Brittany Sosa
Interpersonal Communication Improvement Proposal
Overview
Communication effectiveness in the work place is directly linked to your emotional intelligence.
This is a set of skills hypothesized to contribute to the accurate appraisal and expression of
emotion in oneself and in others, and the expression of effective regulation of emotion in oneself
and in others. EQ is the use of feelings to motivate, plan, and achieve in one's life. I will look
into my communication skills in the work place and make a plan to improve my skills where I
am lacking . I am aware of my emotions and I know that I need to improve on my assertiveness.
I will discuss why it is important to be assertive, how to say “no”, and how I plan to improve my
assertiveness in my work like.
Description of Problem
The real problem is finding the perfect balance of emotional intelligence in every aspect. I need
to work on the area of assertiveness specifically. I am a nice person and I will drop what I am
doing to help someone else. I work at Lowe’s and I oversee all of the Installations for my
location. This includes making sure the sales associates sells the jobs correctly. In an effort to
reduce expensive errors for the company I have the specialists ask me for help rather than
guessing and doing it wrong. Now instead of the associates thinking and doing it themselves,
they come to me and ask me to show them how to do their job over and over. I justify the
situation by saying I would rather have it done right then create more work for myself later. In
reality I am not assertive and I let them take advantage of me. It is one thing to teach them how
to do it correctly, but I need to work on making them do it on their own after showing them. A
quote for the opposite of assertiveness matches me exactly stating:” You give in all the time, but
then walk around resenting everyone for taking advantage of you.” (Gregory P. Korgeski) My
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lack of assertiveness also affects my attitude negatively. Being taken advantage of makes me
mad and makes me not want to help anyone at all.
Resources and constraints
The goal of assertive communication moves beyond just speaking up for yourself; you must also
get your point across in a way that the other person wants to hear. You need to respect not only
your own rights, but their feelings and unique perspectives as well (Heathfield). I need to
practice deep and focused listening when communicating with another associate. Focus my mind
and attention on asking questions to clarify and understand what the person is saying. Summarize
back to them what I think I heard them say to me. Ask them if my summary is a correct portrayal
of what they are trying to express. Ask questions to identify emotions and feelings. When I have
difficulty reading how the associate is reacting to a situation emotionally, I will ask, most
associates are willing to disclose an opinion when I show an interest. I need to practice noticing
body language or nonverbal communication. Mostly I need to be aware of my own reactions to
fellow associates during communication. Need to make sure that I react on two levels. I need to
react to the facts and to the underlying emotions, needs, and dreams that are expressed. I will
develop a sense of when I am being played. An associate with highly developed emotional
intelligence is already analyzing my r reactions and understands what I want to hear. I will
analyze how I respond in emotional situations. I will seek feedback from associates that I trust to
react with some degree of unbiased, unprejudiced response. I will look for additional feedback
from a boss or mentor who can describe your impact on others. I will keep the Three C’s (Clear,
Concise, and Conscientious) in mind while communicating. The key I think is best is to practice
the Platinum Rule: Speak to others in the way you wish to be spoken to. To be a truly effective
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assertive communicator, the goal is positive influence. It will be hard for me to remain positive
all the time, but I can’t control others I can only control how I react to situations.
Recommendations
There are times in all of our lives when it's important to set our boundaries appropriately, so
people know where we stand. The ability to be assertive and express difficult emotions when
necessary is linked to being able to say no or to just disagree. I will work on being more
observant to when an associate actually needs help and guide them through the process. I will no
longer just do it for them and have them watch. There is a 7 step process to saying “no”
respectfully that I intend to incorporate into my everyday communication at work.
Seven step process in saying “no” respectfully: STEP 1. Listen to the request respectfully. Do
not interrupt the speaker. STEP 2. Phrase your "no" as simply as possible. Don't raise your voice
or become upset, simply say that you cannot help this time. When you say no, say it in a
confident, well controlled voice to sound more straightforward. STEP 3. Transfer ownership of
your refusal to something else (schedule, preoccupied, don’t know how). This deflects any
resentment they might have towards your refusal. STEP 4. Remain non-confrontational. STEP
5. Don't feel obligated to explain. You have your reasons and they may not be ones you wish to
discuss. STEP 6. Stand firm. If the requester does not want to accept your answer, tell him or her
that your mind is made up and that you will not change it. STEP 7. Keep in mind that it's your
time they're are requesting for and you have the choice to accept or decline what they're asking
of you. If the associates confront me and want to know why I am not helping, then I am going to
use the XYZ technique (I feel X when you do Y in situation Z). I will stay true to myself in being
nice and willing to help and teach. However I will use my judgment and say “no” to the
associates that just want me to do their job for them.
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References
Gregoire, C. (2013, September 29). Huffington Post. Retrieved from Google's 'Jolly Good Fellow' On The
Power Of Emotional Intelligence: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/29/googles-jollygood-fellow_n_3975944.html
Gregory P. Korgeski, P. (n.d.). Become more Assertive. Retrieved October 11, 2013, from
http://www.idiotsguides.com/static/quickguides/selfhelp/become-more-assertive.html
Heathfield, S. M. (n.d.). About.com. Retrieved from How to Develop Your Emotional Intelligence:
http://humanresources.about.com/od/interpersonalcommunicatio1/qt/develop-youremotional-intelligence.htm
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