Some Notes on
Writing
From the UNB Writing Centre
Topics
1. Structure: IMRaD & More
2. Bugbears, Diction, & Wordiness
3. Sentence Length & Coherence
4. Passive Voice
5. Limits of Self-Editing
Structure
O Outlines:
O A formal plan serving as your guide to your
thought
O Writing it out externalizes it
O Your own familiarity with your thought may
blind you to your lack of a clear structure
O Try not to rely on “blind writing”
Structure
IMRaD
O Introduction,
O Methods,
O Results, and
O Discussion.
Introduction
1. What we know (lit. review)
2. What we don’t know (hypothesis)
3. What we did
Literature Review
O shows your understanding of the field
O review the best studies available (most
rigorously designed & executed)
O avoid the temptation to include everything
you reviewed (no matter how troublesome it
was)
Hypothesis/Research
Question
O the FIRST and LAST sentence you will write
O sums up the whole point of the paper
“We determined the relative
effectiveness of three exercise
regimens in promoting health and
fitness.”
Hypothesis/Research
Question
O Later in the process you may find it useful to
add details. . . .
“We determined the relative
effectiveness of three exercise
regimens, intense interval training,
prolonged exercise, and strength
training, in promoting health and
fitness.”
Hypothesis/Research
Question
O So that the final version of your research
statement or question—the last sentence
you write—is significantly different.
“We determined the relative
effectiveness of three exercise
regimens, intense interval training,
prolonged exercise, and strength
training, in improving cardiorespiratory
fitness, reducing body fat, and
increasing total bone mass.”
Methods
O details of what you did
O study design, participants, methods, data
analysis
O should only include details necessary for
readers to judge your work/repeat your
experiment
Results
O easy part: the key findings
O again: avoid the temptation of presenting
everything
O focus on the general in the text and the
specifics in the data tables
Discussion
O be open about limitations, inconsistencies
O never draw unjustified conclusions
O use appropriate validity markers
Validity Markers
a.
b.
c.
hedges: perhaps, may, might, often,
usually, apparently, seemingly
emphatics (boosters): clearly, undoubtedly,
it is obvious that, of course
attributors: “according to Wilson (1999)”
2. Bugbears,
Diction, &
Wordiness
(illus. Sir John Tenniel, Alice in
Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll.)
What Are Bugbears?
O Grammatical howlers, frequently merely
conventional or formal errors
O Many do not impair the effectiveness of the
communication
O How important are they?
Although high intensity interval
training was suppose to increase
bone density as well as VO2 max, it
failed in this respect.
Grammatical Bugbears
O Cannot be ignored (“use to,” “should of,” “in
regards to”)
O Will always overshadow genuine
achievement to some degree
O Technology cannot yet save us--
MS Word May Not Help!
Diction
O Writing Apprenticeship: expansiveness and
dilation have been emphasized over
precision and economy
It is time to choose
O The right words and
O Words your audience knows.
Novelty & Vocabulary
O “make it new” is not the always best advice
for selecting words
O Accuracy and familiarity (of individual words,
not phrases) are crucial
O The evil comes from overly familiar phrases
and unnecessarily obscure words
Complex Diction
O What do people REALLY think of overly
complex diction?
Consequences of Erudite
O
D. Oppenheimer,Utilized
Stanford U (2003):
Vernacular
O people who use unnecessarily complicated
Irrespective
of Necessity:
language are viewed
as less intelligent than
people who use more familiar language
Problems With Using
Long Words Needlessly
Ready-Made Phrases
O Like Frankenstein's monster, "ready-made"
writing is stitched together out of dead
parts.
O Avoid phrases that “sound appropriate”
O Use only words you need—and your
audience understands
Basic Inflation
•
•
•
•
•
•
Based on the fact that
Due to the fact that
Exhibit a tendency to
For the purpose of
For the reason that
In spite of the fact
that
Because
Because
Tend to
For
Because
Although
Other Types of Repetition
Redundant Adjectives/Adverbs
O future plans
O consensus of opinion
O especially unique
O potential hazard
O final outcome
Nominalizations
allocation
allocate
assessment
assess
compliance
comply
determination
determine
expectations
expect
exposure
expose
[had] hopes [of]
hoped
Positive Advice
O Find the VERB in the nominalization, and
build the sentence around it
O Strong verbs make clear sentences
Where Does It Come From?
O Most of these choices are the result of
“length anxiety”
O From early grades, length is the measure of
achievement
O Students learn to pad—to be honest, we
teach them—and the habit becomes
engrained
O Editors then try to take it all out again
3. Sentence Length &
Coherence
O Writers are taught to vary the form and
O
O
O
O
length of their sentences
Length in the wrong place is dangerous
Proceed with caution
Selecting length with a clear purpose is one
challenge
Coherence is another
What Length Means
LENGTH
8 words
11 words
14 words
17-19 words
21-24 words
25-28 words
29+ words
QUALITY
very easy
easy
fairly easy
standard
fairly difficult
difficult
very difficult
Long, Graceful Sentences
O A long sentence can still be readable
O Key tactic: Move from subject to verb quickly
O Avoid delaying the subject-verb progression
with long intervening elements
O A sentence which moves from subject to
verb rapidly will still be readable even when
it is quite long
To the Subject and Beyond
Inferring from behavior the existence and
nature of underlying but not observable
mechanisms that mediate that behavior is for
the cognitive behaviorist the fundamental
research goal.
17-word
subject—in a
26-word
sentence !
To the Subject and Beyond
The fundamental research goal of the
cognitive behaviorist is inferring the existence
and nature of underlying but not observable
mechanisms that mediate behavior.
8-word
subject—in a
23-word
sentence !
To the Subject and Beyond
Cognitive behaviorists infer the existence and
nature of underlying but not observable
mechanisms that mediate behavior.
Better: a 2word subject—
in a 16-word
sentence !
Developing a Feel for Length
O More gradual variations in length are
possible
O Increasing length can build to the climax of
an argument
O Length should always develop from the
rhetorical goal
O Never introduce variety for the sake of
variety
4. Passive Voice
O “There are several observations that could
be made. . . .”
O “It has been suggested that. . . .”
Passive voice
O Generally misunderstood, by Strunk & White
among others
O Passive verb construction:
Object of
transitive
verb
“to be”
Past
participle
Preposition + Subject
of transitive verb
Passive voice
O Generally misunderstood, by Stunk & White
among others
O Passive verb construction:
The man
was
bitten
By the dog
Passive voice
O Generally misunderstood, by Stunk & White
among others
O Passive verb construction:
The test
was
written
by 30 students.
Expletives & Fog
O It has been repeatedly asserted that. . . .
O There are significant obstacles to the further
investigation of. . . .
O “it” and “there” have no antecedents; they
are “expletives” rather than pronouns
Editing & Memory
• Let’s test yours
Memorabilia
5. Why You Are Your Own
Worst Editor
O We see what we expect to see;
O We interpret as we read;
O At the same time, we know
communication is robust—and so we
are sometimes careless
How Robust?
There was nothing wrong with
her way of handling the car;
its engine was defective
They're as nothing wring wither
way of handing the care; its
engine was deflective.
Word: No Help Here
General Principles
O Keep track of your purpose and test each
paragraph and sentence against it
O Keep your audience in mind and write for
them, not at them
O Critique your own writing in relation to that
purpose and audience
O Have someone else read your writing
Five Revision Rules
Stick to the point
O delete any irrelevant information, however
interesting
O you may be able to place it in the appendix
O removing extra information makes what
remains clearer
1.
2. Say what you mean
O reading out loud helps
O having another person read it helps more
O never repeat a phrase you have read
elsewhere unless you understand it
thoroughly (the other writer may be wrong)
3. Keep forward momentum
O repeat key words as necessary so that a
clear argument develops
O use appropriate connectives to ensure clear
progress (example)
Identify the connectives
In saturated air (100% relative humidity), the worms
lost about 20% of their initial body weight during the
first 20 hours but were then able to prevent further
dehydration. In contrast, worms maintained in air of
70-80% relative humidity experienced a much faster
rate of dehydration, losing 63% of their total body
water content in 24 hours. As a consequence of this
rapid dehydration, most worms died within the 24hour period.
In saturated air (100% relative humidity), the worms
lost about 20% of their initial body weight during the
first 20 hours but were then able to prevent further
dehydration. In contrast, worms maintained in air of
70-80% relative humidity experienced a much faster
rate of dehydration, losing 63% of their total body
water content in 24 hours. As a consequence of this
rapid dehydration, most worms died within the 24hour period.
4. Indicate interpretations
O Signal all interpretations clearly
The difference in absorption rates is
evident in Table 1.
What IS the difference?
4. Indicate interpretations
O Signal all interpretations clearly
Clearly, alcohol is more readily absorbed
into the bloodstream from distilled, rather
than brewed, beverages (Table 1).
5. Avoid overlap &
repetition
O Be concise. . . .
Our results were based on observations
of short-term changes in behavior. These
results showed that feeding rates did not
vary with the size of the caterpillar.
5. Avoid overlap &
repetition
O Be concise. . . .
Our observations of short-term changes
in behavior indicate that feeding rates did
not vary with the size of the caterpillar.
5. Avoid overlap &
repetition
O Be concise. . . .
Feeding rates did not appear to vary with
the size of the caterpillar (Table 2).
6. Bonus Rule: Make Backups!
O Most common error: saving OVER existing
document
O Difficult to reverse
O Practice saving with a new name so this
never happens
Slideshow (and More)
go.unb.ca/wss