Official Manual of Instruction on Isaac Jogues’ Stations of the Cross by
www.mentaldisorder.com
for souls who love to suffer for Jesus Christ
The un-forsaken missionary man witnessed horror, endured torture, and uniquely gave
beyond reason while chronically committing one sin – he enabled adversaries to ruin his
flesh, a temple of God. Theologically schooled by twisted Jesuit thought to despise the body
and all the pain or pleasure that pertained to it, the hapless demon-possessed priest became
a glutton for punishment and ignominiously received an excessive portion of abuse in the
“howling wilderness” of the belligerent Iroquois, the people of the longhouses. Meticulously
learn and witness
Isaac Jogues’ Stations of the Cross
Isaac Jogues’ Stations of the Cross is a (two to eight player) fun and educational card game
that requires less than 60 minutes to play.
Take a “new world order” journey back to the years between 1642 and 1646 when violence
was escalating in the Backwoods of America. Pride of place was second only to pride of
blood, including the blood of man’s savior. Chronologically follow the last footsteps of a
theologically ambitious man tenaciously clinging to delusions of grandeur and the Holy
Gospels under the merciless vault of nature. Correctly CHOOSE the most incidents
involving this lost Lamb of God with minimal error based on a memory of revelation and
you get to victoriously decide the “game over” question because the Great Spirit demands
it.
Rules for immediate play are as follows:
Game ends after 14th card is chosen and campaign of all players reaches conclusion. Final
adjudication of any rules dispute is the burden of the most French-looking player.
The most French-looking player engineers, manages, and controls the following set-up
phase:
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7)
SHUFFLE all 95 cards
REVEAL 14 cards
RECORD quantified value of 14 revealed cards on a piece of paper in
numerical chronological order
ALLOW all players to exam revelation for three minutes
CONCEAL paper until campaign phase of game ends
SHUFFLE all 95 cards again
DEAL all cards to each player, conspicuously discarding remainder. This
constitutes each player’s hand required for the campaign phase.
Beginning with the most French-looking player and rotating counterclockwise, each player
performs and repeats the following campaign actions per turn until all players conclude
campaign phase:
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
CONCLUDE campaign by not playing a card
PLAY in accordance with your interpretation of the rules in numerical
chronological sequence and known/proven algebraic mathematical Fourier or
geometric series one, three, or more cards by conspicuously placing cards from
your hand onto a Game Parlor table
CHOOSE card(s) from series and place them in front of you
DISCARD other played card(s) from series
CHOOSE card(s) previously discarded by other players
Calculation of each player’s score is to be conducted by the most French-looking player in
the end game phase:
1)
2)
3)
Fully DISCLOSE previously concealed paper.
AWARD three wampum points per chosen card that was a revealed card and
REFUSE one wampum point per chosen card that was not a revealed card to
each respective player.
SUM each player’s wampum points
Player with the most wampum points wins and must answer an equivalent question by
the Great Spirit during the end game victory ceremony. When moon full and cedar red
wax wing gather and wind bend white pine and babbling brook echo, what is an
effective “protection order” social program still enforced on the Iroquois?
Je me souvien et vive le vendetta.
Vengeance is mine sayeth the lord. Leviticus 19:18
Play recommendations:
The concealed paper is to be treated as a top secret document or highly classified memo
with the utmost gravity until the campaign ends.
Do not get bog down with intense analysis of 3/4/5 triangles, theoretical harmonic series or
oscillating functions tantamount to an inexact partial differential vibration heat equation.
Exchange pleasantries while playing this numbers, memorization, spiritual, and fun history
card game.
All rules no mater how well written and with good intent of the designer are subject to
interpretation. Consequently, the burden of judgment must rest with an absolute
authority. Burden of power is reluctantly given to the most French-looking player because
of notoriety and a preponderance body of forensic evidence. Do not be surprised if this
player is not irreverent, corrupt, unfit, nicotine-dependant, financially irresponsible,
tattooed, morally bankrupt, mentally retarded, weak, degenerate, homosexual, crippled,
mutilated, or addicted to licit psychotropic behavior medication.
Author notes:
English translations of 1642-47 Jesuit Relations were the primary sources used in
developing card content. Quotations on cards are those of Isaac Jogues unless otherwise
noted.
About the credibility of the author:
Having spent almost six months primitive camping along the Mohawk river, near Lake
Champlain and George, and inside the Adirondacks of upstate New York during the
strange spring, summer and fall of 2008, I decided to apply myself in more ways than just
discovery. Being a man of letters and action, I decided to author another prolific card
game. Rigorously researching in local libraries and observing at pre-historic village sites &
war paths, I became enthralled by a recurring miserable theme while in the Dark Shadows
of the “People of the place of the flint.” It was projected everywhere: at reenactments,
inside a dripping tent and stumbling about giant cooters. The unrelenting curse climbed
the tallest peak twice, briefly visited the fleuve Saint-Laurent, and was also baptized by the
last gasp of a hurricane wind. Fully immersed in a freezing cold mountain pool of water – it
was there. It danced with black flies, mosquitoes, and dear flies. Visible in the muddy paw
prints of black bear and scat of wild cat. It was mocking, disturbing, and haunting by the
twilight call from a confident loon. The thing started nocturnal fires and resurrected
troubles of my past. The monster watched the slow seasonal shape shifting color of leaves.
Uniformed and unregulated it harassed. I did my best to try and understand the horrible
journey of a righteous prophet without qualifying as one of those wretched followers.
Although I did not physically and mentally explore all of the sites, sounds, smells, and
temperatures where Isaac Jogues, the black robed and naked priest struggled, I am
partially qualified to simulate and recognize our puny adventurer’s futile quest in the form
of a harmless card game because I was not incline to exactly follow his religious order.
Given a successful hike into the unforgiving land of the Bark Eaters and cannibals, I
submit some truth wrapped in a riddle of agony, presented as an offensive parable, and
scrawled by the hand of an unhappy humiliated defiant father. Endeavor to camp and bon
voyage preferably with family, my brave son Levite.
Final Comments:
The mid 17th century was a dangerous time. The operative word was violence. Terror was
prevalent. Paranoia and uncertainty was in the air. The beaver wars increased the hostility
index for four ruthless empires – Iroquois, French, Dutch, and English. It had nothing to
do with business; everything was personal. The law of corporate responsibility and the
unforgiving law of nature dominated the minds of all men in the New World. Introduced
three times into this storm comes a Black Robe with great faith and exits by the grace of
God, Saint Isaac Jogues.
In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost,
Charles Stanard Severance, Count of Château Levite
PrincipleInvestigator@www.mentaldisorder.com