Issues and Reasons in Divorce
Case Study- by Serge Uwayo
Divorce is defined as any formal separation of husband and wife according to established
laws in the United States. Divorce is not a rare thing to happen in today’s society because it has
been made easier to happen. With divorce come many issues like who gets custody of the kids,
who gets ownership of property, and how finances are distributed. Many people mainly focus on
splitting finances and property, because money is the key ingredient for starting a new life. It is
commonly assumed that the mother gets custody of the children and the finances and property
are split equally.
There are many reasons why divorces occur. The first reason for divorce is inconsolable
conflicts between the partners. Every relationship has its struggle and conflicts but in some
marriages conflicts reach an overwhelming level until one or both of the individuals cannot take
it anymore. Usually conflicts and fights go on for years until the couple realize that they want to
split. Divorces caused by conflicts could end up in a very bad way.
Another reason for divorce is the loss of intimacy in the relationship. When couples have
been together for a long time, some may tend to lose attraction for each if the factor of attraction
goes away. This can especially happen if the husband and wife are very busy with their
professional matters and don’t get a lot of time to spend with each other. For example if a couple
married each other because of a strong physical attraction and if physicality is lost in the
relationship due to lack of time, their bond can be lost really fast. Usually the couple will try to
find alternative ways to satisfy themselves. Divorces caused by to loss of intimacy are usually
less of a heart ache than the ones caused by conflict because in the divorces caused by conflicts
remnants of love and attraction could still remain.
Lack of commitment is another reason for divorce, especially among young couples.
Usually some couples get married in a rush without fully knowing each other. These couples end
up in many situations where they cheat or lie or are unable to fulfill commitments to their
partner. This is a very common phenomenon in celebrity relationships. In most cases the lack of
commitment comes from the male partner. All these reasons could lead to infidelity. Although
most people consider infidelity as a cause of divorce, it might actually be a consequence of
underlying reasons presented above.
There are several other reasons for divorce such as lack of communication and significant
differences. Communication is very important in marriage, especially when making big
decisions. Lack of it could lead to divorce. Difference in religious/ spiritual views is very
important to a lot of people in society. Marriages where couples have different religious views
could end in divorce when the views clash causing the couple to end up in huge arguments.
Parents may also have different views when it comes to deciding what faith the children should
be brought up in. Another reason is prioritization of different life goals. When husband and wife
have different goals for which they would sacrifice anything, the marriage can become
compromised. This can happen in most cases if people prioritize their careers or professional
lives over marriage. If both people are strongly focused on different life goals marriage can
become a burden or barrier on the way.
1. Questions
1. In your opinion what are the main reasons for divorce?
2. How should the custody of children be decided in a divorce case?
3. How will divorce affect the children?
4. What can couples do to try and avoid divorce?
2. Additional Material
While answering the questions consider the following criteria. If the divorcing couple
have very young children, the children may not know what is going on or may not have a say in
who they would end up living with. For older children they may be able to decide where and
who they want to go live with. Also consider whether financial stability should be a factor when
deciding custody as bringing up children requires money and if the parent given custody cannot
provide for the children the children might suffer. Another factor to consider is the mental and
physical health of parents or other habits such as smoking and alcohol use. Divorce causes a lot
of stress which could lead to such things as depression, alcohol, and drug abuse. If an individual
has such problems it would not be a good idea to put the children in their hands. Homosexual
divorces present additional problems, if the partners did not adopt the child but instead actually
had a process in which the child was born through them, you should take into consideration
whose egg or sperm was used to create the baby. There are many other important matters such as
deciding how and when children spend time with each parent or how and when one parent would
visit the children if the custody is given to the other parent.
3. Additional Questions
1. How does which parent they grow up with affect the children?
2. How does divorces affect community as a whole?