EQPD – Emotional Intelligence Personal Development
How Brains Work –
Understanding Your Brain Helps To Control It
(Reading time: 5 minutes)
“Neuroscience provides us with language and tools we’ve never had before.”
How Did My Brain Evolve
David Rock is a neuroscientist who has spent decades studying how our brains evolved and using this
information to help us make best use of them today. His research provides some startling conclusions
about how we can better manage and regulate ourselves by understanding our brains.
Rock’s research suggests that our preoccupation with the rational part of our brain, the pre frontal
cortex (PFC), has distracted us from the real engine rooms of the brain which were developed much
earlier in evolutionary terms, especially the limbic system which manages our emotions.
In simple terms Rock’s research, along with that of many others has shown our brains really have only
two switches. Our brains are always in either a threat model, or a reward model. Unfortunately,
because we have been hard wired to survive we tend to operate in the threat mode more than reward
mode.
Reward Mode
Anytime we are in reward mode we move toward things, if we believe something or someone in our
environment may provide benefit for us specific areas in our brain light up, releasing important
neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin and other chemicals and hormones. This helps us bond
to others and create relationships which help and reward us. Probably the easiest example is when
you fall in love, your brain releases all sorts of chemicals to give you extra energy and a strong desire to
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EQPD – Emotional Intelligence Personal Development
connect, while your brain is simultaneously dampening down any differences that might be present so
that they are not even noticed.
Threat Mode
Anytime we are threatened, physically or psychologically, we move to threat mode, unfortunately we
operate in threat mode much more than reward mode. Rock’s research shows a different area of the
brain lights up when we are in threat mode, producing different brain chemicals, cortisol and
epinephrine for example, that prepare us for a fight or flight response. Back in our hunter-gatherer
days this was very helpful to keep us alive so our brains tend to be biased to this mode, it was an
evolutionary adaptation. Importantly we don’t use our prefrontal cortex to manage these situations
because our brains had to evolve to make snap decisions that could literally be life or death defining.
Old Brains Modern World
Evolution is slow but our world has changed fast. The benefits of a bias to threat mode are no longer
obvious but our brains haven’t caught up yet. Rock points out the exactly the same brain centers (in
an old part of our brain - the hypothalamus) are activated when we are threatened physically or
psychologically. This means our fight or flight response can be easily triggered in a meeting at work,
when your partner criticizes you, or you are cut off in traffic. Obviously we no longer need to fight or
flee in these situations but our brains don’t realize this.
When we feel this threat chemicals are produced and all the blood leaves our head and moves to our
arms and legs in readiness to fight or flee. This is particularly unhelpful in meeting or discussion with
someone because what we really want to do is use our brains in these situations, not our bodies to
solve whatever disagreement might have occurred.
How To Control Your Fight or Flight Response
Fortunately Rock’s research gives us some simple ways to better manage our emotions when we’re in
threat mode. The key he says is understanding more about how your brain works, by knowing how the
brain is triggered you can more easily sit back dispassionately and just watch what is going on. This
can reduce the threat chemicals being activated in your brain and keep the blood there to help you
think:
1. Name the Emotion - Simply naming the emotion you are having can help you control it. By being
able to recognise you are angry, anxious, tired or hungry you immediately give the emotion less
power.
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EQPD – Emotional Intelligence Personal Development
2. Acknowledge the Source – Link the emotion to its trigger point. For example when you are sitting
in a meeting and your boss flies off the handle about a relatively insignificant event you could say
to yourself: “I’m feeling threatened in this situation because my boss is angry and he has more
power than I do in this environment”.
3. Re-frame the Situation – Try to find another way to look at the situation. You could say to
yourself: “I’m feeling threatened in this situation because my boss is angry, this is a great chance
for me to practice staying calm and not over reacting, I will let him be the one to look silly here”
4. Remain Mindful and Aware of the present moment – Observe yourself emotions, detach from
them. If we can be observers of our own minds, allowing the thoughts and feelings we have to
simply come and go without attaching ourselves to them, these thoughts and feelings have less
power over us.
The key to all these strategies is to understand how your brain is working. Acknowledge you are in
threat mode, remember this used to be helpful when being chased by lions, but is less so today.
Realise that the thoughts and feelings you are having are really just trying to keep you safe, but also
remember that you are not these thoughts and feelings, these ones will go soon, only to be replaced
by others. All these strategies work to give you back power over your brain, reducing the intensity of
feelings you have, returning the blood to your head and away from your arms and legs by allowing you
to consciously recognise you are not in imminent danger.
David Rock’s SCARF Model
Want to know more? David Rock has developed his SCARF Model to describe what we need as
individuals to feel safe, comfortable and in a position to take up the rewards and opportunities life has
to offer. For an excellent short video where David explains this click here: David Rock - The SCARF
Model of Influencing People
Rock’s research suggests that there are five key factors crucial to feeling safe enough to explore our
environment and relationships for rewards and opportunities. When any of these factors are
negatively impacted it is like to create a threat response in us, closing down these opportunities.
SCARF
Reward
Threat
Being praised, beating a personal best or
feeling we have positively contributed
Being given directions, performance
managed or criticised
Certainty
Being certain about what is likely to
happen, clear steps being followed
When people act incongruently or you
don’t know the expectations of others
Autonomy
When we feel in control and can make our
own decisions
Being we are told how to act, being
micro-managed, or controlled
Relatedness
When we direct our own learning, or ask
for help from friends we feel empowered
Meeting unknown people, having to
interact with in new cultures
When things are transparent and clear and
we see others being treated just like us
When there are no clear ground rules or
expectations
Status
Fairness
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EQPD – Emotional Intelligence Personal Development
References
Rock, D. (2008). SCARF: A brain-based model for collaborating with and influencing others.
NeuroLeadership Journal, 1, 44–52.
Rock, D., & Cox, C. (2012). SCARF in 2012: Updating the social neuroscience of collaborating with
others. NeuroLeadership Journal, 4, in press.
Rock, D., Siegel, D., Poelmans, S.A.Y., & Payne, J. (2012). The Healthy Mind Platter. NeuroLeadership
Journal, 4, in press.
Rock, D., & Tang, Y. (2009). Neuroscience of engagement. NeuroLeadership Journal, 2, 15–22.
Nich Rogers – Personal Development Coaching
EQPersonalDevelopment.com.au