6. Practical Conclusions (Coordinators)
Introduction
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Now we want to look at the practical conclusions for our work as coordinators.
This is an important part of our call, especially in the defense of the truth, in this
case sanity in regard to the differences between men and women.
We can cover some issues in our discussion. I will handle many of them by referring you to existing documents (also posted on the course website).
1. We give a basic teaching about the roles of men and women that provides
a common understanding for community members.
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The Foundations Course 2 talk: “2.040.1 FC2 Community and Family, Particip”, talk 3, attached below
“3.4210 2006 Men-Women Cmty Foundations”
2. We need to understand and maintain the basic structure of the community
in regard to men-women roles.
a. The overall leaders of the community (the coordinators, the district heads or
community leaders or senior leaders) are men.
b. Senior woman leaders work with the men leaders, especially in the care of the
women and children.
c. They also give input to the coordinators, especially about matters of their direct
concern, but also about the community as a whole.
– See “3.4240 2006 Women Leadership” for development of this area.
d. Some special problems:
a. Men and women leaders need training in how to work together.
– See “3.4240 2006 Women Leadership” for helpful material.
b. We follow the rule that a coordinator (or senior man leader) should not meet
with a woman leader alone.
c. We do not recommend married couples normally working as a couple in pastoral leadership.
– See “3.4310 2008 H&W in Pstl Leadership”
e. Men meet in men’s groups for personal support, women in women’s groups.
– We do not necessarily have parallel groups of husbands and wives.
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3. We need to raise our boys to be manly and our girls to be womanly.
1. Contemporary currents tell us that we need to raise our children to “be their
unique selves”. Christian teaching tells us that we should raise them to be godly
people who seek to live in a way that advances the Lord’s work and that serves
the good of other people, especially those in their families and community — and
are manly or womanly. We need to counter common societal values here:
– Narcissism (our personal self-fulfillment above all) is not Christian.
– Our personal preferences for how we want to be do not trump Christian character or a servant orientation.
– Our unique characteristics are not the most important ones, and often are sinful.
– No one can realize all their potential, and if we focus on that, we end up being
self-centered.
2. We need to do some things to counter homogenizing currents of society.
– Sons need to see their fathers acting like godly men and visibly leading their
family.
– Fathers need to spend time with their sons, especially working and serving
with them, not just playing with them.
– Fathers should get them into sports and help them get free of physical fear
(without being rash or impulsive).
– We need to counter the pressure for girls to play like a boy, be more competitive, be involved in sports the way boys are.
– Mothers should train the girls to do homemaking.
– If children are failing to identify with children of their own sex, especially
from the ages of 3-11, we should help their parents to change that.
– We should encourage older boys to be involved in team sports and “hardship
events” events that challenge them and build physical capacity for enduring
difficult circumstances.
– We should discourage heavy involvement of older girls from competitive
sports.
– We should encourage older boys to hang around together and not spend much
time in informal mixed groups.
– The father should take a lead in getting important decisions made for the teen
years, both for the family approach (e.g., discouraging romantic relationships)
and decision making (e.g., going to a school where there is a university outreach).
4. We need to handle non-community environments in a way that upholds
our approach but does not follow it fully.
a. Our outreach environments
– We adjust our approach to evangelistic situations.
– See “Men and Women in Leadership in Kairos Outreaches” (file name:
“Base Document 6.1”).
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We have no problem attracting women if we have men and do not have to be
concerned to adjust our approach so we attract more women.
Our strategy increasingly is to create men’s environments and there to teach
the men to be men.
We can speak in a limited and gradual way about men-women roles in outreaches.
b. The churches
– Application of our approach in the churches is awkward because the churches
have lost unity and clarity in this area (and more broadly).
– Although some churches maintain a male priesthood or ordained ministry,
they often have lost the underlying rationale for them.
– If we stay in a particular church or parish, we probably have to live with
the approach they use.
c. Work situations:
– We have only limited options of how we can handle a work situation. Here
again we need to tolerate approaches we might not agree with.
– We should encourage both men and women to go into occupations that are
more suitable for their sex or take jobs within those occupations that are.
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The Foundations Course 2 talk on men and women
1. Introduction: sameness and difference
a. The reigning ideology tries to say men and women are the same, except sexually.
b. The sameness approach is increasingly being seen to be defective.
2. The fundamental biblical teaching: equal, different, complementary
a. Men and women are the same (equal):
1) in God’s image: So God created man in his own image, in the image of God
he created him; male and female he created them (Gen. 1:27).
2) in sin: For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Rom. 3:23).
3) in receiving the Holy Spirit (Acts 2:17-18).
4) Men and women are one in Christ (Gal. 3:27-8): For as many of you as were
baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there
is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one
in Christ Jesus.
b. Men and women are also different
1) The scriptures teach that there should be social role and personality (character
trait) differences (Titus 2:1-6).
2) Scientific and social scientific evidence indicates that these differences correspond to psycho-social patterns that are rooted in our biological makeup (created by God).
c. The differences between men and women are complementary
1) Two things are complementary when they go together to create a whole something greater than each one alone.
2) Also, each has a contribution to make that cannot be simply replaced by a
contribution from the other.
3. Social roles in a changing culture
a. In our culture we are living through a time of tremendous social change in this area.
– This change is contributing to some significant problems, especially in family
life.
b. The scriptural pattern for differences:
1) There should be an order in relationships:
– The husband is the head of the family (e.g., Eph. 5:21-33)
The wife shares in authority (e.g., 1 Tim. 5:14)
– Men are the elders of the community (e.g., 1 Tim. 3:1-7; 2:11-12)
Women share in the leadership (e.g., Titus 2:4-5; 1 Tim. 3:11; Rom. 16:1)
2) There should be outward expressions of sexual identity (e.g., Deut. 22:5; 1
Cor. 11:4-5, 13-16).
3) There should be some task distinctions between men and women.
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c. Women’s and men’s contributions
1) Roles are primarily a matter of special contribution, not of limitation or restriction.
2) Both men and women should be strong and capable, but in somewhat different
ways.
Some additional comments
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The purpose of the order between men and women is unity and effectiveness, especially in regard to the next generation, not the benefit of the man (it should be
mutually beneficial).
– Although traditionally the man has been understood as the representative of
the family
Mutual love comes first; order second.
Application is always a question, especially in modern circumstances.
It is valuable to have both men and women; we should gain the advantage out of it.
– We also should desire to be what are.
Our approach was just the traditional Christian (Catholic) approach. It has been
eroded, but not officially (in most churches) changed.
The basic challenge is modern egalitarianism – the promotion of the individual at
the expense of the communal.
There is also an underlying moral change — the focus on power rather than service.
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