Copyright 2012 – The Anglican Parish of Stephen & St Mary, Mt Waverley
Not to be copied or republished without written permission
http://www.stephenandmary.org.au
PENTECOST 16 (B)
September 16 2012
“Nothing Else To Lose”
(Mark 8.34-38)
Grant Bullen
Introduction
The teaching strategy of Jesus was essentially subversive – he planted unexpected stories or
metaphors in the heads and hearts of his listeners… without explanation… and then let the idea go
to work… that hidden mysterious process of change fuelled by the Spirit. He always began with
something well-known to the experience of ordinary people... then went on to say “God/the
kingdom is sort of like that…’ Sometimes it was a comforting idea – like a shepherd looking for a lost
sheep. But some were profoundly disturbing… offensive even… Like today’s gospel… ‘If you want to
understand the Way I’m putting before you… it’s like a man picking up a cross and walking to
execution.”
There is nothing current that can compare to the horror of this metaphor. These people have
indeed seen crucifixion in all its brutality – it was part of their nightmare as oppressed people.
They’ve seen the bodies pinned grotesquely in full view of everyone who passes by... heard the
screams as the nails bite... watched the horror of slow agonising deaths over many days, with birds
swarming to peck-out the eyes of still-living victim. So the metaphor of the cross works because it is
an experience seared brutally into their memory and imagination. And Jesus chooses it – of all the
metaphors he could have chosen – as a means of describing the path of one who would follow him.
‘If you want to walk my way, then deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me.’
It’s obviously intended to disturb... to rattle the cage... Its intent is subversive. But what on earth
was he trying to communicate? What did he hope the Spirit could do with such a horrible idea? And
remember... he is using this metaphor of the cross before the event of his own crucifixion, so there is
no comfortable theological overlay here to soften it – nothing about atonement or redemption or
the like – there is just the metaphor alone... “It’s like a man picking up a cross and walking to
execution.”
1
The most common way the church explains this metaphor is that it calls us to a radical acceptance of
suffering and death.1 And there is undoubtedly truth in this... but I don’t think it’s the whole deal... I
think there’s much more...
Notice that the exact quotation is ‘take up your cross’... The Romans used crucifixion as a deterrent,
so they made it as barbarous as possible. Once condemned, the victim was tortured, beaten-up,2
then stripped naked (no loin cloth), and forced to carry the heavy cross beam to the place of
execution. It was a public event – as depicted vividly in countless Passion movies – subjecting the
victim to whatever sport or cruelty the local populace might choose to inflict on them. And its
purpose was... humiliation!
It is this walk of shame that Jesus particularly refers to... ‘pick up your cross beam and walk’. So
included in3 the subversive intent of this metaphor is... ‘If you want to walk my Way, then embrace
the experience of humiliation.’ What on earth is he trying to plant in us here????
Humiliation
Richard Rohr says, “I have prayed for years for one good humiliation a day...”4 He argues it’s one of
the best ways for us to become aware of our shadow side, in order that the Spirit might be able to
do something different with us. I’ll use a personal example to explain...
Up until my divorce in my early 30’s, I put a lot of energy into maintaining a public façade of moral
correctness and righteousness – I was squeaky clean...5 But it was a false and constructed self... not
my reality at all. However, with the public humiliation of a failed marriage (especially for a priest!), I
could no longer pretend. I hated the shame and it was very painful, but mercifully, I somehow knew
I couldn’t keep playing that game... and that ‘old fake Grant’ died... and over many years, the Spirit
has taught me a new and better way.
That’s works as an example but it’s somewhat dramatic... especially when Richard Rohr is talking
about everyday humiliations... so try this... I walk home from yet another meeting, and once again I
1
You’ll note that most liturgical prayers approach it this way.
As we see in the Passion stories - this was not special treatment for Jesus... it was normal procedure
3
I am NOT arguing this is the full intent of the metaphor… but that it is part of it.
4
Richard Rohr, “Falling Upward”, pg. 128
5
And the church liked me that way.
2
2
feel the shame of knowing that I talked far too much. And before I go to bed I repent to God yet
again and ask, ‘Why do I do that? What am I looking for?’... and get up the next morning and try to
hear some new insight on whatever that’s about... and once again, ask the Spirit to change me.
That’s what Richard Rohr is saying... “I pray for one good humiliation a day...”
I think this is both an interesting and helpful insight into the Jesus metaphor of the cross... but it’s
only a doorway into a bigger meaning....
Deny Yourself
For humiliation is only one of the many experiences that life gives us to encourage the death of the
false self. Failure, disappointment, heart-break, sickness, old age... all chip away at the ego... if we
are willing to embrace them.
Note the first words of today’s gospel quote... “deny yourself...” Or as other versions translate it,
“renounce self...”6 Forget yourself... stop being consumed with your own world, your own stuff...
put all that ego-driven ‘me’ and ‘I’ business aside. Let that old self die – embrace the crucifixion of
the ego in whatever life experience that comes in. If it’s humiliation embrace it; if it’s failure
welcome it... whatever it is, learn from it and let it change you... for this is the way to freedom and
life.
Nothing Else To Lose
Jesus says, “If you want to walk my way... renounce self... and take up your cross... and follow me.”
It’s a subversive metaphor and not meant to be explained (or contained)... so I can only say ‘this is
what I hear... this is my personal paraphrase...’
‘Forget yourself... and live as a person who has nothing else to lose...’
The condemned man, as in the man carrying his cross-beam to crucifixion, has nothing else left to
lose. At that moment he has the possibility to be totally free, for what else can be done to him?
6
For example, see the Revised English Bible.
3
Remember this is a metaphor – it’s not literal – Jesus is not suggesting that we go out there and seek
to do harm to ourselves. It’s a subversive metaphor that says “it’s like”... in order that the idea
might take us to unexpected insight. And so effectively Jesus says, ‘Imagine what it would be like to
be someone who has lost everything... and you could, for the first time, actually forget yourself...
almost as if you never existed. Imagine yourself there with the cross-beam on your shoulders and
there is nothing left to lose – no future, no past... there is only God; no hopes, no dreams... there is
only God. That’s what it’s like to follow my way.’
When The Ego Quietens
When through the experience of life, the action of the Spirit, and the assent of the heart, the ego
quietens... and that terrible incessant chatter of the mind saying ‘me’ and ‘I’ all the time... falls
silent... the most amazing freedom and spaciousness opens.
I no longer need to be right, because ‘so what’ if I’m wrong?
I no longer need to win, because what does it matter if I lose?
I no longer need people’s approval, because this is just an ordinary life I’m living, and God loves me
for who and what I am!
I no longer need to be important or recognised, because secretly... God has a special preference for
the little ones!
I no longer need to strive and push, because the future is God’s and God’s alone anyway!
There no longer needs to be a ‘me’, for God is the sea in which I swim.
When the ego quietens... the most amazing freedom and spaciousness opens.
Conclusion
Jesus could have chosen any metaphor he liked to describe the Way to Life that he was walking. And
he chose “If you want to walk my way... renounce self... and take up your cross... and follow me.”
‘Forget yourself... and live as a person who has nothing else to lose...’
4
If the condemned man on his way to crucifixion allows it to be so... if he can put aside all that stuff
that the ego is consumed with... fear, anxiety, anger, revenge, vindication... if he can forget himself...
(and ‘why not’ ... given how it is, given that there’s nothing else to lose)... he is totally free... for in
that moment of his life... there is only God. Jesus says, ‘Imagine that place... what would it be like?
Because it’s like that.’
When the ego is forgotten... when the obsessive ‘me’ dies... the most amazing freedom and
spaciousness opens.
5