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Contemporary
Traditional
Humorous
Leith Valley 2006 – Phil Scadden
15
Medium
Christmas Again!
Leith Valley Kidztime 2006 written by Phil Scadden.
Cast:
Ms Sunday School Superintendent
Camels: One & Two
Angel One (Plus?
)
Mary
Joseph
Kings One, Two & Three
Angel sister of King One
Shepherds: small, one, two, three
Visitor
Down & Out looking Man
Woman with Baby
Adult Jesus
Two ladies: Doreen and old Mrs E
[Riot of Sunday School kids, dressed (or partly dressed) for
Christmas pageant all at front. Harassed Ms Sunday School
Supervisor at mike]
Ms SS: Okay, let’s get this dress rehearsal for our Christmas play underway.
Has the camel showed up?
Camel 1: I’m here but my back-side isn’t here yet.
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Ms SS: Never mind. Let’s get underway. Oh, the shepherds aren’t dressed
yet. Come here and let’s get you sorted”
(Fusses with shepherds)
Angel1: (holding up a blue cloak) Hey Mxxxxx, Here’s the Mary costume
for you. You’d better get dressed.
Mary: I don’t want THAT. I’ve waited YEARS for my turn to be Mary and I’m
not going on stage in that old rag. What do you think of THIS for a Mary
costume? (Produces a rich inappropriate cloak)
Angel1 (Doubtfully) Very pretty but…
(3 boys in king’s clothes walk across front)
K1: Look what I’ve got for the gold! (Opens up box to show full of $1,$2
coins).
K2: Wow!! Nearly real gold. Where did you get all those?
K1: Busking. I’m really good. Got all this in a couple of hours.
Angel Sister of K1: (sarcastically) Really good? They were paying you to
go away!
K1: (sticks out tongue at sister). Very funny. (turns back to kings) No
more worries over what’s under the Christmas tree for me. Anything on my
list that I don’t get, then I’ll buy it at the Warehouse in the Boxing Day sale.
Ms SS: Okay boys, you are looking good. Did you remember to get
something for the gifts?
K1: Sure did. (Shows gold)
K2: (holds up a bottle). All the myrrh you could want.
K3: (holds up Frankenstein mask). Are you sure that Frankenstein was
around with Jesus?
Ms SS NO! It’s frankincense not Frankenstein, you silly boy. Frankincense is
a really expensive perfume, fit for a king. Let me see what I can find. (goes
offstage)
K3: Well, if I was Jesus, I’d rather have a Frankenstein mask than some
smelly perfume.
(Ms SS comes back with a bottle)
Ms SS: Here, use this for the moment. Now down the back with the camel.
Shoo. How are the angels doing? (Starts looking over angels)
Two ladies, one very old pushed in wheel chair, enter.
Doreen: Sorry S. Didn’t think you’d mind if I brought old Mrs E in to see the
dress rehearsal. She can’t come on the day. (To Mrs E) There you are
dearie. I'll be right back. (Hurries out. From back of church) Thanks S.
Gotta do some shopping.
Ms SS. DOREEN, But…oh… typical. Poor dear can hardly see. Oh well. Where
were we? Right, how many angels have I got? Where’s Bxxxxx"?
Ms E: (quietly) Doreen?
Bxxxx: (limping in on crutch or stick) Sorry I’m late. I've munted my
leg though.
Ms E: (Louder) Doreen?
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Ms SS. Oh no! You can’t be an angel if you can’t dance. How about you hold
the star and Dxxxx can be an angel?
Dxxxx: (holding up the star) No way. You promised me I would be the
star of the show!
Ms E: DOREEN! Oh, where is she?
Bxxxxx: Look, it’s okay. I’ll go sit with Ms E and tell her about what she
can’t see.
(sits and talks with Ms E)
Ms S: Thank you Bxxxxx, Now, where's our archangel?
(Gxxxxx enters with washing basket of groceries)
Ms SS: Gxxxx, what do you have there?
Gxxxxx: I won 3rd prize in the Christmas raffle. I was hoping to win the
holiday cruise but I got these. (Looks over stuff) I think Mum has already
got a lot of this stuff, but if she doesn’t have to go to the supermarket for
while it will be easier to talk her into Cadbury's Chocolate World, and some
shopping at the Meridian.
Ms SS: Lucky you, now get changed quickly. Everyone to their places.
(Ms SS: or choose others to narrate) narrates the travel to
Bethlehem, no room in inn, Luke 2:1-7 then SONG: BORN IN THE
NIGHT
Ms SSOkay, can we have Mary and Joseph walk onstage - - Joseph, hold
Mary's hand.
Jxxxxx: Yuck, no way! I'll get girl-germs.
Ms SS: You either hold Mary's hand or trade the Joseph part for the backend
of the camel!
Jxxxxx: Oh all right (Gingerly takes her hand and walks)
[Narrate Mary's time came, baby born. In the fields above
Bethlehem... Luke 2 8-12 SONG: COME AND JOIN THE CELEBRATION
verses 1]
Ms SS:. Shepherds up to the left. – Next one that tries to trip someone up
with their crook is going to be the backend of the camel. That’s better. Now
sit or sleep
[Narrate story of the Shepherds announcement Luke 2:13-14 SONG:
HARK THE HERALD ANGELS SING verse 1 & chorus only]
Enter the angels. Doing a dance.
[Visitor appears in front of aisle]
V: Sorry to interrupt, missus, but I was looking for the foodbank.
Ms Super: The foodbank is closed now. There’ve been notices in the
newspaper for days saying you needed to come early.
V: (quietly) Don’t get the paper. Anyway, I thought we would have enough,
but I got sick and what with the Dr and the chemist, and missing days off the
fruit picking, we’re skint.
Ms Super: Sadly, we can’t help. Maybe you should try the welfare office.
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V: (Turning away, low voiced). Done that, they’re closed now too.
Gxxxx: Wait a moment! (runs and picks up basket of groceries).You can
have these - they are .... left over. Yes, that's right. Not really needed.
(turns back quickly to place)
V: Well thank you miss/master. Merry Christmas.
Ms SS: Ready to sing, Angels? (Piano starts "Angels from the Realms".
Angels join in out of time, out of tune, wrong words)
Ms SS: No, STOP. Let’s start that again
Shepherd. If that’s the noise the shepherds heard, no wonder they were
terrified. (laughs at own wit)
[Narrate shepherds going to Bethlehem and find the king Luke 2: 1520 SONG: WHILE SHEPHERDS WATCHED THEIR FLOCKS verses 1 & 6]
Ms SS: Now is our smallest shepherd ready?
[Smallest one shakes his head vigorously]
Ms SS: Now don’t be shy, in a nice loud voice into the microphone.
Smallest Shepherd: I WANT TO GO TOILET!!!
[Is sent off quickly] Ms SS: Make sure you remember to go early on the
day. Cxxxx, can you say the line?
Cxxxx: We have come to see the baby king.
[Enter a Down-and-out looking person]
Down-an-out: Um.. Excuse me Miss…
Ms SS: What NOW!
DAO: Um, sorry to bother you. There’s no one at the minister’s house. Is he
here?
Ms SS: No sorry. Think he's away doing visiting all day.
DAO: Oh… Look, thing is I left my wife a while ago, up in Nelson, but I've
done the wrong thing. Now she's rung to tell me that me son's got into a bit
of trouble and the cops are holding him in jail. I'm desperate to get home to
sort it out but I don't have the bus fare.
Ms SS: Oh, sorry to hear that. Look I'm pretty busy here. (rummages in
purse and pulls out $5). Take this towards your fare. You might find some
more help at other churches (Turns back)
DAO: Thank you. Don’t know where else to go though. (Turns to go)
K1 (running after him) Hey Mister. Look you can have these. [Holds up
the
money]
DAO (bends down to same level) Are you sure you can give me this? This
would buy my fare.
K1: It’s mine. But you need it more than I do. If I was in trouble, I’d sure
like to see my Dad.
DAO: (Puts money in bag) God bless you young man. I hope Santa Claus
gives you your heart’s desire because you have given me mine.
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Shepherd 1:Shouldn’t the shepherds be bringing Jesus a gift? It is his
birthday.
Joseph: He's God. What could a bunch of smelly shepherds give him?
Shepherd 2. Yeah, the kings brought the good gifts
Shepherd 3: Gold and stuff? Yeah, but if he's God then he MADE all the gold
anyway and could make more any time he liked.
Ms SS: How about we leave the theology discussion for Sunday School and
get on with the play?
Mary: But S, if the baby Jesus is God, did he dirty his nappies, cry and need
burping? Mary might have had it easy.
Ms SS: God became fully human in Jesus, so yes, he was completely
helpless, cried, needed burping and changing. But I thought we were getting
on with the play. - Right lets have the 3 kings on now - and we have the
camel too I see.
(Narrate arrival of the kings. Matthew 2:1-2 & 9b-12. SONG: WE
THREE KINGS verse 1 and chorus. They process up. Camel falls over
in heap).
Camel1 (throwing off costume): You tripped me!
Camel2: Did NOT! You try walking in the dark back here. Not to mention the
smell when you Ms SS: That’s ENOUGH. If you two can’t sort out the camel, then we simply
won’t have one!
K1: (Kneels before Jesus). I bring you gold
K2: I bring you Myrrh
K3: I bring you FrankinSTENCH!!
Ms S: If you don’t get the pronunciation right on the day –
(Woman with baby, real preferably, enter)
WWB: Excuse me but didn't you have a used-clothing bin here?
Ms SS: Sorry but street people kept sleeping in it and scaring the kids. You
can drop your rags off over in Mosgiel now though.
WWB: Oh. um, I wasn't dropping them off. I was just wanted to rummage
for something I could use for a cot blanket. My partner, er… ex-partner,
cleared off with just about everything.
Ms SS. You poor dear. Why don't you try Welfare - oh, they're closed, um,
well, there's the Sallies over in South Dunedin. Bit of a bus trip, I’m afraid,
but I'm kind of busy here.
(WWB turns to go)
Mary: (running up and taking off cloak). Here, this is spare. I'm sure it will
make a nice blanket.
WWB: Oh thank you. It would be just marvellous.
(Mary returns, stopping to put on old Mary costume).
Ms SS: Thank you Mxxxx, you children are being generous today. -Now
everyone together looking happy. Mary, why don’t you hold baby Jesus in
your lap?
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Mary: (reaches into manger, and then in horror). He’s not there! Jesus
isn’t in the manger!
[Enter Jesus, adult, white clothes]
Jesus: No, I am no longer in the cradle. I came to earth so that all who
believe in me might enter heaven. I now sit at the right hand of the Father,
but I am also with you still. You asked how you might give a gift to me? Well
I tell you that when you sat and talked with the blind, you sat and talked to
me. When you clothed the needy, you gave your cloak to me. When you fed
the hungry, you fed me. When you helped a father to visit his son in prison,
you did it to me.
[Exit Jesus. Reveals Mary now holding the baby Jesus]
Ms SS: We now wish you a happy and holy Christmas. May you do well as
you look for your own way to find a present for the baby Jesus
Sing ‘This Child’ led by music group
The End
Written by Philip Scadden
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