RITMIC CHEMISTRY
CARBONS, CARBONS, EVERYWHERE
Carbons, carbons, everywhere,
In a beaker, or in the air.
When there’s one, it’s simple fun,
But methanol isn’t the only one.
When there are two, and your desk’s wet with drool,
Dream of the bond that makes the molecule.
When there are three, what a company,
Propane, propene, propyne, how sweet.
When there are four, oh what a bore,
Until hydroxyl spawns alcohol galore.
When there are six, oh what a fix,
To be a benzene, the center of cliques.
When there are seven, it’s almost heavenly,
Just a methyl away, methyl benzene or toluene.
When there are eight, and ya wanna oxidate,
Baeyer-Villiger with ketone makes acetate.
When there are nine, and smelling benign,
Add aldehyde or ketone with amine to make imine.
When there are ten, and you can’t see the end,
Relax and breath before your mind caves in.
Carbons, carbons, everywhere,
They’ll keep growing till you lose your hair!!
--Heather Noojin
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ORGANIC CHEMISTRY
When I hear Organic Chemistry
I start to shake at the knee
When I hear the word organic
I wish that I were a mechanic
When I hear the word reaction
I start to sweat with a passion
When I hear Sn2
I pray I finish my semester, 2
When I hear NMR
I wish I were drunk in a bar
When I hear the word base
I pray to get out of this place
But, now I hear the word organic
I don’t sweat, I only panic
Now, I hear Organic Chemistry
Who knows, it could be you or me
---Bill Donohue, Fall 1999
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RIGHT OR WRONG
Can a molecule be right or wrong?
That depends on its orientation
First, find the carbon with 4 arms
Make it the center of your nation
Turn the hydrogen to the north
And tell it to never move forth
Can a molecule be right or wrong?
Give priority to the arm that is not a C
For it is stronger than thee
Now only two arms remain
Of which the heaviest one sustain
--Carol Olds
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WHAT I HAVE LEARNED
Chemistry, Chemistry, Oh how I love thee,
Although this class is not really for me.
Working so hard at finding the answer,
Some times I wonder if it really matters.
I occasionally wish the compounds would leave me alone,
But I recall amines, amides and even ketones.
Some how, I have retained of concepts their quality,
Concepts of organic chemistry, like that of chirality.
Steric hindrance is one way to block a nucleophilic attack,
Nevertheless, the nucleophile can attack from the back.
The E1 and E2 are general reactions
And all they require are simple subtractions.
When protons are in the beta spin state
They give off a signal that is really great.
I have also learned that carbocations require special stability
To make them much less jittery.
Although it took me many weeks,
I finally figured out all of the NMR peaks.
After two long semesters, it is not easy to hide
My special love for aldehyde.
--Amanda Macudzinski
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WHAT ORGANIC CHEMISTRY MEANS TO ME
O is for the open arms that greet me each and every day
R is for the readiness I have when I enter the study bay
G is for the greatness that’s destined to come my way
A is for the anticipation that overwhelms me day by day
N is for the nervousness that thoughts of a test convey
I is for the interest my professor has always on display
C is for the commitment one must have to make an A
C is for the complex mechanisms of reactions so delicate
H is for the halogens and halides we study and soon forget
E is for the effort I put forth to get ahead
M is for the many hours of study I have to dedicate
I is for the interaction I have with my classmates when in doubt
S is for Sarah’s right answers when nobody else can give them out
T is for the two semesters I have struggled through
R is for the ripping and running I just did to get here before two
Y is for yesterday, when I loved chemistry less than today.
-- Beryl Jenkins
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