January 18, 2015
Epiphany 2
The Rev. Kim Gilliland
1 Samuel 3:1-10
1 Corinthians 6:12-20
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you,
whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought
with a price. Therefore honour God with your body.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NIV)
You might remember that during the fall we did a series of messages aimed at
reminding ourselves on what God expects of the Church. Today we are going to start
another series that will take us up to Easter. The theme will be not what God expects of
the Church but what God expects of us as individual followers of Christ. What are we
expected to do if we want to be faithful? How are we supposed to live our lives? How are
we supposed to treat others in this world? Those are all good questions and we will take a
stab at answering them over the next few months. We can’t do everything in that span of
time but we will try to cover a wide range.
Why is this important? It’s important because we are being bombarded on a daily
basis with information about how we should live. We get it in school. We get it at work.
We get it from the radio stations we listen to, the TV shows we watch and the newspapers
that we read. It seems that everyone is trying to tell us how to live. But what does the
Bible say? That will be our focus. Why is that important? It’s important because what our
schools and workplaces, radios, TVs and newspapers tell us is going to change over time,
probably in a very short period of time. But the teachings of the Bible are timeless. They
have been around for thousands of years and they have guided the lives of God’s children
from the very beginning of the Church. Because they are timeless they can guide us to.
page 1.
Before I continue, I want to say is that I have more proof that God has a sense of
humour. I felt God calling me to do this series a while ago. I prayed about it and
eventually said, “Yes,” to God. Only after saying, “Yes,” did I look at the lectionary
readings for today. And what did I find? The passage from 1 Corinthians 6 was all about
sexuality. And I thought, “Thank you God. You might just as well give me the toughest
one right off the bat. Get it over with so to speak.” So here we go. How do we live out
our faith when it comes to sexuality. So what does God say about sex?
Clearly God says that sex is dirty, nasty thing that you should only do when you
have to and only in order to have children. That’s what the Bible says about sex. Right?
No, wrong. That might be the impression that you might get from some well meaning
people in the Church but that is not what the Bible says.
It’s always seemed odd to me that people get the idea that the Church is against
sex. I understand where that comes from because some churches have what I would
consider to be some weird ideas about sex. Let’s look, for example, at the teaching about
the virginity of Mary. I think we can all agree that she was a virgin when she conceived
Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit. I get that part. But some churches also teaches the
perpetual virgin of Mary. What’s that? That means that Mary was a virgin before, during
and after she gave birth to Jesus. I don’t want to sound like I’m dumping on those
churches because I’m not. But this is one of the areas of theology where we disagree. I
would point to Matthew 13:55-56, Mark 3:31 and Luke 8:19 - all of which reference
Jesus’ brothers and sisters. How did Mary remain virgin if Jesus had brothers and sisters?
The most common explanation is that they actually weren’t Jesus siblings, they were his
cousins. But if that is true then why does the Bible say they are brothers and sisters?
As Protestants we believe that those brothers and sisters mentioned in the Bible
where Jesus’ biological siblings which means that Mary and Joseph must have had sex.
And do you know something else. I think they may have even enjoyed it.
It all comes down to how the Church views sex. Is sex a dirty, nasty and sinful
thing or is it a gift of God? Suffice it to say that sex in the Bible is not a sinful thing. It is
not to be avoided. It is a gift of God that was given to us for two reason. First it was given
to us so that we could grow together in intimacy as husbands and wives. Jesus said in
Mark 10:8 (NIV) that, “... the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but
page 2.
one.” What this tells us is that making love is the one of the most intimate things we can
share with each other not only physically but also spiritually because there is clearly a
spiritual dimension to sexuality. God gave us sex for intimacy. The second reason for the
gift of sex is so that we can have children. In Genesis 1:28 (NIV) God told the people to,
“Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it...” It’s tough to do that
without sex. Sex is a gift from God.
The Bible also gives us some pretty clear guidelines about how we are to use this
gift that God has given to us. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NIV) says this: “Do you not know
that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit; who is in you, whom you have received
from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. Therefore honour God
with your body.”
What does it mean to say that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit? It means
that the way that we use our bodies is important to God. We are called to use them for
God’s glory. Even our sexuality then should be seen as a offering to God.
Our bodies should be seen as temples of the Holy Spirit. Why is it then that so
many people think they can use their bodies as amusement parks? They use them just for
fun as though it matters not one little bit what they do or how they behave. As long as it
feels good and they are enjoying themselves then it’s okay. The trouble, however, is that
it’s not okay. Your body is a temple, not an amusement park and you need to treat it like
the sacred gift that it is.
That’s hard to do because sexual immorality is being strongly promoted in the
world, by the entertainment industry, by the media and even at times by the public
education system. Ruth and I were watching a video last weekend and one of the
characters said this: “Monogamy is not natural.” I heard that and it made me flinch. I
flinched not because I thought it was wrong - although I clearly think it is wrong - but
because it was not the first time I have heard it. I have heard that line in other movies. I
have heard it in TV shows. I have heard it from stand up comedians. I’ve heard it on talk
shows and open line radio shows. Why have I heard it so much? Because I believe that
this is the next direction the social engineers of our world want to take our society. That’s
why we need to be very clear about what the Bible says and what God expects of us.
page 3.
As men and women of God, we need to understand that our bodies are not
amusement parks. They are temples of the Holy Spirit, sacred before God, and we need to
treat them with the sacredness that they deserve. But how do we live that out?
1 Corinthians 6:13 (NIV) says this: “The body is not meant for sexual immorality
but for the Lord and the Lord for the body.” Clearly, we are not to engage in sexual
immorality. But what is sexual immorality? I could answer that question but I’d rather
answer another one by turning the question around. Rather than talking about sexual
immorality, let’s talk about sexual purity. What is that?
I don’t think sexual purity is difficult to define. I think we can define it biblically
as celibacy in singleness and faithfulness in marriage to a spouse of the opposite sex. Did
you hear that? Just to be clear, I’m going to say it again. Sexual purity is celibacy in
singleness and faithfulness in marriage to a spouse of the opposite sex. Does the Bible
say that anywhere? Not in so many words but it certainly outlines the concepts in
different places. The virginity of Mary is well established. Why was she a virgin?
Because she was not married. 1 Corinthians 7:25-39 has a lot to say about marriage and
virginity. It always equates an unmarried person with a virgin. In biblical language they
are synonymous. As far as faithfulness in marriage goes, Jesus echoed the teachings of
the Old Testament when he said that man shall leave his mother and father and be united
with his wife in such a way that they become one flesh. 1 Corinthians 7:39 says that a
woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. Likewise a man is bound to his wife.
We are bound to each other. This includes sexual faithfulness.
Sexual purity in the Bible is celibacy in singleness and faithfulness in marriage to a
spouse of the opposite sex. That is the biblical norm and that is the standard that we as
the Church need to proclaim and seek to maintain. Is it a popular viewpoint? Absolutely
not. In many places, if I said these things, I would quickly be labeled as old fashioned,
naive, misguided and let’s not forget homophobic. But I am none of these. I am not here
to preach to gospel of Hollywood, Oprah Winfrey or Much Music. My job is to preach
the gospel of Christ and sometimes that gospel runs counter to the teachings of the world
and that’s why we as the Church are called to be counter-cultural.
“But Pastor,” someone says, “How do you expect anyone to follow those rules in
today’s world?” The answer to that question is that it’s not my concern whether or not
they follow the teachings of the Bible. I don’t just preach things that are easy to follow. I
do my best to preach the truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ in every aspect of life.
page 4.
Whether people follow it or not is between them and God. I’m not going to judge them
and neither should you. But that should never deter me from proclaiming the truth.
But now we have another problem. The truth is - and I think we all know this - that
as far as sexual practices are concerned, Christians pretty well follow the same path as the
rest of the world. The Journal of Psychology and Christianity found that sixty-five
percent of men and fifty-five percent of women will have a extramarital affair before the
age of forty. Christianity Today found that twenty-three percent of pastors admitted the
same thing. Those numbers, I think you would agree, are disturbing.
As far as premarital sex goes, Christians are involved pretty well to the same
degree as non-Christians. There is no significant difference. As one study stated, it seems
that true love no longer waits. That seems to be true for both people of faith and those
who are not.
What does that mean? Honestly, it means that almost everyone here today have
been involved in sexual immorality at one time in their life. Almost all of us have either
been involved with premarital sex or have had an extramarital affair. Think about that.
Think about what it means. What does it mean? It means that we are flawed human
beings who make mistakes and fall to temptation. That should be no surprise.
So how do we respond to that present day reality? Let me break that down into two
parts. I want to deal with premarital sex and extramarital sex separately because I think
they are separate. Extramarital sex is the easier one of the two. If you are having an affair,
if you are being unfaithful to your husband or your wife, or if that ever happens in the
future, there is only one answer. You have to stop it and you have to stop it now. You
cannot work on two relationships at the same time. Your primary responsibility is with
your spouse. That is the person to whom you have a life long commitment. Maybe she’s
not as shapely as she once was. Chances are you aren’t either. Maybe he’s gone bald and
has long hairs growing out of his nose and ears. We all change and so have you.
Then I hear people excuse their actions by saying things like, “She doesn’t meet
my needs anymore,” or, “I still love him but I’m no longer in love with him.” When I
hear people say things like that I just want to go and get my stupid stick and give them a
good whack with it. I always wonder who taught people to say such stupid things. I’m not
saying that those things aren’t true. They may very well be true. But you cannot blame
page 5.
your spouse for your actions. You cannot blame your spouse for your lack of fulfillment
in life. You cannot blame your spouse if you are not happy. You cannot blame your
spouse if you are no longer in love. All of those things are 100% on you.
A dear friend of mine lost his wife a couple of years ago. They had been married
for thirty years. Fifteen years into their marriage, she became very ill with a serious
neurological disease. She had to stop working at a good paying job. That affected their
income. The medical bills piled up but somehow they found the money. They drained
every penny of their savings. Ten years later she was in a nursing home with limited
mobility, unable to feed herself or look after her most intimate personal needs. Her nice
figure and pretty face had become shriveled and bent. My friend went to see her every
single day in the nursing home. Every Tuesday, he would take her to their home and they
would spend the day together. If he was away from home on business, he would phone
her every night. I heard parts of those conversations and they were like to teenagers in
love. They loved to talk. It was always the best part of their day. When she died a couple
of years ago, he was financially broke. He once confided in me that they had not has sex
in fifteen years. He also told me that he would never get married again. He said that once
you’ve had the best wife, no one else would measure up.
If you’ve fallen out of love with your spouse, if you are no longer attracted to him,
if you don’t find her sexy, look in the mirror. That’s where you’ll find the reason. That’s
where you will find the answer. Work on yourself and work on your marriage. You won’t
find fulfillment in an affair. In fact, I’ve counseled more than a few adulterers in my
ministry and I have never yet met one who was proud of what they had done. The one
thing that person after person has learned is this; as far as affairs go, if they will do it with
you, they will do it to you. Don’t forget that.
Affairs are the easier of the two. If you are involved in an affair, just stop it. But
what about sexual purity before marriage? What do we say to the vast majority of
unmarried people who are involved in this? First of all, let’s be clear that this is not part
of God’s plan. We are called to respect the purity of our bodies as temples of the Holy
That may not be popular but we are still called to understand the biblical standard
and seek to follow it. Having said that, I also know that a majority of people who get
married even in this church are already living together. How do we deal with that? The
short answer is this. If you never plan to marry the person you’re sleeping with, then stop
having sex with them. If you are planning to marry this person, then make plans to get
page 6.
married. It’s as simple as that.
I don’t insist that the couple stop living together until they are married. I don’t do
that because, quite frankly, I think it’s ridiculous. It just leads to lying and deceit. All that
will do is alienate a couple from the Church and that is clearly not our intention. I’m just
happy when a couple that is living together wants to get married. It means that they are
doing their best to correct the situation. Whether they continue to co-habitate or not is
completely up to them. But whatever they decide to do, we will rejoice in the marriage
when it happens.
It is so easy to judge others. It is so easy to tell them they are wrong and that they
are sinning and falling short of God’s glory. But guess what, we all fall short. As
someone said at Bible study last week, “I need to stop judging people whose sins are
different than mine.” How true that is.
Rather than judging others and condemning them because they aren’t perfect, we
as the Church should embrace and support them as they seek to move towards living
closer to the way God wants them to live.
At the same time, I will uphold the biblical standard because that is what God has
called me to do. I will also say this. Sexual sins, like every other kind of sin is forgivable.
If we take it to God, if we confess with our mouths and believe in our hearts, we are
forgiven and freed from the chains that bind us.
Sexual purity means celibacy in singleness and faithfulness in marriage to a spouse
of the opposite sex. As Paul wrote: “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the
Holy Spirit; who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;
you were bought with a price. Therefore honour God with your body.”
page 7.
We come to you, O God, after another week of activity and ministry. We pray that
your blessings would continue to shower down upon us and what we do in the name of
Jesus Christ.
We give you thanks for winter weather and snow. You made them too, O God.
They are the work of your hand. Be with those, however, who find the cold and snow
difficult to deal with. We pray today for safety on the roads and sidewalks.
We lift up in prayer those who mourn. Give them comfort in their sadness and
peace in the midst of anxiety. Bless them with an inner healing that only your Spirit can
provide. We keep in mind especially all those who are mourning in the aftermath of the
massacre of 2,000 people in Nigeria. We don’t understand things like this but we would
be bold to pray for healing and peace.
We pray for those who are sick and those in hospital. We think especially about
Rebekah Gilliland as she seeks to recover from her injuries. Grant your healing touch. Be
with everyone else who is suffering from the flu that seems to be raging all around us. Be
especially with the young children and the elderly who are most at risk.
Holy God, we want to always keep the priorities of our lives in proper order and
balance, choosing your will and purpose over our own. Help us also to always remember
that we have a purpose and reason for being here. Help us to understand more of that
purpose and how we might fulfill it more completely.
Finally, we pray that you would give us bold hearts to share your Good News.
Often, we are timid and hesitate to share our faith. We need your encouragement. There
are other times when we are arrogant and insensitive. At those times, we need your
gentleness and compassion. Give us, O God, the tools that we need to share the Gospel
message and lead others to a saving faith in Jesus Christ. Hear our prayers and the
prayers of all of your people. Amen.
page 8.
January 19, 2015 / Epiphany 2
1 Samuel 3:1-10, (11-20); Psalm 139:1-6, 13-18; John 1:43-51; 1 Corinthians 6:12-20
Let us praise the One who gives us life.
Let us praise the One who knows our every thought.
Let us praise the One who speaks to our hearts.
Let us praise the One who hears our prayers.
Let us worship the One who calls and saves us.
In you, O God, we are wonderfully made. As part of your created order, we lift our voices in praise to
you, the Master Designer. Great is your power. Gentle is your love. Strong are your arms that hold us
and offer comfort. Our voices are lifted in song. Our hearts are open to your Word. Fill us with your
Spirit and surprises us, once again, by your amazing presence. Amen.
ONE: Hear, O God, the confessions of our heart as we come before your throne of grace;
ALL: We call upon your mercy.
ONE: Save us from the timid confusion that prevents us from doing your work;
ALL: We call upon your compassion.
ONE: Save us from the self-centeredness that consumes us and blinds us to the needs of others.
ALL: We call upon your grace.
ONE: Save us from the uncertainty of hesitation and enable us to step forward in faith to greet your
Spirit with courage and confidence;
ALL: Forgive us and empower us to walk closer to your way.
God's power to forgive is boundless. The redeemed life the God offers is eternal. The forgiveness that
we experience now is but a foretaste of the everlasting compassion of God who cleanses us from all of
our sins.
These gifts, O God, we bring to you in gratitude for your blessings. All that we have is yours. Give us
the wisdom to use it for your purpose. Amen.
God has called us to live holy and redeemed lives. Let us go with the confidence that God's Spirit walks
with us and enables us to journey in holiness. Go to be the people of God.
page 9.
The Rev. Kim Gilliland
January 18, 2015
Sex is a gift of God:
1. so that husbands and wives can grow in intimacy.
... the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one.
Mark 10:8 (NIV)
2. So that we can have children.
Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it...
Genesis 1:28 (NIV)
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit; who is in you, whom you have
received from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. Therefore honour God
with your body.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NIV)
Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit.
But we often treat them like amusement parks.
We should treat our bodies with the sacredness that they deserve.
The body is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord and the Lord for the body.
1 Corinthians 6:13 (NIV)
Sexual purity is celibacy in singleness and
faithfulness in marriage to a spouse of the opposite sex.
The reality however is that Christians are almost as likely to break this as non-Christians.
Extramarital affairs are wrong and should be stopped immediately.
If there is a problem with a marriage, deal with the problem.
Pre-marital sex is also contrary to God’s will.
Couples who live together should be prepared to get married.
We are not to judge them but to support them in making things right.
page 10.

What God Expects of His People – Sexual Purity