Fragments:
1. When her father’s business failed.
= not a complete thought
2. In 1911, began a national survey of occupational diseases.
= no subject
Run-on:
1. Alice Hamilton is a prominent figure in the history of medicine in the United
States, her efforts lead to safer workplace conditions for Americans.
= comma splice
Stringy Sentences:
1. Hamilton ran a clinic, and in the clinic she saw an increasing number of lead
poisoning cases, and she became concerned.
= 3 complete thoughts connected with two ands
2. In 1919, Hamilton became the first woman faculty member of Harvard University
and she was name professor of industrial medicine, and while she was at Harvard,
she worked with companies to correct workplace practices that were harmful to
employees.
= 3 complete thoughts connected with two ands
Combined sentences in two other places: I am listing 3 other places.
1. She was born in 1869 in New York City into a well-to-do family. She was
actually raised in Indiana.
= She was born in 1869 in New York City into a well-to-do family, but she was
actually raised in Indiana.
2. She became a professor of pathology, the study of diseases. She became a
professor of pathology in 1897.
= In 1897, she became a professor of pathology, the study of diseases.
3. In Chicago she worked at Hull House. Hull House was a famous settlement
house where immigrants and poor people received assistance.
= In Chicago she worked at Hull House, a famous settlement house where
immigrants and poor people received assistance.
See the next page for the revised paragraph.
Possible answer to “Writing Clear Sentences” pg. 40 in packet
Alice Hamilton is a prominent figure in the history of medicine in the United States. Her
efforts led to safer workplace conditions for Americans. She was born in 1869 in New York City into
a well-to-do family, but she was actually raised in Indiana. When her father’s business failed,
Hamilton realized she would have to earn her own living. She decided to study medicine. In 1897, she
became a professor of pathology, the study of diseases. In Chicago she worked at Hull House, a
famous settlement house where immigrants and poor people received assistance. Hamilton ran a
clinic, where she saw an increasing number of lead poisoning cases. She became concerned. Since
lead poisoning was a serious problem for many industrial workers, she began to investigate poisonous
substances used in American factories. She conducted a statewide survey of industrial poisons in
Illinois in 1908. In 1911, she began a national survey of occupational diseases. As a result, by the late
1930’s, all states had laws that required job-related safety measures. In 1919, Hamilton became the
first woman faculty member of Harvard University. She was named professor of industrial medicine.
While she was at Harvard, she worked with companies to correct workplace practices that were
harmful to employees.