“The blessing of living a truer life”
Erev Rosh Hashanah 5776. B´nei Israel, 2015
Rabbi Darío Feiguin
Tichei shanah vekilelotecha; Tachel shanah uvirchotecha
May this year end, along with its curses. May the new year begin, along with its
blessings.
Thus do we pray on Selichot, that we might be able to leave behind that which caused
us so much pain, and that we will have the strength, the courage, and the faith to face
that which is to come, with an attitude of faith and renewal.
“Leaving behind” is different from forgetting. To be sure, that which we have lived must
be evaluated. Remembering is an integral part of being Jewish. We have the
opportunity to repent for what we have done wrong, to try to do things a little bit better;
in the meantime, time does not wait, and life goes on, sometimes in ways that we would
not choose.
The year 5775 that is ending was a difficult year from many perspectives.
In my country, insecurity, instability, polarization and the hatred to which it leads, all
increased. There is less confidence, and fewer smiles. Huge egos block the minyanim,
the collective action, brotherhood.
We were ecstatic about our success in the Copa America, but quickly came back to
reality; perhaps this might suggest to us that “winning” should be seen not as prevailing
over another, but instead being true to oneself, genuine, able to share instead of only
compete, able to love, dream, and imagine.
The murder of prosecutor Alberto Nisman and the arrogance of our president left Latin
America’s largest Jewish community anguished.
Israel found itself at war, horrible as always, against an enemy hidden underground and
shielded by helpless, innocent civilians. The horror of so much death and bloodshed
continues to shock us, while our children and the children of our friends risk their lives in
order to live in peace, free of missiles and of the fear that a terrorist might appear in
your garden trying to kill you along with your family. All wars profane G-d’s name, none
more so than war against heartless, murderous terrorism.
This state of war is like the calm before the storm, a threatening grey sky that fills us
with dread.
At the same time, we are witnessing the re-awakening of anti-Semitism that seemed to
be slumbering. Cultivated in a Petri dish of hypocrisy and craven interests, it demonizes
the Jews based on the ignorant arguments that would make their progenitors from the
Middle Ages proud.
We have also seen the growing threat posed by murderous fundamentalism, practiced
by groups whose philosophy is based on conquering humanity, with terror, murder of
students, decapitation and unparalleled cruelty being their modus operandi. Their
insane purpose: To convert all of humanity to a single “true faith.”
We used to think that the PLO was the greatest threat. Then came Hamas and
Hizballah, followed by Al Qaeda, and most recently by ISIS. What will the next socalled “greatest threat” look like?
I am also profoundly shaken by Jewish fanaticism, manifested recently in Israel by the
murder of a young woman marching with her friend in a Gay Pride parade, and the
killing of a Palestinian infant when her house was burned by arsonists. I am upset
because this sickness is not only “out there;” we have it among us as well.
Let us not be confused. Being a Jew is not about making the world more Jewish, but
rather about making the world more human. If others are off-base, we should not join
them in the error of their ways.
For many of us, 5775 was a year of personal difficulties. We lost loved ones, lived
through crises and conflictive situations, experienced profound changes in our
professional lives, confronted illnesses, and were tested by familial problems,
frustration, and disappointment.
In those moments, love is what sustains us. Only love can pull us through when the
curses come one after the other, and it feels as if the world is collapsing around us.
Therefore, in addition to nearly shouting Shehecheianu in thanks to G-d for being alive,
today more than ever, we thank our loved ones for the love that sustains us even in
crisis and in the most challenging tests.
Today is the time to look into the eyes of those whom we love, thank them, and tell
them how much we love them and how important they are in our lives.
We also thank those who are no longer with us, but whose love continues to sustain us
from the mysterious distance of memory.
I would like to take a moment to thank the community of B´nei Israel, the people who
called on me, who trusted in me, and who have opened their doors to Yudi and me,
making us feel at home. I thank the officers of the congregation for their work, effort
and dedication to maintain a kehilah kedoshah, with limited resources, but with souls
committed to the future of Am Israel. You cannot imagine how much I admire your
efforts. I come from a place where there are as many Jewish options as there are
television stations. And one chooses, as if using a remote control.
But it is not like that here. If you are rejected by the central institution that granted itself
the authority to decide who goes to the right and who goes to the left, you are left with
only two choices - assimilate, or fight for your own identity. And B´nei Israel is carrying
on that fight, with a ruach (spirit) that is contagious.
I thank you for your affection, openness and willingness to accept change. No situation
of change or transition is easy, institutional change being no exception. But you opened
your souls to these two imported dreamers who have basically come to give and receive
love.
We have many dreams and projects. And I must tell you that in my life, some of the
dreams that have seemed utopian became reality; when you are committed to
something to the depths of your soul and work for it with enthusiasm and determination,
anything is possible.
I thank all of you for filling this bet kneset and creating a minyan of tefila and of
reflection, of poetry and of song. I cannot tell you how important that is to me.
In the coming days, may we pray, be moved, evaluate and repent, so that when we
return to our everyday existence, we may make the decisions that will lead us to a life of
blessing. May the shofar that we sound these mornings rouse us from our apathy and
awaken us to the deepest values, as intense as the wailing that comes from the most
primitive and intimate part of our being, calling us to live truer lives. May our ancient
prayers motivate us to make better choices. G-d is judging us during this period on the
quality of our decisions, our repentance, and how we ourselves will reorient our lives.
Perhaps it is not necessary to completely change reality in order for us to try to end the
curses and multiply the blessings. It would be wonderful to be able to do so, but it does
not work that way.
As each and every one of us tries to generate Tikun Olam, correction of the world, it
seems to me that we might also try a different focus. We should try to understand
things in a different way. This in and of itself would be a blessing.
Various philosophers and modern Jewish thinkers have made reference to this, and
during these Yamim Noraim, I will share some of their reflections with you. I believe
they might valuable in helping us to focus constructively.
Today I would like to begin this review with a teaching of Martin Buber. To me, Buber
emphasizes arrogant domination as one of the cores of an empty, directionless life.
He says that there are two types of relationships. One is “I-It,” and the other is “I-Thou.”
In all I-It relationships, the “I” is superior, making the relationship one of domination.
From this point of view, I assign things the value that I believe they have. If I relate this
way to nature, for example, I use it, I conquer it, and I might even abuse it.
That is the way I relate to things. If the other thing is an “It,” I exercise control, acting
based on my interests and convenience. I compete with “It,” always thinking about
strategies of domination.
And that will also be the way I relate to G-d. If G-d is an “It,” I make requests and
demands, and I question.
But if I moderate my arrogance, I may not actually change reality, but my vision of it will
be totally different. If I see things as “Thou,” I do not evaluate them based on my
interests. I will not revere things, because, to paraphrase my dear rabbi, friend and
mentor Marshall T. Meyer Z”L, you can’t take it with you when you die.
If I see nature as “Thou,” I will not abuse it. I will ask its permission and respect it, in its
times and its cycles. If I see another as “Thou” and not “It,” I will cease to be in control,
and I will have to take the risk of giving of myself. I will transition from lack of trust in an
“It” to the ambiguity of a sincere, profound, authentic symmetrical relationship.
If I can say Baruch ata and think of G-d as “Thou,” I will no longer merely ask for things;
I will be capable of thanking and glorifying.
This is not a philosophical distinction. Instead, it is an approach for how we might
refocus our thinking about reality so that we do not see it as a curse. In other words, life
becomes a curse if we try to control it from above, relating to it only based on personal
interests and seeing the world as if it were centered on us.
It would seem that it is not so bad to lower ourselves, for sometimes it makes us more
human. It would seem that it is not so bad to mellow, for sometimes it makes us more
receptive.
Starting tonight and for the next 10 days, we will try to refocus reality, from within. The
Jewish calendar gives us the opportunity to engage in nothing less than a review of our
very existence. This means that not everything comes from outside; we are not simply
at the mercy of the Moira, a pre-determined fate.
We choose where to place ourselves. We choose to look down from above, as did the
memorable Robin Williams when he jumped on his desk in “The Dead Poets Society” in
order to see the world from a different perspective. And we choose to look up from
below, as when we prostrate ourselves during Alenu Demalchuyot, diminishing our
arrogance and recognizing our insignificance, our fragility, our vulnerability.
‫ משול כחרס הנשבר‬, says the poet of Unetane Tokef, our life is like a clay urn, brittle,
liable to be smashed to pieces by a single blow. Thus, we can continue to complain
that we live surrounded by curses, or we can strive for a life of blessings, more
authentic and true.
A life of curses is one of arrogance and lies, of packaging without content, of
dehumanizing, of disposable “I-It” relationships full of betrayal and devoid of affection.
Tichei shanah vekilelotecha!
May a life of curses be finished once and for all!
Let us welcome gratitude, symmetrical relationships, disinterested affection, sincere
expressions.
Tachel shanah uvirchotecha!
May this year be one in which we choose blessings, and may 5776 be a year of health ,
sustenance, love and shalom.
Translated by Phil Gelman