Jane Doe
Ms. Mason
AP Literature & Comp.
4 May 2008
“Rites of Passage” in a Violent World
In Sharon Olds’ “Rites of Passage,” she explores the development of gender identity for
boys. The speaker of the poem is the mother of a first grader who watches her son play with
other boys at her son’s birthday party. Instead of playing the typical games one would expect
from such a party, the boys imitate the adult world around them. Eventually, their play hints at
violence. Instead of being a celebration of youth, the birthday party ironically becomes a rite of
passage in which her child begins to enter a violent adult world in first grade. Through her choice
of diction, figurative language, irony, and syntax, Olds points out that we live in a violent society
where young boys are initiated into the harsh world of adults so early, that they do not
experience the innocence they should be afforded.
Olds begins her poem with a mother observing the party she is throwing for her son. The
diction she uses to first describe the boys initiates the idea of the loss of innocence. The boys are
first described as “guests” (1), a suggestion of adult formality. She then goes on to describe the
boys through a metaphor as “short men in first grade” (3). Describing the boys as “men” is
distinct since the concept of first grade hardly connotes any sense of manhood. The juxtaposition
of the “first grad[ers]” to “men” illustrates how this concept is ridiculous. The visual image of
their “smooth jaws and chins” (4) further emphasizes just how young they truly are.
The mother continues watching the boys as they put their “hands in pockets” (5), a very
adult gesture. There’s a hint that they may be a bit apprehensive in this social environment and
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they “stand around jostling, jockeying for place” (5-6) with “small fights breaking out and
calming” (6-7). The way they handle their uncomfortable feeling is to fight. This results with
“small fights” that eventually lead to “calming” (7). Olds seems to be making a commentary
about our society—men in the adult world use violence as a tool for overcoming insecurity.
A discussion is generated among the boys: “How old are you? —Six. —I’m seven. —
So?” (8). Thus, the competitive nature begins to manifest itself as the eldest flaunts his age.
Since “they eye each other, seeing themselves / tiny in the other’s pupils” (9-10), they want to
appear larger than their peers. With so little to hold over another’s head, age becomes the status
symbol. At such a young age, they are already vying for power using whatever leverage they
have.
The mother of the guest of honor then notices that the boys “clear their throats a lot” (1011). One does not associate such an auditory image with children so young. Clearing throats is an
act that is typically associated with adults as a way to garner attention. The mother furthers the
idea of adult posturing through a metaphor in which the boys are equated to “a room of small
bankers” (11). The idea of children role playing at any gathering is not uncommon. When they
do take on adult roles, they usually select from the more heroic models they see in comic books
or movies. It is not unusual to see children pretend to be superheroes or boys taking turns playing
cops and robbers. One does not expect boys to behave like “bankers.” The fact that “they fold
their arms and frown” (11) indicates a lack of enjoyment. Olds might be foreshadowing the
possible future that awaits the boys. Many people eventually find employment in areas that are a
bit lackluster and a far cry from the imaginative futures created in their childhood play. Olds
seems to suggest that the gap between childhood imagination and the harsh reality of adulthood
seems to be closing too soon for some of these boys.
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The children’s play becomes a bit more aggressive when one says to another, “I could
beat you up” (12-13). The party celebration starts to take on an aggressive atmosphere. His
confidence is strengthened by the “midnight cake, round and heavy as a / turret behind them on
the table” (14-15). This powerful metaphor compares the cake, a symbol of the celebration, as a
gun tower on a battleship. Such a piece of heavy machinery would bolster anyone’s confidence
when threatening another person. This birthday party is no longer about childish fun and the joy
of celebrating life begins to fade behind military imagery.
Although the children seem to lack the innocence of first graders, the speaker is highly
aware of their young age. The visual imagery she uses to describe her own son emphasizes his
youth. She still sees the “freckles like specks of nutmeg on his cheeks” (16). “Freckles” are
almost synonymous with youth and the “nutmeg” indicates there is still spice to her son. She
notices that his “chest [is] narrow as the balsa keel of a model boat” (17-18). This simile
indicates that despite the aggressive overtones of the party, she still recognizes how fragile he
really is. The nostalgia for youth is further developed as she uses birth imagery to remind herself
of how his “long hands / cool and thin … guided him out of [her] ” (18-20). Although her son
seems to move quickly from birth passage to a contemporary rite of passage, what she witnesses
at the party is not strong enough to diminish the fact that he is so young and that his hands are
not too different form the day he was born. In her eyes, he is still her baby.
After this nostalgic observation of the speaker’s son’s birth, Olds cleverly juxtaposes this
image with the harshest line in the poem. Her son “speaks up as a host / for the sake of the
group” (20-21) and points out that they “could easily kill a two-year old” (22). Instead of
continuing the infighting that has begun, he realizes that they could join forces against a common
enemy. Again, the desire for power mimics the adult world in which the boys live. Being the
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source for the gathering probably gives her son the additional confidence to take on the role of
the “leader” using his “clear voice” (23). Such young children at a children’s birthday party
should not feel the need to have someone fill the role of a leader since such a necessity is
unnecessary. Olds is emphasizing the male need to organize and take charge since threats seem
to always be nearby. The fact that a “two-year old,” someone barely older than a baby, becomes
the target further emphasizes the harsh reality of the adult male world. Not only are adult men
aggressive and feel the need to attack, but the innocent become the collateral for such aggression.
Olds ends her poem with another metaphor in which the boys are given adult roles—the
“men agree, they clear their throats / like Generals” (24-25). No one seems to find the speaker’s
son’s statement absurd and blindly go along with his suggestion to kill a “two-year old.” The
simile comparing the children to “Generals” reiterates the aggressive and war-like nature of these
boys. The poem ends with this group consensus of the killing “relax[ing the boys as they] get
down to playing war, celebrating” (25-26) her son’s life. The agreement between the boys to be
allies in their fight becomes ironic since this relaxes them and constitutes a celebration. One does
not celebrate life through killing. But such is the nature of the world upon which Olds reflects.
Whereas the typical rite of passage in our culture takes the form of a confirmation, bar
mitzvah, or even the acquirement of a driver’s license, Olds observes that children are now
initiated into adulthood much earlier. Violence is so rampant in our society, that the teenage
years no longer signify the end of childhood. Children as young as her son are exposed to so
much violence before the age of six or seven, that they mimic aggressive behavior before they
even have a chance to understand it. The resigned dismay of the poem’s speaker indicates that
the behavior she witnesses is beyond her control since it has become the norm. Children who
come into this world are groomed to shed their youth too soon.