Nice start Vaughn!
There is a lot of orange down there, but remember that these are college level marks, and
as this is your draft, you can utilize them to turn in a college level paper next week.
As always, please feel free to contact us with any questions!
Content/Ideas – 9/12
Organization – 6/8
Grammar – 8/8
Self Evaluation – this will be on the final – as you will need to self-eval your own paper.
Total – 23/28 (remember that this grade is not recorded, it is letting you know where you
are at as of today. If you follow the guidelines advised below, as well as in the
instructions, you should get a near perfect grade when you submit your final paper)
Cloning
When people think of cloning, they probably think of identical people.
(a more formal way to write this sentence would be “The most typical idea
of cloning is the idea of identical humans”)This is cloning,(this is a type of
cloning, but it is not something utilized – no? Just dramatic musings on
what could be created with the use of cloning?) but there are much more
practical ways of its use. Although cloning humans can be considered
unethical, there are many different types of cloning and they that could be
put to good use.
First of all, we do have the technology (exists) to “clone” humans.
The main reason that (human cloning is not performed) (notice how I am
taking out all of your “we”s? Now I, you, or we in formal essays) we do not
clone ourselves is because it is considered unethical. (and would there be a
purpose? A real, useful purpose?) Congress has been debating over passing
a legislation banning human cloning1 (author and date). Another reason
cloning is unethical is because in 100 attempts to clone animals, only about
1 to 2 (single digit numbers are to be spelled out in full) are successful, and
with humans the results would most likely be the same2. (author and
date)We don’t have enough information about reproductive cloning to try to
clone humans. It could end up as a potential danger. Scientists also have no
idea about how the brain will develop in a cloned human.
Although human cloning is unethical, there are many other types of
cloning that could be used: (don’t capitalize after colon) Recombinant DNA
cloning, reproductive cloning, and therapeutic cloning. Recombinant DNA
cloning is when a selected DNA fragment from an organism into a bacterial
plasmid, which can make copies of that gene.(no idea what this means. You
might want to clarify) Reproductive cloning is easily known as the type of
cloning where you make a copy of a living organism, such as a human. (but
you are saying that these examples are “other” than human…) Therapeutic
cloning is the production of human embryos, but not to create humans. The
embryos are used to retrieve stem cells so that they can be used to for
medical purposes such as replacing cancerous cells. (no new paragraph.
This information is a continuation of …)
Next, these types of cloning can
be put to good use. If the DNA of an extinct organism was found, that
organism could be cloned using recombinant DNA cloning, thus bringing
back the species. In reproductive cloning, a dying organism that is of
importance, such as the last of its species, could be reproduced using
reproductive cloning. With therapeutic cloning, researchers believe that the
extracted stem cells could be used for new medical treatments3.(author and
date)
In conclusion, cloning does not have to involve the copying of another
human; it has much more beneficial, practical uses. Cloning is not only and
option for the future but it has been used in the past. For example, scientists
successfully cloned a sheep named Dolly in February 19964. With cloning,
we could make many breakthroughs in the scientific world. (your summary
opens the door to more questions – like the importance of Dolly. You could
have one more paragraph discussing what has already been done in this
field, then your summary paragraph.)
Vaughn Kottler
No numbers on your reference page.
1. “Cloning Fact Sheet.” (2006). Human Genome Project. Retrieved: April 30,
2009 from:
http://www.ornl.gov/sci/techresources/Human_Genome/elsi/cloning.shtml
2. “Cloning Fact Sheet.” (2006). Human Genome Project. Retrieved: March
20, 2006 from:
http://www.ornl.gov/sci/techresources/Human_Genome/elsi/cloning.shtml
3. Mayo Clinic staff. (2009). “Stem Cell Transplant.” Mayo Clinic. Retrieved:
May 1, 2009 from: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/stem-cells/CA00081
4. Bruce, Donald. (1998).”Looking at the ethics of technology for a New
Millennium.” Society, Religion and Technology Project. Retrieved: May 1,
2009 from: http://www.srtp.org.uk/clonan3.htm