Writing (Lucy Calkins)
Raising the Quality of Narrative Writing
Unit Goals:
 Improve the quality of writing and the writers
 Draw on what they already know (refer to previous unit’s charts)
 Bring more significance in their writing
o More emotional weight
o Following a story arc
o Write about a first (or last) time we did something; about a time we learned
something, or a time we felt a strong emotion –hope, worry, and sadness.
Results in stories that are often significant and shapely
 Read texts like those they will write (mentor texts)
 Focused narratives; “small moment stories”/scenes
o Put a few scenes (or small moments) one after another -a story with a
beginning, a middle, and an end
Mentor Texts
“Eleven” by Sandra Disneros
Chicken Soup for Kids
Shortcut by Crews
Owl Moon by Yolen
Peter’s Chair by Keats
Knuffle Bunny by Willems
Session I
Reading With a Writer’s Eye
(pp. 1-15)
Teaching Point: One way writers make writing powerful is studying the
writing of authors we admire.
 Immerse students in sorts of texts we hope they will write; learn from
what the author’s have done
 “What does this author do that I could try in order to make my own
writing more powerful?”
(text p. 3-9) Search for an appropriate mentor text, then read and experience
the text we select. Reread as writers to derive techniques worth emulating.
 Writers often read writing that resembles what we hope to do
 Read, reread, reread…
 “Eleven” by Sandra Disneros (mentor text)
o read the red-sweater excerpt
 How does this kind of writing main go?
 What has the author done here that I could try?
 Read as though you’re reading to yourself; demonstrate
experiencing the story as you read it; act out little bits of the
text subtly
 “What do I notice about this story?” What are the main things that Sandra
Disneros has done that I need to keep in mind if I’m going to write like
this?”
o (make a mental list) “She’s written about an episode in her life
that other people might not realize was a big deal, but that
really did matter to her.” (charted on paper entitled Lessons from
Mentor Personal Narratives)
o “She writes it from start to finish with so much detail that I
practically feel as if I am reliving the episode. She recorded
the exact words Mrs. Price said, which was probably how the
episode started.” (charted on paper entitled Lessons from Mentor
Personal Narratives)
o “She has a lot of feelings. She doesn’t just tell that the
sweater was disgusting and all, she showed it by describing
it carefully.” (charted on paper entitled Lessons from Mentor Personal
Narratives)
Writing
Give students copies of mentor texts Shortcut and “Your Name in Gold”.
Read the texts first to experience them, and then read them again to study
the main things the author has done. List what you see the author has done
that you can try in your writer’s notebooks. (Work silently for approximately 10
minutes, then talk about findings.)
(text pp. 11-14)
Share the comments written in writer’s notebooks from reading the narratives
Shortcut and “Your Name In Gold”
 (examples) “Your Name in Gold” really is two small moments;
Shortcut told about when the kids walked on the train tracks before
the train came, then when the train came, and when it rattled off.
 Writer’s zoomed in, but they didn’t just write about one moment.
Sometimes first writing about an earlier moment sets up the moment.
Writers often include two and sometimes three small moments
so that there is a sense that the stories have a beginning, a
middle, and an end. (charted on paper entitled Lessons from Mentor
Personal Narratives)
Activity
“Eleven” (touchstone text) symphony share -allow time for students to read
silently the entire text. When a student is pointed at (similar to a conductor
pointing his/her baton) they will read aloud a tiny excerpt, an excerpt they
especially like. The excerpt can be a sentence or a phrase. Begin the
recitation by saying “Powerful Writing, by Sandra Disneros”.
Session II
Starting With Turning Points
(text pp. 18-28)
Teaching Point: Use strategies already learned for generating narrative
writing. Writers think of first times, last times, or times of important
realizations to generate writing.
(text pp. 19-28) When writers want to generate ideas for personal narratives,
they often think of turning point moments.
 First times, last times, or times when I realized something important
–turning point stories
o Take something/anything you do all the time, then think, ‘When is
the first time I
?’ Maybe it wasn’t the very first time, but it
was an early time.
o “In order to come up with a last time I did something, go through
the same steps… this time, end up remembering the last time I
.
o ‘What moment can I recall when suddenly I realized something
important? Think about ‘Your Name in Gold’; Anne wrote about
that moment because that’s when she suddenly realized her sister
really cared for her.
Activity (text p. 21)
Students will think of turning point stories they could write and jot those ideas
in their writer’s notebooks so they have a list of story ideas for later.
 Suggest some general topics; try to think of a turning point story you
could write. Jot the idea down in writer’s notebooks so that later,
there will be a list of ideas to come back to.
o First time you did something that felt, at the time, like it was hard
for you….. swimming across the pool, walking to school and/or
riding your bike to school by yourself
o First time you did something that now you do every day… seeing
your younger brother/sister, coming into this classroom, walking to
school from your house, playing a sport, reading a book
o Think about the last time you saw a person (or a pet) who died, or
the last time you saw someone who left you
o Think about the time you realized something about yourself, or
about a person you know well
o Think about a time you realized something almost happened to
you -something that would have changed your life
(reveal the Questions to Ask to Find Turning Points chart)
Add the turning point strategy to the Strategies for Generating Personal
Narrative Writing chart
Writing
Gather entries, drawing on any strategy from the charts. Take just a few
minutes to jot a few quick lists of ideas for entries, then select an idea from
your list and write it.
Session III
Starting With Strong Feelings
(text pp. 31-40)
Teaching Point: Writers can generate personal narrative writing by
choosing a strong feeling and writing the story of one particular time
feeling that feeling.
 Writing revolves around not only a central event but also around a
person who has feelings and motivations.
 Focus on a time when a character (the writer) had motivations
(strong feelings) -worry, hope, embarrassment, sadness
(text p. 32-36)
It’s easier to write well if we’re writing about small moments that are, for some
reason, important ones.
Usually, we’ll want to recall times when we wanted something badly or felt
something strongly.
Think of a strong feeling –worry, hopefulness, embarrassment or sadness.
 Write a feeling at the top of a page, and then ask ourselves, “Can I
remember one particular time when I felt that feeling?’
 Then write the story of that time.
 (text p. 33) share ideas reflecting this strategy
o times of worry
o times of embarrassment
 (text p. 34) use Smart camera to show text of paragraph
that tells a story of a time of embarrassment
 Debrief:
o Write a feeling
o List small moments when you felt that feeling
o Decide on one that was significant and would make a good story
o Write the story-idea out as a real story, just like the stories we’ve
read
o (charted on paper entitled Strategies for Generating Personal Narrative
Writing) Think of a strong feeling, then list small moment stories
pertaining to that feeling. Choose one and write about it.
Writing
Open writer’s notebooks to a blank page. Write down hope. Think back over
your life to very particular times when you were hoping for something…
hoping for a present, for recognition, for someone to come, to call, to say yes
Share lists
Continue writing entries that could grow into stories. Then take a very
significant one of those moments, and write it as a story.
Remembering to Paragraph
(text pp. 37-38)
“For readers to be able to take in our writing, we need to chunk our writing
into paragraphs.”
 Paragraphs give readers pauses to envision what we’ve said
 Allows readers to take in one thing we’ve said before the next thing
happens
 Use paragraphs when: (chart)
o new character comes along
o new event happens; new idea is introduced
o new setting
o new person speaking
o time moves forward (or backward) a lot
Activity
Give students copy of Miss Armstrong’s story; divide the story into
paragraphs. Make artful decisions; no guidelines tell exactly what to do.
Must do the same with your own writing.
Session IV
Yesterday’s Revisions Become Today’s Standard Practice
(text pp. 46-56)
Teaching point: Guide students to set goals for lifting the quality of their
narrative entries by using all that they’ve learned so far about writing
well.
 As new entries are drafted, students need to draw upon all they’ve
learned in the previous unit
(text pp. 46-47)
Continue to use strategies for generating ideas for true stories whenever
you’re unsure of a topic for writing; your life itself sparks your writing –that
true for lots of writers.
What they once did through revision and editing can now become part of
planning and drafting.
Instead of helping you think about what to write, I’ll help you think about how
to write.
Things you did to revise and edit your last piece of writing can now move
forward in your writing process becoming a part of what you do naturally as
you write an entry or a first draft.
What was at one time a revision and editing strategy ends up becoming
part of planning and drafting.
“We’ve talked about studying authors and the text they write (Shortcut,
“Eleven”, “Your Name In Gold”). Today we’ll study a student author (Sophie)
and how as she read her story over, she was reminding herself of all that she
already learned as a writer.”
(reveal/give students copy of first paragraph of Sophie’s last publication)
 After reading her first paragraph, Sophie made this list: *
o
o
o
o
o
o
Indent! Write in paragraphs
Zoom in on a small moment
Start at the beginning
Start with dialogue or small action
Follow the timeline step by step
Tell what I was thinking
*on shared drive (Writing folder)
Active Engagement: Begin looking at entries in Writer’s Notebooks. Think
about an entry that could be written into a draft where these strategies would
become part of that planning and drafting.
(pp. 48-49)
Study the next sections of Sophie’s publication.
 Think about other things that she’s learned to do (from list)
Give students copy of the rest of Sophie’s publication. Discuss with partners
things that she has learned and evidence of her applying them in her writing.
(Sophie’s publication –part 2)
After discussion add the final two lessons to the list
(on Shared Drive/Writing)
Active Engagement: Reminders for incorporating things you’ve learned into
your future publication(s):
 Remembers the lessons learned so you can grow stronger and more
skilled as writers.
 Becoming stronger and more skilled takes more than just
remembering –it takes action.
 Take what you’ve learned and do it, use it, again and agin until it’s
easy enough for you that you can learn something even newer and
even more challenging.
 Make some plans and take some action!
(continue working on personal narrative draft)
Session V
Studying and Creating Leads
(text pp. 82-86)
Teaching Point: Mentor texts can guide them as they draft and revise
leads.
Study leads in mentor texts, learning from the work that other authors have
done.
 Owl Moon lead
o Can teach us that authors begin a draft thinking, “How can my
lead link to the heart of my story?”
o From the start, readers need to sense what the story is really
about.
o Can help pay attention to the grammar and syntax of leads
o Often begin sentences with a clause that sets the scene,
establishes the time or location, or describes the action.
(text pp. 82-85)
Reminder of techniques learned when studying leads in Unit 1
 Looked at work of published authors learning some techniques to try
o Often works to start a narrative by telling a small action,
establishing the setting, or by having a character say
something.
Owl Moon by Jane Yolen
(copy lead on text p. 83 onto chart paper)
 Yolen has highlighted the narrator’s relationship with her father (first
sentence) -and the silence of the night.
 Story is really about a silent, wordless closeness she and her dad
shared when they went owling.
 Yolen isn’t hesitant to give us all the vital facts we need to know to
understand what’s going on in her story.
 She tells us who is doing what, where. She even does this in one
single sentence.
o Where and when (‘Late one winter night, long past my
bedtime’)
o Who (‘Pa and I’)
o What (‘went owling’)
 She doesn’t answer these in a boring way. You can
feel that she’s going to tell a story.
 Story feeling comes partly from changing the usual order of the
sentence.
o She puts when and where first, then adds a comma and
then tells the action. ‘It was late one winter night, long past
my bedtime, when Pa and I went owling.’
 Try a lead like Yolen’s writing a sentence that answers the who,
what, where, and when questions
Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White
 What techniques were used by the author in writing the lead?
Active Engagement: Remind writers that today, and whenever they write,
they can let authors become their teachers.
Continue studying/admiring leads. Progress in the writing of your own
personal narrative story.
End of workshop activity:
(text p. 90)
 Share Sophie’s initial beginning of her draft (on shared drive/writing
folder)
o She realized her narrative is really a story about she and
Claudia
 Show Sophie’s new lead (on shared drive/writing folder)
o Began with action and with Claudia. Listen and look for four
smart things that Sophie’s done.
What smart things have you done in your writing today?
Session VI
Ending Stories
(text pp. 138-140)
Teaching Point: Writer’s don’t just end stories, we resolve problems,
learn lessons, and make changes to end them effectively.
Whenever you write a personal narrative, you can get a lot of power by using
story structure (structure similar in Peter’s Chair and Shortcut)…
‘Somebody wanted… but then… and so, finally… ‘
How to write resolution to their story. The part represented by the words
‘and so, finally… ‘
 Writers don’t just end stories, they resolve problems, change our
feelings, learn from our lessons.
(text p. 138)
Questions meant to elicit the story’s real meaning:
 What is my story really, really about?
 What was I wanting or struggling to achieve or reaching towards in
my story?
 How does that story end?
 What is it I want to say to my readers about this struggle, this
journey?
Possible endings to story about Eliza insulting me; there wasn’t a happy
ending or a resolution in writer’s life
(write on chart paper)
 (ending #1) Lucy got a part in the play. She hope that would help her
gain acceptance by the in-group. It didn’t help.
o Story is left hanging
o To make the story better, writer needs to figure out how to bring
the story to some resolution
o Needs to remember what story is really about –longing to be
popular- “What action could I put at the end of my story that goes
with the real message of my story?”
 (ending #2) That incident happened more than forty years ago, but I
still remember it. And now I try to help children grow up
understanding that popularity isn’t the only thing that matters.
o Reread the ending. Stand way back from the actual event and
look at it from a distance.
 (ending #3)
“I think your dress is fine. It’s not antique at all,” Emma said,
shooting an angry look at Eliza.
Then I said to Emma, “Do you want to meet after school and figure
out our costumes?” Eliza made a big huffy noise and turned away.
Active engagement: Take out drafts and imagine the story mountain
structure for your own narratives.
 Use that story mountain to help you revise your endings.
 Ask yourself,
o ‘What is my story really, really, about?
o What was I wanting or struggling to achieve or reaching towards
in my story?
o How does that story end?
o And what is it I want to say to my readers about this struggle, this
journey?’
 Look through your draft for the journey.
o What are the emotions that you, the main character, are feeling at
the beginning?
o Do they build toward the heart of the story?
o Do your emotions start to change at the turning point?
o Do you reach a different emotional state by the end?
 Invest yourself in drafting endings that convey what you want to say.
o May be tired by the time you reach the ending; may just slap
something down on the page.
o When revising, look closely at the ending; that is what readers
will read last. It’s what they’ll carry with them.
 Your endings need to link back to the top of your story mountain. Your
endings, like your beginnings, need to help convey what it is we most want
to say.
Session VII
Use Copyediting Symbols
Mastering the Mechanics (Grades 4-5)
pp. 42-43; Copy Editor’s Symbols (p. 160); color-coded symbols chart
Teaching point: Writers carefully look for mistakes in writing and fix
them. Symbols make it easier for the author to fix the problems.
(Prime Time 1) “Have you noticed that books we check out from the library
usually don’t have mistakes in them at all? Do you think the writer had errors
in the writing at one time?”

Copy editors carefully look for mistakes in writing and fix them
“Today we’ll think like a copy editor and use copyediting symbols to show
problems we find in our personal narrative writings.”

Copyediting symbols make it easier for the writer to fix the problems
Active Engagement
Use mentor text Miss Armstrong’s Story to practice carefully looking for errors
and using copyediting symbols to show the problems
o Display document and model finding errors on Smartcamera
o Continue modeling and discussing errors in first two paragraphs
of mentor text
o (Turn and Talk) Carefully look for errors in the third paragraph of
mentor text. Use copyediting symbols to show the problems
(Prime Time 2) “How might copyediting symbols help us make writing
better?”

When we publish pieces, they need to be error-free so our meaning will be understood
by our readers.
Assignment
Students will use copyediting symbols to mark their errors on personal
narrative writing piece.