Spring 2007
Friendship Enhancement Group
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Group Counseling: Teaching Social Skills to Enhance Friendships in Middle School Students
Emily Worsnopp
The purpose of this group is to help middle school sixth and seventh grade students with
poor friendship skills learn specific social skills to improve peer relationships. Group topics
include identifying positive friendship qualities, learning skills to enhance conversation abilities,
recognizing the importance of body language in communication, and learning how to effectively
solve friendship problems. Students are referred by teachers via a form provided by the School
Counselor or through discussion at a student’s CSE meeting, and the group is appropriate for
those who have few friends, are shy or withdrawn or who display inappropriate social skills that
hinder friendship development. The group is formatted to be held in five 30-minute sessions,
and each group is designed for approximately six students.
Offering a small group to enhance the friendship skills of middle school students is
important for a variety of reasons. At this stage, friendships may be especially significant to a
healthy social development because adolescents frequently look to their friends to fulfill their
emotional needs as well as to practice their socialization skills (Lefrancois, 1999, p. 348).
Students lacking this social network thus may not have the necessary opportunities to learn how
to best interact with their peers. Furthermore, adolescents who are unable to develop quality
friendships experience heightened anxiety about school (Sunwolf & Leets, 2004, p. 196). There
also is evidence that inclusion in a healthy peer group predicts academic success for sixth and
eighth grade students (Wentzel & Caldwell, 1997, p. 1206). School counselors are in a position
to help improve the academic and social success of students who have difficulties making and
maintaining positive peer relationships by designing a group to teach them specific social skills
that they can use to improve peer interactions and enhance friendships.
Spring 2007
Friendship Enhancement Group
2
Teaching Social Skills to Enhance Friendship
Session 2: What Does it Mean to Be a Friend?
Author: Emily Worsnopp
Grade Level: 6/7
Group Size: 5 students
Time: 30 minutes
Setting: Small office (counseling office or conference room) with chairs set up in a circle
Goal:
ASCA Personal/Social Standard A: Students will acquire the knowledge, attitudes, and
interpersonal skills to help them understand and respect self and others.
Objective: Students will be able to identify friendship qualities and discuss basic friendship
concepts.
Materials: 1 skein of yarn.
Procedure:
Ice Breaker Activity: The Spider Web
 Begin by explaining that the group will be doing an activity to get them thinking
about what friendship means to them.
 Give the ball of yarn to one student and ask him or her to name one quality that they
consider as important in a friendship. Have the student pass the ball of yarn to
another student to continue the “web” until everyone has identified one quality that is
important to her or him. Before “cleaning up” web connect the image of a web to
friendship (interconnected, reliant upon many parts, etc.)
Discussion: Have students continue to talk about friendship qualities. Some questions to ask
include:
 Is your view of friendship the same as everyone else in the group? What is different?
 Why is a certain quality more important to you than others?
 Are there different ways to act with different friends? (ex: acquaintances, close
friends)
 What are some easy/difficult things about maintaining friendships?
 Do they have friends that have some of these qualities?
 What do they think makes them a good friend?
Homework: Introduce the idea of homework and explain its purpose in helping to transfer the
things discussed in the group to their everyday life. Have students pay attention to interactions
that they have with their peers until the next session. What friendship qualities do they already
exhibit? Are they happy with their friendships? What is missing (from what they do and from
what others do) Have students write self observations down and keep observations in friendship
folder to discuss at next meeting.
Evaluation: Students evaluated based upon their ability to identify and discuss friendship skills.
Ice Breaker Activity adapted from:
Hulse, C. M. (2004). Lesson 38: The spider web. New York State school counselor
association comprehensive school counseling program: Middle level activity book (pp.
88-89). New York: New York State School Counselor Association.
Spring 2007
Friendship Enhancement Group
3
Teaching Social Skills to Enhance Friendship
Session 3: Conversation and Listening Skills
Author: Emily Worsnopp
Grade Level: 6/7
Group Size: 5 students
Time: 30 minutes
Setting: Small office (counseling office or conference room) with chairs set up in a circle
Goals:
ASCA Personal/Social Standard A: Students will acquire the knowledge, attitudes, and
interpersonal skills to help them understand and respect self and others.
NYS CDOS Standard 3a: Universal Foundation Skills
NYS ELA Standard 4: Language for Social Interaction
NYS Arts Standard 1: Creating, Performing and Participating in the Arts
Objective: Students will be able to effectively initiate and maintain a conversation and
understand how conversation skills are important to friendship development and maintenance.
Materials: Conversation and Listening Skills worksheet
Procedure:
Follow-Up on Homework Discussion:
 Begin by having students discuss reactions to homework from previous week.
 What did they discover? How did interactions with peers make them feel? How do they
feel about their current friendships?
 Have students name one of the qualities identified in Session 2 that they exhibited.
Transition to new Lesson: Expanding your social network and communicating effectively with
others:
 Begin by discussing why being able to effectively start conversations and communicate
with others is essential to developing successful relationships. It is important to know
how to start, continue and end conversations for success.
 Ask student to discuss what is scary/easy about starting new conversations, and what is
challenging for them about having conversations, especially with new people.
 Pass out “Conversation skills and Listening Skills” worksheet and discuss.
 Have group members role play conversation skills (ask for volunteers). Encourage all
students to participate. Ask members to come up with situations that might be
challenging for them. Examples might include meeting a new person, asking for help,
pairing up with someone for a class project.
 Have student reflect on role-play. How did it feel to be the one initiating the
conversation? Responding?
Homework:

Ask students to initiate at least one conversation with a new peer over the next week.
Have them write down the results of the conversation, including how they felt, about the
interaction.
Evaluation: Students are evaluated based upon their contributions to the group and their ability
to demonstrate effective communication skills.
Session adapted from:
Waksman, S. & Waskman, D. D. (1998). Conversation Skills. The waksman social skills curriculum for
adolescents: An assertiveness behavior program (4th ed.) (pp. 31-35). Austin, TX:Pro-Ed.
Spring 2007
Friendship Enhancement Group
Name: ______________________________
Conversation and Listening Skills

Approach with confidence.

Make eye contact.

Ask questions about things that interest the other person.

Focus on the person talking.

Get your point across without interrupting.

Listen and respond actively.

Close conversation appropriately. (“It’s been nice talking”, “See
you later”)
Worksheet adapted from:
Richardson, R. C. & Evans, E. T. (1996). Rules for listening. Connecting with others:
Lessons for teaching social and emotional competence, grades 6-8 (p. 82). Champaign,
IL: Research Press, p. 82.
4
Spring 2007
Friendship Enhancement Group
5
Teaching Social Skills to Enhance Friendship
Session 4: Understanding Body Language
Author: Emily Worsnopp
Grade Level: 6/7
Group Size: 5 students
Time: 30 minutes
Setting: Small office (counseling office or conference room) with chairs set up in a circle
Goals:
ASCA Personal/Social Standard A: Students will acquire the knowledge, attitudes, and
interpersonal skills to help them understand and respect self and others.
NYS CDOS Standard 3a: Universal Foundation Skills
NYS ELA Standard 4: Language for Social Interaction
NYS Arts Standard 1: Creating, Performing and Participating in the Arts
Objective: Students will be able to effectively demonstrate and describe positive and negative
body language and relate these skills to friendship enhancement.
Materials: Body Language in Communication handout
Procedure:
Homework Review:
 Use the “go around” method and ask students to share conversation experiences. Were
they able to initate conversations? What was difficult about it? What was easy? Did
they learn anything?
Transition to new topic:
 Explain the importance of body language for communicating.
 Pass out Body Language in Communication worksheet and discuss body language “dos”
and “don’ts” and review worksheet. Practice body language styles on sheet, and
encourage students to have fun with it, especially the “don’ts” category.
 Have students get into pairs. One pair at a time, have student briefly talk about any topic.
One person should talk and the other should demonstrate body language “don’ts”. Have
partners switch roles but now have the listener demontrate body language “dos”. After
each group has gone have students go around the room and discuss behaviors that they
noticed and how it made them feel (as the listener and talker).
 Did members notice any ways that they (or others) use body language effectively in the
group? Go around and ask people how they think their body language impacts how peers
view them. How can body language impact friendship?
Evaluation: Students are evaluated based upon their ability to effectively describe and
demonstrate appropriate and negative body language and discuss the importance of body
language to friendship enhancement.
Adapted from:
Brigman, G. & Goodman, B. E. (2001). Communicating with body language. Group
Counseling for School Counselors: A Practical Guide (pp. 167-168). Portland,
ME: J. Weston Walch.
Spring 2007
Friendship Enhancement Group
6
Name: ______________________________
Body Language in Communication
The communication process is nonverbal as well as verbal. Behavior expresses meaning,
sometimes more clearly than words. To be effective in our relationships with others, we need to
be able to tune into body language and tone of voice. Did you know:
 70% of our communication comes through our body language.
 23% of our communication is through our tone of voice.
 7% of what we communicate is through our words.
We need to pay attention to how we say things as well as what we say.
Dos
Eyes
good eye contact
Voice (volume)
Movement
loud enough to be heard
clearly
tone communicates
understanding
matches your own or
other’s feeling; smile
leaning forward slightly,
relaxed
toward
Distance
arm’s length
Voice (tone)
Facial expressions
Posture
Don’ts
Stare, glare, jittery, no eye
contact
too soft or loud
disinterested, gruff tone,
sarcastic
frown, yawn, sigh, scowl,
blank look
leaning away, rigid,
slouching, crossing arms
away
too close (less than 2
feet); too far (more than
five feet)
Adapted from:
Brigman, G. & Goodman, B. E. (2001). Communicating with body language. Group
Counseling for School Counselors: A Practical Guide (pp. 167-168). Portland,
ME: J. Weston Walch.
Spring 2007
Friendship Enhancement Group
7
Teaching Social Skills to Enhance Friendship
Session 5: Problem Solving and Termination
Author: Emily Worsnopp
Grade Level: 6-8
Group Size: 5-7 students
Time: 30 minutes
Setting: Small office (counseling office or conference room) with chairs set up in a circle
Goals:
ASCA Personal/Social Standard A: Students will acquire the knowledge, attitudes, and
interpersonal skills to help them understand and respect self and others.
ASCA Personal/Social Standard B: Students will make decisions, set goals and take necessary
actions to achieve goals.
NYS CDOS Standard 3a: Universal Foundation Skills
NYS ELA Standard 4: Language for Social Interaction
NYS Arts Standard 1: Creating, Performing and Participating in the Arts
Objective: Students will be able to identify problem solving steps and apply them effectively to
solve interpersonal conflicts.
Materials: Problem Solving Steps worksheet for each student. Easel or white/blackboard and
markers/chalk for brainstorming activity.
Procedure:
 Explain to students that sometimes, even with good friends, we can encounter conflicts
with our friends that might be difficult to solve.
 Pass out Problem Solving Steps worksheet and explain that there are specific steps that
people can take to solve a problem with friends. Using these problems can help to
alleviate stress and avoid more difficult situations with friends in the future.
 Ask students to volunteer a situation (real or imaginary) that demonstrates a problem that
friends can experience.
 After a situation has been established, work with students to help them see how they can
use the problem solving steps to solve problems with their friends. To help with
choosing the best solution, have students discuss them and role play some possible
solutions. After role plays, have the participants and group members discuss if the
scenario worked, or how a better solution can be reached.
Termination:
 Use the “go around” method to have each participant talk about what they feel that they
are best taking away from the group. Have they made progress with making and keeping
friendships? What has been useful to them? How confident are they feeling about being
able to use the skills in the group to help improve their friendships in the future?
Evaluation: Students are evaluated based upon their ability to apply problem solving techniques
to role play exercises.
Adapted from:
Forth, S. (2004). Lesson 32: What is a healthy choice? New York State school counselor
association comprehensive school counseling program: Middle level activity book (pp. 7375). New York: New York State School Counselor Association.
Spring 2007
Friendship Enhancement Group
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Problem Solving Steps
1: Identify the problem.
2: Think of ALL possible solutions. Write them down if you can, or
talk them out with someone.
3: Think about the consequences of each possible solution. Ask
yourself “What could happen if I did this?” Think about how each
solution impacts you and others.
4: Choose the best solution.
5: Put the solution into action! If appropriate, practice the solution with
someone else before hand.
Adapted from:
Forth, S. (2004). Lesson 32: What is a healthy choice? New York State school counselor
association comprehensive school counseling program: Middle level activity book (pp.
73-75). New York: New York State School Counselor Association.
Spring 2007
Friendship Enhancement Group
9
References
Brigman, G. & Goodman, B. E. (2001). Communicating with body language. Group
Counseling for School Counselors: A Practical Guide (pp. 167-168). Portland, ME: J.
Weston Walch.
Forth, S. (2004). Lesson 32: What is a healthy choice? New York State school counselor
association comprehensive school counseling program: Middle level activity book (pp.
73-75). New York: New York State School Counselor Association.
Hulse, C. M. (2004). Lesson 38: The spider web. New York State school counselor
association comprehensive school counseling program: Middle level activity book (pp.
88-89). New York: New York State School Counselor Association.
Lefrancois, G. R. (1999). The Lifespan (6th ed.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth Publishing
Company.
Richardson, R. C. & Evans, E. T. (1996). Rules for listening. Connecting with others:
Lessons for teaching social and emotional competence, grades 6-8 (p. 82). Champaign,
IL: Research Press, p. 82.
Sunwolf & Leets, L. (2004). Being left out: Rejecting outsiders and communicating group
boundaries in childhood and adolescent peer groups. Journal of Applied Communication
Research, 32(3), 195-223.
Waksman, S. & Waskman, D. D. (1998). Conversation Skills. The waksman social skills
curriculum for adolescents: An assertiveness behavior program (4th ed.) (pp. 31-35).
Austin, TX:Pro-Ed.
Wentzel, K. R. & Caldwell, K. (1997). Friendships, peer acceptance, and group membership:
Relations to academic achievement in middle school. Child Development, 68(6), 11981209.