HATS!
By John Jacobson & John Higgins
SONG: Let’s Party!
SCENE 1
Kid 1:
By now you must have guessed what our show is all about.
We might as well just tell you, so there isn’t any doubt.
All: (with enthusiasm) It’s about hats!!
Uncle Sam:
My hat should tell you who I am,
And who I am is Uncle Sam!
Kids 1:
There are many kinds of hats, of every shape and size.
And underneath each one of them is a very special prize!
All: Us!
Statue of Liberty:
Tired or poor or new in town,
You’ll know me by my regal crown!
I was built on Liberty Island and stand there still today.
I represent friendship, freedom, and the American way!
Uncle Sam:
My hat should tell you who I am
And who I am is Uncle Sam!
Statue of Liberty:
(looking with a sideways glance at Uncle Sam) Got it!
Kid 2 &3:
Miss Hatfield doesn’t have a hat! What’s the matter with you?
Miss Hatfield doesn’t have a hat! What is she to do?
1
Miss Hatfield:
Don’t worry about me; my hat is being made and it will be the best.
I’m going to have a hat that is better than all the rest!
Kid 4:
What kind of hat are you making, Miss Hatfield? What kind of hat will it be?
When will it be finished, so that we all can see?
Blackbeard the Pirate:
If yer settin’ out to sail across the sea
Get yourself a hat like mine and a pirate you will be! Arrgh!
Abraham Lincoln:
If the White House is the house you’re at,
Why not don a stovepipe hat?
Daniel Boone:
Let Daniel Boone be your guide on a trip to the Cumberland Gap,
It will be a great adventure to wear a coonskin cap!
Queen Elizabeth:
For the finest hat you’ve ever seen,
Just wear one fit for a Royal Queen!
Queen Elizabeth is my name
my royal crown is my claim to fame.
Miss Hatfield:
Thank you for your suggestions, but I have something else in mind.
Mine will be the finest hat that you will ever find!
Hatless Hank:
Wait a minute, everyone! I, too, don’t have a hat!
Kid 5:
Well, that’s no good.
We’ll have to do something smart about that.
2
Kid 6:
What kind of hat would you like, my friend?
You see, there are plenty to choose.
Pick the one that suits you best.
There’s no way you can lose.
Hatless Hank:
I just don’t know where to start.
They all look mighty fine.
Cook 1 & 2:
Why don’t you try something practical and get a hat like ours?
Hatless Hank:
Your hat is very nice, indeed! It has a very nice look.
Cook 1& 2:
It’s the perfect hat to wear, if you want to be a cook!
Policeman 1 & 2:
If you wear a hat like ours, you can make the traffic stop.
It’s lots and lots of fun to be a traffic cop.
Hatless Hank:
(thinking and almost in tears)
A cook? A policeman…Hmmm. What shall I be?
How will I ever find the perfect hat for me?
Kid 7 & 8:
To pick the hat to suit the job,
You’ve got to use your thinkamabob!
Hatless Hank:
My thinkamabob?
Kid 7 & 8:
Yes, now dry those tears.
Your thinkamabob is between your ears.
3
Miss Hatfield:
With all the hats to choose from, it’s so hard to decide.
Just follow my advice and find a hat to wear with pride.
SONG: The Perfect Hat for Me
SCENE 2
Kid 9 & 10:
Miss Hatfield, is a policeman’s hat the kind you are going to make?
Hatless Hank, is that the kind of hat you want?
Do you want to cook and bake?
Hatless Hank:
That was tasty but I can see
That a baker’s hat is not for me!
Miss Hatfield:
No, although each one of those hats looks mighty fine,
None can hold a candle to the brand new hat of mine.
Hatless Hank:
I would wear most any hat as a last resort,
But I think I’d rather have a hat from my very favorite sport.
Umpire:
Did somebody say sports? Batter up!!
SONG: Keep Your Head in the Game
SCENE 3
Hatless Hank:
Well, that was great, it’s clear to see
A baseball cap is right for me!
4
Kids 11 & 12:
But Miss Hatfield, you still have no hat!
Something’s terribly wrong with that!
She doesn’t have a hat, it’s true.
Does a baseball cap seem right for you?
Miss Hatfield:
No, a baseball cap is not for me.
You’ll all just have to wait and see.
Uncle Sam:
My hat should tell you who I am
And who I am is Uncle Sam!
All: WE KNOW!!
Uncle Sam:
Okay! So now that that is clear,
For the USA, let’s give a cheer!
My hat is all red, white, and blue.
America, I’m saying “I need you!”
SONG: Uncle Sam is Who I Am
SCENE 4
Kid 13:
Uncle Sam, I have to say
That’s the best hat I have seen today!
Your hat is nice as it can get,
But folks, “you ain’t seen nothin’ yet!!”
5
Kid 14 & 15:
Make a path! Come on, clear the mat!
Here comes Miss Hatfield with her brand new hat!
(There is a fanfare and in comes Miss Hatfield in her magnificent hat! It might
even need to be carried by a couple of folks. Everyone cheers.)
Kid 16:
Oh my goodness, look at that!
Where did you get that magnificent hat?
That’s the greatest hat by far.
Miss Hatfield, you’re the star!!
Miss Hatfield:
Thank you all for being so kind,
But now, I have something else on my mind.
All: What’s that? What is it, Miss Hatfield?
Miss Hatfield:
The truth is, I love my brand new hat,
But I’ve learned something new about this and that.
It’s not the hat that makes the kid,
But what lies underneath that lid!
Kid17:
We hear what you’re saying and we know it’s true.
A hat is a hat, but it’s not really you.
Your hat might be a great work of art,
But what counts is what’s in your head and your heart!
Kid 18:
Wear your hat with plenty of pride,
But remember what matters is what’s inside.
Remember to always do your part,
For under that hat is a head and a heart!
6
SONG: My Head, My Heart
SCENE 5
Kid19:
This has all been so much fun,
But now it’s time for us to run.
And now before we all depart,
We’d like to say with all our heart…
Kid 20:
Whenever your day feels a little flat,
You don’t know your this from your there or that,
You’re wondering where your mind is at,
Or maybe you’ve had a bit of a spat,
Kid 21:
You lost your dog, you can’t find your cat,
Your whole afternoon just went kersplatt,
Hatless Hank:
Don’t get down. Forget about that.
Miss Hatfield:
Go get yourself…
All: A brand new hat!!
REPRISE: Let’s Party!
7
HATS!
Cast of Characters
Miss Hatfield: Genevieve
Hatless Hank: Whit
Uncle Sam: Ben
Statue of Liberty: Ben
Blackbeard the Pirate: Conor
Abraham Lincoln: Parker
Daniel Boone: Grey
Queen Elizabeth: Audrey
Cook 1 & 2: Mariclaire and Molly
Policeman 1 & 2: Arshaq and Diego
Umpire: Conley
8
Kid 1: Sophie
Kid 2: Evan
Kid 3: Abby
Kid 4: Grace
Kid 5: Hayden
Kid 6: Katie
Kid 7: Salah
Kid 8: Manu
Kid 9: Alexa
Kid 10: Mary
Kid 11: JC
Kid 12: Bodie
Kid 13: Katherine
Kid 14: Marius
Kid 15: Beck
Kid 16: Carol
Kid 17: Hannah
Kid 18: Kate
Kid 19: Jasmine
Kid 20: Lainey
Kid 21: Jack
9