Interpersonal and Intrapersonal Effects of Homeschooling vs. Public Schooling
Allyson Allwine
Spring 2014
“No one’s telling you when to do, it’s all you,” claims The Bitter Homeschooler (2009).
Who is to decide whether this is considered a good or bad thing? When looking into public
schooling versus homeschooling the debate on whether it affects in the communication world is a
serious tossup. The countless situations lead to numerous outcomes when looking how it affects
a person interpersonally and intrapersonally. Viewing various aspects of the different pros and
cons of each schooling approach, it clearly defines how each of the schooling systems transforms
the student and the people around them.
When looking into what it means to be socialized there are various definitions that can
describe what the true meaning of the word is. According to Mary Ellen (2012), “Being
socialized means understanding how to behave appropriately in different situations and knowing
how to interact with a wide variety of people.” Seeing how socialization is affected throughout
the schooling areas, it becomes a tossup when debating on whether a child is better off to begin
their schooling journey in a public or homeschooling environment.
One of the first areas that public schooling benefits more than home schooling, is the
ability to socialize and interact with other kids their own age, as well as adults . In the public
school area the opportunity for kids to interact with peers of the same age is very vast.
Interactions with other students are at a constant throughout the public schooling day. From
group projects, recess and much more public schooling serves as a perfect outlet for socialization
with others. In public schooling kids learn the different personalities of the other students, which
helps them decide the type of friends they wish to associate themselves with. Home Schooling vs
Public Schooling (2014) stated that, “Homeschooling does not completely eliminate a student’s
chance to socialize with other children their age, but significantly reduces the amount of time
spent interacting with others.” Communicating with others is a huge skill that public schools
excel in developing. The people that a homeschooled student has to interact with, for learning,
are the same people whom they are already familiar with. In most cases it is mom, dad, and/or
siblings teaching the student. The fault in situations, such as this one, would be that they are not
getting the development of introduction to new people. Homeschooling vs Public Schooling
(2014) commented about the lack of socialization in homeschooling by saying, “This requires
homeschooling parents to find social activities to ensure that their child receives enough social
interaction to properly develop their social skills. While this is by no means an entirely negative
aspect to homeschooling, it does require parents to research, register, pay for and attend
additional activities solely for the purpose of socialization.” By talking about this they put in the
minds of homeschooling parents that it is a wonderful task that they take on, homeschooling their
kids, although it comes with additional work, other than teaching. Where homeschooling must
put into the lesson plans activities to work on interaction with others, it comes at no additional
thought to put into the lesson plans with public schooling because of the automatic interaction
the students’ engage themselves in.
Viewing socialization with adults and a person with authority is yet another asset that
public schooling has over a homeschooled student. In a public setting learning the role of the
teacher and developing respect for those who are elder is something that you will learn
throughout public schooling. Learning how to respect parents can be similar to respecting a
teacher, but in many ways they differ. The role that a parent must take on when transforming
form instructor to parent may feel different, although the child may not see much of a difference.
The child may feel as though anyone who is older will react just as their parent has or will be just
like their parent. Learning the different and separate stand points is important to differentiate in a
young kid’s life. According to Tammy Takahashi (2009), “Homeschooling parents have to be the
change they want to see in the world, because they are no longer in a system where it requires
other people to change in order for things to get better.” By this Tammy is stating that because
the public schooling is not there for others to influence their kids, they must always be on the key
behavior at all times to ensure that they have a one and only role model. Therefore, being a
parent can be challenging, although when adding the role of an instructor to the mix it can affect
how a child views them.
Another angle when addressing the amount of socialization a homeschooled child has,
lies a large amount on how well the parent does when introducing socialization to them. In many
cases homeschooling can have a bit of an isolation feel to it, but it really depends on the amount
out outsiders that homeschooled child is exposed to. In some cases children can have awful
social skills when it comes to outsiders, if that child was not exposed to a lot outside life
throughout their homeschooling experience. Many times people can make the common mistake
by assuming that a homeschooled child is anti-social, although sometimes that assumption can
prove to be correct. “Surely there are homeschooled kids out there who do not develop good
social skills because their parents keep them isolated and do not provide proper situations and
interactions for them,” states Mary Ellen (2012). Mary Ellen makes a wonderful point by saying
that because there are parents out there who do forget that socialization is just as important as the
education process. Viewing the other parents, who do involve their children with outside
activities and outsiders, their children can have just as much as an experience as a child that
attends public school. Mary Ellen (2012) also adds in the comment, “As a homeschooling parent,
you have the power to put your children on the path to success in life, which includes good social
skills. Instead of throwing them into a classroom in which their only opportunity to learn
socialization is from one adult and thirty other kids, you can take them out into the real world.”
By this she is making it possible for outsiders to see that an anti-social homeschooled child is
only an option. Another researcher, Bridget Sizer (2003-2014), interviewed teachers who saw the
transformation from homeschooling to public schooling and got a comment that, “Parents need
to have a home school structure and curriculum solidly within their grasp before starting to home
school. An unstructured, undisciplined approach will academically hurt their children, regardless
of the nobility of one’s motives in home schooling.” Parents need to recognize the
responsibilities that they obtain when dealing with their child’s educational replacement. All in
all, depending on the influence the parent allows their child to experience is the true test to how a
child will develop and how the parents handle themselves as well.
When thinking about the many pros and cons of homeschooling and public schooling the
social lives affected in these environments are not only the children, but the parents’ social lives
are affected as well. The different types of parents who homeschool are what makes or breaks
the drive of interest with their children. Many parents reserve themselves to one track mind when
they commit to homeschooling and this can affect them as well. According to a research article
there are five types of homeschool parents. One area that homeschooling parents focus on is
religion. Religion is important, although when it begins to take over a majority of the education
taught in the home, it does not leave much room for other subjects. Five homeschool parent
types (2012) comments that, “The parents are fervently religious and homeschool centers around
imbuing the kids with this feeling.” This type of parenting is not so much affecting the parent’s
world, but the kid’s world. Deciding upon your own religion is important and having a common
interest as the families is a norm, although when it is all the parent preaches on it is not only
persuasion, but also it is reducing other education. According to the article another type of parent
is the academic type of parent. “The parents are fanatical about their kids getting into a good
college and being respected for their academic achievements. These parents are usually
convinced their kids are smarter than average,” comments Five homeschool parent types (2012).
This type of parenting is great for the child’s self-esteem, having a person who shows so much
passion towards them. On the other hand this parenting type can be harmful to the parent’s social
life with putting so much time into only focusing on homeschooling. The third type of parenting
that this article mentions is a dilettante parent who is not so much on a time frame. This is great
to the parent, so that they have time for anything they feel they need to put into the day and stress
is not an option with no time frame. When looking out for the child’s perspective, not being
familiar with a time frame or schedule is important, but can later down the road cause issues
when a deadline is essential. An activist parent is another parenting style that this article
mentions reguarding, “The parents have made the focal point of their adult lives being running
counterculture to almost everything. It feels natural to do this with raising their kids as well. This
family has structure or does not have structure — either way the important thing is to them is that
they are not adhering to other peoples' rules,” Five homeschool parent types (2012). Not having
a set of rules can be comforting within a household and can make it easier for parents, but can
make it difficult for children when rules do need to be followed. Not having rules can affect the
child ability to follow directions and get anything accomplished. Lastly, The Five homeschool
parent types (2012) talking about the blue ribbon parent which is, “These parents focus on
expertise. Usually the mom is an expert in something—a remarkably high achiever in something
and cannot imagine her kids not wanting the same thing for themselves.” This type of parenting
would be wonderful for any homeschool parent or public school teacher, although it is a high
standard to live up to. Being supported in every way and the need to feel important is essential
throughout any schooling experience and important when looking into how they will manage
conflict,
Besides the indifferences with the lack of socialization, another area that is a main focus
with the different schooling techniques would be how to manage conflict. In homeschooling
settings the most a parent can do is preach about the pros and cons of different conflicts. Staging
different conflicts throughout the homeschooling lesson plans is no match for the real life
conflicts a child would face when participating in the public schooling area. Instances such a
peer pressure and indifferences with other students has a much bigger impact in person versus
learning about them. In the public school scene students’ can come into peer pressure situations,
where they are to use their knowledge they used from home, to act though the situation. Carrie
Ross (2014) asks the perfect questions of, “How can a child learn to deal with conflicts, such as
peer pressure or challenges to their beliefs, in an environment other than a traditional school
setting?” This is a perfect question to ask the homeschooling parents when really thinking about
what their child would do if they were to be approached with these situations. Looking back into
the amount of exposure a parent allows their child to have is again the answer to another
question. If the amount of exposure is low, then coming into contact with conflict will be a huge
issues that that child will not know how to deal with. The more exposure a child has to the world
outside their homes, the better opt they will handle sticky situations. Carrie Ross (2014) finishes
off her article by stating, “Whether your children attend school in a traditional, home, or other
environment, you (parents) are instrumental in providing them with opportunities for healthy
social interaction.” By stating this she leaves the idea again in the minds of the homeschooling
parents that exposure is key.
Former researcher Bridget Sizer (2003-2014) studied kids who made the transition from
homeschooling to public schooling and found highs school teacher Kenneth Bernstein to witness
that, “The fact that some students who come from a homeschool setting have not been exposed
to “diverse points of view,” and thus aren’t used to being in settings where their patterns of
thinking get challenged by students or teachers whose ideas are very different.” This is important
because while in the comfort of a home the parents may disagree with the students here and
there, although when dealing with other people it is something uncommon to these
homeschoolers’. Being challenged is a huge part of making it in this world and knowing how to
handle certain challenges. Public schooling helps set those stages of challenges through the many
years in their schooling lives and it all begins within a classroom.
Another area that public schools have an advantage of homeschooling is the atmosphere
of the classrooms. While the peaceful and calm environment is great to have when trying to
focus on certain things, other come to argue that the craziness of the public school classroom are
essential for development. Public School vs Home School (2012) makes the point that,
“Supporters of public schools believe that the disarray of the classrooms is actually helpful to
children in succeeding in the future. Because reality is, the real world is not as calm and peaceful
as we would like it to be.” This statement makes a great point when thinking about how the
outside world is never calm and peaceful. If the child is not exposed to a crazy atmosphere when
they are young, then learning to deal with the noisiness of reality can be crucial. The different
mini supporters that the classroom provides, the other students, will be a great help when
transforming into real world situations.
In addition to the classroom environments homeschooled children obtain much more
attention from their instructors than students do in a public school setting. Where because there
are much more children that need to be attended to, the amount of attention passed around from a
teacher needs to be evenly divided throughout the classroom. Looking at the attention given out
in homeschooling, because of the fewer amount of students, the percentage of attention given to
the kids it much larger. Although it is wonderful that the children are getting a great amount of
attention, this can also serve as a disadvantage. Children who are attended to and responded to
every time that they seek attention can often expect that to happen everywhere they go. Further
down the road when seeking attention they will soon come to realize that not every time attention
is needed it will be handed out and this can serve as a problem. Although giving children
attention is essential, but learning by trial and error is much more effective when someday
needing to deal with real world situations. Expecting everyone to react as their parents have in
the past is something that can be very challenging when dealing with others who have not had
that experience.
On the more positive side of how homeschooling has a better affect on a child would be
when developing self-esteem and self-concept. In the public school area dress codes and
uniforms have a big impact on developing who a child will become as a person. When a uniform
is not essential choosing what to wear will have an impact of how the child will see themselves
and how others will see them. Trying to express themselves, through decorum, can be positive or
negative. The positive can attract other kids who share the same interests. The negative aspect of
expressing themselves can lead to bullies, which then leads to insecurities. On the other hand
when looking at homeschooling the ability to express themselves is unlimited. In the security of
your own household a child can define themselves however they wish, without any outside help.
Public Schooling vs Homeschooling (2012) comments on this matter by stating that, “This gives
the child a chance to focus more on studying. They do not have to worry about what to wear to
school the next day; they are protected from having to fit in with the popular crowd who gives
much attention to less important things such as buying the right clothes at the right store, wearing
the right shoes or playing the right video game. With homeschool, children can enjoy a peaceful
and calm atmosphere. Not only that, they also get to work in their own pace and in their own
style.” This statement provides a positive look for homeschooling when looking into the selfdevelopment process.
The schooling experience is something that should be valued not matter what approach is
taken. Homeschooling and public schooling can be viewing in a numerous amount of way when
looking into how a person develops into the real world. There really is not a solid answer is to
what schooling system is “the best” for a child, but learning how to communicate efficiently
interpersonally and intrapersonally is what is key. To be able to define oneself and well as others
in a respectful manner is the true lesson that is to be learned through the educational world.
References
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Takahashi, Tammy. (2009, July 2). Real Cons of Homeschooling. Examiner.com Retrieved from
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