Study Guide:
Introduction: Breakthrough Listening
1. Business is a network of conversations, conversations more numerous and more diverse
than ever before.
2. Increased communication means increased opportunity.
3. It can also mean an increase in communication breakdowns that result in lost
opportunity, misunderstandings, broken promises, and costly mistakes.
4. We naturally think the solution for failed communications is speaking more clearly, when
in fact, the solution is often in the listening.
5. Speaking is not enough to guarantee effective communication.
6. Saying does not guarantee listening.
7. Listening is separate, and belongs to the listener.
8. Each of us has a habitual way of listening, a way of fitting what we hear into the world
as we know it.
9. We are captives of our way of listening, hearing only a limited set of possibilities.
10. We seem unaware that others experience the world differently and hear different
possibilities.
11. Breakthrough listening challenges us to break out of our habitual listening to hear more
possibilities and increase our opportunities for action.
BREAKTHROUGH LISTENING: Notes for completion are taken from the sections of the video
that are featured in black and white.
12. The speaker says what he says.
13. The listeners hears what they hear, understanding only the interpretations shaped by
their individual concerns.
14. The way we listen is not something we consciously choose. It's an automatic response.
15. It results from our culture, gender, age, position, and personal history.
16. Each of us has a different personal history, and we listen from that experience.
17. There are times when winning seems a lot more important than listening, when factors
such as age, gender, job experience, and power shut down our willingness to listen.
18. While it is true that some people are powerful because they are effective listeners, often
those in charge believe their way of listening is the right way.
19. When we view ourselves as powerless, we accept that what we say may not be seriously
considered.
20. Our assumptions about power, who has it and who doesn't, frequently prevent us from
speaking and listening openly.
21. Changes in mood change our listening.
22. When we are frightened or worried, we listen to the ? of anxious internal conversations.
23. Something we hear as interesting or challenging in a good mood may sound
overwhelming when we're not feeling so strong.
24. Different feelings define a different set of possibilities.
25. Sometimes in conversation, we notice when change in mood affects someone's listening.
26. When it happens, it makes sense to save our planned conversation for another time and
discuss what's important to them.
27. The right conversation in the wrong mood is the wrong conversation.
28. Every breakdown in communication is an opportunity to examine the way we listen in
conversation.
29. Conversation is the interplay of speaking and listening.
30. In the back and forth between them, one is not active and the other passive.
31. To improve our listening, we have to acknowledge that our concerns and our
understanding of the world not only shape our listening but they limit what we hear.
32. To break through, we need to observe the way we listen (in other words, listen to our
own listening).
33. There are many different ways to listen in any given situation.
34. In a conflict we can dispute who is right and remain attached to our habitual way of
listening, or we can ask ourselves what it will take to enlarge our listening.
35. What are the interpretations in which we consistently find ourselves?
36. How do we break out of these fixed interpretations to work more successfully with
others?
37. If we are to truly understand those around us, if we are to take advantage of the
possibilities available to us, we need to break through our traditional patterns of
listening.
38. As we consider the concerns of others, as we expand our own experience and
interpretations, limitations of our past give way to more possibilities than we ever
imagined.
39. Clear speaking is not enough to guarantee clear communication.
40. Listening is always interpretive.
41. Cultures define our way of listening. Within our culture our personal history defines our
particular way of listening.
42. Our perceptions about power can limit our listening.
43. Changes in mood will change our listening. Changes in listening will change our mood.
44. We need to listen beyond the words to the underlying concerns of the speaker.
45. Once we become aware of ourselves as listeners, we can expand our listening to include
more possibilities.