Chapter 3 Assignments In addition to the exercises below, your writing skills will be reinforced by your completion of Document Makeovers 2A and 2B. You will find these exercises in Course Content in their own learning module. This chapter stresses the need to collect information in order to compose effective messages. Your authors also place emphasis on how to compose effective sentences. The exercises are already typed for you. All you have to do is edit them and send your responses as a Word attachment through Blackboard mail. Based on a thorough reading of the material in Chapter 3, prepare the following: Pages 68-72: Sentence Type Here are the answers: 16: a 17: c 18: b 19: c 20: d 21: b Sentence Faults: Edit the following to improve their structure. 22: Because 90 percent of all business transactions involve written messages. Good writing skills are critical. 23: The recruiter requested a writing sample. Even though the candidate seemed to communicate well orally. 24: Major soft-drink companies considered a new pricing strategy, they tested vending machines that raise prices in hot weather. 25: Thirsty consumers may think that variable pricing is unfair they may also refuse to use the machine. 26: About half of Pizza Hut’s 7600 outlets make deliveries, the others concentrate on walk-n customers. 27: McDonald’s sold its chain of Chipotle Mexican Grill restaurants the chain’s share price doubled on the next day of trading. Active Voice: Business writing is more forceful if it uses active-voice verbs. Revise the following sentences so that verbs are in the active voice. Put the emphasis on the doer of the action. Examples: Passive: Antivirus software was installed by Craig on his computer. Active: Craig installed antivirus software on his computer. 37: Employees were given their checks at 4 p.m. very Friday by the manager. 38: New spices and cooking techniques were tried by McDonald’s to improve its hamburgers. 39: Our new company logo was designed by my boss. 40: The managers with the most productive departments were commended by the CEO. Passive Voice Rephrase the following sentences so that they are in the passive voice. 41: The auditor discovered a computational error in the company’s tax figures. 42: We cannot ship your order for ten monitors until June 15. 43: Stacy did not submit the accounting statement on time. 44. The Federal Trade Commission targeted deceptive diet advertisements by weight-loss marketers. Parallelism Revise the following sentences so that their parts are balanced. 45. To be hired, an applicant must be reliable, creative, and show enthusiasm. 46. If you have decided to cancel our service, please cut our service, please cut your credit card in half and the pieces should be returned to us. 47. Guidelines for improving security at food facilities include inspecting incoming and outgoing vehicles, restriction of access to laboratories, preventing workers from brining personal items into food handling areas, and inspection of packaging for signs of tampering. 48. The committee will continue to monitor merchandise design product quality and check the feedback of customers. 49. To use the fax copier, insert your meter, the paper trays must be loaded, indicate the number of copies needed, and your original sheet should be inserted through the feeder. 50. Sending an e-mail establishes a more permanent record than to make a telephone call. Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers Check this one out: Sired by the Royal Stallion, the Queen adored the new colt. In this case,, the Queen appears to have sired the colt, which is ridiculous!!!!! Be sure to read your sentences very carefully to make sure that the modifiers are placed correctly. Try a better answer here: Here is another example: Being cluttered and filthy, Alexandra took the afternoon to clean her desk. In this case, the problem appears to be that Alexandra is cluttered and filthy, which of course is not the case. Her desk is. Can you figure out how to solve the problem? Try your response here: 51. After leaving the midtown meeting, Angela’s car would not start. 52. Walking up the driveway, the Hummer parked in the garage was immediately spotted by the detectives. 53. To complete the project on time, a new deadline was established by the team. 54. Acting as manager, several new employees were hired by Mr. Lopez. 55. Michelle Mitchell presented a talk about workplace drug problems in our boardroom. Additional Writing Improvement Exercises ACTIVE-VOICE VERBS. Revise the following sentences so that verbs are in the active voice. Put the emphasis on the doer of the action. Add subjects if necessary. 56. A company credit card was used by the manager to purchase office supplies. 57. To protect students, laws were passed in many states that prohibited the use of social security numbers as identification. 58. Checks are processed more quickly by banks because of new regulations. 59. Millions of packages are scanned by FedEx every night as packages stream through its Memphis hub. PASSIVE-VOICE VERBS. When indirectness or tact is required, use passive-voice verbs. Revise the following sentences so that they are in the passive voice. Example Travis did not submit the proposal before the deadline. Revision The proposal was not submitted before the deadline. 60. Accounting seems to have made a serious error in this report. 61. We cannot ship your order for smart surge protectors until May 5. 62. The government first issued a warning regarding the use of this pesticide more than 15 months ago. 63. Your insurance policy does not automatically cover damage to rental cars. 64. We cannot provide patient care unless patients show proof of insurance. PARALLELISM. Revise the following sentences so that their parts are balanced. 65. (Hint: Match verbs.) To improve your listening skills, you should stop talking, your surroundings should be controlled, be listening for main points, and an open mind must be kept. 66. (Hint:Match active voice of verbs.) Paula Day, director of the Okefenokee branch, will now supervise all Eastern Division operations; the Western Division will be supervised by our Oroville branch director, Reggie Kostiz. 67. (Hint:Match verb phrases.) Our newly hired employee has started using the computer and to learn her coworkers’ names. 68. (Hint:Match adjectives.) Training seminars must be stimulating and a challenge. 69. Our new telecommunications software allows you to meet with customers over the Internet for training, Web-based meetings can be held, and other online collaboration within virtual teams is also facilitated. 70. We need more trained staff members, office space is limited, and the budget for overtime is much too small. 71. The application for a grant asks for this information: funds required for employee salaries, how much we expect to spend on equipment, and what is the length of the project. DANGLING AND MISPLACED MODIFIERS Revise to remedy dangling and misplaced modifiers. 72. By advertising extensively, all the open jobs were filled quickly. 73. To apply for early admission, applications must be submitted by October 1. 74. Identification passes must be worn at all times in offices and production facilities showing the employee’s picture. 75. The editor in chief’s rules were to be observed by all staff members, no matter how silly they seemed. 76. After being in the refrigerator for a week, Rachel said the salad tasted strange. 77. Using two search engines, the Web site was finally located. 78. Acting as committee chairman, many caterers were interviewed by Susan. USING TRANSITIONS TO FACILITATE COHERENCE. Revise the following paragraphs to improve coherence. Study the example and review the chapter. Be aware, however, that the transitional expressions and keywords selected depend largely on the emphasis desired. Many possible revisions exist. Example Computer style checkers rank somewhere between artificial intelligence and artificial ignorance. Style checkers are like clever children: smart but not wise. Business writers should be cautious. They should be aware of the usefulness of style checkers. They should know their limitations. Revision Computer style checkers rank somewhere between artificial intelligence and artificial ignorance. For example, they are like clever children: smart but not wise. For this reason, business writers should be cautious. Although they should be aware of the usefulness of these software programs, business writers should alsoknow their limitations. 79. Managers can avoid costly hiring mistakes with two techniques. They should write a solid job description. They should explain special job expectations during the hiring interview. Will the applicant be expected to travel? Are tight deadlines common? The manager should not frighten away applicants. 80. No one likes to turn out poor products. We began highlighting recurring problems. Employees make a special effort to be more careful in doing their work right the first time. It doesn’t have to be returned to them for corrections. 81. Service was less than perfect for many months. We lacked certain intangibles. We didn’t have the customer-specific data that we needed. We made the mistake of removing all localized, person-to-person coverage. We are returning to decentralized customer contacts.