The following statements may sound familiar:
“She’s a friend of mine.”
“Oh he’s my best friend!”
“You’re not my friend anymore!”
We all have friends—or at least most all of us do. It seems safe to
say that a person who had no friends would not only be lonely, but also
not very happy. Having friends seems to be an important part of being
human, and it is also essential to leading a happy life. But, can we always
tell who our friends are? To answer this question as a philosopher would,
it is necessary to define the concept of friendship
The Greek philosopher Aristotle (384-322 B.C.) thought this was a very important
question. In the Nicomachaean Ethics (named after Nicomacheas, one of Aristotle’s sons),
Aristotle spent much time and energy thinking about friendship. Let’s see whether you agree
with the way Aristotle define friendship and with the types of friendship he describes.
The following are three descriptions of relationships between two people. In the space
after each description, write “agree” or “disagree” to indicate whether you think the examples is
a type of friendship—“agree” if you think it is, “disagree” if you think it is not.
A. If John and Jim help each other with homework on a regular basis, are they friends?
__________________________________
B. If Mary and Liz like to do fun activities with one another, are they friends?
__________________________________
C. Pierre and Manuel frequently discuss important issues with one another. If they always
try to help each other to do the right thinking, are the friends?
__________________________________
If you answered “agree” to all three questions, then you are an Aristotelian, at least as far as
friendship is concerned. For Aristotle, all three relationships are examples of friendships.
Aristotle’s definition of friendship includes three parts. All three parts must be present in a
relationship in order for friendship to exist. Here is Aristotle’s definition of friendship: Two
people are friends with each other if:
1. each person has good will toward the other person;
2. each person wishes good will toward the other person because of any one of the
following three motives; usefulness, pleasure, or moral goodness. For Aristotle,
acting toward another person, from any one of these three motives is enough to
produce a type of friendship; and,
3. each person knows that the other person has good will toward him or her. In other
words, if Mary has good will toward Irene, but Irene does not know that Mary
feels toward her in this way, then Mary and Irene are not friends.
For Aristotle, there are three types of friendships. Part 2 of Aristotle’s definition shows that each
type is based on one of the three motives that connect people with one another: usefulness,
pleasure, or moral goodness. In the three examples given, Example A is a friendship based on
usefulness, Example B is a friendship based on pleasure, Examples C is a friendship based on
moral goodness.
“A friend is one before whom I may think aloud.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson, essayist and poet
BFFs
Plato & Aristotle
For Further Thought—Please answer all questions below:
1. If you did not answer “agree” to all three examples, then ask yourself why you thought that
one (or more) of the examples did not illustrate friendship. The following point might help
you to clarify why you disagree with Aristotle.
2. One way philosophers test a definition is to try to think of a counterexample to that
definition. A counterexample satisfies all the stated elements of the definition, but it
describes a case that does not seem to fit the concept to be defined. Such a case is called a
“counter” –example because, although the instance described is an example of the definition,
it runs “counter” to the point of the definition. If you can think of a counterexample to a
definition, then the definition is probably incomplete or perhaps even incorrect.
(Note: The discussion in Question #1 contains a counterexample by Socrates showing that the
definition of justice is inadequate.)
Here are two hints that might help you to state a counterexample to Aristotle’s definition of
friendship:
a. What does it mean to wish someone “good will”? For example, if you say “hi” to an
acquaintance, are you wishing that person good will?
b. Can you make a friend in five minutes? How important is the element of time to
form a friendship?
3. Here is another way to evaluate Aristotle’s definition of friendship. What percentage of your
friendships are based on usefulness? On pleasure? On moral goodness? Make a list below:
4. If a friendship is based on either usefulness or pleasure, how long do you think this kind of
friendship will last?
5. What s the difference between a friend and an acquaintance?