliyev saying, "The independence of Azerbaijan will be forever." Namazov laughs at the memory. "I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes," he says. The current regime has concerns about its legitimacy, and the celebrations of Heydar Aliyev are a way of shoring up their authority, one Western diplomat tells me. He says the government is tying the broad national agenda that Heydar Aliyev established—secularism and a Western orientation—to the personality of Aliyev, who is regarded by most Azerbaijanis as the founder of their nation. "Ataturk is everywhere in Turkey, and he represents secularism and democracy. Here it's the same thing: Heydar Aliyev represents a secular government and an orientation toward the West," the diplomat says. The proliferation of Aliyev memorials across the country is not ordered from the top, both the diplomat and Namazov say; overzealous local officials are to blame. "Power is pretty much concentrated at the top here, and local officials understand that to curry favor with the central government they can put up these statues and parks," the diplomat says. Namazov tells me the narrative that I saw in the Ganja museum is one that Heydar Aliyev himself established. "He had a standard story that he told a million times whenever he met international officials or journalists. If the person was new in the region, he told the long version, which took maybe an hour. If the person knew what he was doing, he got the short version, which was 15 or 20 minutes." "There were several key episodes in the story," he says. Heydar Aliyev was invited to go to Moscow to be part of the Soviet government, but he didn't want to go. If he hadn't been from a Muslim republic, he would have been premier of the Soviet Union. Gorbachev schemed against him. He left the Communist Party as a protest against Soviet policy on Nagorno-Karabakh. He then went back to Nakhcivan, his hometown, to be a private Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC citizen. After the first two disastrous governments of independent Azerbaijan, "the people" demanded that he come to Baku and lead them. As president, there were two assassination attempts and, again, "the people" saved him. "He also told this story around Azerbaijan, and this is the same story you see today—maybe with some embellishments," he says. "Like the sharks." Correction, May 26, 2008: This story originally stated that Azerbaijan suffered the loss of nearly 20 percent of its territory. Most analysts estimate the loss at closer to 14 percent. (Return to corrected sentence.) From: Joshua Kucera Subject: A Mosque Booms in Baku Posted Wednesday, May 21, 2008, at 12:27 PM ET BAKU, Azerbaijan—The Abu Bakr mosque is in a modest commercial district not far from Baku's train station, next to a gas station and a noisy construction site. A branch of the religious-goods chain called Muslim Shop stands nearby. Abu Bakr's young imam, Gemat Suleymanov, preaches a Saudistyle fundamentalist Sunni Islam, known as Salafism or Wahhabism, which the government of Azerbaijan fears. The government has closed down all other such mosques in the country but has allowed Abu Bakr to remain open, probably because it fears the Suleymanov's charisma and popularity. One Friday morning, I visit Abu Bakr and meet Meydan, a twentysomething guy in a Brazil soccer jersey who is a member of the mosque. I want to sit in on the service, but I'm not sure what kind of reception an American would get. Meydan is exceedingly welcoming. He takes me to a mosque official who tells me it's no problem. I just have to verify that I showered that morning and promise to face forward during the service. The service starts at 2 p.m., so Meydan tells me I should come back at 1. I get there at 1:15, and the building is already packed. I find Meydan and head toward the front, tiptoeing through the worshippers, dodging their open Qurans (some in Arabic, some in Russian). The mosque's walls are white, in the Wahhabi style, but although the mosque is just 10 years old, the walls are dirty and some paint is peeling. Once we're settled in, he explains why he likes this mosque more than the Shiite ones that are more traditionally Azeri. "The Shiites do things that are not true Islam—they pray at the graves 16/140 of holy men, they drink holy water, and they beat themselves," he says, referring—in a somewhat crude fashion—to various Shiite traditions. One of his friends takes out his cell phone, which he uses to show me a video of a black-turbaned Shiite cleric furiously beating himself around the head. "Normal people don't do this—not even Christians," he says. He uses the cellphone video to proselytize to his friends. "I want to show them that this is not the way to be," he says. Meydan tells me he especially admires the form of Islam practiced in Saudi Arabia. "If you go to Saudi Arabia and have nowhere to stay, you can ask any Muslim, and he will let you stay at his house for three days. That's where you see true Islam," he says. I also meet Elshad, who operates the mosque's sound system. He's wearing a blue polo shirt with the logo of British Petroleum, where he works as an engineer. He says BP gives him whichever two days off per week he wants, so he spends Friday at the mosque. (Azerbaijan, despite being populated almost exclusively by Muslims, has a Monday-through-Friday workweek.) "More and more people are coming here, because it's not just a variant of religion, it's the true religion," he says. At exactly 2, Imam Suleymanov walks up the stairs to the pulpit and begins his sermon. The crowd is rapt, and several young men use their cell phones to record him. The sermon is in Azeri, so I can't understand a word, but I don't need a translation to understand Suleymanov's appeal: He has an easy conversational style, and he makes the congregation laugh several times. Afterward, I walk out with Elshad. He had told me earlier that 10,000 people visit the mosque for the Friday service. I assumed that was an exaggeration, but outside are masses of people who have listened to the sermon on loudspeakers under a large canopy, and 10,000 is probably not far from the truth. Chechnya, and it threatened to shut down the mosque in 2003. It did imprison Ilgar Ibragimogly, another popular imam in Baku. Earlier, I had met Arif Yusunov, a Baku analyst who has written a book called Islam in Azerbaijan. The rise of Islam, he told me, is directly related to Azerbaijan's Western geopolitical orientation. According to his theory, Azerbaijanis generally see three directions the country can take: toward the United States, Russia, or the Islamic world. Russia supports Armenia in the Nagorno-Karabakh conflict and so has no chance to win Baku's favor. Azerbaijanis are generally inclined to the West, but Yusunov argues that they lost respect for Washington after it supported the deeply flawed election of Ilham Aliyev as president in 2003. As a result, more and more people are turning to Islam—not just as a religion but a political orientation, he says. The heavy Western expat presence in Baku—illustrated most vividly by the dozens of Irish bars downtown and the loutish oilmen who frequent them—combined with rising economic inequality and ugly nationalism is a dangerous enough mix without fundamentalist religion. But it seems possible that in Azerbaijan, as in Iran or Chechnya, social discontent could take on a religious character. In an interview after the service, Suleymanov stresses many times—without my raising the issue—that he does not support terrorism or radical groups like al-Qaida, which he calls "antiIslam." He denies that the mosque has ever had a problem with the government and dodges any further questions on the topic. He says he doesn't want the government to force women to cover their heads, and he tries to strike a moderate tone. The only time he sounds at all radical is when the conversation turns to Armenia and Nagorno-Karabakh, the part of Azerbaijan that Armenians have controlled since the early 1990s. I ask Elshad what the sermon was about. "He told us how to be good Muslims, what not to do." "Like what?" "Like not to be a suicide bomber." "Did he really specifically mention suicide bombers?" "No, but we know what he means." The topic of terrorism is a sensitive one at Abu Bakr. Since 9/11, the Azerbaijani government has capitalized on the West's fear of Islamic terrorism to smear any manifestation of social discontent with the label "terrorist " or "Wahhabi." The government has accused Abu Bakr of being a recruiting center for fighters in Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC "We have terrorists in Islam, but there are Armenian terrorists as well. They committed acts of terrorism on the Baku metro," he says, referring to a 1994 attack in which 20 people were killed— the incident is generally attributed to a group advocating independence for the small Lezghi minority in northern Azerbaijan. "Wasn't that Lezghis?" I ask. "Yes, but the Armenians paid them," he responds. I ask how he thinks the conflict in Nagorno-Karabakh can be solved. "Only war," he says. "It's a waste of time to talk with the Armenians. The government has been talking with them for more than 10 years, and we've had no results. Armenians are stealing from our graves, and the government is wasting its time. The only solution is war." I ask whether he is happy with the Azerbaijani government's orientation to the West. "It is no problem to have economic ties 17/140 to the West," he says. "But we cannot take their religion or culture." From: Joshua Kucera Subject: The World's Worst Spies Posted Thursday, May 22, 2008, at 11:40 AM ET NAKHCIVAN, Azerbaijan—When I told people in Azerbaijan that I was going to Nakhcivan, I heard the same three things over and over: Nakhcivan is unbearably hot, it is bleak and poor, and it is a dictatorship. People especially relished telling me about the last point. "You don't need to go to Turkmenistan. You can just go to Nakhcivan; it's the same thing," one opposition politician told me, referring to the most famously repressive place in the former Soviet Union. "You know, if you don't tell the government beforehand that you are going, they might arrest you at the airport," a Western diplomat warned me. Nakhcivan is an autonomous republic of Azerbaijan separated from the "mainland" by a caprice of Soviet border-drawing. Wedged between Iran and Armenia, with a sliver of a connection to Turkey—the only land border with Azerbaijan's closest ally— it is a sensitive and important part of Azerbaijan. It's also a place of political significance—Heydar Aliyev, the president for 10 years, was from Nakhcivan, as was Abulfaz Elchibey, the president who preceded him. These days, the "Nakhcivani clan" boasts several members in President Ilham Aliyev's inner circle. My initial impression of Nakhcivan was that the conventional wisdom is wrong. Nakhcivan, said to be the least-developed part of Azerbaijan, has brand-new roads, construction going up all around the small capital (also called Nakhcivan), and a generally pleasant air. Even the weather confounded my expectations—my visit coincided with a rare cool spell. I took the train to Culfa, a historic town on the border with Iran. The Lonely Planet travel guide, published in 2004, claims that Culfa is "plagued by bureaucrats who like nothing better than interviewing foreigners at great length and pontificating about the town's enormous strategic importance." But the authorities there seemed to be completely uninterested in me. Similarly, I took photos all around Nakhcivan—something that had caused great consternation in South Ossetia—and the police never bothered me. But it didn't take long to realize that while the government may have refined its tactics somewhat, it still tries to keep a tight lid on things. I was greeted at the airport by Asiman, a young English-speaking assistant in the protocol office of the Ministry Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC of Foreign Affairs. Whenever I met him, he asked what I was doing around town and whom I was meeting with. At first, I chalked it up to simple curiosity—very few foreigners (other than Iranians or Turks) come to Nakhcivan. The waiter at the cafeteria where I ate most of my meals even asked for my autograph. But Asiman's curiosity came to have a bit of an edge. "So, who did you meet with today?" he would ask me every time I saw him. Oh, a politician, some journalists. "Which journalists? Which politician? What did they tell you?" he asked. The last afternoon I was in Nakhcivan, I met with Asiman and Ali Alizade, the head of his office. I asked Alizade about Nakhcivan's reputation as a police state and where he thought this reputation had come from. "I was told you met with Vagif Mahmudov and Malakhat Nasibova. I think they told you about this. They are from the opposition, and they don't like the government," he said. All this was true. Mahmudov is an opposition politician, and Nasibova is the local correspondent for Turan, the opposition news agency. And they had in fact told me that Nakhcivan was a repressive place. But I told him that diplomats in Baku, several other Azerbaijani sources, and my travel guides—in short, virtually every source of information I had about Nakhcivan—had said it was an oppressive place. Asiman piped up, "Which diplomats?" I pointed out that his habit of asking that kind of question didn't help the perception. I admitted that thus far I'd had no real problems with the government, but I asked if the government watched opposition figures like, for example, Mahmudov and Nasibova. "Ah—so they did tell you about this!" Alizade said, triumphantly. I gave up, said my goodbyes, and went back to my hotel to pack for the flight back to Baku. Waiting in the lobby was a young journalist who said she wanted to interview me about Nakhcivan and Azerbaijan. She spoke good but oddly formal English. "What do you think about the democratic processes of Azerbaijan and the Nakhcivan Autonomous Republic?" she asked me. I told her that three days in Nakhcivan weren't enough to make me an expert on its democratic processes, but I gave a boilerplate answer about international criticism of the Azerbaijani elections of 2003 and 2005, suppression of the media, and so on. I also mentioned that the government took an inordinate interest in where I was going and whom I was talking to, which didn't speak well of its democratic processes. That was the only statement she wrote down in her notebook. 18/140 Then her questions began to center on Nasibova. "So, I understand you met with Malakhat Nasibova. What did she say to you?" she asked. "What does she think about the democratic processes of the Nakhcivan Autonomous Republic?" I said Nasibova was a friendly and open woman and would certainly answer these questions herself. "Yes, I am going to call her," she said. "But what did she tell you about the elections of 2005?" "In Iran, there are so many restrictions, and people are so unhappy," he told me. "We go to Azerbaijan so we can feel free." From: Joshua Kucera Subject: A Land Where Dissidents Love America Posted Friday, May 23, 2008, at 12:56 PM ET During the "interview," I got a phone call from a friend. "Was that Malakhat?" my interrogator asked when I hung up. Heydar Aliyev rose from obscurity in Nakhcivan to become a top KGB operator and eventually the head of the agency. I think he would be appalled at the shoddy skills of today's generation of Nakhcivan spies. Ironically, I had barely spoken with Nasibova. I spent more time with Mahmudov. "The situation in Nakhcivan is very difficult, much more anti-democratic than the rest of Azerbaijan," he told me. Whenever he said the name of Nakhcivan's leader, Vasif Talibov, he lowered his voice. The handful of independent journalists and civil-society officials in Nakhcivan report regular harassment. Just days after my visit, opposition activist Ilham Sadigov was kidnapped by masked men, and Nasibova was told she would be killed if she wrote about it. (He was later released.) During my short time in Nakhcivan, I heard other stories. One young man who lived for a time in Istanbul said he received regular anonymous phone calls in Azeri—he believes from Nakhcivan—asking him whom he was meeting with and why he was learning Turkish. A pair of Korean missionaries was arrested when they went to Culfa, their translator told me. Some Iranians were arrested when they tried to visit the Alinca Castle, one of Nakhcivan's few tourist attractions, according to a taxi driver who took them there. Of course, it could be worse. After I flew back to Baku, I shared a taxi from the airport with two ethnic Azeri men from Tabriz, Iran—or as they called it, South Azerbaijan. I mentioned that I had seen a lot of Iranians in Nakhcivan and asked why they liked it there. "In Iran, it's illegal to read or write in our language, and if you speak it, the police will suspect you of being a separatist," one of them said. For what it's worth, he was a separatist. He argued that Iran should either become a federal state with each of its five major ethnic groups getting its own territory, or failing that, Azeris should split off, join with Azerbaijan, and form a new state with Tabriz as the capital. "There are 30 million Azeris living in Iran, and we can't use our own language," he said. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC TASHKENT, Uzbekistan—When Tashpulat Yuldashev, a former top official in the Uzbekistan Ministry of Foreign Affairs who is now a dissident political analyst, invites me to his home in the mountains, I expect a pleasant villa among the vacation homes of Tashkent's elite. It's late July, and most people in Tashkent who can afford it are in the mountains, where the air is cooler. But Tavaksay turns out to be a simple farming community next to a crumbling sanatorium. He greets me and Marina Kozlova, my translator who is also an independent journalist, outside his shabby house and shows us the patch of tomatoes, potatoes, and melons that provide his sustenance. "I'm in the middle class, and you see how I live," he says. Unlike in many countries, where being a democratic activist ensures a reasonably lucrative life of grants from Western NGOs and travel to international conferences, the ones I meet in Uzbekistan live hand-to-mouth. Most don't speak English, and they have mouths full of gold teeth, a fashion of simple village people rather than cosmopolitan elites. That there are democratic activists in Uzbekistan at all is remarkable. The country is a regular on Freedom House's "Worst of the Worst" list of human rights violators. It has banned any serious opposition political parties, kicked out most Western nonprofits, and has one of the worst torture records on the planet. When protests erupted in the city of Andijan in 2005, government troops opened fire, killing hundreds. Uzbekistan's government has plenty of critics based outside the country. But I'm surprised to find that there is a handful of human rights activists, independent journalists, and opposition politicians living and operating openly here. While they are the angriest and most critical of all the people I speak to during my time in Uzbekistan, they are also the only ones who will allow their names to be published. In addition to being brave, the activists are paranoid, weak, and divided. Several believe they are being poisoned by the government. Many of the dissidents I meet accuse the other 19/140 dissidents of being government agents. One complains that the Western organization that used to employ him did not pay for his mysterious illness to be treated in Europe, and therefore, he concluded, it must have been infiltrated by Uzbekistan's National Security Service. Of course, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you. Along with the many implausible stories are welldocumented patterns of police surveillance and harassment. And all the dissidents live under threat of even worse: The government has infamously boiled suspected dissidents to death. Inside his house, Yuldashev offers us Nescafé in small bowls— the Uzbek style—and fresh melon. He lives alone—his wife, he says, was spying on him. He's lived here since 1995, when he fell out of favor with President Islam Karimov for advocating democratic reforms. But his time away from the capital has not diminished his belief in the influence he can wield. He drops hints that he is willing to take part in whatever government forms when Karimov eventually falls and suggests deputy prime minister as an appropriate post. Yuldashev says he has been keeping a diary that details government abuses. He says it contains a record of how much he thinks the government is spending to spy on him. "Maybe it's 1 billion sum [close to $1 million]." The diary, he says, is just one part of a blackmail strategy—it is already online and will be made public if he is detained. "I know that I can be arrested and tortured. But I have four nuclear bombs strapped to me, and one of them is the diary. Compared with what I have in this diary, Andijan is child's play." He won't give any hints as to what the other three "bombs" are. If the information he has is so powerful, why doesn't he just go abroad and publish it? "I want to be a hero. If I am touched, I'll be famous all over the world. I'll be the only person able to beat Karimov. I'm not going to declare war on them; they will have to declare it on me, and then I'll beat them." While Yuldashev, the intellectual, lives in self-imposed internal exile and writes analytical articles for Web sites that are blocked inside Uzbekistan, his allies at the Alliance of Human Rights Defenders (known as UzHRD) in Tashkent take a more in-thetrenches approach to their work. Elena Urlaeva, who deals with police abuse for the UzHRD, says she often starts her day by filing formal complaints to the government ombudsman, state prosecutors, and members of parliament. "I really like writing complaints," she says. She gets calls and office visits from people who have been mistreated by the police, and she writes between five and 15 petitions a day. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC It seems like quixotic work, but she says she occasionally gets results. During my visit, she wins a small victory—she receives a letter from the Uzbekistan parliament saying that a complaint she had issued was valid, the police involved in the complaint had broken the law, and the case was being referred to the Tashkent city prosecutor. It seems ironic that, given the government's reputation for acting outside the law, the activists' main weapon is the law. "The Uzbekistan constitution is perfect—but the police don't obey it," says Jahongir Shosalimov, another of the alliance's activists. The activists, however, obey the law—as much as they can. For example, when they protest, they have what in Russian is called a piket rather than a miting—the former is legal as long as there are no speakers; the latter is illegal. Still, the activists regularly suffer police harassment. Plainclothes agents of the National Security Service are permanently parked outside the office, photographing everyone who visits. Urlaeva was fired from her job as a technician at the state TV company; she now cleans apartments for a living. She has been declared mentally unfit and has twice been placed in psychiatric hospitals and given psychotropic drugs against her will. When the law doesn't protect them, the activists say, Western embassies do. Urlaeva has many stories of police blocking the door of her apartment building on days when there is a piket. When that happens, she calls the U.S. Embassy for help. On one such occasion she was trapped in her apartment for hours, but she called, "and as soon as the car from the U.S. Embassy pulled up, all of the agents ran away," she says. Most of the activists express an absolute faith in the West's—and especially the United States'—willingness to fight for human rights. The irony is that Uzbekistan is often used as an example of U.S. hypocrisy on human rights: Washington made Uzbekistan a strategic partner in the "war on terror" and rented the Karshi-Khanabad air base while stomaching—at least until Andijan—its terrible human rights record. "Thanks to the U.S. air base, the Uzbekistan government suffered our criticisms and had to close its mouth. And then when it left, the authorities called us American spies," says the UzHRD's Ahtam Shaymardan. Adds Urlaeva: "We always say that our only defense is the U.S. Embassy, and our hopes are connected with the United States. We consider the United States to be the model of observing the law. We have more contacts with the U.S. Embassy than with any other embassy, and the Americans pay more attention to human rights defenders." 20/140 Opponents of democratization in the post-Soviet world often accuse human rights and pro-democracy groups of being a stalking horse for an American agenda, but reliance on American support is not something Uzbekistan's dissidents worry about. "It's impossible to have more problems than we have now," says Yuldashev. After our interview, Yuldashev walks me and Marina back to the main highway, where we catch a bus back to Tashkent. On the way back, Marina tells me that in addition to being a journalist, she also dabbles in fiction. "I've started writing stories in the magic-realist style. I think Uzbekistan is very similar to Latin America," she says. "How?" I ask. "A government like a dictatorship. A huge gap between the rich and poor. Torture," she says. It's hard to argue. She says she has read Graham Greene's Our Man in Havana recently. She quotes one line that she liked: " 'There are two classes of people in Cuba—those who can be tortured and those who can't.' I hope I'm the second group. But you know, he also said whoever can't be tortured is just killed," she says and laughs. dispatches A Terror Tour of Israel The human problem. By Nathan Hodge and Sharon Weinberger Friday, March 14, 2008, at 7:23 AM ET From: Nathan Hodge and Sharon Weinberger Subject: The Ultimate Mission Posted Monday, March 10, 2008, at 1:46 PM ET JERUSALEM—The tourists still haven't come back to Israel, despite the aggressive rebranding campaign ("Hot Israel") and the photo spread in Maxim magazine ("Women of the Israel Defense Forces"). The country had even gone a year without a single suicide bombing, but our garrulous taxi driver was complaining as he drove us from the Ben-Gurion airport to the Sheraton hotel in Jerusalem. "Now, it's mostly religious travelers—evangelical Christians and religious Jews," he said. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC True to the driver's word, we arrived at the Sheraton to find the lobby crowded with Orthodox Jews celebrating the Sabbath. We had arrived in Israel neither as religious pilgrims nor as traditional tourists: We had signed up for the Ultimate CounterTerrorism Mission, a weeklong journey around the country during which we would learn about Israel's battle with terrorism. The trip was aimed at U.S. police officers and homeland-security professionals. For Israel's tourism industry, the new millennium has not been kind. In 2000—what should have been a banner year for tourism and pilgrimages—the number of visitors to the Promised Land plummeted. The Second Intifada kicked off after the failure of the Oslo negotiations and former Prime Minister Ariel Sharon's visit to the Temple Mount, keeping most tourists away. In an even worse signal to visitors, Israel's minister of tourism, Rehavam Zeevi, was shot dead by Palestinians in October 2001. While the people with fanny packs began trickling back between 2003 and 2005, a series of suicide bombings and rocket attacks kept most casual tourists away. Then came the 2006 war in Lebanon, and the Israeli tourism industry tanked again. So, what can a country do when its tourist industry is eclipsed by terrorism? The answer, it seems, is to market terrorism to tourists. In perhaps one of the strangest twists of Middle East politics, terrorism is being used to lure visitors back to Israel. Our itinerary—which promised participants such highlights as an "observation of a security trial of Hamas terrorists" and briefings on "the realities of Israel's policy of targeted killings"—was not, at first glance, for the casual visitor. But in a way, it was. Israel has a long tradition of combining tourism and lobbying. Most famously, former Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon gave a helicopter tour to George W. Bush during his 1998 trip to Israel while Bush was still governor of Texas. The two hit it off, and the visit is widely credited with reinforcing Bush's sympathy for Israel's security situation. Who goes on a terror tour? At the bar on the first evening at the hotel, we sat next to George and Joan Kessel, a retired couple from Boca Raton, Fla., who were trying—with little success—to tell the bartender how to mix a Gibson. "We just finished a mission at Technion University," said Joan, a stylishly dressed woman with her silver hair cut in a modern bob. "That one was really good." We had never heard of the term mission, but we soon learned it is a generic word associated with organized trips to Israel. Typically, the trips—often aimed at Jewish Americans—are meant to educate the visitors on some aspects of Israeli politics or culture. In a sense, the Ultimate Counter-Terrorism Mission, rather than an aberration, is the logical extension of what Israel has done for decades: bring over Jewish Americans and other potential supporters in the hopes of demonstrating how vulnerable the country is to internal and external threats. 21/140 "We started organizing this a few years ago when tourism dropped off," said Avi Leitner, a lawyer with Shurat HaDin Israel Law Center, an Israeli organization that sues terrorist organizations and countries on behalf of victims of terror attacks. But this year's tour was different; previous trips organized by Shurat HaDin were aimed at the regular tourist, featuring evening cruises, cookouts, and "luxurious bus transportation." This year's tour, organized with a Long Islandbased homeland-security firm, Shaneson Consulting Group, was aimed primarily at law enforcement. Our group was what could only be described as eclectic. While police officers, for whom the tour was tailored, dominated the group, we also had the Kessels, a homeland-security contractor, a former dentist, a retired ophthalmologist, and two bounty hunters. Perhaps the most famous of our tour companions was Richard Marcinko, the pony-tailed ex-Navy SEAL turned bestselling writer who was there as part of his security business, Red Cell International. For the next week we would travel around Israel, including parts of the West Bank, in a massive tour bus, with a sign clearly marked "Ultimate Counter-Terrorism Mission" on the windshield—something that elicited more than a few snickers from the security-conscious members of the group. If Israel has not always been able to convince the world of its righteousness, it has been particularly adept at marketing its image abroad as a military powerhouse with superior technology. Israeli armaments manufacturer Rafael likes to advertise "60 years of experience in the war on terrorism." Even Krav Maga, the martial arts form taught to Israeli soldiers, has found sweeping success in the United States with aerobics buffs. That image—partially dented by the failures of the Second Lebanon War—was on display throughout the tour. Indeed, part of the idea of the tour was to market Israeli hardware such as the Corner Shot, a gun mount with a video monitor that allows assault teams to shoot around corners. But even the souvenir shops displayed the fetishization of the Israeli military. The shops were filled with T-shirts featuring military slogans ("Guns 'n' Moses"; "America, don't worry—Israel is behind you"). Our favorite souvenir was for sale at the gift shop of the Latrun military base: an IDF doll that played "We Will Rock You." The days were packed full of visits to military bases, security briefings from members of Mossad and Shin Bet, and stops for fine dining. In the evenings, we had additional lectures that gave us a James Bond image of Israeli operations. In an evening lecture at the hotel, Oren Ben-Lulu, a veteran of Duvdevan, an Israeli commando unit that specializes in undercover work, described the intricate charades these units stage to arrest their suspects. Commandos would go into the West Bank disguised as Palestinians, sometimes even working in drag. Ben-Lulu, who stood more than 6 feet tall, joked that the "younger, betterlooking guys" are assigned this job. Duvdevan even employs a well-known Israeli makeup artist to help. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Ben-Lulu, who is now an orthopedic surgeon, even recalled some of the more comical episodes from his career, which sounded like outtakes from La Cage aux Folles, not combat operations in an occupied territory—for instance, snatching a suspect at a wedding. "After the second wedding, we stopped doing it, because it's not very nice," he said. "You are ruining their wedding, actually." Funerals, he said, were still fair game. The whole point of this tour was to sell the Israeli model of counterterrorism. But as skilled as the Israelis are at this, it's hard to imagine U.S. troops dressing in drag to arrest terror suspects in Iraq. Perhaps when the United States gets to that point, it'll mean it has been there too long. Yet Israel, which finished 2007 without a single suicide bombing originating in the West Bank (and only one from Gaza), was claiming at least partial success. So, is it something worth emulating? As we boarded the bus in the afternoon of our first day, Yossi Maimon, our tour guide, made an announcement. Ninety minutes earlier there had been a bombing in Dimona, Israel's first suicide attack of the year. From: Nathan Hodge and Sharon Weinberger Subject: Law & Order: IDF Posted Tuesday, March 11, 2008, at 7:49 AM ET OFER MILITARY BASE, West Bank—On the other side of the wire-mesh fence, Palestinian men and women lined up, waiting to attend the trials of family members. "Don't take pictures," said Avi Leitner, one of our tour organizers, reprimanding the group. "They're not animals." For the average law-abiding American, knowledge of the criminal-justice system is largely formed by television. Unless you've got a law degree—or have been arrested—your knowledge of Miranda rights, body-cavity searches, and court procedures is usually drawn from episodes of The Wire or perhaps reading news of Paris Hilton's latest arrest. But as part of our counterterrorism tour, we were being given a step-by-step (or bus-stop-by-bus-stop) introduction to the Israeli military justice system. Military courts were set up after the 1967 Six-Day War, when Israel took control of the West Bank, the Gaza Strip, the Sinai Peninsula, and the Golan Heights. The courts fall under the military commander for the region who makes the laws, appoints the judges, and sets up the judicial procedures. 22/140 The Ofer court, which has jurisdiction over a portion of the West Bank, is housed within a small trailer park on a dusty military base west of Ramallah. It's a simple setup: seven trailers, seven courts, with Trailer 3 reserved for appeals. There is no separate juvenile system; those under 18 are tried in the same courts as the adults. Our tour group was ushered inside one trailer, where a proceeding was about to get underway. For the court workers, it must have been a strange sight: a group of American tourists crowded inside the peanut gallery, with Leitner providing a running translation of the court proceedings. "He's a famous Palestinian lawyer," he whispered, pointing to the robed defense attorney, who was running his hands over blue prayer beads as he exchanged small talk with the judges and the prosecutor. "He only represents terrorists." One man's terrorist is another man's petty criminal. The first suspect, who entered with his legs shackled, was accused of smuggling weapons and drugs across the border from Jordan; a second defendant, brought in a few minutes later, was accused of keeping weapons without a permit. In fact, many of the cases brought before the court are not terrorism-related; petty crime and illegal border crossings (to find work in Israel) are two of the most common offenses. That said, terrorism-related offenses have also surged over the last seven years. Since 2000, Israel's total prison population has ballooned to 23,776 inmates, a growth of 248 percent. In fact, most of what we were witnessing in court that day were discussions over scheduling (no small matter, since the dockets were booked up six months ahead). The proceedings had an improvised feel, an impression aided by the ramshackle trailer setting. On the Israeli side, everyone looked almost comically young: The prosecutor was wearing stylish glasses and tight pants, her dark, curly hair pulled back into a ponytail. The three judges lined up along the back could have passed for junior clerks in a U.S. court. The approach to justice here is not quite Guantanamo Bay, but neither is it Law & Order. One thing, however, is similar to the television series: "Settle the case" is a common rejoinder in the military courts. "A tremendously high number of cases are pleabargained," said Maj. Menachem Lieberman, a military judge at Ofer military base. Israel's military-court system is attacked on many grounds, including the high rate of plea bargains (more than 95 percent) and low rate of acquittals (fewer than 1 percent). One of the most serious concerns is that many of the cases are built on confessions—later retracted in court—that are given to interrogators from Shabak (better known as Shin Bet), Israel's domestic-security agency. Israeli military courts, like the U.S. military, are still wrestling with how to use information gleaned from interrogation. The Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC courtrooms are to a certain extent open—the Israeli press and some members of the families of the accused often attend—but the prosecution can request that the courtroom be closed and that the transcript be sealed when a Shabak member testifies. Lieberman, for his part, said he preferred to keep the doors open, allowing interrogators to testify behind a curtain. "The judge sees him, the defendant—who anyway knows what he looks like—gets to see him," he says. "But the people in the court itself, the bystanders, they won't see him, that's fine." At another stop on the tour, we were introduced to Haim Ben Ami, a former head of interrogations at Shin Bet. He strolled across the stage like a movie director explaining a difficult scene to his audience. "There's no way to convince a person in an interrogation to make a confession only with a polite way of talking," Ben Ami said with a wave of his hands. "It should be something that forces him to this corner. … He should suffer somehow." The United States may now be grappling with questions of water-boarding and enhanced interrogations, but in Israel, these issues have been around for years. Torture is illegal in Israel, but also like in the United States, the difference between torture, enhanced interrogation, and run-of-the-mill interrogation is up for debate. As Ben Ami put it, "One box is torture? One smash is torture? Kick his balls once, it's torture? Twice, it's torture? Let's talk about it." Ben Ami likes stories and has a flair for drama. Asked by a member of our tour what he would do if his own daughter's life were at stake, he tapped his prosthetic leg, noting that he had already been a victim of a terror attack (a grenade was thrown at him). But Ben Ami's best stories are about times when it might be useful to torture terrorists, like in the case of a pair of terrorists captured while crossing into Israel to set off a bomb in Tel Aviv. They were tortured during interrogation and gave up information on their comrades. Then what? "So, I made a suggestion," Ben Ami said. "After the interrogation, we should bring these two guys back to the water, we put their head in water—bloop, bloop, bloop!—and let them float to Dead Sea. In the morning, two bodies in the Dead Sea, it happens." Ben Ami's story, it turns out, was made up, a scenario meant to provoke discussion. Like a good TV show, it was often hard to tell where Ben Ami's stories crossed over into fiction. In his own version of a "ripped from the headlines" story, he recalled giving a lecture to law students at Harvard at the invitation of wellknown professor Alan Dershowitz. He recounted to the students Shin Bet's involvement in delivering a suspected terrorist to the 23/140 U.S. Embassy in Lebanon in 1983. The Israelis, Ben Ami said, had knowledge of a planned attack on the United States, but they knew no details. As Ben Ami recalled, the Israelis told the Americans: "Take him, make an interrogation, and we wish you success." Except the suspect wouldn't talk. "He said: 'Look, I wish to talk, but I'm very tired. I'd like to fall asleep for at least two hours.' " The suspect was taken, at his request, to a nearby apartment to sleep. The next day, the embassy was destroyed. The story is a powerful argument in favor of torture—or at least enhanced interrogations—except for one problem: Like Ben Ami's other story of the drowned terrorists (and most stories involving a "ticking time bomb"), it's apocryphal. It never happened. Real life is never that clean-cut. Ben Ami, however, forgot to reveal that to the Harvard law students. Realizing his mistake later that day, Ben Ami panicked. "I called Alan Dershowitz and said, 'It's wrong.' " As Ben Ami recalled, Dershowitz told him not to worry: "He said, 'No, it's a good story, leave it.' " From: Nathan Hodge and Sharon Weinberger Subject: Won't You Not Be My Neighbor? Posted Wednesday, March 12, 2008, at 6:51 AM ET CHECKPOINT ELIYAHU, Israel—At first glance, Checkpoint Eliyahu looks like a tollbooth on the New Jersey Turnpike. Westbound traffic is backed up for a few hundred yards in the late afternoon rush; a few trucks are pulled over for spot inspections. But look closer: The tollbooth attendants are carrying M4 carbines, a concrete pillbox looms over the highway, and there is no E-ZPass lane. Call it what you want—temporary security measure, border crossing, segregation wall—Checkpoint Eliyahu is part of the emerging geography of Israel and the Palestinian territories. The checkpoint, which straddles the highway between the West Bank towns of Qalqilyah and Nablus, is the perfect vantage point for viewing Israel's security fence, the defining feature of this new landscape. Israel began fencing off areas of the West Bank in the summer of 2002, claiming a legitimate defense against infiltration by suicide bombers and other violent attacks. A visit to the fence is now a mandatory stop on any roadside tour of the Holy Land. We had picked up our guide, Capt. Noa Meir, outside Qalqilyah, the small Palestinian town at the edge of the West Bank that has Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC become one of the most dramatic examples of the wall. Qalqilyah was not simply walled off from Israel. Because of the location of Israeli settlements to the north and south, the Palestinian town was quite literally fenced in. Residents of the city, who once had extensive commerce with Israelis, aren't just separated from Israel; they are separated from the world. Meir, a U.S.-born Israel Defense Forces spokeswoman, escorted our group over to the military watchtower that looms over a section of the wall outside the town. "The people defending us are not very happy we're here," she said. "There can be sniper fire." She distributed copies of "Israel's Security Fence: Defending Innocent Civilians From Terror," a brochure crowded with statistics and talking points. ("[T]he land used in building the security fence is seized for military purposes, not confiscated. … [S]pecial arrangements have been made for Palestinian farmers separated from their lands. … The security fence, whose only function is to provide security, does not seal off the West Bank.") From Qalqilyah or Tulkarem, the western edge of the West Bank, it's only about 10 miles to the Mediterranean Sea. Yet standing within spitting distance of an Arab town—one that elected a Hamas mayor, no less—clearly makes some members of our tour group uncomfortable, sometimes to comedic effect. We suddenly notice that Yossi Maimon, our tour guide and history lecturer, had a Mini-Uzi draped behind his back. One of the U.S. security consultants knelt nonchalantly in the dust. ("Don't want to be a sniper target," he explained to us later.) As we walked down the road, we half-expected someone to cry out, "Serpentine, Shel! Serpentine!" We rode with Meir to Checkpoint Eliyahu, where donkey carts waited in line next to passenger cars. At the checkpoint, there is no solid concrete wall—the fence is more like a military frontier or demilitarized zone, with a layered series of barriers that includes a ditch to prevent vehicle crossings, tightly coiled stacks of concertina wire, and intrusion-detection fences with pre-tensioned wires that can detect the slightest movement. Israeli security forces monitor the buffer zone with an array of high-tech surveillance equipment: cameras, pressure sensors, and thermal-imaging devices. Bedouin trackers patrol the dirt roads adjoining the barrier, looking for errant footprints. The portion of the fence between Qalqilyah and the Israeli town of Kfar Saba is a concrete barrier around 28 feet high. The main purpose, according to the Israelis, is to prevent snipers from firing into Kfar Saba or at commuters driving Highway 6, a toll road that runs along portions of the Green Line. While the Israelis like to point out that the solid concrete walls form only about 4 percent to 5 percent of the total length of the security fence, those sections are emblematic of the Israeli government's effort to physically separate its population from the Palestinians. 24/140 As such, these sections have become a stop on the itinerary for peace activists and nongovernmental organizations. The wall even lured graffiti artist Banksy, who called the security fence "the ultimate activity holiday destination for graffiti writers." They are also an attraction for pro-Israeli groups that want to demonstrate to visitors what they see as the unique security needs of the state of Israel. Perhaps the most controversial aspect of the fence is that it does not correspond strictly to the Green Line—Israel's pre-1967 border—though Israel maintains that the wall does not denote a political settlement. While billed as a "temporary inconvenience" and "defensive measure," the wall has become a controversial form of eminent domain. "By taking 4 percent of the West Bank, we protect 75 percent of Israeli settlers," Meir said. Israel views the wall as a success. Since the construction of the fence, the number of suicide bombings in Israel has come down dramatically. Meir pointed to the overall 90 percent drop in terrorist attacks since the construction of the fence and a parallel drop in casualties as proof of success. No suicide bombings have originated from Qalqilyah since the town was surrounded by the fence. (Before the barrier, several suicide attacks originated there, including a particularly deadly attack on a Tel Aviv disco in 2001.) In 2007, not a single suicide bombing originated in the West Bank. "We're not stopping Palestinians from coming in; we're trying to stop terrorists from coming in," Meir said. Success, however, becomes justification, and the law of unintended consequences is at work for both sides. Members of the militant Islamic group Hamas swept municipal elections in 2005. Qalqilyah elected as its mayor a member of Hamas, who at the time was sitting in an Israeli prison. The town, which once had extensive commerce with Israel, is now off-limits for Jewish Israelis. The restricted access to Israel has meant lost income and unemployment for Palestinians, and the checkpoints reinforce for them the humiliation of occupation. The wall bottles in Palestinians, restricts their movement, and separates farmers from their land. Israel's security fence may be a technical success, but building a barrier along 2,000 miles of border is a different matter. Not long after our trip to Israel, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security announced approval of Project 28, a high-tech network of towers and sensors in Arizona that forms the prototype of a "virtual fence" that could eventually span the U.S-Mexican border. With U.S. politicians clamoring to seal the border with Mexico, it's tempting for them to look at Israel's high-tech fence as a model for border security. Not surprisingly, Israeli firms that specialize in surveillance technology and security barriers are racing to enter the U.S. homeland-security market. A U.S. subsidiary of Israeli defense firm Elbit Systems is a member of the Boeing-led team that won the U.S. border contract in Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC September 2006. Magal Security Systems, the Israeli company that builds the Perimeter Intrusion Detection Systems along Israel's borders, opened an office near Washington in late 2006 to focus on the U.S. homeland-security market. But the history of walls is rife with mixed results: The Great Wall of China ultimately failed to stop foreign invaders; former Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara's electronic barrier in Vietnam could not halt Viet Cong infiltration; and the Berlin Wall lasted only 28 years. The United States' border experiment, as the newest entrant, has been plagued by equipment and software glitches. Thus far, the Department of Homeland Security's "virtual fence" spans just 28 miles. So, do walls work? We asked this question to Asa Gil-Ad, chief superintendent of Israel's National Police. He reminded us that the year's reprieve against suicide bombs had coincided with a rise in a new sort of terror attack: Qassam rockets launched from Gaza. "They don't need to come here, to send their peoplemissiles," he told us. "They have these missiles that they fire, so they can terrorize an entire region." From: Nathan Hodge and Sharon Weinberger Subject: The World's Most Dangerous Bus Station Posted Thursday, March 13, 2008, at 7:14 AM ET JERUSALEM—"If this is such a goddamned hotspot, then I don't like standing in the middle of the street," declared fellow terror tourist Richard Marcinko as we lingered near the front entrance of the Jerusalem Central Bus Station. In front of us, a crowd of Israelis surged through the metal detectors, busily shoving backpacks and bundles into the X-ray machines. By Day 4 of our tour of terror, one thing was certain: Paranoia was getting the better of us. We saw potential "hotspots" everywhere, and the security line in front of the bus station was now a chokepoint where we would be stranded in case of attack. What better target than a group of foreigners traveling in a bus prominently labeled with the sign: "THE ULTIMATE COUNTER-TERRORISM MISSION." Israel's mass transportation system is particularly high on the list of places to avoid, especially after reading up on the wave of suicide attacks aimed at buses and bus stations. It was precisely that series of bombings that led to the opening in 2002 of Jerusalem's new bus terminal, which was designed to incorporate new security procedures (and accommodate increased commuter traffic). Today, every person who enters the station must pass 25/140 through a metal detector and put their baggage through the X-ray machine. Well, almost everyone. A few words were exchanged between our tour leaders and security, and our group was suddenly herded through the checkpoint with the wave of a hand. It helps to have a personal escort from the chief of security. Once past the gate, we entered the cavernous shopping-mall interior, where army conscripts on leave mingled with civilians shopping for mobile-phone accessories and lining up for slices of pizza. Just a few years ago, the bus attacks held Israelis in the grip of mass anxiety, a sort of collective nightmare that has become a rich, raw subject for everything from documentary films to graphic novels. Today, the new bus terminal is one of the country's main transportation hubs, and everything has a sort of eerie placidity. We were led through the underground parking lot to the main security command post, where a handful of guards were monitoring a bank of TV screens. A network of 84 closed-circuit cameras can peer into almost every corner of the bus station, but the security professionals in our group were less than impressed: Beyond the CCTV system, the bus station featured none of the fancy biometric detection technology that has been developed in Israel. The chief of security even conceded that his security officers were not on the lookout for anything beyond "suspicious behavior." Still, the security measures were strict, at least compared with a Greyhound terminal. We had more questions, but our guides were eager to show us the next attraction. "Come on, guys!" tour leader Yossi Maimon said. "We're going to see a bulletproof bus." Rows of the hulking green vehicles, which ply the more hazardous routes to settlements in the West Bank, were lined up in the underground parking garage. Security comes at a price. A bulletproof bus—which features a blast-resistant hull and ballistic glass—costs twice as much as a regular bus, more than half a million U.S. dollars. While well-armored, they are not invulnerable; they come equipped with GPS tracking systems and video cameras that allow army headquarters to hear and see inside the bus in an emergency. To the casual observer, Israel's bus terminals have the level of security you might find at a U.S. airport. But security at the Jerusalem Central Bus Station was nothing compared with BenGurion International Airport, where we were also treated to a similar behind-the-scenes tour. Ben-Gurion is supposed to be the gold standard for airport security. And it has an impressive track record: While there have been terrorist attacks directed at the airport, no aircraft originating from Ben-Gurion has been successfully hijacked. That makes it an attractive model for U.S. airports. Airport Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC security directors from the United States have visited BenGurion to study Israeli security; Boston's Logan International Airport even hired its former director of security. But if Israel is the model for airline security, then what we saw stood in surprising contrast to what is going on in U.S. airports. The U.S. Transportation Security Agency is pouring millions into new-fangled contraptions ranging from facial readers that will detect "hostile intent" to shoe-bomb screening equipment. But walking through Ben-Gurion airport, we realized that the focus was not on the technology, per se. The system instead relies on layers of security that begin at the outer perimeter of the airport, which is cordoned off with the same kind of pressure-sensitive fencing used in Israel's security barrier. All vehicles pass through an inspection long before they approach the terminal. Nahum Liss, the head of security at Ben-Gurion, did not go into great detail on what is the most controversial aspect of airport security in Israel: ethnic profiling. Just last year, Israel did away with tagging luggage by color, a system that was accused of discriminating against Arabs, but Palestinians and Arab-Israelis still frequently complain of extra screening. Liss, for his part, claimed that profiling didn't focus exclusively on looking for terrorists; rather, they are looking for people duped into carrying something for a terrorist. "We can detect an attacker, we are not afraid of that," Liss told us. "We are afraid of other passengers who are naive or innocent. That is our big concern." After an hourlong lecture by Liss, we were escorted into a back area, a dismal, utilitarian room decorated with tattered old posters, including one that read, "Have Faith in Israel." Those selected for an additional round of screening—based on profiling—are taken here for further questioning or body searches. A bottle blonde wearing the uniform of the Russian devushka (hot pants, Prada bag, and stiletto-heeled boots) emerged from a dressing room. In fact, one of the members of our tour group, a Japanese-American woman, had already paid a visit to this same room; upon her arrival, security officials were apparently suspicious of the visas for Afghanistan and Iran in her passport and had questioned her for half an hour. So, what, then, is the profile of a terrorist? Halfway through our tour, we paused to take a break on the tarmac, where we realized that we—a motley group of foreigners with backpacks and digital equipment—had ambled through the world's most secure airport, including off-limits areas, without so much as a pat-down. No metal detectors, no X-rays, not even an ID check. Sitting in clear view of airplanes waiting for international flights, we wondered what could justify such a breach. Was this evidence of what Liss called a "common sense" approach to security or simply proof that no system is completely fail-safe? 26/140 As we walked out through the employee gate, we stopped at the bin of confiscated items—a huge collection of nail scissors and other forbidden objects. One of the things Liss mocked—even though Israel complied—were demands that such seemingly innocent items be confiscated. What is the point, Liss asked, of taking away nail clippers from a pilot who could easily send the plane into a suicidal plunge? "There is no 100 percent security," he said. "If you want 100 percent security, you'll get zero percent aviation activity." From: Nathan Hodge and Sharon Weinberger Subject: The Human Problem Posted Friday, March 14, 2008, at 7:23 AM ET JERUSALEM—Spending a week on a tour of terror is not particularly relaxing. After a week listening to briefings on terrorism, our mood had darkened. As we walked past the cafes of Jerusalem, we found ourselves staring suspiciously at large backpacks and at people with their hands in their pockets. A simple stroll through Jerusalem became a constant reminder of terrorist attacks over the years: There's the intersection of King George Street and Jaffa Street—just a few blocks from our hotel—where, on Aug. 19, 2001, a suicide bomber entered a crowded Sbarro restaurant, setting off an explosion that killed 15 and wounded 130. Even small cafes now employ a security guard to check bags and watch for suspicious behavior. As we walked through the streets of Jerusalem on our final day, we wondered why Israel had been so quiet over the last year. This question went to the very heart of our counterterrorism tour: the notion that Israel has somehow figured out how to win, or at least hold at bay, the "war on terror." Over the course of the week, we had heard many explanations for the lull in attacks: the wall, the layers of security that protect key sites, and the legal system, which allows Israel to quickly lock up suspected terrorists. But Roni Shaked, a former commander in Israel's Shin Bet, gave us what he felt was the real explanation behind Israel's success. "The main, main reason why it's quiet, I think, it's just because of the Israeli security service," Shaked had told us on the first day of the tour. "Because during those years, we understood how to fight against the new kind of terrorism, how to fight against the new phenomenon of terror, the suicide bombers who are in Israel." Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC According to Shaked, Israel's success rests on several decades' worth of experience infiltrating Palestinian society. Shaked even brought with him living proof: Sami, a Palestinian collaborator from Hebron, who had worked with Shin Bet for more than three decades. (Even though Sami's identity is well-known in the West Bank, we were asked to use only his first name for this article.) It did not particularly surprise us that Israel had collaborators (during one lecture, we were told that one-third of Palestinian prisoners were informers). But finding one who would want to speak to our group—whose tour guide lectured us on the "Arab mindset," the "myth of the Palestinian people," and even the evils of the "Arab goat"—was slightly surprising. Still, for nearly an hour, Sami, the only Palestinian (and the only Muslim) to speak to the group during the tour, politely answered our questions. He said he first started working with Shin Bet after witnessing a grenade thrown near a holy site in Hebron in 1969. He was outraged by the disregard for innocent civilians. He eventually became a trusted agent, he recounted, even penetrating a terrorist cell to provide intelligence to Israel. It was also not difficult to understand why a Palestinian would be outraged by the indiscriminate nature of terrorism or even cooperate with the Israeli government, but Sami's story could hardly be called typical. Even when the Israeli army accidentally killed one of his children, Sami's allegiance remained with his handlers. "Two weeks after what happened, Hamas sent me people and said, 'Look what the Jewish people did to your son. Come and work with us.' I told them that I choose my way, and my way of life." What happened to his son, he told us, was God's will. After numerous death threats, Sami eventually fled with his family from Hebron to Jerusalem. Now retired in Israel, and with Israeli citizenship, he told us that he receives a modest pension from the government. In the West Bank, he's a wanted man. Sami is one part of how Israel has fought terrorism: infiltrating the West Bank and its terrorist organizations. But in Jerusalem, particularly the Old City, the police have gone one step further, creating a sort of Panopticon, where visitors and residents are under persistent surveillance by closed-circuit cameras, military observation posts, and police patrols. Riot police are always on alert, and plainclothes officers patrol the maze of medieval streets while oblivious tourists enjoy their falafel. On our last day, our group paid a visit to Mabat 2000, a monitoring station at police headquarters in the Old City, just behind the Jaffa Gate. We were ushered inside the high-tech command post, where uniformed personnel watch a bank of TV screens and a "big board" that can zoom in on different points of interest inside the city. More than 300 cameras are installed at different points around the Old City in addition to sensors and listening devices. Directional cameras can zoom in on suspicious 27/140 individuals, vehicles, or objects. Alarms and digital pings made the place sound like a 1980s arcade. The Old City, to state the obvious, is a high-risk area. Four traditional communities—Muslim, Jewish, Armenian, and Christian—are crowded within its walls. And in addition to the profound emotional and political pull it exerts, the place is a magnet for god-botherers and end-timers as well as tourists. The police have a dedicated unit for the Temple Mount, where the Second Intifada kicked off in 2000. The commander showed us some of the surveillance tape of the uprising. As in the opening credits to The Wire, the video concludes with a Palestinian bashing the lens of the closed-circuit camera with a well-aimed paving stone. Eventually, someone shimmies up the pole and rips the battered camera loose from its housing. It's a costly setup and one that has some obvious cracks at the seams: It depends on people. As anyone who has seen the Transportation Security Administration at work knows, watching security cameras can be a stultifying job. But this is Jerusalem; we were just a few hundred yards from the city's holiest sites, which are supposed to be guarded by the most alert, aggressive, and watchful security force. As we watched the commander give his presentation, one of the young officers on duty—a draft-age Israeli with a close-cropped haircut—quietly dozed off at his post. Head resting on hand, he slid into his chair, oblivious to his commanding officer standing behind him. At first glance, Israel is the ultimate high-security state. And the main purpose of the Ultimate Counter-Terrorism Mission was to sell U.S. security professionals on Israeli know-how and technology. Many of our stops and lecturers—including Sami— make frequent appearances on itineraries for visiting delegations. Israel boasts of its security: the fence, the seemingly impregnable Ben-Gurion airport, and a legendary intelligence network. But it comes at a price that Americans may not be ready to accept: metal detectors at the entrance to shopping malls, military courts, and conscription. regarded as one of the highest-risk areas in the Old City. We walked through the metal detector, manned by two boredlooking guards. We dutifully emptied our pockets and placed our bags on the conveyor belt of the X-ray machine. One guard chatted on the phone, the other watched impassively as Adar, dressed in civilian clothing, walked through the detector with her gun concealed under her jacket. The alarm didn't go off; neither guard asked for her ID. After passing through the checkpoint, Adar turned back around to face the guards. "Why didn't you stop me?" she demanded, pulling out her police ID. Adar upbraided the guards for a full minute, as they meekly made excuses. ("Well, he's on the phone …" one protested.) As she lectured them, we thought about all the barriers, cameras, and sensors; we thought about the intelligence agents and informers; and we thought about all the wizardry, gadgetry, and gimmickry that Israel puts into stopping terrorism. Yet it could all come down to this: two bored guards at a checkpoint. "Why didn't it go off?" Adar demanded, pointing to the mute detector, topped with a blinking red light. "The alarm is broken," one guard replied sheepishly. "They haven't fixed it yet, but we're watching the light." dispatches Notes on Fashion Week What's everybody scribbling about in their notebooks? By Josh Patner Friday, February 8, 2008, at 6:50 PM ET From: Josh Patner Subject: Is This the Seedy Underbelly of New York Fashion? In the meantime, Israel's war on terrorism is hardly peaceful. The military recently stepped up raids on the Gaza Strip, another spike in ongoing operations inside the Palestinian territories. There are constant nightly incursions: a terror suspect arrested one night, a rocket lab discovered on another. Suicide bombings have dropped precipitously, but rockets from Gaza now rain down on southern Israel, and, tragically, the temporary lull in terror attacks has done nothing to solve the underlying IsraeliPalestinian conflict or the plight of Palestinians. What, then, does Israel's fight against terrorism teach the United States? Posted Wednesday, February 6, 2008, at 2:43 PM ET We contemplated that question on Saturday morning when Talia Adar, a reserve police officer, took us on a tour of the Old City while most of our group took off for a day at the Dead Sea. After a walk through the four ethnic quarters, we followed Adar through the security checkpoint that leads to the Western Wall— No free Evian (the "official water" of Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week, a term that refers to the show held in the Bryant Park tents) was distributed. There were no cushy banquettes like those temporarily installed at great cost in the Chelsea galleries used by Halston. Telfar's clothes—unisex uniforms with exaggerated Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Sunday night, while fashion's powerbrokers were on their way to Diane von Furstenberg's post-show dinner at her Meatpacking District headquarters, a 22-year-old designer named Telfar, who has been in business for three years, showed his collection at St. Mark's Church in the East Village. It was a full house. Not a powerbroker in sight. 28/140 proportions, referencing the late-'80s avant-garde—were made with care. The production—models with asymmetrical, neoncolored hairpieces marching through pools of light—was impeccable. This isn't exactly the seedy underbelly of New York Fashion Week, but when compared with the megabrands showing in Bryant Park, it can feel that way. Is there an independent fashion vision to be found in New York? It's an important question. Fashion people are always looking for new talent "discovered" far from the central action, the hand-tomouth designer who does what he can with what little he has. These hopefuls find different fates: An early John Galliano breakthrough show happened in a borrowed hotel particulier in Paris. Today, he is perhaps the biggest name in that city. Miguel Adrover thrilled New York with one of his very first shows, which included a coat made from Quentin Crisp's mattress. Adrover found it in the street, and now finds himself out of business. Telfar is not well-known by the fashion establishment, but he does have some fashion cred, and fans at the show praised him for offering "a ray of hope in a monotonous city" and for playing with shape. The appeal of a show like this? "It's not about selling clothes," one fan said. "It's a different experience." But anti-commercial doesn't necessarily mean good. Telfar offered a collection for 9-to-5 New Yorkers plowing through the daily grind. A few items were intriguing. Although the fashion outsider would roll his eyes at the thought of wearing a jersey jumpsuit on Wall Street, especially one that could also be worn by a woman, some of the pieces had a youthful elegance. For people who ask, "Who would wear that?" Telfar has an easy answer: He sells his collection to downtown groovesters at boutiques like Pixie Market and Oak. But some of his looks raised another, more difficult question: "Why would I buy that if I already own it?" The less extreme pieces shown looked like basics from American Apparel. As the models began to trot, questions kept rising: Why do people respond to one basic black turtleneck and not another? How does a new name get known? How much time should a young designer be given to find his own vocabulary or to make something new from what has gone before him? And, most importantly, when does "referencing" another designer's work go too far? Here was a veritable inventory of avant-garde clichés: The ugly-can-be-beautiful mood could be traced to Andre Walker, a brilliant American designer who used to show in Paris and has since consulted on Marc Jacobs' collections. The mannish, exaggerated silhouette was Yohji Yamamoto's. The neon hair was Rei Kawakubo's. Ragamuffin sweaters recalled Martin Margiella. The designer's layered references finally made sense—and gelled into something genuinely new—in a standout draped, gray-velour sweatshirt. It was Vionnet via Gaultier via Telfar. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Referencing, of course, is nothing new in fashion. What designer hasn't had a go at Chanel's cardigan jacket and little black dress? But if Telfar was going for a postmodern layering of easily identifiable imagery, he seemed to have no new ideas or new points to make. The retrospective might have been stronger had it been offered up in shocking color or eco-friendly fabrics. But Telfar was showing the same old wooly black. Is this really New York's vanguard? Yes. And it will do in a pinch. No one in the audience seemed to care that the designs had all been seen before, and surely a 22-year-old designer deserves time to grow. "He's starting with what he knows," said Oak co-owner Louis Terline. "This is what fashion looked like when he was a kid." The truth is, New York is lucky to have Telfar, if only for the emotions he stirs. People want a renegade, even one who is less than fully charged. Question of the Day (send yours to josh.patner@gmail.com): What would happen if a normal, everyday, noncelebrity type of woman (who happened to have exquisite taste, btw) got a ticket to one of the bigger designer shows, and just walked up and sat down in the front row? What if I refused to give up my seat to Demi, or, God forbid, Tara Reid? What would they do? Kick me out? The simple answer is: yes. If you sat down in a reserved seat at the symphony or on an airplane, wouldn't you expect to be kicked out of it? Your exquisite taste is irrelevant to a designer hosting a fashion show. A front-row celebrity—with or without taste—is, on the other hand, entirely relevant. She may be a friend or client of the designer, or both. She may be the designer's muse. But whoever she is, the one thing she is likely to provide is free press. What will your exquisite taste provide? While it's true that people (myself included) do occasionally upgrade themselves to an empty front-row seat, they do so knowing they are courting the embarrassment of being asked to move. Noncelebrity front-row guests (press who are writing reviews and need to see the clothes in detail, and retail executives who are there to spend money) are there to conduct business, so they've earned their front-row seats. Consider that Marc Jacobs' show has only 130 front-row seats, and Michael Kors' only 200. Then calculate that each major magazine and retail team has about five front-row players. That's a lot of seats. If the person "your" seat was intended for didn't boot you, chances are the designer's PR team would. From: Josh Patner Subject: How Not To Bring a Label Back From the Dead 29/140 Posted Thursday, February 7, 2008, at 7:39 AM ET What is it about the legacy of Halston that trips up every designer who has tried to revive his name? His deceptively simple, minimalist aesthetic might be a part of it. Working with an absence of embellishment and a lean silhouette that rarely varied, Halston's clothes were masterful studies in cut, color, and texture. He could make a lavish gown using only one seam, flatter a variety of complexions with his powdery palette, and juxtapose airy chiffon with gutsy Ultrasuede (a signature fabric), only to make each more beautiful. But it's not impossible to reinvent minimalism: Raf Simons, the designer of über-clean Jil Sander, has shown that that aesthetic can evolve, even in the absence of a house's founding designer. Something else seems to elude all would-be Halston resuscitators. Marco Zanini, Donatella Versace's longtime right-hand man (he was the chief designer for both Versace's haute couture and ready-to-wear collections), needs to figure out what that is if he is to move past his lackluster debut as Halston's new capo on Monday at the Gagosian Gallery. With the backing of movie mogul Harvey Weinstein and former Jimmy Choo owner Tamara Mellon, Zanini is in a swell position to make magic where others have only made a mess. Nobody remembers Bradley Bayou's Halston (2002-2005). And though retailers say that Randolph Duke, who had his crack at Halston's slithery, one-shoulder dresses between 1997 and 1998, sold well, his clothes were oversexed for a label that once only suggested what went on behind closed doors. Zanini's clothes were pretty enough. But, frankly, who cares? The challenge in reviving the name of any designer who is dead is to think hard about what that designer might do if he were alive today. Halston had the double blessing of being talented and being a man utterly of his time. It is designers like these who change the way women dress. As the automobile was becoming commonplace, Gabrielle Chanel trained her chic eye on clothing that suggested a woman could move as quickly as a man, erasing Paul Poiret's lampshade silhouette with her gamine little suits. Christian Dior practically drowned his models in meters of rich satin after the fabric rationing of World War II. We already know Halston designed pretty clothes. What Halston really did, however, was to assert that American fashion—simple, convenient, elegant—had a place on the world stage at a time when Yves Saint Laurent's French extravagance ruled the day. Which brings us to Halston's models, the "Halstonettes." These women—icy blond Karen Bjornson; regal, ebony-skinned Naomi Sims—represented a mix of American faces. His clients were the most stylish of that era: Anjelica Huston, Berry Berenson, Liza Minnelli. Where were these strong and varied women in Zanini's lineup? His pinheaded, young, white models projected nothing of the strength of Halston's famous castings. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Who, exactly, is Zanini hoping to dress? Who are today's Halstonettes? Ms. Mellon, long brown hair flowing, wearing bold black-and-gold sunglasses and a shimmy of a jersey dress, looked more relevant than anyone in Zanini's show. Perhaps the problem is that Zanini, like his predecessors, has reduced Halston to less than the sum of his parts. Halston was not all pure palette and one-shoulder dresses. You need only see pictures from the early shows held in his East Side townhouse, which was decorated with batik-draped walls, orchids, and East Indian furniture by Angelo Donghia*, to understand that. Where were the hand-painted stripes? The incredible floral prints? Deeper, and more stylish, thinking is needed to free this house from legacy. Question of the Day (send yours to josh.patner@gmail.com): Is it really necessary to have fashion weeks in four different cities? What are the differences between the locales? Fashion weeks are filled with glamour and celebrities, but they are, essentially, trade shows, opportunities for manufacturers to present their wares to buyers. Each country that is a serious producer of fashion has its own fashion week. Today, in addition to New York, London, Milan, and Paris, fashion weeks are held in Tokyo, São Paulo, and Moscow. For a long time, the four major fashion capitals had identifiable styles. Milan was known for streamlined clothes and industrial might. (Giorgio Armani is an example of the first; the nowdefunct Genny Group, which produced Genny and Byblos, in addition to other labels, is an example of the latter.) Paris "owned" extravagant femininity (the applied decoration of Christian Lacroix or Valentino) and the experimental (Yohji Yamamoto, Commes des Garcons). London meant social commentary on the one hand (Vivienne Westwood's punk) and ladylike fashion on the other (Jean Muir). And New York was known for sportswear (the interchangeable separates of Perry Ellis, Calvin Klein, Ralph Lauren, Donna Karan). In the early '90s, though, designers began to be plucked from their home countries to design big-name collections abroad. (Oscar de la Renta, a New York designer, once also designed for Balmain, in Paris. Gianfranco Ferre, from Milan, once designed for the French Christian Dior. Marc Jacobs, whose own business is based in New York, now also designs Louis Vuitton, in Paris.) Today, when Brit Jonathan Saunders shows in New York and American Rick Owens shows in Paris, national distinctions are all but irrelevant, though I'd argue that, at their best, the collections do reflect those core aesthetics. Correction, Feb. 8, 2008: The article originally referred to Angelo Donghia as Angela Donghia. (Return to the corrected sentence.) 30/140 From: Josh Patner Subject: What's Everybody Scribbling About in Their Notebooks? Posted Friday, February 8, 2008, at 6:41 PM ET Maybe you've seen them on TV: the fashion people taking notes. As the lights dim and the music rises, men in suits and women dressed to the hilt grab their Smythson notebooks and start scribbling. What, exactly, are they writing down? Fashion is big business, and the income generated by magazine publishers and retailers begins in those scribbles. In the midst of the free promotions, the film crews, The Donald and The Melania, the furs, and the attitude at New York Fashion Week, hundreds of professionals are getting down to the business of logging their first impressions. The rapid-fire notes fashion people make often include adjectives describing mood or attitude, notes on colors or fabrics appearing repeatedly from show to show, and emerging silhouettes and proportions. These trends—pattern-mixing, for example, or metallics—will be discussed in fashion meetings at magazines, buying offices, advertising agencies, and cosmetic empires. Who is the woman of fall 2008? And how do we sell her? But the clothes aren't the only things being studied. Everything at a show is a signal, and everything gets written down. Even the music, which is carefully selected to help convey the season's mood and attitude, gets noted. At Michael Kors' Mad Men-inCamelot show, Kennedy-era styles paraded in front of a huge projection screen with live video feed of the 200 photographers flashing away at them. The message was: Big Time Glamour. Zac Posen stacked gilt ballroom chairs from floor to ceiling at the entrance to his runway. The message: Big Time Skirts. (In a ballroom with gilt chairs, women wear big ball skirts.) If the New York collections—and the notes fashion people were making on them—are any indication, both will be big-time trends this season. Note-taking methods are as idiosyncratic as the note-takers themselves. "I list the clothes on the left side and the accessories on the right," says Anne Slowey, the fashion news director of Elle and Elle Accessories. "The silhouette gets a big arrow in the top corner." Linda Fargo, the fashion director of Bergdorf Goodman, who is responsible for registering the trends in advertising and in the buyers' selections, tabs her notebook into sections. "I have different pages that I drop ideas into. I crossreference the book by designers, trends, and ideas for how to promote them throughout the season," she says. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Harper's Bazaar Editor Glenda Bailey takes avid notes. "I'm editing," she said, flipping through her sketches. "Choosing what goes on the cover, what stories go in the well, and when. That's my job. That's what I'm paid to do." Adam Glassman, the creative director of O, The Oprah Magazine, takes notes on how to distill esoteric trends for the masses while also looking for more glamorous clothes for the stars to wear on the cover. "Pattern-mixing with florals and textures," he gives as an example, "how does the everyday woman take that information into a department store or mall?" While most designers produce "look books" (numbered photographs from the runway), and everyone has access to the complete collections on Web sites like Style.com, many fashion people prefer to jot down what they see—and what they think of it. "I don't work with a computer," says Grace Coddington, Vogue's mythic creative director, who is famous for sketching nearly every outfit that passes by her. "Taking notes is more personal." But not everyone is a note-taker. New York Times fashion critic Cathy Horyn is less attached to her notes. "Sometimes I take them, sometimes I don't," she says. "I draw little drawings, and if I have a thought, I write it down." And some of the fashion world's most important powerbrokers don't take notes at all. Susan Morrison, the articles and fashion editor of the New Yorker, watches the shows intently and lets them "marinate and percolate" without writing anything down. Anna Wintour— undoubtedly the most powerful person in the industry—doesn't carry a notebook. "I have wonderful editors who have much better memories and drawing skills than I do," she says. Kim Hastrieter, the editor of Paper magazine, also skips the notebook. "I don't like too much stuff," she says. "My eyes are my notes." Question of the Day (send yours to josh.patner@gmail.com): I would like to know, seriously, why fashion people think that some of these super-super-starved-looking models' bodies look good? I get that clothes hang better on skinnier bodies, and I'm not asking as some kind of feminist statement, or because skinny models send a bad message or make us feel bad about ourselves. I just seriously think that a lot of them look BAD. What gives? I couldn't agree more with you: Nothing is less stylish, or more inappropriate, than showing clothes on unhealthy looking models. But I also can't help wondering if you have been looking at the models this season. Anorexia was much in the news last season, when the appearance of bony spines and knobby elbows on the runways caused enough concern that Anna Wintour and the Council of Fashion Designers of America held a press conference to discuss initiatives to address the problem of malnourished models. 31/140 Because of the heightened awareness this season—or perhaps just the damaging scrutiny from the press—New York runways have been essentially free of the offending, anorexic models. "The CFDA sent out letters reminding designers of the issue," says Fern Mallis, the senior vice president of IMG, which oversees Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week in New York. "I don't think it looked like an anorexic season. The message got out. Everyone thinks it's an important issue. The models' agencies are being more careful." I think the industry can proudly say their reaction was swift and effective. "I've only seen one girl that I thought looked too thin," says Teen Vogue Editor Amy Astley. Astley pays particular attention to the issue because of the impressionable age of her readers. "Chanel Iman, Karlie Kloss, I know these girls," she says. "They've been on my covers. I know their mothers. They are healthy girls. They eat." Anorexia isn't this season's issue. "The models are not getting skinnier, they're getting younger," says Astley. "They are very tall and slim, and they can maintain their model weight because they are young. It becomes harder when they hit 22, and that's when a lot of them stop doing shows." Karlie Kloss and Allie Stephens, two of the hottest models, are 16 years old.* (Underage models are accompanied by a parent at all times when they work.) But before anyone pulls out the soapbox, it's important to remember that fashion's obsession with youth is nothing new. Modeling legend Carmen del'Orifice began her career at the age of 14. Wouldn't it be great if the fashion industry has truly left the promotion of anorexia behind? "Every Fashion Week has its issue," Mallis says. "This season, it's the recession." Correction, Feb. 12, 2008: This piece originally misspelled Karlie Kloss' name. (Return to the corrected sentence.) dispatches Dispatches From Fashion Week The woman who taught Lindsay Lohan to sneer. By Troy Patterson Wednesday, February 7, 2007, at 7:39 PM ET From: By Troy Patterson Subject: Nobodies Strike a Pose Posted Friday, February 2, 2007, at 5:16 PM ET Week, when the practice of hanging on springs to life as a fullfledged cottage industry and the shimmering oddities of the city's night life get thrown into high relief. Thus, the party at the SoHo Grand on Thursday night—a gallery opening for a photographer named Jeremy Kost—wasn't a Fashion Week thing so much as a happening at the downtown-art-hipster fringe thereof, just another scene at the intersection of the image business and the Champagne industry. The SoHo Grand is a hotel, and if you've picked up a glossy magazine in the past five years, then you've heard of it. Pop Star X strides into an interview, turning heads. … Action Hero Y chews his salad with surprising humility. … The daytime decibel levels in the lounge are conducive to audio recording, and the place is so luxuriously bland that a celebrity profiler counts himself lucky when Starlet Z makes a joke about a stray bread crumb. The hard-core fashion crowd would rather be at the Gramercy Park Hotel—or at least someplace where they don't put a plastic band on your wrist as you enter a party, as if this were Spring Break in Myrtle Beach. It happens that Kost's new photographs—blown-up Polaroids with a mythic tilt, a tawdry grace, and a Nan Goldin glow of terminal decadence—are fun to look at. But the party was all about the pictures being snapped within the SoHo Grand's gallery. A dozen photographers swarmed and roamed and clicked away. Furiously. At anybody, everybody. If the subject was actress Mena Suvari, then so much the better. If it was some random gallery assistant or a friend-of-a-friend or a 15-year-old, then so what? The Web has given the street-style photo new life, and all the new kids are adept at striking this decade's party-page pose—chin angled coquettishly, mouth cryptic, eyes smiling with knowingness, best foot forward. I expressed my bewilderment at being photographed to a woman from the New York Times: "I'm nobody." She said, "You don't have to be anybody." A guy came up trained his lens on the space between my chin and sternum. Click click click. "I think he shot your scarf," said the Timeswoman. So, your correspondent must confess that, like a poser, he was wearing a scarf indoors. When in Rome, right? Right? It was really pretty harmless, considering claques of men in fur jackets, the stray women in stockings that cost more than shoes and shoes that cost more the month's rent. The photographer pointed his lens at another photographer. Click click click. A simple plan, a velvet rope, an open bar—it doesn't take much to throw a party in Manhattan, particularly during Fashion Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC 32/140 From: Troy Patterson Subject: Models Discuss Anorexia Over Pastry Posted Monday, February 5, 2007, at 6:31 PM ET Though one can feel confident that Fashion Week is the occasion for more degenerate late-night merrymaking than your average dental convention, it's hardly the moveable feast of Caligulan vice that popular fantasy supposes. It wasn't, therefore, an outright sham that today's panel discussion on eating disorders and the garment trade—an hour-long meeting devoted to the new health initiative of the Council of Fashion Designers of America—began at 8 a.m. Designers, editors, and casting agents indeed turned up early to witness, over weak coffee, one of those pieces of theater beloved by corporate-responsibility officers, politburo members, and their ilk since time immemorial. The members of the panel—a group including an M.D., a fitness trainer, and a nutritionist—were gathered to talk about the issue of unhealthy thinness among models. Remember, we're talking about problems within the fashion industry here, so you might need to recalibrate your definitions of such terms as "thin" and "health": In a hallucination sequence in the new, compulsively smirking Sarah Silverman Program, the Loch Ness Monster tells Sarah that she looks so skinny that he worries she's been ill, and she glories in the compliment. That's not the kind of health we're talking about. We're talking, for instance, about Ana Carolina Reston, a Brazilian model who died of complications from anorexia last November, and about the Association of Fashion Designers of Spain, which has banned models with a body mass index of less than 18. American designers have declined to follow suit, arguing variously that BMI isn't a reliable indicator of good eating habits and that regularly weighing the girls might itself contribute to the psychological pressures on them. And rather than issue any mandates, the CFDA put forward some "guidelines" a few weeks back: Keep models under 16 off the runway; don't let those under 18 work after midnight; don't feed any of them alcohol at work; "raise awareness." Can't argue with that. But arguing about the issues in any depth was, to the occasional frustration of even some panelists, a mere footnote to the panel. It was a piece of theater to express Sensitivity—an Oprah-era microdrama—and, as such, a modest success. The star was a model, of course. Natalia Vodianova spoke of her own struggle with eating disorders with conspicuous grace, quoting Oscar Wilde and elsewhere saying that her attitudes about food had been straightforward as a girl growing up Russia: "We ate to survive." This struck one as mordant wit … and then one started wondering what Fashion Week might have done to his irony meter. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Soon it was question time, and an unfocused discussion unfurled in a manner familiar to anyone who has ever turned on CSPAN2 or gone to college. A woman stood up, identified herself as the mother of a girl who died from an eating disorder, and sincerely lauded the CFDA for its effort. (Oddly, sadly, one person vigorously applauded her applause.) Another woman stood up to give the CFDA the obvious business about the halfmeasures it was taking, and the rebuttal, which said nothing, was artfully couched. Donna Karan ventured that the bulk of the responsibility for the problem lies with the modeling agencies. And then it was over, and the croissants and danish had gone mostly untouched. "Nice turnout," said one insider to another. "Well, it's a hot-button issue. This week." From: Troy Patterson Subject: The Woman Who Taught Lindsay Lohan To Sneer Posted Wednesday, February 7, 2007, at 7:39 PM ET "When they said there was going to be a cocktail reception, I thought it would be around 7," a young jewelry designer said at a strange little gathering this afternoon for Fashion Week's official accessories exhibit. "Well, you know." It was fairly late in the party—around 3:30 p.m.—so things were getting out of hand. A photographer had actually hustled a cater-waiter bearing white wine (a jejune Riesling) into a photo op, chanting anxiously, "This is the shot. This is the shot." Another man passed some canapés that rather too closely resembled open-faced tuna-fish sandwiches. The editor of the luxury magazine of the Asbury Park Press was in full and glorious schmooze. The venue was the lobby of Fashion Week's Bryant Park tent city, through which every attendee will pass this week, some of them eight times a day. One loves how the lobby's multibranded tackiness gives the whole game away. This is now MercedesBenz Fashion Week, so German cars flank the main entrance. DHL sponsors a "pickup" center that serves coffee. Chambord sponsors the coat check. MAC Cosmetics sponsors what appears to be a spot where sleep-derived journalists do stuff in Photoshop and mutter to themselves. There's an open bar that serves only drinks with dumb names. Such are the classier efforts. The accessories exhibit, following in this vein, showcases jewelry, shoes, sunglasses, and purses. There were items to appeal to consumers of many levels of income and taste; some things actually were quite cheap, others just looked it. Two- 33/140 hundred-dollar bags that looked like $400 bags. Peep-toe pumps designed for Payless. Seven-hundred dollar Timexes. Also, for some reason, vodka. It wouldn't have been a proper sales pitch without a celebrity attraction. This took the form of Rachel Zoe, the celebrity stylist implicated in how Lindsay Lohan dresses and, now, handbag designer, and Alek Wek, the Sudanese model and, now, handbag designer. When the two posed for pictures, Zoe faintly curled her upper lip in a way that suggested she'd also taught La Lohan how to sneer. When asked about the rash of starlets and socialites who launch their own lines of bags because it's the chic thing to do, Wek, a trained painter and an earnest woman, wouldn't take the bait: "I hope they're happy with what they're doing." The waiter never did make it into the shot with those two. He was passing German wine, or at least so said his T-shirt. election scorecard Election Scorecard The latest polling data on all the big races. Friday, August 15, 2008, at 7:00 AM ET soldier and Christian martyr. (They adopted Christianity under Roman rule in the 330s.) The Arabs, Ottomans, and Persians— who ruled over the country at various times until the Russians took control in 1801—chose to name Sakartvelo after its beloved patron saint, whose image dotted the art and architecture of the region. The American Georgia, on the other hand, was named after King George II of England, who granted the state its charter in 1732. The –ia suffix, meaning "state of," comes from the Greek and was tacked onto the end of many place names via the vast imperial and lingual legacy of the Romans. The name George became popular in Western Europe only after the Crusades, when knights traveling to the Holy Land came in contact with the widespread veneration of the saint among the Eastern Christians—in places like Georgia. (George became the patron saint of England in the 1340s.) Meanwhile, the saint's name derives from Greek and refers to a tiller of land. In that respect, both Georgia and Georgia live up to their names. We may refer to both the country and the state by the same name, but the homonymy of Georgia and Georgia doesn't exist in Russian. The soldiers storming the border this week might say they were advancing into Gruzia, as opposed to the American region—which they would pronounce as Gee-OR-gee-ah. Got a question about today's news? Ask the Explainer. explainer Why Are Georgia and Georgia Both Named Georgia? Explainer thanks Sue Davis of Denison University and Svante Cornell of Johns Hopkins University. What the Deep South and the former USSR have in common. By Noreen Malone Wednesday, August 13, 2008, at 7:03 PM ET explainer The Web site of the president of Georgia was temporarily moved to servers based in Atlanta, Georgia, over the weekend, after what appeared to be an attack by Russian hackers. The move was overseen by a Georgian-born executive at a technology company based in Georgia (the state), who happened to be on vacation in Georgia (the country) when the fighting started. Why does a country that was formerly part of the USSR have the same name as a state in the American Deep South? Both got their present-day monikers from the British. The name of the country comes from the Russian word Gruzia, which was in turn derived from the Persian and Turkish versions of the name George, Gorj and Gurju. It's not clear when the Brits started using the word Georgia in place of Gruzia, but scholars believe the switch happened sometime in the late Middle Ages. In their native tongue, Georgians refer to themselves as the Kartveli and to their country as Sakartvelo. But the Kartveli have for many centuries been associated with George, the Roman Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC The Afterlife for Scientologists What will happen to Isaac Hayes' legendary soul? By Nina Shen Rastogi Monday, August 11, 2008, at 7:13 PM ET Singer Isaac Hayes died on Sunday at the age of 65. Besides being a sex symbol, a soul-music legend, and a beloved voiceover artist, Hayes was also a dedicated Scientologist. According to his religious beliefs, what happens to Hayes now that he's passed away? His soul will be "born again into the flesh of another body," as the Scientology Press Office's FAQ puts it. The actual details of how that rebirth occurs are not fully understood by church outsiders, but some core beliefs of Scientology are that every human being is really an immortal spiritual being known as a thetan and that the "meat bodies" we inhabit are merely vessels we shed upon death. (Members of the elite church cadre known 34/140 as Sea Org, for example, sign contracts that pledge a billion years of service throughout successive lives.) When a body dies, its thetan forgets the details of the former life, though painful and traumatic images known as engrams remain rooted in its unconscious. In order to move up the path of spiritual progression—known as the Bridge to Total Freedom— one must eradicate these psychic scars, which cause a person to act fearfully and irrationally. Once a Scientologist has purged them through the counseling process known as auditing, he or she is said to be "clear." According to an avowed Scientology antagonist who claims, on her Web site, to present factual information typically omitted from church press materials, the official Scientology publication Celebrity announced that Hayes attained "clear" status around 2002, though it is not known whether he progressed onto the highest parts of the Bridge, the "operating thetan" levels. Details about what happens in these advanced stages remain closely guarded Scientology secrets, but at the very end of the process, thetans are supposed to gain power over the physical world; consequently, according to founder L. Ron Hubbard, they "feel no need of bodies," ending the cycle of birth and death and becoming pure, incorporeal souls. If Hayes had progressed high enough on the Bridge, he might have begun preparing for his next life in the final days of this one. According to former Sea Org member Chuck Beatty, some upper-level operating thetans are said to possess the ability to choose their next set of birth parents. In a widely reprinted 1990 Los Angeles Times article, Hubbard was quoted (apparently from a lecture given in the 1950s) describing how, after death, a thetan is carried to a "landing station" on Venus, where it is "programmed with lies," put in a capsule, and then "dumped" back on Earth, where it wanders in search of a baby to inhabit. Yet according to Laurie Hamilton, who says she has been a Scientologist since 1968, adherents are "free to accept or discard" such stories so long as they embrace the "methods and practices" of Scientology. One of the church's official Web sites stresses that a belief in past lives is not mandatory dogma but, rather, a personal truth that most Scientologists come to as they go through auditing. The Web site also stresses that Scientologists do not believe in "reincarnation." Unlike religions such as Hinduism and Buddhism, in which reincarnation functions as a kind of justice system—i.e., an individual's behavior in one life determines the caliber of the next—rebirth in Scientology is a more mechanical process. Hubbard described it as "simply living time after time, getting a new body, eventually losing it and getting a new one." Got a question about today's news? Ask the Explainer. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Explainer thanks Chuck Beatty, Stephen Kent of the University of Alberta, and Hugh Urban of Ohio State University. Thanks also to reader Mark Allender for asking the question. explainer Why Do Fencers Shriek? And other questions about the 2008 Olympics. By Juliet Lapidos Tuesday, August 12, 2008, at 6:34 PM ET Ever since 1,000 performers arranged themselves into the shape of a bird's nest during the Olympics' opening ceremony Friday, Americans have been befuddled by the goings-on in Beijing. With that in mind, the Explainer presents a roundup of questions related to the Games. What's up with Olympic fencers yelling at every hit? Tradition. Before electronic scoring (introduced at the Olympic level to épée in 1936, to foil in 1956, and to saber in 1988), two judges were positioned behind each fencer and would watch the opposite contender to see whether he'd been hit. A fencer would often shout something after executing a hit or "touch" to convince the judges that he'd been successful and also to energize himself. Now the shout is purely triumphant. Many fencers just shriek or roar after a touch, but some prefer "et là," which means "and there" in French—the official language for international fencing competitions. Why do the Olympic divers shower after every plunge? To keep warm. Diving venues are air conditioned and can feel especially cold after a dip in the pool. Competitors shower in warm water to keep their muscles loose and then often retire to a hot tub. They towel off shortly before the next dive so that their hands don't slip during tucks or other maneuvers. Why do younger gymnasts have an advantage? They're lighter. The best gymnasts must be short and muscular with low body fat, which gives them a high strength-to-weight ratio and a greater ability to lift themselves into the air. Girls reach their ideal ratio before puberty; after that point, between ages 14 and 18, they gain weight and have difficulty keeping up their strength. Some coaches also believe that younger gymnasts worry less—making them psychologically less encumbered as well. On Monday, former Olympic coach Bela Karolyi accused the Chinese of fielding 12- and 14-year-old gymnasts. If true, this wouldn't be a new practice: China's Yang Yun, for example, confessed during an interview on government-sponsored 35/140 television that she was only 14 when she won two bronze medals at the 2000 Sydney Olympics. Where does the U.S. Olympic Committee get its prize money? NBC, mostly. The USOC awards $25,000 to gold medal winners, $15,000 to silver medalists, and $10,000 to athletes who snag a bronze. According to the organization's contract with the International Olympic Committee, it's entitled to 12.75 percent of the revenue from U.S. broadcast rights as well as 20 percent of the revenue from global corporate sponsorship. The USOC also gets cash from brand licensing, fundraising, and grants. How does a hotel get more than five stars? Ask the Swiss. According to NBC broadcasters, the Pangu Plaza building complex, which overlooks Beijing's Olympic Green, contains one of the world's only "seven star" hotels. But there's no standard international evaluation system, and hotels in most countries max out at four or five stars. In the United Kingdom, for example, the Royal Auto Club, the English Tourism Council, and the Automobile Association score properties based on housekeeping, hospitality, food, safety, and exterior appearance, among other factors, before assigning up to five stars. The French tourist board uses roughly the same criteria, but four stars is the limit. In the United States, many hotel chains use Mobil Travel Guide's five-star award certification, based on service evaluations and unannounced facility inspections. The Swiss inspection-and-testing company SGS recently started offering a seven-star certificate for "extra-luxury" hotels. Inspectors look for central location, good design, and comfortable furniture in the communal areas, a high property value, continuous training for personnel, luxury chauffeurs, and butler services. The Town House Galleria in Milan, Italy, requested, and received, one of these certificates. Other hotels, like the Burj Al Arab in Dubai, are said to have seven stars. In fact, that hotel received the maximum five-star rating from the local tourism board and in official materials characterizes itself as "5 Star Deluxe." It's frequently referred to as having seven stars because of a media frenzy over its services—the Burj Al Arab boasts a fleet of white, chauffeur-driven Rolls Royces, private reception desks on every floor, and butlers. Got a question about today's news? Ask the Explainer. Explainer thanks Raymond Laederach of SGS, David Micahnik of the United States Fencing Coaches Association, and Virginia Polizzi of the Town House Galleria. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC family No One Likes a Cheater But no one likes a stickler, either. The letter and spirit of recess law. By Emily Bazelon Friday, August 15, 2008, at 7:07 AM ET One evening this spring, my family spent dinnertime dissecting what my older son, Eli, calls his "recess problems." The specific dilemma was whether, in a game of kickball, a kid could claim that because he'd fallen down when one of Eli's teammates pegged him on his way to second base, he wasn't "out." Was this a legitimate plea for mercy? Or was it cheating, dressed up as a sympathy bid? By the end of the conversation, my husband and I suspected the 8-year-old version of foul play, on a small scale. The kids on the other team had made up the "you're safe if you fall down" rule midgame. They didn't seem inclined to apply it uniformly—no one on Eli's team tried to invoke it, and he didn't think it would have flown if they had. Still, we were a bit uneasy about urging Eli on in his fight for the rule of law. He probably had justice on his side. But the more we talked, the more he kept stressing the letter of the law. At one point, he brought up the regulations for Major League Baseball. These, we gently pointed out, don't really have a place in the second-grade recess game of kickball. No one likes a cheater, for sure. But no one likes a stickler, either. What if your kid is the one who tends to wave the rule book while yelling "no fair"? Teaching kids about playing games is a subtle enterprise, when you stop to think about it. On the one hand, the point of a game is to win it. For some kids, the competition is itself a stumbling block—whether it's Monopoly or kickball or soccer, they back away from contests that end with winners and losers. These kids don't focus much on the rules; they're not invested enough. But then there are the kids for whom competition is an almighty thrill. They're not interested in just hitting a tennis ball around. They want to keep score. And once you're doing that, whatever the setting, the rules do matter. To break or bend them is to take advantage. And so it can be perfectly called for to object to cheating. The problem is that the point of playing games isn't only to win, most of the time. It's also to hang out with friends, have a good time, while away a sunny or rainy afternoon. Viewed through that lens, it's important to tolerate a little rule bending. Did the dice fly off the board? OK, roll them again. Game playing takes a lot of that kind of compromise and improvisation. We want kids to care, sure, but not so much that they send the board flying when there's a question about whether doubles means roll again. It's a lot to expect for kids to master all the nuances, to know when to let a stolen base go during a social kickball game, and when to insist on recording the out. 36/140 Recess is a real petri dish because for the most part, at least at Eli's school, the kids are on their own. The adults on the playground are there to make sure no one gets his head bashed in, not to set the kickball rules or run the game. This is the sort of learning opportunity I know I am supposed to welcome. And I do. But it also gives kids license to bully and manipulate one another. Over the course of a year of second-grade recesses, a pattern emerged. The dozen or so athletically minded boys (and very occasional girl) would get a game of kickball or football or wall-ball going. They'd play for a few weeks. And then the thing would break down, because one team had mysteriously been stacked with the good players or because no one could agree about the rules for stealing a base. (This, I'm told by adults who remember the game well, is a perennial kickball dilemma.) For a few days or a week, the boys dispersed. Eli found the no-game periods frustrating, but to me the break seemed like a way to diffuse tension. When the game heated up again and disputes broke out, we tried to counsel Eli to play fairly without demanding that everyone else play exactly to his specification of fairness. It remains a tall order. Last week, I watched him play a summer game of Monopoly with two friends. In a previous round, they'd agreed that you'd get $50 if you rolled snake eyes. But in this game, when one of the other kids rolled snake eyes, he decided it meant you got to pick up one of each Monopoly bill ($686 in total, I believe). Eli protested. Loudly. The other kids said that this was the first snake-eyes roll of the game and agreed to change the rules for everyone going forward. Eli kept protesting. I told him to pipe down. He was right, but only sort of, and not enough to insist. I wanted to curb his stickler impulses. After muttering about fairness for a minute, he simmered down, and the game kept going. An especially desirable outcome, since it was pouring outside. This week, Eli and his younger brother Simon are going to a small camp in Vermont that stresses creative play. There's kick the can and capture the flag, but the rules bend a bit for the younger kids, and it's easier than usual for everyone to get out of jail. The counselors play, which makes for a lot less fighting. Eli says he prefers the argument and competition of recess or, even better, league soccer. And I see his point and a place for that, too. Maybe the real goal of teaching kids to play games is to give them a chance to wrestle with their own extreme inclinations, whether weasel-like or rigid in nature. The cheaters have to learn to play fair, and the sticklers have to figure out when to let a few things slide, for the sake of the game. five-ring circus Explainer's Olympics Roundup Your questions about the Games, with answers from our archives. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC By Derek Thompson Wednesday, August 13, 2008, at 6:57 AM ET Soaring fireworks, falling records, and cinematic ceremonies marked the first few days of the 2008 Beijing Olympics. But what's to come? From gold-medal nibblers to the world's fastest dopers, Slate answers the questions you never thought to ask. Online reports have suggested that two members of China's renowned women's gymnastics team are too young to compete in the Olympics. China has provided records affirming their athletes' eligibility. Can't we bypass the paper trail and test their age biologically? No, we'll have to rely on the records. People don't have biological markers for precise age; there is no human equivalent for tree rings. Gerontologists have tried to measure old age by testing a range of age-related characteristics including hearing loss and joint flexibility, but at best this provides only a measure of "physiological age" instead of calendar years. Other organizations that have to document exact age, such as Guinness World Records, consult several different sources, such as birth certificate, marriage certificate, and photo ID. (For more on how to determine someone's age, read this Explainer from 2006.) At the 2004 Athens Games, Kenyan men swept the medals in the grueling 3,000-meter steeplechase. Kenya is expected to continue its medal onslaught in long-distance track events in Beijing. Why are Kenyans such successful long-distance runners? High altitude, running culture, and good genes. Most of Kenya's future Olympians were raised at high altitude, where running builds greater lung capacity as athletes grow accustomed to the thinner air. Some Kenyan children run 10 miles a day, in the hopes of using endurance running as a ticket out of poverty. More obscure theories have credited cattle herding and circumcision rituals for the Kenyans' success. (For more on why Kenyans are faster, read this Explainer from 2003.) Runners Usain Bolt, Asafa Powell, and Tyson Gay—first, second, and third all-time in the 100 meters—are set to race in what should be the fastest 100-meter dash in history. The Jamaican Bolt just set the world record in June, but many are predicting it won't last the Olympics. Just how accurate are the devices used to measure the fastest men on earth? They can record to the ten-thousandth of a second. Every track (and lane) differs in length by a tiny amount, so two runners racing at exactly the same speed might cross the finish line with times that differ by a fraction of a second. That's why times at short events are measured to the thousandth of a second but reported to the hundredth. Longer races require less precise 37/140 times. Officials can hand-time all races longer than 800 meters. (For more on track and field record measurements, read this Explainer from 2005.) You've seen it a hundred times: An athlete, flush from Olympic victory, wins the gold medal and nibbles on it like a chew toy in front of the cameras. Why are athletes always biting their gold medals? Theoretically to test their purity, but probably because everybody else is doing it. In their pure forms, gold and silver are actually "soft" enough to make tooth marks. In principle, you could use the "bite test" to see if a medal were pure, 24-karat gold. Of course, the Olympic gold medal isn't pure gold anyway. So Olympians can't really test the purity of the medal without a lot of practice. (For more on why athletes nibble their medals, read this Explainer from 2006.) Beijing Olympics officials established a gender determination lab in July to investigate whether some suspect female athletes are actually men. Is a "gender test" as simple as it sounds? No. You can't tell just by looking at genitalia because a person's anatomy might not match their chromosomes. But you can't simply count the X chromosomes, because some women have only one X and some biological males are XXY. Today the International Olympic Committee relies on a panel of specialists to account for all these ambiguities. Athletes who have undergone sex reassignment are allowed to compete alongside their new gender, provided they follow regulations. (For more on gender tests at the Olympics, read this Explainer from 2006.) Air-pollution concerns dominated the pre-Olympic news cycle. Now the Games are under way, and the attention has turned to Michael Phelps and the indoor swimming and gymnastics competitions. How will air pollution affect athletic performance during the outdoor games? We don't know for sure, but it certainly won't help. Athletes in competition breathe more than 20 times the amount of air inhaled by a normal person at rest. In Beijing, that could mean a supersized dose of ozone and fine particulates, which can reduce the amount of oxygen that gets to the muscles. But with Beijing's air quality yo-yoing from white-out haze to blue skies in a matter of days, it's difficult to predict what conditions Olympians competing outdoors will face. (For more on pollution and athletic performance, read this Explainer from 2007.) The head of the World Anti-Doping Agency has warned that drug scandals in Beijing—like the medal-stripping of worldclass sprinters Ben Johnson, Marion Jones, and Tim Montgomery—could drive away a generation of viewers Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC from the Olympics. How do you make an athlete give his medals back? You ask for them. When the Court of Arbitration for Sport ruled that Montgomery had cheated, the International Association of Athletics Federations sent him a request for the medals. Revoked Olympic medals can be reused. When the IOC strips an athlete of her gold, it can send that same medal to the woman who had received the silver. It's even easier to take back a medal while the Games are still going on. A Canadian official took the gold medal from Johnson during a late-night visit to his hotel room in Seoul. (For more on how to take a medal from an athlete, read this Explainer from 2005.) For many viewers, watching the U.S. women's gymnastics team compete Tuesday night brought to mind memories of Kerri Strug's impressive one-ankle landing after her vault in 1996. But at least one thing isn't the same in Beijing: the shape of the vault. Why the new equipment? In part to facilitate more impressive acrobatic feats, and in part to reduce injuries. The larger surface area has also made it easier for vaulters to perform difficult maneuvers that require handsprings on the approach. The front edge slopes downward and is thickly padded, so an accidental run-in hopefully won't cause broken bones. The table made its international debut at the 2001 world championships in Ghent, Belgium. (For more on the newish vault, read this Explainer from 2004.) During the parade of nations at the Beijing opening ceremony, you might have caught the Hong Kong team walking under its national flag, even though it's been a territory of China for about a decade. Puerto Rico has its own team, too, and its residents are all U.S. citizens. How can territories like Puerto Rico field their own teams? The International Olympic Committee, the governing body that makes all decisions about the administration and operation of the games, recognizes their National Olympic Committees. The Olympic Charter explains that "the expression 'country' means an independent State recognized by the international community," and the IOC recognized Puerto Rico as such an entity in 1948. The committee also recognized the U.S. Virgin Islands in 1967, Guam in 1986, and American Samoa in 1987. (For more on how a nonsovereign territory can field its own Olympic team, read this Explainer from 2004.) five-ring circus You Did Not Shoot Rainbows Out of Your Butt. Five-Tenths Deduction. 38/140 The latest from the SlateOlympics Twitter feed. Friday, August 15, 2008, at 7:03 AM ET For the next two weeks, Slate's going to be Twittering like mad about the Olympics and the surrounding hootenanny. Keep coming back to this page to read our 20 latest tweets, which will automatically update below. You can also follow us at http://twitter.com/SlateOlympics, and you can read more about our Twitter experiment here. (Note: The Internet Explorer refresh problem has been fixed. Please refresh often to get our latest updates!) Latest Twitter Updates follow me on Twitter . . . five-ring circus The 2008 Olympics A roundup of Slate's coverage of China and the Beijing Games. Friday, August 15, 2008, at 7:01 AM ET The Games "The Olympics Sap-o-Meter: On a night of dreams, NBC saves its syrup for Michael Phelps," by Josh Levin, Derek Thompson, and Chris Wilson. Posted Thursday, Aug. 14, 2008. "Dispatches From Beijing: You think NBC is bad? You haven't seen CCTV," by June Shih. Posted Thursday, Aug. 14, 2008. "Poor Kobe's Olympic Dream: A daily video from Slate V." Posted Thursday, Aug. 14. 2008. "Magnum Photos: Young Gymnasts." Posted Thursday, Aug. 14, 2008. "The Silver Lining: The U.S. women's gymnastics team overturned cultural cliches in the team event," by Meghan O'Rourke. Posted Wednesday, Aug. 13, 2008. "The Olympics Sap-o-Meter: Just like Michael Phelps: another day, another record," by Josh Levin, Derek Thompson, and Chris Wilson. Posted Wednesday, Aug. 13, 2008. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC "Human Nature: Olympic Inflation," by William Saletan. Posted Wednesday, Aug. 13, 2008. "Explainer's Olympics Roundup: Your questions about the Games, with answers from our archives," by Derek Thompson. Posted Wednesday, Aug. 13, 2008. "Why Do Fencers Shriek?: And other questions about the 2008 Olympics," by Juliet Lapidos. Posted Tuesday, Aug. 12, 2008. " 'Why Not Just Use Beavers?': NBC's visit to the Three Gorges Dam, and other Olympics coverage highlights," by Troy Patterson. Posted Tuesday, Aug. 12, 2008. "Down With the Perfect 10!: A mathematician explains the genius of the new gymnastics scoring system," by Jordan Ellenberg. Posted Tuesday, Aug. 12, 2008. "The Sap-o-Meter Widget: Embed our Olympics schmaltz tracker on your blog, iGoogle, or Facebook page." Posted Tuesday, Aug. 12, 2008. "The Olympics Sap-o-Meter: The sap reaches a record high. Blame mom," by Josh Levin, Derek Thompson, and Chris Wilson. Posted Tuesday, Aug. 12, 2008. " 'There's a New China Syndrome, and It's Called China Gold': The latest from the SlateOlympics Twitter feed." Posted Tuesday, Aug. 12, 2008. "Dispatches from Beijing: An American Tourist Is Murdered, and Conspiracy Theories Abound," by Tim Wu. Posted Monday, Aug. 11, 2008. "Introducing the SlateOlympics Twitter Feed: How to follow the Beijing Games 24/7," by Josh Levin. Posted Friday, Aug. 8, 2008. "Will Respirators Help Our Olympic Athletes?: Only if they put them on correctly," by Jacob Leibenluft. Posted Aug. 7, 2008. "China Goes for (All of) the Gold: Economists predict whether the host country will rule the Beijing Olympics," by Daniel Gross. Posted Aug. 7, 2008. "Summer Olympics Disaster Guide: Opening Ceremony Edition: The Olympics are all set to kick off. What could possibly go wrong?" by Lucy Morrow Caldwell, Kara Hadge, Nayeli Rodriguez, and Derek Thompson. Posted Thursday, Aug. 7, 2008. Slate V: Poor Kobe's Olympic Dream 39/140 "Full Speedo Ahead: Can Michael Phelps' cutting-edge swimsuit make me a better swimmer?" by Sara Dickerman. Posted Wednesday, Aug. 6, 2008. "Olympic Marathon: The best books, Web sites, and video to prepare you for the Beijing Games," by Rachael Larimore. Posted Saturday, Aug. 2, 2008. "Swifter, Higher, Cuddlier: Stop picking on Beijing's Olympic mascots," by Seth Stevenson. Posted Thursday, July 24, 2008. "Dara Torres, Demystified: Do the swimmer's 'secrets to success' hold up?" by Amanda Schaffer. Posted Wednesday, July 16, 2008. "Summer Olympics Disaster Guide: What could go wrong in Beijing? Everything," by Lucy Morrow Caldwell, Kara Hadge, Nayeli Rodriguez, and Derek Thompson. Posted Wednesday, July 2, 2008. "Passing on the Torch: Why are world leaders boycotting the Beijing opening ceremony?" by Jacob Leibenluft. Posted Friday, April 11, 2008. "The Carbon Olympics: Keeping track of the Olympic torch's carbon footprint—one leg at a time," by Chadwick Matlin. Posted Tuesday, April 11, 2008. "Boycott Beijing: The Olympics are the perfect place for a protest," by Anne Applebaum. Posted Monday, March 24, 2008. "Spielberg Bails on the Beijing Olympics: Will Darfur spoil everything for China?" by Kim Masters. Posted Thursday, Feb. 5, 2008. "The Olympics Take Beijing: The new city comes to my back yard," by Tom Scocca. Posted Monday, Dec. 3, 2007. The Culture "Dispatches from Beijing: Are the media being too mean to China?" by Tim Wu. Posted Tuesday, Aug. 12, 2008. "Wineglasses Rising: China's newfound obsession with wine," by Mike Steinberger. Posted Friday, Aug. 8, 2008. "Magnum Photos: Olympic Sights." Posted Friday, Aug. 8, 2008. "The Beijing Olympics: a Visitors' Guide: What should I eat? How much should I tip? Is that kid peeing in the street?" by Tom Scocca. Posted Thursday, Aug. 7, 2008. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC "The Vanishing City: The life and death of Beijing's alleys," by Rob Gifford. Posted Thursday, Aug. 7, 2008 "Let the God Games Begin: How missionaries' attempts to evangelize at the Olympics were foiled," by Adam Minter. Posted Thursday, Aug. 7, 2008. "Magnum Photos: China's secret plot to look good in photographs." Posted Thursday, Aug. 7, 2008. "Ready, Get Self, Go!: China's younger generation discovers the identity crisis," by Ann Hulbert. Posted Wednesday, Aug. 6, 2008. "Beyond Wontons: A new cookbook showcases recipes from China's ethnic minorities," by Nicholas Day. Posted Wednesday, Aug. 6, 2008 "What's Up With Chinese Menus?: The stories behind 'chicken without sexual life' and 'bean curd made by a pockmarked woman,' " by Brian Palmer. Posted Monday, June 23, 2008. "China's SAT: If the SAT lasted two days, covered everything you'd ever studied, and decided your future," by Manuela Zoninsein. Posted Wednesday, June 4, 2008. "Seven Mysteries of China: Is porcelain addictive?" by Christopher Benfey. Posted Wednesday, April 2, 2008. "A Flipbook on China: A Magnum photo essay." Posted Friday, March 7, 2008. "How the Grinch Stole Chinese New Year: The government has banned many of the traditions associated with Chinese New Year—but the holiday may be staging a comeback," by April Rabkin. Posted Wednesday, Feb. 6, 2008. "A Political Scientist in China: How China is like a bicycle," by Ian Bremmer. Posted Friday, Oct. 5, 2007. The Politics "The Dissident Within: What a book about China's great famine says about the country's transformation," by Anne Applebaum. Posted Monday, Aug. 11, 2008. "Bush Owes to China: The Olympics ad this administration doesn't want you to see," by Bruce Reed. Posted Monday, Aug. 11, 2008. "The Party vs. the People: What might the new populist protest in China portend?" by Minxin Pei. Posted Tuesday, Aug. 5, 2008. 40/140 "China's Tell-Nothing Ethos: What the man on Mao's right doesn't say," by Andrew J. Nathan. Posted Tuesday, Aug. 5, 2008. "The Chinese Earthquake Roundup: Can grieving parents have another child? And other questions about the tragedy," by Jacob Leibenluft. Posted Thursday, May 15, 2008. "Olympic Flame Out: China learns the price of a few weeks of global attention," by Anne Applebaum. Posted Monday, April 14, 2008. "China's Great Migration: Why would hundreds of thousands of people risk their lives to move to America and live as illegal aliens?" by Patrick Radden Keefe. Posted Wednesday, April 9, 2008. "The Last Days of Cheap Chinese: Why American consumers are about to start paying more for clothes, electronics, toys, and just about everything else," by Alexandra Harney. Posted Tuesday, April 8, 2008. "Why Does China Care About Tibet?: Plus, when are monks allowed to get violent?" by Nina Shen Rastogi. Posted Friday, March 28, 2008. "Live From Lhasa: Shaky cell-phone videos from Tibet foretell doom for the Chinese empire," by Anne Applebaum. Posted Monday, March 17, 2008. had week-low numbers. (With Debbie Phelps mostly out of sight, they were essentially playing a woman down.) Rescuing the night with a Lezak-esque performance, however, dreams tallied a record nine mentions. Sappiest Line of the Day: "It is unbelievable for Jonathan [Horton]. He's living a dream here."—NBC's Elfi Schlegel, setting the scene at the men's gymnastics all-around competition. (Emphasis on sap words is ours.) The Sap-o-Meter Tag Cloud adversity battled cancer cry death determination challenges courage dream emotion glory golden heart hero inspiration journey magic memory miracle mom mother overcome passion proud sacrifice spirit tragedy triumph "Trade-Offs: Is China the key to Africa's development?" by Eliza Barclay. Posted Thursday, March 6, 2008. five-ring circus For a primer on how the Sap-o-Meter works, check out our first entry. Did we miss your favorite moment? Send your Sappiest Line of the Day suggestions to sapometer@gmail.com. Sap-o-Meter History (click on any bar to read that day's entry) The Olympics Sap-o-Meter On a night of dreams, NBC saves its syrup for Michael Phelps. By Josh Levin, Derek Thompson, and Chris Wilson Thursday, August 14, 2008, at 4:18 PM ET The question facing NBC last night: What should a network do when there's no possibility of a Michael Phelps medal ceremony? The answer: Ration your syrup! The peacock's usually exuberant commentators, perhaps drained by Wednesday's record-setting performance, restrained their romanticizing last night. The resulting schmaltz score: an alltime low 27 Sap Points. five-ring circus Like the Olympic gymnasts in the men's all-around competition, the Sap-o-Meter produced strong but not soaring scores. Mom and mother mentions, which often anchor the team of sap words, From: Tim Wu Subject: An American Tourist Is Murdered, and Conspiracy Theories Abound Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Dispatches From Beijing You think NBC is bad? You haven't seen CCTV. By Tim Wu and June Shih Thursday, August 14, 2008, at 1:15 PM ET Posted Monday, August 11, 2008, at 12:22 PM ET 41/140 What would make you stab a 62-year-old tourist to death in the middle of the day and then leap off a 150-foot tower? That's a question you can't help puzzling over if you're in Beijing. What on earth was going on in the mind of Tang Yongming, the 47year-old man who stabbed two Americans and their Chinese guide over the weekend? Todd Bachman, the father-in-law of the U.S. men's volleyball coach, was killed in the attack. To be sure, the most probable explanation is that Tang was simply insane, or extremely frustrated for his own reasons, and somehow snapped, making the whole thing what officials call an "isolated incident." That's the official story—that Tang "was distraught over family problems," including two divorces and a son who was in trouble with the law. Yet the timing (the Olympics), the victims (foreigners), and the location (the ancient drum tower) have certainly left plenty of room for Beijing's residents and resident foreigners to speculate that something else was afoot. Here are the theories (from the partially grounded to the ridiculous) that I've been hearing. The murderer wasn't Chinese. This idea reflects on somewhat understandable disbelief that a Chinese person would want to ruin a time of national pride by killing a foreigner for no good reason. When I told the owners of a store in an alley near the drum tower about the murderer, they concluded, immediately, "He wasn't Chinese." They suggested that he was perhaps Malaysian, because Malaysians often look Chinese. When I insisted he was Chinese, their theory was that he probably wasn't Han Chinese (i.e., that he was an ethnic minority of some kind). The Americans got involved in a Chinese fight. At a foreigner's party, I heard it suggested that the murderer knew the Americans' tour guide and was perhaps even a jilted lover. He confronted her, the Americans heroically intervened to defend their guide, and in a fit of rage, out came the knife. Afterward, when Tang realized that he'd been possessed, so to speak, he leapt off the tower to his death. This explanation does make the event something like a mixture of United Flight 93 and the climax of The Exorcist, but it doesn't really explain why Tang was carrying a knife or what about the Americans prompted him to use it. An enemy of the party. A Chinese friend, last name Yang, who did graduate studies in New York, suggested early on that the killer could be an enemy of the Communist regime—like someone from the Falun Gong religious movement. The idea here is that killing a foreigner is about the best way to weaken the party—by making it look bad during the Olympics. The killing, therefore, would be a rather extreme form of protest. There's no evidence, however, of any such ties. What's interesting about this theory is the extent to which the Falun Gong is made out to be the Knights Templar or Freemasons of Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC China—that is, an exaggerated bogeyman sometimes taken as the source of all evil, a group vicious enough even to endanger the good image of the Olympics. In response to my doubts, Yang replied that the Falun Gong is capable of doing extreme things, such as persuading beautiful young women to set themselves on fire. An angry migrant (non min-gong). I heard early speculation that the killer was non min-gong—one of the generally mistreated peasant laborers who do manual labor for very little money. These fellows have been treated somewhat poorly as the Olympics have arrived, along the lines of "Thanks for building the stadiums—now get lost." The notion that Tang was an aggrieved laborer may represent some guilt the Chinese feel about the treatment of migrant workers. (A Chinese acquaintance also commented, rather unfairly, I thought, that a peasant laborer would be incapable of even understanding the idea that murdering a foreigner would be a way to send a message.) The idea was upended, though, when Tang turned out not to have been a peasant at all. Nonetheless, scaled down, the general idea that the killing was motivated by the frustrations of contemporary life has a ring of truth. (Another, quasi-related rumor that I heard: Tang was depressed because he lost all his money in the stock market.) A Neo-Boxer movement. In 1899, a secret cultlike group known as the Righteous Harmony Society, or the Boxers, began a campaign to purify China from all foreign influence, ultimately murdering more than 200 foreigners and thousands more Chinese Christians. For several months in 1900, the expats of Beijing and Tianjin were not to be found drinking in bars—as is today's tradition—but were holed up in fortresses holding out against the Boxers, until a wholesale foreign invasion saved their bacon. The Boxers were somewhat like a Chinese Ku Klux Klan, and so it seemed to me that a residual anti-foreigner movement might still be around. However, no one I talked to seemed to consider this remotely plausible. My friend Yang, for one, pooh-poohed this idea, reminding me that "we don't hate Westerners anymore; we hate the Japanese." A Cultural Revolution holdout. While we're in the realm of implausible theories, Dai, a young member of the Communist Party whom I've befriended, speculates that—while it's highly unlikely—Tang could have been protesting the general abandonment of socialism over the last few decades or could even be an extremely rare holdout from the Cultural Revolution. While the latter seems unlikely, there are definitely those who think China has gone too far toward capitalism, said Dai, and the Olympics are something of a symbol of this. A classic conspiracy. Classic conspiracy theories don't take much skill to make up, because they aren't required to follow the 42/140 usual rules of logic. Take, for example, this Internet idea that the murderer was a paid CIA agent, ordered to kill Americans to create trouble for China. Yes, that makes so much sense. From: Tim Wu Subject: Are the Media Being too Mean to China? Posted Monday, August 11, 2008, at 7:59 PM ET To say Beijing is eager to welcome foreign guests to the Olympics may be the understatement of the century. The new airport terminal features a welcome robot, there are "welcome booths" on just about every downtown street, the names of the Olympic mascots spell "Welcome to Beijing" in Chinese. If you're not careful, you may be walking down a normal street only to find yourself surrounded by eager volunteers clad in blue shirts who point out everything you ever wanted to know about Beijing and plenty more you didn't. In the Olympic Village, where the athletes live, friends say that the enthusiasm and attentiveness of the volunteers borders on harassment. The enthusiasm is understandable. Everyone keeps talking about the "100-year dream," and in a sense, Beijing has been waiting to host this—its international coming-out—since 1842 or so. That's the year China lost the Opium War and started a 160-yearlong search for respect. Much to the country's chagrin, it still isn't getting any. The Western media have arrived en masse to China's ball: lots of senior journalists, in sloppy dress, interested either in their own athletes or in writing their own big "China piece." (Foreign guests are here, too, but fewer than Beijing had hoped for, thanks in part to self-defeating visa policies.) Not surprisingly, the stories written about China by foreign journalists are rarely on topics China might have hoped for. The Western press is fascinated with the two P's: pollution and protests. For dessert, anything to do with Tibetan independence, censorship, or foreign visitors is also welcome. Sometimes all of these issues converge, like last Wednesday, when a gaggle of Americans put up a "Free Tibet" banner in Tiananmen Square on what happened to be a very smoggy day. Now that's a story. So are the media just being a little mean to China? It does at times feel akin to if coverage of the Atlanta Olympics were focused on the failings of the U.S. health care system and the plight of the American Indian. One foreign correspondent for a major American newspaper agreed, telling me, "In Athens the traffic jams were presented as the outgrowth of a hip Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Mediterranean lifestyle. Here they become yet another product of state repression." Chinese friends and strangers I've been chatting up on the street complain that the coverage is unfair or biased. "Maybe it's just a kind of cultural difference between Eastern and Western peoples," said Liu Shudi, a student I talked to in a cafe in downtown Beijing. She concedes that it's hard to get her hands on much Western media, but what she has seen (mainly CNN) seems "biased." "We worked so hard. Maybe we didn't do everything right, but we really did work hard. It's unfair." The cultural difference she's talking about is reflected in fangwen culture, which translates as "official visit." If you've ever done business in China, you know what fangwen is all about—a kind of formal tour that is meant to show how great the host's facility is, while the guest says admiring things. China was hoping the Olympics would be a nationwide version of fangwen. Instead, it is mostly getting fangs. Another theme that you hear is how much "hard work," or nuli, went into getting the city ready for the Olympics, which makes all the criticism more painful. Here is a Chinese commenter online reacting to the American cyclists who wore masks in the Beijing airport: "You are guests, you come to someone's home that has, through lots of hard work [nuli], been cleaned up, and who welcomes you very warmly. At this time, shouldn't you show friendliness and kindness?" But when I ask most of my reporter friends—that is, the Western media who live here—if the foreign press is being too mean, they say no, that China deserves the scrutiny it is getting. As one longtime resident said about the pollution, for instance, "China just blew it." In his view, China is backsliding on all kinds of promises it made, but the IOC "is down on its knees giving China a blowjob." A second theory put forward by reporters is that criticism of China is simply the kind of news an American audience is interested in—criticism sells. A third is that the whole point of giving China the Olympics was to subject it to foreign scrutiny that, for once, it might have to listen to. Reporter and food writer Jen Lin-Liu, who lives in Beijing, wrote in the New York Times that the whole project is backfiring—that "as China projects a new air of openness and tolerance as it rolls out the welcome mat for Olympics visitors, the government is cracking down on citizens." Lin-Liu is getting at the real paradox here. China's idea of what makes for a better Olympics for foreign consumption—tightened security and cleaning up marginal elements—is exactly what makes Western reporters crazy. If you're showing off for the fangwen, you want to clean things up, but the West wants to see the dirt, not the rug it was swept under. It's the dishonesty, as 43/140 much as the substance of what's wrong in China, that seems to get under the skin of Western reporters. Yet there may be something at the core of the Chinese complaint. It's a sense that no matter what China does, it won't really be accepted as an equal on the world stage, that it will always be left cleaning the toilet at the OECD country club. It might be that China is perceived as an economic and political rival to Europe and the United States, so that the old Cold War reporting instincts come out. But there's also the fact that China doesn't have the manners and grace of the richer countries, even if it has increasing economic and political clout. The question, then, is whether the negative coverage of China is completely rooted in substance or reflects something like class disdain for its uncouth ways. Beijing itself is an expression of the problem. With the exception of a few neighborhoods, the city is dynamic, but, frankly, not charming. It suffers from the current obsession with fazhan ("development"), which in urban-planning terms replicates the "giant soulless block" development style of Robert Moses and the American 1950s. Authenticity, which Western culture valorizes, isn't something that Chinese people or planners go for right now. There's a tendency to either modernize or tear down old structures, instead of trying to preserve their decay in the way Westerners like. It's all just a little too nouveau riche to get much respect. None of this is to trivialize the issues the media raise about human rights abuses, censorship, or the situation in Tibet and Xinjiang. For the most part, I happen to agree with the Western critics. But perhaps the key is the difference, as one longtime foreign correspondent puts it, between stories that are appropriately negative and coverage that's just downright cynical. There's no question that this cynicism is compounded by China's stiffness and eagerness to please. Right now, China is an awkward place that just wants to be loved—and that makes it particularly easy to kick around. From: June Shih Subject: You think NBC is bad? You haven't seen CCTV. Updated Thursday, August 14, 2008, at 1:15 PM ET To say that the airwaves are saturated with Olympics coverage here doesn't quite capture the feeling. Several of China Central Television's channels, as well as the local Beijing and other provincial channels, have given themselves over to 24/7 coverage of the games. Weeks before Friday's Opening Ceremony, we'd already seen endless rebroadcasts of the Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC monthslong torch relay. Watch Torchbearer 61, a pudgy local government official, pass the torch to Torchbearer 62, a tall gangly European man from the United Nations! See the torch in the streets of Chengdu! And Tianjin! And in the outer Beijing Suburbs! And in Tianjin—again! Now that the games have actually started, a viewer can find live broadcasts of everything from archery to volleyball all day long. Television anchors are endlessly cuing up musical montages of Chinese gold medal performances in weightlifting, shooting, gymnastics, and diving. When not broadcasting events, Chinese programmers are filling the airwaves with features such as "Mothers Who Are Also Olympic Competitors" and "Kids Who Have Shaved the Olympics Logo Into Their Heads." Enthusiastic coverage is of course not unique to the Chinese—I remember watching my share of slo-mo U.S. medalist montages set to Whitney Houston's "One Moment in Time." But what's on television in China right now shows what happens when you combine tight state control with typically overwrought, patriotic sports coverage. CCTV is like NBC on steroids … and growth hormone, and EPO, and albuterol. Having come to Beijing with my reporter husband (who's been scrambling from venue to venue, pulling stories together), my elderly, mobility-impaired parents, and a toddler who takes long naps in the afternoons, let's just say that I've had a lot of downtime in front of my Beijing boob tube. If you're going to rely on CCTV to bring you your Olympics, you've got to care about the Chinese teams. This, actually, is not a huge problem for me. I am an American, but I've rooted for the Chinese in Olympic sports since I was 12, when China sent its first full team to the Los Angeles Olympics. (Please don't revoke my citizenship.) I like to root for the underdog, and in 1984, the Chinese were the underdog against the dominant Americans, who racked up gold medal after gold medal in the wake of the Soviet boycott and were breathlessly lionized for it. As a Chinese-American kid, seeing people who looked like me win gold was inspiring. I fell in love with Li Ning, the gymnast who took home six medals that summer, so I was thrilled to see my seventh-grade crush, still looking fit and adorable at 45, flying around the circumference of the Bird's Nest to light the Olympic cauldron last week. The other morning, even though we had beach volleyball tickets, the entire family decided to stay in and watch the men's gymnastics finals. The Chinese men were heavily favored—we didn't want to miss it. A few minutes in, we began to wish we were watching back home. "Where are the up-close-andpersonal segments?" my sister asked. Sure, there was a bit of commentary, but none of the polish and packaging that you'd get from the folks at NBC. Not much history or background on the contestants beyond where in China they were born. And certainly no visits to hometowns and no proud, teary-eyed parents. Sure, these stories of sacrifice, injury, and adversity are cheesy, but they serve a necessary function, allowing you to 44/140 identify with athletes whom you've never heard of before and probably won't hear from again. To find out more about China's top gymnast, Yang Wei, I had to go to the U.S. news sites for a biography. Instead of soft-focus profiles, what you get from CCTV is raw, one-sided footage. Predictably, the cameras were trained exclusively on the Chinese gymnasts. During the early rotations, when the Chinese unexpectedly found themselves in fifth place, CCTV broadcast little or no footage of the teams in first, second, third, and fourth. Instead, even as the Chinese gymnasts waited for their scores, which often took several minutes, and other competitors were performing, the CCTV cameras stayed with them as they sat doing nothing. To fill the air, commentators offered thoughts such as "the team seems really tight. They really need to open up 100 percent. If they open up 100 percent, they will perform better." But we had no idea how well the other teams were performing. "Let's see some Americans!" my sister yelled. It was frustrating. While NBC is almost always U.S.-focused, they at least know that minutes spent focusing on an athlete waiting for a score does not make for good TV. They know how to tell a story, and that a competition needs competitors. That's the problem with taking away the free market: Any selfrespecting, ratings-oriented broadcaster would have cut away to fit in somebody else's vault. But CCTV couldn't bear to look away from its own team yesterday. It was a reminder that, at the end of the day, it's still a large cog in a giant propaganda machine. NBC is patriotic because patriotism sells; CCTV is patriotic because patriotism is the law. Telling a story is not CCTV's priority; it's conveying the glory of China and the Chinese regime. That's a lot less fun to watch than a sporting event. Frustrations aside, the propaganda machine does kick up some more benign kitsch. My easy-listening heart warms each time I see "Beijing Welcomes You," a seven-minute song that seems to play on a continuous loop at certain times of the day. The video shows 100 of Greater China's pop stars singing a slightly saccharine, yet totally infectious, song celebrating the arrival of the games—who wouldn't be moved by the great Jackie Chan, standing on the Great Wall, turning to face the camera and reaching out his arms as he belts in Mandarin, "Beijing welcomes you. We've opened up our world to you." five-ring circus The Silver Lining The U.S. women's gymnastics team overturned cultural cliches in the team event. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC By Meghan O'Rourke Wednesday, August 13, 2008, at 1:18 PM ET Once again, the United States women's gymnastics team has taken the silver in the team finals at the Olympics. After falling to Romania in Athens, the Americans this time lost out to the Chinese, who performed with surprising joie de vivre. We've heard a lot about the collective, hardworking ethos of Chinese culture—which David Brooks contrasted earlier this week with America's individualistic impulses—but the irony early on was that it was the Chinese who seemed to be joyfully and expressively performing while the American girls looked drawn and anxious. There was even a dour helicopter parent thrown into the mix, adding to the tension: Former Soviet champion Valeri Liukin, father of superstar Nastia Liukin, an elegant performer with all the diva potential of a Svetlana Khorkina. When she briefly wobbled on the beam, he put his head in his hands, as if he couldn't watch any more. Finally, an NBC commentator said, almost chidingly, "His daughter has done a good job." The team final was, everyone understood, a showdown between the Chinese and the Americans, with the Chinese team favored. (Their routines possessed a greater level of difficulty.) For the Americans to have a chance, the Chinese would have to falter; that didn't quite happen. Perhaps it's no surprise, then, that a kind of subconscious anxiety about global politics inflected some of the commentary. When it looked, for a moment, as if the Chinese had made a crucial error, Al Trautwig said, wishfully, "One moment they look like a world power, the next they look so vulnerable." The big back story this year has been a controversy over birth certificates. Today, you have to be 16 within the calendar year to compete in Olympic women's gymnastics, and online records suggested that half the Chinese team was too young, according to the New York Times. The Chinese denied the allegations and provided passports that "proved" all the girls were of age. Boy, did they not look it. The American girls came out onto the floor in shiny red leotards that made them look like Las Vegas showgirls. On average 30 pounds heavier and 3.5 inches taller than the doll-sized Chinese gymnasts, they had the sheen of aging starlets, imbuing the scene with a peculiar Sunset Boulevard feel. From the start, we knew how this would end, with the young outshining the "old." Briefly, after the Chinese team completed its third rotation, the balance beam, it looked like the Americans had a real shot at the gold: The Chinese team leader, Cheng Fei, had taken a dramatic spill, earning a huge 0.8 deduction. But Alicia Sacramone, the oldest member of the American team, misjudged her mount and, arms windmilling, fell from the beam before she even got on it. It was as metaphorical a fall as it was literal. In the next event, the floor exercise, all three American competitors—Shawn Johnson, 45/140 Liukin, and Sacramone—stepped out of bounds, as if the equipment were taunting them: You're too big and old. It was hard not to see the American girls' failure to stay inbounds as a kind of Freudian slip—or Freudian step. It was as if, worried that the Chinese might have an unfair advantage, the Americans suddenly became aware of their growing bodies, of the potential for harm, of how easy it is to make a mistake, of how fast time flies and the body stiffens, even for those who can flip through the air and perform ever more complicated release skills on the uneven bars. It might not be obvious why being younger would be an advantage in a highly perfectionistic, skill-driven sport like gymnastics. After all, the younger athletes have had less time to refine their skills. But gymnastics in its current athleticized form rewards lightness and a low center of gravity. Smaller girls rotate more easily in the air. Their bodies are also less subject to the hormonal changes that can lead to injury. And the prepubescent tend, quite simply, to be more fearless. Romanian Nadia Comaneci helped usher in this new era of athleticism in 1976, when, at the age of 14, she scored the first perfect 10 with a routine on uneven bars, an apparatus on which she pioneered difficult moves. It's no accident that Nadia was both young and slight, or that so many of the Chinese girls today share her body type. Routines today derive their value not so much from artistry as from the execution of feats of sheer difficulty; the more challenging elements you string together, the more points you earn. (Of course, the other big change in this Olympics is the advent of a new scoring system, which did away with the perfect 10, and uses two measures, execution and difficulty, much the way figure skating does.) And yet the Americans turned in a number of beautiful performances. It's been a long time since the United States had a truly charismatic gymnast, and boy do we have one now in Nastia Liukin. Where Carly Patterson performed like a Beanie Baby on steroids—cute and springy—Liukin has the flair of a ballerina and the elegant focus of predecessors like Comaneci. Nastia's dad was a product of the Soviet system, and she has the lean, angular Eastern European body type; in a sense, she's an Americanized Khorkina. On the uneven bars, Liukin performed a routine with a dauntingly high difficulty level and did it with the type of apparently effortless grace that reminds me of why, as a child, I first wanted to be a gymnast: At its best, the sport is a triumph of the will over gravity, and of art over sheer acrobatics. Shawn Johnson, who is petite without appearing emaciated, danced and leapt and tumbled on the beam with a perky pleasure. On the floor exercise, Alicia Sacramone bounced through the air with a light celerity—until she fell on a double Arabian front, opening up too early because she was worried she would step out of bounds. (Later, she did, making matters worse.) But the undoubted highlight was Liukin's uneven bars Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC performance, which received the highest score of the evening—a 16.9, nearly the highest you can receive in the post-perfect-10 era. Meanwhile, in other news: Apparently the Romanians are so "Westernized" that they actually "text message" between rotations now. Tim Daggett, NBC's color commentator, noted this development breathlessly, fingering it as the cause of the Romanians' dramatic decline in the past four years, practically bemoaning the passing of athletic slavery in Eastern Europe. (Gymnastics truly can bring out the fascistic perfectionist in anyone.) And isn't it time for NBC to rotate some fresh blood into its pundit box? All night long, Trautwig, Daggett, and Elfi Schlegel pronounced on the gymnasts—"This is an element she has struggled with"—with an accuracy that was stultifying, like going out for drinks with a friend who's always right. Without the barroom debate, the occasional surprise, where's the fun? Their running patter was, of course, characterized by a stalactic accumulation of cliches ("She's like a rock"; "She delivered") and the by-now routine appropriation of emotion. ("You gotta wonder if she realizes what a big moment this is," they said of one Chinese gymnast. The answer: Yes, she probably does.) NBC also kept the finals almost exclusively focused on the Americans and the Chinese; by my vague count, the network showed only one Romanian and one Russian on one event each, which only underscored the predictability of it all. The whole evening felt like a reality show that had hardened into selfconsciousness and shtick, lacking whatever vibrancy it once possessed. At the end, though, the show came back to life. When Sacramone fell on the balance beam, impairing her teammates' chances at the gold—and then fell again in her floor exercise— the other girls drew around her and tried to comfort her. (Not so the women's national team coordinator, Marta Karolyi, who barely touched Alicia after her floor routine.) With every reason to be disappointed—or just made nervous by her fall—the girls refused to let Sacramone beat herself up. They acted, in short, like teammates, murmuring to her and offering hugs. And in the last minutes of the competition, when Chinese gymnast Jiang Yuyuan performed her floor routine, harnessing the energy in the arena as she gleefully danced and tumbled, even the Americans seemed drawn in; Shawn Johnson smiled and nodded, visibly reacting with pleasure to the artistry. The Americans all managed smiles at the end. Along the way, they showed, perhaps, less individual joy than one might have wished, but there in the last moments, finally, an indomitable collective spirit was on view. In that regard, at least, they gave the Chinese a real run for their money. five-ring circus The Olympics Sap-o-Meter 46/140 Just like Michael Phelps: another day, another record. By Josh Levin, Derek Thompson, and Chris Wilson Wednesday, August 13, 2008, at 10:55 AM ET On Wednesday morning in Beijing's Water Cube, it seemed that no Olympic swimmer could touch the pool without setting a world record. So it is with the Sap-o-Meter. For the third consecutive night, NBC's coverage has set a new standard for sentimentality. The record, if only for today: a whopping 42 Sap Points. Tuesday was a tale of two arenas for American squads. In the Cube, Michael Phelps, freshly crowned the "greatest Olympian of all time," added two more golds to his war chest. NBC padded the achievement with a nostalgic chat with Mama Phelps, a series of profiles flush with violin crescendos, and record-high utterances of proud and overcome. In women's gymnastics, however, the commentary was syrupy but not always sweet. The grueling showdown between the American and Chinese teams featured falls, slips, and rough landings, eliciting top scores for battled (six mentions) and challenges (four). Sappiest Line of the Day: "You done good, Mom."—NBC's Cris Collinsworth to Michael Phelps' mother, Debbie. (Emphasis on sap words is ours.) The Sap-o-Meter Tag Cloud adversity battled cancer challenges courage cry death determination dream emotion glory golden heart hero inspiration journey magic memory miracle mother overcome passion mom proud sacrifice spirit tragedy triumph For a primer on how the Sap-o-Meter works, check out our first entry. Did we miss your favorite moment? Send your Sappiest Line of the Day suggestions to sapometer@gmail.com. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Sap-o-Meter History (click on any bar to read that day's entry) five-ring circus "Why Not Just Use Beavers?" NBC's visit to the Three Gorges Dam, and other Olympics coverage highlights. By Troy Patterson Tuesday, August 12, 2008, at 6:08 PM ET As presented on NBC, the Summer Olympics are a celebration of many worthy things—strength, agility, determination, and Coca-Cola, just for instance, but, perhaps foremost, the diversity of world culture. Last Friday, at the end of the NBC Nightly News, in a weekly segment called the "Making a Difference" report, Brian Williams assumed the honor of cranking up the hype for the opening ceremony. With the Bird's Nest in the background and the deep grays of the Beijing air bringing out the coral tones in his tan, the anchor fired up a lesson in German and Polish cuisine—that is, in the kind of cooking fat referred to in Yiddish as schmaltz. The subject was track-and-fielder Lopez Lomong, the Sudanese refugee voted U.S. flag bearer—"a very symbolic choice this year," said Williams, "part walking political statement … also a walking symbol of the Olympic ideal." I'd thought he was a runner, but whatever. Williams, having dignified the first great sob story of the 29th Olympiad, then gave his colleagues in infotainment at Access Hollywood a crack at it. That show teased Shaun Robinson's interview with Lomong with the promise that she would perform the rite of actual sobbing. She did so without disrupting her mascara, which is to say that the Access Hollywood makeup team stuck the landing. One points this out not to trivialize a civil war but to note that the jaw won't stop dropping at the process by which featured athletes—the victims of politics, disease, and "personal tragedy"—get reshaped into "very symbolic" persons. We all should have ceased to be amazed by this 20 years ago, but NBC, like Michael Phelps, continues to break its own world records. Its go-to tone is in fact tone-deaf, as if, having committed itself to exercising restraint in presenting the actual events, the network gets carried away at the faintest whiff of human interest. A lachrymose segment on a Polish swimmer first lamented that she'd killed her brother in a car accident, then, in broadcasting the crowning quote that he had possessed all the qualities she would seek in a husband, ushered incestuous implications ickily onto the scene. A major subplot last night involved U.S. beach volleyball star Kerri Walsh briefly losing her wedding ring in the 47/140 sand. How'd it feel to have it back, Kerri? "You know, Heather, I felt like I could breathe again. …" Bob Costas presides over all this from a room decorated in taupe and black enamel, an unobtrusive space splitting the difference between chic and dull, a look we'll call Michael Mann Marriott. Mary Carrillo was in Monday night with a palate-cleansing travel report on the many supersized things that China has to offer—the Great Wall and the world's tallest man and so on. Carrillo took the assignment lightly, asking, at Three Gorges Dam, "Why not just use beavers?" But in general NBC is awed, cowed, and, frankly, turned on by China's size. Sunday's U.S.China men's basketball game was repeatedly hyped as "the mostwatched basketball game in the history of the sport," which, if true, meant that it was the blow-out that bored the greatest number of eyeballs to tears, not even offering the solace of replays of the Americans' many sparkling alley-oops. The intro to Monday night's men's artistic gymnastics competition kicked off with heavy percussion and moderate Orientalism: "There are only 26 characters in the English language to make us understand" the import of the event. Ah, so, but the very symbolic glyphs of the indigenous people make it clear that this was "the biggest sports event of this nation's history." The Occidental best suited to rise to the occasion was U.S. gymnast Justin Spring, who, with his cocky brush cut and handsome smirk, looks like a cross between G.I. Joe and James Dean. Before taking to the parallel bars, he rakishly blew the surplus chalk from his hands. After, he preened, strutted, and then pretended finally to notice the camera for the first time: "What's up, America?" Give that man a Wheaties box. five-ring circus Down With the Perfect 10! A mathematician explains the genius of the new gymnastics scoring system. By Jordan Ellenberg Tuesday, August 12, 2008, at 12:09 PM ET Olympic gymnastics has a new scoring system, and not everyone's happy with the departure of the famous 10-point scale. "It's crazy, terrible, the stupidest thing that ever happened to the sport of gymnastics," wailed excitable supercoach Bela Karolyi in the New York Times. "How could they take away this beautiful, this most perfect thing from us, the one thing that separated our sport from the others?" What exactly is Karolyi kvetching about? This year, competitors get two scores, each from its own panel of judges. The "A" score measures the difficulty of the routine. A relatively easy move like a one-handed cartwheel on the balance beam adds 0.1 to Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC your A score, while bringing off the astonishing Arabian double front layout rakes in 0.7. (And no, you can't inflate your score by doing 10 cartwheels in a row; only the 10 most difficult elements are counted, and repeated elements don't count at all.) Performing two or more elements in close succession tacks on "connection value" of up to 0.2 points per transition. The way to max out your A score, then, is to cram the toughest possible moves into your routine and pack them as tightly together as you can manage. The downside of all that: In the middle of your painstakingly computed, ultra-difficult, absolutely seamless routine, you might fly headfirst off the end of the beam. That's where the B panel comes in. The B score starts at the top of the scale rather than the bottom, and every mistake takes you further from a perfect 10.0. The new system imposes a kind of mandatory minimum sentencing; after years of complaints about unobjective scoring, judges on the B panel now have less discretion about how many points to deduct for a given miscue. The standard penalties are also harsher than they used to be—a fall that would have cost a half-point in Athens now means a 0.8-point deduction. That's why American gymnast Nastia Liukin's botched dismount at the end of Sunday's brutally difficult uneven bars routine—a routine specifically designed by her father to ring up a massive A score—dropped her back to fifth place, behind several less ambitious competitors. The final tally is the sum of the A score and B score; since the difficulty of the current batch of Olympic routines tops out in the 7s, you can expect medal-winning scores to be somewhere in the 16s. And that's one thing opponents of the new system don't like. "A perfect 16.9" lacks the ring of "a perfect 10." "It's hard to understand. I don't even understand it," Mary Lou Retton told the Times. "Back in the old days you'd know what that means," sniffed NBC commentator Tim Daggett (himself the recipient of a 10.0 on the high bar in the 1984 Games) after watching China's Yibing Chen score a 16.275 on the vault. But would you really? Under the old system, a 10.0 didn't mean "perfection"—the score for a flawless performance was computed by adding difficulty bonuses to a fixed "start value" (8.4 for men, 8.8 for women) up to a maximum of 10, then taking deductions for mistakes. An easier routine, carried out perfectly, might get a 9.6 instead of a 10. In other words, the old system was a lot like the new system. If anything, the new scoring is easier to interpret: A B score of 10.0 is synonymous with absolute perfection while the old unified score was an impenetrable combination of pluses and minuses arrived at only after Talmudic contemplation of the FIG's Code of Points. But let's not focus on those details. As in most emotional disputes about numbers, people aren't arguing about precisely how the number is calculated but what it symbolizes. How we measure something reflects, and eventually influences, what we 48/140 value in it. And in that view, the new scoring system really does represent a profound change. Scales with a hard upper limit, like the old gymnastics scoring or the SAT, say that what's important is the pursuit of perfection. The goal of the SAT is to blacken the right bubble for every last one of those inequalities and analogies, and you can do no better than getting every one correct. Open-ended scales, like the new gymnastics system, value innovation and the breaking of existing barriers. You can't imagine men's weightlifting, say, being scored on how close you came to clean-and-jerking 550 pounds, with every pound above that not counting toward your score. That's because the goal of weightlifting isn't to approach a predetermined ideal. The goal—primal, simple, and satisfying— is to hoist a more awe-inspiring heap of metal above your head than the other fellow. Or, better yet, to hoist more than any other fellow in history. There are some Olympic sports in which an upper limit might be more appropriate than in gymnastics—in sprinting, for instance, where today's fastest runners may actually be very close to the absolute physical limits of human ability. There is some mark in the 100-meter dash that's the equivalent of getting all the questions right on the SAT—you just can't do any better. I asked Peter Weyand, a professor of kinesiology at Rice and an expert on human locomotion, how far away that ultimate limit was from the current world record. Like a good scientist, Weyand declined to make a precise prediction. But the scenario he presented for serious improvement in sprinting verged on the science-fictional, involving a drastic enhancement of the density of type IIX muscle fibers, achieved via cloning or extremely fortunate mutation. It doesn't seem a bad guess to say that the sprinters in Beijing, not the gymnasts, are the ones for whom "perfection" is an appropriate metric. The same goes for other track-and-field events highly dependent on sprint speed. This write-up from the American Institute of Physics explains how to use the conservation of energy to estimate your maximal possible pole vault from your top running speed. If we plug the current 100-meter world record into the formula, a vaulter who's 2 meters tall (about 6-foot-7) would have a maximal clearance of 6.5 meters—not so far above Sergei Bubka's world record of 6.14 meters. You want to grade pole vaults by their nearness to 6.5 meters, with deductions for inappropriate music or a bounce on the landing? No objection here. Gymnastics, by contrast, isn't constrained by simple applications of Newtonian mechanics. Gymnasts can perform moves that no one's carried out before—that no one ever thought of carrying out before. Now, the sport has a scoring system that's built to reward that. In theory, yes, there's still an upper limit. There are only so many different possible elements in a routine and only so many possible connections between them, and each one, at least for now, is worth at most 0.7 points. But this new upper Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC boundary is less like a perfect SAT score than a 1.000 batting average: a limit so far out of reach it might as well be no limit at all. "The new 'open-ended' scoring system was designed in part to prevent us from outgrowing the rules," international gymnastics judge Judy Schalk told me via e-mail. Before the new system, just about all elite competitors performed routines difficult enough to bring the start value up to a 10.0; sailing over that threshold earned you no more points than barely clearing it. With the new system, gymnasts have the incentive to keep making their routines tougher and more complex. In every other sport, the competitors in Beijing are superior to their predecessors and get better scores to prove it. Why should gymnastics be the only sport without world records? With the new system, gymnastics comes into compliance with the Olympic motto. That's "faster, higher, stronger," not "more graceful, more beautiful, closer to perfect." It's no coincidence that the Olympic sports that have historically chased the latter ideal are the same ones in which the women's game overshadows the men's: gymnastics and figure skating. Figure skating ditched the perfect 6.0 after crooked judging in the 2002 Salt Lake City Olympics embarrassed the sport. The old scoring system already had many discontents, most famously great French champion Surya Bonaly, who showed her disdain for the judges at the 1998 Olympics by landing a backflip on one skate. It was illegal, it carried a mandatory deduction, and she was the only woman in the world who could do it. If the judging controversy in figure skating is any guide, don't expect gymnastics to enjoy a smooth transition into the new era. Some people think skating's new system has bastardized the sport, forcing all competitors to adopt the same intricate and high-scoring combinations of moves, tougher without being better. "A triple Axel with two fingers into the skater's nose would definitely be more difficult than the usual triple Axel, but could we consider that an improvement?" asked former Olympic judge Sofia Banchetti Garbato in an open letter to the International Skating Union president. (Note: The triple nasal axel is not currently an ISU-sanctioned element.) On the other hand, the second-place finisher in this year's men's world championship complained that the new system didn't offer enough points for difficult jumps, thus encouraging skaters to turn in perfect but less demanding programs. The new gymnastics system is substantially simpler than the one figure skating adopted, and the effect is likely to be clearer: more difficult routines, more athleticism, less focus on beauty and presentation. Dance elements count for much less, spectacular flips and dismounts for much more. "The artistic value is further repressed in the quest for more difficulty," says Schalk. 49/140 And that's for the best. Right now, gymnastics fans look back to the flawless performances of Nadia Comaneci and Mary Lou Retton and say, "How can gymnastics survive without the perfect 10?" But the next generation of fans, watching their heroes smash one another's records with ever more spectacular physical feats, are more likely to ask a different question: "How did gymnastics survive without the golden 17?" five-ring circus The Sap-o-Meter Widget Embed our Olympics schmaltz tracker on your blog, iGoogle, or Facebook page. Tuesday, August 12, 2008, at 12:08 PM ET Every four years, we tune in to the Olympics to watch swimming, running, and jumping. Instead, NBC deluges us with tales of heartache, triumph, and redemption. For all these years, we've accepted our fate silently—there's never been a way to figure out precisely how saccharine NBC's coverage really is. Until now. Welcome to Slate's Olympics Sap-o-Meter! On Monday, we published our first Sap-o-Meter entry and marveled as NBC piled up an impressive 29 Sap Points. Can't wait to find out tomorrow's score? Click the "get & share" button on the widget above and select the type of site where you want to embed the widget. (There's a shortcut for Facebook users here.) If you watch enough NBC, you know that there's a flag-waving mom behind every extraordinary achievement. Well, supporting last night's record-breaking performance were a remarkable 13 mothers—that is, 13 mentions of the words mom or mother. NBC also continued to dream big, with a robust six mentions for the second consecutive night. Sappiest Line of the Day: "Back home in Colorado, a dad who was once champion of the Soviet Union sits alone and smiles with pride. His son Sasha has come through."—NBC commentator Al Trautwig, after American gymnast Sasha Artemev's bronze-clinching pommel horse routine. (Emphasis on sap words is ours.) The Sap-o-Meter Tag Cloud adversity battled cancer challenges death dream emotion inspiration journey magic glory golden heart mom mother overcome proud sacrifice spirit We'll update the widget each morning with the latest Sap Score as well as NBC's Sappiest Line of the Day. Clicking on "Olympics Sap-o-Meter" will take you to that day's article. For a primer on how the Sap-o-Meter works, check out our first entry. Did we miss your favorite moment? Send your Sappiest Line of the Day suggestions to sapometer@gmail.com. Got a suggestion for our Sappiest Line of the Day? Please send to sapometer@gmail.com. Sap-o-Meter History (click on any bar to read that day's entry) five-ring circus five-ring circus The Olympics Sap-o-Meter The Olympics Sap-o-Meter The sap reaches a record high. Blame mom. Finally, a scientific way to measure the sappiness of NBC's Olympics coverage. By Josh Levin, Derek Thompson, and Chris Wilson Tuesday, August 12, 2008, at 10:50 AM ET By Josh Levin, Derek Thompson, and Chris Wilson Monday, August 11, 2008, at 12:08 PM ET NBC's coverage of the United States' improbable bronze medal in men's gymnastics didn't end until early Tuesday morning. Undaunted, the Sap-o-Meter stayed up late churning the treacle, and it's got a new record to show for it: an inspirational 38 Sap Points. We all know that, come Olympics time, NBC goes way overboard with the heartwarming tales of diseases conquered, hardship overcome, and human spirits uplifted. Yet there's never been a tool to determine, scientifically, just how saccharine NBC's coverage really is. Until now. Welcome to Slate's Olympics Sap-o-Meter! Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC 50/140 Here's how it works. After slogging through Olympic broadcasts of yore, we drew up a list of 33 syrupy words that NBC has chronically overused: adversity, battled, cancer, challenges, courage, cry, death, dedication, determination, dream, emotion, glory, golden, hardship, heart, hero, inspiration, inspire, journey, magic, memory, miracle, mom, mother, Olympic-sized, overcome, passion, proud, sacrifice, spirit, tears, tragedy, triumph. While these 33 words are by no means an unabridged collection of schmaltzy nouns, adjectives, and verbs, they're a good sampling of NBC's bathos. Think of them as the Dow Jones of sap. Each night, the Sap-o-Meter will power up as NBC's prime-time Olympics coverage commences. Whenever one of our magic words gets uttered, it will record a single Sap Point. (For example, the following hypothetical declaration would earn an impressive three Sap Points: "Lopez Lomong's journey to America is an Olympic-sized inspiration.") At the end of the evening, we'll add up the Sap Points and report the total Sap-oMeter score, which you'll find in the snazzy animated graphic you see at the top of the screen. (Note: Since we're working from closed-caption data, which contains misspellings and occasionally misses words, we are unlikely to catch absolutely everything. We've also yet to develop technology that automatically detects sappy violin music. We hope to roll out that feature in time for the 2012 Games.) But wait, there's more. The daily Sap-o-Meter page will also include a tag cloud in which our 33 cloying words grow larger each time they're said by Bob Costas and Co. Take a peek at the cloud every morning and try to guess the winner of the inspirational, magical, triumphant title of Sappiest Word of the 2008 Olympic Games. (Mouse over each word in the cloud to see how many times it's been used so far.) We'll also be choosing the Sappiest Line of the Day, a subjective take on the night's most wince-inducing moment. That's where you come in: The Sap-o-Meter can count words, but only you can help us identify when NBC has reached the pinnacle of treacle. Please send your Sappiest Line of the Day suggestions to sapometer@gmail.com; e-mail may be quoted by name unless the writer stipulates otherwise. And if you happen to know the approximate time your favorite line appeared on the air, it will be a lot easier to track down. Now, on to the inaugural Sap-o-Meter tally. Last night, Michael Phelps, Jason Lezak, and their teammates in the 4x100-meter freestyle relay delivered a stunning last-second victory over the trash-talking French team. NBC's instant declaration: Last night's team effort was "one of the most incredible team efforts we've ever seen!" That gosh-wow performance sealed a sicklysweet evening of sentimentality for NBC. The result: an impressive 29 on the Sap-o-Meter. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Just as in a historic relay performance, every word must pull its weight to get a world-record Sap-o-Meter score. Dream soared with six mentions. Mom—the star of those heartstring-tugging Olympic profiles—clocked in with an impressive five. And overcome, heart, and emotion were key contributors to the Sapo-Meter's first official run with three mentions apiece. Sappiest Line of the Day: "Behind the smiles, they'll never be able to explain the sacrifices made, or adversities overcome."— NBC commentator Al Trautwig, narrating a profile of the American women's gymnastics team. (Emphasis on sap words is ours.) The Sap-o-Meter Tag Cloud adversity battled challenges death dream emotion heart inspiration mom overcome proud sacrifice Did we miss your favorite moment? Send your Sappiest Line of the Day suggestions to sapometer@gmail.com. Sap-o-Meter History (click on any bar to read that day's entry) foreigners Al-Qaida at 20 Is Osama Bin Laden's movement destined to fail? By Daniel Byman Tuesday, August 12, 2008, at 7:08 AM ET From: Daniel Byman Subject: From Obscurity to Infamy Posted Monday, August 11, 2008, at 6:52 AM ET Aug. 11 marks a birthday few Americans will celebrate: the founding of al-Qaida. Twenty years ago today, Osama Bin Laden and a small band of like-minded brothers sat down to 51/140 reorient the international jihadist movement that, in their eyes at least, had just scored a brilliant success by ousting the Soviet leviathan from Afghanistan. Yet dissension was high. For some, the fight was over: Godless Communists were fleeing Muslim lands, and the brothers in arms could now go home. Others wanted to redeem Palestine and fight Israel. Still others sought to overthrow secular Muslim regimes and replace them with Islamic governments. Bin Laden and his followers wanted to unify this community and maintain a coherent military force that would wage jihad around the world. Today, Bin Laden may well be reflecting on his accomplishments over the last 20 years and the challenges that lie ahead. For while his small band has succeeded brilliantly in many ways, the savage violence that has marked its rise has also limited its success. Today's article examines Osama Bin Laden's impressive successes; tomorrow Byman assesses Bin Laden's failures and explains why his movement may fail and fragment in the years to come. It is hard to dispute al-Qaida's operational successes. On Aug. 7, 1998, just short of 10 years after its founding, the organization launched two near-simultaneous bombings on the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania, killing more than 200 people, among them 12 Americans. Three years later, on Sept. 11, the organization showed itself to be exponentially more dangerous, killing almost three times as many Americans in one day as had been killed in all international terrorist attacks to that day. Since 9/11, nothing the organization has done has matched that level of carnage, but it remains the premier terrorist threat to the United States. Al-Qaida has also funded, trained, and otherwise backed local jihadist insurgents and would-be insurgents in Afghanistan, Bosnia, Chechnya, Egypt, Kashmir, Indonesia, the Philippines, Uzbekistan, and elsewhere. Although these activities received less attention than spectacular acts of terrorism, they are often far bloodier, contributing to the deaths of tens of thousands as civil war and strife consume these countries. In addition, in several notable cases, the violence has posed a political danger, threatening to topple or undermine governments. Credit for these bloody successes must be given to Osama Bin Laden's leadership. In contrast to many terrorist leaders, he is not megalomaniacal. Like a good executive, he has empowered a wide range of junior leaders. When local fighters do well, he supports them as comrades in the cause rather than as potential rivals. He and his organization have trained thousands of militants and indoctrinated even more, even though they allow only a select few to join al-Qaida itself. The result is a broad cadre of committed and skilled fighters tied to al-Qaida in a multitude of ways and supportive of the broader cause Bin Laden champions. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Ironically, U.S. counterterrorism successes reveal the depth of Bin Laden's organization. Do a Google search for "al-Qaida's number three," and it reveals some good news: We got him. He was Mohammed Atef, killed during Operation Enduring Freedom in Afghanistan. Then he was Abu Zubaydah and then Khalid Sheikh Mohammad, both of whom were captured in Pakistan. Then he was Abu Faraj al-Libbi, who was also captured in Pakistan, and then Abu Hamza Rabia, killed in 2006. These deaths and arrests can correctly be seen as a series of impressive achievements by U.S. military and intelligence officials. But it is an even more impressive accomplishment for Bin Laden: All active terrorist groups lose leaders, but only a select few can repeatedly lose senior leaders and survive. And as the plot to bomb 10 planes over the Atlantic that was disrupted on Aug. 10, 2006, showed, al-Qaida's ambitions remained vast and its capabilities considerable. One of the reasons for al-Qaida's success is that Bin Laden has found supportive patrons and carved out niches in which to operate freely. Hassan al-Turabi's Sudan was the first regime to back Bin Laden, and when Turabi turned his back on al-Qaida in 1996, Bin Laden quickly found a new patron in Afghanistan. In Afghanistan before 9/11, the ruling Taliban allowed Bin Laden and his supporters to organize, recruit, train, plan, and even relax while they built a small army. When the Taliban fell from power in late 2001, it looked like alQaida would forever be on the run. Perhaps Bin Laden's biggest accomplishment in recent years is the reconstitution of a sanctuary in Pakistan near the border with Afghanistan. AlQaida is more harried in Pakistan today than it was when the Taliban was its host, but it is rapidly re-establishing its sanctuary. Large swaths of Pakistan are no-go areas for the Pakistani army, and recent news reports indicate that Pakistan, not Iraq, is now the destination of choice for would-be jihadists. Many of the post-9/11 terrorist attacks that have plagued Western Europe appear to have been organized from Pakistan. Perhaps the biggest problem Bin Laden confronted in the organization's early years had nothing to do with operations. Few Muslims shared his belief that the United States was the source of the Muslim world's problems and that jihad was the answer. Even most self-identified jihadists rejected this idea. No one liked the United States, but for them, local governments in Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, and so on were the most immediate oppressors, and if they could pick an external enemy, Israel would head the list. Not until around 1994 did Bin Laden himself begin to fixate on the United States as his primary target. Successful terrorist attacks in the '90s and on 9/11 cemented the organization's reputation for derring-do, but the 2003 U.S. invasion and occupation of Iraq was a key factor in helping vindicate Bin Laden's narrative. Before the war, some, including many extremists, believed he had overreached himself on 9/11 and had squandered the Islamic emirate of Afghanistan by taking 52/140 on the United States so directly. For these Muslims, even such a spectacular operation as 9/11 was a poor trade-off for the loss of a true Islamic government. In addition, even puritanical Muslims whose worldview Bin Laden claimed to share criticized his demand for jihad, believing that his arguments had little merit and that he did not have the credentials to issue the call. The Iraq war "proved" to most Muslims (and many non-Muslims around the world) that the United States was an aggressive power bent on dominating the Islamic world. What's more, having a large Christian power militarily invade and occupy the heart of the Islamic world would indeed qualify for jihad, according to religious scholars who not only were unsympathetic to Bin Laden, but whose salaries were often paid by pro-U.S. governments. Perhaps this shift in narrative is Bin Laden's biggest success. Powerful jihadist cadres from Algeria, Egypt, and elsewhere now focus as much activity on Americans and other Westerners as on their local problems. In making this shift, they are playing to a sympathetic public. Popular opinion of the United States in the Muslim world, even though slightly recovered since its nadir at the beginning of the Iraq war, is abysmal. Al-Qaida's media operations both reflect and drive this success. Even before he founded al-Qaida, Bin Laden believed that propaganda and proselytizing were vital. In the years before 9/11, he occasionally gave interviews, and al-Qaida videotaped operations and statements by would-be martyrs for future use. Since 9/11, al-Qaida's information operations have exploded in scope. A new statement from Osama Bin Laden or Ayman alZawahiri hardly merits attention in most newspapers today, in contrast to the days after 9/11 when every word was parsed for its political and operational significance. However, al-Qaida has made good use of the Internet to bypass Western media and reach key audiences directly. Al-Qaida has used its media operations to impress a key audience: young Muslim males. Jihad is cool. In contrast to many other political organizations, to say nothing of feckless Arab leaders, al-Qaida acts and sacrifices—at times successfully—in the name of Islam. This may at times horrify moderate Muslims, but they wouldn't join the fight anyway. Even as al-Qaida and its allies have suffered reverses in several key countries in recent years, they have expanded operations elsewhere. In Western Europe, the Muslim population is increasingly radicalized, with young men in particular finding Bin Laden's message attractive. Afghanistan, for several years touted as a major U.S. success in the war against al-Qaida, faces an insurgency that controls parts of the country and is steadily gaining strength. Most worrisome, Pakistan itself is under siege. Every few months, it seems that the Pakistani army is shut out of a new part of Pakistan, and areas like Swat—once a peaceful tourist destination—are now hotbeds for the insurgency. Pakistan has a large, powerful army; nuclear weapons; and an Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC ongoing border dispute with India. Unrest there is perhaps more terrifying than in any other country in the world. Finally, it is hard to talk about al-Qaida's strength without juxtaposing it with several problematic U.S. policies. The bad news is that Washington still remains confused in much of its approach toward counterterrorism. Homeland security in particular suffers, not because of a lack of money or effort, but because there is still confusion about how to defend the U.S. homeland best and how to prioritize and rationalize programs. More troubling, some of the measures the United States has used to fight terrorism have backfired. Highly publicized abuses of prisoners in Abu Ghraib and, to a lesser extent, Guantanamo have tarnished the United States' good name. To its credit, the Bush administration has repeatedly tried to reach out to moderate Muslims at home and abroad, but statements by some U.S. evangelists like Pat Robertson declaring Muslims to be "satanic"—and pictures that show such preachers shaking hands with U.S. officials—undo the administration's good efforts. The United States has also had to cozy up to scuzzy regimes in the Middle East—fighting terrorists requires daily coordination of security services, but in Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Morocco, and other U.S. regional allies, the security services imprison and harass not only terrorists, but also human rights campaigners and democracy advocates. None of these blunders is fatal, but all give Bin Laden opportunities to exploit. From: Daniel Byman Subject: Is the Movement Destined To Fail? Posted Tuesday, August 12, 2008, at 7:08 AM ET On Aug. 11, 1988, al-Qaida was founded. Yesterday, Daniel Byman examined Osama Bin Laden's impressive successes; today he explains why Bin Laden's movement may fail and fragment in the years to come. Even as he gloats over al-Qaida's many successes in the past 20 years, Osama Bin Laden may feel a sense of foreboding. For even as al-Qaida has gone from an obscure organization with a few dozen adherents to a global brand with name recognition most corporations would envy, it faces challenges on almost every front. Al-Qaida's appeal, while far stronger than in 1988, is less compelling to many Muslims than it was during the early days of the Iraq war. In the last few years, the organization has suffered withering criticism from once-supportive preachers and 53/140 theologians in Egypt, Saudi Arabia, and elsewhere. Lawrence Wright reports that "radical Islam is confronting a rebellion within its ranks, one that Zawahiri and the leaders of Al Qaeda are poorly equipped to respond to." Most prominently, the theologian known as Dr. Fadl has excoriated al-Qaida for what he feels are a host of practical and ideological errors. Fadl once led Egyptian Islamic Jihad (many members of that organization are now part of al-Qaida), and jihadists often used his writings to justify their mayhem. Salman al-Auda has also condemned alQaida. Al-Auda is a Saudi sheikh who gained wide popularity for his criticism of the Saudi royal family's ties to the United States. Bin Laden himself even lauded him. These preachers' rejection of al-Qaida and its violence, particularly its murder of innocents, was a body blow. Al-Qaida's leaders correctly point out that Fadl is in jail and al-Auda is on the Saudi payroll, but the credibility of these voices—and the fact that they are not alone—makes them hard to ignore. Priorities also divide the movement. For some, the key struggle is against Israel or moderate Arab governments in the Middle East while for other jihadists, the Iraq war has heightened sectarian tensions and made Shiite Muslims the main enemy. To cite one example, for many years Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, who eventually led al-Qaida in Iraq, had refused to join al-Qaida because he wanted to struggle against the Hashemites in Jordan and the Shiites in Iraq rather than fight America. One of the movement's strengths is that it has encompassed a wide range of grievances, but that strength can easily prove a weakness if the movement splits over what to do next. The movement also risks dividing itself over the question of taqfir: declaring another Muslim to be a legitimate target for violence because he is an apostate. All extreme movements hate the smallest deviation from the supposed true faith. (Think, for example, of Stalin's paranoia about Trotsky.) Some jihadists take the view that you are either with them or against them—a failure to join the fight makes you an apostate and thus deserving of violence. In Algeria in the 1990s and in Iraq after the movement appeared ascendant in 2005, the jihad turned on itself and began to slaughter individuals within the Sunni Muslim community whom jihadists felt were insufficiently pious. In both cases, public opinion decisively turned against them. Al-Qaida's strength in finding supportive governments or carving out niches in which to act is matched by the transient nature of these havens. The influence of Sudan's Hasan al-Turabi steadily declined in the late 1990s, and since then he has been in and out of jail. Sudan today is a military dictatorship, not an Islamic state. The blow in Afghanistan was even more severe, as Bin Laden had proclaimed Mullah Omar, the Taliban leader, to be the true commander of the faithful. It was al-Qaida's attack on 9/11, however, that led to Omar's overthrow. Puritanical Muslims who believed that Afghanistan was the first true Islamist state were livid. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Nor has jihad flowered in the many places where it appeared to be taking root after 1988. Looking around the world in 1995, Bin Laden must have felt optimistic. Jihadists had fought in Bosnia, and jihadist insurgencies appeared to be gaining momentum in Chechnya, Egypt, and Algeria. In 2004, Bin Laden probably had hopes for fighters, in addition to those in Iraq, in Indonesia and Saudi Arabia. Although terrorist groups remain active in all these countries, they are no longer linked to broader militant movements that threaten to topple the government or destabilize the country. Al-Qaida and its allies can still kill, but the scope of their violence has shrunk, and the regimes are safe. Indeed, the jihadists' bloody tactics and attempts to impose rigorous Islamic law in the fiefdoms they temporarily carved out drove local Muslims into the arms of area governments, no matter how brutal, corrupt, and repressive. The losses in Iraq since 2006 are a particular setback for the movement. Bin Laden made Iraq a poster child of jihad and for years delighted in bleeding the United States as his movement there became more powerful. In the last two years, however, U.S. forces and their Iraqi allies have dealt a series of hard, perhaps even mortal, blows to al-Qaida of Iraq. Its fighters are wiped out or dispirited, and its desire to use Iraq as a base for expanding influence elsewhere in the region, a nightmare that appeared to be beginning when Iraq-based operatives carried out devastating 2005 hotel bombings in Jordan, appears unlikely to materialize anytime soon. Also devastating to al-Qaida is the global manhunt for its leaders and supporters. Pakistan is a safe haven, and there are other pockets, including parts of Yemen, where the organization enjoys considerable impunity. Yet a global operation like the 9/11 plot, which involved members in Afghanistan and Pakistan but also in Germany, Malaysia, Saudi Arabia, and other locales, would be exceptionally risky today since the intelligence services in all these places are far more focused on disrupting alQaida than they were before September 2001. The daily arrests and setbacks these services inflict on al-Qaida rarely make headlines, but they are perhaps the most important success in the U.S. war on terrorism. To understand the scope of al-Qaida's problems, it is useful to contrast it with truly successful terrorist groups like Hamas and Hezbollah. Hamas governs Gaza, even if the world refuses to recognize this for diplomatic reasons, and Hezbollah is the strongest actor in Lebanon, where it enjoys a veto over government policy. Al-Qaida controls only remote parts of the Muslim world, such as tribal areas in Pakistan, and even there it relies heavily on local warlords. Hezbollah and Hamas have vast social networks while al-Qaida's influence is expressed almost entirely through violence. Political necessity and social networks hem in Hamas and Hezbollah and make them less operationally agile—but both organizations gladly sacrificed such flexibility in their quest for power. Al-Qaida, in contrast, can sow unrest, but 54/140 the harvest it reaps does not advance its ultimate goals and often backfires. Declaring whether al-Qaida is "winning" or "losing" depends on the criteria used for judgment. In the past 20 years, Bin Laden has built a formidable terrorist machine that remains capable of launching lethal attacks around the world and disrupting life in several vital countries, particularly Pakistan. Yet at the same time, the movement is bedeviled by internal divisions and has repeatedly found that its more ambitious goals of seizing power and establishing an Islamic state have been set back. Osama Bin Laden can look back at the past 20 years with pride, but also with trepidation. He has not lost, but his track record so far suggests that more substantial victories are likely to remain elusive. Daniel Byman is a visiting researcher at the Institute for National Security Studies in Tel Aviv. He is also an associate professor at Georgetown University and a senior fellow at the Saban Center at the Brookings Institution. foreigners The Dissident Within What a book about China's great famine says about the country's transformation. By Anne Applebaum Monday, August 11, 2008, at 7:52 PM ET Cymbals clashed; a giant scroll unfurled. There were fireworks, kites, ancient soldiers marching in formation, modern dancers bending their bodies into impossible shapes, astronauts, puppets, little children, multiple high-tech gizmos. The Olympic opening ceremony showed you China as China wants you to see it. But for a deeper understanding of how far China has come—and of how odd its transformation continues to be—switch off the Olympics. Instead, spend a few minutes contemplating the existence of a new book, Tombstone. It is the first proper history of China's great famine, a catastrophe partly engineered by the Chinese Communist Party and its first leader, Mao Zedong. "It is a tombstone for my father who died of hunger in 1959, for the 36 million Chinese who also died of hunger, for the system that caused their death, and perhaps for myself for writing this book," writes the author, Yang Jisheng, in the opening paragraph. Tombstone has not been translated. Nevertheless, rumors of its contents and short excerpts are already ricocheting around the Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC world. (I first learned of it in California, from an excited Australian historian.) Based on a decade's worth of interviews, and unprecedented access to documents and statistics, Tombstone—in two volumes and 1,100 pages—establishes beyond any doubt that China's misguided charge toward industrialization—Mao's "Great Leap Forward"—was an utter disaster. A combination of criminally bad policies (farmers were forced to make steel instead of growing crops; peasants were forced into unproductive communes) and official cruelty (China was grimly exporting grain at the time) created, between 1959 and 1961, one of the worst famines in recorded history. "I went to one village and saw 100 corpses," one witness told Yang. "Then another village and another 100 corpses. No one paid attention to them. People said that dogs were eating the bodies. Not true, I said. The dogs had long ago been eaten by the people." So thorough is his documentation, apparently, that some are already calling Yang "China's Solzhenitsyn," in honor of the Russian dissident who probably did the most to expose the crimes of Stalin—and who died last week. But the comparison is not quite right. Yang is not a dissident, but a longtime Communist Party member. For more than three decades, he was a reporter for Xinhua, the official Chinese news agency. As a result, he had privileged access to party documents, which no one else has ever had before. More to the point, he is not an outsider: On the contrary, he, his book, and the story of the famine itself have a strange, hard-todefine status in China. Though the book is banned on the mainland, it was published in Hong Kong, where it sold out immediately. At the same time, while the famine officially doesn't exist—Chinese history textbooks speak of "three years of natural disasters," not of a mass artificial famine caused by Chairman Mao—many people clearly remember it well, fully understand Mao's role in what happened, and are willing to discuss it openly. Like the Communist legacy itself, the famine exists in a kind of limbo: undiscussed, unacknowledged, yet a vivid part of popular memory. Because China is no longer a totalitarian country, merely an authoritarian one, a journalist like Yang could spend 10 years working on the history of the famine, openly soliciting interviews and documents. But because the Chinese Communist Party neither openly embraces nor openly rejects the legacy of Mao—his name was not mentioned during the Olympics opening ceremony—there is no public discussion or debate. It's not hard to understand why not. If the Chinese Communist Party were to present an honest version of its own past, its own legitimacy might also come into question. Why, exactly, does a party with a history drenched in blood and suffering enjoy a monopoly on political power in China? Why does a nominally Marxist party, one whose economic theories proved utterly 55/140 bankrupt in the past, still preside over an explosively capitalist society? Because there aren't any good answers to those questions, it's in the Chinese leadership's interest to make sure they don't get asked. gearbox Shrimp My Ride The Smart Fortwo is cute—but not so practical. By Seth Stevenson Thursday, August 14, 2008, at 6:58 AM ET In some ways, Daimler could not have picked a better moment to introduce its Smart car to America. The Smart Fortwo—a Lilliputian, sub-sub-subcompact that fits two adults and almost nothing else—made its debut on these shores in January, and since then, gas prices and demand for small cars have skyrocketed in tandem. American auto-buyers seem to be saying: Shrimp my ride. Smart recently let me borrow a Fortwo for a couple of days. I took long drives on the city streets and surrounding highways of Washington, D.C. I went on errands, picked up friends, and parallel-parked in the eensiest spaces I could find. I had a blast with this little imp, and I even wished I could have kept it longer. In the end, however, I can't imagine buying one. Nor can I envision it catching on with the American public. Which is really no knock on the car's design. Performancewise, this thing's a small wonder. At only 70 horsepower—a degree of engine muscle more commonly found in the outboard motor of a small watercraft—you might expect the Fortwo to putter along like a sluggish moped. Instead (thanks no doubt to its feathery weight), it leaps forward from a standing start and offers some decent thrills getting from 0 to 45 mph. The secret is in the transmission: According to Smart, the Fortwo's first gear is tuned a bit more aggressively than on Smart's European models, allowing the car to "better demonstrate its spirited nature when pulling away at traffic lights." The Fortwo model I tried featured Smart's "automated manual transmission." This is a sort of hybrid of a stick shift and an automatic. If you wish, the car can do all the shifting for you. Or you can choose to change gears on your own, not with a clutch but with paddles mounted on either side of the steering wheel. This semimanual option bestows a greater measure of control and allows for a slightly sportier shifting pattern. But it's also a tease: If you redline the tachometer in low gear for more than a few seconds, the car will seize back its authority and upshift without asking. (Which may be for the best. At 6,500 rpm, the motor begins to sound like a Cuisinart chopping a crunchy Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC clump of walnuts.) Likewise, the car's computer will disallow any manual shifting—up or down—that it deems illogical. You sit way up high in the Fortwo, and you'll find yourself looking down on the drivers of sedans and hatchbacks. This makes it easy to forget you're in a vehicle approximately half their length. Your reminder comes on the turns: 1) As you swing around, you notice there's no hood out in front of you, leading the way, and 2) the turning radius is so tight that you can bang a smooth U-eey on a narrow street—a maneuver that would occasion a five-point turn in many larger cars. If there's a drawback to the Fortwo's ride, it's the bumpy suspension. You can feel every jolt—to the point that you'll start grimacing in anticipation of the potholes up ahead. Perhaps this is a consequence of the car's small wheelbase. Or it may be part of the trade-off involved in engineering the Fortwo's responsive steering. (With its teeny footprint, zippy handling, and quick acceleration, the Fortwo may be the greatest car ever for slaloming recklessly between the cement pillars of an empty underground parking garage. I'm just guessing.) Everyone asks about highway driving. "Weren't you terrified to go over 50? And all those 18-wheelers ... Yikes!" I ventured out on the Baltimore-Washington Parkway one sunny afternoon to see what would happen, and it turned out the Fortwo acquitted itself like an itty-bitty champ. I gunned it up to 75 mph, and at no time did I feel like various parts might start flying off the chassis. (Not the case with several other cars I've driven.) It felt pretty solid on the road, save for a few moments when it got hit by heavy winds. (The disproportionate height of the car makes it prone to sudden—but small—sideways shudders when a gust catches its broadside just right.) Another weakness: high-speed passing. The Fortwo has trouble going quickly from 45 to 65 mph, making it difficult to put long trucks in your rearview mirror. And speaking of those trucks: What about safety? This is an understandably sensitive topic for Smart. The press materials stress that the Fortwo is "one of the safest cars in the super-mini segment"—which, now that I read it again, doesn't sound especially reassuring. The Fortwo meets all safety regulations and comes standard with front and side airbags. You're wellprotected in the event of a one-car accident, a rollover, or a collision with another small car at moderate speeds. But crikey, beware those SUVs. At 1,800 pounds—little more than half the weight of a Camry—the Fortwo is less than one-third as heavy as an empty Cadillac Escalade. Simple physics tells us a head-on rendezvous is unlikely to go well for the underdog. My biggest disappointment with the Fortwo is its gas mileage. It's very good, but I'd expected a car this light to post even more eye-popping numbers. At 33 miles per gallon in the city, and 41 mpg on the highway, its fuel efficiency isn't dramatically better 56/140 than that of a Honda Fit (28 city/34 highway)—a car with far more engine power and interior capacity. Which highlights the major issue here: While novel and fun, ultimately the Fortwo is just too impractical to recommend over, say, the Fit. Because of its diminutive size, the Fortwo can't really be used like a regular car. Yes, it fits two average-size adults very comfortably, with good leg room. But anything more is beyond its capacity. When I drove around with a slightly beefy friend of mine sitting in the passenger seat, the Fortwo felt claustrophobic—and this 6-foot-2 pal was bumping up against the sunroof. There's no back seat at all, so forget about squeezing in a third person (even a kid). You can cram a few bags of groceries into the barely there trunk or perhaps a couple of gym bags. But you'll never get a large suitcase in there. And going camping is out of the question. If the Fortwo cost $8,000 and got 50 mpg, it would be a terrific option as a second car. But at $13,590 for a middle-of-the-road model, it's no cheaper than the Fit (which I previously reviewed and loved), and it's far less car for the money. As I see it, there are only two reasons to buy a Fortwo. The first is if you want an easier time finding parking. The Fortwo fits in half a space, and those leftover scraps of room on city blocks suddenly turn into viable parking opportunities. This is a godsend in crowded urban areas. The other reason to buy a Fortwo is if you enjoy being stared at. I personally haven't been ogled this much on the road since I toured a friend's neighborhood in his restored Model T. People pointed at the Fortwo as I went by—smiling, waving, giving me the thumbs-up. At stop lights, drivers next to me would roll down their windows and ask, "What kind of car is that?" When I pulled up next to a corner filled with teen girls, one laughed and shouted, "It looks like a shopping cart!" The prospect of this sort of attention, I suspect, is what's driving the Fortwo's sales. Smart's press materials compare owning a Fortwo to owning an iPod or an iPhone, and it's easy to see why: All three are high-design, overpriced objects of shimmery desire. Remember, the original Smart car was actually the product of a partnership between Mercedes-Benz and the inventor of the Swatch watch. Which makes a lot of sense—because the Fortwo is not so much a car as a trendy gadget. green room Paparazzi in the Woods Hidden surveillance cameras are making the wilderness less wild. By Etienne Benson Thursday, August 14, 2008, at 4:17 PM ET Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Next time you go for a hike, keep an eye out for the hidden cameras. The first sign that you're under surveillance might be a plastic or metal case, about the size of a hefty hardcover book, strapped to a tree and painted to blend into the bark. If you're listening carefully, you might even hear the click of the shutter or the whirr of the film advancing. The cameras are not meant for you, and you'll probably have to get off the trail—at least, off human trails—to find them. They are designed to capture images of wild animals, and in recent years their use by hunters and wildlife biologists has been increasing exponentially. According to one study, there has been a 50 percent increase in the number of scientific papers involving data from camera traps every year for the past decade; at any given time, there may be about 10,000 deployed in research projects. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Exact figures are hard to come by, but industry sources say that as many as 300,000 are sold every year, mostly to hunters. In fact, camera traps are so useful for science, fund-raising, and conservation that few researchers or conservationists have paused to consider the unintended side effects of this massive deployment. The cameras may be hurting the animals they're used to study—and they may be affecting humans, too. Hidden cameras can produce spectacular images: Mountain beavers trundle shyly on the way to a stream, playful foxes scamper along a fallen log, snow leopards prowl in the middle of the night*, and all of it gets recorded without the presence of single human being. Traps are often set up along a game trail or near a watering hole; every animal that trips the infrared beam gets caught on film, to be categorized and counted by researchers when the film is collected weeks or months later. (Hunters use them to study the habits of their favorite prey or to keep track of which bucks are growing the biggest racks of antlers.) In recent years, camera traps have helped prove that India's tiger populations were declining far faster than the government would admit. They've produced the first-ever photographs of certain rare and elusive species, such as the Bornean rhino, and tantalizing glimpses of as-yet unidentified species. Indeed, the images they capture are perfect for the media-friendly science of organizations such as the National Geographic Society and the World Wildlife Fund, which have been among the traps' biggest promoters. That the traps have some kind of impact on the animals is obvious from the images themselves, which often show animals startled by, fleeing from, investigating, or even attacking the traps. This sequence of photos, for example, shows a bear investigating a trap belonging to retired Smithsonian biologist Chris Wemmer, who keeps a blog about his camera-trapping 57/140 activities in Northern California. The same bear destroyed another of Wemmer's cameras a few days later. WWF has posted footage of a rare Javan rhino attacking a video camera trap (see embedded video), as well as photographs of a tiger destroying a camera trap in Sumatra. It's hard to know whether these animals were angry or simply curious; most researchers believe it's the latter. What's undeniable is that they were, in one way or another, provoked. If such provocation were consistent and widespread—and the increasing popularity of camera traps means that it is rapidly becoming both—it could lead endangered animals to waste energy or avoid fruitful areas for foraging or hunting. Camera trappers acknowledge that animals react to the traps, but they're skeptical that the effect is significant compared with the stress provoked by lightning storms, predator attacks, or other human activities. Unfortunately, no one has systematically studied the impact of camera traps on wildlife. The good news is that many of the most obtrusive aspects of camera trapping are already being addressed. The mechanical whirr and click of first-generation traps hasn't been entirely eliminated, but the latest models are much quieter. Infrared cameras are reducing the need for night-time flashes. Longerlived batteries and larger memory cards in digital cameras can reduce the frequency with which researchers have to visit each trap. And when visits are required, practices such as wearing gloves to avoid leaving a scent on the camera can minimize the impact of the disturbance. There is one impact, however, that no amount of technical refinement will be able to change: that of surveillance itself. The spread of camera traps also affects the humans who share landscapes with the animals being studied. In some cases, this is undoubtedly a good thing: Camera traps in one of Nepal's national parks recently caught a party of tiger poachers on film. The potential impact on hikers and campers is less clearly positive. National parks and wilderness areas have long been valued in part because they provide opportunities for solitude, self-reliance, and a temporary escape from the everyday pressures of modern life. Can such values survive in a "wilderness" blanketed with surveillance devices? Today's wilderness advocates aren't tackling that question, but it's one that has a venerable history within the wilderness movement. In the 1960s, Adolph Murie, a wildlife biologist and wilderness activist, mounted a campaign against the use of wildlife radio tags and collars in national parks and wilderness areas. Murie had no problem with wildlife tagging per se—he had tagged hundreds of animals for his own research—but he saw parks and wilderness areas as places with a special cultural mission, one that was threatened by the unrestrained use of modern technology. People visited wilderness areas because they wanted to experience the natural world on its own terms— Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC not to encounter radio-collared animals and the scientists who managed them. Murie's was one of the first of a series of protests against handson, high-tech research methods. Those protests, which reached their peak of intensity during the 1970s and early 1980s, spurred the development of less invasive techniques such as camera trapping. But by the mid-1980s, the environmental movement had changed. The cultural and experiential concerns that had motivated Murie were overshadowed by a new focus on biodiversity and quantitative science. The possibility that there might be too much research—that the costs of knowledge might outweigh the benefits—became virtually unthinkable. Camera traps are a good thing. They have already enriched our understanding of the species with which we share the planet and cause less disturbance than many other research methods. Used thoughtfully, they can give us a deep sense of connection to nature, not just the kind of alienation that Murie feared. And along with other surveillance technologies, from high-resolution satellite imaging to miniature radio tags, they will be crucial tools for preserving what's left of the world's biodiversity. We live in a thoroughly humanized world, and the networks of environmental surveillance with which we are quilting the planet will help keep it habitable—or at least let us know how quickly it's going to hell. Still, as we expand the culture of surveillance into nature's last redoubts, it might be worth keeping some of Murie's concerns in mind: namely, that the means we use to promote biodiversity can undermine our purposes and that a technology that's right for one place isn't necessarily right for all places. Wilderness activists of the last century believed it was crucial to maintain a few places where one could hike for days without encountering cars or roads. This wasn't because they hated automobiles—after all, it was cars that made wilderness areas widely accessible for the first time—but because they believed that certain valuable experiences could be had only in their absence. Wilderness activists of this century would do well to consider whether it's worth having a few places where you'll never find a surveillance camera strapped to a nearby tree. Correction, Aug. 14: This article originally depicted a snow leopard prowling "through the jungle." Snow leopards, of course, do not live in the jungle. (Return to the corrected sentence.) hot document How To Picket Tropic Thunder Groups representing the mentally disabled organize a nationwide protest. By Bonnie Goldstein 58/140 Wednesday, August 13, 2008, at 2:10 PM ET From: Bonnie Goldstein Posted Wednesday, August 13, 2008, at 1:59 PM ET From: Bonnie Goldstein Everyone thought the lightning rod in Tropic Thunder would be Robert Downey Jr.'s comic turn in blackface. Instead, the American Association of People With Disabilities, the National Down Syndrome Congress, the Arc, Best Buddies, and a few other groups are up in arms over the film's perceived disrespect toward the mentally retarded. The coalition has put together an 11-page action kit (excerpts below and on the following five pages) urging supporters to "actively picket" movie theaters "with signs of protest urging patrons not to attend" in a nationwide "Rally for Respect," Aug. 13 through 17. Posted Wednesday, August 13, 2008, at 1:59 PM ET From: Bonnie Goldstein In the comedy, Ben Stiller (who also directed and co-authored the script) plays a movie action star named Tugg Speedman who (taking a leaf from Tom Hanks, Dustin Hoffman, Sir John Mills, and Cliff Robertson) tries to win an Oscar by playing a mentally disabled character in a movie called Simple Jack. This gives rise in Tropic Thunder to various jokes, including a review that declares Speedman's "one of the most retarded performances in cinema history" (Page 6). The Rally for Respect action kit contains a basic checklist (designate "one person to organize efforts"; produce "flyers and posters for distribution") to help supporters achieve "coordinated and organized action" (Page 4). Group chapters are advised how to identify venues screening the film ("you can find that information by going to http://fandango.com and typing in your zip code"), and it's suggested that mentally disabled people acting as "self advocates" be "present to meet and greet theater patrons." The words retard, idiot, imbecile, and moron are condemned as "hate speech …. on par with the N-word" (Page 3). The action kit also provides "talking points" for selfadvocates ("as a person with an intellectual disability I have been affected by use of the R-word and other hate speech"; Page 5). Posted Wednesday, August 13, 2008, at 1:59 PM ET From: Bonnie Goldstein Posted Wednesday, August 13, 2008, at 1:59 PM ET From: Bonnie Goldstein Posted Wednesday, August 13, 2008, at 1:59 PM ET The protest has already affected the film's publicity campaign. A mock trailer for Simple Jack with the tag line "Once upon a time … there was a retard" has been removed from the Internet and, though Paramount apparently won't edit offensive references from the film, the studio issued a statement that it "in no way meant to disparage or harm the image of individuals with disabilities." Got a Hot Document? Send it to documents@slate.com. Please indicate whether you wish to remain anonymous. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC From: Bonnie Goldstein Posted Wednesday, August 13, 2008, at 1:59 PM ET 59/140 walking around in my new, better body. My old body was depressingly tubelike: 35 inches, 28 inches, 37½ inches. human guinea pig Spandex Fantasy I have a lifetime's worth of flab. Can I turn it into muscle in four months? By Emily Yoffe Wednesday, August 13, 2008, at 1:13 PM ET There are all kinds of vanity, and one of them is not wanting to know. This is the type that has kept me from looking at my backside in a three-way mirror for years to avoid finding out if, in the words of Elmore Leonard, it looks like it has been strafed with buckshot. But then a Slate colleague offered this challenge for my next Human Guinea Pig: to see if I could get in shape for the summer. Usually in Human Guinea Pig, I do outlandish things—like make my singing debut or become a paparazzo. But maybe trying to firm up, the kind of firm in which my skin becomes like human spandex, was the most outlandish experiment of all. Sure, I belong to a gym; according to an industry trade association, about 40 million Americans belong to a health club of some kind. Considering how Americans look, obviously many of us use this membership as I have, paying the monthly fee as a kind of offering to the gods of fitness. But now I needed to go to the gym and do something strenuous while I was there. Lacking a superego of my own, this would require the external motivation only a personal trainer could provide. Slate V: The Human Guinea Pig: Mercy I have always felt sorry for personal trainers. What an awful way to earn a living, I thought, spending your days trying to carve muscles out of butterscotch pudding. (And occasionally having to hook up with wealthy, disturbed clients such as Heather Mills.) I also wondered why the clients, who must be able to function independently in the rest of their lives if they could afford a personal trainer, needed to pay a small fortune to get someone to tell them to squat. But now here I was being assessed by my new trainer, Mercy "No Mercy" Gonzalez, 41, a champion Ecuadorian body builder and mother of a 2-year-old. Mercy's body has the sleek smoothness of a Brancusi. She's been sculpting it for 15 years and is able to lift 200 pounds. She started our session with both the dreaded tape measure and by pinching my flab with calipers. "We're figuring out the measurements of your old body," she explained. I liked the optimism behind that statement. I was just temporarily stuck in this decaying thing, and soon I would be Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Then she put me through a basic workout. It was clear that what I considered a workout was a lip-synced version of what Mercy had in mind. She said machines had their place, but to really get in shape I needed to enter the sanctum of the free weights. She stuck 7.5 pound weights in my hands and had me do a series of chest and shoulder presses. Then lats, sit-ups, and dips. Within a few minutes, I was dripping and huffing. Next up, legs. My grandparents used to love to recall how cute my pulkes once were; I was about 2 years old at the time. In the decades since, I have adopted the Hillary Clinton approach to thighs—keep them hidden in pants. But now Mercy forced me to do an endless series of squats. And if I hadn't been paying her $55 to supervise me for a half- hour ($80 for an hour), I never would have done one. We agreed to meet twice a week and that I would work out on my own three other days. She said seriously remodeling my body would take a year, but I would see significant results after about 4 months. Results were immediate in my case. The next day, I woke up with a throbbing in my right scapula—my old routine may not have been doing any good, but at least it didn't cause any pain. This put me off embarking on my new program, and though I kept meeting with Mercy, for the first three weeks I rarely got to the gym on my own. Mercy was getting frustrated, "If you don't do it, we can't make a miracle here," she said, adding what has been a lifetime consensus about me, "You have potential, but you need to work harder." I like having a body; it's a convenient way of getting myself from place to place. But there always seemed to be more things to do in life—doing nothing being among the appealing options—than trying to perfect it. Perfection was never going to happen, but at the end of this experiment I didn't want to end up being the same flabby tube that I started as, so I committed myself to try. Exercise is supposed to improve your mood, but I found myself getting more depressed the more often I did it. I used to feel so good when I entered the threshold of the gym. Just arriving meant I had done something—and so what if my workout was a desultory slouch around the machines? Now I had to follow Mercy's program and actually make a serious effort, and I hated it. Whenever I would meet with her, I thought about how useful it would be to give her $55 to forget about my body and shape up other parts of my life. She could stand over my desk and say, "Type faster" or hover at my bedside and scold, "Time to turn out the light." Sometimes, sweating and aching, I longed for the neurotic's approach to personal training: I would pay her to listen to me talk about why I was so resistant to resistance training. 60/140 I admired the inventiveness of people who designed exercise devices. Mercy had me step into a circle of tubing, which came with strips of Velcro to wrap around my ankles. This contraption restricted my ability to move my legs more than a few inches apart, and Mercy made me walk, crablike, up and down the gym. It was like a combination thigh slimmer and chastity belt. One night, I saw a trainer put a client on the slant board, then make him do sit-ups while holding about 50 pounds of chain mail. If Torquemada were alive today, he wouldn't be a torturer, he'd be a trainer. There was proof it was working one night at the gym when someone tried to pick me up—the first time this has happened since well before the end of the 20th century. As I did some stretches, a man who had seemed to be staring while I hoisted my weights came over and said, "You do quite a workout!" then creepily asked me to repeat some of my stretches. When I got home, I told my husband what happened, but after he asked me to describe the man, he said he would remain unconcerned about any potential suitors who were over the age of 75. I often went to the gym at off hours—10 p.m. during the week, 7 p.m. on Fridays and Saturdays, times that appeal to social misfits. Now that I was a regular, I began to see regulars, and though I never interacted with them, I felt part of a community of familiar strangers and gave many nicknames. There was the Shvitzer, the man who sweated copiously and never wiped off the equipment; Dr. Nipples, the guy with the artificially orange hair and skin who wore very skimpy shirts; and Seething Man, who didn't work out much but walked the periphery of the gym floor muttering curses at unseen enemies. While a lot of women went to the gym, few had the kind of buffness I was seeking. I had noticed a petite redhead who was always there before I came and was still there as I left, and I finally approached her to discuss her muscles. Fanny Barrett is a Frenchwoman who works for the World Bank, and although she wouldn't give her age, she has two grown children. She has been seriously lifting weights for almost 20 years, and her arms are so toned that sometimes in the summer she keeps her jacket on to avoid questions and stares. Following her around one night, I realized why I will never really be in shape. For me, a complete workout was a hard 45 minutes. Fanny works out 5 days a week for about 2 hours at a time. She weighs 110 pounds, and I watched as she bench-pressed 100 pounds. I was microwaving, when what it really took was hours of basting. Then one night, after six weeks of serious effort, I was pulling down on a triceps machine when I caught sight of my upper arm in the mirror and saw a long, diagonal bruise running across it. I didn't remember hurting myself, so I examined my arm and realized I wasn't seeing a bruise, but a shadow cast by my deltoid—my first "cut." Later that week, my husband came into the bathroom while I was brushing my teeth and said, "Hey, look at your arm! You've actually got some muscles—for the first time in your life." The rest of my body was lagging behind my arms, but something was definitely happening. My skin was starting to feel more snug around my bones, like a leather jacket left out in the rain, and I liked the tighter fit. But there were other side effects of my new routine. Around month four, getting in shape reminded me of pregnancy: the feeling of my body changing in peculiar ways; the sudden, ravenous hunger that I couldn't help but sate; the upward creeping of the number on the scale. I started out at about 123 pounds, but now I weighed 127.4 pounds. This was the most I had weighed in years, and since I wasn't pregnant, the trajectory was alarming. My husband said it was because muscle weighs more than fat. That's true, and that's why incredibly fit Olympic shot-putters could be considered overweight according to their body mass index. But in Ultimate Fitness, science writer Gina Kolata explains that the average person who starts working out is not putting on enough muscle to explain a weight gain. Mercy was not concerned that I was having trouble zipping my pants. She was excited that she was able to press ever-heavier weights into my hands. "It's working," she said. "With my clients, it's rare that I say to do it and they do it." Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Finally, it was time for Mercy to compare my before and after. I was still a tube: My measurements didn't really change. But where the calipers had pinched 10 millimeters of fat on my arm, now there were 8; my stomach went from 13 to 10 millimeters; and my thighs from 18 to 11. (I found this change in my pulkes hard to believe.) I started out being able to do five push-ups, now I did 20; I went from 15 dips to 22; I could do a chest press with only 7.5 pound weights, now I was using 20 pounders. I never got in bathing-suit shape (unless the suit is the Speedo LZR Racer)—the blubber content of my stomach could be used to prove that humans once shared a common ancestor with cetaceans, and I still avoid three-way mirrors. But sometimes when I'm brushing my teeth, I'll flex my arm and thrill that it almost looks scary. human nature Olympic Inflation Discounting Olympic records for technological enhancement. By William Saletan Wednesday, August 13, 2008, at 7:46 AM ET 61/140 human nature Ghosts in the Machine Do remote-control war pilots get combat stress? By William Saletan Monday, August 11, 2008, at 7:53 AM ET Is it easier to kill people far away, through a video screen, than to kill them up close? Three weeks ago, I raised that question about a system for controlling unmanned military aircraft. The system, made by Raytheon, looks and feels like a video game but operates real drones. From a console in the United States, you hunt and kill people in Iraq or Afghanistan. Will the drone pilots of tomorrow—kids who have grown up on PlayStations—feel the mortal gravity of what they're doing? Have we made killing too easy? No, says a new report from the Associated Press. The story, published in newspapers across the country, is headlined, "Remote-control warriors suffer war stress." It begins: "The Air National Guardsmen who operate Predator drones over Iraq via remote control, launching deadly missile attacks from the safety of Southern California 7,000 miles away, are suffering some of the same psychological stresses as their comrades on the battlefield." How could drone piloting cause the same stress as being in combat? The AP reporter, Scott Lindlaw, offers several reasons. One is that drone pilots work longer shifts and tours than pilots in the war zone. Another is the daily "whiplash transition" between being a console killer and being a soccer dad. "They're putting a missile down somebody's chimney and taking out bad guys, and the next thing they're taking their wife out to dinner, their kids to school," says an Air Force officer. A third reason is that unmanned aircraft, unlike manned ones, are often assigned to remain over the target and assess the damage. "When you come in at 500-600 mph, drop a 500-pound bomb and then fly away, you don't see what happens," a wing commander explains. But when you fire a drone missile, "you watch it all the way to impact." Furthermore, Lindlaw notes, the video in a drone console, unlike the view from a traditional plane, shows the resulting fatalities "in high-resolution detail." These are all intriguing factors. They might well explain why drone pilots suffer the same stress as battlefield combatants—or even more. But despite these factors, Lindlaw's evidence indicates that, in fact, drone pilots don't suffer the same degree of stress. To the military's credit, Lindlaw finds that bases in four states have brought in chaplains to counsel drone pilots. One has even Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC "enlisted the services of psychologists and psychiatrists to help ease the mental strain." The only thing in short supply seems to be the mental strain itself. "In interviews with five of the dozens of pilots and sensor operators at the various bases, none said they had been particularly troubled by their mission," Lindlaw reports. "Col. Gregg Davies, commander of the 214th Reconnaissance Group in Tucson, Ariz., said he knows of no member of his team who has experienced any trauma from launching a Predator attack," Lindlaw writes. The only quantifiable impact he can find comes from Col. Chris Chambliss, a commander at Creech Air Force Base in Nevada: "On four or five occasions, [drone] sensor operators have sought out a chaplain or supervisor after an attack, Chambliss said. He emphasized that the number of such cases is very small compared to the number of people involved in Predator operations." Compare this weak, absent, or asymptomatic evidence to the data on post-traumatic stress disorder among Air Force personnel overall. Last year, 871 airmen were diagnosed with PTSD. And that's the lowest score among the armed services. Eighteen to 30 percent of all military personnel are estimated to have developed symptoms of PTSD or depression. The AP story is notable for documenting the very existence of mental stress among drone pilots. It shows that operating a real hunter, killer, or spy aircraft from the faraway safety of a gamestyle console affects some operators in a way that video games don't. But it doesn't show that firing a missile from a console feels like being there—or that it haunts the triggerman the same way. Indeed, the paucity of evidence—despite the brutal work shifts, the superior video quality, and the additional burden of watching the target take the hit—suggests that it feels quite different. My guess is that the difference lies in the remaining factor cited in the story: the "whiplash transition" between the physical world of your family and the virtual world of your faraway drone. Living in the console for a full work shift, with your country's missions, assets, and personnel at stake, is more intense than playing Halo. Walking out of the room and trying to resume your physical life is disorienting. But these factors can't match the stress of physical presence in combat. The point of the drone, after all, is to insulate you. Lindlaw's reporting doesn't settle the question either way. But he's on the right track. The armed forces should monitor drone operators systematically and track the effects of living in this whiplash world, where you kill on a video screen and then go home to your spouse and kids. Human nature has never been tested in such alternating semi-virtual reality. We may well discover that it combines the worst of all three worlds: the stress of missions, the desensitization of video gaming, and the 62/140 whiplash of transitioning between physical and synthetic environments. The wing leaders who supervise drone operations regard mission stress as the main hazard. They worry about sensor operators, who guide the missiles to their targets and are often, as Lindlaw points out, "on their first assignment and just 18 or 19 years old." They fear that the on-screen killing will rattle these kids. Maybe they're right. My fear is that it won't. jurisprudence C.S.Oy Forensic science is badly in need of reform. Here are some suggestions. By Radley Balko and Roger Koppl Tuesday, August 12, 2008, at 12:43 PM ET Last week, the state of Mississippi terminated its 20-year relationship with medical examiner Dr. Steven Hayne. Hayne has come under fire from fellow medical examiners, criminal justice groups like the Innocence Project, and one of the authors of this article for his impossible workload, sloppy procedures, and questionable court testimony. In the early 1990s, Hayne and his frequent collaborator, now-disgraced forensic odontologist Dr. Michael West, helped secure murder convictions for Kennedy Brewer and Levon Brooks, both later proven innocent through DNA testing. The two were released from prison earlier this year. Mississippi is hardly alone when it comes to bad forensic science. It now appears that Washington, D.C., may have to retry Angela O'Brien for the 2000 killing of her 2-year-old goddaughter, Brianna Blackmond, after revelations that the prosecution's star forensic witness, a physicist named Saami Shaibani, lied about his credentials in a Wisconsin murder case. These are only the most recent and dramatic examples of forensics fraud to make the headlines. Over the years, there have been plenty of other hucksters and charlatans happy to take advantage of the ignorance of juries, prosecutors, judges, and defense attorneys in very complicated and difficult-tounderstand disciplines. But the charlatans are only half the story. Courts have also missed plenty of mistakes from well-intentioned, conscientious scientists, too. In fact, these may be even more common—and harder to catch. Studies show that crime lab fiber, paint, and body fluid analyses, for example, may consistently have error rates of 10 percent or higher. The error rate in fingerprint analysis is possibly between 1 percent and 4 percent. And bite mark evidence is notoriously unreliable though still widely used. The Chicago Tribune reported in July that L. Thomas Johnson— Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC one of forensic odontology's pioneers—has been attempting to use statistical models to shore up the reliability of this discredited field. But Johnson's efforts have been hampered by new DNA testing in a 1984 murder, which concluded that the man convicted of the crime was not the source of saliva found on the victim's sweater. Johnson testified for the prosecution in that case. The use of forensic science in criminal trials is critically important. But reforms of the system are also desperately needed. It's not enough to weed out the incompetent scientists. We need to begin to monitor even the good ones. One major barrier to improving forensic evidence in criminal trials is that in most jurisdictions, the state has a monopoly on experts. Crime lab analysts and medical examiners (and to a lesser extent DNA technicians) typically work for the government and are generally seen as part of the prosecution's "team," much like the police and investigators. Yes, science is science, and it would be nice to believe that scientists will always get at the truth no matter whom they report to. But studies have consistently shown that even conscientious scientists can be affected by cognitive bias. A scientist whose job performance is evaluated by a senior official in the district attorney or state attorney general's office may feel subtle pressure to return results that produce convictions. In cases in which district attorneys' offices contract work out to private labs, the labs may feel pressure—even if it's not explicit (though sometimes it is)—to produce favorable results in order to continue the relationship. Cognitive bias can be even subtler. For some experts, merely knowing the details of a crime or discussing it with police or prosecutors beforehand can introduce significant bias to a lab technician's analysis. A research team led by Seton Hall law professor Michael Risinger published a study in the January 2002 California Law Review identifying five stages of scientific analysis in which bias can affect even the most professional expert's opinion. The study was careful to note that these biases were unintentional and not the result of outright fraud. But according to the study, cognitive bias can factor into the ways in which a scientist observes the initial data, records that data, and makes calculations and also how he remembers and reinterprets his notes when preparing for trial—a problem that looms larger as time elapses between the lab work and trial testimony. Most jurors aren't aware of any of these biases; in fact, most give enormous weight to expert witnesses. Even out-and-out frauds like West and Shaibani can persuade jurors if they're presented in court as reputable experts, appear likeable, and can testify with conviction. A study of the first 86 DNA exonerations garnered by the Innocence Project estimated that faulty forensic science played a role in more than 50 percent of the wrongful convictions. While it's obviously not possible to completely 63/140 eradicate bias and scientific error from the courtroom, a few simple and relatively inexpensive reforms could go a long way toward reducing it. Here are a few more recommendations: Forensic counsel for the indigent. In many jurisdictions, indigent defendants aren't given access to their own forensic experts. As a result, the only expert witnesses are often testifying for the prosecution—experts that come prepackaged with the inherent biases noted above. This undermines the whole adversarial basis of our criminal justice system. Indigent defendants should be given vouchers to hire their own experts, who can review the forensic analysis and conclusions of each prosecution expert. Expert independence. Crime labs, DNA labs, and medical examiners shouldn't serve under the same bureaucracy as district attorneys and police agencies. If these experts must work for the government, they should report to an independent state agency, if not the courts themselves. There should be a wall of separation between analysis and interpretation. Thus, an independent medical examiner would, for instance, perform and videotape the actual procedure in an autopsy. The prosecution and defense would then each bring in their own experts to interpret the results in court. When the same expert performs both the analysis and interpretation, defense experts are often at a disadvantage, having to rely on the notes and photos of the same expert whose testimony they're disputing. Rivalrous redudancy. Whether the state uses its own labs or contracts out to private labs, evidence should periodically and systematically be sent out to yet another competing lab for verification. The state's labs should be made aware that their work will occasionally be checked but not told when. In addition to helping discover errors that might otherwise go undetected, the introduction of competition to government labs would all but remove any subconscious incentive to appease police and prosecutors and would strengthen the incentive for a more objective analysis. Statistical analysis. The results from forensic labs should be regularly analyzed for statistical anomalies. Labs producing unusually high match rates should throw up red flags for further examination. For example, in 2004 Houston medical examiner Patricia Moore was found to have diagnosed shaken-baby syndrome in infant autopsies at a rate several times higher than the national average. This led to an investigation—and the reopening of several convictions that had relied on Moore's testimony. Mask the evidence. A 2006 U.K. study by researchers at the University of Southampton found that the error rate of fingerprint analysts doubled when they were first told the circumstances of the case they were working on. Crime lab technicians and medical examiners should never be permitted to consult with police or prosecutors before performing their Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC analysis. A dramatic child murder case, for example, may induce a greater subconscious bias to find a match than a burglary case. To the extent that it's possible, evidence should be stripped of all context before being sent to the lab. Ideally, state or city officials might hire a neutral "evidence shepherd," whose job would be to deliver crime-scene evidence to the labs and oversee the process of periodically sending evidence to secondary labs for verification. These proposed reforms would go a long way toward correcting the problems of bias and improper incentives in the forensics system. They're also relatively inexpensive—particularly when compared with the cost of a wrongful conviction. (In the Brooks and Brewer exonerations noted above, the state of Mississippi paid for both the prosecution and defense in two high-profile murder trials, three decades of unnecessary incarceration, several rounds of appeals, and will likely have to pay each man millions of dollars in compensation.) The continuing stories of forensics error and wrongful convictions are troubling but not all that surprising. Our criminal justice system is centuries old. It just hasn't adapted well to the dramatic advances in science and technology over the past 30 years. But as forensic evidence becomes more and more important in securing convictions, the need for monitoring and oversight grows exponentially. Every other scientific field properly requires peer review, statistical analysis, and redundancy to ensure quality and accuracy. It's past time we applied the same quality-control measures to criminal forensics, particularly given the fundamental nature of what's at stake. map the candidates He's Not Skiing McCain is in Colorado for a speech at the Aspen Institute. By E.J. Kalafarski and Chadwick Matlin Thursday, August 14, 2008, at 1:20 PM ET medical examiner Organ Failure Doing battle with the National Kidney Foundation. By Sally Satel Friday, August 15, 2008, at 7:06 AM ET Early this summer, the American Medical Association voted to lobby Congress to permit the study of financial incentives for organ donation. With nearly 100,000 people on the national transplant list and 18 dying every day for want of an organ, the AMA resolution to address the organ shortage could not be more timely. 64/140 And yet the National Kidney Foundation, the nation's largest advocacy group for people with kidney disease, won't be a reliable ally. The NKF, which has a $32 million annual budget and is to kidney disease what the American Lung Association is to asthma, says it laments that thousands "die while waiting for that 'Gift of Life.' " But instead of locking arms with the AMA, the kidney foundation is poised to sabotage the association's efforts—in keeping with its recent practice of blocking any attempt to explore the possibility of compensating organ donors. Why the stubborn opposition? When I spoke with Dolph Chianchiano, senior vice president for health policy and research at the NKF, he told me that "compensating donors would cheapen the gift" and lead to fewer people donating overall. As a kidney recipient, I find this hard to fathom. When I was facing years on dialysis, any healthy kidney, paid for or not, would have been precious to me. What about would-be donors? Won't some be more likely to donate their kidneys, or the organs of their family members, because of the prospect of a financial reward? And if others don't benefit in this way themselves, will they really be dissuaded because other people somewhere in the country accepted a form of payment? When asked in a 2005 Gallup poll commissioned by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services whether "payments" would affect their willingness to give a family member's organs, 19 percent answered "more likely," while 9 percent said "less likely." That margin favors donation. Young people were especially receptive. One-third of 18-to-34-year-olds said the offer of incentives would make them "more likely" to give a family member's organs, compared with 7 percent who said "less likely." There's additional evidence that the NKF is wrong here. Paying for other products of the body, such as sperm, ova, and wombs (as in maternal surrogacy) is accepted and has not created shortages. When someone donates his or her body to science, medical schools and tissue processing companies cover the costs of cremation or the burial costs of the entire donated body after dissection or experimental use. The NKF also makes the standard argument that compensation for organs "could propel other countries to sanction an unethical and unjust standard of immense proportions, one in which the wealthy readily obtain organs from the poor." But India, Pakistan, China, the Philippines, Colombia, and other countries already harbor flourishing underground markets. Compensating donors in America won't spur more wealthy patients to travel abroad for organs. It's more likely to show other governments how to conduct a safe and transparent system of exchange under the rule of law. In the end, more people will receive transplants in their home country. In the end, of course, the effect of compensation on organ supply is a question that only pilot projects can answer. This is what the NKF is trying to suppress. And yet the foundation once Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC understood the need to experiment. In 1993, the NKF endorsed payment of burial expenses for deceased organ donors, a plan passed by the Pennsylvania Legislature. The foundation also supported a House bill in 1999 that would have granted a $10,000 life insurance policy to families with benefits payable upon transplantation of the deceased's organs. At the time, the chairman of NKF's Office of Scientific and Public Policy testified, "We would support at least a pilot study on financial incentives." It is unclear why the NKF has become less tolerant of incentives as the organ shortage grows more critical with time. But whatever the reason, it forcefully obstructed efforts at reform in 2003—the last time Congress debated bold incentives. That year, House legislation called for noncash rewards, specifying life insurance policies or annuities to the families of the deceased, not an unfettered free market. But the NKF denounced the proposal, railing against "global economists who would import a poor person into this country" to sell an organ. The bill died in committee, partly because of the NKF's efforts. On the Senate side in 2003, the NKF used its clout to kill a provision to study incentives. Afterward, the NKF boasted on its Web site that "a successful advocacy effort by NKF resulted in the removal of the provision." Imagine the American Cancer Society bragging about having derailed an experimental project that might help breast cancer patients—especially when other respected groups were in favor of the measure. I have long been mystified by the NKF's stalwart opposition to pilot studies. I was spurred to write now about my puzzlement by a recent encounter with the long arm of the foundation. At the end of July, I was invited to speak about the case for donor compensation at a regional transplant conference. Three days later, I was disinvited. Apparently, my chagrined host had not vetted the topic with the local NKF chapter, which was cosponsoring the event. "I regret that I am having to withdraw my invitation," he wrote me. The co-sponsoring NKF affiliate, he continued, "was very much concerned about repercussions from the New York office, which they think would view the talk as a repudiation of the party line." The NKF similarly tried to stifle a debate on organ incentives at the American Enterprise Institute in 2006. To be fair, the NKF does some good. It holds scores of fundraising charity events. It offers the public free screening for kidney disease and makes research grants to scientists. The NKF vigorously lobbies Medicare for better reimbursement rates for dialysis care, and, for better or worse (as some nephrologists will tell you), the foundation's guidelines for dialysis set the standard of care for the 380,000 U.S. patients who receive that treatment. Congress listens to the NKF because it is a major force within the transplant community. But the foundation's recalcitrance on financial incentives for organ donors is hurting the very constituency it purports to serve. Last year, 4,000 dialysis 65/140 patients died because they could not survive the wait for an organ. When Congress returns in the fall, the AMA will begin its push for demonstration projects on incentives. The NKF will have a chance to return to its earlier common-sense philosophy about rewarding organ donors. Unless it grasps the opportunity, the foundation should not call itself a true advocate for kidney patients. medical examiner Alternative Universe The homeopathic crowd meets academic medicine. By Kent Sepkowitz Wednesday, August 13, 2008, at 12:36 PM ET Few things rankle doctors more than alternative (aka complementary, integrative, holistic, homeopathic, naturopathic) medicine. First came the misery inflicted by the ever-expanding celebrity of practitioners like Andrew Weil and Gary Null (and, for a while, even Radovan Karadzic). And now there is the arrival at the NIH feeding trough of the alternative medicine crowd, angling for a mouthful of the same research dollars that currently fund investigations like "the structural basis for translation termination on the 70S ribosome." same amount that efforts to combat stroke, improve food safety, and further develop gene therapy each receive. A Brit, lamenting a similar resource shift in his country, has equated this to murder, writing that had money "spent on refurbishing the Royal Homeopathic hospital" been used instead for effective though expensive drugs to treat breast cancer, hundreds of lives a year would be saved. Who should prevail in this struggle between naturalistic healers and ass-kickers with syringes full of chemotherapy? In a sense, neither side. Both have much to offer and plenty to be embarrassed about. To date, neither has established an allencompassing operation so wondrous that it should demand monogamy from patients. So far, though, the problem with pairing the two disciplines at your corner medical center is that it mostly serves to diminish each: The West looks spent and flabby, a bully gone to seed, while the East seems like a kid with a new car and no clue how to drive. The enforcers of the Western orthodoxy are the preening evidenced-based medicine crowd, those notorious killjoys who operate on the almost amusing premise that every square inch of medicine is built upon reason, the product of a rationally ordered stainless-steel world. If no evidence, they insist, then no truth. And if no truth, get thee out of my medical center. They briskly have swept away the entire alternative field, viewing chelation, St. John's wort, and music therapy, for example, as interchangeably absurd. Though initially caught flat-footed, academic medicine rallied, as it always does when big bucks are on offer. After decades of belittling the alternative folk as a bunch of snake-oil salesmen and sleazeballs, academic medical centers suddenly realized that—guess what—they were big fans of the approach all along. Yale University is one of the latest brand-name institutions to go through the change. Last year, it joined 40 other medical schools in the Consortium of Academic Health Centers for Integrative Medicine, and began the awkward dance that has characterized such mergers. But to consider the issue more closely, we have to define alternative medicine with greater care. A 2004 government report divided the field into four big pieces: 1) biologically based practices, including herbs, special diets, and megavitamins; 2) energy medicine, which embraces the concept of magnetic fields; 3) manipulative and body-based practices such as massage and yoga; and 4) mind-body medicine, including prayer and meditation. Viewed one way, the migration of alternative medicine to the academic mainstream is a fine example of the might of popular will. After all, a 2004 survey revealed that 36 percent of adults in the United States have used alternative medicine at one time or another. If megavitamins and prayer are included, the proportion rises to 62 percent. Costly attempts to demonstrate efficacy, paid for with taxpayer dollars, have been launched in each of the four areas. To date, as recently detailed, the results have been awful. Take the example of echinacea, an herb used by 40 percent of all natural product gobblers, who take it to ameliorate the symptoms of the common cold. Echinacea was rushed into numerous clinical trials. The result: The research shows that it doesn't work. Or even sort of work. A darker view, though, is held by hard-core old-schoolers. Some of their objections are hyperventilation: They massage people! To make theme feel better! More seriously, they cast the encroachment of alternative medicine onto academic turf as a threat to American health because it's diverting money for research and care from traditional approaches. For the last six years, alternative medicine has received about 1 percent of the $28 billion annual NIH budget, or $300 million a year. That's the Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Rather than admit that they're discouraged or embarrassed by this cold, hard evidence, the alterna-crowd has claimed (OK, whined) that academic-type studies by definition are stacked against them. They consider the bedrock of Western medicine— the randomized, placebo-controlled, double-blind clinical trial— too hard-edged and difficult to implement, just the sort of cruelhearted gaming of people and disease that so characterizes most things Western. With echinacea and other botanicals, they make 66/140 the additional complaint that the various trials used the wrong preparation of the magic herb. This problem is indeed critical and slows the pace of assessing various alternative remedies. Unlike standard pharmaceuticals, the production of which is fiercely regulated (another example of the sharp-elbowed West), production of echinacea and its cousins is more laid back. This helps the producer who can sell his wares with little interference, but it's a bit of a nightmare when it comes to mounting a costly clinical trial. If one guy's preparation does or doesn't work, does that mean another echinacea will or won't work, too? The looseness of the alternative approach is part of its appeal—but also hinders it from finding sure footing in the academic realm. At the same time, to dismiss alternative medicine too quickly is to miss a central question: What is the role of health care? Is the enterprise aimed only at preventing and treating illness, or should it also try to make us feel better? Treating an illness Western-style can mean chopping off a leg, giving chemotherapy, hooking someone up to dialysis. All of this is done to score the touchdown of American medicine: extension of survival by a week, a month, a year, anything. No doctor wants a patient to suffer, but in the Western view the long-term goal of survival comes first. The focus of many Eastern approaches, on the other hand, is on feeling better now rather than lasting longer. And this is something altogether different. The two goals—treatment and prevention on the one hand and making patients feel better on the other—really are often at odds. And in the future, they surely will diverge further as Western medicine becomes even more technologically sophisticated. A treatment with stem-cell or gene therapy isn't going to be like drinking a glass of orange juice in the morning. The disruption and discomfort the therapies likely will inflict may make today's medicine seem mild. The best response to the über-tech may be an equal and opposite move toward the more benign alternative realm. Alternative medicine needs money and many years to find its way, and despite the early setbacks for echinacea and other treatments, it would be a mistake to call off the federal investment. Such an absolutist stance ignores the observations of thousands of people over thousands of years as well as the true pace of medical progress, which is at best herky-jerky and aimless. That's not to say that alternative medicine is the equal of Western medicine, or will prove to be, many millions of research funds later. As Steve Jobs discovered, a special organic diet will not cure pancreatic cancer, whereas a six-hour surgery might. As brutal as Western medicine is, it remains a wonder of the modern world. So let's hope that the two sides can find room for each other: The West needs the East's soothing calm to round out its prickliness, while the East needs the West's thuggish urge to push ahead and prove results. I think that's called yin and yang. movies There's Something About Robert Downey Jr. Watch him play a white guy playing a black guy in Tropic Thunder. By Dana Stevens Wednesday, August 13, 2008, at 2:10 PM ET If you go see Tropic Thunder this weekend, don't be late. The four fake ads that open the movie are perhaps the apex of its considerable comic invention. After a sleazy pitch for an energy drink called Alpa Chino's Booty Sweat, we're treated, or subjected, to trailers for three abysmal-looking upcoming movies titled Scorcher VI: Global Meltdown, The Fatties: Fart 2, and Satan's Alley (that last being a kind of medieval remake of Brokeback Mountain, in which closeted monks played by Robert Downey Jr. and Tobey Maguire furtively fondle each other's rosaries). These trailers are not only uproarious in their own right; they serve as nifty exposition tools for Ben Stiller (directing for the first time since the 2001 Zoolander), who can now plunge us into his deranged universe without needing to provide back stories for the four main characters. We learn that Alpa Chino (Brandon T. Jackson), purveyor of Booty Sweat, is a rapper trying to break into acting. Tugg Speedman (Stiller), aka the Scorcher, is a fading action star hoping to move into serious roles. The flatulent star of the Fatties franchise, Jeff Portnoy (Jack Black), is also in quest of acting cred, though his heroin habit stands in his way. And Kirk Lazarus (Downey Jr.) is an Australian method actor who submerges himself in his characters to a disturbing degree. As the real movie (or is it?) opens, these four Hollywood brats find themselves in a Southeast Asian jungle, shooting a war epic under the direction of Damien Cockburn (Steve Coogan), who, in turn, is subject to the whims of tyrannical studio head Les Grossman (Tom Cruise, oh my God, Tom Cruise—but more on that later). The project is quickly going south—four days into shooting, report the tabloids, it's already a month behind schedule—and Grossman is threatening to shut the whole thing down. In a desperate meeting with Four Leaf Tayback (Nick Nolte), the Vietnam vet whose memoir inspired the film, Cockburn agrees to try shooting "guerilla-style": He'll strand his actors in the jungle with hidden cameras, terrify them with faked explosions (rigged by the movie's tech guru, Cody, played brilliantly by Danny McBride), and film them as they make their way back to civilization without cell phones, assistants, masseuses, or other perks of the trade. In addition to the fake perils Cody has set out for them, the actors fall prey to some real ones: A local drug gang led by a teenage warlord (Brandon Soo Hoo) mistakes the Americans for Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC 67/140 DEA agents and starts hunting them through the jungle. Internecine struggle begins among the team of thespians as the credulous Speedman insists this is all part of the filmmakers' plan while the marginally smarter Lazarus tries to lead the group to safety. When the gong sounded, I was alone in the stone tower— A bristle of wings in the ivy, dry-necked mortar in the walls. Did I mention that Downey's character is in blackface this entire time? Well, not exactly blackface; with DeNiro-like intensity, Lazarus has undergone a surgical skin-darkening procedure to prepare himself for the plum role of an African-American soldier. The fact that his fellow cast member, Jackson's Alpa Chino, is an actual black man in a much smaller role bothers Lazarus not at all. In one of the movie's funniest scenes, he enfolds the younger actor in a brotherly embrace while intoning a speech about race relations that begins, "Over 400 years ago …" and culminates in a solemn recitation of the lyrics from The Jeffersons' theme song. Anyone walking into Tropic Thunder looking to be offended by Downey's minstrel turn will soon find that the movie is two steps ahead. His role is no one-note, let'sshock-the-audience race joke—it's a densely layered little study of American racial anxiety. In an ongoing gag, Lazarus never breaks character; even when his life is in peril, he maintains his soul-brother voice and tone of mau-mauing self-pity. Obsessed with authenticity, he's the biggest phony there is. ************Come back to your simple Robert Downey Jr. knocking a role like this out of the park is no surprise. But who could have foreseen Tom Cruise nearly stealing the movie in a fat suit, a prosthetic nose, a skinhead wig, and an Austin Powers-style mat of chest fur? Cruise is always at his best when he's skewering some unpleasant aspect of his own persona; thus, the crazed motivational speaker he played in Magnolia was a career high point, and the supremely crude Les Grossman is another. Maybe as the head of United Artists, Cruise really does spew vicious obscenities on the phone and engage in triumphant hip-hop dances in an underground bunker of an office. At any rate, never has a role so cannily taken advantage of Cruise's compact, thumblike body shape—that is, his physical resemblance to a penis. As Les Grossman, he's a literal and figurative dick, and it's the role of a lifetime. I sat like a monk at prayer. Wind whistled through the cracks And I heard you call me: ************Table, your garden of burgundy lilies, that chair in the corner ************Where you can see chickadees on the feeder chased off ************By squirrels. We can give you solitude. Soup. We can bring ************The moon to you by cutting a branch from the sycamore. ************We hurt you because we are human. We couldn't ************Hear your voice in a hurricane's silence. Then I called to you: ************You haven't wronged me. I've needed to live as I have, ************With suppose as the friend I turn to. ************I haven't loved you deeply enough. The mockingbird ************In the ivy could not steal my song otherwise. The bird left me. The gong was gone. I opened my door to the wild stairs. politics Slate V: Why Blackface? 82 Days and Counting Why campaigns feel like they never have enough time. By John Dickerson Thursday, August 14, 2008, at 6:49 PM ET poem "A Bristle of Wings in the Ivy" By Teresa Cader Tuesday, August 12, 2008, at 6:54 AM ET Listen to Teresa Cader read . Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Barack Obama is on vacation in Hawaii, but there is no rest at his Chicago headquarters. The 3,300-square-foot office is teeming with humans. The first thing I notice when I walk in is the body heat. In the vast bullpen of desks and cubicles, the Obama staff types stare into laptops and pace—sometimes in flip-flops—while talking on cell phones. You think you're walking down a hallway, but then, watch out, someone might be sitting where you were about to plant your foot, grabbing an extra inch of space. Open laptops line desks like they're on 68/140 showroom display. Office chairs crowd so close to one another that their casters kiss (as would their occupants, if they were to turn their heads). Pictures, maps, and hand-drawn signs clot the walls, making the place look like a huge ransom note. One small piece of paper tacked between two doors reads, "82 Days to go." In campaign time, this means that when you're sleep-deprived and crazed, the race feels like it's never going to end—but the rest of the time it feels like you'll never accomplish everything you need to. The pace of a hyper-fast news cycle means that the back-and-forth between opponents that used to take up a week can now be dispatched with in an afternoon. But the most significant parts of campaigning are still tied to the moon and sun. The candidate can be in only one place at a time. Door knocking, perhaps the most valuable way to mobilize voters, cannot be done via e-mail blast. These physical limitations mean that as the campaigns head for their conventions, the calendar, in fact, is much tighter than the two and a half months remaining might make it seem. The most precious days for a campaign are those on which the candidate's time and attention are free and the news has left open a window for projecting a specific message into voters' ears. If a candidate can push the same message over several of these days consecutively, there's a much better chance it will stick. A threeday Obama bus tour through rural areas has the potential to show that the candidate connects with people outside his urban base. John McCain could spend the same amount of time visiting kitchen tables to push the message that he really understands people's economic woes. But already in this election, the speedy and unpredictable news coverage has made it harder than ever to devote a few days to a single subject. The news blows the principals off-course (or in McCain's case, he does it himself). It's about to get worse. As soon as each candidate picks a running mate, the whirlwind frenzy will double. There will be four people who can make campaign news rather than just two. This increases the chances that a campaign's plans for the day will get hijacked. The 82 days left on the calendar are also packed with compulsory exercises. The three weeks after this one go to vice presidential selection and the rollout of the dream team, followed by the political conventions. For a brief interlude during that period, each campaign will get the best days it can imagine—the clear skies of massive press coverage with very little filter. The rest of the time will be hard to control. The candidates won't want to make news that contradicts what's going on at their own party conventions. For the candidate whose convention week it is not (McCain in the last week of August, Obama in the first week of September), the news cycle becomes hard to break into. immediately they'll observe a truce on and around Sept. 11. Two weeks after that, the debates start. There are three presidential debates and one vice presidential debate, scheduled for the second half of September and the first part of October. Each one requires prep time. On the day of the debate, the candidates don't campaign. For at least a day or two afterward, they have to address the fallout. Remember how many days were eaten up during the Democratic primary talking about driver's licenses for illegal aliens? Once the debates are over, it's mid-October. That leaves roughly three weeks before voting, right? Not if you live in important states like Colorado, Virginia, and Ohio, just some of the 31 states that allow voters to cast early ballots. Early voting by mail in Ohio, in particular, may allow the candidates to take advantage of thousands of first-time voters more than a month before official Election Day. Thus the first votes of the 2008 election will be cast only 40 days from now. Adding to the urgency is the potentially larger number of states that could be up for grabs. There's no better way to own a state media market for a period of time than to put a candidate in that state. If there were only 10 battlegrounds, it would be difficult to map out a schedule for maximum impact. Barack Obama's campaign says he's trying to compete in twice that many states. That might be spin to throw off the McCain campaign, or it might be a more realistic reading of a strong Democratic year. We'll know for sure how serious Obama is about his strategy as time dwindles, because with each day, the candidate's time gets more precious. If the Obama campaign doesn't put Obama in North Carolina and Georgia, we'll know they aren't really banking on strong showings there. As time grows short, campaigns will show that they can move quickly and nimbly. The mass of staffers in Obama's Chicago headquarters and their counterparts at McCain's headquarters in Alexandria, Va., can design a three-day bus tour almost overnight, renting buses, finding venues, filling them with people, arranging local media interviews, and orchestrating logistics for all the traveling press and campaign bodies. They can adapt back at home as well. In Chicago, the Obama campaign staff has spilled over onto a new floor to make more space. If only they could find a way to make more time. politics The Lives of Barack Obama An interactive timeline by Slate. By Christopher Beam and Chris Wilson Monday, August 11, 2008, at 5:22 PM ET By the second week of September, the conventions will be over and the campaigns can engage in earnest. But then almost Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC 69/140 There are at least two versions of Barack Obama's life: There's his version—the story he tells in his speeches, op-eds, and books. Then there's the media's version—news articles, columns, and investigative pieces about him as he rose to prominence and since his presidential campaign began. We can learn a lot by comparing the two. To that end, Slate has compiled Obama's speeches, his writings, contemporary news accounts of his life, and recent retrospective articles to show how Obama's life looks different depending on who's looking. Everyone agrees on the basic facts of Obama's biography. But not everyone emphasizes the same points. In his speeches, Obama talks about his Chicago organizing days much more than his two years at Occidental College in Los Angeles. He mentions growing up in Hawaii more than he discusses his childhood in Indonesia. Some of that is just good storytelling. But some of it is deliberately curatorial. Obama visited his grandparents' home in Kansas during the campaign, for example, but friends from Harvard were discouraged from talking to the press. Despite his accomplishments at Harvard, Obama doesn't mention them once in the speeches archived on his Web site (although they are featured in his online biography). Likewise, the campaign rarely discusses his time working at a law firm in Chicago before entering the Illinois Senate. The timeline below lets you examine Obama's life through various lenses. Click the tab along the top that says "Speeches" and you'll see how often he talks about each period of his life, with links to the speeches themselves. Click the "Autobiography" tab to see how much he writes about each era in his books. Click on "Recent News" to see how often newspapers and magazines dedicate to those periods. Or click "Contemporary News" to see how much coverage he got at the time. (Here's our methodology.) We intend this to be an evolving tool. If we missed any major feature stories about Obama in Jakarta, for example, send them along. If you think there's a better way to measure the campaign's emphasis on different parts of his life, let us know. We'll update it as needed and see if the shape of Obama's life changes between now and November, and beyond. sidebar Return to article Methodology Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC First, we divided Obama's life by geographical location and major turning points in his career—the Hawaii years, the early Chicago years, his time as an Illinois state senator, and so forth. In some cases we had to fudge it—for example, his monthlong trip to Kenya in 1988, to which Obama devotes a full third of his first memoir, looks like a year on the timeline. In examining Obama's own writings, we looked at how many pages he devoted in his two books—Dreams From My Father and The Audacity of Hope—to each period of his life. We also examined his speeches, counting the number of times since 2002 he has publicly discussed these periods. To measure contemporary news coverage, we searched Nexis for mentions of "Barack Obama." (The Honolulu Advertiser really dropped the ball on the story of the century, "Barack Obama Is Born.") To measure retrospective news coverage, we compiled all the recent investigative pieces from major news sources we could find. This last method is fairly subjective, so if there's anything big we missed, let us know. (Some articles cover more than one period of his life.) press box Conventional Nonsense Making the case for a press boycott of the national political conventions. By Jack Shafer Wednesday, August 13, 2008, at 6:57 PM ET With just one exception over the last three decades, the two major parties have known the identity of their likely presidential candidate weeks or even months before gaveling their national political conventions open. For that reason, one way to improve coverage of the four-day, quadrennial conventions of Republicans and Democrats would be for the TV networks to assign sportscasters like Bob Costas, Joe Morgan, and John Madden instead of political journalists to report on the gatherings. They know how to make a game with a foregone conclusion seem entertaining. A still better way to improve convention coverage would be to withdraw all reporters and force the curious to rely on a C-SPAN feed: Unless a brokered convention threatens to break out, these political gatherings tend to produce very little real news. Yet the networks, the newspapers, the magazines, and the Web sites continue to insist on sending battalions of reporters to sift for itsy specks of information. According to Forbes, 15,000 pressies are expected to attend each of the conventions. Slate, I'm embarrassed to admit, is sending a team of eight to Denver and six to St. Paul. Attention! Don Graham! We're spending your cash like it's Zimbabwean bank notes! While your average political reporter doesn't think the conventions are a waste of time and resources, he's likely to 70/140 agree that nothing very newsworthy actually happens at them. Oh, he may filibuster about how a looming platform battle promises to produce fissures in the party. But if you observe that platforms are written to be ignored by the candidate, he'll drop his point. Or he may argue that meeting all the important politicos up close at the convention will produce future news dividends. But he'll pout if you ask him whether the intimacy justifies the expense, which can easily exceed $3,000 per reporter for a bare-bones visit. (A single seat in the designated workspace area at a convention can cost more than $1,000, and an Internet connection is $850. Snacks purchased at the convention make ballpark food look affordable.) Maureen Dowd to write about the pitiful political performances. But such a gimmick is hard to sustain. Knowing that the networks need a spectacle like the one staged at the opening of the Beijing Olympics to draw viewers, Barack Obama has scheduled a speech to the Democratic faithful at the 70,000-pluscapacity Invesco Field. I'll bet that all the fireworks will be faked. ****** As a last resort, he'll talk up the importance of covering vital speeches such as the ones given by Ann Richards*, Ted Kennedy, Pat Buchanan, and Barack Obama at previous conventions. This year, his eyes might glow with visions of a Clinton-Obama feud. When he stoops that low, you'll know you've won the debate. I'd rather watch 24 hours of C-SPAN transmissions of hearings before the Senate Committee on Agriculture, Nutrition, and Forestry than five minutes of either convention. My favorite CSpan show is Prime Minister's Questions. What's yours? Send program suggestions to slate.pressbox@gmail.com. (E-mail may be quoted by name in "The Fray," Slate's readers' forum; in a future article; or elsewhere unless the writer stipulates otherwise. Disclosure: Andrew Ferguson is a friend. Permanent disclosure: Slate is owned by the Washington Post Co.) As if on a mission to make the conventions even less substantive, the presumptive presidential candidates have taken to announcing their running mates before the party convenes. Party officials similarly do their best to vet convention speeches and speakers to make absolute certain that nobody says anything provocative. I'm convinced that the main reason the Democrats aren't giving John Edwards podium time this go-round is because voters finally want to hear him talk. Track my errors: This hand-built RSS feed will ring every time Slate runs a "Press Box" correction. For e-mail notification of errors in this specific column, type the word conventions in the subject head of an e-mail message and send it to slate.pressbox@gmail.com. Why do the parties throw their meaningless conventions? As Andrew Ferguson wrote in the Weekly Standard four years ago, the no-news extravaganza of a convention is excellent news for them. But what excuse do thousands of reporters have for attending? According to Ferguson, in the weeks leading up to the conventions, the press traditionally complains about the "empty ritual" of the "infomercial" that the parties have "choreographed." But that's just for show. They fight their colleagues for the honor to attend because a political convention is a gas to cover. It's like a vacation, only no spouses! There's free food, plenty of booze, nice hotels, lots of pals in the press and politics dishing gossip, and the assignment is easy to report. Ferguson concludes that political conventions exist only to make the second convention—the "journalists' convention"—possible. "The parasite has consumed the host," he wrote. sidebar If the political press corps were honest, they'd start every convention story with the finding that nothing important happened that day and that your attention is not needed. Or they'd go searching toilet stalls for somebody with a wide stance. Instead, they satisfy themselves by being the co-producers of a bad reality-TV show about the coronation of a man who would be king. At past conventions, the New York Times capitalized on the faux drama by teaming reformed theater critic Frank Rich and Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Correction, Aug. 14, 2008: This article originally misidentified Ann Richards as Ann Richardson. (Return to the corrected sentence.) Return to article The Gerald Ford and Ronald Reagan contest in 1976 was a cliffhanger, but it was decided in Ford's favor on a first ballot. reading list To Your Health The best books, articles, and Web sites about the health care policy debate. By Timothy Noah Saturday, August 9, 2008, at 6:44 AM ET Sometime in the next four years, the health care delivery system 71/140 in the United States is going to change. That's a given because the current patchwork—costly and unreliable private health insurance, overcrowded and underfunded hospital emergency rooms, technophilic and procedure-incentivized physicians—is coming apart at the seams. Whatever solution the 44th president and the 111th Congress enact may or may not prove adequate. But rest assured they'll change something. What that means for you, reader, is you need to set aside a little time between now and Nov. 4 to catch up on the American health care policy debate (assuming you haven't already done so). Your future health may depend on it. The pithiest overview of the problem is an essay that Paul Krugman, the Princeton economist and New York Times columnist, wrote in collaboration with his wife, Robin Wells, for the New York Review of Books in 2006, titled "The Health Care Crisis and What To Do About It." Krugman and Wells write in the spirit of economists seeking the most rational and costeffective solution (as opposed to the most politically salable one). Their conclusion—which I find bulletproof—is that the federal government, which already provides taxpayer-funded health insurance to the elderly, the destitute, and, increasingly, to minors, should extend health-care coverage to everyone. My only complaint about Krugman and Wells is that they give short shrift to the question of cost containment, which will remain a challenge even (perhaps especially) if the government provides health care coverage to all. To fill this gap, read "Options for Slowing the Growth of Health Care Costs," an article by James J. Mongan, Timothy G. Ferris, and Thomas H. Lee, reprinted from the April 3 issue of the New England Journal of Medicine (which does an excellent job covering the health care policy debate). Mongan, Ferris, and Lee evaluate the various cost-savings proposals currently under discussion from the standpoint of inherent practicality and political achievability. Got a little time to surf the Internet? Then check out the Web site for Health Care for America NOW!, a coalition of labor unions and other liberal groups lobbying for universal health care. Of particular interest here is the "insurance nightmares" blog, which links to a recent news story about a Tampa Bay, Fla., teenager whose health insurer refused to pay for … brain surgery. (They finally relented under pressure.) Check out the Web site for the insurer-funded Campaign for an American Solution to learn why brain surgery is actually a foolish indulgence. (OK, it doesn't actually say that.) The health care proposals of Barack Obama and John McCain present the most challenging reading on this list because they're written with politics rather than clarity in mind. To avoid getting conned, I'd advise you to read my "Health Care Primary" analyses (here and here) first. health insurance coverage require (and, for the most part, receive) no exaggeration at all. Supplement your DVD rental with "Health Care for All," a listening tour of other countries' collectivized health care systems from National Public Radio. It's more reliable than Moore's (though similarly favorable). The single best book I've encountered about the centurylong evolution of the American health care crisis is Sick: The Untold Story of America's Health Care Crisis—and the People Who Pay the Price by Jonathan Cohn, a senior editor at the New Republic. A wonkier overview can be found in Healthcare, Guaranteed by Ezekiel Emanuel, a bioethicist at the National Institutes of Health (and brother of Illinois Rep. Rahm Emanuel). I'm not entirely persuaded by Brother Zeke's proposed solution of government-funded private insurance vouchers, but his criticisms of direct government health insurance can't be ignored. Best Care Anywhere: Why VA Health Care Is Better Than Yours, by Phillip Longman, makes the counterintuitive but wholly persuasive case that the Veterans Administration, in spite of its recent difficulties serving Iraq war veterans, provides an extremely successful model for socialized medicine. (Full disclosure: I wrote the introduction.) Overtreated: Why Too Much Medicine Is Making Us Sicker and Poorer, by Shannon Brownlee, explains why those patients who do have access to treatment receive it to excess, to the detriment of their own health. Brownlee and Longman are both fellows at the New America Foundation. A principal reason for overtreatment is that doctors are usually unsalaried professionals who get paid based on the number of procedures they perform and tests they order up. Arnold Relman, a former editor of the New England Journal of Medicine, explores this problem (and more generally how health care has been corrupted by increasing commercialization) in A Second Opinion: Rescuing America's Health Care. In The Cure: How Capitalism Can Save American Health Care, David Gratzer makes the conservative case for a free-market solution to the health care mess. He's lucid—but wrong. The political lessons of Hillary Clinton's failed 1994 health care plan are documented comprehensively in The System: The American Way of Politics at the Breaking Point, a 684-page narrative by the Washington Post's Haynes Johnson and David Broder. Theda Skocpol, a Harvard sociologist, provides a more analytic and svelte (240-page) account in Boomerang: Health Care Reform and the Turn Against Government. In general, though, the demise of Hillarycare has been overstudied in Washington. Both the politics and the problem itself have changed a lot since then. If all this reading gives you a headache, take two aspirin, and I'll call you in the morning. Insurance horror stories abound in Michael Moore's 2007 documentary, Sicko. Moore is sometimes accused of exaggerating for effect, but his gothic tales of patients denied Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC 72/140 shopping Easy on the Eyes Each pair of goggles could score a possible 35 points, with either 5 or 10 points assigned for the following categories: The best—and best-looking—swim goggles. By Juliet Lapidos Tuesday, August 12, 2008, at 6:58 AM ET There's nothing quite like the Olympics to make me feel guilty about my slothful lifestyle. Most weekends I while away the hours on my couch, watching movies, reading magazines, and musing idly about going to the gym. My routine is pretty much the same when the Olympics are on, only it feels more shameful. Everywhere I look, I see pictures of toned athletes straining and sweating, and anytime I turn on the television, there's an inspirational montage telling me that Olympians aren't so different from you and me. They're just more motivated. This year, to cut down on Olympics-induced self-pity, I decided to take up swimming. More precisely, I decided that at some point in the future I would take up swimming. First I'd need a good pair of goggles—the item, I've always thought, that divides the lappers from the splashers (and that would prevent me from using the lame "I'd swim for exercise, if only my darned eyes weren't so sensitive to chlorine" excuse). Not content to settle for any old pair, I pledged to find the best goggles out there. Methodology To get a sense of the marketplace, I started by calling up twotime Olympic gold medalist Lindsay Mintenko, who's now the managing director for the U.S. swim team. I asked her how I should go about testing prospective models and which brand she preferred. She advised that in addition to swimming laps, I should practice diving to make sure the goggles fit snuggly. She also told me she was partial to Swedish goggles: Manufactured by the swim gear and pool equipment company Malmsten, these have no seal of any kind around the eyecups and require assembly, allowing for maximal customization. The Swedes sounded like they had a good product, but I wasn't sure I was ready for an assembly-required model, so I decided to try out several other styles as well. I ordered six pairs, persuaded two friends to join me at a public pool one hot Saturday afternoon, and jotted down our first impressions. That was Stage 1. Stage 2 involved a more rigorous Sunday alone at the same pool, swimming laps, attempting underwater flips, and jumping in and out of the water (more cannonball than dive, but I don't believe this sacrificed the rigor of the fit test). I gave each pair a solid 45 minutes of individual attention. For the third and final stage, I strapped on a different pair of goggles each day after coming home from work. Then I cleaned my room, cooked dinner, or performed some other ordinary task. As my roommate can attest, I looked ridiculous, but this was a quick way to determine if a pair produced the dreaded raccoon-eye effect. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Ease of Use (5 possible points) Manufacturers recommend that swimmers adjust goggles before entering the pool. This should be simple to do. Ideally, you should able to tweak the head strap quickly when you're already in the water as well. Comfort (10 possible points) Is the suction so strong you get a headache? Is the nosepiece so rough you chafe between the eyes? And once you're back on dry land, do you have dramatic, circular marks around your eyes? Visibility (10 possible points) A goggle's telos is to keep water out of your eyes. Any pair that can't do that has no business being strapped to your face. I subtracted major points for leakage and for fog. Aesthetics (5 possible points) Unlike their landlubber cousin, sunglasses, goggles aren't fashion accessories. But if I have to wear them in public, I'd prefer not to encourage mockery. From plastic masks that look more like laboratory safety gear to sleek, strapless goggles that adhere to your eye sockets, the pairs I tried varied in size and attractiveness. I subtracted style points for cheap-looking, flimsy plastic straps, and I added points for flair, like mirrored lenses that keep out sunlight and create an aura of aquatic mystery. Value (5 possible points) If you leave your goggles behind at the pool, you should be able to afford a replacement without having to sell your Dara Torres autograph on eBay. That said, it's worth shelling out a few extra bucks for a really great pair. So I used a pretty standard consumer equation: my personal sense of satisfaction divided by price. The results, listed from kiddie pool to Olympic class: Barracuda Standard Goggle, $29.95 Barracuda frames are designed to match the contours of your eye sockets so that suction isn't necessary. This was the most comfortable pair I tried—no headaches from excess suction, no chafing from hard plastic (Barracudas have spongy foam pads around the eyepieces), and no raccoon eyes after my dry-land test. They're also rather classy—their circular rather than slanted lenses give them a Yellow Submarine-era John Lennon vibe. Alas, they fell short in every other category. Adjusting the head strap is easy enough—just pull a rubber cord through plastic clips—but the nose bridge was a nightmare. If there's a gap between the foam cups and your nose, you need to remove the bridge with a tiny hex key (which comes with the goggles) and 73/140 then trim it with a scissor. At first I didn't realize there was a gap, so I jumped into the pool and immediately suffered leakage. Seeing as I regularly misplace far more vital objects, like my wallet, I wasn't surprised to find that I'd left the hex key on my desk. So I had to postpone my tests. I returned the next morning having trimmed the bridge, but by the end of my 45-minute trial, I noticed leakage yet again. It's possible I needed to trim the nosepiece even more, but I suspect that water was seeping in between the eyecups and the foam (they're held together with glue). Either way, 30 bucks is way too steep given the labor required to make these goggles work. Ease of Use: 1 Comfort: 10 Visibility: 1 Aesthetics: 4 Value: 1 Total: 17 Finis Jet Stream Goggle, $24.99 These mask-style goggles, which hug your cheekbones on the bottom and fit over your eyebrows, are intended for recreational swimmers, since their large size causes drag. I wasn't out to break any world records, so this prospect didn't bother me. I was bothered, however, by the fact that my two friends thought I looked like I was getting ready to titrate some HCl instead of jump in the pool. These are some very goofy-looking goggles. I also developed a headache within the first 10 minutes. The Finis Jet Streams rely on suction so strong I felt like my eyes were popping out. Another problem: During my Saturday quick trial, I didn't detect any visibility problems, but on Sunday after some underwater flips, the goggles fogged up a tad. The only real point in favor of the Jet Streams is that they're extremely easy to adjust. No screws or scissors here, no nosepiece in need of trimming—just a head strap with a simple clasp that you can tighten or loosen with one hand. Ease of Use: 5 Comfort: 2 Visibility: 7 Aesthetics: 1 Value: 2 Total: 17 Nike Swift Strapless Goggle, $25 (plus additional adhesive pads) If you're after a futuristic "I'm not from around here" look, you might like these goggles, which have no head strap or nose bridge. Then how do they stay on, you ask? Why, they stick to your eye sockets with double-sided medical adhesive, of course! The Nikes get points for aesthetics—and for visibility: I Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC experienced no leakage or fog. While I was in the pool, they were pretty cozy, and I liked the fact that I could wear them without a swim cap, since there's no strap to get knotted in my hair. The problem with these goggles is that they're a little frightening to take off. When I ordered my pair from Swim-Shop.com, I got a rather foreboding e-mail: "None of us here have ever used them, so we are not able to tell you personally whether or not they hurt to remove." As it turned out, the removal process didn't hurt much. And it's no big deal that I lost a couple of eyebrow hairs—I suppose I saved myself a trip to the esthetician. Afterward, however, I had a pretty dramatic red rim around my eyes, and my skin became a little irritated. And while $25 isn't all that much for a pair of goggles, they come with only 20 single-use adhesive pads. After that, you have to start ordering packs of 25, which, at $20 a pop, really adds up. Ease of Use: 4 Comfort: 4 Visibility: 10 Aesthetics: 5 Value: 2 Total: 25 Swedish Goggles, $5.00 When these goggles, which came so highly recommended by Lindsay Mintenko, arrived in the mail, I felt daunted. I received a little plastic bag with two hard-plastic eyecups, a latex cord, a small plastic tube, a bit of string, and no instructions. Confused, I looked online for guidance and happened upon a wikiHow page outlining a five-step assembly process. The existence of this page speaks to the fact that Swedish goggles aren't especially user-friendly. After about 10 minutes of wiki-assisted fiddling, I had the goggles in one piece and strapped them on. I was worried that I'd have the Barracuda experience all over again, since the Swedish goggles employ no suction of any kind (or foam, for that matter). But I was pleasantly surprised to find that these goggles worked as advertised. The little plastic cups were so perfectly fitted to the contours of my face that I experienced no leakage or fogging. After a while, though, the hard plastic felt rough against the corners of my eyes. Also, aestheticswise, this pair is tough to put a number on—some people may like their extreme simplicity; others may think they look as cheap as they are. Ease of Use: 2 Comfort: 7 Visibility: 10 Aesthetics: 3 Value: 5 Total: 27 74/140 slate v Tyr Nest Pro Goggle, $20.00 Designed specifically for the 2008 Olympics, these goggles have a gridlike pattern around the eyepieces meant to evoke the bird'snest architectural design of the main Beijing stadium. This detail makes for a great conversation piece and deserves a few aesthetic points, although the material looks and feels cheap. These were the most "yeah, but …" pair I tried. Yeah, they keep out water and fog, but the suction is a little strong, causing mild discomfort. There's no assembly required, but once in the pool the strap has a tendency to get stuck in the clip, making on-head adjustment a bit tough. They're not expensive, like the Nike Strapless goggles, but they're hardly a steal. All in all, a good basic pair that should do the trick for recreational swimmers. Ease of Use: 4 Comfort: 7 Visibility: 10 Aesthetics: 3 Value: 3 Total: 27 Poor Kobe's Olympic Dream A daily video from Slate V. Thursday, August 14, 2008, at 10:25 AM ET slate v Damned Spot: Obama Is Rubber, McCain Is Glue A daily video from Slate V. Wednesday, August 13, 2008, at 11:44 AM ET slate v Why Blackface? A daily video from Slate V. Tuesday, August 12, 2008, at 10:40 AM ET slate v Speedo Speed Socket, $24.99 This pair is roughly like the Swedish goggles in that the eyecups are exceptionally well-designed to match the bone structure of the socket and it's possible to custom-fit the nosepiece. But they're better for nonprofessional swimmers, because the soft eyepieces rest more comfortably against the skin than the hardplastic Swedes, and because they're much easier to customize. Speedo sends along three ready-made nosepieces, each slightly different in size, and it couldn't be easier to clip them on and off. Dear Prudence: My BFF Won't Let Me Date! A daily video from Slate V. Monday, August 11, 2008, at 12:57 PM ET technology An Army of Ones and Zeroes My friends and I agreed that the Speed Sockets look sleek and professional. And for just $5 more you can get a pair with mirrored lenses, which keep out sunlight and give your face a certain T-1000, liquid metal je ne sais quoi. Because the suction isn't too aggressive, I didn't experience any pain, and the raccoon effect was minimal. These goggles deserve high marks in every category. In fact, I liked them so much that maybe—maybe—I'll dispense with televised sports this August and hit the pool for some laps. Ease of Use: 5 Comfort: 9 Visibility: 10 Aesthetics: 5 Value: 5 Total: 34 Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC How I became a soldier in the Georgia-Russia cyberwar. By Evgeny Morozov Thursday, August 14, 2008, at 5:31 PM ET As Russian and Georgian troops fight on the ground, there's a parallel war happening in cyberspace. In recent weeks, Georgia's government Web sites have been besieged by denial-of-service attacks and acts of vandalism. Just like in traditional warfare, there's a lot of confusion about what's going on in this technological battle—nobody seems to know whether this is a centralized Russian attack, the work of a loose band of hackers, or something else. Having read so many contradicting accounts, I knew that the only reliable way to find out what was really happening was to enlist in the Russian digital army myself. Don't get me wrong: My geopolitical sympathies, if anything, lie with Moscow's counterparts. Nor do I see myself as an Internetsavvy Rambo character. I had a much simpler research objective: to test how much damage someone like me, who is quite aloof from the Kremlin physically and politically, could 75/140 inflict upon Georgia's Web infrastructure, acting entirely on my own and using only a laptop and an Internet connection. If I succeeded, that would somewhat contradict the widely shared assumption—at least in most of the Western media—that the Kremlin is managing this cyberwarfare in a centralized fashion. My mission, if successful, would show that the field is open to anyone with a grudge against Georgia, regardless of their exact relationship with state authorities. Not knowing exactly how to sign up for a cyberwar, I started with an extensive survey of the Russian blogosphere. My first anonymous mentor, as I learned from this blog post, became frustrated with the complexity of other cyberwarfare techniques used in this campaign and developed a simpler and lighter "for dummies" alternative. All I needed to do was to save a copy of a certain Web page to my hard drive and then open it in my browser. I was warned that the page wouldn't work with Internet Explorer but did well with Firefox and Opera. (Get with the program, Microsoft!) Once accessed, the page would load thumbnailed versions of a dozen key Georgian Web sites in a single window. All I had to do was set the page to automatically update every three to five seconds. Voilà: My browser was now sending thousands of queries to the most important Georgian sites, helping to overload them, and it had taken me only two to three minutes to set up. But now I knew that there must be other more sophisticated options out there. After some more investigation, I unearthed two alternatives, one creative and one emotional. The creative option was to write my own simple program. Although my experience with software development is nonexistent, the instructions looked manageable. All I had to do was create a blank text file, copy and paste the URLs of any Web sites that I wanted to attack, specify how many times these sites should be pinged, and copy and paste a few lines of code from the original instructions. The last bit was to rename it with a .BAT extension, instantly converting it into a file that Windows recognizes as an executable program. My e-Molotov cocktail was ready to go. I just had to doubleclick the file, and all those sites that I listed would be inundated with requests. The original blog post also encouraged me to run my program at certain times of the day to coincide with attacks launched by others, thus multiplying their effectiveness. So far, it looked as if my experiment was succeeding. In less than half an hour, I already had two options that could potentially cause some damage, if I hadn't stopped after the first few seconds of testing. What I found missing in my first two trials, though, was a sense of priorities. If I were truly interested in destabilizing the Georgian sites, how would I know whether to focus on the Ministry of Transportation or the Supreme Court? What if other volunteers like me were attacking one but not the other? Were my resources more vital on other e-fronts? Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Faced with these dilemmas, I turned to the site StopGeorgia for help. This was the emotional option. Branding itself as a site by and for the "Russian hack underground," StopGeorgia declared that it wouldn't tolerate "aggression against Russia in cyberspace." In addition to this militaristic rhetoric, the site offered a very convenient list of targets—Web sites that either belonged to Georgian government agencies or to potential friends of the country (including those of the U.K. and U.S. embassies in Tbilisi). This list included plus and minus signs to indicate whether the sites were still accessible from Russia and, for some reason, Lithuania. The sites with the plus signs were, logically, the primary target; there was no point in attacking the sites that were already down. The administrators of StopGeorgia did not stop there; they also offered visitors a virtual present. The treat was a software utility called DoSHTTP, which the site encouraged all readers to download. DoSHTTP's creators bill it as a program to "test" the so-called "denial-of-service attacks" that have become synonymous with modern cyberwarfare. But if you believe the rhetoric on StopGeorgia, its capabilities extend far beyond mere testing—the site encouraged all visitors to use the program to launch attacks, not test them. After making sure that I wasn't downloading a virus, I installed DoSHTTP and started playing around with it. Along with offering customizable options to advanced users, there was also a nice option for beginners like me. After entering a URL, I could initiate an attack by clicking something that said "Start Flood." A flood did follow—war at the touch of a button. In less than an hour, I had become an Internet soldier. I didn't receive any calls from Kremlin operatives; nor did I have to buy a Web server or modify my computer in any significant way. If what I was doing was cyberwarfare, I have some concerns about the number of child soldiers who may just find it too fun and accessible to resist. My experiment also might shed some light on why the recent cyberwar has been so hard to pin down and why no group in particular has claimed responsibility. Paranoid that the Kremlin's hand is everywhere, we risk underestimating the great patriotic rage of many ordinary Russians, who, having been fed too much government propaganda in the last few days, are convinced that they need to crash Georgian Web sites. Many Russians undoubtedly went online to learn how to make mischief, as I did. Within an hour, they, too, could become cyberwarriors. technology The Google Black Hole Sergey and Larry just bought my company. Uh oh. 76/140 By Farhad Manjoo Wednesday, August 13, 2008, at 5:12 PM ET Late last month, Michael Arrington of TechCrunch reported that Google was in the final stages of negotiations to purchase Digg, the popular user-vote-counting news site. A few days later, Arrington, citing unnamed sources, posted an update: For unknown reasons, Google had walked away from the deal. Digg's dalliance with Google wasn't much of a surprise—just about every major tech company has flirted with buying Digg in the last few years—but to some of the company's fans, the deal's breakdown represented a real blow. "Google is really the only company I can think of that could actually improve Digg," went one much-dugg comment. The comment is revealing—among techies, selling to Google has never been considered selling out. In Silicon Valley, Google is seen as an entrepreneurs' paradise, and not just because of the free food and fancy toilets. With its flat organization chart and the freedom employees get to work on creative side projects, Google is said to run much like a start-up: a company that heaps money and engineering resources on restless innovators who want to create the next big thing. On the other hand, may I present Jaiku. Google purchased the "micro-blogging" company last year—think of it as a rival to Twitter—and then promptly closed it down to new users. Or look at JotSpot, a start-up that built a wiki collaboration tool for office workers. Google bought it in October 2006. Sixteen months later, it relaunched a radically different version of the service, Google Sites, to much criticism from longtime JotSpot users, who felt abandoned and betrayed. Jaiku and JotSpot are examples of a phenomenon I call the Google black hole. Despite Google's reputation for fostering new companies, many services that nestle into Mountain View's welcoming bosom are never heard from again. The pattern: Company gets bought out. Users rejoice. Company lies fallow for months. Users grow impatient. Company's employees get farmed out to other Google projects. Company lies fallow for more months. Users get even more impatient ... Consider the fate of Dodgeball, an innovative mobile service that was a predecessor to Twitter, Jaiku, and the many "locationaware" apps that now clog up the iPhone. The company, which launched in 2003, enabled people to send texts indicating where they were hanging out. In response, you'd get texts telling you which of your friends (or friends of friends) were nearby. In 2005, Dodgeball's creators, Dennis Crowley and Alex Rainert, had just finished up grad school at NYU and were looking for investors in their service, which had become popular among techies in Manhattan. Of all the prospective offers they heard, Google's seemed to come with the fewest strings. Google paid Dodgeball a small outlay of cash and stock—the exact terms Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC weren't disclosed—and Crowley and Rainert moved into Google's New York office. Immediately, Dodgeball's founders saw that their corporate overlords didn't want much to do with the acquisition. It took six months for Google to assign a single software engineer to Dodgeball. After a while, execs began pushing Crowley and Rainert to work on other things. The founders started to believe that Google had bought Dodgeball simply to acquire their savvy in the mobile social-networking business, not for the service they'd built. The pair quit Google in April 2007. The Dodgeball site is still alive, but no one runs it. In many ways, Google's Dodgeball acquisition was atypical. It was among the first after Google went public, and Crowley stressed to me that the amount of money that changed hands was very, very small. (Google declined to comment on Dodgeball.) But some aspects of the story seem applicable to other Google purchases. One difficulty Dodgeball faced was technical: It took time to move Dodgeball's relatively simple codebase onto Google's complex internal infrastructure—and after the transition, much of the system's code became too complicated for Dodgeball's founders to understand. Moreover, there were bureaucratic hurdles. As a start-up, Dodgeball had grown used to adding new features every week; under Google, the founders were told to get approval from layers of managers (though the Dodgeball crew began sneaking in small feature changes without alerting higher-ups). Technical problems appear to be hampering other recent acquisitions. Last October, when Jaiku announced that it had been purchased by Google, the company's founders said that they would close the site to new users "for the time being" in order to work with Google's engineers. Three months later, new sign-ups were still down, and Jaiku offered another update on its blog: "To be honest, a lot of our time in the early going was spent on getting to know Google," wrote co-founder Jyri Engeström. In April, Jaiku said again that its troubles were almost over. And then in May, after users complained that Jaiku was slow, Engeström promised, once more, that the service would ride high. "We feel the short term pain, too," he wrote. "Thanks for sticking with us!" Now, 10 months after the acquisition, Jaiku still remains closed to new users. In that time, both Twitter (which is hampered by its own legendary tech problems) and FriendFeed, another here's-what-I'm-doing startup, have been signing up new people. Both, incidentally, were founded by former Googlers. A Google spokesman assured me that Jaiku's delays had nothing to do with the merger; he suggested that they were the normal troubles faced by any company trying to build a popular service. In an interview, David Lawee, the Google vice president in charge of acquisitions, outlined the rigorous steps Google takes after it buys companies. All prospective deals are approved by Google's executive management team, and every merger is 77/140 assigned an executive "sponsor" who marshals the resources— engineering, PR, sales, etc.—necessary to get the new company running within the Google infrastructure. technology The Death of Planned Obsolescence Why today's gadgets keep getting better. (At least until the battery dies.) While Lawee acknowledged that it takes work to move a new company onto Google's systems, he said that Google is "pretty accurate" at predicting how difficult that technical transition will be. Usually, Lawee said, the move takes three to six months, and its benefits are significant: YouTube, one of Google's largest acquisitions, now slurps up 13 hours of video every minute, a scale that it would have had a tough time achieving on its own. Lawee also pushed back against the idea of a Google black hole—even if the public doesn't immediately see the results, the companies that Google acquires change the firm in big ways, he argued. Early in 2006, Google bought Measure Map, a muchbeloved tool for bloggers to check traffic on their sites; the service has been closed to new users ever since. But Google didn't buy Measure Map for Measure Map, Lawee said. It bought the company so it could add its features to another Google traffic program, Google Analytics—"and we did that." Google had similar shape-shifting intentions for JotSpot, a company Lawee characterized as being "midway through a pretty exciting development plan." JotSpot's users might not like changes to the service, he said, but behind the scenes, JotSpot's employees are hard at work throughout Google. Considering Google's history, Digg fans should probably be celebrating rather than lamenting the company's nonacquisition. Diggers who were excited about a potential Diggoogle argued that such an arrangement would be preferable to Digg under Microsoft or another tech giant. But there's little reason to believe that would be the case. TechCrunch's Arrington reported that Google wanted to integrate Digg into Google News—not an indication that the Big G would have let Digg be Digg. It's important to note that acquisition hiccups aren't unique to Google: In general, merging a start-up with a big company creates more problems than it solves. I called up Jason Fried, the head of 37 Signals, a successful Web company that makes software for small businesses and that has been adamant about staying independent. "You take great talents and you put them in this big company and they get drowned out by all this policy stuff," Fried argues. "Putting a small company in a big company kills what was good about the small company." Is that what's happening to Jaiku? Is it working on a supersecret social site that'll blow away its competitors—or has it been left to wither? And what about GrandCentral, that great telephone company start-up Google bought a year ago—why is it still closed to new users? Nobody really knows. For now, all of those details are stuck inside the black hole. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC By Farhad Manjoo Monday, August 11, 2008, at 3:28 PM ET In 2005, a Southern California start-up named Sonos put out a multiroom digital music system, a gadget that sounds straightforward but was actually ahead of its time. Back then, music had already gone digital, but most digital players were meant to be used on the go, not at home. If the iPod is the modern version of the Walkman, Sonos is the reincarnation of the home stereo. It uses wireless networks to string together small "ZonePlayers," stand-alone devices that pipe stereo-quality sound to different rooms in your house. You control the Sonos through a Wi-Fi remote that sports a big LCD screen and an iPod-like scroll wheel. Together, the system's components add up to something transformative: Sonos frees your songs from tinny computer speakers, bringing music to far-flung corners of your McMansion. But that was three years ago—an eternity in the gadget world. Last week, Sonos offered its first major hardware overhaul since the product's debut (the company decreased the size and increased the networking capabilities of its ZonePlayers). What's remarkable, though, is that while its hardware has barely changed in three years, the Sonos system has improved tremendously since it went on sale. In 2006, the company issued a software update to every Sonos sold—suddenly, the system could play audiobooks. A few months after that, another update allowed Sonos players to hook into the Rhapsody online music service, which meant that for $13 a month, people could now listen to millions of tracks that they didn't own. Later, Sonos added Napster, Pandora, and Sirius, plus a slew of free Internet radio stations. Last year, the company improved its controller's user interface, adding a function that lets you search your tunes from the device—another feature that every Sonos owner got through a software update. The Sonos isn't cheap—you'll pay $999 for a basic two-room plan, and each additional room will set you back $350 to $500, depending on your hardware needs (the company describes its customer base as "affluent"). But its high price is tempered by a feature that, until recently, was unheard-of in the consumer electronics market: A Sonos you buy today will get better as it ages. Through software updates, people who bought the very first Sonos system enjoy pretty much the same functionality that they'd find on a Sonos made two months ago. The company even extends its special offers to its existing customers—last week, both new and current users got a $200 coupon to purchase music from various online services. 78/140 Sonos' approach signals a larger shift in the gadget industry, a business that has long titillated its customers with short-lived thrills—what gadget-lovers derisively call "planned obsolescence." It used to be that a gadget worked the best on the day you bought it; every day afterward, it would fall deeper under the shadow of something newer and more fantastic. But because music players, cell phones, cameras, GPS navigators, video game consoles, and nearly everything else now runs on Internet-updatable software, our gadgets' functions are no longer static. It's still true that a gizmo you buy today will eventually be superseded by something that comes along later. But just like Meryl Streep, your devices will now dazzle you as they age. They'll gain new functions and become easier to use, giving you fewer reasons to jump to whatever hot new thing is just hitting the market. To appreciate how amazing this is, imagine if the same rules held sway in the car industry. Five years after you bought it, you could take your beater to the shop, and after a quick patch it'd be blessed with electronic stability control, a more fuel-efficient engine, and a radio that received satellite broadcasts. That sort of metamorphosis is now routine in the consumer electronics business. When Microsoft released the Zune music player late in 2006, critics panned its poor song-beaming feature—you could send tracks to other Zunes, but the music would self-destruct after three days. A year later, Microsoft released a slate of new Zunes. The players featured a more intuitive user interface, and Microsoft dropped the time limit on beamed songs. But here's the kicker: People who'd bought the original Zune also got the new features. A similar thing happened when Apple revamped its original, lame Apple TV set-top box with a less-lame version a few months later. Overnight, a software update gave old Apple TVs the power to buy movies directly from the couch, a feature that had been left out of the first version. The decline of planned obsolescence is a special boon for startup companies that aim to break into the market with an entirely new kind of product. A couple of weeks ago, I raved about the Dash GPS navigator, which uses an Internet connection to produce "crowd-sourced" traffic forecasts along your drive. According to the forums on the company's site, there's a lot about the Dash device that people don't like, in particular that its interface is a bit homely, and its traffic detection fails on some roads. But Dash has made its flexibility a key part of its sales pitch: If you're on the fence about the device—if it lacks certain capabilities that you wish it had—the company points out that you won't miss anything by buying now. Your device will eventually get any new functions that are rolled out in new versions. Of course, there are some features that you can't get through software updates. Because our gadgets are now much like computers, the specs that matter are the same ones we pay Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC attention to when buying PCs—disk space, processor speed, and networking capabilities. For instance, you can expect all future iPods to carry more disk capacity than the one you own today. In the same way, next-generation video game systems will run on much faster processors than are found in today's consoles, and the cell phones of tomorrow will surely include faster wireless Internet speeds than cell phones of today. And one more thing: Eventually the battery in your current phone or PDA or music player will die, and if your device is made by Apple, replacing the battery will be enough of a pain to prompt you to buy something new. Still, it's surprising how many features can be added to a device without upgrading its hardware. Last month, Apple released the 3G iPhone, which includes faster Internet access than its predecessor, plus GPS access. People who bought the first iPhone can't get those benefits, but they did get what's arguably the best thing in the new iPhone—a software update that allows the device to run third-party applications. One of these apps magically turns your iPhone into a remote control for iTunes on your computer. I couldn't help thinking of that app as I played around with the fantastic Sonos unit that the company sent me two weeks ago. I fell for the Sonos instantly— the ability to call up any song in any room of your house is hard not to love. But as I played around with the device, I kept thinking of new features I'd like. I want the Sonos to be able to play NPR's Web streams (which can be paused, unlike the Sonos' Internet radio version of NPR). I'd like the Sonos to act like a DVR, recording certain radio stations at certain times. Mainly, though, I want to be able to control the Sonos through my iPhone, which is much smaller and lighter than the device's own remote. In an interview, Phil Abram, the company's COO, wouldn't tell me the specific features the Sonos plans to add to its units. But lots of people are asking for an iPhone interface. If the company wants to make its customers happy, it will build one soon—and when that does happen, people who own today's model won't be left out in the cold. the browser Going Dark Spying on other people's computers. By Michael Agger Tuesday, August 12, 2008, at 12:21 PM ET The good ol' Internet: always coming up with new solutions to old problems. Modern man suspects wife is up to something. Modern man installs PC Pandora, a spyware application that 79/140 records keystrokes, takes surreptitious screen shots, and monitors chat sessions—all for the low, low price of $49.95. Success! Modern man writes a congratulatory note to the company, which it posts on its "testimonials" page: My wife of 25 years came out of the blue after Christmas this past year and requested a divorce without much explanation. I was devastated, so I purchased your product. It only took two days to find out she has been living a dark secret life for several years as a submissive love slave to a dominant male partner in the BDSM world meeting him at least once a month. She was blown out of the water when I told her everything I knew about her lifestyle even down to the name and email address of the person she is involved with. Answered all my questions. She has no clue and thinks I spent $$$$$$ on a private investigator. Despite modern man's feelings of triumph, it's hard to see any winners there. It's easier than ever to spy on our spouses, coworkers, boyfriends, and roommates. But does this make us happier and wiser or just more neurotic and creepy? The lesson of every surveillance movie, from The Conversation to The Lives of Others, is that listening in corrupts your peace of mind and destroys your emotional intuition. Explore the world of commercial "spy" software and you quickly discover three main battlegrounds: girlfriends/wives vs. boyfriends/husbands, employers vs. employees, and parents vs. teenagers. You also read some of the most twisted moral logic ever committed to screen. When the PC Pandora site opens, for example, a trim lady in a pink shirt pops up and cheerfully declares: "At this very moment, there are over 50,000 pedophiles on the Internet trying to take advantage of our children." Well then, I better install a program that records everything my kids do online and then spend my afternoons scanning the logs! In the eyes of these monitoring-software companies, MySpace is the devil's playground. The promotional copy often gives the impression that setting up a page on MySpace is but the merest pretext to an after-school Roman orgy. The message: If you don't know what "LMIRL" or "NIFOC" or "POS" means, you might as well drop your daughter off at a truck stop right now. (That's "let's meet in real life," "naked in front of the computer," and "parent over shoulder.") It's also worth noting how these sites stress their excellent phone support—the software packages are being pitched predominately to the technically clueless. If Mom and Dad did know how to use a computer, they could easily find a recent study by the University of New Hampshire's Crimes Against Children Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Research Center, "Online 'Predators' and Their Victims: Myths, Realities and Implications for Prevention." Or, quicker yet, they could read an excellent summary of the study by Benjamin Radford at LiveScience. As he explains, the biggest threat to kids is still their parents, the Internet has not increased the amount of sexual abuse of children, and most Web predators rarely use deception as "most victims are well aware that the person they are communicating with online is an adult interested in sex." Monitor your kids if you want, but recognize that you are spying on them, not protecting them from a new strain of evildoers. The Pandora software is aptly named. It evokes both the dubious idea that the computer is a Pandora's box which holds all of our secrets, and the obvious end result of any snooping: Once this stuff gets out, you wish it could be put back in. The snooper also faces the unavoidable dilemma that any information that he or she finds out almost certainly won't be worse than the breach of trust of installing monitoring software. That's why these applications sell themselves under the guise of "protecting your family" rather than "seeing what YouTube videos your husband watches." We all deserve to have a public self and a backstage self, even if that backstage self has a plushie fetish. The office landscape is more clear-cut: Bosses want employees to "be productive"; employees want to look at ESPN.com on occasion. Or, perhaps, pornography. It's not so much that everyone is looking at porn. It's that the people who look at porn tend to look at a lot of it. A commenter on Slashdot proposes a vivid solution for his own workplace: I stopped "special" surfing at the office when I put a linux box on a hub between the network internet router and the switches. I simply sniffed all traffic for image files and displayed it on a 42" LCD out in the sales area. Images were displayed of what people were surfing. I also attached the ip address of the user to the image. It stopped inappropriate internet surfing in that office in 3 days. When everyone can see what you are doing, you get back to real work. Good point, but it gets tricky when you try to decide what constitutes "getting back to real work." Some argue that a little personal surfing at work actually makes employees more productive. Software "solutions" like BeAware (Corporate Edition) and the creepy Spector360 ("Who is arriving to work late and leaving early? Who takes long lunch breaks?") seem pitched to the David Brents of the world. The makers of the Spector360 will tell you that their product will "significantly reduce the amount of goofing off that has grown common in most workplaces (one hour per day per employee, on average)." What they won't tell you is that you're a jerk. If your employees are watching "Funny Cats 3" all day long, the problem isn't 80/140 unfiltered access to the Internet. The problem is that your workplace is boring, and probably very sad. Which brings us to boyfriends, girlfriends, significant others, etc. The monitoring-software sites know that a jealous lover is a moth to their flame. They try to give your motive a scientific, fact-finding air, offering such tips as PC Pandora's "29 Signs Your Partner May Be Cheating." (My favorite: "You might find that they are suddenly grooming themselves more diligently.") The testimonials include those who are happy to have found out the truth, like our BDSM friend, and the FAQs float the sketchy idea that even a "hidden secret" can destroy a relationship, so it's better to install the software and get confirmation. Nice try. The spying dynamic on the battlegrounds of love hasn't changed since Shakespeare: so tempting, so ruinous. This fellow, who posted on the Experience Project, speaks for all of his brethren: I have developed an extremely unhealthy habit in my relationship with my fiance[e]. Unbeknownst to her, I have installed onto our computer a key logging spy software which let me see all her activities and passwords. Since then, I have read all of her accounts: my space, face book, gmail, everything. ... I hate myself because I have read very candid and personal letters and correspondence between her and her ex lovers. Logically, I know that they have nothing to do with me b/c she didn't even know me then, but I still find myself incredibly jealous. I hate myself for lying to her like this. I have even found nude photos of her that she sent to her ex. ... I didn't lie to her in the beginning of our relationship, but now I feel more and more obsessed and it's awful! One way out might be to confess and turn this all into a screenplay, but that's been done before. In the end, the safest and best sort of spying seems to be of the Socratic variety: Know thyself. I've let Last.fm monitor my music-listening habits, and now it gives eerily good recommendations. Google eavesdrops on my computer so that it can personalize my search results, track my Web history, and rearrange my furniture sometimes. I've also fired up the Firefox extension MeeTimer, which records the amount of time I spend procrastinating on particular sites. (Damn you, Desktop Tower Defense!) The results of my personal espionage? Probably the same as yours: No man is a hero to his valet, or to his computer. the chat room After the Affair Melinda Henneberger takes readers' questions about the John Edwards sex scandal. Monday, August 11, 2008, at 4:49 PM ET Slate "XX Factor" blogger Melinda Henneberger was online on Washingtonpost.com to chat with readers about the John Edwards sex scandal. An unedited transcript of the chat follows. Time and Resources: I somewhat understand the angst about news channels/papers not reporting the Edwards story, but it is mitigated by two things. Firstly, he isn't that important. Yeah, he might have been on the cabinet, but even without the reporting that seemed less likely, so if he is just some random politician without an office, why should the public care? Secondly, it was an affair. He didn't embezzle; he didn't take money from corporations to vote a certain way; he isn't working with Putin to overthrow some former Soviet republic. Yes, he lied—multiple times—but as I am not voting for him for anything, it isn't all that important. More reporting should be done on Sen. Stevens, not on John Edwards. Melinda Henneberger: I think that's how a lot of us felt, too, that particularly at a time when resources across the industry are being slashed to the bone, this didn't seem like a high priority. I still think that's true—but I also think John Edwards should have known the story would come out and spared his family and his party the embarrassment—and potentially, the loss of the White House. _______________________ Brooklyn, N.Y.: How do you think this—as well as other infidelities committed by politicians—influences the role of political spouse? Despite repeated sexual scandals by politicians, why do you think the image of a supportive political spouse, such as a traditional first lady, continues to be viewed as necessary? Melinda Henneberger: We in the public really seem to require that tableau that includes a demure wife in chunky pearls, who loves those jokes no matter how many times she's heard them. In fact, we go crazy when a political spouse strays at all from the script—as for instance when Teresa Heinz Kerry dared to mention her first husband, or when Michelle Obama committed the sin of joking about even something as trivial as her husband's failure to put the butter up after breakfast. We made such a fuss in both of those cases that the obvious message to spouses was: For heaven's sake, lie to us! _______________________ Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC 81/140 Washington: What part of this story is the worst? Cheating on your dying wife, while making your marriage to said dying wife a talking point? Betraying the trust on anyone who donated to or volunteered for your campaign? Denying your children any semblance of a normal family life for the remaining months of their mom's life for a goal you had to know you would get blown away from? Ugh. Melinda Henneberger: Yes, ugh. But since there's nothing I can do about his decisions, what I'm thinking about are my own choices: When I sat down with Elizabeth and talked to John on the phone for the piece I wrote about them as a couple, should I have asked about the rumors? Was I wrong not to? I drove down to their home in North Carolina, and thought about it and argued with myself all the way there, but kept coming back to: For what? So I can torment a woman with cancer? And, if I had it to do over, I still wouldn't. _______________________ Portland, Ore.: Okay, I don't believe Edwards is telling the truth about when he says told Elizabeth. I think he was caught in and around April 2007, based on information from articles online. That was during the election. Do you believe Elizabeth Edwards fell on her sword and lied about the timeframe when she found out? Looking at her videos when they announced, I just can't believe she knew before then. Are you planning to investigate his truthfulness at all? Melinda Henneberger: To me, watching him on Nightline, he looked like a guy who knew the other shoe was gonna hit him on the noggin' any minute. His credibility is shot, and hers too, and that's unbelievably sad. _______________________ Silver Spring, Md.: I strongly resent the idea that "everyone" knew about this affair but nobody reported on it or even bothered to investigate it. Too much work, I guess. Is the newsroom more pleased that this unsavory story was broken by the Enquirer, or that Edwards's campaign faded, so that there was no pressure to break the story? Also, was the fact that this story was lurking have anything to do with the underperformance of the Edwards campaign? Melinda Henneberger: It's not that simple; the only way these stories ever come out is that either the ex-lover steps to the mic, or tabloids spend months and a lot of money following people, paying for info, bribing hotel employees, etc. At a time when we cannot even act as the watchdogs we are supposed to be because thousands of journalists are losing their jobs as left and right cheer, what I resent is the idea that following John Edwards around should have been Job One; not even close! Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC _______________________ Washington: It seems to me that politicians run on their overall record. I mean really, what does McCain's having been a prisoner of war say about his knowledge and skill as a leader? It's about his personal character. So how does a politician's lying about an affair differ from them lying about their military record? How does Edwards little peccadillo differ from Bush 41's? The press there was that it was only rumor, but then they didn't track it down. Melinda Henneberger: As I've said before, my old theory was that there were fewer Republican sex scandals because they treated their exes better. But if you look back at Washington sex scandals, the only one I can even ever remember anyone in the non-tabloid media breaking was the Gary Hart story, and that only happened because he double-dared reporters to follow him around. Character issues are important, but we act like sexual fidelity is the only character issue that counts. _______________________ El Segundo, Calif.: Edwards ran on honesty and family values. How can the national political media not vet him properly if he's running for president? Seems like he got a free pass to me. How can we take Edwards or the national media seriously again? Melinda Henneberger: Are you suggesting that if we put a 24/7 tail on all candidates, if we paid sources and chased people into hotel bathrooms in the middle of the night, then you would take us more seriously? And look at what happened to the New York Times when they ran a story that touched on rumors about a lobbyist John McCain may have been involved with; they had three of their best reporters on that story for months, and yet their efforts were so widely criticized that it worked to the McCain campaign's advantage. _______________________ Boston: Why would you treat a candidate's wife who has cancer differently than one who doesn't have it? The comment makes it clear the Edwards family received special treatment from the media, which is clearly wrong. That's what bothers me most about this story. I especially am appalled by the New York Times, which ran a front-page story on McCain's alleged affair with a lobbyist that had not one shred of evidence ... and still ignored the Edwards story. To be clear, it's not that I necessarily agree with the media delving into candidates' sex lives, but if you're going to do it to one you have to do it to all ... whether or not their spouse suffers from cancer or another tragedy. Melinda Henneberger: Nope, not true. I talked to Cindy McCain recently and didn't ask her, either—even though, given that it was on the front page of the NYT, I certainly could have. 82/140 And it isn't as though people in public life are going to respond honestly to such a question anyway. Again, these stories are out there because money has changed hands and people were followed for months. If that's your priority, then the National Enquirer is your news outlet. _______________________ _______________________ Melinda Henneberger: Thank you so much! Washington: I say this as an Obama supporter, but why did the New York Times ignore this story while it ran with a fairly sleazy and, presumably, untrue-in-its-innuendo story about John McCain several months ago? I can't understand how they can justify the differences, particularly when this Edwards news was under the radar at approximately the same time they came out with their McCain story. _______________________ Melinda Henneberger: I have no idea what they had, but it didn't seem like the story started as hey, let's run down all the sex rumors. It seemed to have been something they ran across while running down a perfectly legit story about whether McCain, who is running against the influence of lobbyists, is himself linked to lobbyists. I'm sure they would have been a lot more comfortable if they'd found he was good friends with a lobbyist named Victor Iseman instead. Philadelphia: Hello, just wanted to say thanks. I've enjoyed reading your recent posts, and love the XX Factor in general. It's the only blog I read—I wish I could join in! Poughkeepsie, N.Y.: Melinda, you've hit many nails on the head here. Thank you! But wait, don't you think Elizabeth didn't tell him not to run was because she didn't know about Wily Rielle yet? No self-respecting narcissist would spoil his fun if he didn't have to, would he, especially when there was no danger of being found out? It was, after all, before those "miserable tabloids" started writing their "lies".... A serious (well, semi-serious) question, too: What do you think are the implications of Hunter refusing to let the kid be tested? She wants to stay the center of attention, and if it's proven not to be Edwards's then who cares? She and Edwards made a pact that he'd say "sure I'll take it" and she'd say "no way Jose" and therefore no one would ever know? What do you think? (Not that it matters, as you point out, of course.) _______________________ Washington: I vote for no coverage of politicians' sex lives. I don't care who is doing what—if it isn't illegal, don't report it. That's my new standard and I urge the mainstream media to adopt it. Melinda Henneberger: Not only would I second that, but I think most reporters would. We are not trying to out certain people and protect others based on party or personal affinity; on the contrary, unless it becomes impossible to ignore, either through a lawsuit, like the one Paula Jones filed, or a press conference, like the one Gennifer Flowers held, that is pretty much what happens. Melinda Henneberger: I'm not sure we'll ever know what Elizabeth knew and when she knew it, but I have the unhappy feeling she still doesn't know everything. _______________________ Washington: What do you make of Elizabeth's statement that her relapse has made all this easier? I just don't understand that... Melinda Henneberger: Maybe that everything, even this, is less important than the bigger picture; does an affair negate 31 years? No, thankfully. _______________________ _______________________ Washington: In 2007 rumor around DC was that Edwards wasn't so hot on running, and that it was Elizabeth who convinced (pushed?) him to do it. I'm not clear on the timeline, but I do wonder whether on some (hidden) level this could have been an attempt on his part to sabotage a campaign he never really wanted to run. The theory gives Elizabeth more culpability in what happened, and the story becomes a little less one-sided—as these affairs rarely are. What do you think? St. Louis: Seriously, John Edwards is no longer relevant as he is not running for anything. If the media is going to talk about "affairs," shouldn't you discuss John McCain's affair, given that he is the presumptive Republican presidential candidate? Melinda Henneberger: Or, God willing, we could say gosh, this was so much fun, let's never do it again... _______________________ Melinda Henneberger: No, he very much wanted to run, and she very much wanted him to. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Minneapolis: You debated with yourself about whether it was right for you to ask about the rumors when interviewing Mrs. 83/140 Edwards and are glad that you did not. Would it have been better for her if you did? Is the way this has come out been any better? I guess the confusion that some may have in the press's role is that every night on the TV you have pundits arguing minute, piddly details, and yet something this large falls off the screen. I think that is where the disconnect comes from. from war as permanently disabled heroes. At least he didn't divorce her or flaunt his dalliances. His biggest error was to deny the child ahead of a paternity test. Melinda Henneberger: Elizabeth Edwards is a damn smart woman, and I guess part of my calculus was that she was not going to tell me anyway. In Candidate Spousery 101 they teach you this line: We don't talk about that! The American people care about ISSUES! _______________________ Melinda Henneberger: You came to the wrong well with this one; Elizabeth as tyrant I am not buying. Melinda Henneberger: Thanks for joining the conversation. _______________________ Austin, Texas: Before this story broke, I thought it was interesting how many people were arguing that the reason people like Larry Craig deserved outing was because he had somehow worked to make life more difficult for homosexuals, so it was right to highlight his personal life. Setting aside the fact that Edwards tended to put his marriage front and center, as an attorney general or a poverty czar, Edwards almost certainly would have worked to make life more difficult for deadbeat dads. Did people (including journalists) lack the imagination to see that particular kind of hypocrisy? Melinda Henneberger: Honestly, I guess I think we are all hypocrites about this stuff to some degree. We all but make them lie, we demand the mythic storyline, then off with their heads if they don't live up to it. There has got to be a better way! the chat room What's So Funny? Dana Stevens addresses the touchy questions of sensitivity and humor surrounding Tropic Thunder. Thursday, August 14, 2008, at 2:45 PM ET Slate movie critic Dana Stevens was online at Washingtpost.com to take readers' questions and comments about the potentially offensive elements of Tropic Thunder, such as blackface and "retard" jokes. An unedited transcript of the chat follows. Dana Stevens: Hi, this is Dana Stevens, Slate's movie critic, logging on to discuss Ben Stiller's Tropic Thunder and topics related thereto. Anybody out there? _______________________ _______________________ West Virginia: The overwhelming emotion I have about this story is sadness. He's not a candidate anymore, so I hate to see his family dragged into this. I even feel sad for John, who probably doesn't deserve it. He's probably had lots of women throwing themselves at him, and he's only human. Even good marriages have their stresses, and who's to judge ... but that's the world we live in today. And for people to judge Elizabeth too ... only they know what goes on in their marriage, and we have to respect it. I understand why the media had to report this story, I just wish they didn't feel they had to. Melinda Henneberger: Me, too, West Virginia! _______________________ Washington: His wife is dying of a illness that he did not cause or desire. Do dying people have greater rights than others? Is the tyranny of the terminally ill a form of power abuse that we tolerate? If her cancer makes his wife exceptionally miserable to be around, then why must Edwards be held to some standard of sainthood? Women traditionally have divorced men who return Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC St. Mary's City, Md.: While I haven't seen Tropic Thunder, I know that Ben Stiller tends to push satire to absurdist extremes. When I first heard about the controversy, I suspected right away that the real target of Stiller's "retard" language was, in Ann Hornaday's words, "overweening, ambitious actors who take roles as physically and mentally challenged characters because they're proven Oscar-bait." So do the protesters not understand that they are not Stiller's target? Do they understand the satire, but worry that moviegoers will not? If it's the latter, they may have a point, given that Archie Bunker became a hero to reactionaries who didn't understand that their attitudes were being condemned. Or are the protesters simply reacting emotionally to the words used regardless of the context? Perhaps instead of condemning Stiller, the protesters should instead condemn the moviemakers who exploit disabilities for sentimentality while pretending to promote awareness about them. Dana Stevens: There are a couple of points I want to address in your question. The first is that, like many of the groups protesting against it, you haven't yet seen the movie—perfectly understandable as it only opened yesterday. You hold the view 84/140 that the movie's use of what advocacy groups are calling "the Rword" isn't targeting people with disabilities; they hold the view that it is. But if the discussion is to go forward, shouldn't everyone at least be willing to see the movie with an open mind toward the other side? You also say, rightly I think, that words, even potentially explosive words, can't be understood out of the context in which they occur. Satire is a notoriously difficult thing to police. _______________________ Kansas City, Mo.: Do you find that there is any kind of a generational divide in the use of "retard" as an insult? I have noticed that kids/teens/twentysomethings seem to use it less than older people, although younger people use "gay" in its place— "that's so gay" instead of "that's retarded." Dana Stevens: I don't know how they're being used by kids now, but unfortunately both these insults sound pretty timeless to me. I remember both of them being tossed around in my 1970s-era schoolyard. And both terms—which function by implying that the object of your scorn is as lowly as someone belonging to one of these categories—are demeaning and hateful things that kids should be taught not to say. But for what it's worth, the movie isn't using the word "retarded" as a simple schoolyard taunt—it's putting it in the mouths of characters who are self-absorbed and despicable to a comic degree. Which is where we get into the question of context again. _______________________ Clinton, Md.: Aside from being offensive, it seems to me that jokes about mental disability or jokes that rely on blackface are just unoriginal. Why aren't filmmakers willing to try harder than that? Is it because they know they don't have to? Dana Stevens: There are a lot of things you could say about Robert Downey Jr.'s portrayal of a white man playing a black man in this movie, but "unoriginal" is hardly one of them. On the contrary, I thought the movie took a lot of chances in its willingness to tread into the minefield-ridden territory of race relations and the appropriation of black culture by the white mainstream (which happens not only in Hollywood but in the music industry—look at Elvis.) The "Simple Jack" question (for the uninitiated, that's the name of a mentally disabled character Ben Stiller plays in a movie within the movie) is a bit more complicated. Apparently the marketers of the movie were very aware of potential offense to black audiences but failed to anticipate the outcry from the disability community. One thing they have now done is pull some material, like a fake trailer for the movie "Simple Jack," from their website. I wasn't personally offended by the Simple Jack subplot—Hollywood's penchant for sentimentalizing the Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC mentally disabled seems more condescending to me—but I can see how the trailer on its own could be offensive. _______________________ Boycott: Do you think that this effort "boycott the film" will backfire and give it more publicity? I agree that the language should not be used in advertising, but boycotts? I'm not so sure. Dana Stevens: There's no question that the net result of the calls for boycotts will get more people interested in the movie (as happened with The Passion of the Christ a few years ago). It's the old "no such thing as bad publicity" effect. I'm all for voting with your feet—if a movie offends you, by all means don't see it, and stand outside it waving a sign—but this notion of banning individual words or types of representation, along with the legal concept of "hate speech," worries me a little. The line between hate speech and free speech can get pretty thin. _______________________ Laurel, Md.: I'm a black women who's really not into comedies, but Robert Downey Jr.'s character is the only reason I wanted to see Tropic Thunder in the first place. I can tell he's being genuine. If he was on some Soul Man-type crap then I'd probably be mad, but he actually looks like a black man. The sneak preview I saw was hilarious, and I'm far from offended. Dana Stevens: Downey's remarkable performance is at the heart of what makes this particular aspect of the movie work so well (leaving Simple Jack and his problems aside for the moment). It is, quite literally, soulful, and lovingly indebted to black actors of the past (like Richard Roundtree of the Shaft movies) without being a minstrel-style race caricature. This isn't just due to Downey, but to the way his part's been written—it's complexly satirical, not just "Ha ha, look at the dude in blackface." I'm following up your question with one from another black viewer who was annoyed by the movie, or at least the idea of it: _______________________ Durham, N.C.: I still don't get it. I understand that Robert Downey Jr. is excellent (I have thought so, for a long time). I don't understand in what universe Ben Stiller thought this was okay. After all is said and done, both Stiller and Downey will continue to have "white male privilege." In the mean time, I have paid them $10 to insult me. As a critique of the industry, the wound is too close. There is a frenzy about Mad Men, when The Wire has been overlooked for years. I hope that Stiller goes out of his way to have a true relationship with black audiences (as well as other folks he has offended). No matter what his intention? This isn't cool. Stiller has not advanced the conversation. 85/140 Dana Stevens: This opens up a really touchy question about representation in the entertainment industry: Do white filmmakers have any right to explore issues of race in their work (in any way other than earnestly plodding drama calculated to offend no one)? Spike Lee used blackface as a form of social commentary in his film Bamboozled; is Ben Stiller out of bounds if he does the same? I'd argue that muzzling discourse on race based on who's doing the talking doesn't advance the conversation, either. Before you decide Tropic Thunder is insulting you, see the movie. (If you really can't bring yourself to enrich Ben Stiller, pay for another movie at the multiplex and sneak in! Not that I'm encouraging such behavior.) And while it's true, and depressing, The Wire was unfairly overlooked by the Emmy awards, it was almost universally adored by the critical establishment—here at Slate we all but built a Wire shrine. _______________________ Pittsburgh: As someone who has a person with a mental disability in the family, I took no offense to the use of "retard" in the movie. It's all about context, and anyone with a scintilla of intelligence should be able discern the true target of Stiller's script was Hollywood. I am aware that a certain portion of the audience will find humor in this segment for the wrong reasons. Should Stiller have "dumbed-down" this part of the movie because a few idiots will find humor in the use of the word alone? Should Les Grossman's part have been toned down because it plays on stereotypical moviemakers? No. It's a movie, and those who cannot discern Stiller's true targets shouldn't be allowed to censor him. Dana Stevens: It's good to hear that not everyone with a personal relationship to someone with a mental disability is automatically offended by the movie. In her review in the New York Times, Manohla Dargis points out that the Les Grossman character that Tom Cruise plays, a grotesque caricature of a vulgar Jewish movie mogul, is arguably the most offensive thing in the movie, amounting to a kind of "Jewface." Maybe it's because Stiller himself is Jewish, or maybe it's just that Tom Cruise was so unexpectedly hilarious in that role, but that one rolled right off my back. _______________________ Dana Stevens: Wow, I've gone overtime on this chat because there were so many good questions to answer. Sorry I couldn't get to them all. But before you all go forth to continue this conversation in real life, give the movie a chance, if only for Downey's performance alone. All best, Dana Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC the green lantern What's the Deal With Offshore Drilling? Will it do any good at all? By Jacob Leibenluft Tuesday, August 12, 2008, at 6:56 AM ET John McCain is talking a lot about opening up new areas to offshore drilling, and now Barack Obama appears willing to consider the idea, too. A government report supposedly found that drilling won't lower gas prices, but I've also heard that the report was flawed. What's the deal with offshore drilling? Three months is a long time during a presidential campaign. Back in early June, neither candidate supported any additional offshore drilling. Now, the Outer Continental Shelf has become Topic A in the presidential race. To understand what drilling on the OCS might yield, start with the report you heard about, a 2007 study by the federal agency assigned to compile statistics about the nation's oil usage, the Energy Information Administration. That report appears to deflate most of the arguments for drilling in the areas currently under a federal moratorium—mostly off the coasts of California and Florida. Doing so would increase oil production only by 200,000 barrels of oil a day, or just about 1 percent of the country's daily consumption. Furthermore, that level of production won't kick in until 2017 and will never have any impact on oil prices. In response, drilling advocates have pointed out a number of potential flaws with the EIA estimate. The report assumes that oil companies can't even start exploring the out-of-bounds territory for four years; if Congress did, indeed, remove its existing moratorium and states like California and Florida went along, the timeline might be pushed up earlier. In addition, the EIA based its projections on how much oil it would be profitable to drill for when prices were closer to $50 a barrel. Now that crude goes for about $115, energy companies would have the incentive to extract more of that offshore oil. These criticisms are valid. But from the perspective of lowering gas prices, they don't really matter. Even the most optimistic estimates about offshore drilling—the exact ones pushed by its strongest proponents—promise no relief at the pump now and only a small impact later. Start with the timeline: The EIA assumes that the current moratorium will remain in place until 2012, when the off-limits areas would finally be open for leasing. Then it would take 86/140 another five years for the oil companies to find the best drilling sites and start up their commercial wells. We're likely to have that five-year gap before real production begins no matter when the moratorium ends—particularly since there is a major shortage in the number of rigs available for drilling. In other words, we could all agree on the merits of offshore drilling tomorrow and it probably wouldn't increase the supply of oil until 2013 at the earliest. Now, let's imagine that higher oil prices make it profitable to drill more intensively offshore. These graphs (PDF) suggest that very high prices would effectively double the amount of "economically recoverable" oil offshore, as compared with what would be recoverable at $50 a barrel. That would give us 400,000 barrels a day. The most optimistic case for offshore drilling, from an oil industry group (PDF), predicts an eventual output of 1 million barrels a day. Even that high estimate probably won't have much of an effect on gas prices. Oil is traded on a global market, and adding 1 million barrels per day would increase global production by slightly more than 1 percent. A standard model of oil markets suggests the 1 percent change would reduce gas prices by about 3 percent over the long term—assuming that OPEC or other oil producers don't cut their own supply in order to maximize profits. (For similar reasons, the EIA predicts (PDF) opening up the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge would lower oil prices by about $1.44 a barrel in the best-case scenario.) What about the environmental impact? One major concern is aesthetic—voters (and the tourism industry in states like Florida) just don't want oil rigs sullying their coastline. Offshore oil production also produces its share of greenhouse gas emissions and air pollution and poses a hazard to seabirds. And while large spills may be rare, platforms do release "produced formation water" and drilling mud, among other materials, that might be toxic to marine life. (And no, the Lantern is not convinced that this is all OK because the platforms attract their own fish.) Still, producing oil is a dirty business regardless of where it happens, and it's worth noting that more oil spills into the water from transporting the stuff than drilling it. The bigger danger from the push for drilling—or more exactly, the arguments used on its behalf—may be how it affects our own behavior. If we pretend that offshore drilling is a fail-safe means of lowering oil prices (or even a likely means), we may hold on to rosy and unreasonable expectations for future gas prices. (In this respect, the Lantern thinks Obama has been more honest than McCain.) That will in turn change the calculations we make when it comes to long-term decisions like whether to shell out extra cash for a more fuel-efficient car or a home with access to mass transit. As long as we're counting on gas prices to go down, those green lifestyle choices won't seem as attractive. We may well be surprised once again that we're paying so much at the pump, without having done anything about it. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Is there an environmental quandary that's been keeping you up at night? Send it to ask.the.lantern@gmail.com, and check this space every Tuesday. the has-been Bush Owes to China The Olympics ad this administration doesn't want you to see. By Bruce Reed Monday, August 11, 2008, at 10:19 AM ET Monday, August 11, 2008 It's Your Money: Over the next two weeks, the Obama and McCain campaigns will spend an impressive $11 million to advertise during the Olympics. Obama's first ad, "Hands," outlines his plan for a green economy. McCain's attacks Obama on taxes. Both ads reflect the campaigns' respective game plans, although Obama's fits in much better with the upbeat not-the-triumph-butthe-struggle spirit of the games that surround it. If I had a few million to help NBC fill the time between tape delays, I might go after a topic that is on most American viewers' minds during these games and that seems destined to weigh heavily on the next president: China. When the 2008 campaign started a few lifetimes ago, this election appeared to be all about China— or, at least, about the long-term competitive challenge that the emerging economic superpowers of China and India pose to the American way of life. But a host of urgent short-term economic problems have pushed our long-term economic challenges aside. For the moment, falling housing prices, rising gas prices, and soaring credit-card debts have made us more concerned about the threat the American way of life poses to the American way of life. But if our next president ever gets done cleaning up after our current one, he'll confront China's growing shadow on issue after issue. While the United States can make an enormous difference by finally doing its part on climate change, the Chinese have already passed us as the largest producer of greenhouse gases, and our ability and willingness to make progress will depend in part on 87/140 theirs. Meanwhile, China's rising demand for oil to fuel its relentless economic growth will continue to cost us at the pump. What's an Olympics without a little national pride? And with any luck, NBC might refuse to run it. … 10:30 A.M. (link) When the next president decides what to do about education reform in the United States, China should be on his mind. The Chinese education system churns out 5 million college graduates a year, while we still paper over our high-school dropout rate and look away as half a million of the young people we send to college every year never finish. Tuesday, July 29, 2008 Perhaps most urgently, the next president will have to admit what George W. Bush would not—that if we don't put our fiscal house in order, China will foreclose on it. As Obama has pointed out, "It's very hard to tell your banker that he's wrong." This year's federal budget deficit will be a record $500 billion, not counting wars and economic bailouts. One of history's headlines on this administration will be, "Bush Owes to China." Since the primaries, Romney has steadily gained ground in the VP sweepstakes through hard work and a disciplined message: He'll help on the economy, he grew up in the swing state of Michigan, and he makes his current home in the right wing of the Republican Party. He seems at ease with the unattractive chores of being the vicepresidential nominee: raising money, playing the attack dog, telling the base what it wants to hear. The rise of China is the story of this Olympics and threatens to be the story of the next presidency. So it's only fitting to give viewers a sense of what's at stake. My dream ad would show the robot Wall-E methodically stacking pressed blocks of discarded dollar bills to form giant structures, which turn out to be the Bird's Nest stadium, the Water Cube aquatic center, and the CCTV tower. The script would go something like this: "Sponsor" (60 seconds) Trader Mitt: As if John McCain didn't have enough reason to keep quoting JFK's line that life isn't fair, consider this: According to the political futures markets, Mitt Romney now has a better chance of being McCain's running mate than McCain has of winning. On paper, Romney's VP bid looks as picture perfect as his presidential campaign once did. Yet even as Mitt watchers revel in the current boomlet, we can't help wondering whether this Romneymania will last. With that in mind, Romneystas everywhere need to start making new and urgent arguments on his behalf: ï‚· Voiceover: "Ever wonder what Washington has done with your tax dollars? This Olympics is your chance to find out. For the last 8 years, the Bush administration has been paying China billions of dollars in interest on the trillions it borrowed for tax breaks, pork, and special privileges you never got. That money helped create thousands of businesses and millions of jobs—in China. So as you enjoy the games, keep an eye on your tax dollars at work. The way our economy's going, it's tough to pay your bills. But take heart: You already paid China's." Tagline: "America's Taxpayers. Proud Sponsors of the Beijing Olympics." Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC ï‚· The French Are Coming!: Romney was widely mocked last fall when he warned that France posed a clear and present danger to the American way of life. But after watching French President Nicolas Sarkozy embrace Barack Obama in Paris last week, conservatives may finally warm to Mitt's "First, Not France" slogan after all. Romney has impeccable credentials as a Francophobe; Sarkozy would never dream of saying of him, "If he is chosen, then France will be delighted." In a few short hours in Paris, Obama claimed the president as a convert. Romney spent two whole years in France and converted no one whatsoever. Leave 'Em Laughing as You Go: One of McCain's heroes, Mo Udall, loved to tell the story of primary voters who heard him say, 88/140 ï‚· "I'm Mo Udall and I'm running for president," and responded, "We were just laughing about that this morning." Poor Mo wouldn't know what to make of this campaign. Two months into the general election, nobody's laughing about anything. No one much wants to joke about Obama or McCain. If Romney were the VP, pundits across the spectrum would exult that at last they had someone fun to mess with. He's a good sport and a happy square, with a track record of supplying ample new material. WALL-E's World: Mitt Romney's Web site is a shadow of its former self—no Five Brothers blog, no ad contests, no animatronic Mitt messages for your voicemail. Yet like WALL-E's stash of charming knickknacks, the few surviving objects on Planet Romney carry greater meaning. For example, a striking photo highlights a strength few politicians reveal: Unlike McCain, Mitt Romney was born to read a teleprompter. In the official campaign photo of him rehearsing his concession speech, Mitt is barely visible. All the focus is on the words in big type to be loaded on the prompter. McCain doesn't much like giving speeches and treats teleprompters accordingly. But you can see how a campaign that has struggled to follow a script might be tempted by the first completely programmable running mate. In 2000, McCain often joked that he was Luke Skywalker. This time, Romney could be his C3PO. ... 12:47 p.m. (link) Tuesday, July 8, 2008 Make My Day: What a difference a month makes. At its June meeting, the D.C. City Council debated Mayor Adrian Fenty's emergency legislation to ban sparklers. After the Supreme Court struck down the city's gun ban, the Council spent last week's July meeting debating emergency legislation to let residents own handguns. Here in the District, we couldn't shoot off firecrackers over the Fourth because they're too dangerous, but we can now keep a loaded pistol by our bedside, ready to shoot down prowlers in self-defense. Like most D.C. residents, I have no plans to stockpile guns in the wake of the Supreme Court Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC decision. But if the city wants to take away my sparklers, they'll have to pry them from my cold, dead, slightly charred hands. When I was growing up, the rights to keep and bear firearms and fireworks went hand in hand. My grandmother used a revolver to shoot garter snakes in her garden. Well into her eighties, however, her greatest pleasure in life was to spend the Fourth setting off massive strings of firecrackers, 200 at a time. When she came to visit, she'd step off the airplane with a suitcase full of firecrackers purchased on an Indian reservation. As soon as we got home, she'd light the fuse with her cigarette, then squeal with delight as serial explosions made the gravel in our driveway dance. In recent years, firearm regulation and firework regulation have gone their separate ways. The National Rifle Association has successfully opposed most gun laws, even ones aimed primarily at criminals. Armed with Justice Scalia's maddeningly unhelpful ruling on the D.C. ban, the NRA already has begun to target the rest. By contrast, although fireworks aren't nearly as deadly as guns, the government treats them like what they are – a widely popular, sometimes dangerous American tradition. The federal government long ago banned once-commonplace explosives like cherry bombs. Most states – even the libertarian bastion of Idaho – have banned or restricted the use of firecrackers. According to the website AmericanPyro, five states, including Iowa and Illinois, permit only sparklers and snakes. Five others, including New York and Massachusetts, allow no consumer fireworks whatsoever. In general, states insist that fireworks must be "safe and sane" – a balance that has been all but impossible to strike with firearms. Thanks to the enduring power of pyromania, sales haven't suffered. Since 1976, fireworks consumption has increased ten-fold, while fireworks-related injuries have dropped. Fireworks manufacturers can take heart in knowing that this year's survivors are next year's customers. Because there is no Second Amendment right to keep and bear sparklers, fireworks law is a straightforward balancing test – between the 89/140 individual right to burn a hole in the back porch and the mutual responsibility not to burn entire communities to the ground, the personal freedom to pyromaniacal self-expression and the personal responsibility not to harm oneself and others. These days, the fireworks industry has more to fear from climate change than from the authorities. This summer, the threat of wildfires led Arnold Schwarzenegger to ask Californians to boycott fireworks. Drought forced John McCain to forego fireworks at his annual Independence Day barbecue in Arizona. The trouble with the Supreme Court ruling in the Heller case is not that it interprets the Second Amendment as an individual right. The Second Amendment is the constitutional equivalent of the grammatical paradox Eats Shoots & Leaves, but whatever the Founders meant by its muddy wording and punctuation, most Americans now take it for granted. The real problem with the Court's decision is that the balancing test for gun rights and responsibilities is even less clear than before. Scalia's opinion devotes 30 pages to a grammatical history of the Second Amendment and a single sentence to how the courts should apply it to most other gun laws already on the books. Alongside such vast imprecision, the Court went out of its way to strike down the requirement for trigger locks – an extraordinarily modest attempt to balance freedom and safety. Trigger locks can help prevent gun accidents and keep guns out of the hands of children. Far from impeding selfdefense, new trigger locks can be unlocked with a fingerprint or a special ring on the gun owner's finger. That means today's gun owner can arm himself to shoot an intruder in an instant – compared to the 30 seconds or more it took to load a pistol or musket in the 18th Century. Over the long term, it's not clear how much of a boon the Heller decision will be for gun rights advocates. In winning the case, the gun lobby lost its most potent argument – the threat that at any moment, the government will knock on the door and take your guns away. With that bogeyman out of the way, the case for common-sense gun safety measures is stronger than ever. Perhaps now the gun debate will revolve around more practical and less incendiary issues, like what can be done to reduce Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC illegal gun trafficking and trace guns used in crimes. If it's any small consolation, the real winners in Heller may turn out to be the sparkler lobby. If cities have trouble banning handguns, they will be hard-pressed to take away sparklers. Of course, as with guns, the threat to sparklers may well have been exaggerated. The D.C. Council rejected Mayor Fenty's sparkler ban by a vote of 11-2, as members nostalgically recalled playing with them in their youth. Councilman and former mayor Marion Barry voted no "with a bang." As Barry knows, there are worse things in life to light than a sparkler. ... 9:51 A.M. (link) Friday, June 6, 2008 The Fight of Her Life: Ten years ago, at a White House farewell for a favorite staff member, Hillary Clinton described the two kinds of people in the world: born optimists like her husband who see the glass as half-full, and born realists like herself who can see the glass is half-empty. As she ends her campaign and throws her support behind Barack Obama's remarkable quest, Hillary could be forgiven for seeing her glass as, quite literally, half-empty. The two candidates traded primary after primary down the stretch, two titans matching each other vote for vote. In the closest race in the modern era, she and Obama split the Democratic wishbone nearly right down the middle, but she's not the one who got her wish. Yet for Hillary and the 18 million of us who supported her, there is no shame in one historic campaign coming up just short against another. History is a great deal wiser than Chris Matthews, and will be kinder, too. The 2008 contest has been one for the ages, and the annals will show that Hillary Clinton has gained far more than she lost. The Obama-Clinton match will go down as the longest, closest, most exciting, most exhausting ever. Obama ran an inspired campaign and seized the moment. Clinton came close, and by putting up a tough fight now, helped fortify him for the fight ahead. 90/140 Our campaign made plenty of mistakes, none of which has gone unreported. But Hillary is right not to dwell on "woulda, coulda, shoulda." From New Hampshire to South Dakota, the race she ran earned its own place in the history books. While the way we elect presidents leaves a lot to be desired, it has one redeeming virtue, as the greatest means ever invented to test what those who seek the job are made of. In our lifetimes, we'll be hard-pressed to find a candidate made of tougher stuff than Hillary Clinton. Most candidates leave a race diminished by it. Hillary is like tempered steel: the more intense the heat, the tougher she gets. And has any candidate had to face fiercer, more sustained heat? As a frontrunner, she expected a tough ride, and as Hillary Clinton, she was accustomed to it. But if she was used to the scrutiny, she could not have anticipated – and did not deserve – the transparent hostility behind it. In much the same way the right wing came unglued when her husband refused to die in the '90s, the media lost its bearings when she defied and survived them. Slate at least held off on its noxious Hillary Deathwatch until March; most of the press corps began a breathless Clinton Deathwatch last Thanksgiving. The question that turned her campaign around in New Hampshire – "How do you do it?" – brought Hillary to tears out of sheer gratitude that someone out there had noticed. For a few searing days in New Hampshire, we watched her stare into the abyss. Any other candidate forced to read her own obituary so often would have come to believe it. But as she went on to demonstrate throughout this campaign, Hillary had faith that there is life after political death, and the wherewithal to prove it. In New Hampshire, she discarded the frontrunner mantle and found her voice. For a race that was largely won or lost in Iowa, the discovery came a few days too late. But the grit Clinton showed with her back to the wall all those months will make her a force with a following for years to come. The chief hurdle for Clinton's presidential bid wasn't whether she could do the job; Democrats never doubted she would make a good president. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Ironically, the biggest question she faced for much of the race is one she answered clearly by the time she left it: whether America was ready for a woman president. No one asks that question any longer. For all the sexism she encountered as the first woman with a serious shot at the White House, voters themselves made clear they were ready. The longer the race went on, the more formidable she looked in the general election. In this week's CBS News poll, she was beating John McCain by nine points, even as she was losing the Democratic nomination. Last year, the press and other campaigns insisted that Clinton was too polarizing and that half the country was united against her. Now, a woman who was supposed to be one of the most polarizing figures in America leaves the race with handsome leads over McCain in places like North Carolina, a state her husband never carried. When her campaign started, aides often described Hillary as the least known, least understood famous person in America. During this campaign, it became clear that in certain quarters she's the most deliberately misunderstood person as well. The recent RFK flap was yet another attempt to suggest that her every miscue was part of some diabolical master plan. Yet while talking heads imagined the evils of Hillary Clinton, voters finally came to know and understand her. They saw someone who knew what they were going through, who would stick with them, fight for them, and get back up when she got knocked down. The phony, consultantdriven shadow boxing of the last few years has dulled Democrats to the party's historic mission – to defend the values and stand up for the interests of ordinary people who are doing all they can just to get ahead. For those voters, Hillary Clinton was the champion they've been looking for, a fighter they can count on, win or lose, not to let them down. That's a fight she'll never quit. Like the woman in New Hampshire, we still wonder how Hillary does it, but this time, the tears are on us. As we wish her well, our hopes are high, our hearts are full – and if our glass is empty, it was worth every drop. ... 11:58 P.M. (link) 91/140 Friday, May 30, 2008 The Adventures of Bobble-Foot: For enough money, any McClellan or Stephanopoulos in Washington will write a kiss-and-tell book these days. But the memoir Larry Craig just announced he's writing could launch a whole new genre: don't-kiss, don't-tell. Craig revealed his plans on Boise television during Tuesday's coverage of the Senate primary to choose his potential successors. For the senator, if not his viewers, it was a poignant moment, one last point of no return in a three-decade-long political career. With a touch of empathy, the local reporter told Craig, "You're looking forward now to a much different life for yourself." Alas, the life Craig described isn't much different from any other retiring pol's, nor does he sound like he's looking forward to it. He hinted that he is entertaining a number of lobbying offers. Because of ethics rules, he explains, "There are some one-way conversations going on, 'cause I've said I can't talk, but I certainly can listen." Perhaps they can figure out some kind of code. ï‚· These are heady times for the Idaho senator. Last Sunday, on National Tap Dance Day, the first-place St. Paul Saints, a minor league baseball team, drew their biggest crowd of the year with a special promotion in Craig's honor: a bobble-foot doll commemorating the bathroom stall at MinneapolisSt.Paul airport. The team website reported, "Saints Have Toe-Tapping Good Time, Win 9-3." The bobble-foot promotion gave Craig a way to test his market value even beyond the lobbying and book worlds. Scores of Craig bobble-feet are now available on eBay, selling for upwards of $75 apiece. You'd better hurry: Like successful appeals of uncoerced confessions, supplies are limited. ï‚· The upcoming memoir may be the last we ever hear from the man, so it's worth asking: What kind of book will Larry Craig write? Consider the possibilities: ï‚· The Broken Branch: Left to his own devices (never a good idea), Craig seems likely to Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC ï‚· write an insiders' version of the woe-isgridlock lament popularized most recently by political scientists Norm Ornstein and Tom Mann. "The thing that's important for someone with my experience to talk about is the state of politics in Washington," Craig said Tuesday. "It's created what I call a extremely dysfunctional, hyperpartisan Senate. We're getting little to nothing done." Craig cites immigration and energy policy. As his agent and editor will surely tell him, this sober approach is not the way for Craig to put his best foot forward. No one wants to read the case for decisive action written by a man who claimed his innocence after pleading guilty and remained in office after promising to quit. Then again, Craig might not be a household word if he had listened to the advice of Ornstein and Mann, who urged members to bring their families to live with them in Washington. The Packwood Diaries: With slight modifications, Craig has modeled his entire Senate career after his friend, former Oregon Sen. Bob Packwood. Craig sobbed on the Senate floor the day Packwood resigned. Packwood dug in his heels and remained in office for three years after his sex scandal became public. Craig has done the same, and is only leaving because his term is up. Considering how much Packwood served as his role model, it's possible that Craig tried to emulate another part of the Oregonian's legacy: the Packwood diaries. Packwood kept a meticulous journal of all his exploits, with an eye to history and none on the lookout for satire or federal prosecution. We can only hope Craig has done the same. What Happened: Every publisher is looking for the next Scott McClellan, who told lies for a living but was scared straight after his escape. Craig could play this role with gusto. The pitch: It wasn't his idea to stand up in front of the press time after time and insist he wasn't gay. Karl Rove made him do it, in a deliberate cover-up to protect the Republican brand – and he'll never forgive Rove for it. If I Did It: O.J. Simpson never got to keep a dime of his controversial book, If I Did It: Confessions of the Killer. Craig, on the other 92/140 hand, could hypothesize all the way to the bank. Senators love to write loosely autobiographical fiction. Gary Hart and Bill Cohen wrote The Double Man about a politician who wanted to be president. Barbara Boxer wrote A Time to Run about a woman who becomes a liberal senator from California. Craig could write a great book about an imaginary conservative senator who happens to be gay. His hypothetical musings would wow the critics and sell like crazy. Besides, what does Craig have to lose? Hinting he did it would be no more an admission of guilt than the misdemeanor plea he was just kidding us about last June. ... 8:48 P.M. (link) Wednesday, May 28, 2008 Mr. Romney's Neighborhoods: Mitt Romney has a new motto: If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. In the past two months, he has transformed himself from John McCain's sharpest critic to one of his most active surrogates. For more than a year, Romney traveled the country talking up his chances of becoming president. Now he coyly downplays any chance of gaining the vicepresidential nod. On Saturday, we learned of another surprising reversal. In mid-May, the state Supreme Court voted to allow same-sex marriage in California. This weekend, news leaked that Romney has decided to buy a house there. With property in Massachusetts and California as well as New Hampshire and Utah, the crusader who once warned his son that Democrats would usher in same-sex marriage now owns homes in two of the eight jurisdictions on earth that allow it. Diane Bell of the San Diego Union-Tribune—who began her column Saturday with the immortal words "Mitt Romney is in escrow"—sparked a rush of rumors by asking: "Could Romney be planning to establish residency in California with an eye on the governor's seat? Gov. Schwarzenegger is forced out by term limits in 2010. Stay tuned ..." If Romney wanted to buy into a slumping market, his timing couldn't be better. San Diego real estate prices are down 18 percent from a year ago, Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC making even La Jolla beachfront a bargain. When Schwarzenegger's term runs out, the California Republican Party will likewise be the political equivalent of a vacant lot. Romney's staff quickly shot down any Golden State ambitions. A spokesman told the Associated Press, "Governor Romney has been looking at property on the West Coast because he has family in California, and because his wife, Ann, spends a good deal of time there riding horses." The AP noted that son Matt lives in San Diego, "while son Josh lives in Salt Lake City." That's 750 miles away—less than a month's ride on horseback! Romney spent the weekend at John McCain's Western getaway with other vice-presidential hopefuls. The La Jolla purchase gives him one more advantage over the rest of the field: He now brings the most undisclosed secure locations. This isn't the first time homeownership has emerged as an important theme for Romney. When he ran for governor of Massachusetts in 2002, he had to amend his tax returns, which showed he had actually been a resident of Utah. His presidential bid made much of his vacation home on Lake Winnipesaukee, but a second home in New Hampshire wasn't enough to save him after he lost the first caucus in Iowa. If Romney had bought a summer place in Cedar Rapids instead, he might be the presumptive nominee today. Then he could have been the one to invite prospective running mates to spend Memorial Day weekend at his home, wherever that might be. Last week, Mitt launched a new campaign vehicle, Free and Strong America PAC, which is backing candidates like … John McCain. He even has his own blog. While it's a far cry from the Five Brothers Blog, the Mitt blog brings welcome news of how they're doing. Ben is expecting his first child, Craig his second, Josh his fourth. Matt had his fourth a few months ago. Clearly, the Romney boys have put their blogging days behind them. Remarkably, the Romney plan seems to be working. While housing prices plunge, Mitt vicepresidential futures are soaring. On Tuesday, Romney stock hit its highest price on Intrade in six weeks, moving into first place ahead of Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty. 93/140 Why the rebound? One of Romney's greatest weaknesses may also be his greatest strength: He's always making up for his last mistake. When Politico asked leading Republicans how to save their party, Romney had the best answer: new ideas, a better agenda, and "a very clear set of principles." The GOP is in trouble if Mitt Romney is its go-to guy for principle. But if a house on your block is for sale, you have to admit: He'd make a great neighbor. ... 9:53 a.m. (link) Tuesday, May 13, 2008 On the Rocks: After years of comparing illegitimacy rates around the world—which were low in Italy, moderate in Germany, and astronomical in the United States—Sen. Pat Moynihan used to joke that out-of-wedlock birth rates increase in direct proportion to distance from the Vatican. Now another member of the New York delegation has gone out of his way to confirm Moynihan's theory. Vito Fossella Jr.'s office is a long way from Rome. Moynihan offered an even more prescient explanation of Fossella's behavior in his famous essay "Defining Deviancy Down." Citing a sociologist's rationalization that "the number of deviant offenders a community can afford to recognize is likely to remain stable over time," Moynihan feared a vicious cycle of what another New Yorker, Fred Siegel, dubbed "moral deregulation": The more people bend the rules, the further some will go in bending them. Human weakness may be a renewable resource, but public attention is not—so, no matter how many cads live in the tri-state area, only the most shameless can make the front page of the tabloids. According to the tabloids, Rep. Fossella's troubles began in December 2002, when he fell for Air Force legislative liaison Laura Fay on a junket to Malta. The Daily News marvels that their union could take root on such rocky soil: "Malta is not an obvious place for a love affair to flourish. Not unlike Staten Island, it tends to be a conservative place." Of course, in those days, so was the House of Representatives. Speaker Dennis Hastert himself led that congressional delegation to Malta. The Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC following summer, Hastert took Fossella and Fay along on another European junket. One person on the trip told the Daily News that the affair became an open secret in Spain, somewhere near the Alhambra. The newspaper claims that "word about the affair spread, and Republican officials soon became concerned, fearing it would be exposed, sources said." The tabloid implies that the Air Force dropped Fay as a legislative liaison because she was a little too good at it. Obviously, Vito Fossella's personal life is not Dennis Hastert's fault. Perhaps the speaker had his nose in a guidebook or was rereading Washington Irving's classic Tales of the Alhambra. (Unexplored tabloid angle: The namesake for Irving's most famous character, Ichabod Crane, is buried on Staten Island—just like Fossella's political career.) Moreover, once you've accepted the ethics of congressional leaders and Pentagon staffers taking taxpayer-funded fact-finding missions to the tourist capitals of Europe, you don't have to be above the legal blood alcohol limit to have trouble seeing any bright lines. Still, the leadership's avoidance and denial in this case is eerily similar to the last great House Republican sex scandal, involving former Florida Rep. Mark Foley. A House ethics committee investigation determined that Hastert's chief of staff, Scott Palmer, learned of Foley's page problem in 2002 or 2003, the same period as Fossella's budding romance. The House leadership did nothing about it. As the ethics committee report declared, "A pattern of conduct was exhibited among many individuals to remain willfully ignorant." In time, those years may be remembered as the Era of Willful Ignorance. Mark Foley was busy IMing House pages. Jack Abramoff and Ralph Reed were busy e-mailing each other. Tom DeLay was busy hounding the FAA to track down Texas Democratic legislators who had flown to Oklahoma. Today's New York Post reports that Scott Palmer, the Hastert aide, knew about the Fossella-Fay problem, too. He did something but not about the wayward congressman. Instead, Palmer called the Pentagon and reported Fay for unprofessional behavior. "I lost confidence in her and I'm not going to kid you," Palmer told the Post. "I was also 94/140 concerned with this other relationship thing. It didn't look like it should." Five years later, Republicans no doubt wish their leaders had lost confidence in Fossella after the Alhambra instead of waiting for the mistress, love child, and DUI. But as Pat Moynihan warned, there's a limit to the number of ethically deviant members any community can afford to recognize at one time. … 10:52 a.m. (link) Tuesday, May 6, 2008 Three's Company: For Democrats who still can't decide between Clinton and Obama, a third candidate has put his name on the ballot in the Idaho primary later this month. Keith Russell Judd is pro-choice, opposes No Child Left Behind, wants to end the war in Iraq, and once bowled a 300 game. There's just one catch: he's an inmate at a federal prison in Beaumont, Texas, and won't get out until 2013. Two decades ago, Idaho nearly re-elected a congressman who was on his way to prison. So perhaps it was only a matter of time before someone already in prison would see Idaho as a springboard to the White House. Asked how a federal prisoner could qualify for the ballot, Idaho Secretary of State Ben Ysursa told the press, "We got conned." The state recently eliminated the requirement for candidates to gather signatures; now they just need to fill out a form and pay a $1,000 fee. According to the Spokane Spokesman-Review, Keith Judd sent forms and checks to 14 states, but only Idaho put his name on the ballot. Judd isn't the only out-of-state candidate on the primary ballot. Hal Styles Jr. of Desert Hot Springs, California, who has never been to Idaho, is seeking the Republican nomination for U.S. Senate. For all the heartache and suffering that Larry Craig has caused the state, his arrest and subsequent humiliation have done wonders for candidate recruitment. Far from frightening people away, Craig has lowered the bar so much that even hardened criminals think they could win there. Judd's 35-year membership in the NRA might give him an edge with some Idaho voters. But the road Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC from Beaumont to Denver is a tough one. Idaho already selected its delegates in caucuses on Super Tuesday. The May 27 primary is just a beauty contest, and Judd seems to be going for the Willie Nelson look. Even in a year when come-from-behind victories have become the norm, a come-from-behind-bars campaign requires exceptional resourcefulness. Judd used a Texas newspaper tip line as the phone number for his campaign office, and an IRS line in Ohio as the number for his campaign coordinator. He paid the $1,000 with a U.S. Treasury check drawn on his prison account. Although no one has contributed to his campaign, Judd diligently files a handwritten FEC report every quarter. The FEC database shows Judd for President with $532,837 in total receipts, $11,285 in total expenditures, and an impressive $387,561 in cash on hand. With more than half a million in receipts, Judd's reported total exceeds that of Mike Gravel, who is practically a household name. The Huckabee and Giuliani campaigns would have done anything to match Judd's figure for cash-on-hand. Running for president isn't a habit Judd picked up in prison, where he has spent the past decade since being convicted of making threats at the University of New Mexico. He has been running for office his whole life. He ran for mayor of Albuquerque in the early '90s, and tried to run for governor. He sought the presidency in 1996, 2000, and 2004 – when he won 3 write-in votes. He has filed more than 70 FEC reports going all the way back to 1995. Judd has shown the same persistence in the courts, firing off appeals at a faster clip than Larry Craig. In 1999, after receiving a dozen frivolous cert petitions from Judd, the U.S. Supreme Court barred him from filing any more non-criminal claims unless he paid the required fees. In 2005, the 3rd Circuit Court of Appeals prepared an order noting that Judd had filed "at least 70 frivolous, duplicative and repetitive actions in this Court." By the time the order was issued, that number had reached 82. Idaho has a long history of embracing maverick long shots, and Judd's iconoclastic background and platform won't hurt. He passes the Mickey Kaus 95/140 test on welfare reform but not immigration. He favors eliminating all federal taxes so "the government can operate on its own self produced money." He wants to require gun licensing but let people carry concealed weapons. He says his national security views are "classified," but his Iraq position is "withdraw ASAP and forget it." Judd plays the bass and bongos, belongs to the ACLU and the NRA, and admires JFK and Nixon. His nicknames are "Mr. President" and "Dark Priest," and his favorite athlete is a professional bowler. Bowling is hardly the rage in Idaho: In a fitting tribute to Bowling Alone, Robert Putnam's famous theory of social alienation, my hometown turned the bowling alley into a self-storage complex. Still, Judd's rivals can only envy his claim to have once bowled a perfect game. Idaho pundits, who've had their fill of national attention, cringe over Judd's candidacy. "Jailbird Makes Us Look Silly," wrote the Ketchum Idaho Mountain Express. Others around the country note the irony that a felon can run but can't vote. The Illinois State University student newspaper, the Daily Vidette, defended Judd's right to run, but warned voters and party leaders not to support him: "All superdelegates should save their endorsements for candidates with a real shot." At one particularly low moment of the 1988 campaign, a news crew tracked down Willie Horton and found out that if he weren't behind bars, he would vote for Dukakis. Give Keith Judd credit for passing up the chance to endorse Obama or Clinton, and running against them instead. ... 12:28 a.m. (link) Monday, April 21, 2008 Running With the Big Dogs: While Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama deflected Charlie Gibson's question about running together, last week was a big one for Democrats' other dream ticket: any Republican pairing that includes Mitt Romney. With a well-received cameo at a national press dinner and nods from Great Mentioners like George H.W. Bush and Karl Rove, Mitt is back—and campaigning hard for the No. 2 slot. When John McCain wrapped up the Republican nomination back in February, the odds against Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC picking Romney looked long indeed. The two spent the entire primary season at each others' throats. Romney trashed McCain over "amnesty" for illegal immigrants; McCain joked that Romney's many flip-flops proved he really was "the candidate of change." Even Rudy Giuliani, not known for making peace, chimed in from Florida that McCain and Romney were "getting kind of nasty," implying that they needed to come chill with him at the beach. Sure enough, after a little time off, Romney felt better—good enough to begin his vice-presidential audition. He went on Fox to say, "There really are no hard feelings." He interrupted his vacation in Utah to host a fundraiser for McCain. After months of dismissing McCain as a Washington insider, Romney flip-flopped and praised him as a longtime congressional champion of Reaganism. Lest anyone fail to notice, Romney confessed that he would be honored to be McCain's running mate, and practiced ripping into the potential Democratic nominees: "When it comes to national security, John McCain is the big dog, and they are the Chihuahuas." Of course, any big dog should think twice before agreeing to a long journey with Mitt Romney. The past would not be easy for McCain, Romney, and their staffs and families to overcome. Before New Hampshire, McCain's alter ego, Mark Salter, called Romney "a small-varmint gun totin,' civil rights marching, NRA-endorsed fantasy candidate." After the primaries were over, Josh Romney suggested that the Five Brothers wouldn't be gassing up the Mittmobile for McCain anytime soon: "It's one thing to campaign for my dad, someone whose principles I line up with almost entirely," he told the Deseret News. "I can't say the same thing for Sen. McCain." For Mitt Romney, that won't be a problem: Any grudge would vanish the instant McCain named him as his running mate. And by the Republican convention in September, Romney's principles will be due for their six-month realignment. The more difficult question is, What's in it for McCain? Actually, Romney brings more to the ticket than you might think. As in any partnership, the key to happiness between running mates is a healthy division of labor. When Bill Clinton and Al Gore teamed up in 1992, Clinton had spent most of 96/140 his career on the economy, education, health care, and other domestic issues; Gore was an expert on national security, the environment, and technology. Even the Bush-Cheney pairing made some sense: Bush cared only about squandering the surplus, privatizing Social Security, and running the economy into the ground; Cheney was more interested in hoarding executive power, helping narrow interests, and tarnishing America's image in the world. So, McCain and Romney are off to a good start: They come from different backgrounds and share no common interests. McCain, a soldier turned senator, prefers national security above all else. As a former businessman and governor, Romney rarely brings up foreign policy—for reasons that sometimes become apparent when he does so. In his concession speech, Romney said he was dropping out to give McCain a united front against Obama, Clinton, and Bin Laden. "In this time of war, I simply cannot let my campaign be a part of aiding a surrender to terror," he said. "We cannot allow the next president of the United States to retreat in the face of evil extremism!!" For the general election, the McCain campaign must decide what to do with conservative positions it took to win the Republican primaries. Here again, Romney is a godsend: a vice-presidential candidate who'll flip-flop so the nominee doesn't have to. No one can match Romney's experience at changing positions: He has been on both sides of abortion, talked out of both sides of his mouth on same-sex marriage, and been for and against his own health care plan. It's a market-based approach to principle—just the glue Republicans need to expand their coalition. Moderates might assume Romney was only pretending to be conservative, and conservatives will thank him for trying. Straight talk is all well and good for presidential candidates. But as Dick Cheney demonstrated, the job of a Republican vice-presidential candidate is quite the opposite—keeping a straight face while saying things that couldn't possibly be true. Take the economy, for example. McCain gets visibly uncomfortable whenever he ventures beyond fiscal conservatism. Romney is more flexible. In an interview with National Journal last week, he had no trouble contending that corporate tax cuts help the middle class. He spent the primaries warning Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC that the United States was on a slippery slope to becoming the next France. Now he's perfectly happy to argue that we have to cut corporate taxes to keep companies from moving to France. In his surprise appearance at the Radio & Television Correspondents dinner in Washington last week, Romney showed another virtue that makes him perfect for the role—a vice-presidential temperament. With his "Top 10 Reasons for Dropping Out," he proved that he is ready to poke fun at himself on Day 1. A vice president needs to be good at selfdeprecation, yet not so skilled that he outshines the boss. By that standard, Romney's audition was perfect: He chose good material ("There weren't as many Osmonds as I had thought"; "As a lifelong hunter, I didn't want to miss the start of varmint season") and delivered it just awkwardly enough to leave the audience wondering whether to laugh or feel slightly uncomfortable. After watching him up close in the primaries, Team McCain no doubt harbors real reservations about Romney. Some conservatives distrust him so much, they're running full-page ads that say, "NO Mitt." A Google search of John McCain, Mitt Romney, and food taster produces more than 100 entries. But looking ahead to a tense fall campaign, McCain should put those concerns aside and listen to voices from across the spectrum. This could be the issue that unites the country across party lines. Democrats like a little fun at Mitt Romney's expense. The McCain camp does, too—perhaps more so. And after last week, we know that—ever the good sport—even Romney's all for it. ... 2:14 p.m. (link) Thursday, April 10, 2008 Twist and Shout: When the news broke last August that Larry Craig had been arrested in a restroom sex sting, he had a ready answer: The Idaho Statesman made him do it. He claimed that the Statesman's monthslong investigation into whether he was gay made him panic and plead guilty. Otherwise, he said, he feared that what happened in Minneapolis might not stay in 97/140 Minneapolis, and the Statesman would make sure the voters of Idaho found out. which might have staved off the Statesman investigation before it got started. Craig's jihad against the Statesman didn't go over too well in Idaho, where people are more likely to read the newspaper in the restroom than worry about it afterward. On Monday, the Statesman was named a runner-up for the Pulitzer Prize in Breaking News Reporting for what the committee called "its tenacious coverage of the twists and turns in the scandal involving the state's senator, Larry Craig." Craig's latest revelation undermines his defense in another way as well. If he is telling the truth that he had made up his mind not to run before his arrest, that would be the best explanation yet for why he risked putting himself in a position to get arrested. Eliot Spitzer's re-election prospects plunged long before he got caught, too. The story took yet another strange twist and turn this week. For the past six months, the entire political world has been wondering why Craig promised to resign when the scandal broke, then changed his mind a few days later. In a rare interview Wednesday with the congressional newspaper the Hill, Craig finally found someone to blame for staying in the Senate: The people of Idaho made him do it. According to the Hill, Craig said "support from Idahoans convinced him to reverse his pledge to resign last year." This was news to most Idaho voters, who have viewed the whole affair with shock, outrage, embarrassment, and dismay. But Craig didn't stop there. The Hill reports that he also said his decision not to run for re-election "predated the controversy." Last fall, Craig stunned Idahoans by insisting he was not gay, not guilty, and not leaving. Now he says it's our fault he never left, he was leaving anyway, and if he's not running, it's not because we don't believe him when he says he's not guilty and not gay. Unfortunately, Craig's latest explanation casts some doubt on the excuse he gave last fall. If he had already decided long ago that he wasn't running for re-election, he had less reason to panic over his arrest, and much less to fear from voters finding out about it back home. In September, he made it sound as if he pled guilty to a crime he didn't commit to avoid a political firestorm back home. If politics were of no concern, he had every reason to fight the charges in court. For that matter, if he was so sure he wouldn't run again, he could have announced his decision early last year, Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Nothing can fully explain why public figures like Craig and Spitzer would flagrantly risk arrest. But we can rule out political suicide if they'd already decided their political careers were over. ... 3:55 p.m. (link) Wednesday, April 2, 2008 B.Looper: Learned reader Kyle Sammin recalls that Idaho's Marvin "Pro-Life" Richardson has nothing on 1998 Tennessee State Senate candidate Byron "Low-Tax" Looper. Besides changing his name, Looper also murdered his opponent. Under Tennessee law, the names of dead candidates are removed from the ballot. So even though he was quickly charged with homicide, Looper nearly ran unopposed. The victim's widow won a last-minute write-in campaign. Looper was sentenced to life in prison. Bloopers: The Pittsburgh Pirates are now the most mediocre first-place team in baseball history. In their season opener Monday night against Atlanta, the Bucs provided plenty of evidence that this year will turn out like the last 15. They blew a five-run lead in the ninth by walking four batters and booting an easy fly ball. Pirate players said they'd never seen anything like it, not even in Little League. For an inning, it looked like the team had gone on strike to demand more money. But to every Buc fan's surprise, the Pirates won, anyway—12-11 in 12 innings—and with no game Tuesday, Pittsburgh has been above .500 for two glorious days. New General Manager Neal Huntington e-mailed me on Monday to promise that the team's new regime is determined to build an organization that will make the people of Pittsburgh proud again. That might take a while. For now, we're content to make the people of 98/140 Atlanta feel really embarrassed. ... 1:35 p.m. (link) Tuesday, April 1, 2008 Danger Is My Middle Name: Outgoing Senator Larry Craig can take consolation in one thing: out in Idaho, everyone wants his seat. Fourteen candidates have filed to run for the Senate, including eight Republicans, two Democrats, two Independents, and a Libertarian. Hal Styles Jr. of Desert Hot Springs, California, entered the Republican primary, even though he has never been to Idaho. "I know I'll love it because, clean air, clean water and many, many, many mountains," he says. "My heart, my mind, my body, my soul, my thoughts are in this to win." The general election will likely be a rematch between former Democratic congressman Larry LaRocco and Republican Lt. Gov. (and former governor) Jim Risch. If Idahoans find those two insufficiently embarrassing, however, a number of fringe candidates have lined up to take Craig's place. According to CQ, one Independent, Rex Rammel, is a former elk rancher who is angry that Risch ordered state wildlife officials to shoot some of his elk that got away. The Libertarian, Kent A. Marmon, is running against "the ever-expanding Socialist agenda" he claims is being pushed by Democratic congressmen like John Dingell. But by far the most creative third-party candidate is Marvin Richardson, an organic strawberry farmer who went to court to change his name to "Pro-Life." Two years ago, he made that his middle name and tried to run for governor as Marvin "Pro-Life" Richardson. State election officials ruled that middle names couldn't be used to make a political statement on the ballot. As plain old Marvin Richardson, he won just 1.6% of the vote. Now that "Pro-Life" is his full name, the state had to let him run that way on the ballot. He told the Idaho Press-Tribune that with the name change, he should win 5%. He plans to run for office every two years for as long as he lives: "If I save one baby's life, it will be worth it." As the Press-Tribune points out, Pro-Life is not a single-issue candidate, but has a comprehensive platform. In addition to abortion, he opposes "homosexuality, adultery, and fornication." He wants the pro-life movement to refer to abortion as "murder," although he has not yet insisted pro-choice candidates change their name to that. Idaho Republicans and anti-abortion activists don't share ProLife's enthusiasm. They worry that conservative voters will Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC check the box next to both Pro-Life and the Republican candidate, thereby spoiling their ballots. So last week, the Idaho Secretary of State persuaded both houses of the legislature to pass emergency legislation to clarify that "voters are casting a vote for a person and not a political proposition." Under the legislation, candidates who appear to have changed their names to "convey a political message" will be outed on the ballot as "a person, formerly known as …." The Prince Bill will go to the governor for signature this week. According to the Associated Press, Pro-Life accuses legislators of "trying to legislate intelligence"—a charge not often hurled at the Idaho legislature. "The people that vote for me are more intelligent than to have something defined in legislation like this," he says. Of course, Idahoans who really want to make a political statement will still be able to outsmart the Prince Bill. Nothing in the legislation prohibits Idaho parents who feel strongly about issues from naming their children Pro-Life or Pro-Gun at birth. For that matter, Marvin Richardson has changed his name so many times that if he changes it again, the ballot might have to describe him as "a person formerly known as 'Pro-Life.'" Or he could just change his name to Mitt Romney. On the other hand, Republicans and Democrats alike can breathe a sign of relief over another unintended effect: the new law foils Larry Craig's best strategy for a comeback. Before the law, Craig could have changed his name to "Not Gay" and won in a landslide. "A person formerly known as Not Gay" is more like it. ... 5:27 p.m. (link) Friday, Mar. 28, 2008 We Are Family: Midway through the run-up to the next primary, the presidential campaigns are searching for fresh ways to reach the voters of Pennsylvania. My grandparents left Pittsburgh more than 80 years ago, so my Pennsylvania roots are distant. But I still think I can speak for at least half the state in suggesting one bold proposal we long for every April: a plan to rescue one of the most mediocre teams in baseball history, the Pittsburgh Pirates. Granted, the nation faces more urgent crises. But in hard times, people often look to sports for solace. To blue-collar workers in taverns across western Pennsylvania, watching the Pirates lose night after night is as predictably grim as the Bush economy. The lowly Bucs are the reigning disappointment in the world of sport—with a batting average that seems pegged to the dollar 99/140 and prospects of victory in line with the war in Iraq. The Pittsburgh franchise hasn't finished above .500 since 1992. If, as universally predicted, the Pirates turn in their 16th consecutive losing season this year, they will tie the all-time frustration record for professional sport set by the Philadelphia Phillies in the 1930s and '40s. Pittsburgh is still a proud, vibrant city, which has rebounded handsomely from losses far more consequential than the Pirates'. The once-proud Pirates, by contrast, show plenty of rust but no signs of recovery. In 1992, the team was an inning away from the World Series, when the Atlanta Braves scored three runs in the bottom of the ninth to steal Game 7 of the National League Championship Series. The Braves soon moved to the NL East en route to winning 14 consecutive division titles, the longest in sports history. The Pirates moved from the East to the Central and began their soon-to-be-record-setting plunge in the opposite direction. On Monday, the Pirates return to Atlanta for Opening Day against the Braves. Baseball analysts no longer give a reason in predicting another lastplace Bucco finish. This year, the Washington Post didn't even bother to come up with a new joke. Last season's Post preview said: Blech. This Pirates team is so mediocre, so uninteresting, so destined for last place, we don't know if we can squeeze another sentence out of it for this capsule we're being paid to write. But here's one. … The Pirates haven't had a winning season since 1992, and that streak will continue this year. That's still not long enough? Well, here's another line! Hey—two sentences in one line! Make that three! And here's another! See how easy that is? This year, the same Post analyst wrote: Okay, folks, here's the deal: We need to fill precisely 4.22 Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC column-inches of type with information about the faceless, tasteless Pirates, and as usual we're not sure we can do it. But guess what? We're already at .95 inches, and we're just getting started! Wait—make that 1.19 inches. ... Should they finish below .500 again (and let's be honest, how can they not?), they will tie the Phillies of 1933-48 for the most consecutive losing seasons. (By the way, that's 3.53 inches, and we haven't even had to mention new manager John Russell, Capps's promise as a closer or the vast potential of the Snell-Gorzelanny duo.) There: 4.22 inches. Piece of cake." So now the Pirates even hold the record for consecutive seasons as victims of the same bad joke. Pittsburgh faces all the challenges of a smallmarket team. Moreover, as David Maraniss pointed out in his lyrical biography, Clemente, the first love for Pittsburgh fans has long been football, not baseball. These days, no one can blame them. Seven years ago, in a desperate bid to revive the Pirates' fortunes, the city built PNC Park, a gorgeous field with the most spectacular view in baseball. From behind home plate, you can look out on the entire expanse of American economic history—from the Allegheny River to 1920s-era steel suspension bridges to gleaming glass skyscrapers. The result? As Pittsburgh writer Don Spagnolo noted last year in "79 Reasons Why It's Hard To Be a Pirates Fan," Pittsburgh now has "the best stadium in the country, soiled by the worst team." (The Onion once suggested, "PNC Park Threatens To Leave Pittsburgh Unless Better Team Is Built.") Spagnolo notes that the city already set some kind of record by hosting baseball's All-Star game in 1994 and 2006 without a single winning season in between. Although the Pirates' best player, Jason Bay, is from Canada, if Pittsburgh fans have suffered 100/140 because of trade, the blame belongs not to NAFTA but to an inept front office. Jason Schmidt, now one of the top 100 strikeout aces in history, was traded to the Giants. Another, Tim Wakefield, left for the Red Sox. Franchise player Aramis Ramirez was dealt to the Cubs. When owners sell off members of a winning team, it's called a fire sale. The Pirates have been more like a yard sale. In 2003, when the Cubs nearly made the Series, the Pirates supplied one-third of their starting lineup. never let you down, the Pittsburgh Pirates could be your team, too. ... 12:06 p.m. (link) In the early '80s, an angry fan famously threw a battery at Pirate outfielder Dave Parker. Last June, fans registered their frustration in a more constructive way. To protest more than a decade of ownership mismanagement, they launched a Web site, IrateFans.com, and organized a "Fans for Change" walkout after the third inning of a home game. Unfortunately, only a few hundred fans who left their seats actually left the game; most just got up to get beer. Conservative blogger Michael Medved of Townhall offers a long list of reasons why Craig doesn't need to go as urgently as Spitzer did. He finds Craig less hypocritical ("trolling for sex in a men's room, doesn't logically require that you support gay marriage"), much easier to pity, and "pathetic and vulnerable" in a way Spitzer is not. Liberal blogger Anonymous Is a Woman counters that while Craig and Louisiana Sen. David Vitter remain in office, at least Spitzer resigned. This year, fans are still for change but highly skeptical. In an online interview, the new team president admitted, "The Pirates are not in a rebuilding mode. We're in a building mode." One fan asked bitterly, "How many home runs will the 'change in atmosphere' hit this season?" Warning, much political baggage may look alike. So, party labels aside, who's the bigger hypocrite? Certainly, a politician caught red-handed committing the very crimes he used to prosecute can make a strong case for himself. In his resignation speech, Spitzer admitted as much: "Over the course of my public life, I have insisted, I believe correctly, that people, regardless of their position or power, take responsibility for their conduct. I can and will ask no less of myself." I've been a Pirate fan for four decades—the first glorious, the second dreary, the last two a long march from despair to downright humiliation. In more promising times, my wife proposed to me at Three Rivers Stadium, where we returned for our honeymoon. On the bright side, the 2001 implosion of Three Rivers enabled me to find two red plastic stadium seats as an anniversary present on eBay. Our children live for baseball but laugh at our Pirate caps—and, at ages 12 and 14, haven't been alive to see a winning Pirate season. Yet like so many in western Pennsylvania, I've been a Pirate fan too long to be retrained to root for somebody else. After 15 years, we Bucs fans aren't asking for miracles. We just want what came so easily to the pre-2004 Red Sox, the post-1908 Cubs, and the other great losing teams of all time: sympathy. Those other teams are no longer reliable: The Red Sox have become a dynasty; 2008 really could be the Cubs' year. If you want a lovable loser that will Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Thursday, Mar. 13, 2008 Craigenfreude: In a new high for the partisan divide, a mini-debate has broken out in far-flung corners of the blogosphere on the urgent question: Who's the bigger hypocrite, Larry Craig or Eliot Spitzer? Moreover, for all the conservative complaints about media bias, the circumstances of Spitzer's fall from grace ensure that tales of his hypocrisy will reverberate louder and longer than Craig's. Already a media star in the media capital of the world, he managed to destroy his career with a flair even a tabloid editor couldn't have imagined. Every detail of his case is more titillating than Craig's—call girls with MySpace pages and stories to tell, not a lone cop who won't talk to the press; hotel suites instead of bathroom stalls; bank rolls instead of toilet rolls; wide angles instead of wide stances; a club for emperors, not Red Carpet. Spitzer flew much closer to the sun than Craig, so his sudden plunge is the far greater political tragedy. No matter how far his dive, Craig couldn't make that kind of splash. You'll never see the headline "Craig Resigns" splashed across six 101/140 columns of the New York Times. Of course, since he refuses to resign, you won't see it in the Idaho Statesman, either. Yet out of stubborn home-state chauvinism, if nothing else, we Idahoans still marvel at the level of hypocrisy our boy has achieved, even without all the wealth, fame, and privilege that a rich New Yorker was handed on a silver platter. Many Easterners think it's easy for an Idahoan to be embarrassing—that just being from Boise means you're halfway there. We disagree. Craig didn't grow up in the center of attention, surrounded by money, glamour, and all the accouterments of hypocrisy. He grew up in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by mountains. When he got arrested, he didn't have paid help to bring him down. No Mann Act for our guy: He carried his own bags and did his own travel. Larry Craig is a self-made hypocrite. He achieved his humiliation the old-fashioned way: He earned it. Unlike Spitzer, who folded his cards without a fight, Craig upped the ante by privately admitting guilt, then publicly denying it. His lawyers filed yet another appellate brief this week, insisting that the prosecution is wrong to accuse him of making a "prehensile stare." While it's admittedly a low standard, Craig may have had his least-awful week since his scandal broke in August. A Minnesota jury acquitted a man who was arrested by the same airport sting operation. Craig didn't finish last in the Senate power rankings by Congress.org. Thanks to Spitzer, Craig can now tell folks back home that whatever they think of what he did, at least they don't have to be embarrassed by how much he spent. In fact, he is probably feeling some Craigenfreude—taking pleasure in someone else's troubles because those troubles leave people a little less time to take pleasure in your own. Like misery, hypocrisy loves company—which, for both Spitzer and Craig, turned out to be the problem. But Spitzer was right to step down, and Craig should long ago have done the same. Politics is a tragic place to chase your demons. ... 5:30 p.m. (link) Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Wednesday, Mar. 5, 2008 All the Way: As death-defying Clinton comebacks go, the primaries in Ohio and Texas were very nearly not heart-stopping enough. On Monday, public polls started predicting a Clinton rebound, threatening to spoil the key to any wild ride: surprise. Luckily, the early exit polls on Tuesday evening showed Obama with narrow leads in both do-or-die states, giving those of us in Clinton World who live for such moments a few more hours to stare into the abyss. Now that the race is once again up for grabs, much of the political establishment is dreading the seven-week slog to the next big primary in Pennsylvania. Many journalists had wanted to go home and put off seeing Scranton until The Office returns on April 10. Some Democrats in Washington were in a rush to find out the winner so they could decide who they've been for all along. As a Clintonite, I'm delighted that the show will go on. But even if I were on the sidelines, my reaction would have been the same. No matter which team you're rooting for, you've got to admit: We will never see another contest like this one, and the political junkie in all of us hopes it will never end. It looks like we could get our wish—so we might as well rejoice and be glad in it. A long, exciting race for the nomination will be good for the Democratic Party, good for the eventual nominee, and the ride of a lifetime for every true political fan. For the party, the benefits are obvious: By making this contest go the distance, the voters have done what party leaders wanted to do all along. This cycle, the Democratic National Committee was desperate to avoid the front-loaded calendar that backfired last time. As David Greenberg points out, the 2004 race was over by the first week of March—and promptly handed Republicans a full eight months to destroy our nominee. This time, the DNC begged states to back-load the calendar, even offering bonus delegates for moving primaries to late spring. Two dozen states flocked to Super Tuesday anyway. Happily, voters took matters into their own hands and gave the spring states more clout than party 102/140 leaders ever could have hoped for. Last fall, NPR ran a whimsical story about the plight of South Dakota voters, whose June 3 contest is the last primary (along with Montana) on the calendar. Now restaurateurs, innkeepers, and vendors from Pierre to Rapid City look forward to that primary as Christmas in June. But the national party, state parties, and Sioux Falls cafes aren't the only ones who'll benefit. Contrary to the conventional wisdom, the biggest beneficiaries of a protracted battle for the nomination are the two contestants themselves. Primaries are designed to be a warm-up for the general election, and a few more months of spring training will only improve their swings for the fall. summer. They didn't sign on to spend the spring in Scranton and Sioux Falls. But, like the rest of us, they wouldn't miss this amazing stretch of history for anything. ... 11:59 p.m. (link) Monday, Feb. 25, 2008 Hope Springs Eternal: With this weekend's victory in Puerto Rico and even more resounding triumph over the New York Times, John McCain moved within 200 delegates of mathematically clinching the Republican nomination. Mike Huckabee is having a good time playing out the string, but the rest of us have been forced to get on with our lives and accept that it's just not the same without Mitt. And let's face it: These two candidates know how to put on a show. Both are raising astonishing sums of money and attracting swarms of voters to the polls. Over the past month, their three headto-head debates have drawn the largest audiences in cable television history. The second half of last week's MSNBC debate was the most watched show on any channel, with nearly 8 million viewers. An astonishing 4 million people tuned in to watch MSNBC's post-debate analysis, an experience so excruciating that it's as if every person in the Bay Area picked the same night to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? Out in Salt Lake City, in an interview with the Deseret Morning News, Josh Romney leaves open the possibility that his father might get back in the race: The permanent campaign turns out to be the best reality show ever invented. Any contest that can sustain that kind of excitement is like the World Series of poker: The value of the pot goes up with each hand, and whoever wins it won't be the least bit sorry that both sides went all-in. That's not much of an opening and no doubt more of one than he intended. But from mountain to prairie, the groundswell is spreading. Endorsements are flooding in from conservative bloggers like this one: No matter how it turns out, all of us who love politics have to pinch ourselves that we're alive to see a race that future generations will only read about. Most campaigns, even winning ones, only seem historic in retrospect. This time, we already know it's one for the ages; we just don't know how, when, or whether it's going to end. Even journalists who dread spending the next seven weeks on the Pennsylvania Turnpike have to shake their heads in wonderment. In the lede of their lead story in Wednesday's Washington Post, Dan Balz and Jon Cohen referred to "the remarkable contest" that could stretch on till Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Josh Romney called speculation that his father could be back in the race as either a vice presidential candidate or even at the top of the ticket as the GOP's presidential candidate "possible. Unlikely, but possible." Mitt Romney was not my first choice for a presidential candidate, but he came third after Duncan Hunter and Fred Thompson. … I would love to see Mitt reenter the race. Even if re-entry is too much to hope for, Josh hints that another Romney comeback may be in the works. He says he has been approached about running for Congress in Utah's 2nd District. That, too, may be an unlikely trial balloon. Josh is just 32, has three young children, and would face a Democratic incumbent, Rep. Jim Matheson, who is 103/140 one of the most popular politicians in the state. Matheson's father was a governor, too. But unlike Mitt Romney, Scott Matheson was governor of Utah. If Mitt Romney has his eye on the No. 2 spot, Josh didn't do him any favors. "It's one thing to campaign for my dad, someone whose principles I line up with almost entirely," he told the Morning News. "I can't say the same thing for Sen. McCain." Even so, Romney watchers can only take heart that after a year on the campaign trail, Josh has bounced back so quickly. "I was not that upset," he says of his father's defeat. "I didn't cry or anything." In his year on the stump, Josh came across as the most down-to-earth of the Romney boys. He visited all 99 of Iowa's counties in the campaign Winnebago, the Mitt Mobile. He joked about his father's faults, such as "he has way too much energy." He let a Fox newswoman interview him in the master bedroom of the Mitt Mobile. (He showed her the air fresheners.) He blogged about the moose, salmon, and whale he ate while campaigning in Alaska—but when the feast was over, he delivered the Super Tuesday state for his dad. As Jonathan Martin of Politico reported last summer, Josh was campaigning with his parents at the Fourth of July parade in Clear Lake, Iowa, when the Romneys ran into the Clintons. After Mitt told the Clintons how many counties Josh had visited, Hillary said, "You've got this built-in campaign team with your sons." Mitt replied, to Ann's apparent dismay, "If we had known, we would've had more." We'll never know whether that could have made the difference. For now, we'll have to settle for the unlikely but possible hope that Mitt will come back to take another bow. ... 4:13 p.m. (link) Monday, Feb. 11, 2008 Face Time: When Ralph Reed showed up at a Romney fundraiser last May, Mitt thought he was Gary Bauer – perpetuating the tiresome stereotype that like some Reeds, all Christian conservatives Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC look alike. Now, in Mitt's hour of need, Ralph is returning the favor. According to the Washington Times, he and 50 other right-wing leaders met with Romney on Thursday "to discuss the former Massachusetts governor becoming the face of conservatism." Nothing against Romney, who surely would have been a better president than he let on. But if he were "the face of conservatism," he'd be planning his acceptance speech, not interviewing with Ralph Reed and friends for the next time around. Conservatives could not have imagined it would end this way: the movement that produced Ollie North, Alan Keyes, and ardent armies of true believers, now mulling over an arranged marriage of convenience with a Harvard man who converted for the occasion. George Will must be reaching for his Yeats: "Was it for this … that all that blood was shed?" For more than a year, Republican presidential candidates tried to win the Reagan Primary. Their final tableau came at a debate in the Gipper's library, with his airplane as a backdrop and his widow in the front row. It was bad enough to see them reach back 20 years to find a conservative president they could believe in, but this might be worse: Now Romney's competing to claim he's the biggest conservative loser since Reagan. If McCain comes up short like Gerald Ford, Mitt wants to launch a comeback like it's 1976. Even conservative leaders can't hide their astonishment over finding themselves in this position. "If someone had suggested a year ago and a half ago that we would be welcoming Mitt Romney as a potential leader of the conservative movement, no one would have believed it," American Conservative Union chairman David Keene reportedly told the group. "But over the last year and a half, he has convinced us he is one of us and walks with us." Conservative activist Jay Sekulow told the Washington Times that Romney is a "turnaround specialist" who can revive conservatism's fortunes. But presumably, Romney's number-crunching skills are the last thing the movement needs: there are no voters left to fire. 104/140 To be sure, Mitt was with conservatives when the music stopped. Right-wing activists who voted in the CPAC straw poll narrowly supported him over McCain, 35% to 34%. By comparison, they favored getting out of the United Nations by 57% to 42% and opposed a foreign policy based on spreading democracy by 82% to 15%. Small-government conservatism trounced social conservatism 59% to 22%, with only 16% for national-security conservatism. As voters reminded him more Tuesdays than not, Mitt Romney is not quite Ronald Reagan. He doesn't have an issue like the Panama Canal. Far from taking the race down to the wire, he'll end up third. While he's a good communicator, many voters looking for the face of conservatism couldn't see past what one analyst in the Deseret News described as the "CEO robot from Jupiter.'" If anything, Romney was born to be the face of the Ford wing of the Republican Party – an economic conservative with only a passing interest in the other two legs of Reagan's conservative stool. Like Ford, Mitt won the Michigan primary. He won all the places he calls home, and it's not his fault his father wasn't governor of more states. Romney does have one advantage. With a conservative president nearing historic lows in the polls and a presumptive nominee more intent on leading the country, heading the conservative movement might be like running the 2002 Olympics – a job nobody else wants. Paul Erickson, the Romney strategist who organized the conservative powwow, called McCain's nomination "an existential crisis for the Republican Party," and held out Mitt as a possible Messiah: "You could tell everybody at the table sitting with Romney was asking himself: 'Is he the one?'" Romney has demonstrated many strengths over the years, but impersonating a diehard conservative and leading a confused movement out of the wilderness aren't foremost among them. It might be time for the right to take up another existential question: If conservatism needs Mitt Romney and Ralph Reed to make a comeback, is there enough face left to save? ... 3:37 p.m. (link) Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Thursday, Feb. 7, 2008 Romney, We Hardly Knew Ye: When Mitt Romney launched his campaign last year, he struck many Republicans as the perfect candidate. He was a businessman with a Midas touch, an optimist with a charmed life and family, a governor who had slain the Democratic dragon in the blue state Republicans love to hate. In a race against national heroes like John McCain and Rudy Giuliani, he started out as a dark horse, but to handicappers, he was a dark horse with great teeth. When Democrats looked at Romney, we also saw the perfect candidate—for us to run against. The best presidential candidates have the ability to change people's minds. Mitt Romney never got that far because he never failed to change his own mind first. So when Romney gamely suspended his campaign this afternoon, there was heartfelt sadness on both sides of the aisle. Democrats are sorry to lose an adversary whose ideological marathon vividly illustrated the vast distance a man must travel to reach the right wing of the Republican Party. Romney fans lose a candidate who just three months ago led the polls in Iowa and New Hampshire and was the smart pick to win the nomination. With a formidable nominee in John McCain, the GOP won't be sorry. But Romney's farewell at the Conservative Political Action Committee meeting shows how far the once-mighty right wing has fallen. In an introduction laced with barbs in McCain's direction, Laura Ingraham's description of Mitt as "a conservative's conservative" said all there is to say about Romney's campaign and the state of the conservative movement. If their last, best hope is a guy who only signed up two years ago and could hardly convince them he belonged, the movement is in even worse shape than it looks. Had Romney run on his real strength—as an intelligent, pragmatic, and competent manager— his road to the nomination might have gone the way of Rudy Giuliani's. Yet ironically, his eagerness to preach the conservative gospel brought on his demise. Romney pandered with conviction. He even tried to make it a virtue, defending his 105/140 conversion on abortion by telling audiences that he would never apologize for being a latecomer to the cause of standing up for human life. Conservatives thanked him for trying but preferred the genuine article. In Iowa, Romney came in second to a true believer, and New Hampshire doesn't have enough diehards to put him over the top. Romney's best week came in Michigan, when a sinking economy gave him a chance to talk about the one subject where his party credentials were in order. In Michigan, Romney sounded like a 21stcentury version of the business Republicans who dominated that state in the '50s and '60s—proud, decent, organization men like Gerald Ford and George Romney. As he sold his plan to turn the Michigan economy around, Mitt seemed as surprised as the voters by how much better he could be when he genuinely cared about the subject. By then, however, he had been too many things to too many people for too long. McCain was authentic, Huckabee was conservative, and Romney couldn't convince enough voters he was either one. Good sport to the end, Romney went down pandering. His swansong at CPAC touched all the right's hot buttons. He blamed out-of-wedlock births on government programs, attacks on religion, and "tolerance for pornography." He got his biggest applause for attacking the welfare state, declaring dependency a culture-killing poison that is "death to initiative." Even in defeat, he gave glimpses of the Mitt we'll miss—the lovably square, Father Knows Best figure with the impossibly wholesome family and perfect life. He talked about taking "a weed-whacker to regulations." He warned that we might soon become "the France of the 21st century." He pointed out that he had won nearly as many states as McCain, but joked awkwardly with the ultraconservative audience that he lost "because size does matter." He didn't say whether we'll have the Romneys to kick around anymore. But with the family fortune largely intact and five sons to carry on the torch, we can keep hope alive. In the Salt Lake City paper this morning, a leading political scientist predicted Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC that if Democrats win the White House in 2008, Romney "would automatically be a frontrunner for 2012." It's hard to imagine a more perfect outcome. For now, sadness reigns. As the Five Brothers might say, somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout; but there is no joy in Mittville—Guy Smiley has dropped out. ... 5:42 p.m. (link) Tuesday, Feb. 5, 2008 Mittmentum: With John McCain on cruise control toward the Republican nomination, Mitt Romney finds himself in a desperate quest to rally true believers – a role for which his even temper and uneven record leave him spectacularly unsuited. Romney knows how to tell the party faithful everything they want to hear. But it's not easy for a man who prides himself on his optimism, polish, and good fortune to stir anger and mutiny in the conservative base. Only a pitchfork rebellion can stop McCain now, and Luddites won't man the ramparts because they like your PowerPoint. So far, the Republican base seems neither shaken nor stirred. McCain has a commanding 2-1 margin in national polls, and leads Romney most everywhere except California, where Mitt hopes for an upset tonight. Professional troublemakers like Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh are up in arms, trying to persuade their followers that McCain is somehow Hillary by other means. On Monday, Limbaugh did his best imitation of Romney's stump speech, dubbing Mitt the only candidate who stands for all three legs of the conservative stool. Strange bedfellows indeed: Rush-Romney is like a hot-blooded android – the first DittoheadConehead pairing in galactic history. On Saturday, Mitt Romney wandered to the back of his campaign plane and told the press, "These droids aren't the droids you're looking for." Oddly enough, that's exactly the reaction most Republicans have had to his campaign. But in the home stretch, Romney has energized one key part of his base: his own family. Yesterday, the Romney boys set a campaign record by putting up six posts on the Five Brothers blog – matching their high from when they launched last 106/140 April. Mitt may be down, but the Five Brothers are back. The past month has been grim for the happy-golucky Romney boys. They sometimes went days between posts. When they did post, it was often from states they had just campaigned in and lost. Bright spots were hard to come by. After South Carolina, Tagg found a "Romney girl" video, set to the tune of "1985," in which a smiling young Alabaman named Danielle sang of Mitt as the next Reagan. One commenter recommended raising $3 million to run the clip as a Super Bowl ad; another asked Danielle out on behalf of his own five sons. A few days later, Matt put up a clip of a computerized prank call to his dad, pretending to be Arnold Schwarzenegger – prompting a priceless exchange between robo-candidate and Terminator. Then the real Arnold spoiled the joke by endorsing the real McCain. In the run-up to Super Tuesday, however, a spring is back in the Five Brothers' step. On Sunday, Josh wrote a post about his campaign trip to Alaska. Richard Nixon may have lost in 1960 because his pledge to campaign in all 50 states forced him to spend the last weekend in Alaska. That didn't stop Josh Romney, who posted a gorgeous photo of Mount McKinley and a snapshot of some Romney supporters shivering somewhere outside Fairbanks, where the high was 13 below. He wrote, "I sampled all of the Alaskan classics: moose, salmon and whale. Oh so good." Eating whale would certainly be red meat for a liberal crowd, but conservatives loved it too. "Moose is good stuff," one fan wrote. Another supporter mentioned friends who've gone on missions abroad and "talk about eating dog, horse, cow stomach, bugs." Rush, take note: McCain was ordering room service at the Hanoi Hilton while Mitt was keeping the faith by choking down tripe in Paris. The rest of the family sounds like it's on the trail of big game as well. Ben Romney, the least prolific of the Five Brothers, didn't post from Thanksgiving through the South Carolina primary. Yesterday, he posted twice in one day – with a link to Limbaugh and a helpful guide to tonight's results, noting that in the past week members of the Romney family have campaigned in 17 of 21 states up for grabs on Super Tuesday. Now we can scientifically measure the Romney effect, by comparing the Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC results in those 17 states with the four states (Idaho, Montana, Connecticut, Arizona) no Romney visited. After Huckabee's victory in West Virginia, the early score is 1-0 in favor of no Romneys. Tagg, the team captain, also posted twice, urging the faithful to "Keep Fighting," and touting Mitt's evangelical appeal: "The Base Is Beginning to Rally." Back in June, Tagg joked with readers about who would win a family farting contest. Now he's quoting evangelical Christian ministers. The brothers are so focused on the race, they haven't even mentioned their beloved Patriots' loss, although there has been no word from young Craig, the one they tease as a Tom Brady lookalike. Of course, if the Republican race ends tonight, the inheritance Mitt has told the boys not to count on will be safe at last. By all accounts, they couldn't care less. They seem to share Tagg's easy-comeeasy-go view that no matter what happens, this will have been the best trip the family has ever taken, and this time no dogs were harmed along the way (just moose, salmon, and whale). At the moment, the Five Brothers must feel the same nostalgia to keep going that the rest of us will feel for their antics when they're gone. Back when the campaign began, Tagg joked that they would love their father win or lose, although he might become something of a national laughingstock in the meantime. Mitt did his part, but whatever happens tonight, he can be proud the firewall he cares most about – his family – has held up its end of the bargain. ... 6:15 p.m. (link) the undercover economist The Wisdom of Crowds? A single economic forecast is usually wrong. But groups of economic forecasts are often just as mistaken. Why? By Tim Harford Saturday, August 9, 2008, at 6:44 AM ET When people discover that I am an economist, they rarely ask me for my views on subjects that economists know a bit about— such as how to respond to climate change or pay less at a supermarket. Instead, they ask me what will happen to the economy. 107/140 Why is it that people won't take "I don't really know" for an answer? People often chuckle about the forecasting skills of economists, but after the snickers die down, they keep demanding more forecasts. Is there any reason to believe that economists can deliver? One answer can be gleaned from previous forecasts. Back in 1995, economist and Financial Times columnist John Kay examined the record of 34 British forecasters from 1987 to 1994, and he concluded that they were birds of a feather. They tended to make similar forecasts, and then the economy disobligingly did something else, with economic growth usually falling outside the range of all 34 forecasters. Perhaps forecasting technology has moved on since then, or the British economy is unusually unpredictable? To find out, I repeated John's exercise with forecasts for economic growth for the United Kingdom, United States, and Eurozone over the years 2002-08, diligently collected at the end of each previous year by Consensus Economics. The results are an eerie echo of John Kay's: For 2004, for example, 20 out of 21 nongovernmental forecasts made in December 2003 were too pessimistic about economic growth in the United Kingdom. The Pollyannas of the U.K. treasury were more optimistic than almost any commercial forecaster and closer getting their forecast right. So, one might suspect that systematic pessimism is to blame. But, no, in 2005, the economy grew more slowly than 19 out of 21 forecasters had expected at the end of the previous year. The Pollyannas of the U.K. treasury were yet again more optimistic than anyone and thus more wrong than anyone. A year later, all but one of the forecasters were too pessimistic again. Yet at the end of 2001, three-quarters of the forecasters were too optimistic about 2002. 2003 is an interesting anomaly: the one year for which the average U.K. forecast turned out to be close to reality but also the year where the spread between highest and lowest forecast was widest. The rare occasion that the forecasters couldn't agree happened to be the occasion on which they were (on average) right. Recent U.S. forecasters have done a little better: The spread of forecasts is tighter, and the outcome sometimes falls within that spread. Still, five out of six were too pessimistic about 2003, almost everyone was too pessimistic about 2002, three-quarters were too optimistic about 2005, and nearly nine-tenths too optimistic about 2006. Perversely, the best quantitative end-ofyear forecasts were made in December 2006, despite the fact that the credit crunch materialized eight months later to the surprise of almost everybody. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC In the Eurozone, forecasting over the past few years has been so wayward that it is kindest to say no more. The new data seem to confirm Kay's original finding that economic forecasters all tend to be wrong in the same way. Their incentives to flock together are obvious enough. What is less clear is why the flight of the flock is so often thought to augur much—but then, some astrologers are also profitably employed. The curious thing is that forecasters often have something useful to say, but it is rarely conveyed in the numerical forecast itself on which so much attention is lavished. For instance, in December 2006, forecasters were warning of the risks of an oil price spike, a sharp rise in the cost of credit, and a dollar crash. The quantitative forecasts are usually wrong and not terribly helpful when right, but forecasters do say things worth hearing, if only you can work out when to listen. today's business press Inflation Nation Friday, August 15, 2008, at 5:23 AM ET today's business press Greenspan Bites Back By Matthew Yeomans Thursday, August 14, 2008, at 6:11 AM ET The Wall Street Journal leads its business coverage with candid insight from former Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan. He foresees better news for the housing market: Home prices "are likely to start to stabilize or touch bottom sometime in the first half of 2009." But he is scathing in his view of how the Bush administration has handled the Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac mortgage mess. While bristling at criticism that he contributed to the nation's woes (he points out that world markets pushed interest rates down), Greenspan directs most of his ire at the "Here's the keys to the bank" mortgage rescue plan brokered by Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson. "They should have wiped out the shareholders, nationalized the institutions with legislation that they are to be reconstituted— with necessary taxpayer support to make them financially viable—as five or 10 individual privately held units" that could 108/140 then be auctioned off, Greenspan tells the Journal. His sharp words come as CNN Money reports nearly 25 percent of all homes sold nationwide during the last 12 months fetched less than the sellers originally paid for them and as the New York Times documents the continued decline in retail sales, "despite the booster shot of billions of dollars from the government's tax stimulus program." The NYT keeps its focus on the failing SUV beat this morning with news that Chrysler will spend $1.8 billion to convert a Detroit plant from producing Jeep Grand Cherokees to "more fuel-efficient, car-based crossovers." Speaking of off-loading underperforming models, could the Russians be about to grab control of Hummer? Reuters reports that GM has had "preliminary contact with Russian oligarch Oleg Deripaska" on a possible sale of its muscular SUV range. That surely would dent the Hummer's patriotic purchasing power. Fortune says GM (which has lost $51 billion over the last three years) might not be in the mess it is now if CEO Rick Wagoner hadn't scuttled an alliance with Renault-Nissan back in 2006. It writes that according to a "confidential analysis prepared for the deal that was obtained by Fortune, the tie-up could have produced as much as $10 billion in operating earnings per year for GM by 2011." Both the Financial Times and NYT give ink to Genentech's initial rejection of the unsolicited $43.7 billion takeover bid by Swiss majority owner Roche while noting that the California biotechnology wiz is playing hard to get. "Genentech said that a special committee of directors had found that Roche's offer of $89 a share 'substantially undervalues the company,' " writes the NYT. Roche's three biggest-selling drugs—the cancer medicines Rituxan, Herceptin, and Avastin—are produced by Genentech, and while the two connected companies once had been seen to complement each other, their businesses "have started to overlap—and at points, compete—more significantly in recent years," writes the FT. With Roche expected to sweeten the deal, a merger could open the floodgates for consolidation in the Big Pharma world between other major players like Eli Lily, Bayer, and Johnson & Johnson and their smaller, cooler biotech partners. So far today only the FT reports that JP Morgan and Morgan Stanley are close to a settlement with U.S. regulators that would involve buying back "billions of dollars worth of auction rate securities [ARS] from investors." JP Morgan's clients hold about $5 billion in ARS, while Morgan Stanley has intimated that it is willing to buy back about $4.5 billion. With Citigroup and UBS recently agreeing to buy back more than $26 billion in ARS and pay fines of $250 million, based on the general accusations that banks misrepresented these securities as liquid assets, these latest pending settlements underscore the banking industry's "desire to draw a line under a controversy that has sparked dozens of state and federal investigations and numerous lawsuits by regulators and investors," writes the FT. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Finally, with both the WSJ and NYT reporting that Paula Wagner could be about to quit as chief executive of United Artists, perhaps she might consider a career in a new growth entertainment industry for women—the Internet? A NYT advertising story cites statistics showing that "sites aimed primarily at women, from 'mommy blogs' to makeup and fashion sites, grew 35 percent last year—faster than every other category on the Web except politics." Funding, acquisitions, and ad revenue is following the female online crowd. And with Comcast recently coughing up $125 million to purchase Daily Candy, what might a Hollywood mogul achieve? today's business press Banky Panky By Matthew Yeomans Wednesday, August 13, 2008, at 6:06 AM ET As if Swiss bank UBS wasn't having a bad enough month, along comes the Financial Times with an exclusive report alleging senior execs "knew some of their bankers had acted in a way that meant they risked breaching American securities laws at least a year before the U.S. inquiries began." At issue are claims that UBS bankers advised U.S. clients on investing in securities without obtaining the necessary legal registration, part of a larger probe into whether UBS promoted tax evasion for wealthy American clients. In a 2006 letter written by UBS general counsel (and now chairman) Peter Kurer to the banker at the heart of the U.S. investigation, Kurer admitted "he had received information from a whistleblower, who had drawn attention to the problems the bank faced because of the inadequate securities registration," writes the FT. Life isn't much sweeter for compatriot bank Credit Suisse. It is close to agreeing to a $9.6 million settlement with the United Kingdom's financial watchdog after a trading scandal that prompted the bank to take a $2.7 billion write-down earlier this year. Makes you nostalgic for the days when Swiss banks were the models of discretion, no? Still, on the other side of the pond, macroeconomic seers are digesting the latest inflation figures from the United Kingdom that show consumer prices rose 4.4 percent from a year earlier, up from 3.8 percent in June. The spike marks a 16-year high, twice the inflation target set by the British government. Things are likely to get worse as the Bank of England is set to predict inflation could touch 5 percent soon. Oil, of course, has been driving consumer prices higher and finally those high prices have begun to hit home. U.S. demand for oil fell 800,000 barrels per day for the first six months of this year, according to the Energy Information Administration. That's the "sharpest drop in 26 years, compared to a year before," the BBC reports. 109/140 Crude prices at $113 a barrel would have buoyed investors were it not for more misery in the financial sector. JPMorgan shares fell 9.5 percent Tuesday, while Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc. and Wachovia Corp. fell about 12 percent on concerns expressed by JPMorgan that the U.S. housing crisis is going to get worse. The growing numbers of foreclosed homes are forcing banks to take drastic action, "shedding them at increasingly steep losses [and] potentially adding to the banking industry's red ink this year," notes the Wall Street Journal. Exacerbating the banking/mortgage/credit crisis is a breakdown in confidence in the market for securitization, "a crucial artery of modern money management," as the New York Times puts it. Demonized for seducing the banks by reducing the risk in the subprime market, securitization nevertheless remains a crucial tool of funding debt. Now, however, bond investors who have been spooked out of the mortgage market also "are becoming wary of credit card debts and auto loans," writes the NYT. News from commodity country next. The Department of Agriculture is forecasting the second-highest corn yield on record, says the NYT. U.S. farmers will produce 12.3 billion bushels this year, about 600 million bushels more than were expected earlier in the summer. The prospect of a corn blight and potential prices of $9 a bushel had pitted ethanol fuel interests against big livestock producers and "would probably have been ruinous to livestock producers and ethanol plants alike," writes the NYT. Yesterday's figures offer stability to the corn market. "We dodged a bullet," says one grain analyst. Cotton traders think they've been shot in the back, however. A March price spike has many old-school traders blaming "billions of dollars in new bets by big institutional investors for distorting prices [with] some cry[ing] market manipulation," writes the WSJ. Now the Commodity Futures Trading Commission is conducting an investigation into whether cotton prices were "artificially inflated" by neophyte speculators and whether that injection of investment caused the traditional cotton merchants to make irrational risky bets themselves. Finally, we know it's August, but is it really necessary for the NYT to write yet another "SUVs aren't selling" story? Wasn't it just five days ago that a Times editorial opined on the "thousands of secondhand S.U.V.s [that] sit unwanted and ignored in car dealerships across the land"? And wasn't it just two weeks ago that the same paper warned readers that the "fact is that not many people want your big vehicle right now"? Is it any wonder the Big Three are pulling their advertising? today's business press Andrew Cuomo, Market Savior Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC By James Ledbetter Tuesday, August 12, 2008, at 4:32 AM ET If you didn't know better, you might reasonably conclude that the top financial regulator in the United States is Andrew Cuomo. The hard-working New York State attorney general has been engaged for weeks in hardball negotiations with major banks—including UBS, Wachovia, Citigroup, and Merrill Lynch—successfully forcing them to buy back billions of auction-rate securities, on the basis that those instruments were misleadingly sold to investors. And if Cuomo doesn't like a bank's terms, he throws them right back, as the Financial Times reports today; Cuomo rejected Morgan Stanley's $4.5 billion offer as "too little, too late." New Yorkers who remember the gubernatorial career of Andrew's father, Mario, will have little trouble imagining the family gift for tough negotiations. And given how swiftly the banks seem to be getting in line, there seems to be no question that Cuomo has the authority and jurisdiction to take on global financial firms. But isn't protecting investors from alleged Wall Street fraud also a duty of the U.S. government—namely, the Securities and Exchange Commission? Yes, allows the Wall Street Journal's Heidi Moore: The SEC played a role in these deals, but "Cuomo won the headlines and took on the mantle of Savior of the Little Guy just as his predecessor, Eliot Spitzer, fell into disgrace and the SEC itself is begging for its life from a newly powerful Federal Reserve." Perhaps this is lame-duckery from outgoing SEC head Christopher Cox, but it may have lasting damage, notes Moore: "Considering how embattled the regulator is right now in both finances and reputation, count failing to get out ahead of this auction-rate securities raid as a missed opportunity for getting some credit for fighting for Main Street." Is Great Britain being squeezed by a punishing bout of inflation? That may depend on which paper you read. "Inflation set to hit 5 percent as goods prices surge," warns today's London Times headline. "Official figures confirmed that prices for U.K.manufactured products last month rose by 10.2 percent from a year earlier, marking their fastest annual pace of increase since 1986," reports the paper. That sounds bad, but somehow the WSJ isn't alarmed. Under the headline "U.K. Data Show Signs Inflation Is Easing," the WSJ argues that the 10.2 percent figure "was lower than expected," although it fails to indicate who was doing the expecting. It looks as if two more Southern California banks may be teetering on the financial edge. Downey Financial Corp and Vineyard National Bancorp "may not have enough capital to continue operations amid a surge in depositor withdrawals," Bloomberg reports. Downey, based in Newport Beach, was heavily involved in option-adjustable-rate mortgages, which make payments balloon over time and look increasingly risky. 110/140 The company lost its CEO last month, and has seen its stock shrivel from $63 a share last fall to under $2 a share on Monday. Downey has had to rely on loans from the federal government, and now Marketwatch reports that regulators are restricting aspects of Downey's business, including limits on dividends and new borrowing. We've not heard the last of the international hacking ring that prosecutors fingered last week for stealing tens of millions of credit and debit card identities. A front-page New York Times story this morning serves up chilling details from the case, notably the fact that the government's chief cooperating informant, Albert Gonzalez, was apparently profiting from illegal activity while seeming to help the government shut it down. It also notes the use of "sniffer programs" that can extract credit-card data from retailer networks even using remote access. The tools of identity theft have become so sophisticated and widespread, according to the Los Angeles Times, that the crime has become a major focus for street gangs like the Crips and the Mexican Mafia. What will be the hot-selling business book this fall? Our money is on the 976-page authorized biography of Warren Buffett (or, as USA Today spells it, "Buffet"), titled The Snowball, according to Reuters. Buffett's Berkshire Hathaway may be having a tough year, with two consecutive quarters of dropping profits. But the book, written by former insurance analyst Alice Schroeder, will focus on the long term. Its title apparently comes from a Forrest Gump-like Buffett quip: "Life is like a snowball. The really important thing is finding wet snow and a really long hill." today's business press China Beats the United States By Matthew Yeomans Monday, August 11, 2008, at 6:07 AM ET China's productivity might have shrunk a bit, what with having to close down all those factories to reduce Olympic smog, but it's a only a minor blip. As the Financial Times reports, China will overtake the U.S. next year as the world's largest producer of manufactured goods. That's four years earlier than expected, and it comes on the back of the severely weakening economy. But U.S. companies shouldn't be unduly worried, says John Engler, president of the National Association of Manufacturers, who says that "it promises both political stability for the world's largest country and continuing opportunities for the U.S. to export to, and invest in, the world's fastest-growing economy." Back at the Olympics, NBC is beating back the Internet hordes with phenomenal TV viewing figures. "More viewers tuned in to watch the first two prime-time Olympics telecasts than any Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Summer Games in a decade," writes the Wall Street Journal. It helps that NBC cast a protection order around its time-delayed TV footage, playing what the New York Times called "digital whack-a-mole" to "regulate leaks on the Web and shut down unauthorized video" of live coverage. This current triumph over the burgeoning power of the Internet could be short-lived if a NYT story on Google's ambitions is to be believed. The Times writes that content may yet be king for Google—even though the company spent years stressing that, unlike Yahoo, it had no designs to be a media company. With content-creation vehicles like Blogger, Orkut, and YouTube already under harness, Google's launch of Knol, a Wikipedialike reference tool that's a vehicle for ads—and that just happens to perform very well in Google's search listings—has media companies with an online advertising inventory worried. That's when they're not worrying about Detroit. "In the first quarter alone, the auto industry spent $414 million less on advertising than in last year's first quarter," according to another NYT report. Then there's the airlines. CNN Money reports that cash-strapped airlines are working overtime to lure advertisers onboard to target a "captive audience" with product placements on everything from tray tables to boarding passes to, yes, even airsick bags. Staying in the air for the moment, American Airlines, British Airways, and Spanish carrier Iberia are to ask the U.S. government for permission to collaborate more closely on transAtlantic flights, says the WSJ. In the face of skyrocketing fuel costs, this move would grant the three antitrust immunity, allowing them to "cooperate internationally on pricing, scheduling and marketing in ways normally deemed collusive and illegal." Don't tell Richard Branson. The chairman of Virgin Atlantic already is hopping mad over American and British Airways' planned merger. He has written to presidential contenders Barack Obama and John McCain warning that the merger "would damage transatlantic competition and mean customers lost out," the BBC reports. Even though the global retail outlook looks particularly cloudy—in the United Kingdom, big chains are losing out to Internet-savvy independents, while in the United States, new bankruptcy rules are hampering financially strapped retailers' ability to reorganize—some major traders are looking to the sky for sanctuary. The NYT reports how chains like "Wal-Mart Stores, Kohl's, Safeway and Whole Foods Market have installed solar panels on roofs of their stores to generate electricity on a large scale." It's part of a growing trend as companies seek to bolster their green credentials "by cutting back on their use of electricity from coal." But while big retail is fast becoming a renewable energy leader, this new innovation and implementation could be threatened by the failure so far of Congress to renew the federal tax credit for renewable energy. 111/140 Finally today: Apple CEO Steve Jobs is one happy man, now that iPhone users have downloaded more than 60 million "apps" from the iTunes store. While many of these mini-programs are free, Apple still has managed to make an average of $1 million a day in applications for a total of about $30 million in sales over the past month. But at least one app has not been well-received. When German developer Armin Heinrich produced the "I Am Rich" download (it cost $1,000 and displayed nothing more than a ruby image on the phone), he saw his creation as a parody of the iPhone craze. The eight people who bought it sight unseen were less impressed, and Heinrich has been "bombarded with email and phone messages, 'many of them insulting,' " the NYT writes. today's papers The Caucasus Bog By Ryan Grim Friday, August 15, 2008, at 6:09 AM ET The New York and Los Angeles Times lead with, and the Washington Post fronts, the ongoing war between Russia and Georgia and its impact on Russia-U.S. relations. The Wall Street Journal tops its world-wide newsbox with the conflict, giving its lead space to the worsening global economy. The Washington Post leads with, and all but USA Today front, the anticipated resignation of Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf. Facing formal impeachment charges Monday, Washington's friend in Islamabad is plotting an exit strategy, aides told reporters across the globe. USA Today leads with an "egregious loophole" that allows big donors to fund the parties' political conventions, complete with a list of the most generous, and fronts a huge photo of Michael Phelps, who won his sixth gold early this morning. USAT fronts a scoop on Iraqi elections, quoting Iraq's top voting regulator, who decries voter-intimidation tactics by the Shiite majority that include raiding voting registration centers. The head of a group of former insurgents who took part in the Sunni Awakening—credited with a significant chunk of the downturn of violence—says that the government fears losing power through the ballot box. The papers focus on the impact of the Russian-Georgian conflict on U.S.-Russia relations, with Defense Secretary Robert Gates saying the latter's behavior "called into question the entire premise" of the relationship. The U.S. and Poland hastily signed an agreement to base missiles in Poland, a move that Russia strongly objects to, the threat of which may have contributed to its decision to invade Georgia. The U.S. denied that the announced agreement had anything to do with the ongoing conflict and said that the missiles were only meant to defend Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC against "rogue" countries—by which it apparently doesn't mean to include Russia. Musharraf, reports the Post, hoped until recently that the military would back his continuation in power, but military leaders told him privately they wouldn't get involved, and his political support continued to erode. Bush officials tell the Post that even Vice President Cheney, a principal backer of Musharraf, has conceded it's time for him to go, leaving one of the few undecided voices in the White House belonging to President Bush, who values Musharraf as an ally. "The vast majority of the U.S. government has moved beyond their original attachment to Musharraf," one official says. The Journal sounds pessimistic, reporting up high that, with news that the euro zone's economy retracted this past quarter, "four of the world's five biggest economies—the U.S., the euro zone, Japan and the U.K.—are now flirting with recession." (Hint: The fifth is hosting the Olympics.) The downturn isn't all bad for the United States, whose dollar is strengthened as the other economies sag, reports the Journal. But that strength, along with the ailing overseas economies, hits the United States in its one remaining bright side: exports. TP loves obscure stats that give a snapshot of a world trend, and the Journal obliges, offering up the Baltic Dry Index, which is a measure of demand for shipping services. It has fallen 37 percent since hitting a record high on May 20. Meanwhile, consumer-price inflation at home jumped to its highest level in 17 years, 5.6 percent. Throw out food and oil price increases—good luck with that in reality—and it's 2.5 percent. And the stimulus checks have been spent, as consumer spending dipped in July. In a letter to clients, JPMorgan blames the U.S. economy for dragging the world down with it. If all the numbers don't bring it home, the Journal makes sure the real-world impact is clear. "Cains Beer Co., Liverpool, England, has seen revenues at the 100 pubs it owns suffer as consumers cut spending. The cost of making beer at the 150year-old brewer increased as the price of hops shot up. It also faced a 40% increase in the cost of aluminum for beer cans over the past year or so," it notes. Because of the credit crunch, no banks would extend loans to the brewer, and it's now liquidating its nonliquid assets to pay off debts. The Journal fronts a pushback against Russian charges that it invaded Georgia in response to "genocide," essentially calling the claim untrue. Speculator speculation increased, reported on the WSJ's page C1, on word that commercial speculators' role in the oil market was bigger than previously thought—accounting for 49 percent of the trading rather than 38 percent, as the futures-trading 112/140 regulator had previously said. The revision is fuel on a firey debate within the agency regarding speculators' responsibility for the upturn in price and the regulators' responsibility to lasso such trading. The piece is accompanied by a graphic showing speculative bets doubling over the past year. The Washington Post goes inside with a story on China's empty "protest pens"—designated areas, perhaps modeled after the U.S. versions that now accompany political conventions—where dissent is officially tolerated. U.S. activists have given them the Orwellian name "freedom cages." In China, though, the government doesn't seem quite ready to allow such symbolic demonstrations, even fenced in: No one has showed up to the cages, and Post reporters have been unable to find many wouldbe demonstrators who had the stones to apply for permits to protest. The Post fronts a look at how some young evangelical Christians are facing doubts, not about God but about the GOP. The paper sites a Pew survey showing that young evangelicals now identify more closely with Democrats and independents than with Republicans, a sharp difference from 2001. "When you look at the political party that has traditionally championed poverty, social justice and care for the least of these, it's not been the Republican Party," one 25-year-old evangelical told the Post. He said the Obama campaign reached out to him personally when he earlier called on evangelicals to acknowledge the reality of climate change, but he said that he hasn't decided how to vote yet. The U.S. won gold and silver in the women's gymnastics allaround finals, as Western reporters continued to uncover evidence of the underage status of several allegedly 16-year-old athletes. It's tougher to scrub those Internets than you might think, China. today's papers Midnight Plane to Georgia By Daniel Politi Thursday, August 14, 2008, at 6:35 AM ET The Los Angeles Times, New York Times, and the Wall Street Journal's world-wide newsbox lead with President Bush announcing that U.S. military ships and planes would be sent to Georgia to help deliver humanitarian aid to the war-torn country. Bush also announced that Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice would travel to Georgia and "convey America's unwavering support for Georgia's democratic government." The moves came as Bush criticized Russia for failing to abide by the cease-fire agreement and continuing its military campaign into Georgia, Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC where it has taken control of the city of Gori. "Russia must keep its word and act to end this crisis," Bush said. The Washington Post leads with news that Mark Warner, the former governor of Virginia, will deliver the keynote address at the Democratic National Convention in Denver. The paper sees this as a sign that the current governor, Timothy Kaine, is unlikely to be selected as Barack Obama's running mate because it would mean that two Virginians would have prime-time speaking slots on two successive days. USA Today leads with the head of the House Homeland Security Committee saying that a program designed to find problems in the airport screening process is "a waste of money" because undercover agents fail to record why they were allowed to go through with forbidden items. The Transportation Security Administration disputes the assessment and says the tests have resulted in new technology and the implementation of better screening practices. Bush's words in the Rose Garden amounted to the strongest warning to Russia that its actions could have consequences, and many saw it as an answer to conservative critics who say the administration's initial response was lukewarm at best. The LAT notes that many within the administration "were dismayed" that Bush first sent only a mid-level State Department official to Georgia because "Russia watches such signals closely." Before touching down in Tbilisi, Rice will travel to France and meet with President Nicolas Sarkozy to lend a hand to the negotiations between Russia and Georgia. The WP notes inside that Bush's mix of "strong rhetoric with modest action," along with his administration's failure to outline what would be the consequences for Russia if it doesn't stop its campaign, highlights just how few options the United States has to deal with the current conflict. The NYT points out that although Georgia's president at first said the announcement meant that U.S. troops would help protect the country's airports and ports, the Pentagon quickly said that was not the case. Military officials have taken pains to emphasize that the U.S. service members would be there only to oversee the delivery of aid. But a Pentagon official tells the NYT their goals are more than altruistic, as the relief effort is meant "to show to Russia that we can come to the aid of a European ally, and that we can do it at will, whenever and wherever we want." Cold War imagery was everywhere yesterday, as U.S. and Georgian officials repeatedly mentioned the 1968 invasion of Czechoslovakia. ("This is not 1968 … where Russia can invade its neighbor, occupy a capital, overthrow a government and get away with it," Rice said. "Things have changed.") Even if the American service members will only be helping to deliver humanitarian aid, it still means that it will "put U.S. and Russian military forces in close proximity amid an ongoing conflict," notes the WSJ, which specifies that this is "a rare event even in the decades when the U.S. faced off against the Soviet Union around the world." 113/140 The LAT and WSJ both front separate dispatches from Gori, where Georgians said that bandits and militias from South Ossetia entered the city with Russian troops and proceeded to roam the streets, loot homes, and rob anyone who crossed their path. No one is clear on what Russia's goal was with the incursion into Gori, but like so much of this conflict, some think it was all symbolic. "Wednesday may have been one last swipe of humiliation for a defeated Georgia, a final reminder of Russia's military superiority," says the LAT. The WP also notes that Human Rights Watch says "numerous houses" in ethnic Georgian villages in South Ossetia were looted and burnt down. The NYT's dispatch from Gori focuses on the Russian soldiers who had a "strong sense of satisfaction" yesterday after easily occupying the city. Russia's military suffered much humiliation after the Soviet Union collapsed, but the conflict in Georgia "seems to have restored a sense of confidence among its officers." League lawyer who sees himself as someone who can unite members of different parties. The NYT's Andrew Kramer received a copy of the six-point cease-fire deal that Sarkozy negotiated with the Russians that included handwritten changes that the Georgians had asked for but did not receive (available here). The NYT says that the deal not only failed to stop the Russian troops but, in fact, "also allowed Russia to claim that it could push deeper into Georgia as part of so-called additional security measures it was granted in the agreement." When negotiating with Sarkozy, Russia demanded that a point be included to grant the country's military the right to act as peacekeepers even outside the separatist regions until a system of international monitors could be implemented. Georgia wanted a clear timeline to establish when these "peacekeeping" operations would end, but Russia refused. In the WP's op-ed page, Saakashvili writes that the events of the last few days showed that the "Russian leadership cannot be trusted" and "[o]nly Western peacekeepers can end the war." After Russia invaded with such strong force, Georgia's government tried to negotiate a deal with Moscow, but Russian officials ignored their pleas for a cease-fire. "I have staked my country's fate on the West's rhetoric about democracy and liberty," writes Saakashvili. "We cannot allow Georgia to become the first victim of a new world order as imagined by Moscow." The WP's Charles Krauthammer writes that Prime Minister Vladimir Putin's "real objective" in the conflict "is the Finlandization of Georgia" by replacing the current president with "a Russian puppet." Krauthammer argues that one point that has been ignored about the cease-fire deal is that it leaves most of the important decisions for the future and would require negotiations between Russia and Georgia. The problem is that Russia refuses to talk to Saakashvili, which means that "regime change becomes the first requirement" before any progress can be achieved. Speaking of Putin, the WP notes inside that the conflict with Georgia has made it clear who is really in charge of the Russian government. Although this was widely known before, "the events of the past five days wiped away any pretense that President Dmitry Medvedev runs the country." Even as the WP says that Kaine's chances of being selected as Obama's vice president appeared to dim, the NYT goes inside with a profile of the Virginia governor and says the campaign is eyeing him as a potential choice for the No. 2 slot. The NYT and WP note that the problem with Kaine is that he seems to mirror Obama too much, since he's an inexperienced, charismatic, Ivy Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC The LAT fronts word that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi might give in to pressure from fellow Democrats and put forward legislation that would allow new offshore drilling as part of a broader energy package. Pelosi has long opposed offshore drilling, but several Democrats who face a steep battle for reelection in November have been asking her to reconsider and allow the issue to come up for a vote. One measure currently under consideration would allow states to decide whether they want drilling off their coasts while also keeping the ban in place for the Pacific Coast. But this offshore drilling measure would likely be included only if some Democratic priorities, such as a repeal of tax breaks for oil companies, are also added to the mix, which makes it less likely that Republicans would support the legislation. John McCain writes an opinion piece for the WSJ titled "We Are All Georgians," in which he advocates for the creation of an international peacekeeping force in the separatist regions. But it's difficult to get past the first sentence: "For anyone who thought that stark international aggression was a thing of the past, the last week must have come as a startling wake-up call." today's papers Message Received By Daniel Politi Wednesday, August 13, 2008, at 7:04 AM ET The New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, and the Wall Street Journal's world-wide newsbox all lead with Georgia and Russia agreeing to a provisional cease-fire after five days of war in which Moscow successfully reasserted its power over the region. "The aggressor has been punished," Russian President Dmitry Medvedev said. After French President Nicolas Sarkozy secured Medvedev's signature in the cease-fire agreement, Georgia's president, Mikheil Saakashvili, announced he accepted the general terms of the plan. But it's still far from clear whether the fighting has actually stopped. The WP goes 114/140 high with claims that Russia continued its bombing campaign even after Saakashvili made his announcement. USA Today leads with word that the Transportation Security Administration had been collecting the information of passengers who showed up at airport checkpoints without identification and adding them to a database of people who violated security laws. At first, the head of TSA justified the program saying that potential terrorists might be trying to figure out security weaknesses at certain airports. The program began in late June and apparently stopped yesterday after USAT inquired about it. Early-morning wire stories report that, at least for now, the fighting in Georgia continues. The head of the country's national security council said that about 50 Russian tanks entered the Georgian city of Gori this morning. Still, the papers say that by merely accepting the cease-fire deal Russia appears to be stopping short of a full-on invasion of Georgia to overthrow Saakashvili's government. Even if Moscow doesn't manage to get rid of a neighboring leader it clearly despises, "Russia has achieved its goals," says the NYT. The LAT agrees and says that according to most analysts, the peace proposal "left no doubt that Russia won the military conflict of the last several days." Under the agreement, troops from both countries are supposed to return to their prewar positions, but the WSJ notes there were hints in South Ossetia yesterday that the Russian army "isn't leaving soon." And the peace plan leaves open the question of what will happen with the separatist regions of South Ossetia and Abkhazia. The LAT says that after all is said and done, it is likely that Georgia will end up giving up its claims to the two regions. But diplomats aren't thinking that far ahead for now and are trying to get the fighting to stop first so that detailed negotiations can follow. While Georgia has often been cast in the last few days as the poor victim of Russian aggression, some of the papers say that Western officials are placing some blame on Georgia's leaders for launching a military operation in South Ossetia without weighing the consequences. Russian officials say Georgian troops killed 2,000 people, a figure that no one can confirm and analysts believe has been inflated to support Moscow's contention that Saakashvili is guilty of war crimes. The WSJ takes a look at some of the long-term repercussions of the conflict and notes it has created a significant setback to Western efforts to create new routes for oil and gas that bypass Russian control. The WP says that while Russia denies it tried to hit an oil pipeline that crosses Georgia, "craters were visible around the pipeline." Georgian officials say their country has suffered hundreds of millions of dollars in damages. And even after all the damage has been repaired, "the brief war has dented Georgia's reputation as a secure energy corridor," says the WSJ. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC In a separate Page One piece, the LAT says that it "took just five days of war to deal a shattering blow to Georgia's collective psyche." Georgians were just starting to let go of the idea that they were under constant threat from their northern neighbor, and many thought their newly formed friendship with the United States would help them in a time of crisis. Instead, "they found themselves alone—and facing Moscow's wrath." At times, it seemed as though Moscow was just showing off its military might by, for example, quickly overtaking towns in Georgia and then leaving. (On Monday, Slate's Fred Kaplan said it's "infuriating" that the Bush administration convinced Georgia that "if they got into a firefight with Russia, the Americans would bail them out.") As much as Georgians might have a new sense of vulnerability, many believe that Russia's response to Georgia's military operation was just an excuse to send a message. "I think this was aimed much more to the West, more to Ukraine, Central Asia and the other Caucasus states," a Russia analyst tells the LAT. Case in point, the WSJ reports that the Polish prime minister said yesterday that his country would need more security guarantees from the United States if it's going to risk angering Russia by hosting a U.S. missile-defense shield. Besides the obvious geopolitical implications of the GeorgiaRussia conflict, the NYT notes another reason why the war has been historic: "[I]t was the first time a known cyberattack had coincided with a shooting war." Georgia's Internet infrastructure began to suffer attacks as early as July 20, and that may have been a mere "dress rehearsal for an all-out cyberwar once the shooting started." Experts say this trend will continue if for no other reason than it's an extremely cheap way to disrupt a country. Of course, the Russian government denies that it was behind the cyberattacks. Everyone mentions news that superstar swimmer Michael Phelps continues on track to break the record for most gold medals in the history of the Olympics—"two more races, two more gold medals, two more world records, cue the yawns," summarizes the WP. In his short life, Phelps has now won a total of 11 gold medals, which is already a record. Meanwhile, NBC has been profiting handsomely from Phelps' success. Predictions that NBC's nearly $1 billion gamble to air the games wouldn't pay off have so far been proved wrong as the Beijing Olympics have had the best numbers for any summer games since Atlanta in 1996, notes the LAT on Page One. The LAT adds that although many worried the ubiquity of online video would turn people away from the NBC coverage, it seems the constant online presence of the games only helps feed the Olympics addiction. The WSJ isn't as optimistic and notes that the remaining 12 days of the Olympics "will reveal how much of this initial success has to do with 1) Michael Phelps; and 2) Michael Phelps broadcast live." Swimming will be over next week, when attention will switch to track and field, where the 115/140 athletes aren't as well-known and the events won't be broadcast live. In the run-up to the Olympics, there was lots of talk about how China wanted to put its best face forward for the games. Turns out that was literally true. The NYT fronts, and everyone mentions, the revelation that the girl who supposedly sang "Ode to the Motherland" during the opening ceremonies was actually lip-synching, and the voice heard around the world belonged to another girl who was deemed not cute enough for the cameras. "We combined the perfect voice and the perfect performance," a musical director for the opening ceremony said. "The audience will understand that it's in the national interest." today's papers Russian Roulette By Ben Whitford Tuesday, August 12, 2008, at 6:12 AM ET All the papers lead with the continuing crisis in the Caucasus, where Russia yesterday stepped up its advance into Georgian territory, opening a second front in the four-day-old war. The Washington Post reports that Russian tank columns left separatist-controlled strongholds and crossed into undisputed Georgian territory, seizing a town and a military base in the west of Georgia and advancing on the central town of Gori. USA Today reports that the country's president, Mikheil Saakashvili, called for immediate international intervention "to prevent the fall of Georgia." The New York Times and the Wall Street Journal both focus on European and American efforts to adjust to "a new geopolitical game," presenting Moscow's aggression as a bid to turn back the clock to a time when Russia's regional hegemony went unchallenged. In a conference call, a senior U.S. government official explicitly compared the conflict to Soviet-era invasions of Afghanistan and Czechoslovakia. The Los Angeles Times reports that President Bush gave an unusually blunt address in the Rose Garden, demanding that Russia halt its "dramatic and brutal" invasion; he did not, however, offer any indication of what action he would take if Moscow did not comply. Russia's first military forays into Georgia proper marked a major escalation of the regional conflict, forcing Georgian troops to retreat toward the country's capital, Tbilisi, and prompting thousands of residents to flee their homes. According to Georgian sources, by late last night invading troops had come within 40 miles of Tbilisi. Russian officials denied the reports, and it remained unclear whether Moscow would withdraw or press on and seek to depose Georgia's elected leaders. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Moscow's aggression highlighted splits in the international community: The WSJ reports that the United Nations failed to agree on a draft resolution calling for a cease-fire, while several European nations expressed only muted criticism of Russia's actions. President Bush, by contrast, issued a robust statement branding the invasion "unacceptable in the 21st century"; still, as the LAT points out, the U.S. has ruled out direct military intervention and is highly unlikely to push for economic sanctions. Both the NYT and the WSJ front pieces eyeing Vladimir Putin's role in the crisis. The former Russian president still appears to be pulling the strings in the Kremlin: On the eve of the conflict he met with President Bush in Beijing while his successor, President Dmitri Medvedev, took a holiday cruise along the Volga River. It's tempting, therefore, to view the conflict solely in terms of Putin's personal psychodrama: a reassertion of Russian power in a bid to heal old and humiliating wounds. The WSJ's editorial board goes further, arguing that Putin, drunk on oil wealth, now harbors Napoleonic ambitions for dominance across Eurasia. Writing in the Post, former Soviet president Mikhail Gorbachev mounts a spirited defense of Russia's actions: "The Georgian military attacked the South Ossetian capital of Tskhinvali with multiple rocket launchers designed to devastate large areas," he writes. "Russia had to respond. To accuse it of aggression against 'small, defenseless Georgia' is not just hypocritical but shows a lack of humanity." It's true, of course, that Georgia is far from blameless. The NYT profiles the country's "headstrong and reckless" president, while the LAT argues that the war is in part the product of Saakashvili's failure to weigh the cost of thumbing his nose at his northern neighbor. That reflects poorly on the Bush administration, notes the WSJ: President Bush apparently gave Saakashvili unrealistic expectations about the support he could expect from the West, and State Department officials failed to convince the Georgian leader to show restraint. Back home, John McCain is trying to milk the Georgian conflict: The GOP nominee has long advocated a hard-line approach to Moscow and continued to talk tough yesterday. Conservative pundit Jonah Goldberg, writing for the LAT, argues that Obama was caught off-balance by the crisis; in fact, the NYT notes, the Obama and McCain camps remain on virtually the same page, with both candidates calling for the U.N. to order a cease-fire and for an international peacekeeping force to be sent to the disputed region. Elsewhere, the Post off-leads with word that the Bush administration is planning an overhaul of the Endangered Species Act that would allow federal agencies to decide unilaterally whether or not government actions would harm vulnerable species. The move, reported inside by the other 116/140 papers, would effectively scrap the independent scientific reviews that have been an integral part of the Act for more than three decades. Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe appears to be edging toward a power-sharing deal with opposition leader Morgan Tsvangerai, two months after government-sponsored violence ended any hope of free and fair elections. Details remain hazy, but the WSJ reports that Mugabe said only "little hurdles" remained. Any deal would be a coup for South African premier Thabo Mbeki, who has been mediating between the two sides. A day after winning Olympic gold in the 4x100-meter freestyle relay—thanks to a "swim for the ages" from teammate Jason Lezak—Michael Phelps shaved almost a second off his own 200-meter freestyle world record en route to his third gold of the Games. With swimming records tumbling across the board, the NYT ponders the ways in which technological advances— streamlined body-suits, less wave-prone pools, nonskid starting blocks—are changing the nature of competitive swimming. Some things will never change, though: The LAT reports that Phelps' celebratory dancing, of which we'll likely be seeing plenty more over the next few days, appears to be genetically hardwired, bearing a remarkable similarity to victory displays seen in chimps and gorillas. war stories Lonely Night in Georgia The Bush administration's feckless response to the Russian invasion. By Fred Kaplan Monday, August 11, 2008, at 5:47 PM ET It is impossible to think about the Russian assault on Georgia without feeling like a heartless bastard or a romantic fool. Should we just let Vladimir Putin and Dmitry Medvedev roll their tanks into Tbilisi in recognition of Moscow's sphere of influence—and let a fledgling democracy die? Or should we rally sanctions, send arms, and mobilize troops—none of which is likely to have any effect? Is there some third way, involving a level of diplomatic shrewdness that the Bush administration has rarely mustered and, in this case, might not have the legitimacy to pursue? Regardless of what happens next, it is worth asking what the Bush people were thinking when they egged on Mikheil Saakashvili, Georgia's young, Western-educated president, to apply for NATO membership, send 2,000 of his troops to Iraq as a full-fledged U.S. ally, and receive tactical training and weapons from our military. Did they really think Putin would sit by and see another border state (and former province of the Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Russian empire) slip away to the West? If they thought that Putin might not, what did they plan to do about it, and how firmly did they warn Saakashvili not to get too brash or provoke an outburst? It's heartbreaking, but even more infuriating, to read so many Georgians quoted in the New York Times—officials, soldiers, and citizens—wondering when the United States is coming to their rescue. It's infuriating because it's clear that Bush did everything to encourage them to believe that he would. When Bush (properly) pushed for Kosovo's independence from Serbia, Putin warned that he would do the same for pro-Russian secessionists elsewhere, by which he could only have meant Georgia's separatist regions of Abkhazia and South Ossetia. Putin had taken drastic steps in earlier disputes over those regions—for instance, embargoing all trade with Georgia—with an implicit threat that he could inflict far greater punishment. Yet Bush continued to entice Saakashvili with weapons, training, and talk of entry into NATO. Of course the Georgians believed that if they got into a firefight with Russia, the Americans would bail them out. Bush pressed the other NATO powers to place Georgia's application for membership on the fast track. The Europeans rejected the idea, understanding the geo-strategic implications of pushing NATO's boundaries right up to Russia's border. If the Europeans had let Bush have his way, we would now be obligated by treaty to send troops in Georgia's defense. That is to say, we would now be in a shooting war with the Russians. Those who might oppose entering such a war would be accused of "weakening our credibility" and "destroying the unity of the Western alliance." This is where the heartless bastard part of the argument comes in: Is Georgia's continued control of Abkhazia and South Ossetia really worth war with Russia? Is its continued independence from Moscow's domination, if it comes to that, worth our going to war? At this point, the neocons would enter the debate—in fact some, like Robert Kagan, already have—by invoking the West's appeasement of Hitler's annexation of the Sudetenland in 1938. ("A quarrel in a faraway country between people of whom we know nothing," is how Neville Chamberlain famously, and catastrophically, brushed away the aggression.) A few counterquestions for those who rise to compare every nasty leader to Hitler and every act of aggression to the onset of World War III: Do you really believe that Russia's move against Georgia is not an assertion of control over "the near abroad" (as the Russians call their border regions), but rather the first step of a campaign to restore the Warsaw Pact in Eastern Europe and, from there, bring back the Cold War's Continental standoff? If so—if this really is the start of a new war of civilizations—why aren't you devoting every waking hour to pressing for the revival 117/140 of military conscription, for a war surtax to triple the military budget, and—here's a twist—for getting out of Iraq in order to send a few divisions right away to fight in the larger battle? If not, what exactly are you proposing? The same question can be asked of the Bush administration. Vice President Dick Cheney reportedly called Saakashvili on Sunday to assure him that "Russian aggression must not go unanswered." We should all be interested to know what answer he is preparing or whether he was just dangling the Georgians on another few inches of string. The U.S. ambassador to the United Nations, Zalmay Khalilzad, told the Security Council, "This is completely unacceptable and crosses a line." Talk like that demands action. What's the plan, and how does he hope to get the Security Council—on which Russia has veto power—to approve it? Regardless of which side started this conflict, and quite apart from its tangled roots (read this and this, for starters), the crisis holds a few clear lessons for the next American president. First, security commitments are serious things; don't make them unless you have the support, desire, and means to follow through. Second, Russia is ruled by some nasty people these days, but they are not Hitler or Stalin, and they can't be expected to tolerate direct challenges from their border any more than an American president could from, say, Cuba. (This is not to draw any moral equations, only to point out basic facts.) Third, the sad truth is that—in part because the Cold War is over, in part because skyrocketing oil prices have engorged the Russians' coffers—we have very little leverage over what the Russians do, at least in what they see as their own security sphere. And our top officials only announce this fact loud and clear when they issue ultimatums that go ignored without consequences. In the short term, if an independent Georgia is worth saving, the Russians need some assurances—for instance, a pledge that Georgia won't be admitted into NATO or the European Union— in exchange for keeping the country and its elected government intact. (Those who consider this "appeasement" are invited to submit other ideas that don't lead either to Georgia's utter dismantlement or to a major war.) If a newly expansive Russia is worth worrying about (and maybe it is), then it's time to bring back Washington-Moscow summitry. Relations have soured so intensely in recent years and over such peripheral issues (such as basing a useless missiledefense system in the Czech Republic) that a new president—not just his secretary of state, but the president himself—could do worse than sit down with Medvedev and/or Putin, if just to lay Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC out issues of agreement and disagreement and then go from there. It's staggering that no such talks have taken place so far this century. In the long term, the best way to take Russia down a notch (along with Iran, Venezuela, and other hostile powers overflowing with oil money) is to pursue policies and fund technologies that slash the demand for oil. The Georgia crisis should make clear, if it isn't already, that this is a matter of hardheaded national security. well-traveled Eco-Touring in Honduras What can we learn from the mysterious collapse of the Mayan civilization? By Elisabeth Eaves Friday, June 6, 2008, at 10:27 AM ET From: Elisabeth Eaves Subject: Island Dreams Posted Monday, June 2, 2008, at 1:52 PM ET Colonia Balfate and Colonia Policarpo Galindo are not in the guidebooks, and for good reason. They are conjoined shantytowns that spill upward along two steep tropical gullies into the green jungle above. A few of the 2,300 residents have homes made of cinder block or cement, but the rest make do with scavenged wood planks, corrugated tin, or sheets of plastic. Tawny dirt roads, raw as open wounds and lined with garbage, climb sharply from the entrance to the settlement. Water delivery to the community is sporadic, residents lack a sewage system or a health clinic, and neighbors complain that the colonias are crime-ridden. In March, the owner of a nearby botanical garden called them "a haven for thieves and robbers" in the local press after two hikers were robbed on his grounds. Balfate and Policarpo Galindo are among the faces of modern tourism. These fast-growing slums are located not on the outskirts of some Third World city but on a resort-dotted island in the Caribbean—one peddling sun, sea, and piña colada dreams to a richer, colder world. Here on Roatán, one of the Bay Islands of Honduras, direct flights from the United States are on the rise, a new ferryboat speeds crossings to the mainland, and cruise-ship traffic is ramping up. A terminal slated to open in 2009 will be able to handle 7,000 cruise-ship passengers a day. Cement trucks, feeding a construction boom in new hotels, rumble along the two-lane jungle road that serves as the island's main thoroughfare. As tourism grows, though, the island is killing off the flora and fauna that lured the foreigners in the first 118/140 place while failing to enrich many Hondurans. From cruise shipper to backpacker, every traveler who sets foot on the island, including me, is contributing to this process. I came to Honduras hoping to unravel some of the effects of travel—because I travel and don't intend to stop and because, as a child of my time, I'm cursed with the burden of knowing I live in a planet-sized web of cause and effect. I can't abstain from this web anymore than a butterfly can refrain from moving its wings, but I feel drawn, nevertheless, to follow a few of its strands. We hear a lot about eco-tourism these days, a term rendered nearly meaningless by travel-industry hype, but which the International Ecotourism Society defines as "responsible travel to natural areas that conserves the environment and improves the welfare of local peoples." That's the kind of definition that begs more questions: Improves how much? Which local people? But it's safe to say that the businesses and well-meaning organizations promoting eco-tourism agree on one thing: If developing countries conserve their natural areas, revenue from tourism can make up for foregone income from other uses of the same land, such as logging, fishing, and farming. That income, in turn, will reinforce the will to conserve. Often, though, this theory isn't borne out in real life. Consider Ecuador's Galápagos Islands, long the poster child for eco-travel, now turning into an eco-disaster. Between 1999 and 2005, the islands' GDP grew by a stunning 78 percent, two-thirds of which was due to tourism, according to a new study by J. Edward Taylor of the University of California, Davis. But individual welfare barely improved. GDP per head grew by a paltry 1.8 percent in the same period because the islands' population— drawn by the business engine of eco-tourism—grew by 60 percent. That ballooning population is taking an ever-higher toll on the fragile ecosystem. In addition to being endowed with fertile jungle and turquoise sea, Honduras is a good testing ground for eco-tourism's central proposition. It's poor. It wants tourism, or indeed anything that will supplement an economy based on remittance payments, maquiladoras, and fruit. There appears to be an official will to conserve: The government has designated, at least on paper, 107 protected areas in which hunting and development are either limited or banned outright. Together, they make up an impressive 24 percent of Honduran territory and are home to endangered creatures, like the howler monkey and the manatee, and spectacular ones, like the scarlet macaw. My plan was to visit several of the national parks, meeting up with my parents along the way and ending our trip at the ancient Mayan ruins of Copán. On a map published by the government-affiliated Honduras Institute of Tourism, nearly the entire 80-square-mile island of Roatán is part of a national marine park. But a staffer at a local Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC conservation organization told me that while that was the plan, it wasn't actually the case. At the moment, only eight miles of shoreline, stretching little more than a mile out to sea, are officially protected. Diving in that area earlier in the day, I had seen a hawksbill turtle, two and a half feet long, beating its flippers as it glided by like a prehistoric shadow. The hawksbill—locally called carey— is critically endangered, still hunted for its dark-and-light patterned shell. Some locals make jewelry out of it—a barefoot man had already tried to sell me a carey necklace on the beach. "One of the sad side effects of the tourism and cruise-ship industry is that it has generated a lot of illegal activity," said James Foley, director of research and development for Roatán Marine Park, which maintains a tiny beachfront office in the village of West End. The colonias, a handful of which are scattered around the island, are another disturbing side effect. "See those houses?" Rosa Danelia Hendrix asked me, gesturing to some 15 shacks scattered high on the hills, the latest expansions to Balfate and Policarpo Galindo. We were standing in the yard of the three-room yellow schoolhouse where she is principal. "Three months ago, they weren't there. They don't have septic tanks. When the rains come, the waste will run down the hill and cause diseases," she said. The human waste, garbage, and sediment from the torn-up jungle also wash into the sea and onto nearby coral reefs, which are inside the supposed eight-mile protected area and which are home to hawksbills, bottlenose dolphins, and myriad fish. The sediment reduces the amount of sunlight that reaches the coral, killing it, which, in turn, slowly kills the fish that live there. The residents of the colonias come to the island from mainland Honduras because the tourism boom shimmers with the illusion of plentiful, well-paid jobs. "The island dream," mainlanders call it. "They confront reality when they realize they don't speak English, or don't have construction skills, and they can't get good jobs," Hendrix said. To leave the colonias, I hopped in a minibus, and in 10 minutes I was back in West End, which is far from swanky but still a world away. It was my own island dream: a single dirt road running along a palm-fringed waterfront, lined with low-key restaurants, hotels, and dive shops. I stepped into an open-air beach bar called Sundowners and ordered a piña colada, and in no time the man on the next stool was telling me he hadn't paid federal taxes since 1967. The bar filled up, and as the sun moved closer to the sea, everyone turned to watch. It slipped over the edge of the earth, streaks of orange and pink filled the sky, and the black silhouette of a cruise ship sailed across the horizon. 119/140 From: Elisabeth Eaves Subject: Beware, Shark Posted Tuesday, June 3, 2008, at 7:14 AM ET Not so much swimming as hovering, I slipped into the school of sharks. There were 18 of them, some as long as 8 feet. "These are big girls," the dive master had warned us; many were pregnant and thicker than usual. They swam above, below, and around me, so close I could have reached out and touched them. The dive master had advised us not to, a warning that had struck me as bizarre. I mean, really. What idiot would do such a thing? But now I saw the problem. These Caribbean reef sharks had skin like velvet, dark and rich in the shadows, shiny and pale when it caught the light. They shimmered hypnotically as they moved. I noticed scars, dark healed gashes on their sides and around their jaws, telling stories I couldn't read—of feeding frenzies, mating rituals, and fishermen. I wanted to touch. The sharks, meanwhile, seemed to register me as an uninteresting object. They came disquietingly close but always turned away from me at the last second. As they swerved, I found myself wishing one would shimmy along my body as she did, gliding in tandem with me for a few moments. The sharks gave me butterflies, but the truth was that I was probably more of a danger to them than they were to me. For one thing, I was with 14 other humans, some of them fatter and slower than me, giving the sharks considerable choice should they choose to nibble. For another, as sharks go, the Caribbean reef shark is not especially threatening. Just four species of the 410 or so known to science account for most shark attacks on humans, and this wasn't one of them. The sharks, on the other hand, would have had a lot to worry about had they been half as anxiety-prone as humans. Our group was shark baiting, one of the most controversial eco-tourism practices in the Caribbean. Sharks, being wild animals, are difficult to procure on command. So many of the hundreds of shark-dive operators around the world tempt the animals with food. At Waihuka Diving, Roatán's sole shark operation, the dive master took a plastic bucket with holes punctured in the lid and filled it with a small amount of chopped-up fish. The dive master planted the bucket in the sand 20 feet from the coral wall where we kneeled, and the sweet smell of fish guts lured the sharks to school right in front of us. They kept schooling as, at the dive master's signal, we moved into the fray. My excitement was pure, more real and visceral than I had expected. And, fortunately, immune to the presence of other humans and the artificiality of the setup. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Which brings me back to the bait. In 2001, Florida banned shark feeding in its waters, a move hailed by public-safety officials but also by conservationists. Feeding sharks lowers their natural fear of humans, which makes them easier prey for fishermen. And repeatedly luring them to the same spot makes them easy for fishermen to find. This is a problem, because more than 100 million sharks are killed by humans every year. Several species are critically endangered, and some have gone extinct within specific regions. Sharks are frequently killed as collateral damage—for instance, by tuna boats in the Pacific. (Your dolphin-safe tuna is not necessarily shark-safe.) Sharks are also a direct target of fishermen, especially for their fins, with escalating demand for shark-fin soup in China and Taiwan. The fins are so valuable that fishermen often cut them off and throw the shark back into the ocean, where it bleeds and sinks to its death. We humans returned to our places in front of the coral wall, and the dive master, wearing a chain-mail gauntlet, ripped the lid off the bucket of chopped fish. The effect was instantaneous. These lazily graceful creatures were suddenly bullets of muscle. In a matter of seconds they became a writhing, food-focused mass. A single thrash by a single shark looked powerful enough to knock me out. As the melee ended, the sharks dispersed, trolling the area in wider and wider curves until a few disappeared into the blue. The divers reluctantly began to swim up the anchor line. At 15 feet below the surface, I paused and hung onto the line, floating like a windsock in the current while the nitrogen left my body. For a few minutes, I was able to watch the sharks from above, now just gray silhouettes but still recognizable by the S-curve of their swim. A fisherman on Roatán can get about $40 for one of these sharks, or $720 for 18. Waihuka gets about $80 per diver, so $960 on this 12-customer dive. They can charge $960 for those same sharks again and again, and the sharks don't have to die: The resource is renewable. Assuming similar overhead (a boat, an outboard engine, gasoline), shark-watching is more profitable for the locals than shark-fishing, and it conserves nature rather than decimating it. Doesn't that make shark diving a good thing? The rosy view of eco-tourism would say we should exploit shark viewing to stop shark fishing. Hire the fishermen as dive masters, and you've got a win-win-win for locals, tourists, and sharks. Shark-watch businesses further argue that the more people have happy encounters with the animal, the more public support there will be for researching and protecting it. (The whale-watching industry plausibly advances a similar argument.) Unfortunately, ecology is a little more complicated. The day before my dive, I had asked James Foley of Roatán Marine Park 120/140 what he thought about shark baiting. "If you feed sharks, you're interfering with their natural feeding cycle," he said. Since they're the top predators, that messes with the entire food chain. If they eat less of their usual prey, the prey population balloons and eats more of the creatures below it, and so on and so forth. "It sends shock waves through the whole ecosystem," Foley said. Masses of data and very sophisticated computing are required to get an idea of the ultimate impact, but the point is this: Feed wild beasts with utmost caution, not because of some selfish concern over getting your hand bitten off, but for their sake. Even knowing what Foley had told me about the food chain, I wanted, post-dive, to side with proponents of shark diving, the ones who say that such cara-a-cara encounters will teach man to love the beast. After I surfaced, and for some time afterward, I would close my eyes and try to re-imagine myself back down to the reef, envisioning their skin and their scars and re-tasting the frisson. Not many experiences in adult life make me want to do that. From: Elisabeth Eaves Subject: Signs of Civilization Posted Wednesday, June 4, 2008, at 6:58 AM ET Parks, reserves, and wildlife refuges dot the northern coast of Honduras like a string of emeralds, starting in the west at the Barras del Rio Motagua National Park, tucked away on the Guatemalan border, and reaching the vast expanse of the Rio Plátano Biosphere Reserve in the east. The reserve cuts off the easternmost province of Gracias a Dios from the rest of the country and is covered with the largest remaining expanse of virgin tropical jungle in Central America. I approached the north coast of mainland Honduras by ferryboat from Roatán, thinking of two antecedents: Christopher Columbus, who was real, and Allie Fox, who was not. Columbus passed this way by ship in 1502 and claimed the shore for Spain. The existing human residents, the Tolupan, Pech, and Tawahka, lived in hidden jungle settlements, so Columbus would have seen an unbroken wall of green rising from the sandy beach up to the 8,000-foot peak of Pico Bonito. As my ferryboat approached, the peak loomed over the coast, first hazy in the bright morning sun, then greener as we got closer to the shore. As the wilderness has become a place that humans visit by choice rather than necessity, the "leave no trace" credo has evolved into a mantra for outdoor enthusiasts. In my case, it's been ingrained since grade-school day hikes. So it's odd to think just how new this philosophy is to Western thinking. Columbus, Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC I'm guessing, would have considered the idea of leaving no trace incomprehensible. Every Spanish name, every cathedral, every empty silver mine in Central America is testament to the belief that the bigger the trace, the better. Or consider the Babylonians, the Romans, the Mayans—the entire history of civilization is one of bending the earth to the needs and wants of humans. Today, we might worship at the altar of low-impact living, but I'll wager that our brains have not yet adapted. On a purely psychological level, impact is good. Who wants to be forgotten? We have families, make art, and build McMansions precisely so that we leave a trace. Allie Fox and his family also approached the north coast by ship in The Mosquito Coast, a novel by Paul Theroux, who seems to have chosen the region as a metaphor for the opposite of civilization. Fox wants to escape a corrupt and materialistic modern United States, and he has notions that the Mosquito Coast savages, as he sees them, are a purer version of mankind. But once in the jungle, he is desperate to civilize it. He plants neat rows of beans and builds a giant ice machine. My parents met me at the ferry terminal with Mark, a guide from a local company that specializes in aventuras ecológicas. The outfit is called Garífuna Tours, after an African-Indian ethnic group that lives along the north coast. This was supposed to be a group tour, but we were the only customers. We felt a bit decadent. We drove through the modern, low-rise city of La Ceiba, which, despite its banks and restaurants and grid-patterned streets, looked bleached and weathered, as though it were still trying to assert itself against nature. The impact of humans on the north coast accelerated considerably after 1502, culminating in today's cultural peak, which comes complete with Dunkin' Donuts and KFC. Mark whisked us west of the city, turned off the paved road, and drove through a field of pineapples. A mechanical conveyor with a green-painted metal boom sat idle in the field. The low, spiky pineapple plants grew right up to the edge of Pico Bonito National Park, 414 square miles of mountain and jungle encompassing Pico Bonito itself, the jutting peak I had seen from the sea. Entering the jungle was like stepping into a yawning palace, one made of ceiba and mahogany and rosewood trees, lit only by a few sunbeams that penetrated a latticework high above. Up there—30 or 40 yards up in the trees—existed a whole world of insects and animals that never deigned to touch the ground. The trail began to climb, and small unseen creatures rustled and were gone before I could get a look. When we came upon a termite nest, Mark urged me to eat one of the insects, and when I refused, he told me that at least I knew now that they were edible, in case I got lost in the forest.* We passed a sign that banned venturing off-trail into the pathless woods beyond. Mark said a group of Spaniards had recently headed that-a-way, gotten lost for six days, and had to be rescued. 121/140 In an hour, we arrived at a waterfall. A foamy white feather spewed out of the jungle, down vine-covered rock, and eddied and churned its way to the deep, calm pool that spread out at our feet. Outside the air-conditioned rooms, the heat had been constant since I arrived in Honduras. It was the kind that pressed on your body like a physical force, barely lessened by an evening breeze or a dip in the bath-water sea. During our short jungle climb, it seemed to have grown even thicker. Now here was a chance to be cool. I dove under the water and felt the blood rush to the surface of my skin. As I was drying off, a troop of teenagers from the town of Tela arrived at the fall. They were on a Sunday hike with a lone American friend, a redheaded Peace Corps volunteer from Texas. Honduras is host to 192 volunteers—the Peace Corps' second-largest deployment in the world (only Ukraine has more)—who are scattered around the country on their vague but benign mission to be of use. Jonathan was at the end of his twoyear tour, which he had spent advising the Tela mayor's office on business development. "The Peace Corps has been in Honduras for 40 years," he told us. "So you might well ask, just how much good are we doing?" Perhaps not much. But the urge to leave a trace is irrepressible. Correction, June 10, 2008: This piece originally and incorrectly referred to termites as ants. (Return to the corrected sentence.) From: Elisabeth Eaves Subject: Pineapple Fields Forever Posted Thursday, June 5, 2008, at 10:55 AM ET American short-story writer O. Henry, exiled to Honduras in the 1890s, coined a term to describe the country that was so perfectly evocative of colonial horrors, bad government, tropical weather, ripe fruit, and lush bougainvillea vines creeping up the patio railing that it's in wide circulation more than a century later. The term was banana republic. That piece of poetry conjures an entire period of history. For the first half of the 20 th century, large swaths of Honduras were more or less run by the Standard Fruit Co. (now Dole) and the United Fruit Co. (now Chiquita). They bribed the politicians and summoned the U.S. military when things got out of hand. They built and owned the railways, which tended to run from the fields to the ports but not to anywhere useful to Hondurans, such as the capital. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Of course, the country has come a long way since then. Or has it? During my visit, Honduras This Week ran the front-page headline "President Zelaya Addresses Melon Crisis." The photographic evidence showed the mustachioed president sitting at his desk, Honduran flag visible to one side, biting into a juicy cantaloupe. The power of big fruit has diminished in recent decades, but pineapples, bananas, and melons are still export staples. A relatively minor U.S. Food and Drug Administration warning—that melons from a particular Honduran farm might contain salmonella—can become a flash point for a fragile economy. Now a lot of people are hitching hopes for Honduras' economy to tourism. Plans for at least two new resorts are under way on the north coast, one of them adjacent to a national park. Signs in the protected areas I visited bore the logos of donor organizations—USAID, WWF, the Honduras-Canada Fund for Environmental Management. Even the Peace Corps was onboard. Since running into Jonathan at the waterfall, I had met a second Peace Corps volunteer, Nicole, who was visiting the Cuero y Salado wildlife reserve with her father. Nicole was stationed in the south, in a small town in the department of Valle. I asked her what went on there, economically speaking. She furrowed her brow and thought for a minute. Finally, she said that there were a lot of armed security guards. She was working with a women's cooperative, trying to come up with things its members could sell to foreigners. They made attractive pottery, but it didn't ship well. Nicole had hit upon the idea of making small, bright-colored purses woven from old potato-chip bags, an item she had seen for sale in other parts of Central America. There were no tourists where she lived to buy such things, but she thought that maybe the townsfolk could lure travelers from the Pan-American Highway, which passed nearby. Tourism was clearly a popular cause, but was it smart? Does it make sense, in the long term, to sell natural charms that will be steadily worn down by the buyers? A city can renew itself with man-made attractions. I wasn't sure that jungles and coral reefs had that kind of staying power. On our last day on the coast, I floated facedown in the Caribbean, toting up my sins. I had flown in an airplane, taken taxis instead of buses, requested air conditioning, run the air conditioning even after I realized I couldn't shut one of my windows, and bought small plastic bottles of water. That was all before sundown on my first day. Subsequently, I had participated in the feeding of wild animals, been driven around in gasoline-powered cars and boats, eaten conch (I didn't know it was threatened), and—this one hadn't even occurred to me until I read it in a guidebook—worn sunscreen and DEET-laden bug repellent while swimming above the delicate corals. But I had no idea how to weigh all that against whatever minuscule economic benefit I might have been bringing to Honduras. 122/140 We were in Cayos Cochinos Marine National Park, a collection of cays northeast of La Ceiba. That morning, snorkeling off a deserted cay, I had seen parrotfish, jacks, schools of blue tang, and one fat, lazy barracuda, motionless except for its snapping jaw. The reef life was more vivid and abundant than anything I had seen off Roatán, probably because of all the diving and development there. "Let the movie go," we said in chorus, my mother and I now joining Gustavo. He was our portly, scholarly guide to the ancient Mayan city of Copán, an urban center of 24,000 people during its heyday, which was sometime between A.D. 400 and 800. He carried a stick with a bird feather attached to one end to point out archeological details, and he had the slightly aggrieved air of a man who had to be patient a lot. Now I was floating off Cayo Chachauate, a coral cay just a few hundred feet long that was home to a Garífuna village of about 30 families. The Garífuna, who descend from escaped slaves and Carib Indians, lived on the island of St. Vincent until 1797, when the British deported the entire population to Honduras, where they established fishing villages. Chachauate's wooden huts were strung out along the sand just yards above the highwater mark. An assortment of canoes, makeshift sailboats, and outboards sat on the beach. The big news in the village was that it had recently acquired a diesel generator, which ran every evening from 6 to 8. Any villager who invested in his own power line was free to share. Until the generator, only one ambitious family had had electricity, provided by a solar panel on their roof. Gustavo was unhappy with Mel Gibson and, in particular, with what he referred to as "that stupid movie," Apocalypto. In case you missed it, the 2006 film was a revisionist and gruesomely violent retelling of history. No surprise there, but this movie happened to be set among the ancient Maya. There were beheadings, impalings, and human sacrifices performed by drugaddled priests. Not that the real Mayans didn't perform the odd human sacrifice. But Gustavo was at pains to contextualize. I watched a purple fan coral sway with the movement of the tide. The sea stretched away turquoise in three directions and grew pale where it rose up to the beach. Up there, a woman in a hut was making me fried chicken for lunch. I swam in closer to shore, gliding over sea grass and rippled sand. I saw a few tiny fish and a corroded soda can. And then I saw the bearded face of José Trinidad Cabañas, a long-ago president of Honduras. He was decorating a 10-lempira bill, which lay flat and motionless on the sand. Struck by this oddity, I dove for the bottom, but when I picked up the money, it felt so slippery and fragile that I thought it would disintegrate in my hand, so I let it flutter back down to the seabed again. From: Elisabeth Eaves Subject: Mel Gibson and the Demise of Civilization Posted Friday, June 6, 2008, at 10:27 AM ET "Forget about the movie," Gustavo told Denise. She ignored him. "They took the heart out, and it was still beating," she said. "And they held it up like this!" She raised one pale, triumphant arm above her head. At the entrance to Copán, my parents and I had teamed up with Diane and Denise, two middle-aged women from New York City, both with strong Brooklyn accents. Denise, who had short black hair and wore bright red lipstick, was a Gibson fan. To Gustavo's consternation, she kept asking where the sacrifices were performed. And now, finally, we were in the middle of the Grand Plaza, once quite a hub, open to all members of the ancient Copán public and used for both commerce and worship. There was a small pyramid at the center of the plaza, and steles scattered around, each one intricately carved in honor of one king or another. And there, right in front of us, was a large stone object made for the express purpose of sacrificing humans. It was dome-shaped, about 4 feet wide and 3 feet tall, with a depression hollowed out of the top just big enough to cup a human head. Two channels ran down the sides to drain the blood away. Gustavo grabbed my arm and told me to lean backward over the dome with my head in the depression—kind of comfy, if you must be sacrificed—and made as though to cut off my head with his feather-stick. That was when Denise got excited and started recounting the Apocalypto sacrifice scene, thrusting her hand into the air as though holding a beating heart. "And the people were still alive!" she said. She reluctantly followed as the rest of us moved away across the plaza to the city's ball court. Relief-carved macaw heads decorated the walls. Mayan ball courts, it turns out, were not for playing ball in the Western sense of a game, as an earlier generation of archeologists believed. "The idea of the ball ceremony was not to please a human audience, but to please the gods," Gustavo explained. Performed correctly, the ball "game," conducted by specially trained young men, was believed to make the sun and moon come up on time. Today, though much of ancient Copán still lies buried, you can wander among its carvings and pyramids, tombs and temples, Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC 123/140 halls of government and homes, visualizing the bright-colored stucco that once adorned them. Until the 19 th century, however, they were completely invisible. Some time in the 800s, the civilization of the Classic Maya period began a collapse so complete that by the time the Spaniards began to arrive, there was no trace of it. Descendants of the ancient Maya scattered and survived, but the great painted cities, with their pyramids and temples, were gone, swallowed whole by the jungle. The last date found on a Mayan monument corresponds to the year 909, as though time just stopped one day. Archeologists still debate what happened. It's clear, though, that environmental degradation played a role in the collapse. In the Copán valley in particular, studies show that as the population grew, the people stripped the hillsides of trees. Major soil erosion preceded the city's downfall. Copán also suffered droughts, which may have been partly brought on by the deforestation. The Mayans cut down the trees to plant corn, and for firewood to burn limestone, a key ingredient in their bright pigments. Why didn't they pull themselves out of this ecological tailspin? Presumably they could see the trees disappearing and the mud running down the hills. In Collapse: How Societies Choose To Fail or Succeed, Jared Diamond suggests that the elites who might have led the way out of this mess had insulated themselves from the problems of the people. So as the poor began to suffer—infant mortality was probably 50 percent toward the end—the kings kept demanding tribute. We stood in front of the hieroglyphic stairway, an inscription covering 72 steps that make up one face of the acropolis. It's the longest hieroglyphic inscription found in the Americas, and no one has completely deciphered it. Archeologists know that it tells a history of ancient Copán and that it was created by a ruler named Smoke Shell in 753, when the city was already in decline. When the staircase is eventually decoded, maybe Smoke Shell will have something more to tell us about his doomed metropolis. In the meantime, Honduras is still being deforested. Central America has lost more than 70 percent of its forest cover since 1960, mostly to make way for cattle ranches, sugar-cane fields, and coffee plantations. Between 1990 and 2005, Honduras lost 10,567 square miles of forest—an area about the size of Massachusetts. But that's just another scary environmental statistic. Taken together, all the bad news is enough to make you turn to irrational beliefs about planetary control. Or to mindless entertainment. Gustavo began to tell us the story of the Mayan codices, manuscripts that could help decode the hieroglyphics. Denise cut in. "Did they sacrifice people up there?" Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Gustavo sighed. "Yes, and then they let the head roll down the steps and gave it to the victim's son," he said. "Too much Mel Gibson for you." well-traveled Baseball, Dominican-Style Smoking cigars with a major league MVP. By Bryan Curtis Friday, May 9, 2008, at 6:45 AM ET From: Bryan Curtis Subject: Baseball, Dominican-Style. Posted Monday, May 5, 2008, at 1:56 PM ET Late last summer, when the steroid scandals got to be too much for me, I went to the Dominican Republic. My ostensible purpose was baseball tourism, but this was not one of those trips on which you sun yourself in the bleachers and think happy thoughts about your father; or pester your favorite shortstop for an autograph; or see baseball the way "it's meant to be played," as if such a method existed. No, a trip to the Dominican Republic offered a chance to catch a glimpse of the sociopolitical landscape suggested by David Ortiz's home-run swing, Pedro Martinez's fastball, and Vladimir Guerrero's hypnotically twirling bat. It was a chance to see how a Third World country supports a First World sports league. If you've been scoring at home, you know that the Dominican Republic—the D.R.—has become the chief foreign source of major league talent, placing nearly 500 players at last count. The players are scouted, trained, and educated at the so-called Dominican baseball academies, outposts owned and operated by major league teams. We wanted to see what those academies were like and how baseball dreams were playing out. My team: Megan Hustad, my stateside companion, and Alberto Pozo, a Puerto Rican who has set up shop in Santo Domingo, the capital. Pozo was an apprentice TV producer, local fixer, and a fierce Yankees partisan, though you wouldn't have known it from the Red Sox cap that was always on his head. ("I lost a bet," he explained.) The three of us had started in the Zona Colonial, the crumbling, centuries-old center of Santo Domingo, with Pozo at the wheel of my rental car. After weaving through the traffic jams that clog the newer, shinier parts of town, we had emerged in the slums on the city's north side. A few feet from the car, there were lean-tos full of chickens, goats, and a teeming array of food vendors; ramshackle auto repair shops; and unlicensed "sports books," where the poorest of the poor bet on 124/140 everything from Major League Baseball to cockfights. Everything and everybody seemed to be kicking up dust. Whenever the car slowed to a stop, it was approached by hawkers on bikes selling knockoff sunglasses, guayaba ice pops, or fresh fruit. After a few wrong turns on unpaved roads, we reached the Philadelphia Phillies' academy around late morning. The academy's buildings sat next to a hillside in a remote stretch of farmland and owed something to Spanish mission architecture. According to the academy's administrator, Elvis Fernandez, the Phillies chose this spot because it is several tape-measure home runs away from girls, shopping malls, and other vices that might tempt a prized 16-year-old prospect. The only thing to do here is play baseball, which the Phillies recruits do morning and night, with an Eastern bloc-style regimentation. Some days will feature a full practice in the morning, a game against another team's academy in the afternoon, followed by post-game hitting and fielding drills before the players return to their bunks for the night. My team arrived in the middle of a game between the Phillies and the academy squad of the Los Angeles Angels. Habituated as I was to the scowling, thick-legged men of the majors, it is hard to convey just how striking these young Dominicans were: tall with dark, sun-walloped skin; lean muscles; and a youthful spring in their steps. Even their postures seemed optimistic. I was standing along the first-base line watching the Phillies' starter, a kid named Carpio, who had a live fastball and a tendency to get wild. Carpio got bailed out by a few slick defensive plays in the early innings, but by the fourth, his eyes were fixated on the pitcher's rubber, and he looked like he'd rather be somewhere else. With Carpio in a jam, we ventured from the field to the academy's main building, where the players slept, ate, and studied. The first room Fernandez showed us was a classroom. As he explained it, the academies' educational programs are mostly limited to a smattering of religious study, American law (it doesn't matter that you met her at a 21-and-over club—she could be lying about her age), and the teaching of baseballic terminology like "hit and run" and "cut-off man." ("Those are the first words we teach them," Fernandez said.) The basics established, the academy moves on to the interrogations the Dominican player is bound to encounter from coaches: What's your name? What position do you play? How old are you? (A loaded question, given the long history of fudging Dominican birth certificates.) "We teach them that American time is not Dominican time," Fernandez told me. Another lesson: The sexual mores of the D.R.—such as aggressively staring down an attractive woman on the street—will not fly in the States. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC The Phillies run the academy like a military school, and no one minded saying so. The team enforces a strict 8 p.m. curfew and a 10 p.m. bedtime. The players, who have received signing bonuses ranging from a few thousand dollars to a few hundred thousand dollars, are not allowed to keep cars; if they want to visit the nearest shopping mall, they must take the rickety local bus. They "eat, sleep, and play baseball," Fernandez said, the reliable sports cliché having real meaning for once. For many of the players, the Phillies academy is the first place they've encountered a well-balanced meal; like hungry teenage boys everywhere, they inevitably want more. The players' sleeping quarters were fittingly monastic. They slept eight to a room in bunk beds, and I noticed a few of the boys had pulled their mattresses onto the floor because of the sweltering heat. The rooms had the sad monotone of summercamp barracks and buzzed with tropical insects. We saw some small televisions propped up on plastic chairs but no other signs of affluence. It is the kind of place that reeks of long odds. One scout estimated that for every 100 prospects signed and enrolled in the Phillies academy, only three or four will make the major leagues. And given Dominican baseball fever—"Every father wants his son to be a ballplayer," I was told again and again—it is safe to assume that for those 100 signees, there are many thousands more outside the academy looking in. With nothing left to see in the dorms, we marched through a dimly lit and spectacularly cluttered locker room and then stepped back outside into the glaring Caribbean sun. We could still hear metal bats striking the ball in the distance, and the occasional muffled cheer. A flock of tiny black birds swooped overhead, darting over and under the laundry lines. Fernandez couldn't identify them. "They're always here," he shrugged. From: Bryan Curtis Subject: The Great Rivals Posted Tuesday, May 6, 2008, at 7:43 AM ET If the goal of every young ballplayer in the Dominican Republic is one day to make the major leagues, the secondary goal is to spend the winter in the thrall of one's countrymen. Just as the U.S. World Series ends in October, the Dominican Winter League begins. It is a kind of postseason victory lap, a chance for the player to reconnect with his native country. It is in the winter league that one finds the familiar tropes of Dominican baseball: the highly knowledgeable, and therefore raucous, fans; merengue music wafting from the bleachers; and intranational 125/140 rivalries that put our minor domestic disputes, like Yankees vs. Red Sox, to shame. The main Dominican rivalry these days is between the Licey Tigers—whom we'll think of as the "Yankees" in our gringo shorthand—and the Águilas Cibaeñas—whom we'll think of as the "Red Sox." When we arrived in the D.R., the two teams had won every Dominican league championship since 1995—Licey last in 2005-06, Águilas most recently in 2006-07. Both had a total of 19 championships. Each club suspected the other was inferior on the diamond and otherwise. A few notes about the Dominican Winter League: We're not talking about amateurs here. If you are a Dominican wishing to join the winter league, you first have to play your way to the United States and then spend at least two years in the American minor leagues. At that point, your name can appear on a drafteligible list for the six Dominican teams. (The others are Escogido, Estrellas, Gigantes, and La Romana.) Being drafted by a Dominican club instantly transforms you into a beloved local fixture, and players can be enticed to return to their Dominican club until they reach what in baseball counts as extreme old age. Luis Polonia, who is 44 and whose major league career ended back in 2000, still plays some designated hitter for his Dominican team, Águilas. The Águilas general manager, Winston Llenas, told me that he believes Polonia practiced with Babe Ruth, but he still signs him every year. Licey (pronounced LEE-say) plays in the Estadio Quisqueya, a park that has the look of a giant concrete conch shell. Of the D.R.'s two great rivals, Licey is the older and (as its partisans constantly remind you) grander of the ballclubs. We were shown into the office of the owner, Jose Manuel "Pepe" Bustos, who went to the immensely unnecessary trouble of assembling the entire Licey front office for my interrogation. Clearly unprepared for my arrival, they sat rigidly in their seats and faced me as though I were a government tax auditor. The Licey brain trust consists of Bustos; Jose Bustos Jr., his son and the team's general manager; and Miguel Guerra, the team's accountant. What, I asked, separated Licey from the other winter league clubs? "We treat the players in a way they like to be treated," Jose Bustos said, "because we don't have the money to pay them what they get paid in the major leagues." (A Dominican Winter League salary amounts to a small honorarium, especially for players like Vladimir Guerrero.) "We're just one big family," Guerra added. "We call [the players] every week," Bustos Jr. said. "They need something, they call us. Their wives feel good when they're here." Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC This might sound like so much sports happy talk, but, in fact, Guerrero, the Los Angeles Angels slugger, played for Licey in the winter of 2004—even though he'd just won the majors' Most Valuable Player award. There's another reason for the friendly atmosphere: Major league players often come here and find their natural positions occupied, and they have to be talked into a switch. Carlos Peña, a first baseman who hit 46 home runs and 121 RBI in 2007 for Tampa Bay, couldn't find a position with Licey the previous winter and spent a lot of time on the Tigers bench. I told the Licey brain trust that I would be visiting the Águilas clubhouse the next day, and they looked at me with astonishment. The whole interview seemed to go rapidly downhill. Answers became clipped, and pauses gained pregnancy. Pozo, my translator, later explained that my statement was an unfortunate faux pas and had rendered me suspect in their eyes. For I was no longer a foreign journalist come to honor the glories of Licey, the greatest team in Dominican history; I was, annoyingly, insisting on talking to "both sides." Adios. Águilas (AH-gee-las) is headquartered in the D.R.'s secondlargest city, Santiago, whose natural insecurity is reflected in the civic motto: "Santiago is Santiago." My team started the twohour drive north from Santo Domingo under threatening clouds. Santo Domingo's gantlet of bodegas and cell-phone stores gave way to a winding highway lined with hills of thick, verdant forest. It is hard to do justice to the vastness, the greenness of the view—let alone the looming feeling of rural poverty, Dominican-style. Every couple of miles, we'd zoom by a clutch of lean-tos with corrugated scrap-metal roofs, built on the sides of the hills. The huts were staggered horizontally, like terraces jutting off the side of an apartment building. If you squinted, you could see a few faces and loose chickens; skinny babies in dingy, loose-fitting hand-me-downs; animal carcasses for sale. The only sign of modernity is the condition of the highway— surprisingly smooth—and the Brugal Rum-sponsored road signs that announce every town. Pozo zipped past what little traffic we encountered with the deft hand of someone who had been driving, he estimated, since he was 9. We traveled fast—70, 80 miles per hour—but the traffic slowed as we made our way into Santiago. The Águilas team offices are in a little bandbox of an estadio with palm trees pointing upward near the foul poles. We were greeted by Winston Llenas, the general manager and a fine ballplayer in his own right—he played six seasons with the California Angels in the 1970s. ("I did some damage," he assured me.) Whereas the Liceños had comported themselves as polite technocrats, Winston was expansive, bordering on clownish—a Dominican Charlie O. Finley. Broad-shouldered, with a mane of salt-andpepper hair and a prominent nose, he commanded me to sit in front of his enormous desk and shouted, "The buck stops here," as he pounded it with mock fury. 126/140 As Llenas seemed to have a sense of humor, I took a calculated risk and mentioned visiting the rivals down south. "Licey—since you mentioned the Licey club—it's also a club with a lot of tradition," Llenas said tactfully. "It's the oldest club in the Dominican Republic, actually. They're celebrating their 100 th anniversary this year. Of course, we're going to ruin their celebration." If Águilas had an advantage, Llenas explained, it was its rabid fan base. Cibaeñas like to think that they make up for what they lack in Santo Domingo-style cosmopolitanism with energy and passion—which, at the ballpark, means they are louder and more demanding. Even Licey die-hards can be made to admit that Águilas has the superior crowd. "It's crazy, man," Llenas said when I asked about the scene in the stands. "It's fun. It's noisy. It's music, it's yelling … it's loud … it's unbelievable." "You can expect anything to happen in the stands," said Santana Martinez, an Águilas play-by-play announcer, who had joined us. "It's [like] going to the Bronx Zoo or something," Llenas replied. "Fortunately, you don't have too many fights." which we could glimpse Estadio Cibao in a moment of rare, offseason repose. Just then the clouds made good on their promise, and rain came pouring down in sheets. From: Bryan Curtis Subject: A Tripleheader With Juan Marichal Posted Wednesday, May 7, 2008, at 6:53 AM ET Juan Marichal is the first baseball player from the Dominican Republic to be inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame, which makes him the country's baseball patron saint. He lives in Santo Domingo in a sprawling house surrounded by trees and high stucco walls. Like many of the capital city's prominent residences, Marichal's place is guarded by a man in camouflage fatigues who sits in a plastic lawn chair with a machine gun across his lap. One afternoon we were ushered inside the front gate, waved past the watchful eyes of the guard, and shown into Marichal's den. Marichal, who is never late, appeared promptly at 4 p.m., shook our hands, and motioned for us to arrange ourselves on three generously proportioned leather sofas. "No, no fights." There is little rest for the caretaker of a Dominican Winter League roster. For a time, the major leagues were happy to have players, Dominican- or American-born, spend their winter in the Caribbean. (Everyone from Bob Gibson to Orel Hershiser did a winter tour in the D.R.) These days, the American ballclubs prefer to keep prized prospects in "instructional" leagues back in the States. Even the established Dominican stars, like Miguel Tejada and Melky Cabrera, are often barred from playing a full season in the D.R. due to the "extreme fatigue" (the majors' regrettable phrase) brought on by too many regular-season pitches or at-bats. Thus, a Dominican Winter League team must shuffle players in and out, often with top stars dropping out at the last moment. "Plan A?" Llenas said. "Forget Plan A!" Before the 2007-08 season, Águilas had never managed to surpass Licey in total championships, giving the team a Red Sox-like inferiority complex that occasionally bordered on paranoia. "I don't want to tell you all of our secrets," Llenas said. Even so, Llenas let on that he planned to give up home-run hitting to win with pitching and defense. On opening day, the Águilas pitcher would be Jose Lima, a rotund Santiago native who is familiarly known as "Lima Time" and pitched parts of 13 seasons in the majors. (Indeed, a few months after I left, Águilas would win the league title, while Licey settled for second.) Llenas took us down the hall, up the stairs, through an Águilasmascot-festooned conference room, and into the VIP box, from Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Marichal is 70 years old and has salt-and-pepper hair and a smile as wide as a National League strike zone. He told us his life story in three acts. It is a well-rehearsed story, probably delivered many times to different people, but it might be the best encapsulation of how a Dominican baseball player can really make it big. Laguna Verde: Marichal grew up in Laguna Verde, a small town in the remote regions near the Haitian border. The locals were mostly farmers, growing rice and bananas and yucca. When Marichal was 16 years old, dictator Rafael Trujillo ruled the Dominican Republic, and American-owned United Fruit Co. was Laguna Verde's primary employer. Marichal was pitching for a team sponsored by the Granada Fruit Co., a subsidiary of United Fruit. He was a side-armed pitcher with a fastball that moved in toward the batter and a curveball that started in the middle of the plate and then broke to the outside. One Sunday afternoon, Marichal was set to pitch against the Dominican air force, a team that was the bauble of Ramfis Trujillo, the dictator's son. Marichal won the game 2-1. It was such a masterful outing that the next morning, a uniformed lieutenant approached Marichal and handed him a telegram that demanded, by order of Trujillo, that he enlist in the air force. Marichal was floored. He retreated to his mother's house in a panic. His mother read the telegram and started pacing nervously. At 4 o'clock that afternoon, with mom still pacing, the air force lieutenant reappeared with a second telegram. "Son, 127/140 you can't say no to these people," Marichal's mother said. Marichal enlisted in the Dominican air force. He figured that he could play baseball and learn to fly fighter planes, which he'd always dreamed of doing. Ramfis Trujillo was what you could safely call megalomaniacal, but he took a keen interest in his young conscript's baseball career. Whenever Marichal was scheduled to pitch, Trujillo would come to the base—an arrival heralded by the sounding of a thunderous horn—and take his seat behind home plate. From the mound, Marichal would find himself staring at Trujillo more than his catcher. "He was one of the two handsomest men I ever saw in my life," Marichal says. "The other was Elvis Presley." As a member of the Dominican air force, Marichal got the uniform and the mandatory crew cut. But when he inquired about flying planes, his commanders told him to never mind all that. He should stick to pitching. Michigan City: Marichal's first stop in American minor league baseball was a brief tenure with a team called the Michigan City White Caps. Marichal got to Michigan City, Ind., by riding in the back of a Greyhound bus from Florida, where the San Francisco Giants held their training camp. Before he left the Dominican Republic, no one had told Marichal about American segregation laws, and he doesn't think he would have understood the concept if they had tried. By this point, Latin Americans had been trickling into the major leagues for more than 50 years, long preceding Jackie Robinson. Many, like Marichal, were neither white nor black, so they fell into a murky third category—"nonwhite," which was effectively black. In a small, segregated town like Michigan City, Marichal saw his white teammates only on the field and in the clubhouse. After the game, Marichal would retire with the black players to boarding houses around town. Marichal didn't speak much English, so when he went to one of the town's black-owned restaurants, he would examine other diners' plates until he saw something he liked, and he would point at it. As Marichal's pitching garnered him a bit of celebrity around town, one restaurant began to offer him a free fried chicken for every game he won. During the 1957 season, his first in the United States, Marichal wound up winning 21 games and another two in the playoffs, for a grand total of 23 chickens. San Francisco: Marichal's arrival in San Francisco, in 1960, was the capstone of the Giants' great Caribbean recruiting spree. The team had signed Dominican brothers Felipe and Matty Alou and Puerto Rican Orlando "Baby Bull" Cepeda. But, for all their internationalism, the Giants retained a manager named Alvin Dark, a cuss from Comanche, Okla., who was nicknamed "The Swamp Fox." As Marichal recalls, Dark once told the team's Latin players that they were never to utter a word in Spanish, not even with each other. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Between 1963 and 1966, Marichal won 93 games and struck out 916 batters, which put him on the rarefied plane of great National League pitchers like Sandy Koufax and Don Drysdale. Marichal was an aggressive bench jockey, riding teammates and opponents, and he tended to wear an unnverving smile on the mound. "The thing I hate about that s.o.b.," one player told Time magazine, "is that it all seems so easy for him. It's one thing to go hitless against a pitcher like Sandy Koufax or Don Drysdale or Jim Maloney; at least you can look out there and see the cords standing out on his neck. ... Marichal—he just stands there laughing at you." A typically Marichalian outing was the game on July 2, 1963, that he pitched against Warren Spahn. The two Hall of Fame pitchers were standing at different ends of the rubber—at 26, Marichal had a live arm and a devastating curveball, while Spahn, 42, was running on fumes. On this day, the pitchers found themselves in a game of one-upmanship: Neither gave up a run through nine innings. At the top of the 10 th, Marichal went up to his manager and said, "Mr. Dark, the weather's nice, I feel strong, please let me stay a few more innings." Dark said that would be OK, and Marichal threw five more shutout innings. At the end of the 14th inning, Dark tried to bench Marichal, but Marichal pointed at Spahn—who was also still in the game and also hadn't given up any runs—and said, "That man is 42 years old. I'm only 26. Until that man leaves the mound, nobody's going to take me out of this game!" Dark was perturbed by Marichal's cheek, but he let Marichal go out and pitch the top of the 15th inning. Marichal got three quick outs. Then Spahn went out and pitched the bottom of the 15 th, and he also got three quick outs. At the top of the 16 th, Marichal could see that Dark was no longer amenable to his suggestion; a Giants relief pitcher was already trotting out of the bullpen. Before the reliever could reach the infield, Marichal grabbed his glove, raced onto the mound, and started throwing warm-up pitches. Marichal got three more outs in the top of the 16 th inning. All this really happened. What comes next is how Marichal tells the story, and, given his extravagantly charmed life, it's quite likely that it might have happened. Marichal says he met Willie Mays on the way into the dugout and told him, "Willie, I don't want to pitch anymore!" Mays said he would take care of it. Mays hit a home run and won the game. Sitting in his den now, Marichal has a way of letting his trademark grin serve as the punctuation mark for each anecdote. He took us around the room and pointed at pictures. On all four walls were photos of Marichal with Richard Nixon, Bill Clinton, Muhammad Ali, and numerous others, including his five striking daughters and one handsome son. A uniformed maid entered the room and served us coffee and tall goblets of ice water. 128/140 Marichal cautioned us not to drink our coffee while standing up. "In the Dominican Republic, that's bad luck," he said. He had a certain authority on the subject of good fortune. From: Bryan Curtis Subject: The Mountain of Dreams Posted Thursday, May 8, 2008, at 10:35 AM ET The kid who was driving the scooter took his eyes off the heavily potholed road and said, "Bryan, how do you say in your language—muerto?" I was perched on the seat behind him, my hands clutching at his ribs as we weaved between cars, blew through traffic lights, and kicked up dust from the dirt road. I had been thinking muerto a lot over the last 10 minutes, but how did this guy know that? I was riding with a motoconcho, one of the brigade of helmetless scooter drivers who provide a kind of unlicensed limousine service in the Dominican Republic. Since few Dominicans own cars, hitching a ride with a motoconcho, which typically costs a few pesos, is both a necessity and something of an art form. Men, women, and preteen schoolchildren in their blue-and-khaki uniforms line up along the side of the roads, waiting for a scooter to buzz by. You could be in Santo Domingo sprawl or deep in the countryside. If you wait long enough, you will see a motoconcho. My team had come (by car) from Santo Domingo to the city of San Cristóbal in search of a baseball academy called Loma del Sueño—the Mountain of Dreams. San Cristóbal is one of the Dominican Republic's most fertile baseball towns, and as we cruised the sandy main drag, we saw the visage of Raúl Mondesí, the former major league slugger, on a billboard endorsing one of the candidates in the country's May 2008 presidential elections. Our directions ended in the center of town, so we pulled up next to a motoconcho who was relaxing under a shade tree. Oye! The motoconcho seemed to know the way to Loma del Sueño, but he kept the directions vague: "Derecho" was all he would say—straight ahead. He was angling to show us the way himself, for a small fee. So in an attempt to get my money's worth, I exited the car and cautiously assembled myself on the back of the scooter. My translator, Alberto Pozo, who would trail the motoconcho in our car, told me that if I felt uncomfortable, I should attempt to exit the bike in a graceful fashion. Riding with the motoconcho is not unlike taking a turn on those mechanical bulls they have at high-end country-western bars. You must lean into the turns and lift your derriere off the seat Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC about a half-second in advance of every pothole. We finally found a smooth road near an old cemetery. "Muerto," the driver repeated, grinning and pointing at the tombstones. I smiled weakly. We took a left, and we found ourselves under a canopy of lush foliage. Then we were going uphill. The scooter shuddered during the climb, and the motoconcho kept up a long, half-decipherable patter about the high price of gas and the poor condition of the bike. (New York taxi drivers have never done a better job setting up a tip.) Then the road flattened out, we sped across a bridge, and on the top of the mountain, with all the majesty of a hard-to-reach Buddhist monastery, was Loma del Sueño. The Mountain of Dreams. If the Phillies' academy was a summer-camp-style barracks, then Loma del Sueño looked like a tourist resort. As we passed through the gated entrance, we could see that baseball diamonds had been carved directly onto the mountaintop. The fields were back-dropped on all sides by a valley of bright green trees that stretched into the horizon. To venture a metaphor I have never seen on the sports page, it was a bit like playing baseball on Machu Picchu. Loma del Sueño is the brainchild of José Rijo, who won the Most Valuable Player award in the 1990 World Series and also happens to be Juan Marichal's former son-in-law. As he suffered through a string of arm injuries that would ultimately end his playing career in 2002, Rijo decided to return to his native country and create a piece of the baseball infrastructure. Rijo's brother had suggested the mountaintop. The ball fields, housing complex, and executive offices now serve as baseball academies for the Washington Nationals, San Diego Padres, and Detroit Tigers. A playoff game between the Nationals' academy and the visiting Los Angeles Angels had already gotten under way by the time we arrived, and we found Rijo, a rotund, serene presence, relaxing in the shade of an umbrella on the first-base line, a cigar sticking out of his mouth. Loma del Sueño was very much a local affair. A crowd of maybe 100 had made its way up the mountain, probably via motoconcho or on foot, and was chattering excitedly along the chain-link fences that surrounded the main field. There was a spontaneous energy you rarely experience amid all the canned stadium rock at a major league ballpark. Here, one twentysomething fan made his way through the crowd with a snake draped over his shoulders. Small boys of assorted sizes, some lovingly attended to and others blissfully free of parental supervision, scampered around. Two young women came dressed and accessorized as if for a night at one of San Cristóbal's finer discothèques. A banged-up 10-gallon water cooler was hauled out to make sure everyone stayed hydrated under the 88-degree sun. When the hometown Nationals took the field, they were serenaded by a three-piece pep band—complete with horn section—that had set up shop near Rijo. The Nationals team broke out in a spasmodic dance and then ran to their positions. 129/140 The young players headquartered at Loma del Sueño were experiencing the kind of luxury accommodations normally available only to turistas. They lived in a five-story pink stucco palace, which Rijo, who was concentrating on the game, dispatched us to in his golf cart. The student players' rooms were not unlike those you'd find at any Dominican beach hotel, with wrought-iron headboards and coordinating dressers. Each had a private balcony that overlooked the valley below. "Some kids are very poor here," Rijo told me later. "They don't know how to handle themselves. They do so much damage to the air conditioners, the TVs." An assistant took us up to peek into Rijo's own penthouse apartment, which he had called Suite 27, after his uniform number. It was decorated with African and aboriginal art, flat-screen TVs, embroidered silk pillows, white linen sofas, and top-shelf liquor like Grey Goose vodka and Johnnie Walker Gold whiskey. I could imagine that in the mind of a young, ambitious southpaw, it was a dreamlike vision of the spoils of baseball success. When we returned to the ball field, Rijo got us chairs and ordered his staff to bring pitchers of passion-fruit juice with ice, along with platters of crackers, cheese cubes, and cantaloupe. He was still engrossed in the game, but he took a moment to make a few remarks over the din of the band. "They've got the Field of Dreams, I've got the Mountain of Dreams," Rijo said. "If you build it, they will come." Rijo lives at Loma del Sueño pretty much full-time. He pitches batting practice and helps maintain the fields. He preaches about discipline, bringing in police officers to warn the players about the crime and drugs they're sure to encounter in the United States. "The other day, they announced a hurricane," he said. "I told the kids to go home. They said, 'No, no. If we stay here, we know we're going to eat for sure.' So I told them to stay here." Rijo also pointed out something I hadn't thought much about: The academies are such a booming industry in the Dominican Republic that they produce a number of jobs for locals. "This town is so poor, it needs so much help, I figured this was the best way for me to give back something," Rijo said. Loma del Sueño requires a small army of scouts and groundskeepers and cooks and motoconchos and maids, who enter the ballplayers' rooms with the weariness of a mother entering her 16-year-old son's. It is one thing to think about Major League Baseball sending its agents to the Third World to pluck out young shortstops and leave everyone else to fend for themselves. It's another to think of Dominican baseball, at its core, as a local industry. That is what surprised me most about our tour of Dominican baseball, this forceful assertion of Dominican-ness. Whereas once the baseball industry may have had the whiff of neocolonialism, it seems to have assumed a homegrown air. A Dominican buscón brings the young ballplayer to the attention of the academy. A major league team pays a signing bonus to the Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC player's family (with the buscón taking his cut). During his three years at the academy, the player trains with Dominican coaches, is tended to by a Dominican staff, and, in the case of Loma del Sueño, is mentored by a Dominican baseball star who has already made the journey to the big leagues. An academy director like Rjio is ultimately working at the pleasure of the American baseball clubs, of course. But it's Dominicans who run the place, rather than American outsiders—there's no reason for the teams to do much more than sign the checks. As we got up to leave, Rijo turned to me. "Do you smoke cigars?" he asked. "Well, I have a cigar bar in Santo Domingo. I'll be there from 8 until midnight tonight. You should come by." From: Bryan Curtis Subject: Jose Rijo Unplugged Posted Friday, May 9, 2008, at 6:45 AM ET When Jose Rijo, Dominican baseball eminence and MVP of the 1990 World Series, invited me to join him at his cigar bar in Santo Domingo, I quickly agreed. Here was a chance to witness a retired baseball player living in the afterglow of his career and also to pretend, as best I could, that I belonged at the table. First, we had a farewell dinner with Alberto Pozo, our fixer. Alberto had promised us a final meal of authentic Dominican food—comida típica—which we had been eating, between sandwiches and Pollos Victorina fried chicken, for most of the trip. Alberto decided on El Conuco, a touristy joint with an extensive buffet and live dancing. We sat at a table close to speakers blaring bachata music, and as the house dancers clapped and twirled in front of us, I picked at a bowl of sancocho, a stew made with seven meats. That conversation was all but impossible wasn't as awkward as it might have been. After dozens of hours in the car with Alberto—and a few with his 6-year-old daughter, Paula—to call him a "fixer" would do him little justice. He was a friend and fount of boundless optimism—his answer to my entreaties for more bureaucrats or baseball players was always "No problem." Alberto has an entrepreneur's zeal, and if anyone can make "baseball tourism" into a Dominican industry, it is he. Rijo's cigar bar was a few blocks down the road, tucked into one of the giant, neon-lit casinos that line the Malecón on Santo Domingo's waterfront. We rolled up around 9 and spotted the pitcher wearing a lime-green shirt and sitting at an outdoor table with about half a dozen friends. When Rijo saw us approaching, he made a few sharp movements with his hands, and we suddenly found ourselves propelled into seats. Spanish-language 130/140 torch songs were wafting through the windows of Rijo's white Lexus SC430 convertible, which was neatly parked next to the table. Slowly, as I acclimated myself to the surroundings, something else became apparent: The great Rijo and his friends were not merely listening to Spanish torch songs, they were singing them, in unison—a sing-along that, after pausing a few seconds for our arrival and drink orders, resumed in its fullthroated glory. It was the kind of karaoke performance you do not normally encounter on Old Timers' Day. for my companion Megan Hustad; she was duly chastised every time she allowed it to go out. Alas, thanks to a new anti-crime ordinance, the bars in Santo Domingo shut down at midnight, so a few members peeled off and the rest made motions to take the party inside the casino. Just then, Otero turned to us and said, "Now, I sing for you in English. My English is not good." "But it is good!" Rijo interjected. The lead singer was a Rijo confidant, Ramón Antonio Otero, a pudgy, middle-aged man who later told me, "My name is artist." As he tackled songs like "Que Se Mueran de Enviada" and "Esclavo y Amo," Otero sung in an exaggerated mock-opera style: chest pushed out, palms fluttering against pectorals, lower jaw tucked into his clavicle. A few times, I saw Rijo push buttons on his cell phone and hold it up for Otero to sing into the receiver. When I finally asked Rijo whom he was calling, he said it was his wife's answering machine—he was leaving her a serenade. The scene was fitting, because as a pitcher Rijo had always been something of an exotic. The San Cristóbal native made his major league debut at 18, in 1984, and by 26 he was on pace to become a Dominican legend on the order of Juan Marichal and Osvaldo Virgil. "I became a king," as Rijo once put it. Injuries cost him a chance to be a transcendent pitcher—he endured five surgeries on his right elbow alone—and he dropped out of the game in 1995. But after a grueling rehabilitation, he was able to claw his way back into the majors, and in 2002, nearly seven years after he'd started his last game, he pitched the Reds past the Cubs. In retirement, Rijo has become rounder and more kinglike, with courtiers inside and outside the game. Between songs, Rijo introduced the gallery that had arranged itself around him. It was a group of regulars that had come to enjoy Rijo's halo of celebrity, snifters of Jameson, and topquality cigars. One gray-suited gentleman who stopped by to pay his respects was, someone leaned in to whisper, "in the government." A tall, comically good-looking man in a tight pink polo shirt turned out to be the engineer who designed and was supervising construction of the D.R.'s first subway system, the earthworks for which we had seen earlier in the trip. Linen jackets were held rakishly over shoulders, and every other minute a joke would be made at somebody's expense, bringing the table's ever-simmering laughter to a burst. A couple of young women had taken over a table a few yards away and were making expectant eyes at our group, but this was plainly a boys' night out—an evening of bawdy jokes and gleeful showmanship. I could understand only half of what was said—most of the performance was en español—but it was one of those rare occasions in adult life where you find yourself giggling along like a confused toddler and yet feel no shame. The sole allowance for feminine delicacy was the smaller, vanillaflavored cigar one member of the entourage deemed appropriate Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Attempting to prove his friend right, Otero gamely started in on "My Way." Rijo joined him for the chorus and softly shook a pair of maracas. It was at this point that I entered a state of delirious happiness I have rarely experienced since childhood. I was in the company of a pitcher whose baseball cards I had collected, whom I had once watched win two World Series games on television. He was handing me drinks. And cigars. He was performing a song. With maracas. It was a rather grandiose end to our baseball tour, a symbol, I guess, of the extravagant lifestyle that awaits in the major leagues. For the triumphant final verse—"For what is a man, what has he got? If not himself, then he has naught"—Rijo sung harmony, and he and Otero finished the song on their feet. There was a light smattering of applause, a few cat calls. At one point, Rijo excused himself to take a phone call from Jim Bowden, the general manager of the Washington Nationals, who wanted to talk with Rijo about Dominican prospects. "Bowden told me, 'I need you here,' " Rijo told me later, shaking his head. "I said, 'I'm having too good a time!' " well-traveled The Mecca of the Mouse Worshipping at the church of Disney. By Seth Stevenson Friday, March 28, 2008, at 11:39 AM ET From: Seth Stevenson Subject: The Wide World of Disney World Posted Monday, March 24, 2008, at 7:17 AM ET Soon after checking in to my hotel room, I discover a mouse in the bathroom. Three mice, in fact. One is imprinted on the bar of soap. One peers out from the shampoo label. And a third, on closer inspection, is a washcloth—ingeniously folded by hotel staff to create two protruding, terrycloth ears. 131/140 I'm growing used to these rodentophilic touches. Earlier today, as I drove into the enormous Walt Disney nation-state here in Florida, I noticed a tall electrical stanchion topped with a pair of Mickey ears. Soon after, I spotted a water tower with the ears painted in black. When it comes to branding, Disney's aim is total immersion. Which is good, because that's my aim, too. I'm here to envelop myself in the Disney World experience. I've obtained lodging deep within the compound, at a Disney-owned resort. I've bought a $280 multiday pass, granting access to more Disney attractions than any person could reasonably endure. For the next five days, I plan not to stray beyond the borders of the Disney empire. (Don't worry, that still leaves me 47 square miles, an area roughly twice the size of Manhattan, in which to roam.) When I enter Spaceship Earth, I board a ride tracing the history of communication—from the first written symbols to the advent of the personal computer. It's low season now, so there's a mercifully short wait for the ride. That's the good news. The bad news is that once the ride is under way, I discover that it's a vague, aimless snooze. Toward the end of it, we pass what I believe to be an animatronic Steve Jobs. He's pneumatically gesturing inside a replica of a 1970s California garage. When the ride is over, we spill into an area called "Innoventions." It's sponsored by a company called Underwriters Laboratories, which specializes in product-safety compliance. Among the fun activities here for kids: Try to make a vacuum overheat! Also: See if you can fray the cord of an iron! (I'm not kidding about this. There are 9-year-old boys with furrowed brows attempting to cause product failures.) Why on earth would I, a childless adult, visit Disney World by myself? Basically, to figure out what the hell's going on in this place. Because America has clearly decided it's hallowed ground. Several other exhibit halls surround Spaceship Earth. According to my guidebook, they feature "subjects such as agriculture, automotive safety, and geography." Well gosh, that's what being a kid is all about! More than 100,000 people visit Disney World every day. I went when I was a kid. Nearly all my friends went. A few went more than once. Heck, I know Jews who weren't bar mitzvahed but did go to Epcot. Inside a pavilion labeled "The Land," I find myself being lectured on sustainable development. The lecture is delivered by the animated warthog from The Lion King. I can overhear the nice mom behind me trying to distract her whimpering toddler. "Look honey," she says, reading from her Epcot brochure, "the next ride is a 'voyage through amazing greenhouses and a fish farm!' " The kid cries louder. Somehow, this cluster of amusement parks has grown into a rite of American childhood. Kids are born with homing beacons set for Orlando. Meanwhile, parents—despite the hefty costs—often seem just as eager or more so to make the pilgrimage. My question is: What exactly are we worshipping at this mecca? Day 1: Epcot I drive the three minutes from my hotel and ditch my rental car in the lot. After swiping my pass-card and getting my fingerprint scanned (a new security measure), I enter through Epcot's gates. Once inside, I'm immediately jaw-dropped by the looming mass of Spaceship Earth. It's tough to ignore—being a 16-million-pound, 180-foot-high disco ball. One of Walt Disney's personal rules for theme-park design involved a concept he curiously termed the wienie. A wienie is a show-stopping structure that anchors the park. It is meant be iconic and captivating, so that it lodges in your visual memory forever. Spaceship Earth is perhaps the wieniest of all wienies. And it announces right off the bat that Epcot will not be your standard kiddie fun park. Over at the Magic Kingdom, the wienie is the fairy-tale Cinderella Castle. Here, it's a geodesic sphere inspired by the theories of R. Buckminster Fuller. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Though I was only 8, I still remember the day Epcot opened in 1982. The TV networks treated the event as news, airing live coverage. Every kid in my third-grade class was desperate to see this wondrous new place. Once the fanfare faded, though, we began to sense that Epcot was a slightly odd duck. Disney had purposefully designed it to appeal more to young adults than to their offspring. It was bound to disappoint all but the nerdiest of children. It had been the largest private construction project in all of American history— requiring three years and $1 billion to complete—and in the end, it was essentially a tarted-up trade expo. A perusal of Disney history suggests that Epcot was in some ways the brainchild of the man himself. What Walt envisioned was an Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow—a real town, serving as a laboratory for cutting-edge ideas about urban planning. But after Walt died in 1966, his dream was gradually perverted into the theme park we see today. Sponsors were called in to defray the huge costs, and in return, Epcot's "Future World" exhibits became an ode to giant corporations. The automotive safety ride is brought to you by General Motors. The agricultural science ride is compliments of 132/140 Nestlé. In his tome Vinyl Leaves: Walt Disney World and America (the title refers to the fake leaves on a Disney "tree"), mildly paranoid anthropologist Stephen M. Fjellman writes that Epcot's attractions are meant to "convince us to put our lives— and our descendants' lives—into the hands of transnational corporate planners and the technological systems they wish to control." When I leave the Future World area, I walk around the Epcot lagoon to the other half of the park. Here I enter the "World Showcase." It consists of 11 separate pavilions, each dedicated to a different nation. I like the idea of the World Showcase. And some of the architecture—the faux Paris street scene, for example—displays an astounding talent for mimicry. But if you've ever actually been outside America, this nod to the rest of the world is mostly just insulting. Half the pavilions have no cultural content at all. The Morocco complex is just souvenir stores selling carpets and fezzes. The ride meant to encapsulate Mexico is a collection of slapstick Donald Duck skits. (Donald loses his bathing suit while parasailing in Acapulco, Donald flirts with some caliente señoritas, etc.) I guess none of this should surprise me. Lots of tourists view travel abroad as basically a chance to shop for regionally themed trinkets. By the early evening, it's getting dark, and both kids and adults are getting crankier. A lot of strollers get wheeled into corners as moms whisper-shout, "Settle down, Hunter" and "You stop that right now, Madison." I'm also noticing a lot more people buying the $8.50 margaritas available next to the Mexico pavilion. I take this as my cue and head back to the parking lot. Tomorrow's another day—and another theme park. From: Seth Stevenson Subject: Disney's Hollywood Studios Posted Tuesday, March 25, 2008, at 7:36 AM ET The keynote attraction of Disney's Hollywood Studios, listed first on the park brochure, is something they call the Great Movie Ride. This ride purports to trace the history of American cinema. "Travel through classic film scenes and Hollywood moments," the pamphlet promises. Eager to see what sort of curatorial stamp the Disney imagineers might put on this topic, I line up, wait my turn, and hop aboard a Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC conveyor pod. Soon, I'm rolling along past various iconic movie stuff. There's Jimmy Cagney cracking wise. There's Humphrey Bogart wooing Ingrid Bergman. And oh, look, it's Sigourney Weaver battling an alien. (To my great disappointment, we at no point pass Debbie doing Dallas.) There are two big problems with this ride (besides there being no Debbie). First, as best I can tell, the kids sitting all around me have no idea who any of these actors are. Never seen any of these movies. They perk up solely at references to films that were released after 2005. Second, these aren't video clips we're watching: Those famous scenes are being performed by animatronic robots. They have waxy faces and whirring pneumatic limbs. Frankly, they're weird. And they, too, leave the kids completely cold. I'm sure "audio-animatronic" creatures were nifty when Disney pioneered them in the 1960s. They became possible after Wernher von Braun lent his pal Walt Disney some magnetic computer tape—the same kind that was used by NASA to synchronize its launches. (Pause to contemplate: Wernher von freaking Braun! He gave the world not only the V-2 rocket and the Saturn V superbooster, but also the means to create an android Sigourney Weaver. Perhaps the greatest innovation of all!) In 1964, an animatronic Abe Lincoln wowed the crowds at the New York World's Fair. People were convinced he was a live actor. Impressive achievement. Four decades later, though, who's impressed when a mannequin blinks and raises its eyebrows? Sadly for Disney, many well-known rides throughout all the parks—even the famed Pirates of the Caribbean—still rely on animatronics as a central selling point. I'm guessing that within a decade all these robot performers will get phased out. Robot Humphrey and Robot Sigourney will get powered down one final time, then tossed on a pile in some dark, archival closet. A few classics—maybe android Abe—will be left out on display to appease the nostalgists. However dated, it's still very Disney—this notion that the ultimate entertainment is to watch a machine impersonate a human. It hints at Disney's core philosophy. If I had to choose a single word to describe the Disney theme parks, that word would be inorganic. Or, as a cultural studies post-doc might put it: "Blah blah simulacra blah blah Baudrillard." As has been noted in many a dissertation, we visit Disney World to savor the meticulous construction—physical, mythical, and emotional—of a universe that's completely fake and soulless. But oh, how beautifully soulless it is. Upon leaving the Great Movie Ride, I walk down a facsimile of Sunset Boulevard. Here, I notice the asphalt under my feet has rubbed away in spots, 133/140 revealing the old streetcar tracks beneath. Of course, there never was a streetcar. And its tracks were never paved over to make way for the automobile age. And that pavement was never subsequently eaten away by the ravages of time. In fact, this entire fake history came into being all at once, fully formed, plopped on top of some Florida scrub land. As famed Baudrillard scholar Michael Eisner announced at the opening of the park in 1989: "Welcome to the Hollywood that never was and always will be." I think it's these interstitial moments—the seamlessness and the attention to detail—that really stun Disney visitors and stay with them long after they've left. The rides are great, sure, but every amusement park has rides. Disney creates fully realized narratives. Consider the Tower of Terror, located at the end of Sunset Boulevard. It's just a classic drop tower, where the goal is to send your stomach up into your sinuses. A regular amusement park would put you in a windowed gondola, crank it up high, and drop it. But here the complicated back story is that we're visiting a haunted, 1930s-era Hollywood hotel. The hotel lobby contains accurate period furnishings—battered velvet chairs, musty lampshades. As I wait in line, shuffling forward, I eavesdrop on the couple behind me. The woman (I've gathered she's from a showbusiness background) is marveling at Disney's set design. "Look at the distressing on all the surfaces," she says with real admiration. "That's not easy to do. You can't just let the set hang around and age for 50 years." She's right: The place is yellowed, stained, and cobwebbed to a perfect patina. You'd never guess the whole thing was built in 1994. After passing through the lobby, we're shown an expensively produced film about the hotel's haunted past. Then "bellhops" in Barton Fink-ish costumes lead us to our seats. And then, at last, the actual ride happens. It's about 45 seconds of screaming our tonsils out as we plummet down an elevator shaft. All that effort and ingenuity wrapped around such a simple thrill. But this is precisely what draws folks all the way to Disney World instead of to their local Six Flags. When the ride's done, I go back outside and watch people strolling down Hollywood Boulevard. It turns out that the most far-fetched fantasy in Disney World isn't the magic spells, the haunted buildings, or the talking animals. It's the fact that there aren't any cars. For the mostly suburban Americans visiting here, this whole pedestrianism concept is at once liberating and bewildering. People don't seem ready for it. On the one hand, they adore walking with their children in a totally safe environment (one that's outside and is not explicitly a shopping mall). On the other hand, they're getting extremely winded. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC It's pretty far to walk the whole park. "Slow down! Stop walking so fast," I hear over and over—sometimes from fat adults, other times from their chubby children. They sweat through oversize T-shirts. They breathe heavily with every step. Their plump calves go pink in the sunshine, contrasting with their bright white sneakers and socks. Self-propulsion appears to be a wholly unfamiliar challenge. Still, the rewards for their efforts are many. Around any given corner there might lurk Power Rangers, mugging for photographs. Sometimes a troupe of fresh-faced teens will suddenly materialize and perform dance numbers from High School Musical. Later, you can buy a multipack of High School Musical socks at one of the sidewalk souvenir stores. (OK, I actually bought some of these socks. They were for my 26-yearold sister. We share a refined sense of humor.) As the afternoon wanes, and I grow tired of the masses, I duck into the least-attended attraction I can find. It's called "Walt Disney: One Man's Dream." Inside, there's a small museum dedicated to Walt's life and a theater screening a short biographical film. There are about 12 people in the auditorium when the film begins. One family leaves halfway through because their toddler is cranky. Poor Walt, I think to myself. One day you're chilling with Wernher von Braun, inventing lifelike robots. The next day you're just some dude who drew a mouse. (Hey, let this be a lesson to you, High School Musical brats. There will come a time when no one will be buying your licensed hosiery anymore. Who will sing and dance with you then? Allow me to answer: You will sing and dance alone.) From: Seth Stevenson Subject: Disney's Animal Kingdom Posted Wednesday, March 26, 2008, at 8:05 AM ET The Imagineering Field Guide to Disney's Animal Kingdom reveals that the imagineers deliberately left the parking lots out in front of this Disney-style zoo as bleak and barren as they could. A wasteland, with no strips of grass to interrupt the endless asphalt slab. They wanted to heighten the contrast we feel when entering into the lush, wooded Animal Kingdom park. The scheme "ensures that the immersion into nature ... will be very impactful." My first thought upon reading this was: Screw you, imagineers! Parking lots suck enough as it is. You're saying you made yours 134/140 even more depressing than necessary, just so you could showcase some cutesy landscaping idea? Go imaginuck yourselves! Once I'd gotten this indignation out of my system, my second thought was: Gosh, they sure do put a lot of thought into this stuff. Leafing through these behind-the-scenes books (I also have The Imagineering Field Guide to Epcot) brings to light, yet again, the insane attention to detail you find at every Disney property. For instance, once you've made that transition from the parking lot, through the gates into the Animal Kingdom entrance area, the imagineers' next goal is to carefully orchestrate your first glimpse of the massive Tree of Life. (It's one of this park's two wienies—the other being a replica Mount Everest.) Various inclines, berms, and hollows have been arranged so that you're forced to ascend a small rise before suddenly stumbling onto a gorgeous, unimpeded view of the tree. (The tree itself is an impressive feat of engineering. And is, of course, totally fake.) I've been curious to see how this obsessive nano-focus would be reconciled with the challenges of a zoo. Live animals seem decidedly un-Disney, as they can't be compelled to perform a repeated, synchronized sequence. (Unlike an animatronic robot. Or a low-wage employee.) With the animals' free will involved, it's impossible to ensure that every guest will receive the same, focus-group-approved experience. This sort of thing makes the imagineers extremely uncomfortable. Their response was to make the animals into a sideshow. In many cases, you don't even get to watch the animals from a static viewing point, as you would at a regular zoo. Instead, there's a "ride" with a silly narrative structure (about, for instance, chasing poachers), during which you get quick, oblique glimpses of the animals as you speed by. The true stars of Animal Kingdom aren't the lions, apes, and elephants. The stars are the precision-crafted environments you walk through. Here, come with me as we visit the delightful little village of Harambe. Harambe is the perfect East African port town of your mind's eye. When you first come upon it, it's hard not to feel you've been teleported to Kenya. All the signs are in the right typeface. The buildings are lovingly dilapidated. The paint-color choices are perfect. (The imagineers say they took paint chip samples on research trips and did surface rubbings to get the building textures right.) Having traveled to Africa myself, I can tell you that Harambe gets only two minor details wrong. The first is that Africa has many more flies than this. And the second is that Africa has black people. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC Given the otherwise remarkable accuracy of Harambe's set design, I'm sort of surprised that Disney didn't manufacture 15,000 animatronic Africans. OK, so they did import a few actual, nonrobot Africans to work the snack stands. Jambo! But perhaps the bigger issue is: Where are the black tourists visiting the park? I've seen maybe two black families all day. As in the rest of Disney World, there are literally more French people here than African-Americans. Another population dynamic I've noticed: the dearth of children at this supposed family destination. I've seen lots of adult couples with no kids in tow. Even when there's a token toddler present, there are often six or seven grown-ups attached to it. I'm beginning to suspect it's the adults who really want to be here, while the kids are just serving as fig leaves. This theory is bolstered by a scene I witness while waiting in line for food. An elderly, gray-bearded gent is in front of me, trying to buy a soda, when all of a sudden he's interrupted by his twentysomething daughter, who is scurrying toward us. "Daaaaaad! She's not tall enough to go on the ride!" whines the woman, gesturing with a pout at the tiny girl clinging to her thigh. "So now I can't go! And you wandered off!" The man says nothing. "Take her hand," the woman demands. The poor old fellow is mortified by this behavior (and is in the middle of his beverage transaction, to boot). But he silently takes his granddaughter's hand so his horrid daughter can go enjoy her fricking roller coaster. Admittedly, Disney has some pretty great roller coasters. Toward the end of the day, I walk over to Anandapur (a fake Himalayan village, complete with Tibetan-style prayer flags) and board the Expedition Everest ride. I'm seated in a rickety rail car, which creaks up to the top of the 200-foot mountain before swooping, banking, and dropping at insane speeds. Everyone screams together. It's a group outpouring of white-knuckle terror. When the ride's over and I disembark, I find I've broken out in a light sweat. My dazed fellow riders look at each other in total awe: Can you believe what we just went through? The same thing happens on the nearby Kali River Rapids ride. There are seven other people on my raft, and as we float down the rushing river, I can feel us starting to gel into a team. We shout warnings to each other when the white water rages ahead. ("Look out, here it comes!") We catch each others' eyes and can't help but smile. The little girl sitting next to me cackles every time we get hit with a splash. She's shouting, "I'm soaked!" with a big, adorable grin. If I've found one redeeming feature of the Disney World experience, it's the community spirit that's fostered when strangers all join together for a primal shriek of fear—or joy. 135/140 From: Seth Stevenson Subject: Celebration and Downtown Disney Posted Thursday, March 27, 2008, at 7:44 AM ET I've spent three straight days inside the Disney World fortress. The incessant magicalness is starting to wear on me. I'm feeling a need to escape Big Rodent's clutchy claws. At the same time, I don't want to risk too much corruption from outside influences. I'd rather not stray too far—geographically or spiritually. The perfect compromise: a visit to Celebration. This insta-town was conceived by Disney, built on Disneyowned land, and initially managed by Disney executives (though the company has shed much of its involvement over time). And it's only a few miles from my hotel. I make the short drive, park my car downtown, and hop out for a look. I've long been a fan of planned communities. I once lobbied my editor at Newsweek to let me write a story about Co-op City— those ugly brick apartment towers in the Bronx, N.Y., next to I95. My resulting (very short) article included a quote terming Co-op City's architecture "a disgrace to humanity." The piece also noted that Co-op City had been constructed on the rubble of an abandoned theme park. The park was called Freedomland, and it was the creation of a former Walt Disney associate. Celebration, though it wasn't built until the 1990s, was in some ways the creation of Walt himself. Walt's original plan for his Florida swampland was to create a brand-new living town—the true Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow. Celebration is the belated (and mangled) realization of that dream. Walt had envisioned a high-tech, sci-fi city, in appearance not unlike Epcot's Future World area (monorails whizzing by and whatnot). That's not how things turned out. Celebration is instead backward looking, with neotraditional, faux-prewar houses. Its old-timey, Norman Rockwell vibe is less Future World and more Main Street U.S.A. Celebration's planners were proponents of New Urbanism (in itself a somewhat nostalgic credo, what with its emphasis on marginalizing the automobile). The town's layout is pedestrianfriendly, the retail and restaurant district is a short stroll from many houses, and all the car garages are hidden in rear alleys not visible from the street. Sure enough, within moments of my arrival, I find myself smack in the middle of a New Urbanist/Rockwellian moment: children walking home from school together as a friendly crossing guard holds up his stop sign. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC The thing is, I can't help but wonder if these kids might be animatronic. Everything looks waaaaay too perfect. The town famously has a strict rulebook legislating things such as yard upkeep, what color your curtains can be, and what kind of furniture (if any) you can put on your porch. This results in a place so scrubbed of individuality that the houses seem to resent their human residents. All the streets here have the same power-washed gleam as the streets in the Disney theme parks. The neighborhoods have the same built-all-at-once aesthetic. I actually like some of the downtown buildings designed by shnazzy architects. (Favorites include the toylike post office by Michael Graves and the retro cinema by Cesar Pelli—though I feel Philip Johnson's town hall with its forest of pillars is a facile, unfunny joke.) But having spent the last few days surrounded by maddeningly perfect Disney habitats, I'm now getting the sinking sense that I haven't escaped the Mouse at all. Celebration forces upon you the same seamless, manufactured experience you get when you walk through the "villages" of Harambe and Anandapur. The inhabitants of Celebration are essentially living inside a theme park. (We might call it Suburb Land.) Each night when the park shuts down, they're still inside the gates. In the evening, I decide to check out downtown Disney, back inside the fortress. It's basically a very high-end strip mall—with a Planet Hollywood instead of an Applebee's, and a Virgin Megastore instead of a Hot Topic. I grab dinner at Bongos Cuban Café (celebrity owner: Gloria Estefan) and then stroll over to Pleasure Island as it gets dark. Pleasure Island is where adults on vacation at Disney go at night to escape their children. Also here: businesspeople stuck in Orlando for conferences and locals who treat this as their regular hangout. (Pleasure Island doesn't require a Disney Pass.) There's a club for every taste, from the disco lounge (8-Trax) to the hiphop spot (BET Soundstage) to the mainstream, top-40 dancehall (Motion). A single cover charge gets you in to all the clubs, all night. So people bounce back and forth among the venues. This creates the sort of nightlife melting pot that you rarely, if ever, find in the real world. Because it's Disney, and we all feel safe and emboldened, no one's afraid to venture into what might be perceived as alien territory. Nerdy white people stride confidently into the "black" club. Older couples wade onto dance floors packed with whippersnappers. Gay dudes sashay through the redneck-y rock club. (When I say that, I'm not trying to play on a stereotype. I literally watched three gay men prance about and do ballet jumps while the house band played Lynyrd Skynyrd. These guys 136/140 were egging each other on, trying to get a rise out of the crowd, but none of the lumpy heteros seemed to pay any mind.) I find the whole scene oddly hopeful—at first. If people can all get along together here, maybe we can bring that tolerance back home with us. As the night wears on, though, different groups begin to self-segregate. Early in the evening, for instance, I had a drink at a club called Mannequins. It had a mixed crowd: moms and dads in dorky khakis, some college-age kids getting blitzed, and one pair of gay guys dancing up a storm under the disco ball. I was heartened by the diversity. But it didn't last. When I popped back a few hours later, I ordered a drink and scanned the room again. It appeared the demographics had undergone a radical shift. Now there were 150 men positively swarming the rotating dance floor. They were accompanied by about three women. And I couldn't help but notice that these men, as a group, seemed extraordinarily handsome, trim, and well-dressed. Ohhhhhhhhhh. I suppose that name should have been a clue, now that I think about it. Anyway, it's all good in the Disney 'hood. When we envision a "magic kingdom," we, each of us, have our own ideas. From: Seth Stevenson Subject: The Magic Kingdom Posted Friday, March 28, 2008, at 11:39 AM ET Inside every Disney theme park, you'll find at least one booth— often more than one—stocked with information about Disney Vacation Club Resorts. A nice man or woman will hand you a brochure, offer to take you on a tour of model rooms, and talk you through a few different time-share options. Apparently, it's a terrific deal if you want to bring your family back to Disney World every year. Query: Why would anyone want to go to Disney World every year? You can pretty much see the whole thing in a week. OK, fine, kids might like it enough to go back again—once, or maybe twice. But this time share makes financial sense only if you return about seven times. Holy frack! I'd go mental if I had to spend seven precious vacations trapped inside the Disney universe. But let's put my Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC personal feelings aside. Let's say you're a parent. Mightn't it be better to broaden your children's horizons just a tad? Like, maybe visit Canada—instead of just the Canada pavilion in Epcot? According to Disney, there are more than 100,000 member families in the Vacation Club. These people have handed over all their foreseeable leisure time to the Walt Disney Co. It's an astonishing decision, no? And it's surely less about a destination than an ideology. We'll call it Disneyism. These families aren't choosing a vacation so much as a religion. Walt Disney, the man, is a singular character in American history. He gets his start as an animator, then becomes a movie mogul, an amusement park baron, and eventually a mythmaker—a sort of unprecedented high priest of American childhood. By the mid-1960s, with his techno-utopian plans for the living city of Epcot, Walt had even turned into (in the words of anthropologist Stephen M. Fjellman) "a social planner and futurist philosopher." It's these later incarnations of Walt that really fascinate me. The guy is sculpting the toddler id while also designing a domed metropolis with a monorail. How did this happen? A man who got famous drawing a cartoon mouse was now going to solve all America's urban problems? It's hard to think of a comparable career arc. But as a parallel, evil-twin figure, consider Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard. He was born 10 years after Walt, also in heartland America. His career likewise took off on the strength of mass-market entertainments (in Hubbard's case, sci-fi). And then midcentury—during that Atomic Age moment when everything somehow seemed possible—he turned his attention to a grand, ego-gratifying social project of dubious utility. Who knows what ambitions might have bubbled up in Walt if he'd lived past 1966. But I think one way to look at his life is as L. Ron Hubbard gone good. This is a long way of saying: Disney isn't just a media outfit with some theme parks. It's a worldview—sprung from the head of a lone, imaginative man. And ultimately, for the people who come back to Orlando year after year, it's a church. On my last day here, I visit the Magic Kingdom—the original and still best-attended of the Disney World parks. After walking down Main Street U.S.A. (a fake, turn-of-the-century boulevard lined with yet more Disney souvenir stores), I come upon the famous Cinderella castle. Fairy-tale spires everywhere. It's so gleaming, it looks like they repaint it every night. (Over the last several years, furthering my Disney-as-religion theory, the castle has become a prime location for wedding ceremonies. Up to five weddings per day are held on Disney World's grounds. Mickey and other characters will even attend your wedding reception. For a fee.) 137/140 As I get closer to the castle, I see the familiar Disney apostles (Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Goofy) performing musical numbers on a stage, enthralling a large crowd. The lyrics to their songs shuffle around a few key words—dreams, magic, imagination, wonder—and weave them into some upbeat string arrangements. Hymns for the Disneyist congregation. Many of the little girls watching this are wearing princess dresses (bought at those souvenir stores). For years, Disney must have sought a boys' version of the princess obsession, and it seems they've finally found it—thanks to the blockbuster Pirates of the Caribbean films. Lots of little dudes are running around in pirate costumes, waving plastic swords. Designed for the UNICEF pavilion at the 1964 World's Fair, it shows us children of many cultures all living in harmony. (A color-saturated, Pop Art harmony.) It's an unassailable message, and there's also something comforting in the ride's retro simplicity. Our open-top boat floats along, and I love the gentle bump and redirect when it hits an underwater guide rail. I even have a soft spot for the music. (Though I prefer to reimagine it as a slow, melancholy ballad.) As I leave the park, I decide that after all my cranky complaining, I'm glad my week came to an end this way. "It's a Small World" makes for a nice, pleasant memory to finish on. I'm feeling positive about Disney again. And then there's an incident on the parking tram. Disney has increasingly managed to find characters to leverage for each different demographic group. Tinkerbell, from Peter Pan, has been rebranded as the slightly saucier "Tink" and now graces T-shirts targeted at your tween daughter. Meanwhile, your death-metal son will be drawn to the skull-and-bones imagery of The Nightmare Before Christmas franchise. I'm seated on the tram, ready to ride back out to the parking lot where my rental car's waiting. The driver has already blown the horn and announced that no more boarding will be allowed. Suddenly, I notice a woman 20 yards away, running toward us. Even adults wear Disney gear here. There are moms in Mickey ears and dads with giant sorcerer hats. This is a safe place for everyone to act like a kid, and I'll admit there's a certain sweetness about that. The driver spots her too. The tram is in motion now, and he screams over the loudspeaker: "Ma'am! Stand back! There is no more boarding!" But the woman can see that there's no real danger here—the vehicle is moving at, like, 3 miles an hour— and fer crissakes she doesn't want to wait 15 minutes for another tram if she doesn't have to. I'm not a fan of the gender dynamic implicit in the princess/pirate split. (Visiting Mickey and Minnie's side-by-side houses does little to reassure me on this score. Mickey's house has a nonfunctioning kitchen and is full of sports equipment, while Minnie has a to-do list on her wall with the entries "Bake a cake for Mickey" and "Make a box lunch for Mickey.") Still, my heart melts when I see a little girl wearing a princess dress while sitting in her wheelchair, beaming ear to ear as her even beamier parents take pictures. I can understand why families love Disney World. And there's nothing wrong with making kids happy. I just think we'd all be better off if we didn't indoctrinate our kids in the Disneyist dogma. After spending the past five days here, I've come to the conclusion that Disney World teaches kids three things: 1) a meaningless, bubble-headed utopianism, 2) a grasping, whining consumerism, and 3) a preference for soulless facsimiles of culture and architecture instead of for the real thing. I suppose it also teaches them that monorails are cool. So there's that. I end my day with the "It's a Small World" ride. Yes, it's a prime example of bubble-headed utopianism. Yes, it features animatronics, which are dated and lame. And yes, that song just never ends. No matter: The ride somehow manages to charm me anyway. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC The driver keeps shouting. The other passengers are tut-tutting at this rule-breaker. The tram keeps rolling. The woman is getting nearer. As I watch all this, I start to think about the totalitarian seamlessness of Disney. The berms that hide the loading docks and the Dumpsters. The fireworks that go off every night at precisely 9 p.m. The impeccably G-rated entertainment. The synchronized rides. The power-washed streets. "Ma'am!" the driver yells again, with real exasperation. She's just a few strides away, with her eyes on that slow-moving prize. "Ma'am, there is no more boarding at this time!" I can't help but break into a satisfied grin as the woman hops up on the running board and takes a seat. xx factor xxtra Unnecessarily Evil Reclaiming the morality of abortion and the overdue change to the Democratic platform. By Linda Hirshman Tuesday, August 12, 2008, at 6:20 PM ET 138/140 The Democratic Party platform of 2008 finally dropped its old abortion language ("safe, legal and rare"), which had asked that women not have abortions unless they absolutely must. The 2008 platform, just announced, says instead, "The Democratic Party strongly and unequivocally supports Roe v. Wade and a woman's right to choose a safe and legal abortion, regardless of ability to pay, and we oppose any and all efforts to weaken or undermine that right." Should a woman desire to bear her child, the Dems advocate prenatal care, income support, and adoption programs to help her there, too. But in the world of the new Democratic platform, it's the woman's decision to make. In 1973, the Supreme Court ruled by a margin of 7-2 in Roe v. Wade that women—not their husbands, their doctors, or their legislatures—must be the ones to decide whether to bear or beget a child. Edward Lazarus, who clerked for the author of that opinion, Justice Harry Blackmun, called the decision "the Emancipation Proclamation for American women." But if Roe was Emancipation, the past three decades have felt like the Jim Crow South. Unable to repeal the decision itself, opponents made abortion as illegitimate as possible. The Hyde Amendment pulled Medicaid financing for the poorest and most desperate women. In 1992, the Clinton campaign reframed abortion as an unpleasant last resort. Last term, the Supreme Court finally broke, affirming the criminalization of certain late-term abortions. And Democratic candidate Barack Obama, in The Audacity of Hope, compared women's regrets over their past abortions to white people's regrets about past bigotry. This Clintonian compromise—that abortion was a necessary moral evil—had become the most progressives could hope for. With the release of the new platform, and so long as the Obama campaign doesn't cast the platform into purgatory and pick an anti-abortion candidate—like Virginia Gov. Tim Kaine—for vice president, the emancipation of women may once again become a legitimate political position. It is time to revive the moral argument for protecting a woman's right to choose: Abortion is about the value of women's lives. Liberals have never won anything by reframing moral questions as pragmatic ones; they end up looking shifty and evasive. Whatever else it has been doing, the Supreme Court has always framed its decisions about the legality of abortion in moral terms. The decision in Roe to protect women's reproductive choices grew out of earlier cases protecting ordinary means of birth control as a matter of "privacy." It was only over the course of its long philosophical evolution on abortion that the court silently changed the meaning of privacy from the morally neutral secrecy to autonomy, a moral claim for the individual's right to shape her own life. When, in 1986, Justice Byron White attempted to argue that disputed questions of abortion were best resolved by referring these questions to the states, Justice John Paul Stevens insisted Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC that the only proper decision-maker in such a crucial matter was the mother. Similarly, in their landmark 1992 abortion decision in Planned Parenthood v. Casey, Justices Sandra Day O'Connor, Anthony Kennedy, and David Souter agreed that "at the heart of liberty is the right to define one's own concept of existence, of meaning, of the universe, and of the mystery of human life." The gay-rights movement best illuminates the need to emphasize the role of morality in politics. In 1986, the Supreme Court decided Bowers v. Hardwick, upholding the constitutionality of criminal penalties for gay sodomy. Choice, said the five-justice majority, although available for a wide range of decisions (including abortion), was not available for conduct we consider really, really icky. (They didn't say that explicitly; they put the words in the mouth of the "Judeo-Christian" tradition and let the priests say it for them.) Just as Bowers was decided, however, the AIDS epidemic motivated and enabled gay people to tell the world why their behavior was moral. As gay men began to die, they and their loved ones began to write about their relationships, their shared homes, and their desire—going back to Homer—to bury those they loved. At the same time, lesbians, who had been fighting for their children after divorces and for the families they were creating with donor insemination— publicly told the story of their own moral commitments. By the time the Supreme Court faced the previously sinful gay litigants again in Lawrence v. Texas, 17 years later, the decision went the other way. It is impossible to read the two opinions and ignore the change in moral climate that produced the legal shift. And although recent polling fails to reveal a majority supporting gay marriage, the numbers have been steadily improving. After 30 years of ghastly representations of abortion by the right and weak-kneed defenses by the left, one would expect public support for abortion to have plummeted. Although most polling experts contend that American beliefs about abortion have been roughly stable, the deeper picture is ominous. About 20 percent of those polled believe abortion should never be allowed, and about 20 percent think it should always be allowed. About 60 percent think it should be allowed under certain limited circumstances. If you unpack that crucial 60 percent, however, even these "centrists" only firmly support abortion in cases in which there is rape, incest, or a threat to the mother's life or health. Just over half of them support abortion in the case of physical or mental defects in the prospective baby. And when asked whether a woman should abort if she or her family could not afford to raise the child, the support for abortion drops to 35 percent. This polling data represents the price of progressives' refusal to make the moral argument. Women bear the overwhelming majority of child-rearing responsibility in this society. Yet barely more than half of the moderate centrists would allow them to decide whether to abort—even in face of a physical or mental 139/140 defect in the prospective child. Women, whose economic prospects plummet with the birth of a child, now face 65 percent majorities who would support criminalizing their decision to abort because they are too poor for parenthood. Guttmacher Institute abortion numbers reveal that these same poor women are disproportionately black and Hispanic. It is fair to conclude that a lot of abortions, regardless of race, are about women seeking the flourishing life prospects that our current moralityfree discourse completely conceals. In the 30-some years since Roe v. Wade, somewhere between 18 million and 30 million American women—15 percent to 20 percent of the female American population—have terminated their pregnancies. More than 10 years ago, a movement I'll call the Post-Abortion Syndrome movement began to shift the argument against abortion to the harm done to women. Not surprisingly, in a population of many millions, the PAS movement found a few thousand women who signed affidavits about their regrets at having had abortions. thinkers conclude, must always be a mistake, the product of incomplete information or logic, and, in time, must produce regret, depression, and loss of self-esteem. The wrong question will always lead to the wrong answer. Not coincidentally, the founding text of the Post-Abortion Syndrome movement is called "Making Abortion Rare." The Democratic platform of 2008 offers an opportunity to put an end to this selfdestructive cycle of Safe, Legal, and Rare, otherwise known as regret, depression, and self-denigration. In its place, it can finally argue for the value of women's lives. Above rubies sounds about right to me. Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC 140/140 Last year, in Gonzalez v. Carhart, the Supreme Court, for the first time, upheld the constitutionality of a federal law criminalizing a type of abortion. In his opinion for the court, Justice Kennedy wrote that "Respect for human life finds an ultimate expression in the bond of love the mother has for her child ... it seems unexceptionable to conclude some women come to regret their choice to abort the infant life they once created and sustained. Severe depression and loss of esteem can follow." In Kennedy's view it was best to spare women such regrets. Indeed it was better still not to allow doctors to perform these procedures at all. Others have dissected Justice Kennedy's bizarre logic in detail. But what most have missed is that his opinion in Carhart rested on the assumption, ceded so long ago by liberals, that abortions are a necessary evil. There is no serious scientific evidence for any of the justice's findings that a remotely cognizable percentage of the 18 million to 30 million living American abortion recipients have suffered regret, severe depression, and loss of esteem. The American Psychiatric Association has directly refuted any such claim time and again. Why, then, did Justice Kennedy feel so comfortable—indeed, "unexceptionable" —in asserting it? Why, more interestingly, did the Democratic candidate for president similarly invoke the image of the "middle-aged feminist who regrets her abortion" in The Audacity of Hope? Because they suspect abortion is morally wrong. In the absence of a robust description of the value of women's lives—their ability to develop their capacities through education, to use them to achieve economic independence and political citizenship, to take on only the relationships they can manage—there is no moral argument for their "choice" to have an abortion. Set against the sound of nothing, the smallest moral claim of the potential human life looms large. Such an immoral act, moral Copyright 2008 Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Co. LLC 140/140