Brandie Samuel
September 29, 2007
English 100 11:30-12:20
Androgynous
Sitting in this nice little coffee shop with my best friend as are weekly get together. I am
just more or less listening to her complain about one of her new boyfriends, and how all men act
the same none of them are sweet or caring any more according to her. It’s making me feel sorry
for her. She doesn’t realize that all men are not like that. She just doesn’t know how to pick men.
She believes that all men are the same. But she has never ran across and androgynous man like I
have. They know how to be sensitivity, compassionate, and they show you what they are feeling
and are not afraid to tell you that they do not know something.
I’ve tried to tell her this but she just doesn’t believe me that there are sensitive men out
there. Her view is no matter what men is be like the “all-man man” that author Amy Gross
describes. “They play and watch football, tell dirty jokes about broads or chicks” (Amy Gross
160). Not only that they don’t know how to eat properly. “Their idea of nutrition doesn’t expand
beyond a six-pack and pretzels” (Amy Gross 160). “Also they have no taste in food, art, books,
movies, theatre, how to live, what are good questions, what is funny, or anything else that I care
about” (Amy Gross 160). Which are similar to all the guys that she has ever dated are like. She
has never seen the sensitivity that some men actually do have. They aren’t afraid to tell you how
they feel. Give you there honest opinion.
What makes men afraid to show any sort of compassion? Not just at home. You would
never see an “all-man man” showing any sort of compassion in public. Is it because they are
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afraid of being labeled as gay? If so then you just fix the problem, which has a very simple
answer. You find yourself an androgynous man. When I told her that she didn’t even know what
an androgynous man was. “It is a male that has bout male and female characteristics” (Amy
Gross 160). She thought I was joking that there was a man out there that had any female
qualities. “They are not necessarily a wimp” (Noel Perrin 156). An androgynous man gets mush
when the see little kids doing something cute. They also help take care of their children not just
let the women take care of them. A main difference between the two is that the androgynous man
is not afraid to be how he really is he lets everything out. You won’t ever have to guess if he
really cares of if he is just pretending to be this way. He really is that way. An androgynous man
is not afraid to tell you he doesn’t know something. Or show you how he feels.
When I told her that they tell you how they feel and show it, she thought that I was
joking. But kid you not I have had boyfriends (who are androgynous) who have cried with me in
during a movie and have become scared with me. It doesn’t mean that they are any less manly
then any other man. It just means that they are comfortable with who they are. Noel Perrin
admits that he too cries during Siobhan McKenna’s emotional scene (158). While he was
younger he felt that he could not cry he had to suppress that weakness (158). Maybe that’s why
men feel like it is a weakness when they grow up. It is how they were raised. You can’t cry
because it will mean that you are not very manly, and you could get looked down upon. Plus you
have to know everything about anything consider manly.
An androgynous man knows that he doesn’t know everything about a car or how to fix
everything. And he has come to accept that. But this “all-man man” has to pretend that they do.
The androgynous man has to make some comment when going to the mechanics to show that he
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too is actually a man and not some wimp that doesn’t know anything about cars (158).
According to Noel Perrin “I am completely unembarrassed by my inability to diagnose even
minor problems in whatever object I happen to be driving” (157-158). Not every man has to
know everything about cars or how to fix them. That’s why there are mechanics so we don’t
have to worry about it. Sure I know most people like to believe that they are just for women but
they are not.
Through all of this my friend has doubt. Sure there are always going to be a man who is
going to be very manly, but there are also the men that really care and have female qualities.
They will go around and open the door for you no matter what. Treat you with more respect then
what they treat their friends. You will be able to tell the difference. Some men try to act like they
are partial androgynous just to get your attention. But every act comes to an end and you will see
who they really are. As I finish telling her about the more appealing men, I had her wishing for
one. But the said thing is that there won’t be men out there truly androgynous in every aspect.
You just have to look hard for what you want and not to settle for anything else.
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