EAP Tips Essay Portion 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. You will need: Your Rochester essay (or a sample essay if you did not complete an essay) your EAP rubric (this is inside your yellow course syllabus) A pen or pencil A highlighter A dry erase marker Optional: An extra sheet of paper Tips will be in Red! • Copy those down in the space provided. Tip # 1 • The very first sentences you write should show understanding of the author’s argument. Let’s review the prompt. “Two-thirds of adolescent and adult Americans drink alcohol, and of those, 8 to 12 percent will become alcoholics or problem drinkers. To combat this huge public-health crisis, we should begin a national system of licensing, with appropriate penalties. Applicants for a drinking license would first be required to study a manual containing basic information about alcohol and the law, much like the driver’s manual we all memorized in high school. Next they would have to pass a written test, after which they would receive a drinking license. License holders, and only license holders, would then be able to buy alcoholic beverages (including beer). Most of the problem drinkers would, at some point, probably face arrest on alcohol-related offenses. If convicted, they would lose their license. A liquor store or bar caught selling to an unlicensed drinker would lose its license as well.” —Earl Rochester Explain Rochester’s argument and discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with his analysis. Support your position, providing reasons and examples from your own experience, observations, or reading. Sample student intro paragraph showing understanding of the author’s argument. Rochester states “8 to 12 percent of adolescent and adult American drinkers may become alcoholics.” but drives the situation too far by explaining the “national system of licensing.” Rochester is insisting American citizens get a license to drink like we have to drive. We would have to study the “drinkers handbook” to obtain the license and if you don’t have it, you can’t drink, purchase, or conceal alcoholic beverages. I think Rochester is mistaken because he overlooks…. Brought to you by # 11, period 2. Self Reflection for tip # 1 • Reread your essay-did you show understanding of the prompt in your intro paragraph? Cite your sentence #’s. Tip 2 •Take a stance! In your thesis state, whether you agree or disagree. It’s okay to use “I” Sample thesis statements • I disagree with his analysis of this crisis because if we start having a license for drinking, then there might as well be a license for smoking and other things that Americans get addicted to or are already addicted to. Brought to you by #5, period 6 Self Reflection for tip # 2 • Reread your intro. Did you take a stance in your thesis statement in your introductory paragraph? Copy your thesis statement in the space provided. If you don’t have a thesis statement, write one now. Tip # 3 •Join the National conversation! Insert your own observations with those of others. •You can cite books, celebrities, movies, politicians, etc. Sample essay showing how the writer “ joined” the national conversation. • An alcohol license may set back some alcohol-related issues, but they would not cease. Officers would be focusing on finding and arresting unlicensed drinkers and providers, instead of spending time catching people who are committing far worse crimes such as robbery, assault, vandalism, drug dealing, etc. Jails would immediately become crowded with people who are fairly innocent compared to actual criminals. Brought to you by #27, period 2 Self Reflection for tip # 3 • Reread your essay-Did you “join the national conversation” by using examples from personal experiences? Observations? And readings? Highlight your examples. Tip 4 • Spend at least 1 paragraph challenging the author’s “wording”. • Choose a loaded word or phrase and analyze the fairness of using these words to support his or her arguments and claims.. Let’s practice with the following prompt. List words or phrases that you might challenge. “Two-thirds of adolescent and adult Americans drink alcohol, and of those, 8 to 12 percent will become alcoholics or problem drinkers. To combat this huge public-health crisis, we should begin a national system of licensing, with appropriate penalties. Applicants for a drinking license would first be required to study a manual containing basic information about alcohol and the law, much like the driver’s manual we all memorized in high school. Next they would have to pass a written test, after which they would receive a drinking license. License holders, and only license holders, would then be able to buy alcoholic beverages (including beer). Most of the problem drinkers would, at some point, probably face arrest on alcohol-related offenses. If convicted, they would lose their license. A liquor store or bar caught selling to an unlicensed drinker would lose its license as well.” —Earl Rochester Explain Rochester’s argument and discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with his analysis. Support your position, providing reasons and examples from your own experience, observations, or reading. Let’s practice with the following prompt. List words or phrases that you might challenge. “Two-thirds of adolescent and adult Americans drink alcohol, and of those, 8 to 12 percent will become alcoholics or problem drinkers. To combat this huge public-health crisis, we should begin a national system of licensing, with appropriate penalties. Applicants for a drinking license would first be required to study a manual containing basic information about alcohol and the law, much like the driver’s manual we all memorized in high school. Next they it really a “huge wouldIshave to pass a written test, after which they would receive a drinking crisis”? license. License holders, and only license holders, would then be able to buy alcoholic beverages (including beer). Most of the problem drinkers would, at some point, probably face arrest on alcohol-related offenses. If convicted, they would lose their license. A liquor store or bar caught selling to an unlicensed drinker would lose its license as well.” —Earl Rochester Explain Rochester’s argument and discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with his analysis. Support your position, providing reasons and examples from your own experience, observations, or reading. Sample essay showing how the writer “challenged” loaded words and phrases. The word or phrase from the prompt The challenging of that word or phrase 8-12 percent “Even though there is that 8-12 percent that have problems, most people are still responsible enough to know when to stop or bring a friend with them to take care of them…For the 8-12 percent of alcoholics and problem drinkers, there are rehabs and companies that will help you to fix that problem” Brought to you by #202 Test Brought to you by #226 “How would a test make sure that person is a responsible drinker? They may just lie on their answer to obtain a license. It’s not like the test would detect you lying or not. “ Self Reflection for tip # 4 • Reread your essay-Did you “challenge the author’s use of loaded words and phrases”? Circle your sentences where you did so. If you did not, what word or phrase could you challenge if you had to rewrite this essay? Tip 5 • Refer to the author’s argument in each paragraph!!! • Quote or paraphrase a part of the prompt and relate it to the rest of the body paragraph. Sample sentences where the writer referred to the author’s argument in the body paragraph. • First, Rochester thinks that there should be a license testing for smokers as well. (BP # 1) Brought to you by #5-6 • Although Rochester makes a valid point of having a drinking license to regulate how much you drink, he overlooks the possibility of illegal selling of alcohol. (BP #2) Brought to you by #26-2 Self Reflection for tip # 5 • Reread your essay. Did you quote or paraphrase the author’s argument in each body paragraph? Underline the quotes and paraphrases in your essay. Tip 6 • Analysis over writing proficiency!!! Tip 7 Sound smart-use a template • TEMPLATES FOR ESTABLISHING WHY YOUR CLAIMS MATTER • X matters/ is important because ________________. • Although X may seem trivial, it is in fact crucial in terms of today`s concern over ________________. • Ultimately, what is at stake here is ________________. • These findings have important consequences for the broader domain of ________________. • My discussion of X is in fact addressing the larger matter of ________________. • These conclusions/ This discovery will have significant applications in ________________ as well as in ________________. • Although X may seem of concern to only a small group of Sample student essay using a template. • I`m of two minds about X`s claim that ________________. On the one hand, I agree that ________________. On the other hand, I`m not sure if ________________. Brought to you by #36, period 2 • I am of two minds about Rochester’s claim that a drinking license could solve this “huge public-health crisis.” On the one hand, I agree that it is a great idea that people that have proven to be responsible with alcohol can own a drinking license. On the other hand, it could be very easy for someone with a drinking license to buy alcohol for someone without one. Self Reflection for tip #7 • Reread your essay. Did you use a template? Using the new list of templates on the back of your handout, try using a template you have not used before. Want to finish in time? 45-55 minutes • Dissect-2 minutes to read and dissect the prompt • Brainstorm-3-10 minutes • Thesis-1 minute to create a rough thesis • Outline-5 minutes to outline • Write-25-35 • Revise-2-5 minutes On Monday, you will write another essay . Please use the 7 tips to help you write a better essay. • TOPIC III: "Recently, major tobacco companies agreed to pay a financial settlement to several states, including California, for health problems caused by cigarette smoking and other kinds of tobacco addiction. If this course of action is right for tobacco companies, then manufacturers of other legal but harmful products such as alcohol and guns should also have to pay financial settlements in return for the problems they cause." --Irving Coffman • Explain Coffman's argument and discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with his analysis. Support your position, providing reasons and examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.