Overcoming phobia and depression one day at a time
By Yohanna Abdullah
At her lowest point, homemaker Sarah, 46 did not bathe for more than a week, ate just a little once a week and laid on the
floor, urinating and defecating on the spot with no energy nor will to move. This went on for half a year until she lost 20 kg
in that period.
That was in 2010 when she first had her brush with mental illness and was not open to treatment despite many tries by
family members to get her to a hospital. Once her family called the ambulance but she stubbornly refused to go despite
her glucose and protein levels being alarmingly low and she made the ambulance staff wait for her for one hour before
they finally gave up persuading her.
“I did not accept that I was sick, even now my acceptance is not 100 percent and I keep asking why I get this illness. But
since coming to Club Heal for a few months, even though it was not always regular, I am more accepting of my condition
and made much progress, for example my phobia to be in certain parts of my home, such as the living room has lessened.”
Sarah has been avoiding her living room like the plague but now can spend moments and even slept there one afternoon
recently after Club Heal encourages her gently to face her irrational fears. She has been spending whole days in the kitchen
before retiring into her bedroom only to sleep.
In 2011, Sarah was hospitalized after her family thought that she wanted to jump off her window after she requested that
they open it. It was a misunderstanding but she ended up warded in the psychiatric ward of the National University of
Singapore where she was diagnosed as having psychosis and was treated accordingly.
“At first I found the medications calming but later I found it too strong with many side effects so I stopped eating them and
stopped going for outpatient treatment and instead saw a counselor at Fei Yue Family Centre once a month until she
recommended me to attend Club Heal late last year.”
“I had been praying for a place where I can share my feelings and God granted my wish with Club Heal,” said Sarah.
Before that Sarah coped with her low moods by attending classes at the mosques and through prayers and meditation. Her
parents, siblings, children and husband were very supportive and helped to take care of her.
“I did not see my doctor though I saw my counselor and went to the mosques. That helped me get through my days even
with depression.”
Sarah is due to see a psychiatrist at Singapore General Hospital where she was recently warded for another medical
condition. After what she has learned at Club Heal, she is determined to address her issues head on and tackle what she
thinks is depression and phobias rather than psychosis.
“My experience at Club Heal has been rewarding, it is a place of healing with lots of love, care, therapy with lots of
volunteers. The atmosphere is very happy and merry with lots of laughter. I love yoga, art and writing classes especially.
There is so much to do and learn at Club Heal.”
Sarah believes she is on the road to recovery. “It will take some time before I recover, but I believe I will get better. I have
to give time to myself to accept what I have gone through all this while. One thing I have to learn is to forgive and forget
whatever unhappiness in my past.”
Commenting on Sarah’s development, Programme Coordinator, Basithah Zulkifli, 26, said, “She's one of our partners who
make changes slowly but steadily. One of the most noticeable changes I've noticed is that she smiles more these days and
engages more and have witty banters with her peers.
It's easy to tell that Sarah's trying her hardest to be better by taking one step at a time. She seems willing to take advice (and
graciously too) from her peers and even her family members in the name of betterment. She's had her moments of doubts but
she never fails to surprise me with the changes she works on individually.”