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Kayleigh Baker
10691
Moore
1/10/12
Dealing with Death
“It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited,
and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is
always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your
bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down,
through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way
you thought of things.” –Lemony Snickett
Everything that is born eventually has to come to an end. The concept of death is hard for
many to understand. The affect death has on the living is hard mentally and it is difficult for
many to accept. The grief from death is one of the hardest feelings to deal with. Professor Robert
Neimeyer, a professor of psychology at the University of Memphis said,
“When we’re confronted with emotional chaos, we yearn for clarity.”
Many cultures have their own rituals dealing with death. Some of these rituals are to appease
gods, honor the dead and to celebrate the life the person lived.
In most cultures have funerals to honor the dead and afterwards celebrate the lives of the
person by throwing a party. For example, in the American culture the dead are embalmed and
then dressed in formal attire and then their make up is done. All if this is done so the family and
friends can remember their final viewing of the loved one as the way they always looked. Before
the funeral there is a visitation. A visitation is where friends and family can go a pay respect to
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the family and to view the deceased. At the visitations family members and close friends give a
eulogy about the deceased. These eulogies range anywhere from funny to heart wrenching. At
the funeral a passage is read from the bible by a pastor. Attendees of the funeral wear black in
mourning of their loved one. After the passage is read and respects are paid the body is lowered
down into the ground or like in New Orleans, put in to beautifully detailed mausoleums. If after
the funeral, body is buried there is a headstone above the grave with the name of the deceased,
their years of life and sometimes and epitaph. There is also another ritual done in most cultures.
This ritual is cremation. When a body is cremated it is burned at high temperatures and then put
into an urn. Some people keep the urn in their houses to keep their loved one around or others,
typically by request of the deceased, are scattered about the earth. Some people have done
amazing things with cremated bodies. Some are scattered at the Grand Canyon, sent up in planes
and released into the sky or if you have the money for it, shot up in space on satellites to orbit
Earth indefinitely.
In India, the Hindu religion performs cremation ceremonies for the passing of the soul to
a different life. The dead are burned on a pyre by sacred rivers. The eldest son performs the last
rite at the ceremonies. The ritual of Sati, banned by Brittan in 1869, is where the widow would
through herself on her husband’s funeral pyre. After this ritual was banned the widows were out
casted and never to be married again. It is rare but in some rural areas Sati is still practiced and
widows are still out casted (“Our India”).
In Judaism there is a certain way to go about the funeral. First the family must contact the
Rabbi or local leader of a synagogue. It is wrong for the funeral took take longer than a day or
two. Funerals must happen as quickly as possible. The only acceptation is if there is a holiday or
if immediate family members cannot make it in time. Jewish funerals are very short. Before the
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funeral begins, immediate family members will tear their garments to symbolized the loss of the
family member. During the funeral a Rabbi will recite a blessing and the rest of the visitors will
recite a shorter blessing. In the ceremony that follows the funeral Psalms is recited along with a
eulogy and prayer. The mourners follow behind the casket when exiting the funeral and the
attendees remain standing until all of the family members have left. After the funeral the family
must sit in Shiva and traditional Jews cover all mirrors and sit on Shiva benches. Shiva is
typically seven days, but some Jews only go for three day and some only one day. It is
appropriate to bring food to Jews in Shiva (Klug).
In Native American culture, there are many different death rituals performed due to the
multitude of different tribes. But most Native American tribes feared the dead because they were
afraid the dead would come back and cause harm to the living. In the Navajo tribe the ritual takes
four days. An eagle feather is tied in the deceased’s hair. This is done because the Native
American’s believe that it provides the deceased with a safe trip home. On the fourth day of
mourning washes themselves down. This is done to wash away the memory of the deceased. The
name of the deceased is never spoken again for fear of bringing back the soul (Cacciatore).
However, in most Native American traditions they try to aid the dead by burying food and drink
with the body. In cases of a leader dying they would even bury fur. Native Americans did this
because they had great fears of the dead.
Like Native American culture, there are many different tribes in Africa. This causes there
to be several different types of rituals and mourning practices. But in a typical practice, the tribe
wants the soul from the deceased to become detached from the body so the soul will not come
back and bother the living. This process takes a long time and must be observed properly.
During the practice, an animal is sacrificed and personal belongings are buried with the body.
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Some families in the tribe will preform their own personal sacrifices to keep the dead away. At
the end of the funeral there is a prayer for a safe trip for the soul. In urban South Africa, if one
dies in a house, mirrors and photos are turned around, the bed from the deceased is removed
from the house, and ashes are spread on the windows. The mourning families have no interaction
with the outside world for up to a week. Many times children and unmarried adults are not aloud
to attend the funerals. In other parts of Africa, the mourning process can take up to three months.
There is limited contact with the outside world and at the end of the three months the family
sacrifices an animal and goes to the graveyard. At the graveyard they speak with ancestors. It is
believed that the soul is restless on top of the grave until it is brought home. So then dirt from on
top of the grave is put into a bottle and brought back to the home (Anderson).
Overall, the loss of a loved one is a very difficult thing to happen to someone. The way
the death is handled is very important in all cultures. It sets the minds at ease and gives the
chance to remember and respect the deceased. Death Rituals and mourning periods vary all
across the world. In most cultures there is a visitation for the deceased where loved ones get to
view the body and speak about deceased. Then after a visitation, a funeral follows. There are
even parties after the funerals to celebrate the life the loved one had. However in some cultures
intricate rituals must be obeyed for the soul to carry on into another life. Like in the African
culture, the soul isn’t believed to be at rest into it is back home. Or in the Native American
culture, the people feared the dead. So everything had to go correctly or the Native Americans
feared the soul would come back and haunt the tribe. In India, if the practice didn’t go correctly
the souls would not pass on. This not only messed with reincarnation but it affected the living.
With the banning of Sati, widows were shunned and never married again. The rituals for coping
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with the death of a loved one are ever changing a different everywhere. We all just need a way to
be at peace.
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Works Cited
Anderson, Allen. "African religions." Death Reference . N.p.. Web. 30 Oct 2012.
<http://www.deathreference.com/A-Bi/African-Religions.html
. "Death Rituals of India." Our India. N.p.. Web. 29 Oct 2012. <http://www.ourindia.org/factsabout-india/death-rituals-of-india.html>.
Cacciatore, Joanna. "Jewish Funeral Customs: Saying Goodbye toa Loved One." Appropriate
Bereavement Practice after the Death of a Native American Child . N.p., 12 2008. Web. 30 Oct
2012. <http://www.nationalshare.org/Cacciatore_Native_American_Child_Death_FIS.pdf>.
Hopfe, Lewis, and Mark Woodward. Religions of the World. 12th. Pearson, 40. Print.
Klug, Lisa. "Jewish Funeral Customs: Saying Goodbye toa Loved One." The Jewish
Federations. N.p.. Web. 29 Oct 2012. <http://www.jewishfederations.org/funeralcustoms.asp&xgt;.