INT. FOUR DOOR SEDAN - LATE NIGHT
Three excited friends, MIKE, NEIL and LEAH are driving down the freeway in a 1990 Ford
Mercury. They are headed to one of their favorite restaurant on a Saturday Night.
NEIL
I’m starving.
MIKE
I’m not.
Mike and Neil look back to get Leah’s position on the matter but she panics, and stubs her toe.
LEAH
Oh no my toe.
MIKE
We’re going to need a doctor.
NEIL
10-4.
Neil stomps on the gas and veers off the road through a fence. The passengers are holding on and
the music is somehow louder. Neil sees a trailer that is set up like a ramp then looks to Mike, but
he’s to busy being instantly pregnant. He heads strait for the trailer and heads strait into a nice
two story house living room.
INT. LIVING ROOM - LATER
Mike, Neil and Leah are all looking around the car in amazement. They are clearly cut and
bruised but they do not seem to notice.
NEIL
This guy better be a toe doctor.
MIKE
Yep.
A 45 year old, OLD MALE in a housecoat walks into the room putting on his glasses.
OLDMAN
Holy buck nutter.
LEAH
You better fix my toe... Real quick.
MIKE
Yes.
OLDMAN
What?
NEIL
Listen Doc, we don’t have all day. Just fix my friend, give us your car, and we’re gone.
MIKE
Look at this guy, too rich to deal with us peons.
OLDMAN
What would make you think I was a Toe Doctor... Did you say you wanted my car... I’m calling
the police.
Leah is looking around the place.
LEAH
This looks like the house of a guy that fixes toes for a living.
MIKE
No doubt about it.
NEIL
Police, I am the police.
Neil takes out then throws his wallet to the Oldman.
OLDMAN
This says you’re a toe doctor.
NEIL
Do I look like a toe doctor to you?
MIKE
How hot is your under-aged daughter?
OLDMAN
No you don’t, I never said I had a daughter.
He sits there and thinks about whats going on here.
NEIL
How hot is your daughter.
OLDMAN
Please don’t hurt my baby.
LEAH
Hold on, nobody is going to get hurt here.
NEIL
Yeah we just think its sexy to hear fathers talk about how hot their daughters are.
MIKE
Yeah... is that illegal or something.
NEIL
You got insurance, right?
OLDMAN
Yeah, but I really don’t see how that applies here. I think we just...
LEAH
If you’re not going to help me then give us your car and make sure this is all cleaned up or we’re
going to call the police.
MIKE
And fifty bucks.
NEIL
Yeah, what he said, a thousand bucks.
The Oldman slowly goes into his front housecoat pocket.
LEAH
He’s got four guns!
They all cower behind the wreck. The Oldman pulls out keys and a wad of hundred dollar bills.
OLDMAN
Just get the fuck out of here.
The trio grab the money and keys then leave the room
EXT. HOUSE - LATER
The trio are walking down the steps toward the car.
NEIL
If he just would have admitted he was a toe doctor.
MIKE
I know right. Hows your toe Leah.
LEAH
Fine. Never really hurt.
NEIL
Yeah totally.
Neil hits the button to unlock the doors, the lights of a brand new vehicle flash a couple of times
and unlock. They all smile at one another and hop in.
INT. OLDMAN’S BEDROOM - LATER
As the Oldman shuts the door we see his wife curled up with the blankets at the head of the bed.
WIFE
What the hell was that noise honey.
The Oldman takes off his housecoat to reveal a t-shirt that reads on the back "#1 Toe Doctor".
OLDMAN
Nothing a little insurance won’t cure.
He gets into bed then kisses his wife and shuts his eyes. The wife turns off the lamp and goes to
sleep.
THE END