Social Identity Paper
Eric is gone… I am now the only Hendey at University High School. As I watch
him walk off to drive the PT Cruiser home one last time, I realize how a part he is in my
own place in society. Yes, most people first knew me as “Eric’s Brother,” but it’s only
my sophomore year of high school. I will create my own image, I will earn my place. As
I walk into Room 18, my mom calls me.
* * *
“Well, I suppose that you are here for some reason or another…” the creature
mused vaguely. “You humans are all so existential.”
“Of course I’m here for a reason!” I realized. “I want to find myself. I want to
find my identity.”
* * *
“So you already said you said goodbye to Eric? I know he stopped by school to
come find you.”
I can hear the Christian music in the background of her office at our house over
the phone. It’s always playing now; she’s busy writing another book.
“Uh… Yeah. I said goodbye. Hey, I have Jazz right now, remember?” I tell her.
“Oh, ok. I just can’t believe Eric is leaving… Anyways, I’ll come get you at five.
Bye Adam, I love you!” My mom says.
“Bye Mom.”
* * *
It was very peculiar in appearance. The creature had two eyes, and they looked
very human; they were bright and intuitive, but very calculating. I still couldn’t tell
whether it was male or female, but I like to think of it as a “he”. It had a very muscular,
lean physique, and the greenish scales covering “his” body” looked very reptilian. I
decided I should start a conversation. He certainly didn’t seem very interested in me.
“So, is there a reason you’ve brought me here?”
* * *
After Jazz Band, I’m going to walk out of Room 18, go down the ramp, and then
turn left. I will take three steps, at which point I will encounter Tyler Godinho. He will
yell, “HELLO MR. HENDEY!!!!” To which I will respond, “HEY MR. GODINHO!!!!”
And then we will walk together. He and I will have a conversation that isn’t necessarily
going to be important.
* * *
“So, you think you’re here to find your identity… A very typical guess. A very
human guess. But unfortunately, you will never find your identity. I understand this is
hard for your human mind to comprehend, but ‘hang with me, bro.’ That is a popular
phrase among you humans, correct?” The creature queried.
“What? What are you talking about?! Why wouldn’t I find my identity?” I was
becoming distressed.
“Well you see, there’s no such thing as identity. Because we can only ever be sure
that we ourselves are real, there is no such thing as “society”, or “culture.” Things like
this are simply constructs of the weak human mind in an attempt to alleviate itself of
loneliness, which plagues it.” The creature stated, in a matter-of-fact manner that irritated
me to no end.
“But what do you mean by that? How can society not exist?” I asked.
“It’s really very simple. When you think about it, there’s no proof at all that other
humans exist. You can see only from your own perspective, therefore eliminating any
possibility of there being anyone else in your world. For all you know, the other “people”
around you are merely figments of your imagination, facets of your personality reflected
back at you.”
“No, that doesn’t make sense. If there were no people, how would I exist? Who
would have given birth to me other than my mother?”
“I think you are missing the point,” the creature continued. “There is no such
thing as time. There is no future, or past. There is only NOW. Which means that none of
this exists. Not me, not this world, this universe, or anything you’ve ever thought you’ve
known.” The creature sat down now, looking very smug. I was disgusted by that
expression on his lizard-like face.
* * *
I woke up one morning, and, with my eyes still closed, rolled out of bed… Onto a
hard steel floor. The cold metal on my face jolted me into consciousness. As I looked
around me, I realized that I was in fact no longer in my room, but I actually seemed to be
on some kind of ship.
“Where am I?” I thought aloud.
A strange voice called out from just around the corner, “Ahh, you’re awake!
Wonderful! We shall have the most interesting conversations, I’m sure. You see, I’ve
never kidnapped a human before, so I’m excited for this experience.”
I looked to the direction of the voice, and saw an unusual creature swagger around
the corner. This definitely was the strangest awakening I had ever experienced.
* * *
When my conversation with Tyler is finished, I’m going to go find my mom. She
will be sitting in her car out in the parking lot, and as I open the car door, she will ask me
how my school day is. In fact, she will ask me a lot of things; what homework will I
have, what I will want for dinner, that sort of thing. In twelve minutes, an oncoming car
will hit us. Neither of us are going to be hurt though; we’re in an SUV. The other driver,
however, won’t be so lucky. In twelve very short minutes, his identity will cease to exist.
* * *
“Is that so?” I said pertly. “Well, I think you’re wrong about that. Of
course there’s time. LOOK AT THE STORY WHICH WE ARE A PART OF!! MS.
BERGEN UNDERSTANDS THAT TIME EXISTS!!!! That is, it exists in the context of
this story, which is our reality.” It was all so real.
* * *
It hits me like a thunderbolt. I AM ME! I’m standing in the door of Room 18. I
am fifteen years old. I’m a boy. I’m a sophomore at University High School, I’m a citizen
of Fresno, of California, of America, of the world. I love playing Irish music. I’m a
musician! I am a fencer, I am an artist. I like ice skating. I am a person who loves what’s
around him. I will always be like this. THIS is my identity! I am Adam Hendey.
* * *
I think what irked me the most about him was his air of ‘rightness’. He truly
believed that nothing was real. It was so confusing… How could there be no time? How
could there be no identity? Everyone has an identity… and I will find mine. Even if it’s
always changing, even if it hides from me, I WILL FIND IT.
I had to leave. I had to get away from this alien thing. But then something very
odd happened… There were three flashes of light. I heard a voice:
“THIS IS THE NARRATOR CHANGING THE SCENE!”
* * *
I’m getting out of class now, and I need to go to Jazz soon. I’m wondering about
my identity…. What it is now, what it was before, and what it will be in the future. I
realize something; my identity is always changing. In every time of my life, I was, am,
and will be different than I am now. And in a way, that is really the only constant thing
about my identity: it will always change, no matter what. Nothing can stop the flow of
time, or the influence of society. But what is my identity? I guess I will find out someday.
Eric is gone… I am now the only Hendey at University High School.