The Epistle
October 31st, 2012
Staff
Editor-in-chief
Danielle Williamson
Staff Reporters
Hope Lemley
Ellis Nobles
Kourtney Wadkins
John Williamson
Kelsi Allman
Lexi Long
Chelsea Hubbard
Contributing Writers
Julia Logan
Katelanne Whitehead
Jonathan Landry
Advisor
Leigh Terrell
Fall show 2012
See page 14 for more
“Some say if you leave out an
unwrapped candy bar, the
ghost of the baby will come
and take it.”
Cry Baby Bridge, p.10
“They are attached to unusual
objects, perform repeated body
movements for comfort, and
tend to take comfort in routines.”
What is autism? p. 15
“Auburn fans, because they are
scary, scary people.”
All Around Campus, p. 7
“In case you haven’t heard, there’s
an election coming up next Tuesday.”
Political platforms, p. 13
1
Letter from the Editor
Boo.
That’s the sound ghosts make.
Grr.
That’s the sound werewolves make.
Unngh.
That’s the sound zombies make.
Unngh.
That’s the sound students make.
Yay.
That’s the sound students
make when they’re reading The
Epistle.
This is the part where some
starts rolling their eyes and chastising me for promoting The Epistle
nonstop. To those naysayers, I
respond with this: “Umm whateva
major looser. Journalism is da best.
Also ur face iz stoopid, so thur.”
Luckily, the articles in this
edition are not filled with my hypothetical retorts. Rather, Kelsi, Ellis,
Hope, John, Lexi, and our newest
member, Chelsea Hubbard, have
slaved over a plethora of articles.
We hope you find them spooky,
informative, and engaging. If you
find them stoopid, then—well—
you’ll have to excuse us as we take
a group excursion to Cry Baby
Bridge. And cry. Like babies.
So before you don your costumes to go candy mugging, give us
wee tykes at The Epistle a chance.
Take a moment to peruse through
this month’s issue. Proceed with
caution: Slenderman, jack-o-lanterns, and the Korean pop star, Psy,
lurk in the shadows of these pages.
Perhaps more frightening than
all of our Halloween articles are
the politics features we’ve chosen
to include, complete with a chart
detailing the candidates stances on
a selection of issues.
In short, this edition of
The Epistle is a paper version of a
zombie president. It’ll put fear into
your heart. It’ll make you squeal in
terror. It’ll give informative speeches. It’ll mention completely unrelated topics, such as autism, Nikola
Tessla, and procrastination, just
to distract you from the matter at
hand. It might even eat your brain.
Granted, I may have exag-
gerated that sentence a wee bit. I
will warn you, however. Attempting
to do the reverse (eating the newspaper’s brain) will result in frustration, tummy aches, wary looks
from onlookers, and a chastisement
from Mr. Marshall for not recycling.
Sincerely,
Danielle Williamson
The highly sophisticated staff of The Epistle. Not pictured: Chelsea Hubbard, Lexi Long, and Kourtney Wadkins
2 | The Epistle | September 2012
By the numbers: Student statistics
This month, The Epistle asked students what age people should stop trick-or-treating.
Table of Contents
|4|Editorials
|5|Editorials
|6|Editorials |7|All Around Campus
|8|Spread
|9|Spread
|10|Spread
|11|Spread
|12|Features
|13|Features
|14|Features
|15|Features
|16|Sports
|17|Sports
Sports|18|
3
The procrastinator’s manifesto
Procrastination: perhaps the
greatest temptation to ever plague humanity.
Even now, I am reaping the
fruits of procrastination. It is exactly
5:31a.m., and this article is due in approximately four hours. I’ve had five
days to write this manifesto—five comfortable days—and now, armed with
life-giving coffee and hindered by limited time, I frantically type these words,
mentally kicking myself for not having
done this sooner.
You know the drill: you have a
mountain of homework right in front
of you. You know that you should
probably just get it over with, but… you
still have time, right? Besides, YouTube
is practically a procrastinator’s best
Disclaimer: this article has nothing to
do with giraffes.
This article is about politics.
I understand why 50% of readers just
fled to All Around Campus or the
spread. Discussing politics in public is a
social faux pas, the equivalent of strutting around in your birthday suit or
cursing loudly around small children.
Politics make people uncomfortable.
It’s a polarizing topic that oft erupts in
heated arguments, flung foodstuffs, and
awkward silences. Thus, it’s no wonder
that people avoid it like the plague.
In short, politics has become
confrontational. It has been falsely
equated with rhetoric and corruption.
The negative connotations the American public associates with the word
“politics” obscures the true meaning:
the business of governing a nation.
Government, at any level, affects our lives, whether we’re aware of
it or not. Let’s take a trip down metaphor lane. If we’re all athletes playing
the sport of life, government is the rules
commissioner. It doesn’t yank the base-
4 | The Epistle | September 2012
by Hope Lemley
friend. It reels us into the maze of adorable kitten videos—adorable kitten videos that steal our attention with their
infinite cuteness, only to find ourselves
at the foot of a mountain of homework
and despair in the wee hours of the
morning (not that this has ever happened to me, of course).
We procrastinators recite our
mantra over and over again, “I still have
time. I still have time.” And then suddenly, you don’t have time. Suddenly,
it’s 5:31a.m., and your article is due that
day. But I digress.
We claim we can stop at any
time. Technically, this is kinda-sorta
true. Technically, we could if we really
tried. But that would take effort. The
black hole of procrastination seems to
Giraffes
by Danielle Williamson
balls and bats our of our hands to suddenly change the sport we play. It isn’t
designed to do that. Instead, it makes
gradual changes to the field around us,
changing how we play the game.
Despite what many would have
you believe, an appointment to public
office does not come with a pitchfork,
horns, and a forked tail. A career in
politics is a legitimate job path; one that
many are drawn to because of the potential it presents to change the playing
field for the better. Corruption sneaks
into this equation when citizens neglect to monitor politicians’ activities.
Ignorance is a blank canvas politicians
paint to suit their world view and life
goals. Enlightenment is a tougher medium that requires policy makers to put
substance to their marks, to fill out the
empty lines they’ve sketched.
Furthermore, a firmer grasp of
the issues leads to a better understanding of what the other “side” might have
to say, as opposed to blindly claiming
allegiance with a particular party. Selfconducted research and independent
have infinite gravity. Also, those cat
videos are really cute.
However, we can be strong!
We can fight back against the oppressive hand of procrastination! We can
work through our denial and begin our
inner-healing. We can log off Facebook
and exit out of YouTube.We can escape
the crushing vortex of time consumption. It will be difficult, but we can and
will scale that mountain of homework.
Maybe, just maybe, we can—gasp!—actually get some sleep for once.
Or maybe that’s taking it a bit
too far.
Together, we can be strong!
Together, my friends, we can throw off
the shackles of procrastination!
Well… maybe tomorrow.
thought processes provide people with
the tools to defend their position and
respect others. Simply repeating buzz
words heard on MSNBC or FOX leads
to a discourse of echoes: a breeding
ground for suspicion, name-calling,
and partisanship.
How is it possible to make an
informed decision on who to vote for
this upcoming election without a vague
awareness of the progress or decline
of the economy or the legislation that
has been passed in the past four years?
How is it possible to evaluate a particulate candidates worth without knowing
what they’ve done?
Our forefathers made this
country a democracy because they had
faith in the American people. Citizens
can shoulder this responsibility with
pride by remaining vigilant. Alternatively, they can let it waste upon the
ground, curling inward with a shiver of
disappointment.
The choice is yours, but remember—the repercussions belong to
the nation.
Thomas Edison is a fraud
Who was the father of
the electric age? If you answered,
“Thomas Edison,” you have some
reading to do. When most people
think of Thomas Edison, they think
of the man who invented the light
bulb. Well, I have some enlightening
words for you; Edison did not invent
the light bulb. He simply improved
upon the previous 22 ideas of other
men that pioneered the light bulb
before him. The father of the electric age was Nikola Tesla. Tesla was
a Serbian-American inventor that
lived during the late 1800s, and his
main goal was to invent things that
would improve life for all of humanity. All Edison did was figure out
how to make the light bulb sell to
the public.
Edison is the equivalent to the
popular meme, “Scumbag Steve.”
While Tesla is the equivalent to the
popular meme, “Good Guy Greg.”
Tesla actually worked for Edison
early in his career. Edison offered to
pay him the modern equivalent of a
million dollars to fix the problems
he was having with his DC generators and motors. Tesla fixed Edison’s
machines and when he asked for the
money that he was promised, Edison laughed him off and had to say
this, “Tesla, you don’t understand
American humor.” After the subsequent falling out Tesla had with
Edison, he went to work with his
AC electrical system. This ignited a
feud with Edison, who at the time
was trying to sell his direct current
system. Thus, Edison embarked on
a campaign to publicly smear Tesla’s
AC and convince the public that it
was too dangerous for home use. He
did this by paying schoolboys twenty-five cents a head for live dogs and
by John Williamson
cats of the pets from the neighborhood near Edison’s laboratory. He
then put these dogs and cats on display and publicly electrocuted them
Nikola Tesla
using Tesla’s alternating current.
Edison believed the value
of his inventions could be gauged by
how much money could be made.
He was neither a mathematician
nor a scientist; he believed he could
just hire people to do that for him.
Edison was known for rushing to
the patent office as soon as one of
his employees had something. On
the other hand, Tesla was known for
discovering things and then forgetting to write them down.
Have you ever heard Guglielmo
Marconi? You know, the guy who
won a Nobel Prize in physics for
inventing the radio? Did you know
that basically everything he did was
based on work previously done by
Tesla? After Marconi became worldfamous for sending the first transatlantic message, Tesla responded to
this with, “Marconi is a good fellow.
Let him continue. He is using seventeen of my patents”? Nikola Tesla =
Nicest Inventor... Ever!
Ever heard of the radar? You
know, that amazing technology that
lets us detect objects like submarines
and cruise missiles. An English scientist by the name of Robert A. Watson-Watt was credited with this invention in 1935. Can you guess who
came up with the idea in 1917, (18
years before Watson-Watt)? Nikola
Tesla; he pitched it to the U.S. Navy
at the beginning of World War I
when the world was getting its butt
kicked by German U-boats. Well
unfortunately, Thomas Edison was
the head of Research & Development Council for the U.S. Navy at
the time and somehow managed to
convince them that it had no practical application in war.
Wilhelm Rontgen is typically credited as the discoverer of Xrays. Can you guess the moustachedonning inventor who beat him to it
and got basically zero credit? NIKOLA TESLA. Also, when X-rays were
initially discovered it was believed
that X-rays could cure blindness
and other ailments. Tesla warned
that X-rays could be dangerous,
and he refused to conduct medical
experiments with them. While Edison, not skipping a beat when the
opportunity to be an awful person
presented itself, got to work right
away on human trials in X-ray experimentation. One of his employees, Clarence Dally, was exposed to
so much radiation that his arms had
to be amputated to save his life. It
didn’t work though, and he eventually died from mediastinal cancer.
Dally is considered to be the first
American to die from experimentation from radiation (Edison finally
invents something original!) In addition to killing his assistant,
cont. on page 14
5
Gangnam Style
Attention all uncoordinated
people of the world! There is no
longer a need to fear any situation
that involves dancing. Gangnam
style is here to save you. This KPop
(Korean Pop) sensation has taken
hold in America and all around
the world. A catchy, electro beat
and unrecognizable lyrics have
rocketed South Korean native, PSY,
into international fame. Even more
popular than the song, though,
is its accompanying dance, or the
Gangnam Style.
Gangnam Style is a very
simple dance that can be done by
just about anyone. It is characterized by its “horse galloping” motion
and “lasso arm”. Horse galloping is
exactly how it sounds, you gallop…
like a horse. The lasso arm is slightly trickier, especially when paired
with the “horse galloping”. You
by Kourtney Wadkins
wave one arm around your head in
a circle, like a lasso, and place your
other hand out in front of you, like
you’re holding a saddle. As you can
tell, this dance will be a much simpler alternative to the Dougie and
Wobble challenged members of our
community.
Still feel like the Gangnam
Style is a little too out there for
you? Well, the video actually has a
Guinness World Record for most
“liked” video in YouTube history.
The video has also been shared and
covered by T-Pain, Katy Perry, Tom
Cruise, Maroon 5, Britney Spears,
and thousands of other people. One
of the most infamous parodies was
done the North Korean government mocking the original video
and one of the current leaders of
South Korea.
PSY, the 34-year-old South
Korean rapper and father of twin
girls, has profited from the success
of the video. With the song’s translated message being that smart,
modest, yet fun ladies are sexy; who
wouldn’t love PSY’s quirky dance
hit? Whatever your take is on the
smashing song and dance combo
masterpiece, remember PSY’s life
motto “dress classy, dance cheesy.”
image courtesy of news.com.au
The ACT: the hidden controversy
By now all of you know about
the dreadful standardized test. You
know exactly what I’m talking about:
the ACT. This test determines where
you’re going to college. In other
words, it basically runs your life senior
year. By now, all seniors have taken the
three and a half hour test that is a definite waste of your Saturday. Not only is
the ACT a waste of time, but it’s unfair.
While most people just accept the ACT’s flaws, there is so much
going on behind the scenes. Why do
you have to put your gender, race, and
other demographic information on the
ACT? They are using it for something
you may not know about. ACT performed a study incorporating this data
to understand the major gap between
the scores of opposite genders. They
found that females are more thinkingoriented, while males are more likely
6 | The Epistle | September 2012
by Kelsi Allman
just to guess. By not penalizing for
wrong answers (like the SAT does, by
taking off .25 points for every missed
question), the fast-paced multiple
choice format suits the quick-guessing
males more than the deep-thinking females. Another example of bias on the
ACT is its language. It uses slang words
that may not be familiar to citizens
who do not speak English as a first
language. This is very unfair, but many
people just ignore it or do not notice.
The ACT is used to predict
college performance. I totally disagree that the ACT should be used
to determine college admittance, and
how one is going “succeed” in college. I believe that your work ethic in
the classroom, your attitude toward
school, your study habits, and your
organizational skills are better predictors of how a student will do in college,
rather than a standardized test. When
in your college career will you use
standardized scores to determine your
job? You won’t. Someone’s career and
potential should definitely be determined by the characteristics of the
person, their study habits, and their
work ethic. Instead, college admittance is literally based on the ACT.
College educations for many students
who are intelligent are denied due to
this extreme, ultimate score. Fees and
tuition are waived, and millions of
dollars of scholarships are awarded to
people that do well on the ACT. I do
agree with awarding the students who
excel on the ACT; however, I do not
agree with penalizing the hardworking
students who are willing and striving
to go to a prestigious college but are
handicapped due to a test.
All around campus
Ellis Nobles
Alexander Krentel:
“Thermonuclear
war because it
would eliminate all
life. Just… gone.”
Jordan Williams:
“That they would
stop making nutella.”
Kate Sullins Canfield: “Clowns.
When we had that
pep rally with the
clowns, I was hiding.”
Dr. Brousseau:
“Sharks, because
of the movie Jaws.
I was six, maybe
seven. It created
a kind of phobia.
Whenever I get in
the water, that anxiety kicks in.”
Harper Chaffe: “Auburn fans, because
they are scary, scary
people.”
What is your
biggest fear?
Why?
Mrs. Brown: “Terrified of heights
and snakes, but
really heights.
Daniela Salas:
“Sharks, because
they can kill you,
and you never
know where they
are.”
Jonathan Landry:
“Crichton, Alabama,
because there’s a
leprechaun there.”
Trent Larson: “Spiders.
Kendall Ann Bailey: Who needs eight eyes
“Gum because it’s
and eight legs? Nosticky.”
body: unless you’re up
to some pretty awful
things.
Hannah Riggin:
“Spiders because
they can chase
me!”
Raven Mestas: “The
Wicked Witch of
the West because
when I was a kid,
my sisters taunted
me with her voice.
Joseph Graham:
“Snakes because,
why does [sic] there
always have to be
snakes?”
Noah Strickler: “Giant water monsters
because you can’t really
do anything if you’re in
the water and a giant
fish is trying to eat
7
you.”
Halloween
While scavaging through the woods, the staff of The
Epistle discovered a crumpled note. Who do you suspect
to be involved?
8 | The Epistle | September 2012
picture courtesy theslenderman.wikia.com
2012
halloween: Then and
Now
by Kourtney Wadkins
Halloween, in my opinion,
is the greatest holiday out there. It’s
a day where you can be whoever or
whatever you want to be. Plus, you get
ridiculous amounts of sugar (and who
doesn’t like sugar?) Halloween is just
magical. But it wasn’t always how we
think of it today. Halloween used to be
a very religious holiday, not just pagan
but also Christian.
Halloween got its origins from
pagan rituals of worshiping the dead
and harvest feasts and festivals. Christians changed this traditional festival
slightly to fit their own beliefs. They
began calling it All Saints Day. It was a
time of feast and prayer for the saints
and all of those who had recently
departed. While the holiday in itself
has survived, many of the customs and
traditions that originated with it are
no longer widely practiced. We have
made Halloween into a more commercial holiday, but some traditions have
survived today.
Not many know that trickor-treating or guising was actually
practiced in the old days of Halloween.
Originally, the poor would go door
to door on All Hallows Eve to receive
food from the people at each house.
Today, kids just dress up and beg for
candy. Also, wearing costumes, while
not initially done in America, became
popular in the States. Haunted houses
and haunted attractions such as corn
mazes and hayrides also became
popular in the United States. Halloween had turned from a religious
day of thanks and remembrance into
an Americanized excuse to party and
fulfill childhood dreams.
While we may not celebrate
the spiritual dealings behind the original All Hallows Eve, Halloween has
become a fun and interesting modern
tradition.
Jack. He’s on your
doorstep.
by Ellis Nobles
The jack-o’-lantern is a very
well-known Halloween motif. Jack-o’lanterns are seen on numerous porches
and yards throughout October, and
it’s not uncommon to see elementary
school children carving pumpkins at
Halloween festivals. Jack-o’-lanterns
are so ingrained into Halloween that
no one questions their origins.
Surprisingly, these doorstep
decorations were not originally made
from pumpkins, but from root crops
common to Ireland and Scotland,
such as beets, turnips, and potatoes.
Pumpkins are indigenous to North
America; they were only used for jacko’-lanterns by settlers in America as a
substitute for the aforementioned root
crops. Luckily, these subjects were
perfect for the job.
The tradition of making jack
cont. on page 15
top halloween
costumes
(according to Saints surveyed)
Cat
Avenger
Hunger games
character
SLenderman
images courtesy bestcatanddognutrition.com, wikia.nocookie.
net, and imdb.com
9
Top Halloween Movies
When we think Halloween we
definitely think scary, spooky, and horror.
Most people want to find the best ways
to get a scare. So, what is one of the top
ways to raise your “scare scale” during
Halloween? The answer is to watch horror
movies. DUH! Searching through different
internet sites, I derived a list of the best top
ten scary movies. Then I decided to ask St.
Paul’s students to vote on the movie they
thought was scariest. This list shows the
results of the scariest movies starting with
number 1. The list is as follows:
1. Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
Freddy Krueger, a serial-killer
who wears a glove with four blades embedded in his fingers, returns in this thriller
and haunts a group of teenagers. Freddy
Krueger haunts them in their dreams, and
when they wake up it results in their death.
They have to try their best to stay awake
to protect each other, but when they go to
sleep there is no turning back.
2. The Haunting in Connecticut
(2009)
The Campbell family has to relocate to upstate Connecticut due to their
son, Jonah’s, health. When relocated to
Connecticut, supernatural behavior begins
to happen in the new home. After research
they find out the house has a disturbing
history. It was a former mortuary, and the
owner’s son served as a demonic messen-
by Kelsi Allman
ger. The Campbell family is haunted in this
house with unspeakable terror awaiting
innocent Jonah.
3.The Unborn (2009)
A young women tries to fight the
spirit that approaches her in her dream.
She finds out that the boy that haunts her
in her dreams is her lost twin brother that
died in the womb with her. She begins to
suspect that the boy haunts her because he
wants to be born. She reports it to a rabbi
and priest, who perform an exorcism.
4. Drag Me to Hell (2009)
A loan officer, Christine Brown,
evicts an old, gypsy woman, Mrs. Ganush,
from her home. She soon finds out that
this was a big mistake because she becomes targeted as a recipient of a supernatural curse. The curse will cause her to
plunge into the depths of hell to burn for
eternity.
5. Halloween (2007)
Michael Myers has been committed to an insane asylum and escapes
after 17 years. His mission is to find his old
babysitter, Laurie. However, whoever gets
in his way is in mortal danger.
6. The Exorcist (1973)
A devil takes possession of a
young girl’s soul.
7. Priest (2011)
been occurring for many centuries. The
Church does not accept this idea of vampires. When the Priest’s niece is kidnapped
by vampires, the Priest is forced to disobey
the Church law to save his niece.
8. Dead Silence (2007)
A married couple, Jamie and Lisa,
receive a ventriloquist doll in the mail that
results in Lisa’s death. Jamie goes to the
town of Ravens Fair, where the doll came
from, to find answers to his wife’s murder.
9. Silent Hill (2006)
Rose and Christopher have
adopted their daughter that begins sleepwalking and saying the name “Silent Hill”.
Rose takes Sharon, the adopted daughter,
to Silent Hill and, while she is there the
daughter goes missing. Rose goes in search
for her daughter in this peculiar town
Silent Hill.
10. Saw (2004)
Two men are kidnapped by a serial killer nicknamed “Jigsaw.” The men are
made to follow objectives to survive the
deadly game.
Even if you don’t agree with this list of the
scariest movies, I’m positive that you can
find a couple movies on this movie list that
will indeed give you a scare this spooky
October month.
A human versus vampire war has
Cry Baby Bridge
Everyone knows Halloween is a
fun time of year. Everybody’s out trickor-treating, attending costume parties,
or watching one of the endless horror
movie marathons that play on almost
every channel. These events are great for
the not-so-adventurous person, but if you
really want to get into the spirit of Halloween you need a frightful experience that
could possibly last a lifetime. One of the
best places you can go is Cry Baby Bridge.
We’ve all heard of Cry Baby
Bridge. There are many stories around
it. The most famous is as follows: Many
years ago, a woman was driving across
the bridge with her baby in the back. A
drunk driver was going the wrong way on
10 | The Epistle | September 2012
by Kourtney Wadkins
the bridge and hit the woman’s car head
on. She lost control, and her car fell into
the water below. The woman was able to
escape, but her baby wasn’t so lucky.
It is said that if you drive across
the bridge at night strange things will
happen. Some say if you leave out an
unwrapped candy bar, the ghost of the
baby will come and take it. Also, people
claim that as they drive across they can see
the headlights of the drunk driver’s car. If
you sprinkle baby powder on your back
window, baby foot prints can be seen.
If a haunted house is just not your
speed, and you need a little more excitement this Halloween then drive out to Kali
Oka Road in Saraland and test the legend
of Cry Baby Bridge. And you can decide
for yourself it really is haunted.
picture courtesy of dani63.deviantart.com
All Hallow’s Eve
by Hope Lemley
Whispering winds ‘round the old
oak tree wind
Slith’ring they rise, rustling boughs
as they climb.
The leaves—crackling embers this
crisp autumn night,
The moon bathes the graveyard in
cold, silver light.
An old man takes form and looks
down in surprise
As he holds up a hand to his translucent eyes.
He stretches and yawns and sighs in
relief
And chuckles, ambivalent to what
should be grief.
Silence rules over the shadows so
long
No sound in the air, save the wind’s
whisp’ring song.
The world seems to pause,
but there is no peace—
Something is lurking this
All Hallows’ Eve.
He reclines on his tombstone and
watches the shades
All just coming out of their silent,
still daze.
Pale, ghostly children laugh in
delight,
Chasing ‘round tombstones this
Halloween night.
Not a care in the world, sprites
dance glibly around
Twinkling like stars as they fly
‘cross the ground.
The children run higher and higher
aloft
Surrounded by faeries, like stars
shining soft.
They bound towards the heavens
with hope in their eyes
Leaving the earth while they enter
the skies.
The old man stands up and
remarks in great haste,
“I guess I’ll be off! There’s
no time to waste—
I’ve the rest of the afterlife
waiting for me!”
And he, too, flew onward,
his soul fin’ly free.
The stillness is broken, and
out of the tombs
Come pale, spectral figures
to fill up the gloom.
They start to take form, but
substance they lack
Eerily shimm’ring against
the full black.
They’re part of the wind and they
join in its song—
The wispy, thin figures are
murm’ring along.
Intangible ghosts—they are not of
this earth
Caught between life and death,
searching for worth.
As they endlessly hover, each lost
and alone—
Then silence consumes them—too
desperate to moan.
Some cry out in shock, some
soundlessly weep,
Some wander the graveyard, longing for sleep.
The wandering spirits and
poor, wailing souls
Refuse to admit that it’s
come to a close.
They’ll wander the night from this
moment on,
Lamenting and sobbing as they all
float along.
Some sob and some moan and
refuse to believe
That their lives are now ended—
they do nothing but grieve.
A girl less than twenty in awful
despair
Cries, “My life can’t be over! It’s
simply not fair!”
Even though you can’t hear them—
you’re blind to their plight
To their weeping and wailing and
shrieking tonight,
Just know that they’re wandering—
just past the trees—
Silently, gravely, on All Hallows’
Eve.
The wandering spirits, directionless
shades
Circle the graveyard—their shrieks
pierce like blades
Congratulations to Hope for placing
1st in Teen Read Week!
picture courtesy of fineartamerica.com
11
Well. This is awkward.
by Danielle Williamson
Cupid and Psyche, two
and there. The steady happy chatstage for the next-run through;
lovers from Greek mythology, sit
ter emitting from the thespians is
then the next five; then the next,
together on a couch, gazing into
silenced when Mr. Goff calls for the repeating the same blocking and
each other’s eyes. They lean forward auditions to commence.
lines over and over again. Every
Four or five raised hands are actor holds the same script, yet
to kiss-
--and miss.
chosen to read through the first in
every performance is different, with
a series of preselected scenes. They
The narrators of the scene,
chunks of each person’s personalmake their way to the stage, some
Allie Frederick and Gracie Lester,
ity completing those half-formed
double over with laughter while the bounding eagerly, others shuffling
personas. By the end of auditions,
two “lovers” erupt in a fit of
everyone has been dunked
giggles.
in the icy waters of a read
“Stay in character!”
through, leaving them shivthe director reprimands
ering, uncomfortable, and
from the audience. The two
exposed.
reassume their positions,
But the thrill of the dunk, the
then are interrupted by a
adrenaline rush that comes
bout of laughter from the
from immersion in a role
director. Then the entire
keeps them coming back
cast dissolves in chuckles,
for the second day of audiand the scene is lost entions, then the first day of
tirely.
rehearsal, then the night of
“Mr. Goffffff,” one
the performance.
of the “lovers” groans, “this
Last night, in the first pubHallie King, Varshini Venkastesan, and Gracie Lester lic showing of The Metais SO awkward.” And it is awkward. during rehearsal for The Metamorphoses.
morphoses, we, the cast of
Rehearsing plays such The
Fall Show 2012, no longer
nervously. Around 10 seconds is all shivered on our own. We huddled
Metamorphoses, which contains
no fewer than four pairs of roman- the time they have to scan over the together, warming ourselves with
scene, to analyze their characters, to support, advice, and solidly-placed
tically engaged characters, gets
determine how they will transform high-fives.
uncomfortable at times. However,
into other people. Then “Scene!” is
these uneasy moments, no matter
And when you-- a student, faculty
how raw, are always bandaged over called, and they have to leap into
member, or parent-- comes out
their half-formed personas and go
by the reassuring presence of cast
and fills a seat in that theater, you
mates, felt in a variety of ways: from with it.
become part of a pool for us to
The script is like a god, dictating
laughter, to hugs, to clapping, to
jump into. Without you, we strike
solidly-placed high-fives. Moreover, your words and actions. If it calls
concrete, and our whole endeavor
these experiences become the rope for you to put a reassuring hand
cracks. We owe you a multitude of
that knots the cast together, transon the shoulder of someone you’ve thanks.
forming them from a disjointed
never talked to, you do it. If it asks
We wish to repay this debt of gratigroup of theatre kids to a cohesive
you to scream in terror, you do it.
tude with the two months of hard
troupe.
And when the scene is finished, you work we’ve put into this play, in the
It begins in auditions. The
sit down and silently hope that you vain hope that we’ve shed our floatprospective cast members scatter
didn’t alienate the twenty strangers ies and evolved from dunking to
themselves among the theater seats, in the audience by doing so.
diving. If not, well. . .
gathering into social clumps here
Then five of the twenty walk on
This is awkward.
12 | The Epistle | September 2012
Political Platforms: what’s what
by Hope Lemley
In case you haven’t heard, there’s an election coming up next
Tuesday. Here’s what each of the major two parties have to say about
some of the most pressing and controversial issues.
Economy
Defense
The Middle East
Firearms
Role of Government
Same sex marriage
Democrat
• Strengthen the economy
• Cut taxes for the middle class
• Bring “new transparency to financial
markets, and ending taxpayer-funded band
bailouts and the era of ‘too big to fail.’”
Republican
• Cut spending
• Downsize the government
• Reduce the deficit
• “Ignite economic growth.”
• Engage in war when it’s absolutely necessary.
• Support separate Israeli and Palestinian
states and vow to fight against terrorism.
• Citizens should be allowed to own firearms, but that that right “is subject to reasonable regulation.”
• Role of the government is to benefit and
protect the people.
• They focus greatly on strengthening the
middle class and leveling the playing field.
• “Peace through strength.”
• Civil rights issue
• Same-sex couples should have equal treatment under the law.
• Also support, “…the freedom of churches
and religious entities to decide how to administer marriage as a religious sacrament
without government interference.”
Environment/Natural • Wish to protect the environment and
Resources
invest in clean energy
• Support separate Israeli and Palestinian
states and vow to fight against terrorism.
• Citizens ought to have the right to carry
a firearm wherever they are legally allowed to go.
• Downsize the government.
• “We look to government—local, State,
and federal—for the things government
must do, but we believe those duties can
be carried out more efficiently and at less
cost. For all other activities, we look to
the private sector.”
• Would pass a Constitutional amendment defining marriage “as the union of
one man and one woman.”
• Religious issue, not civil rights issue
• Want to let the market decide and support the drilling of oil in America
If you want to learn more, you can visit:
http://www.democrats.org/democratic-national-platform
http://www.gop.com/2012-republican-platform_home/
picture courtesy of bluebook.state.or.us
13
The “WC”
Ever wrote a paper and
thought it was terrible? Can’t figure
out a topic or how to write a thesis? Or maybe you can’t figure out
if your grammar is wrong or right.
If any of you’ve ever been in these
situations, then you should try out
the St. Paul’s writing center. Sponsored by NHS, the writing center is
here to provide support and to help
upper school students when working on essays, research papers, and
by Chelsea Hubbard
speeches.
Using the writing center
can help improve your grades on
papers. Virtual tutoring is available
through email or Skype. Faceto-face options can be scheduled
almost anywhere on campus. The
peer tutors available are: Macy
Vickers, Max Trent, Caroline
Nicholas, Shivani Ananthasekar,
Carson Blaylock, Taylor Roe, Taylor
Wood, Varshini Venkatesean, John
Shreve, Charlie Sutherland, Seth
Polansky, Hiro Kamei, Sara Bryars,
Rebecca Dill, and Nina Crawford.
For teachers, request for peer tutors
for a class can be made by emailing
Mrs. Holbrook or one of the student directors, Seth Polansky and
Rebecca Dill. If a student or teacher
has any other questions about the
writing center, they can contact
Mrs. Holbrook.
Wondering when the writing center peer tutors are available?
Day for tutoring
Time
Type of tutoring
Sunday
7-8 p.m.
Virtual tutoring
Monday
7-8 p.m.
Virtual tutoring
Tuesday
3-4 p.m.
Face-to-face tutoring
Wednesday
7-8 p.m.
Virtual tutoring
Thursday
3-4 p.m.
Face-to-face tutoring
the first hydroelectric plant at Niagara falls and proved to the world
that this type of power was a practical energy source? Nikola Tesla.
Who was experimenting with cryogenic engineering nearly half a century before its invention? Tesla. Who
held patents over a hundred years
ago that were later used in development of the transistor? Tesla. (The
transistor is the device which makes
the information age possible so you
can refresh your Facebook page and
whatnot.) Who was the first to record radio waves from outer space,
(inadvertently making himself the
father of radio astronomy)? Tesla.
Who discovered the resonant frequency of the earth? Tesla. This was
something scientists couldn’t con14 | The Epistle | September 2012
Thomas Edison, cont. from page 5
firm until 50 years later when technology had caught up to what Tesla’s
amazeballs brain figured out in the
1890’s.
So, with this incredible mind
and all these inventions behind him,
Tesla should have been rich and famous, right? Unfortunately, this was
not the case. Tesla lived in a time
when the world demanded results
that were practical and profitable.
People (back then) wanted light
bulbs and toaster ovens, rather than
radio astronomy. Tesla’s contributions were not incremental; they
were revolutionary. One of Tesla’s
final gifts to the world was a tower
near New York City that would have
provided free wireless energy to the
entire planet. The man who financed
the construction of the tower shut it
down when he learned that there
would be no way to regulate the energy and therefore it wouldn’t make
money. This acquisitiveness and
greed plagued most of Tesla’s career,
and he spent the majority of it being
broke. In addition, Tesla also suffered from a disorder we now commonly refer to as “being completely
insane.” Tesla hallucinated and often had a hard time differentiating
between what was reality and what
was imagination, which is why he
spent years alone in his laboratory.
Tesla often said that the only time he
was happy was when he was cooped
up in his lab.
image courtesy of wilsonsketchblog.blogspot.com
What is autism?
by Kelsi Allman
Autism is in fact becoming
one person has the same combinaengaged personal trainer that can
more and more common these days tion of symptoms, it is so difficult
give the child their undivided attenaccording to psycologytoday.com.
to pinpoint exactly what autism
tion. Therapy seems to be the best
What “autism” exactly is, however,
is. Autism can be looked at on a
way to help the little ones with their
spectrum to understand it better.
is unclear and confusing to many.
discomforts. Examples of different
types of therapy are speech- lanThe scientific term for Autism
is Autism Spectrum Disorder
guage, physical, applied behavior,
(ASD). On this spectrum there
and occupational therapy.
are many different diagnoses and
How can you connect to
this? Many people believe that they
symptoms.
In general, autism is a
may not know anyone with this
disorder, but more likely than not
brain problem that causes kids
to have trouble communicating.
you might. You may even notice
it in small children because this is
Not only does autism make it
usually where it is first seen. Starthard for them to communicate,
ing at a young age, Pre-Schools,
but it also affects their behavior.
such as Little Tree, help autistic
Little ones with autism tend
Kelsey Dagget and Kelsi Allman stand with an
kids to become more communito misbehave mostly for atautistic boy while on a visit to Little Tree precative while cutting out behavior
tention. Autistic children also
school with the Service Leadership class.
issues. However, no matter how
are very sensitive to outside
Autism is a brain disorder and the
much therapy one may receive, the
stimuli, such as bright lights and
different symptoms can cause it to
disorder still stays in their brain.
loud sounds. They are attached to
This aspect will stay with them
be milder or more severe.
unusual objects, perform repeated
body movements for comfort, and
Now that we know how kids forever. Thus, becomes a matter of
tend to take comfort in routines.
with autism act, how do we provide others helping and involving them,
These are common symptoms that
treatment for them? Well, this is an because they are still humans just
like you.
have been observed in studies of
interesting question. If every kid is
children with autism. Because not
different, then you have to have an
o’-lanterns originates from an Irish
myth about a man named Stingy Jack,
who twice tricked the Devil to get what
he wanted. The first time, the two were
out drinking together, and Stingy Jack
(who was, well, stingy) convinced the
Devil to transform into a coin to pay
for the drinks. The Devil agreed, but
Jack changed his mind and decided to
pay with his own money. He put the
coin in his pocket along with a silver
cross that prevented the Devil from
changing back to normal. Jack told
the Devil he would release him only if
the Devil promised to leave Stingy Jack
alone for a year and to not claim his
Jack, cont. from page 9
soul when Jack died. The Devil, infuriated, reluctantly agreed. The second
time, Jack tricked the Devil into climbing a tree and then carved a cross into
the trunk, keeping him there until the
Devil promised to leave Jack alone for
ten more years. Again, the Devil had
no choice but to consent.
Stingy Jack eventually died
(bargaining for immortality was apparently beyond his means). God understandably didn’t let him into Heaven.
The Devil was fed up with him, so he
was denied entrance into Hell, as well.
He was condemned to roam the Earth
as a ghost with only a burning coal to
light his way, which he put into a hollow turnip. His new name was “Jack of
the Lantern,” eventually shortened to
“Jack-o’-Lantern.”
The Irish and Scottish began to
make their own lanterns by carving out
their own turnips and beets and putting them in windows or near doors in
order to ward off Stingy Jack and other
evil spirits.
For those afraid of wandering
spirits (or maybe just some wandering
kids), make sure to put some jack-o’lanterns on your doorstep on Halloween!
15
Saints tackle the Toros
by Jonathan Landry and Katelanne Whitehead
Friday, October 5—
The Saints, currently
ranked 5th in the state in 5A,
went to Spanish Fort to play the
number 3 ranked Toros understanding it was important. The
Toros was one of the biggest
games of the season for the Saints.
As Coach Mask said, “I think it’s
two good football teams playing
each other. They’re playing extremely well right now, probably
as good as anyone in the state.”
Both sides prepared for a
big game. Leading up to the game,
the biggest challenge came in the
Toros’ senior quarterback, Joel
Poe. “We knew they were going to
throw the ball a lot, so we had to
prepare for that before we could
think about their running game.”
said junior linebacker Zavier Carmichael.
St. Paul’s fans supported their
football team by joining the
cheerleaders in a “white-out” to
contrast the black and red uniforms worn by the Toros.
Tensions ran high before
the game as the Spanish Fort players warmed up. Their team was
double the size of ours, and they
were constantly yelling different
things and making loud barking
noises. For the cheerleaders it sure
was intimidating!
As the game kicked off,
it appeared that both teams had
come to play, but as the first half
went on, the Saints took the lead.
“We had prepared very well, and
came out and played hard. We
will continue to get better as we
go on,” said junior offensive line16 | The Epistle | September 2012
man Josh Casher.
The Saints scored first following a 3 yard run for a touchdown by senior running back
Jordan Huff. Huff then scored another touchdown after a 23 yard
run. Senior quarterback Bradley
Padgett kept this lead going with
a 40 yard pass to Tre Williams
for a third touchdown. Freshman
running back Ostin McPherson
finished the half with a 38-yard
run and touchdown, making the
score 28—7.
To many, it appeared that
this game was over at the half.
However Coach Mask knew that
the Toros weren’t finished. “We
knew it wasn’t over,” said Mask.
“They are too talented.”
At the beginning of the
second half, the Toros drove
76 yards, ending with a 1-yard
touchdown run. This touchdown
brought the Saints’ lead down,
making the score 28—14. After
a failed drive by the Saints ending in a fumble, the Toros had the
ball with a few minutes left in the
third quarter. Jalen Thompson
quickly ended this possession by
intercepting Joel Poe’s pass.
After an injury to Spanish
Fort’s Justin Murray and a series
of penalties, the Toros were fired
up and quickly got the ball back.
On this drive the Toros, drove the
length of the field to score on a
2-yard run, bringing the score to
28—21.
On the Saints’ next possession, the Saints fought through
a tough and time-consuming
drive. Saints’ quarterback Padgett
converted two 11-yard 3rd downs
with passes to Trayon Tate and
Stephen Fleming. At the end of
the drive, the Saints faced a 4th
and 8 with 1:33 left on the clock.
Junior kicker Yannick Wildraut
finished the drive with a 46-yard
field goal that gave the Saints a
two score lead of 31—21. The
Saints’ fans chanted “Na Na Na
Na, Na Na Na Na, Hey! Hey! Hey!
GOODBYE!” as the Toros’ fans
made their exits.
With about a minute left in the
game, the Toros got the ball
back. Toros’ quarterback Poe
was quickly intercepted by linebacker Zavier Carmichael and
any chance that the Toros had of a
comeback ended abruptly.
This game was a major
victory for the Saints, who move
on further into their season. “It
was a great victory,” said junior
wide receiver Trayon Tate. This
loss ended Spanish Fort’s perfect
season as well as Joel Poe’s streak
of not cutting his hair until the
Toros lost a game.
Senior defensive lineman
Bryan Slater said, “We wooped
them…” Junior lineman Keaton
Andrus declared, “I played extremely well… and so did the rest
of the team.”
The Saints have big plans
for this season, and it is obvious
that they can make things happen
with support from their families,
friends, coaches and fans. The
cheerleaders hope that you will
join them in supporting the Saints
every step of the way. Go Saints!
The Secret Swimmers
by Lexi Long
and State Championships,” states
everyone to come out and cheer
During the fall semester
the big sport that everyone seems Coach Kerns. As of now, the girls on the team as they, “Just Keep
have an 8-3 record and the boys
to get caught up in is football.
Swimming,” as Dory from Finding
Everyone is always talking about
have a record of 9-2. At the CMSA Nemo says.
“the boys of fall”, Friday night
High School Invitational, the
As a student body, it is
lights, the SEC nation, whose
team competed against 9 other
our job to support each and every
team is going to win, the national high school teams. The girls took
team and athlete equally; without
championship, the Iron Bowl- you 3rd place and the boys were the
each team our school wouldn’t
name it. If it is anything remotely champions of the entire meet. The be as great as it is. Coach Kerns
related to that
says that he is
flying pig skin, it
extremely proud
is most likely beof each of his
ing talked about
swimmers and
by someone at
he gives all of
some point in
the credit to
the day. Here
the entire team
in the South,
for their early
football is more
and continuthan a sport, it is
ing success.
a religion. EvCoach Kerns
ery high school
brags about the
student has his
perseverance
or her Friday
of each of his
nights planned
athletes from
around his or
the beginners to
her team, and in
the more expeeach household,
rienced: “We
Cooper Brown, a senior member, swims to victory.
every Saturday is
photo courtesy of Linda Wettermarkhave some ‘rookies’
dedicated to a colwho have stepped up to
lege football game, from August
swim some unfamiliar events and
team works very hard, practicing
through November, if not longer.
performed well. Their versatility
almost every day for about two
However, as great as our
is as important to the team’s suchours.
boys are out on the field, football
Not only do these talented cess as are those who are winning
is not the only sport going on dur- athletes spend most of their days
events.” Each member of the team
ing the fall; for instance, here at St. in the water training to make our is dedicated and hardworking;
Paul’s we have an amazing swim
school proud, they also dedicate
who knows, we may have the next
and dive team that often goes un- most of their Saturdays competMichael Phelps, Ryan Lochte, or
recognized for their accomplishing in meets against other schools. Missy Franklin on our hands. The
ments. Coach Tyler Kerns tells me The next big meet for the team
next time you pass by one of our
that the team is doing very well
is on October 27th, where the
swimmers, be sure to commend
this year. “We are pleased with our team will compete against every
and congratulate them for all of
early season success, however, we Mobile County team and a few
their hard work, devotion, and
realize there is a lot of preparaothers from the Baldwin County
success.
tion to be done before County
area. Coach Kerns encourages
17
Nearing the
The Epistle’s salute
Football
The Saints have had a dominant season with a 6-2
record overall and a 4-1 record in their area (as
of 10/25/12). They will take on their rival UMS
this Friday at home, then continue onto the playoffs November 9th. They will play the loser of the
Benjamin-Russell-Eufala game.
photo courtesy M&A Studios
Zavier Carmichael tackles Spanish Fort’s Sammy Tolbert. Photo
courtesy Bill Starling.
Volleyball
With a 43-17 record, the Lady Saints
have continued their tradition of
wreaking havoc on the courts. They
hope to three-peat at state this year.
They leave for the state tournament
today, October 31st.
Varsity volleyball team members. Top row (from left to right): Coach Kelli
Hillier, Mackensie Williams, Morgan Eiland, Shelley Spires, Bradley Carrington,
Lindsey Kendall. Bottom row: Kittie Harless, MacKensie Moseley, Kaleigh
Wilks, and Ali Sutherland. Not pictured: Kourtney Wadkins
18 | The Epistle | September 2012
image courtesy Halo staff
finish line
to fall sports
Swimming & Diving
The swim team is
coached by Tyler
Kerns and Anne
Marie Sims this year.
They are led by senior team members
Cooper Brown and
Grace Molyneux.
They will swim in the
area championships
on November 16th.
The state meet is
from November 10th
to December 1st at
Auburn University.
Image courtesy Bess
Nichols
Boys & Girls Cross-Country
Cross country girls
and boys will run
section qualifiers
Thursday, November 1st at Mobile
Municipal Park.
They will run at the
state meet on November 10th. Both
teams are coached
by the St. Paul’s
legend, Coach Jim
Tate.
Girl’s cross-country varsity team members. From left to right: Siobhan
Johnson, Holly Friedlander, Anna Braswell, Alice Phillips, Alana Babington, Boo Krause, and Gracie Whiston.
Rand Whitesman runs
during a meet earlier in
the year. Image courtesy
Leigh Terrell
19
name that car
by Julia Logan
Students like to identify themselves with stickers on their car. For example, fishermen are proud of their Salt Life
stickers, while hunters prefer their Browning deer. And soccer moms proudly display their entire family in stick
people (while soccer mom hunters portray their entire family in stick figure deer).
Can you identify the drivers of these cars by their stickers?
#1
#2
#3
#1--Case Hillier, #2-Alexander McCall, #3--Hootie Hollister
Coming up
November 2nd.................Saints vs. UMS @ home
November 6th..................Election Day
November 10th to 12th...Youth Judicial
November 12th................Veteran’s Day Assembly
November 19th to 23rd...Thanksgiving Break
November 28th................Mama Goldberg’s Catered Lunch
December 7th..................Epistle distributed
20 | The Epistle | September 2012