DT Coleman 11/14/2011 1
Planning and Executing the Funeral
Tools you will need:
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CME Ritual
Bible
Hymnal
Note pad and pencil/pen
Sample funeral programs
Questions that need to be answered:
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Persons full name, date of birth and date of death
Is the person you are speaking with the one selected by the family as the spokesperson
What funeral home is being used; do you need the pastor’s presence at the funeral home
When would they like to have the service
Did the deceased have any final wishes they are aware of
Will there be a family hour or open visitation; where will this be
Did the decease have favorite scripture (s) and song (s)
Where will the person be interred (buried)
Will there be a repast; if so, how many people are part of the family
What type of service would they like; let CMEs should know that we have an order for
funerals; the Affirmation of Faith is to be included in the service; you may have to
provide copies on the program or as an insert
What other clergy would they like to be a part of the service; as the officiate, you need to
speak with these persons prior to the service
What kind of things did the person like to do; hobbies, special gifts, jobs skills
Get the names of siblings, children or special people that were part of the deceased life
What about music – who – what songs – ; verify ushers
When during the service will the remains be viewed
Things to do
 Help with the composing of the obituary
 Help outline the program; review final draft
 Suggest the reflections from family and friends be done at the family hour including
sorority and fraternity or Eastern Star and Masonic rituals; don’t be afraid to cut people
off; stay in control of the service
 Read over the opening sentences for the funeral as well as the graveside rites; enlarge
them if necessary
 Read over any scriptures that have to be read
 Have at least an outline of what you want to say during the eulogy or words of comfort;
this so we can personalize the message to some degree
DT Coleman 11/14/2011 2
Planning and Executing the Funeral
Remember to
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Eat before the service; you need the energy
Have fluids for after the service
Your car has gasoline
Show your face at the repast
Touch base with the funeral directors before the service so they know where your car is
and allow you in the procession
Pray with the family before going into the service
Attend the placing of the remains in the coach
Have a handkerchief
What to do if…
 They want to have the funeral at my church but do not want me to officiate? Ask them
who the person is and their connection with the family. If it is a family member that is an
ordained clergy just ask to speak with them about the nature of your church and how
things function such as lectern for preaching and presiding, office space and who to
contact such as a custodian for access.
 They ask how much do you charge for a funeral? As a CME preacher we do not charge
our members to conduct funerals. You may tell them that is no fixed charge but if they
would like to give a love offering you will accept. We now know that burial policies
include a fee for clergy. As about this and accept whatever the policy allows.
Additionally, if we have to travel long distances to the cemetery it is appropriate to be
compensated for gasoline.
 The family does not want the Affirmation of Faith? Explain the nature of the affirmation
and its purpose. It is a way of acknowledging the person’s faith that they declared
without shame.
 The family wants to do something that you feel is unorthodox? The family must
understand that a church is a sacred place and the funeral is a sacred ceremony. We are
here to honor the life of the deceased not give a show for people to talk about. Our love
should be summed up in how we lived with the person and what was important to them.
It may be a good idea to do some training with your congregation on planning funerals
so that they can have some final wishes which are appropriate for a sacred space.
DT Coleman 11/14/2011 3
Planning and Executing the Funeral
During the Service
o Welcome everyone on behalf of the family
o Acknowledge any other clergy and invite to pulpit. You do not need to offer everyone
the opportunity to speak.
o Lead the processional in and lead it out
o Be prepared to fill in for anyone who is late or absent when their time on the program
comes
o If a speaker or song seems to overwhelm the family end their time in a firm, cordial way.
o Wear your robe and stole. If you do not have a black one, white will do or no stole at all.
You do not have to wear your robe grave side unless you want to. Consider the weather
when outside
o Do you open the doors of the church? Not a CME tradition. You can certainly
emphasize the need to make a decision for the Lord because we each must come this way
and it is up to us where our eternity will be spent.
o If the person whose funeral is being conducted was not a Christian, focus on comforting
the family.
o Words of Comfort 5-7 minutes; Funeral Oration and Eulogy are the same thing