Constructing paragraphs
Read the following paragraph:
Sunday is my favourite day of the week. I like it because on Sunday, I
watch football. On other days, I also get to watch football but not all
day. There are other sports on other days to watch on TV. Sunday
lunch is a favourite of mine because I eat with my father in front of
the TV. All the other days, I have to eat at the table which is less fun.
Some days my dad doesn’t make it home from work until after I’m in
bed. Some weeks my dad travels, and I don’t see him for several
days. The highlight of the day is when we watch the Dolphins play.
Dad and I get so excited, we yell and cheer together. The thing that I
like to do best in the world is watch TV with my dad.
What is good about it?
What is not so good?
Revised paragraph
Sunday is my favourite day because I spend the day watching
football with my dad. On Sunday, unlike the other days of the week
when he works, my dad spends the whole day with me watching
football on TV. We even eat lunch together while watching. The
highlight of the day is watching the Dolphins game. Dad and I get so
excited, we yell and cheer together. On Sundays, I get to combine
watching my favourite sport and spending time with my favourite
person—what a great day!
How is the revised paragraph better?
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There are four elements to a well-structured paragraph:
1. Topic Sentence (or Point) - the first sentence in a paragraph.
This is the controlling idea that you build your paragraph on.
2. Supporting Details (evidence and explanation) – come after
the topic sentence, making up the body of a paragraph. Gives
facts, examples and details to develop and support the main
idea of the paragraph.
3. Order and coherence – the way you order your supporting
sentences. Appropriate connectives and consistent verb tense
are important here.
4. Closing Sentence - last sentence in a paragraph. Summarises
and reinforces the main idea of your paragraph and sometimes
hints at the next idea you went to develop.
This structure is not only used when for essay writing but for
description creative writing as well.
Using four colours, identify the topic sentence, supporting details,
connective and closing sequence in the following passage:
There are three reasons why Canada is one of the best countries in
the world. First, Canada has an excellent health care system. All
Canadians have access to medical services at a reasonable price.
Second, Canada has a high standard of education. Students are
taught by well-trained teachers and are encouraged to continue
studying at university. Finally, Canada's cities are clean and
efficiently managed. Canadian cities have many parks and lots of
space for people to live. As a result, Canada is a desirable place to
live.
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Cohesion within paragraphs
A paragraph can also be thought of as a path through the woods. For
the reader to follow the path, trail markers are needed to point out
the way. These trail markers, which we call linkage, are words that
briefly and simply tell the reader about what has just been said, or
what is going to be said next.
Which trail would you rather be following?
Links within paragraph can be managed in a variety of ways:
1. Summative references / avoiding ‘this…’
A summative reference may refer back to earlier sentences, or refer
forward to an idea which is about to be presented.
Examples:



This hypothesis can be tested by.... Compare: This can be
tested by....
All of these beautiful places can be experienced at… ....
Compare: This can be experienced at…
This conclusion was confirmed by.... Compare: This was
confirmed by...
The use of a vague reference to "this" confuses the reader, but when
the author specifies what "this" is with words like those shown
above, the reference is not only clear, it makes the whole paragraph
clearer.
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2. Repetition of a word or phrase
Repetition is used to maintain a thread of meaning throughout a
paragraph. Underline the references to war from Abraham Lincoln's
Gettysburg Address:
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation
or any nation so conceived and so dedicated can long endure. We are
met on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a
portion of that field as a final resting-place for those who here gave
their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and
proper that we should do this.
How is the repetition in this paragraph effective?
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Repetitions are often used to create parallel constructions. In the
following example from another section of the Gettysburg Address,
underline repetitions and parallel constructions.
Clues - look for words about:
Memory
Dedication
Refs to place
‘that’ clauses
Devotion
The world will little note nor long remember what we say
here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for
us the living rather to be dedicated here to the unfinished
work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly
advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the
great task remaining before us -- that from these honored
dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which
they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here
highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain,
that this nation under God shall have a new birth of
freedom, and that government of the people, by the people,
for the people shall not perish from the earth.
How do the repetitions and parallel constructions help
develop the ideas in this paragraph?
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3. Subject variation
Create linkage by varying your use of proper nouns, synonyms and
hypernyms / hyponyms. The context of your writing will help you
here.
Proper Nouns: How many different ways can you refer to a
fundraiser called John Jones?
John Jones
How many different ways can you refer to teenagers that love
football? Use a range of references - positive, negative, to age, to
football
teenagers
Synonyms: How many synonyms can you think of to describe the
following?
war
money
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path
Hyponyms create linkage by moving from the general (hypernym) to
the specific (hyponym). Develop hyponyms for the following
hypernyms:
plant
mammal
structure
4. Use of contrast
Create link through moving in a totally different direction; use of
opposites/antithesis
5. Text connectives
Connectives can help readers find their way through a paragraph,
like the blaze on a trail. All authors use simple connectives such as
"and" or "so" in their writing. Consider using more informative
linkages where a "trail marker" is needed:
Simple or non-specific linkages: and, but, nor, for, yet, or, so
Complex linkages: however, moreover, therefore, nonetheless, in
contrast
See the writing frames in constructing paragraphs for appropriate
connectives to link in different types of writing.
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Paragraphing whole texts effectively
Identify the paragraphing problems with the following pieces of
writing:
Example 1:
Teenagers today have an easy life
I disagree with this statement because I think teenagers have a bit
more of a harder life then some people think. Here are some
examples of why I think this.
Some teenagers get peer presher, exames and tests.
Sometimes during test they panak and then they worry that they
wont do well.
Some teenagers get annoyed with parents or other adults and the
adults claim that teenagers are rude, selfish, answer back,
ungreatfull, lazzy and messy
Paragraphing problems:
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Example 2:
I am writing to tell you that placing elderly people in care homes is
wrong. It is believed by most people think that it’s the familys
responsiblity to care for the elderly. Reasons why this is thought is
that theyounger generation owes it to the older generation, as they
cared for them whilst they were growing up. Surly most people would
want to care for their elderly family members.
An argument against my point of view could be that the younger
generation don’t have the time, space or money for their elderly
family members. Surley you disagree! Sometimes paying for the care
homes works out much more expensive and if you care about your
elderly enough you’ll make time and space. Also most elderly people
don’t wish to be cared by strangers or live away from home. Placing
elderly in care homes can make the end of a persons life unhappy,
and alone. Stand up against care homes and make sure elderly
people get the respect, love and care deserved. Familys should stand
together and support each other when support is needed. How do
you think elderly feel when left alone in care homes away from loved
ones? Support the older generation in the same way you wish to be
treated by your younger generation. Caring for the older generation
is famiys responsibility.
Paragraphing problems:
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Pick one of these examples and restructure it into an effective five
paragraph argument. Include notes on how you will develop each
paragraph and any connectives you will use.
Example
1
2
3
4
5
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Writing Transitions
Good transitions can connect paragraphs and turn disconnected
writing into a unified whole. Instead of treating paragraphs as
separate ideas, transitions can help readers understand how
paragraphs work together, reference one another, and build to a
larger point. The key to producing good transitions is highlighting
connections between paragraphs. By referencing in one paragraph
the relevant material from previous paragraphs, writers can develop
important points for their readers.
Some techniques:
 Continue one paragraph where another leaves off.
 Picking up key phrases from the previous paragraph and
highlighting them in the next can create an obvious progression
for readers.
 Use appropriate connectives.
Example 1:
Overall, Management Systems International has logged increased
sales in every sector, leading to a significant rise in third-quarter
profits.
Another important thing to note is that the corporation had
expanded its international influence.
Using key phrases
from previous
para
Revision: Overall, Management Systems International has logged
increased sales in every sector, leading to a significant rise in thirdquarter profits.
These impressive profits are largely due to the corporation's
expanded international influence.
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Revise the following examples creating good transitions between
paragraphs:
Example 2 : Fearing for the loss of Danish lands, Christian IV signed
the Treaty of Lubeck, effectively ending the Danish phase of the 30
Years War.
But then something else significant happened. The Swedish
intervention began.
Revision:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Example 3: Amy Tan became a famous author after her novel, The
Joy Luck Club, skyrocketed up the bestseller list.
There are other things to note about Tan as well. Amy Tan also
participates in the satirical garage band the Rock Bottom Remainders
with Stephen King and Dave Barry.
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Read the following piece on caring for the elderly.
Note that:
 paragraphs are undeveloped – single sentence paragraphs
 Connectives order ideas but do not link them
 Subjcets are not varied (older / younger generation)
Definitly without a doubt the younger generation should keep their
older relatives in good care at home, than rather put them in a home
whre they know noone and maybe uncomfortable.
The reasons the younger generation should offer them to stay at
their house is because they looked after their children 24/7 since
they were babies to old teenagers so the younger generation should
pay them back by letting them live at their house.
Another reason why the younger generation should let the old
generation stay at their house is that the older generation become
physically frale and need help from younger more stronger people to
do things.
Thirdly, because people get older and they cannot always make the
right decisions for themselves so they need younger people to make
the wisest
decision.
Also the older generation may not have a lot of family left, so they
would appreciate it if the young generation spent time with them
and kept them
company.
Finally the younger generation should set an example of helping the
older generations then people may follow and help their older
generation.
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So surely the younger generation need to help and look after their
older generation and take care for them to make sure they don’t feel
uncomfortable and alone.
Pick three paragraphs to develop and link in a logical / progressive
way.
Decide what linking strategies you will use between paragraphs
and within paragraphs.
Topic
1
Link to previous
para
Ideas to develop
Links within para
Link to next para
N/A
2
3
N/A
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