Cockney Rhyming Slang: ENGLISH to SLANG

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Cockney Rhyming Slang: ENGLISH to SLANG
A
AIDS .................................... Ace Of Spades
All-Dayer (Drinking Session) ............ Leo Sayer
Alone ................................... Jack Jones
Alone ................................... Pat Malone
Alone ................................... Todd Sloane
Arm ..................................... Chalk Farm
Army .................................... Daft And Barmy
Army .................................... Kate Karney
Arse .................................... Aris
Arse .................................... Bottle And Glass
Arse .................................... Khyber Pass
Arsehole ................................ Elephant And Castle
Aunt .................................... Mrs. Chant
B
Baby .................................... Basin Of Gravy
Back .................................... Cilla Black
Back .................................... Hammer And Tack
Back .................................... Jumping Jack
Bad ..................................... Shepherd's Plaid
Bad ..................................... Sorry And Sad
Balls (Testicles) ....................... Cobblers Awls
Balls (Testicles) ....................... Niagara Falls
Balls (Testicles) ....................... Orchestra Stalls
Balti ................................... Basil Fawlty
Banana .................................. Gertie Gitana
Bank .................................... Cab Rank
Bank .................................... Iron Tank
Bank .................................... J. Arthur Rank
Bank .................................... Tin Tank
Bar (Pub) ............................... Jack Tar
Bar (Pub) ............................... Near And Far
Barrow .................................. Bow And Arrow
Barrow .................................. Cock Sparrow
Bass .................................... Beggar Boy's Ass
Battery ................................. Tony Slattery
Beak .................................... Bubble And Squeak
Beard ................................... Strange And Weird
Bed ..................................... Skein Of Thread
Bed ..................................... Uncle Ted
Beef .................................... Stop Thief
Beer .................................... Pig's Ear
Beers ................................... Britney Spears
Beginner ................................ Lilley And Skinner
Believe ................................. Adam And Eve
Believe ................................. Christmas Eve
Belly ................................... Auntie Nellie
Belly ................................... Derby Kelly
Bent (Criminal) ......................... Stoke On Trent
Best .................................... Mae West
Bet ..................................... House To Let
Bigot ................................... Lester Piggot
Big 'Un (Big One) ....................... Barry McGuigan
Bike .................................... Clever Mike
Bill (Statement) ........................ Beechams Pill
Bill (Statement) ........................ Jack And Jill
Bird .................................... Richard The Third
Bitch ................................... Miss Fitch
Bitter (Beer) ........................... Apple Fritter
Bitter (Beer) ........................... Laugh And Titter
Blazer .................................. Razor
Bloke ................................... Heap Of Coke
Blotto .................................. Santa's Grotto
Boat .................................... Nanny Goat
Bob (Shilling) .......................... Touch Me On The Knob
Boil .................................... Can Of Oil
Boil .................................... Conan Doyle
Bollocks ................................ Fun And Frolics
Bollocks ................................ Jackson Pollocks
Bollocks ................................ Tommy Rollocks
Bomb .................................... Derry And Tom
Bonkers (Mad) ........................... Marbles And Conkers
Book .................................... Captain Cook
Book .................................... Captain Hook
Book .................................... Fish Hook
Book .................................... Jackdaw And Rook
Book .................................... Joe Hook
Bookies (Bookmakers) .................... Cream Cookies
Boots ................................... Daisy Roots
Booze (Alcohol) ......................... River Ouse
Boozer (Bar) ............................ Battle Cruiser
Boozer (Heavy Drinker) .................. All Time Loser
Boss .................................... Pitch And Toss
Bottle .................................. Aristotle
Bowler .................................. Bottle Of Cola
Box ..................................... Charles Fox
Box ..................................... Darky Cox
Box ..................................... James Fox
Box ..................................... Nervo And Knox
Boy ..................................... Rob Roy
Boy ..................................... San Toy
Bra ..................................... Master McGrath
Braces .................................. Airs And Graces
Braces .................................. Ascot Races
Brains .................................. Down The Drains
Brandy .................................. Fine And Dandy
Brandy .................................. Jack The Dandy
Bread ................................... Uncle Fred
Breath .................................. King Death
Breeches ................................ Rank And Riches
Broke (Financially Ruined) .............. Coals And Coke
Broke (Financially Ruined) .............. Hearts Of Oak
Brokers ................................. Engineers And Stokers
Brother ................................. One And The Other
Bucket .................................. Mrs. Duckett
Bum (Arse) .............................. Fife And Drum
Bum (Arse) .............................. Kingdom Come
Bum (Arse) .............................. Queen Mum
Bunk .................................... Pineapple Chunk
Butter .................................. Johnnie Rutter
Butter .................................. Mutter And Stutter
Butter .................................. Pull Down The Shutter
Butter .................................. Stammer And Stutter
C
Cab (Taxi) .............................. Flounder And Dab
Cab (Taxi) .............................. Sherbet Dab
Cadge (Borrow) .......................... Coat And Badge
Cab (Taxi) .............................. Andy McNab
Cake .................................... Sexton Blake
Can (Prison or Wall Safe) ............... Peter Pan
Candle .................................. Harry Randall
Candle .................................. Saucepan Handle
Car ..................................... Jam Jar
Car (Esp. Flash One) .................... Danny Marr
Card .................................... Bladder Of Lard
Carling (Beer) .......................... Roger Starling
Cash .................................... Arthur Ashe
Cash .................................... Bangers And Mash
Cash .................................... Oscar Asche
Cash .................................... Sausage And Mash
Cat ..................................... Brown Hat
Cat ..................................... This And That
Cell (Prison) ........................... Flowery Dell
Chair ................................... Lion's Lair
Chalk ................................... Duke Of York
Chancer ................................. Bengal Lancer
Chapel .................................. Pineapple
Charlie (Cocaine) ....................... Gianluca Vialli
Chat .................................... Chew The Fat
Chat .................................... Top Hat
Cheek ................................... Once A Week
Cheese .................................. Bended Knees
Cheese .................................. John Cleese
Cheese .................................. Stand At Ease
Cheque .................................. Goose's Neck
Cheque .................................. Gregory Peck
Cheque .................................. Nervous Wreck
Chin .................................... Harry Lin
Chink (Chinese Person) .................. Rink-A-Dink
Church .................................. Left In The Lurch
Cider ................................... Winona Ryder
Cigar ................................... La-Di-Da
Class ................................... Bottle And Glass
Clock ................................... Dickory Dock
Clock ................................... Tick-Tock
Club .................................... Rub-A-Dub
Clue .................................... Danny La Rue
Clue .................................... Pot Of Glue
Clue .................................... Scooby Doo
Coach ................................... Cockroach
Coat .................................... All Afloat
Coat .................................... Billy Goat
Coat .................................... Nanny Goat
Coat .................................... Quaker Oat
Coat .................................... Weasel And Stoat
Cock (Penis) ............................ Brighton Rock
Cock (Penis) ............................ Stick Of Rock
Coffee .................................. Sticky Toffee
Cold .................................... Cheltenham Bold
Cold .................................... Potatoes In The Mould (Taters)
Collar .................................. Holloa Boys Holloa
Cook .................................... Babbling Brook
Cop (Police) ............................ John Hop
Copper (Police) ......................... Bottle And Stopper
Copper (Police) ......................... Grasshopper
Cork .................................... Duke Of York
Corner .................................. Johnny Horner
Crabs ................................... Dribs And Drabs
Crap .................................... Horse And Trap
Crap .................................... Pony And Trap
Crap .................................... Von Trappe
Crash ................................... Sausage And Mash
Crime ................................... Lemon And Lime
Cripple ................................. Raspberry Ripple
Crook (Criminal) ........................ Babbling Brook
Crook (Criminal) ........................ Joe Rook
Crown ................................... Lousy Brown
Crust ................................... You Must
Cry ..................................... Pipe Your Eye
Cunt .................................... Back And Front
Cunt .................................... Berkshire Hunt (Berk)
Cunt .................................... Sir Anthony Blunt
Cupboard ................................ Mother Hubbard
Curry ................................... Ruby Murray
Curtains ................................ Richard Burtons
D
Daft .................................... Fore And Aft
Dance ................................... Kick And Prance
Darling ................................. Briney Marlin
Daughter ................................ Bottle Of Porter
Daughter ................................ Bricks And Mortar
Dead .................................... Brown Bread
Deaf .................................... Mutt And Jeff
Dice .................................... Rats And Mice
Diet .................................... Brixton Riot
Dinner .................................. Jim Skinner
Dinner .................................. John Skinner
Dinner .................................. Lilley And Skinner
Dirty ................................... Two-Thirty
Do So ................................... Robinson Crusoe
Dog ..................................... Cherry Hog
Dole .................................... Rock And Roll
Dollar (Five Shillings) ................. Oxford Scholar
Door .................................... Henry Moore
Door .................................... Rory O'Moore
Dose .................................... Half A Gross
Dozen ................................... Country Cousin
Draft ................................... George Raft
Draught ................................. George Raft
Drawers (Pair Of) ....................... Early Doors
Drink ................................... Tiddlywink
Drink ................................... Tumble Down The Sink
Dripping ................................ Doctor Crippen
Drunk (Inebriated) ...................... Elephant's Trunk
Dump (Excrete) .......................... Donald Trump
Dump (Excrete) .......................... Forest Gump
Dyke (Lesbian) .......................... Raleigh Bike
E
Earner .................................. Tina Turner
Ears .................................... King Lears
Ears .................................... Sighs And Tears
Easy .................................... Bright And Breezy
Easy .................................... Ham And Cheesy
Easy .................................... Lemon Squeezy
Egg ..................................... Borrow And Beg
Egg ..................................... Clothes Peg
Egg ..................................... Scotch Peg
Eight ................................... Harry Tate
Engineer ................................ Ginger Beer
Evens (Fifty-Fifty Bet) ................. Major Stevens
Eyes .................................... Mince Pies
F
Face .................................... Chevy Chase
Face .................................... Boat Race
Faces ................................... Airs And Graces
Facts ................................... Brass Tacks
Fag (Cigarette) ......................... Harry Wragg
Fag (Cigarette) ......................... Oily Rag
Fair Enough ............................. Hairy Muff
Fake .................................... Sexton Blake
Fanny ................................... Jack And Danny
Fare .................................... Grey Mare
Fart .................................... Horse And Cart
Fart .................................... Jam Tart
Fart (Blowing Raspberries) .............. Raspberry Tart
Fax ..................................... Nails And Tacks
Feet .................................... Plates Of Meat
Fever ................................... Robinson And Cleaver
Fiddle .................................. Hey Diddle Diddle
Fight ................................... Read And Write
Fighter ................................. Typewriter
Filth (Police) .......................... Uncle Wilf
Fine .................................... Calvin Klein
Fingers ................................. Longers And Lingers
Fire .................................... Anna Maria
Fire .................................... Ave Maria
Fire .................................... Jeremiah
Fire .................................... Obadiah
Fish .................................... Lillian Gish
Fist .................................... Oliver Twist
Five .................................... Jack's Alive
Fiver (Five Pound Note) ................. Deep Sea Diver
Fiver (Five Pound Note) ................. Lady Godiva
Flares (Wide Trousers) .................. Lionel Blairs
Flash ................................... Harry Dash
Flash ................................... Pie And Mash
Flea .................................... Jenny Lee
Flies ................................... Morecambe And Wise
Floor ................................... Rory O'Moore
Flowers ................................. April Showers
Flowers ................................. Early Hours
Flying Squad (Police) ................... Sweeny Todd
Fob (Watch) ............................. Kettle On The Hob
Food .................................... In The Nude
Football Pools .......................... April Fools
Fork .................................... Roast Pork
Four .................................... Door To Door
Frock ................................... Almond Rock
Fuck .................................... Aylesbury Duck
Fuck .................................... Cattle Truck
Fuck .................................... Friar Tuck
Fuck .................................... Goose And Duck
Fucker .................................. Feather Plucker
Haddock ................................. Fanny Craddock
Haemorrhoids ............................ Emma Freuds
Hair .................................... Barnet Fair
Hair .................................... Bonney Fair
Half (A Pint) ........................... Baby Giraffe
Half (Fifty Pence) ...................... Cow's Calf
Hand .................................... Brass Band
Hand .................................... German Band
Hand .................................... Ivory Band
Hand .................................... St. Martins-Le-Grand
Handy ................................... Sugar Candy
Hanky (Handkerchief) .................... Widow Twanky
Hat ..................................... Tit For Tat (Titfer)
Head .................................... Crust Of Bread
Head .................................... Loaf Of Bread
Head .................................... Lump Of Lead
Head .................................... Uncle Ned
Heart ................................... Horse And Cart
Heart ................................... Jam Tart
Heart ................................... Raspberry Tart
Hell .................................... Ding Dong Bell
Hide .................................... Duck And Dive
Hill .................................... Jack And Jill
Hill .................................... Rhubarb Pill
Home .................................... Gates Of Rome
Home .................................... Pope In Rome
Hooker .................................. One Time Looker
Horn (Erection) ......................... Flake Of Corn
Horn (Erection) ......................... Popcorn
Horse ................................... Bottle Of Sauce
Hot ..................................... Peas In The Pot
House ................................... Cat And Mouse
House ................................... Mickey Mouse
House ................................... Rat And Mouse
G
Ice ..................................... White Mice
Garage .................................. Steve Claridge
Gargle (Drink) .......................... Arthur Scargill
Gay (Homosexual) ........................ Doris Day
Geezer .................................. Bacardi Breezer
Geezer .................................. Fridge Freezer
Geezer .................................. Ice-Cream Freezer
Geezer .................................. Lemon Squeezer
Gin ..................................... Mother's Ruin
Gin ..................................... Needle And Pin
Gin ..................................... Vera Lynn
Girl .................................... Mother Of Pearl
Girl .................................... Ocean Pearl
Girl .................................... Twist And Twirl
Giro .................................... Nightboat To Cairo
Glass ................................... Hackney Marsh
Glass ................................... Khyber Pass
Gloves .................................. Turtle Doves
Go ...................................... Scapa Flow
Good .................................... Robin Hood
Gout .................................... In And Out
Gout .................................... Salmon Trout
Grass ................................... Ernie Marsh
Gravy ................................... Army And Navy
Greek ................................... Bubble And Squeak
Ground .................................. Penny-A-Pound
Guts .................................... Newington Butts
Gutter .................................. Bread And Butter
Gym ..................................... Fat Boy Slim
J
H
I
Jail .................................... Bucket And Pail
Jaw ..................................... Jackdaw
Jeans ................................... Dixie Deans
Jeans ................................... Harpers And Queens
Jew ..................................... Five To Two
Jew ..................................... Four By Two
Jewellery ............................... Tomfoolery
Jock (Scotsman) ......................... Sweaty Sock
Johnny (Condom) ......................... Reggie And Ronnie
Joke .................................... Bushey Park
Judge ................................... Barnaby Rudge
Judge ................................... Chocolate Fudge
Judge ................................... Inky Smudge
K
Keek .................................... Mozambique
Key ..................................... Jenny Lee
Keys .................................... Dancing Fleas
Kid (Child) ............................. Dustbin Lid
Kid (Child) ............................. God Forbid
Kid (Child) ............................. Saucepan Lid
Kid (Child) ............................. Teapot Lid
Kip (Sleep) ............................. Feather And Flip
Kipper .................................. Jack The Ripper
Kiss .................................... Hit And Miss
Knackered (Tired) ....................... Cream Cracker-ed
Knees ................................... Biscuits And Cheese
Knickers ................................ Alan Whickers
Knife ................................... Drum And Fife
Knife And Fork .......................... Drummond And Roce
L
Labour .................................. Beggar-My-Neighbour
Lager ................................... Forsyte Saga
Lark .................................... Bushey Park
Lark .................................... Noah's Ark
Later ................................... Alligator
Later ................................... Baked Potato
Later ................................... Christian Slater
Lather .................................. How's Your Father
Laugh ................................... Tin Bath
Laugh ................................... Turkish Bath
Legs .................................... Bacon And Eggs
Legs .................................... Ham And Eggs
Legs .................................... Mystic Megs
Legs .................................... Nutmegs
Legs .................................... Scotch Pegs
Liar .................................... Dunlop Tyre
Liar .................................... Holy Friar
Lies .................................... Pork Pies
Light ................................... Isle Of Wight
Light (Ale) ............................. Day And Night
Liver ................................... Cheerful Giver
Lodger .................................. Artful Dodger
Look .................................... Butcher's Hook
Lost .................................... Kate Moss-ed
Luck .................................... Donald Duck
Lunch ................................... Kidney Punch
N
Nail .................................... Monkey's Tail
Nark .................................... Grass In The Park
Nark .................................... Noah's Ark
Navy .................................... Soup And Gravy
Neck .................................... Bushel And Peck
Neck .................................... Gregory Peck
Nerves .................................. West Ham Reserves
Newspaper ............................... Linen Draper
Nice .................................... Chicken And Rice
Nick (Prison) ........................... Shovel And Pick
Nip ..................................... Micro Chip
Nipple .................................. Raspberry Ripple
Noise ................................... Box Of Toys
Nose .................................... I Suppose
Nose .................................... Irish Rose
Nose .................................... Ruby Rose
Nun ..................................... Current Bun
Nun ..................................... Hot Cross Bun
O
Off ..................................... Frank Bough
Old Man (Husband) ....................... Frying Pan
Organ ................................... Molly O'Morgan
Out Of Jail ............................. Whale And Gale
Out Of Order ............................ Allan Border
Overcoat ................................ I'm Afloat
Own (Alone) ............................. Jack Jones
Own (Alone) ............................. Pat Malone
Own (Alone) ............................. Todd Sloane
M
P
Mad ..................................... Mum And Dad
Magistrate .............................. Garden Gate
Man ..................................... Pot And Pan
Marker (Pen) ............................ Ronnie Barker
Married ................................. Cash And Carry-ed
Match ................................... Itch And Scratch
Matches ................................. Cuts And Scratches
Mate (Friend) ........................... China Plate
Mate (Friend) ........................... Garden Gate
Meeting ................................. Buster Keaton
Melons (Breasts) ........................ Mary Ellens
Memory .................................. Dick Emery
Mental .................................. Radio Rental
Menu .................................... Me And You
Mercy ................................... Piccadilly Percy
Milk .................................... Acker Bilk
Minge ................................... Edinburgh Fringe
Minute .................................. Cock Linnet
Miss .................................... Cuddle And Kiss
Missus .................................. Cheese And Kisses
Missus .................................. Love And Kisses
Missus .................................. Plates And Dishes
Money ................................... Bees And Honey
Money ................................... Bread And Honey
Money ................................... Bugs Bunny
Money ................................... Sugar And Honey
Mormon .................................. Jerry O'Gorman
Morning ................................. Day's Dawning
Morning ................................. Gipsy's Warning
Motor ................................... Haddock And Bloater
Motor ................................... Tea, Two And A Bloater
Moustache ............................... Dot And Dash
Mouth ................................... North And South
Mouth ................................... Sunny South
Mug (Fool) .............................. Steam Tug
Pants ................................... Adam And The Ants
Parcel .................................. Elephant And Castle
Park .................................... Light And Dark
Park .................................... Noah's Ark
Park .................................... Plimsoll Mark
Party ................................... Russel Harty
Pawn (In-Pawn) .......................... Bullock's Horn
Pee ..................................... Ken Smee
Peelers (Police) ........................ Pittsburg Steelers
Penny ................................... Abergavenny
Penny ................................... Coalheaver (From Giver)
Penny ................................... Kilkenny
Piano ................................... Joanna
Pickle .................................. Harvey Nichol
Piddle .................................. Jimmy Riddle
Piece (Lunch) ........................... Merlyn Rees
Pikey ................................... Do As You Like-y
Piles (Haemorrhoids) .................... Chalfont St. Giles
Piles (Haemorrhoids) .................... Duke Of Argyles
Piles (Haemorrhoids) .................... Farmer Giles
Piles (Haemorrhoids) .................... Metric Miles
Piles (Haemorrhoids) .................... Nobby Stiles
Piles (Haemorrhoids) .................... Nuremberg Trials
Piles (Haemorrhoids) .................... Sieg Heils
Pill .................................... Jack And Jill
Pillow .................................. Tit Willow
Pillow .................................. Weeping Willow
Pillows ................................. Rolling Billows
Pinch (To Steal) ........................ Half Inch
Pint Of Ale ............................. Ship In Full Sail
Pipe .................................... Cherry Ripe
Piss (On The) ........................... Cousin Sis
Piss .................................... Arthur Bliss
Piss .................................... Cuddle And Kiss
Piss .................................... Gypsy's Kiss
Piss .................................... Hit And Miss
Piss .................................... Mickey Bliss
Piss .................................... That And This
Pissed .................................. Brahms And Lizst
Pissed .................................. Oliver Twist
Pissed .................................. Schindler's List
Pissed .................................. Scotch Mist
Pitch (Stall Or Stand) .................. Hedge And Ditch
Pocket .................................. Lucy Locket
Pocket .................................. Sky Rocket
Ponce ................................... Alphonse
Ponce ................................... Charlie Ronce
Ponce ................................... Joe Ronce
Pony (Twenty-Five Pounds) ............... Macaroni
Poof (Homosexual) ....................... Iron Hoof
Poor .................................... On The Floor
Pox ..................................... Nervo And Knox
Pox ..................................... Surrey Docks
Prat .................................... Paper Hat
Prayer .................................. Weaver's Chair
Prick (Penis) ........................... Hampton Wick
Priest .................................. Far East
Psychiatrist ............................ Trick Cyclist
Pub ..................................... Nuclear Sub
Pub ..................................... Rub-A-Dub
Pube .................................... Rubik's Cube
Punters ................................. Hillman Hunters
Q
Queen (Homosexual) ...................... Nellie Dean
Queer (Homosexual) ...................... Brighton Pier
Queer (Homosexual) ...................... Ginger Beer
Quid (One Pound) ........................ Saucepan Lid
Quid (One Pound) ........................ Teapot Lid
R
Races ................................... Airs And Graces
Rain .................................... Andy Cain
Rain .................................... Pleasure And Pain
Randy ................................... Port And Brandy
Readies (Ready Money) ................... Nelson Eddy's
Rent .................................... Burton On Trent
Rent .................................... Duke Of Kent
Ride .................................... Charlie Pride
Right ................................... Isle Of Wight
Ring .................................... Highland Fling
River ................................... Shake And Shiver
Road .................................... Frog And Toad
Rotten .................................. Reels Of Cotton
Row (Quarrel) ........................... Barn Owl
Row (Quarrel) ........................... Bull And Cow
Rum ..................................... Finger And Thumb
Rum ..................................... Tom Thumb
Run Away ................................ Botany Bay
Runs (Diarrhoea) ........................ Radio Ones
S
Sack .................................... Tin Tack
Saloon Bar .............................. Balloon Car
Sandals ................................. Roman Candles
Sauce ................................... Rocking Horse
Saw ..................................... Bear's Paw
School .................................. Jah Rule
Score (Twenty Pounds) ................... Apple Core
Score (Twenty Pounds) ................... Bobby Moore
Scotch .................................. Gold Watch
Scotch .................................. Pimple And Blotch
Scouse (Liverpudlian) ................... Mickey Mouse
Scouts .................................. Brussel Sprouts
Sea ..................................... Housemaid's Knee
Sense ................................... Eighteen Pence
Sex ..................................... Oedipus Rex
Shabby .................................. Westminster Abbey
Shakes .................................. Hatti Jacques
Shaky ................................... Currant Cake-y
Shambles ................................ Jakki Brambles
Shave ................................... Chas And Dave
Shave ................................... Dig In The Grave
Shave ................................... Ocean Wave
Shilling ................................ Thomas Tilling
Ship .................................... Ha'penny Dip
Shirt ................................... Dicky Dirt
Shirt ................................... Uncle Bert
Shit .................................... Brad Pitt
Shit .................................... Eartha Kitt
Shit .................................... Tom Tit
Shite ................................... Barry White
Shite ................................... Ben Cartwright
Shite ................................... Turkish Delight
Shits (Diarrhoea) ....................... Two Bob Bits
Shitter ................................. Council Gritter
Shitter ................................. Gary Glitter
Shoe .................................... How Do You Do
Shoes ................................... Ones And Twos
Shoes ................................... Rhythm And Blues
Shop .................................... Lollipop
Shovel .................................. Lord Lovell
Shower .................................. David Gower
Sick .................................... Moby Dick
Sick .................................... Pat And Mick
Sick .................................... Tom And Dick
Silly ................................... Daff-A-Down Dilly
Silly ................................... Uncle Willy
Singer .................................. Mangle And Wringer
Sister .................................. Skin And Blister
Six ..................................... Chopsticks
Six ..................................... Tom Mix
Sixty-Six ............................... Clickety Click
Skins (Cigarette Papers) ................ Vera Lynns
Skint ................................... Boracic Lint
Slash (Piss) ............................ Charlie Nash
Slash (Piss) ............................ Pie And Mash
Sleep ................................... Bo-Peep
Slippers ................................ Big Dippers
Slippers ................................ Kippers
Smokes (Cigarettes) ..................... Ash And Oaks
Sneeze .................................. Bread And Cheese
Snide ................................... Bonnie And Clyde
Snout (Tobacco) ......................... Salmon And Trout
Soap .................................... Band Of Hope
Soap .................................... Bob Hope
Soap .................................... Cape Of Good Hope
Socks ................................... Almond Rocks
Sod ..................................... Fillet Of Cod
Soda .................................... Major Loda
Son ..................................... Bath Bun
Son ..................................... Currant Bun
Song .................................... Ding Dong
Sores ................................... Dudley Moores
Soup .................................... Loop The Loop
Sovereign ............................... Jimmy O'Goblin
Spade ................................... Lemonade
Spanner ................................. Elsie Tanner
Sparrow ................................. Bow And Arrow
Splinter ................................ Alan Minter
Spoon ................................... Man On The Moon
Spot .................................... Selina Scott
Spunk (Sperm) ........................... Harry Monk
Stairs .................................. Apples And Pears
Star .................................... La-Di-Da
Starved ................................. Pear Halved
Starving ................................ Hank Marvin
State (Anguish) ......................... Two And Eight
State (Condition, Esp. Poor) ............ Harry Tate
Steak ................................... Joe Blake
Steak And Kidney ........................ Kate And Sydney
Stellas (Beers) ......................... Nelson Mandelas
Stew .................................... Battle Of Waterloo
Sticks (Countryside) .................... Pick And Mix
Still ................................... Beechams Pill
Stilsons (Pipe Wrenches) ................ Harold Wilsons
Stink ................................... Pen And Ink
Stool ................................... April Fool
Story (Lie) ............................. Jackanory
Stout (Beer) ............................ Salmon And Trout
Stranger ................................ Glasgow Ranger
Street .................................. Field Of Wheat
Stripper ................................ Herring And Kipper
Sub (Pay Advance) ....................... Rub-A-Dub
Suit .................................... Piccolo And Flute
Suit .................................... Tin Of Fruit
Suit .................................... Whistle And Flute
Sun ..................................... Bath Bun
Sun ..................................... Current Bun
Supper .................................. Tommy Tucker
Sure .................................... Bobby Moore
Swear ................................... Lord Mayor
T
Table ................................... Cain And Abel
Tablet .................................. Gary Ablett
Tail .................................... Alderman's Nail
Tail (Prostitute) ....................... Brass Nail
Tailor .................................. Sinbad The Sailor
Tale .................................... Daily Mail
Tale .................................... Newgate Gaol
Talk .................................... Rabbit And Pork
Tan ..................................... Charlie Chan
Tanner (Sixpence) ....................... Lord Of The Manor
Tanner (Sixpence) ....................... Tartan Banner
Tap (Ask For A Loan) .................... Cellarflap
Tap (Ask For A Loan) .................... Star's Nap
Tart .................................... Lionel Bart
Tart .................................... Merryheart
Taxi .................................... Joe Baxi
Tea ..................................... Rosie Lee
Tea ..................................... You And Me
Teeth ................................... Hampstead Heath
Telephone ............................... Dog And Bone
Telephone ............................... Strawberry Rhone
Telly (Television) ...................... Custard And Jelly
Telly (Television) ...................... Ned Kelly
Telly (Television) ...................... Wobbly Jelly
Ten ..................................... Big Ben
Ten ..................................... Cock And Hen
Tenner (Ten Pound Note) ................. Ayrton Senna
Thief ................................... Tea Leaf
Thirst .................................. Geoff Hurst
Throat .................................. Nanny Goat
Throne (Toilet) ......................... Rag And Bone
Ticket .................................. Bat And Wicket
Tie ..................................... Peckham Rye
Tights .................................. Fly-By-Nights
Till .................................... Jack And Jill
Time .................................... Bird Lime
Time .................................... Harry Lime
Tits .................................... Brace And Bits
Tits .................................... Eartha Kitts
Tits .................................... Thrupenny Bits
Titty ................................... Bristol City
Toast ................................... Holy Ghost
Toes .................................... These And Those
Tool .................................... April Fool
Toss .................................... Iron Horse
Tote .................................... Canal Boat
Towel ................................... Mortar And Trowel
Town .................................... Joe Brown
Trainers ................................ Claires Raynors
Tram .................................... Baa Lamb
Tramp ................................... Paraffin Lamp
Trouble ................................. Barney Rubble
Trousers ................................ Round The Houses
Trunks .................................. Chipmunks
Tube (Underground Railway) .............. Oxo Cube
Tune .................................... Stewed Prune
Turd .................................... Douglas Hurd
Turd .................................... Richard The Third
Turkey .................................. Pinky And Perky
Twenty-Two .............................. Dinky Doo
Twig (Understand) ....................... Earwig
Two ..................................... Bottle Of Glue
U
Umbrella ................................ Auntie Ella
Underpants .............................. Beetles And Ants
Underpants .............................. Insects And Ants
Undies (Underwear) ...................... Eddie Grundies
V
Vest .................................... East And West
Vin Blanc (Wine) ........................ Plink Plonk
Voice ................................... Hobson's Choice
Voice ................................... Rolls Royce
Volley .................................. Buddy Holly
Vomit ................................... Wallace And Grommit
W
Wad ..................................... Ken Dodd
Wage .................................... Green Gage
Wager ................................... John Major
Wages ................................... Cat And Cages
Wages ................................... Greengages
Wages ................................... Rock Of Ages
Waistcoat ............................... Charlie Prescot
Waiter .................................. Hot Potato
Walk .................................... Ball Of Chalk
Wank .................................... Barclays Bank
Wank .................................... J. Arthur Rank
Wank .................................... Jodrell Bank
Wank .................................... Peddle And Crank
Wank .................................... Sherman Tank
Wank .................................... Tommy Tank
Wanker .................................. Kuwaiti Tanker
Wanker .................................. Merchant Banker
Warrant Card ............................ Wilkie Bard
Wash .................................... Bob Squash
Water ................................... Fisherman's Daughter
Week .................................... Bubble And Squeak
Whiskers ................................ Brothers And Sisters
Whisky .................................. Gay And Frisky
Whore ................................... Doug McClure
Wife .................................... Duchess Of Fife
Wife .................................... Fork And Knife
Wife .................................... Trouble And Strife
Wig ..................................... Irish Jig
Wig ..................................... Syrup Of Figs
Window .................................. Burnt Cinder
Windy ................................... Mork And Mindy
Wishes .................................. Pots And Dishes
Woman ................................... Gooseberry Pudding
Wood .................................... Do Me Good
Word .................................... Dicky Bird
Wrist Watch ............................. Bottle Of Scotch
Wrist Watch ............................. Gordon And Gotch
Wrong ................................... Pete Tong
Y
Yank .................................... Ham Shank
Yank .................................... Septic Tank
Yank .................................... Sherman Tank
Yank .................................... Wooden Plank
Years ................................... Donkey's Ears
Yid (Jew) ............................... Front Wheel Skid
Yid (Jew) ............................... Tin Lid
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