Eulogy
Dad was born Ronald Ernest James just over 80 years ago on 17th December 1929 in a
house on Dominion Road, Mt Roskill.
He attended a school in Mt Albert until he was 10yo when they moved to England with his
mother (Grace) and two brothers, Aunt Fanny and her son John Bennett and Dad’s
Grandmother between 1939 to 1945. Most of their time was spent in the south of England,
although they did spend time in Scotland where Dad’s little sister Sheena was born. During the
bombings, he hated going into the shelters so he and his brothers would hide up top and watch
the bombs drop.
I think this is where he honed his entrepreneurial skills, he had told stories of how, when
everything was rationed, he would arrange to have a number of kids get together and collect
apples then he would organise them to sell the apples in town for a commission. He also
managed the local paper round and conducted raffles - so he was coming up with ideas even
as a boy.
Dad was a natural at arithmetic (old school maths) and could easily do calculations in his head;
this ability regularly earned him the strap as his teachers thought he was cheating.
The family returned on a ship full of war brides, the trip also meant they put marbles on the
floor to catch him when he was sleep-walking.
They returned to Papatoetoe NZ, in 1946 (living in Birdwood Ave). His youth gave him an
opportunity to do all those things boys just love doing – he rode motorcycles, was involved in
sprint cars racing out at Western Springs, doing up his sports car and finding ways of making
money.
At 18 he had joined the Army as a Territorial (he was blocked from joining the Regular Force
by his Mum), so he tried again at 23 and was attested on 27 Jan 1953 and posted into 7th
Reinforcements bound for Korea. Once there he was posted to 16 Field Reg as driver and was
later transferred to 10 Coy RNZASC as a driver, and ended up attaining the rank of Sergeant,
driving around a Brigadier. It was here he was awarded a number of medals that he was
always very proud of – these were:
1.
The Korea Medal plus Bar
2.
United Nations Medal for Korea
3.
Korean War Service Medal (Issued by Korea)
4.
The New Zealand Operational Service Medal
Dad loved his time in the Army and at the right time would tell stories about when he was
there.
On his return to NZ in Dec 1954 for 28 days leave and waiting for his return to Korea after
having signed up for another stint, Grace apparently wrote a letter to the Army requesting that
he be released from duty as she needed him at home. Six months later he meet Colleen and
they had their first child, myself in 1959, then Joanna 1960, Garth in 1963 then Robert in 1966.
Dad, as I remember him was always the entrepreneur, but he also had a desire to help run
clubs and groups for kids including a very successful marching team “The Gloucester’s Own” lead by his sister Sheena - rifle clubs, pony clubs (even finding horses for kids that could not
afford them). In fact this entrepreneurial spirit stayed with him right to the end – he even
wanted to start a café in Umina. Dad’s problem was he could never sit still and when he did it
was to think what the next challenge would be or to suggest ideas to others when having
conversations.
I remember us kids growing up and being shown how to make so many things and to fix an
even bigger number of things - from engines and electrical equipment to building sheds and
making fibreglass boats and putting a farm together and making it work. He really was a jack of
all trades in the traditional sense.
He loved animals and could not stand to see them suffer – this made farming interesting. It
was his love of horses that initially got us involved with animals other than dogs and fish. Again
he would do everything from repairing saddles and shoeing horses to organising and starting
up a pony club in Maraetai Beach to breaking-in and training horses. After one request to retrain a difficult horse, although he was not told the full story, he ended up being thrown from
the horse, with the horse landing on its back on top of him. This damaged his spine, but did
not stop him, in fact neither did the motorbike accidents in his earlier life, the chest wound he
got in Korea, falling through a roof he was trying to repair, the bout of Leptospirosis that put
him in bed for a week or even the huge Blue Gum branch that fell and pinned him for hours
against the tractor until help arrived.
Dad was one of those guys that takes on anything and at same time would not let anything
stop him doing what he thought he could, or should be able to do.
But eventually age slowed him down, and it seems that it was the boredom that got to him
before anything else. When he had a cause or a task nothing, not even bad weather,
language barriers, lack of equipment or sickness, would stop him.
But without a cause, the ills of age started to take their toll as he saw no reason to stop them.
Although once told of the cancer I think he was angry that it did get him, but it also scared him
so he set himself a new challenge – to go out on his terms.
Dad was never demonstrative with his feelings but he did want to ensure those he loved were
not far away, all accounts and dues would be adequately covered, all the planning for his
passing had been done, then he would slip away quietly taking nothing and owing nothing,
without pain, without regret and with pride and honour.
When all the events over the last few months were tallied, it is as if he had indeed
choreographed his last few weeks down to his final breath.
So I would like to say to my Dad – Thanks Dad, we love you and I am sure you will have found
new challenges and things to fix already.