Medieval Lady
Facts and interesting information about the Medieval Lady
“After I became a knight, I found great favor with my lord. In return for my bravery in battle, he
offered me his daughter, Katherine, for my wife. Katherine had a very large dowry of a castle,
land, money, and serfs; she was fair to look upon and had the usual womanly graces, so I
accepted. We have been married these seventeen years, and I have grown to love and respect her
very much. She takes care of the castle and the lands while I am away and ensures that
everything runs smoothly. During the day I run the estate, making sure that the serfs pay their
taxes and are taken care of. I also supervise the knightly training of the boys under my care. At
least once a week, I go hunting in the nearby forest, usually for deer. I spend some of the time
away from home fighting in wars for my lord. At night, Katherine and I play chess and checkers.
Katherine spends her day planning meals, weaving, doing embroidery, and instructing the girls
who are fostering with us in the arts of being a lady. She also entertains the neighbors and hunts
with me. Jacob, my oldest son, is learning to be a knight in the care of my lord, the Earl of
Wedgewick. Katherine and I are currently arranging a betrothal ceremony for our daughter,
Sarah. She is almost 12, and it's time we found a good husband to care for her. My younger
daughter, Amy, is fostering with her Aunt Elizabeth and learning to be a lady. Our youngest
child, Nicholas, will soon join his brother in knightly training.” – Anonymous Knight
Daily Life of a Medieval Lady
The Daily Life of a Medieval Lady followed a similar schedule to that of her lord. This might be
her husband, father or brother. The daily life of a Medieval Lady centered around Medieval
Castles or Medieval Manors. Much of her time was spent on overseeing the running of the
household. The daily life of a Medieval Lady can be described as follows:
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The daily life of a Medieval Lady started at dawn when Mass would be heard and prayers
would be made
A Medieval Lady would be served by her ladies in waiting. She would be assisted with
her dress for the day
The first meal of the day for the Lady was breakfast
The daily life of the Lady would include discussions on tournaments, betrothals,
marriages, poetry and courtly love
A Medieval Lady would be expected to oversee the education of the upper class girls
who had sent to their households
A Medieval Lady had to be able to take their husbands places at all times. The daily life
of a Medieval Lady would change if her husband was absent. She would be expected to
look after the finances of the manor or estates including the collection of rents. Supervise
the farming and settle all disputes
Mid morning prayers and a meal
In the afternoon the daily life of Noblewomen turned to housewifely duties including the
supervision of meals and ensuring stores were sufficient
Leisure time was spent on embroidery and dance practice
Evening prayer and then supper in the Hall of the Castle or Manor House
After supper there might be some entertainment - music, dancing, jugglers, acrobats,
Jesters, etc
Bedtime prayers
Girlhood
Girls were educated very differently from boys. They usually lived away from home, in a
monastery or another castle. There they were taught how to sew, read and write Latin, to sing,
and to do many other "feminine" practices. Girlhood did not last long. Some young girls were
engaged to men when they were as young as six or seven years old. Usually girls were married
by the time they were fourteen.
Marriage
Young noblewomen had little say in who they were married to or when they were
married. Marriage was used to seal political ties and obtain greater wealth by most people in the
upper classes. In exchange for a dowry, which usually consisted of a set amount of wealth, the
medieval lady got one third of her husband's estate when he died.
Members of the nobility almost never married for love. Marriages were arranged by the
parents of the couple, often when both were still small children. Occasionally the future groom
may have been able to choose his own bride, but his family had to approve of the girl. The two
families reached an agreement in which a dowry (a payment from the bride's family to the groom
or the groom's family to help offset the costs of matrimony) was settled and a wedding date was
proposed. The couple was now betrothed, similar to being engaged today.
The bride was almost always several years younger than the groom. Girls were
sometimes as young as 12, while their husbands were usually in their mid twenties or early
thirties, though the man was sometimes as old as 50.
This was often the first time the future husband and wife had ever met or talked to each
other for any length of time. Love was not a consideration in marriage, at least not at first. The
families of the couple wanted to be sure that the lands and valuables of the parents would be
passed into responsible hands and that the family of the other partner was respectable and of the
same social class.
The couple was married in a simple ceremony unlike the elaborate marriage ceremonies
today. The actual ceremony differed from place to place. In the early part of the Middle Ages,
the Church was not very involved in the marriage ceremony, and it was usually conducted at
home with several witnesses present. Over the course of the Middle Ages, the Church became
more involved in the marriage ceremony. By the end of the period, a Christian marriage
ceremony almost always accompanied a wedding.
Once the wedding was over, married life began. It was undoubtedly awkward for both the
husband and the wife until they got to know each other better. Mutual friendship and respect
eventually developed among most married people and sometimes the partners also grew to love
each other.
The man was the head of the household in the Middle Ages and the wife was legally his
property. A husband was allowed to beat his wife, as long as she did not die. Husbands had
complete control over all of their wife's belongings and any other property that was owned by the
family. The husband had the final say in all matters. However, many husbands asked for and
heeded the advice of their wives. Often, the husband would often be gone on business trips or
away at war for a good portion of the time, leaving the wife in charge of the household. In this
way, women gained a previously unheard of amount of freedom.
However, marriage was not always good for a woman. When she was married, she was
said "to come under the rod". This meant that she had virtually no rights. She could not sue,
appear in court, make a will, or do many other things that women today take for granted. Before
she could do these things she had to get the consent of her husband. Once her husband died, she
regained most of these rights.
Divorce
Husbands were allowed to divorce their wives for many reasons, the most popular being
adultery. Wives, on the other hand, could not divorce there husbands. Towards the end of the
Middle Ages this changed slightly. Wives were allowed to divorce husbands convicted of certain
crimes or who were away on a long campaign of warfare.
Childrearing
Usually a woman had all her children by the time she was twenty. Giving birth was very
dangerous and many women did not survive the process. Once the child was born, the lady either
nursed it herself, or she would hire a wet nurse to do the task. The lady was also in charge of the
servants who took care of the children.
Duties
Besides caring for the children, the medieval lady also had many other duties. Ladies also
generally were in charge of the castle's kitchen and meals. She oversaw the cooks and often kept
accounts and made menus for it. She was in charge of entertaining guests that arrived at the
castle. Additionally, she was often put in charge of the castle in the lord's absence. Ladies
generally proved quite adept at managing the castle's affairs when the lord was gone. In times of
crisis, ladies also took over jobs that a man usually filled. Sometimes they defended their castles
against sieges or led armies on the battlefield. A lady named Matilda, William the Conqueror's
grand-daughter, led an army against Stephen of Blois and won a few battles.
Possessions
Medieval ladies generally radiated wealth and status. They owned expensive clothes
made with exotic material that followed the latest fashion. They also wore jewelry of gold or
silver with jewels embedded in them. They spread perfume around their rooms and their bodies
to ward off foul smells. Sometimes, they had their own bedroom in the castle.
Entertainment
Ladies did many different things for fun. Unlike men, ladies didn't usually attend a boar
or deer hunt. However, they often enjoyed hunting with trained falcons. Another outdoor activity
was going on picnics. Sometimes picnics and falconry were combined. They also liked to play
board games such as chess.
Sources:
http://www.medieval-life-and-times.info/medieval-life/medieval-lady.htm
http://library.thinkquest.org/10949/fief/medlady.html
http://www.mnsu.edu/emuseum/history/middleages/nlife.html
http://www.kyrene.k12.az.us/schools/Brisas/sunda/ma/1wendy.htm
Questions:
1. Explain marriage in the Middle Ages.
2. Use your own words to explain the major duties of a lady from childhood to adulthood.
3. Which section of “Medieval Lady” did you find most interesting? Explain.
4. Compare what you learned about knight-hood to what you have read about lady-hood.
Which sounds more appealing? Explain your answer.