BODY PARAGRAPH EXAMPLE for term paper to prove controversial topic that wild horse roundups are
wrong:
Grabber quote:
“…they use a stun gun. Supposedly to kill them instantly. And this black stallion took six shots
and still did not go down…he got loose on the kill floor and they had to get a rifle…” (Stillman
299).
Thesis: Wild horses are the symbol of freedom in the American West and should not be rounded up by
the Bureau of Land Management because the process is costly, many horses are injured or die, and
there will soon be no horses left in the wild due to aggressive land management by the BLM and cattle
ranchers.
1. BP1 Topic sentence – The mustang roundup process is costly for American taxpayers and is not
cost effective.
a. “These roundups scheduled by the BLM are costing taxpayers $40 million per year. The costs
are for the holding pens and the roundup removal process using helicopters and select
cattle ranchers…” (“American Wild Horse Preservation Campaign” 2).
b. ”No one can argue that in the current economic situation it makes any sense to spend
millions of taxpayer dollars chasing wild horses around…” (Smith 1).
Type Body paragraphs in Times New Roman twelve font. No bold or underline will be used
on “real” paragraphs:
Topic sentence. The mustang roundup process is costly for American taxpayers and
is not cost effective. Transition, lead-in, quotation sentence. For example, the
roundups are year-round and so expensive that “These roundups scheduled by the
BLM are costing taxpayers $40 million per year. The costs are for the holding pens
and the roundup removal process using helicopters and select cattle ranchers…”
(“American Wild Horse Preservation Campaign” 2). Comment #1. Vast quantities
of cash are needed to pay for helicopters and holding pens. Comment #2. The cattle
ranchers who round up the horses make millions of dollars from the government
during the roundups. Transition, lead-in, quotation sentence. In addition, the
United States of America is in the middle of a recession and is in terrible debt so ”No
one can argue that in the current economic situation it makes any sense to spend
millions of taxpayer dollars chasing wild horses around…” (Smith 1). Comment #1.
Wild horses have lived without human interference for hundreds of years; they do not
need humans to round them up at great cost to taxpayers. Comment #2. Schools and
other publicly-funded organizations are suffering from lack of cash and money used
for the horses could go to them. Concluding sentence. Locking thousands of horses
up in holding pens at a cost of millions is wrong when there are more important
projects to fund.
2. BP2 Topic sentence – Many wild mustangs are injured or die because of the roundups.
a. “Activists maintain that a colt was run also hard and long during the roundup that the hoof
walls on its two hind feet came off, leaving exposed bones and nerves. The colt was
euthanized …” (Griffith 1).
b. “…newborn foals run to exhaustion, found hog tied and abandoned on the range, horses
and burros bleeding from the nostrils, broken legs …” (“Unprecedented” 6).
3. BP3 Topic sentence – Roundups of mustangs are often brutal.
a. “…an older mare collapsing after being stampeded for miles in a helicopter chase … steam
blowing from her nostrils…” (“BLM Called Upon to Halt Wild Horse Roundups 2).
b. “Last month at least 34 wild horses died or were euthanized during and after a forced
roundup” (Cohen 3).
4. BP4 Topic sentence – Horses often die on the way to and in BLM holding facilities.
a. “…a mare fell down in a trailer after being driven for miles on the range by a helicopter…
and died a short time later” (Griffith 1).
b. “Of six horses that have died at the Fallon facility, five involved mares thought to have
experienced difficulty making the transition to hay feed” (Griffith 2).
5. BP5 Topic sentence – Observers are not allowed by the BLM to visit roundups or holding
facilities.
a. “…humane advocates are currently being prevented from observing this roundup”
(“Unprecedented” 2).
b. “One distant hidden observer was able to witness the brutal beating to death of a foal which
could not stand” (“Unprecedented” 3).
6. BP6 Topic sentence- Soon there will be no wild mustangs left in the American West.
a. “… the herd will be left with a predominantly male sex ratio…” (“Foundation Demands BLM
Call Off Massive Winter Mustang Roundups” 1).
b. “The Antelope Valley Complex roundup aims to remove more than 2,000 federally
protected wild horses from a 1.3 million acres public lands area leaving behind
approximately 427 horses” (“American Wild Horse Preservation Campaign” 1).
7. BP7 Topic Sentence – The cattle ranchers are using underhand strategies to gain public lands for
cattle grazing.
a. “Ranchers who have exploited public lands for generations are angry that wild horses share
the range…” (Smith 1).
b. “…range damage is caused by privately-owned livestock, which outnumber horses more
than 100 to one” (“Unprecedented” 9).
8. BP8 Topic sentence – The BLM does not follow the recommendations of scientists when
planning mustang herd management.
a. “In Montana this will leave a non-viable herd of only 120 horses” (“Unprecedented” 2).
b. “When they take out the old horses they remove the ones that know the way to water, the
good grass, the way around the canyon-they’re taking all the knowledge of the herd”
(“Unprecedented” 2).
9. BP9 Topic sentence- The BLM does not manage land in a way which follows the
recommendations of the 1971 law.
a. “The range is still green in late August following three years of above average rain…”
(“Unprecedented” 2).
b. “The BLM plans to remove 17 horses over ten years old, and old, sick or lame horses shall be
destroyed” (“Unprecedented” 2).
10. Bp10 Topic sentence – The wild mustang is a symbol of the American West and should be
protected.
a. “The horses have lived here for over 200 years” (“Unprecedented” 2).
b. “At the end of the nineteenth century, there were two million wild horses ranging across
seventeen states” (Stillman 296).
Strong final quote:
“The horse is our great silent witness” (Stillman 304).
1. “Ranchers who have exploited public lands for generations are angry that wild horses share the
range…” (Smith1).
2. “No one can argue that in the current economic situation it makes any sense to spend millions
of taxpayer dollars chasing wild horses around…” (Smith 1).
3. “…public outrage over video of a mustang collapsing during the wild horse roundup in
northeastern Nevada” (“BLM Called Upon to Halt Wild Horse Roundups” 1).
4. “…an older mare collapsing after being stampeded for miles in a helicopter chase … steam
blowing from her nostrils…” (“BLM Called Upon to Halt Wild Horse Roundups 2).
5. “The BLM will ship captured Antelope Valley horses thousands of miles to Midwestern holding
facilities, at great cost to the taxpayers and the horses themselves” (“BLM Called Upon to Halt
Wild Horse Roundups” 2).
6. “… the herd will be left with a predominantly male sex ratio…” (“Foundation Demands BLM Call
Off Massive Winter Mustang Roundups” 1).
7. “Activists maintain that a colt was run also hard and long during the roundup that the hoof walls
on its two hind feet came off, leaving exposed bones and nerves. The colt was euthanized …”
(Griffith 1).
8. “…a mare fell down in a trailer after being driven for miles on the range by a helicopter… and
died a short time later” (Griffith 1).
9. “Of six horses that have died at the Fallon facility, five involved mares thought to have
experienced difficulty making the transition to hay feed” (Griffith 2).
10. “BLM is creating a paper trail of reports… that will render palatable conclusions for the agency”
(“American Wild Horse Preservation Campaign” 1).
11. “The Antelope Valley Complex roundup aims to remove more than 2,000 federally protected
wild horses from a 1.3 million acres public lands area leaving behind approximately 427 horses”
(“American Wild Horse Preservation Campaign” 1).
12. “These roundups scheduled by the BLM are costing taxpayers $40 million per year. The costs are
for the holding pens and the roundup removal process using helicopters and select cattle
ranchers…” (“American Wild Horse Preservation Campaign” 2).
13. “In Montana this will leave a non-viable herd of only 120 horses” (“Unprecedented” 2).
14. “…humane advocates are currently being prevented from observing this roundup”
(“Unprecedented” 2).
15. “Young foals, only days old, will be driven by helicopters and are in serious danger of being hurt
or killed” (“Unprecedented” 2).
16. “The horses have lived here for over 200 years” (“Unprecedented” 2).
17. “The range is still green in late August following three years of above average rain…”
(“Unprecedented” 2).
18. “The BLM plans to remove 17 horses over ten years old, and old, sick or lame horses shall be
destroyed” (“Unprecedented” 2).
19. “When they take out the old horses they remove the ones that know the way to water, the good
grass, the way around the canyon-they’re taking all the knowledge of the herd”
(“Unprecedented” 2).
20. “The BLM will destroy this unique little Spanish herd, leaving them well below the bare
minimum for genetic viability” (“Unprecedented” 3).
21. “[a contractor] rounded up protected American mustangs, and hauled them to a slaughter
house in Texas where they lost their lives” (“Unprecedented” 6).
22. “…newborn foals run to exhaustion, found hog tied and abandoned on the range, horses and
burros bleeding from the nostrils, broken legs …” (“Unprecedented” 6).
23. “…range damage is caused by privately-owned livestock, which outnumber horses more than
100 to one” (“Unprecedented” 9).
24. “Restore protections included in the 1971 ‘Wild Free-Roaming Horse and Burro Act’”
(“Unprecedented” 10).
25. “Last month at least 34 wild horses died or were euthanized during and after a forced roundup”
(Cohen 3).
26. “Many of the horses who died as a result of the roundup were forced by helicopters to run for
miles in extreme heat” (Cohen 3).
27. “There are currently more ‘wild’ horses in captive holding pens (awaiting slaughter trucks?) than
there are in the wild” (Cohen 6).
28. ‘…mares run so hard that they miscarry their foal or the foal is born too premature to survive”
(Cohen 6).
29. “The horses’ designated habitat has decreased by 30% since 1971” (Phillips 1).
30. “The BLM must round up at least 10,000 horses every year…” (Phillips 2).
31. “Horses are gelded; unique herds are wiped out…” (Phillips 5).
32. “Heavily pregnant mares had to run for miles chased by helicopters just a few feet from their
heads…” (Phillips 5).
33. “Ranchers and farmers want the land for their livestock, or the land is wanted for mining”
(Phillips 6).
34. “In California…the BLM is running wild horses and burros ten miles or more over rough volcanic
terrain with helicopters” (“BLM” 1).
35. “California has lost 16 of the original 38 wild horse herds” (“BLM” 1).
36. “Over 32,000 privately-owned cattle and sheep are permitted to graze annually on Twin Peaks
area” (“BLM” 1).
37. “Revenues generated yearly from livestock grazing fees are estimated at $120,000 … while the
cost of roundups is over $4 million” (“BLM” 1).
38. “At the end of the nineteenth century, there were two million wild horses ranging across
seventeen states” (Stillman 296).
39. “After Bush was elected president, wild horse roundups escalated ferociously” (Stillman 294).
40. “When the colts come in, they’re not worth anything because they’re so small. So they hit them
in the head and throw them in the gut pile” (Stillman 298).
41. “…they use a stun gun. Supposedly to kill them instantly. And this black stallion took six shots
and still did not go down…he got loose on the kill florr and they had to get a rifle…” (Stillman
299).
42. ‘The horse is our great silent witness” (Stillman 304).
43.