As a comparatively new Vice Principal of an all-girls large secondary college, I was
keen to explore all aspects of assertive communication skills which could enhance my
personal development of effective leadership, self-awareness and inter-personal
relationships.
Consequently, I applied for and was accepted for the Assertive
Communication Skills for Woman organised by Skillpath Seminars at the Stormont
Hotel, Belfast.
Being assertive is about being confident and in control of our personal power which
we must learn to use as effectively as possible when leading/managing staff both
inside and outside of school. Silence is acceptance so we must have courage of our
convictions in relationships with others and control our actions without comprising
our position. This seminar helped identify the five steps of assertive communication
i.e. communication style, assertive communication skills, common communication
situations, communicating through conflict and communicating to get to the top.
By dealing in depth with each of these five important steps on the journey through
effective/assertive communication we smooth the transition from one step to the next
and help ourselves prepare for the difficult people and/or situations even if we cannot
change them. It is important for me to learn to say ‘No’ or put my point across in a
non-aggressive/non passive manner and be fully aware of how others interpret my
actions/body language. I became acutely aware how our emotional cycle can be
slowly destroyed through constant negativity and so the need arose to be introduced to
techniques which help us cope and alter uncomfortable situations. By means of an
informal survey, each female went through a self-style analysis to get a clearer picture
of how we perceived ourselves and this produced great humour and even greater
discussion.
This seminar has helped me be more aware of myself particularly when in daily
contact with pupils. Through our pastoral care system, our pupils can benefit greatly
from many of the ideas highlighted and realise that the importance of their selfconfidence,
personal
power
and
self-control
cannot
be
over-emphasised.
Consequently, my approach and manner, particularly in dealing with disciplinary
issues, has had to be modified, and become less intimidating both verbally and
visually and more controlled.
In addition, when dealing with other school personnel, I more fully recognise the
power of both spoken, written and non-verbal communications and continue to
practice turning reactive behaviour into proactive.
I more fully understand how
various approaches attitudes and styles can be interpreted and can impact
positively/negatively on the team/individual. I have become more self-aware of my
limitations in dealing with pressure and conflict situations and have found strategies
to improve my mental/emotional resilience. With prolonged effort, constant revisiting
of literature provided, analysing formal/informal situations more deeply, hopefully, I
can increase my personal power and inspire others by my leadership behaviour.
Following school policy, information from this course will be posted on our intranet
so that all teaching/non teaching staff can access valuable educational information to
help re-energise and up-date themselves.
Thanks to the GTCNI bursary I was able to attend this seminar and, hopefully, before
the end of this first term, I will visit Oxclose Community College to exchange good
practice with Deputy Head, staff and pupils of this Performing Arts Specialist College
with whom our own college has recently forged new links. Consequently I will
endeavour to network more effectively and help establish St Cecilia’s as a Performing
and Visual Arts College as we embark this year on a new pilot initiative.