Xhosa Marriage
To fully describe the wedding that will take many pages. This is a summary of procedures to
an amaXhosa wedding.
Regarding the marriage of a young woman: when a young man wanted to take a wife, he went and
asked for the young woman at So-and-so's place. The family was told that it was fitting that this
young man gets a wife. No young man would ever say to a person older than him "I want a wife." It
was his father who would reach a certain point at which he would say, "I must get a wife for my child.
He's old enough now." That was the normal procedure.
You will not see the bridegroom as he has choose as he has choose his bride long ago, paid
her father twelve head of cattle as Lobola(dowry) ,which he borrowed from his own father.
He is probably at the Gold mines in Johannesburg working to earn money so that upon his
return he can the debt to his father in respect of the cattle which he borrowed. After this, he
will leave with his wife to start his own home.
His bride and her retinue have come from 20 miles away to the bridegroom’s father’s home,
where a hut has been prepared for them. It is here that the strange wedding takes place .Upon
its completion the retinues return to their own homes, while the new bride remains and works
here awaiting for the return of her husband
In the AmaXhosa culture ukwenda of a girl it is something that is very valued. When a girl
gets married in the Xhosa culture the whole village rejoices as marriage is seen as a blessing
that comes from God. One of the rituals is called utsiki. Utsiki is the ritual where umakoti has
to eat a goat meat and drinks the sour milk of that particular family in which she is married to.
The girls are taught the way to behave, and handle themselves in an appropriate manner in a
very young age, this is to prepare them to be respectful and have good manners in the in the
places or homes in which they will be married to also it helps them to be obtain some dignity
and become good examples of where they are coming from in the home of marriage. When a
girl gets married she receives a new name from the new family which is now her additional
family. The new name is emphasising that the girls is welcome in that particular home.
This is when a woman gets her gift from her family after a lobola has been paid.
Respect is the basic underlying principle of the Xhosa culture in particular for elders. Women
are the ones who need to inherent and show respects more. They are taught and prepared for
marriage from a young age so that by the time they come to represent their homes in another
home where they will be building their own families; they do not embarrass their maiden
home. A marriage in the Xhosa way is called ukwenda.
This is how a Xhosa newly wed dresses like. She is called umakoti. The clothes are a sign of
respect and are there to hide any part of her flesh so that she does not envoke any sexual
desires upon other men. A dowry is paid to her family so that she can be part of the new
family and build the family. she is then given a new name.
This man is of paramount importance in the Xhosa culture. He does the rituals and
consultations with the ancestors. It is important that he is respected.
Depending on ones pocket, some Xhosa weddings are more glamorous than others. This is an
example of such.
A Traditional Xhosa Wedding Ceremony in an Eastern Cape township