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Kate Kromer
Ms. Woods
English 111
5 December 2010
Writer’s Memo
I chose to revise my rhetorical essay to earn back some points. The first step
of my revision process was to read through Ms. Wood’s comments on my paper and
correct any grammatical and spelling errors, which was the least complicated part.
Next, I read my paper out loud and changed any words that weren’t in passive tone.
It was easier to notice when I read the paper out loud and also helped me catch any
simple words that I could change in order to help improve the diction of my paper.
The hardest part of my revision process was to incorporate my quotes into my
writing. I tried to tie my quotes into either the sentence before the quote or after
the quote so that my paper was more fluid. Overall, I think I made all the changes
necessary to make a stronger paper.
Kromer 2
Kate Kromer
Ms. Woods
English 111
27 September 2010
Women’s Rights
Hillary Rodham Clinton delivered a speech to the U.N. 4th World Conference
during a Women Plenary Session on September 5, 1995 located in Beijing, China.
Clinton spoke about how women around the world were not treated equally, how
women rights should have be equal to human rights, and the ghastly abuse and
discrimination women faced around the world. The reason for the conference was
to strengthen women, families, and societies in order to empower women to taking
control of their lives and not be subject to such discrimination. She emphasized how
education, health care, jobs, and political rights were not equal between genders and
that the world needed to change. Clinton gave a very convincing speech because of
her use of rhetorical techniques. The use of pathos, ethos, logos, and anaphora
created a powerful, persuasive argument against the way women were treated
around the world.
Pathos was used to engage the audience’s emotions and hook the reader in to
the subject that was being spoken about. Pathos, the most frequent rhetorical
technique Clinton used in her speech, was utilized by talking about the shocking
situations females were forced into around the world. In other countries women,
young girls, and even babies were subject to abuse and discrimination. Clinton
explained the dreadful situations which females were forced into around the world:
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It is a violation of human rights when babies are denied food, or drowned, or
suffocated, or their spines broken, simply because they are born girls. It is a
violation of human rights when women are denied the right to plan their own
families, and that includes being forced into having abortions or being
sterilized against their own will.
The words drowned, suffocated, and broken were used to appeal to the listener’s
emotion. Clinton’s use of pathos instilled sympathy into the brains and hearts of the
audience. This key rhetorical technique encouraged the audience to become active
in the strive for equal rights for women everywhere.
Ethos was also used in Clinton’s speech by giving facts and percentages in
order to create a mental image for the audience. Studies have shown that “women
comprise more than half of the world’s population, seventy percent of the world’s
poor, and two-thirds of those who are not taught to read and write” (Clinton). These
percentages revealed to the audience how colossal the problem women’s rights
were in other countries. Clinton combined both pathos and ethos by stating, “It is a
violation of human rights when a leading cause of death worldwide among women
ages fourteen to forty-four is the violence they are subjected to in their own homes
by their own relatives.” By giving authentic facts, she persuaded the listeners and
made the speech plausible. It is key to use ethos to present a convincing speech
because the audience is more likely to believe and agree with the information
stated.
While pathos and ethos were used to hook the audience and give assuring
facts, logos are used in speeches to be persuasive, speak reasonably, and show that
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the speaker is well educated on the information of which they are speaking about.
Clinton related all women at the convention when she said, “We come together in
fields and factories, in village markets and supermarkets, in living rooms and board
rooms. Whether it is while playing with out children in the part, or washing clothes
in a river, or taking a break at the office water cooler, we come together and talk
about our aspirations and concern.” This also connected all women as a whole
together. Clinton explained to the audience how consequential a female’s role in the
world was, and still is today, by saying, “We are learning around the world that if
women are healthy and educated, their families will flourish. If women are free
from violence, their families will flourish. If women have a chance to work and earn
as full and equal partners in society, their families will flourish. And when families
flourish, communities and nations do as well.“ This part of her speech not only
connected all the females, but also the males at the convention. It connected all
people as one, and showed that everyone was a valuable part of society, which “is
why every woman, every man, every child, every family, and every nation on this
planet does have a stake in the discussion that takes place here” (Clinton).
Although rhetoric appeals of value were a prosperous way to engage the
audience, when they are combined with other rhetoric techniques it creates the
most successful speeches. Another common rhetorical technique Clinton used in
her speech was anaphora. During her speech Clinton repeated, “It is a violation of
human rights” seven times while listing off situations around the world that women
are forced into. The repetition of “it is a violation of human rights” emphasized to
the audience that women were being deprived of human rights around the world.
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Clinton also repeated, “I have met” when expressing the way in which all the
different women, mothers, and families she had met around the world were fighting
for women rights. The lines “I have met” showed the audience that there are people,
just like them, around the world fighting for the same cause. A dominant focus of
Clinton’s speech was how women’s freedoms differ from human freedoms in other
countries. When speaking about this Clinton said, “Freedom means the right of
people to assemble, organize, and debate openly. Freedom means respecting the
views of those who may disagree with the views of the government. It means not
taking any citizens away from their loved ones and jailing them, mistreating them,
or denying them their freedom or dignity because of the peaceful expression of their
ideas and opinions.” Clinton repeated, “Freedom means” several times throughout
her speech to emphasize this point. The anaphora Clinton used throughout her
speech was used to drill the ideas into the audience’s brains and the repetition
helped the audience do so.
Overall, Hillary Rodham Clinton gave a convincing speech on women’s rights
at the U.N. World Conference by using the key rhetorical techniques ethos, pathos,
logos, and anaphoras. The use of these techniques helped the audience believe in
the cause of which Clinton was speaking about, sympathize for situations females
were being put through, and worked to strive towards equal rights for everyone.
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Work’s Cited
Clinton, Hillary Rodham. embarks to the U.N. 4th World Conference on Women
Plenary Session. Beijing, China. 5 Sept. 1995. Speech.