For dads and moms, are you hesitant or are you
intentional in disciplining your child/ren?
If we fail to discipline our child/ren, what do we
rob from him/her/them?
For us children, what comes to mind when you
hear the word ‘discipline’?
Session III
HOW TO DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILDREN
EFFECTIVELY
1. Purpose of Discipline
2. The Basis of Discipline
3. What to Discipline Our Child For
4. How to Spank Our Child
5. Training Teenagers
6. Training Young Ones
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go,
Even when he is old he will not depart
from it.
The Hebrew word for training is
“chanak” which means ‘to wet the palate
of the baby’. The idea is to create a
desire to suck. Another usage of the
word is to tame or redirect the will of the
wild horse to submit to the master.
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
• Biblical training is not breaking the spirit
of the child but molding the will of the
child.
• Biblical training stimulates a desire in
our children to know God.
• Biblical training teaches them to be
obedient to authority, first to us as their
parents, then to others in authority, and
ultimately to God.
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
I. PURPOSE OF DISCIPLINE
1. Reinforce TRAINING.
Proverbs 22:6 – 6Train up a child in the way
he should go, Even when he is old he will not
depart from it.
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
I. PURPOSE OF DISCIPLINE
2. Reinforce OBEDIENCE.
Ephesians 6:1 – 1 Children, obey your parents
in the Lord, for this is right.
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
I. PURPOSE OF DISCIPLINE
3. Reinforce RESPECT.
Ephesians 6:2 – 2 Honor your father and
mother (which is the first commandment with
a promise).
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
I. PURPOSE OF DISCIPLINE
4. Reinforce BLESSING.
Ephesians 6:3 – 3that it may be well with you,
and that you may live long on the earth.
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
I. PURPOSE OF DISCIPLINE
1. Reinforce TRAINING.
2. Reinforce OBEDIENCE.
3. Reinforce RESPECT.
4. Reinforce BLESSING.
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
II. THE BASIS OF DISCIPLINE
1. It is based on PARENT-CHILD
relationship.
Hebrews 12:7 – 7It is for discipline that you
endure; God deals with you as with sons; for
what son is there whom his father does not
discipline?
• Responsibility of parents is to DISCIPLINE.
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
II. THE BASIS OF DISCIPLINE
2. It is based on LOVE.
Hebrews 12:6 – 6For those whom the Lord
loves He disciplines, And He scourges every
son whom He receives.
Proverbs 13:24 – 24He who spares the rod
hates his son, but he who loves him is careful
to discipline him.
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
II. THE BASIS OF DISCIPLINE
a. Discipline without good relationship
leads to frustration.
b. Love without discipline leads to
ANARCHY.
c. Discipline without love leads to
REBELLION.
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
II. THE BASIS OF DISCIPLINE
d. Love plus DISCIPLINE leads to
GODLY CHARACTER.
e. We earn the RIGHT to discipline our
children when they feel loved.
f. Love fills a person’s “EMOTIONAL
TANK”.
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
II. THE BASIS OF DISCIPLINE
3. It is for the child’s GOOD.
Hebrews 12:10-11 – 10For they disciplined us
for a short time as seemed best to them, but
He disciplines us for our good, so that we may
share His holiness. 11All discipline for the
moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful;
yet to those who have been trained by it,
afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of
righteousness.
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
II. THE BASIS OF DISCIPLINE
3. It is for the child’s GOOD.
Proverbs 19:18 – 18Discipline your son while
there is hope, And do not desire his death.
• If we discipline, it should always be for the
child’s ______
GOOD and never just to vent our
_______
ANGER or for ________
SELFISH reasons.
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
II. BASIS OF DISCIPLINE
1. It is based on PARENT-CHILD
RELATIONSHIP.
2. It is based on LOVE.
3. It is for the CHILD’S GOOD.
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
III. WHAT DO YOU DISCIPLINE YOUR
CHILD FOR?
Ephesians 6:1-3 – 1Children, obey your
parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2Honor
your father and mother (which is the first
commandment with a promise), 3so that it
may be well with you, and that you may live
long on the earth.
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
III. WHAT DO YOU DISCIPLINE YOUR
CHILD FOR?
1. DISOBEDIENCE.
You cannot begin to train your children
until they know how to OBEY. This is
foundational in training. Obedience to
parents and obedience to God are
closely linked.
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
III. WHAT DO YOU DISCIPLINE YOUR
CHILD FOR?
2. DISRESPECT.
One of the FOUNDATIONS of
harmonious human relationships is the
mutual RESPECT of people for one
another.
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
III. WHAT DO YOU DISCIPLINE YOUR
CHILD FOR?
3. DISHONESTY.
Character and integrity is built on
TRUTHFULNESS.
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
III. WHAT DO YOU DISCIPLINE CHILD FOR?
1. DISOBEDIENCE
2. DISRESPECT
3. DISHONESTY
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
IV. HOW TO DISCIPLINE
1. Consistent, clear RULES.
• Should be few.
• Must explain rules – should be clear.
• Must carry consequences.
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
IV. HOW TO DISCIPLINE
2. Consistent HUSBAND and WIFE rules.
• ______
AGREE on the rules – “united we
stand, divided we fall.”
• _______
REVIEW rules carefully.
• Say “no” to __________
IMPORTANT matters only.
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
IV. HOW TO DISCIPLINE
3. Consistent APPLICATION of rules.
• One _________
COMMAND obedience. No
shouting.
IMMEDIATE
• Consequence should be __________
as possible.
• FOLLOW
_______ through with what you say.
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
IV. HOW TO DISCIPLINE
3. Consistent APPLICATION of rules.
EMBARRASS the child.
• Don’t ___________
• Rules should not be __________
ARBITRARY or
based on your ______.
MOOD
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
IV. HOW TO DISCIPLINE
4. Consistent in our LOVE .
• Our love for our children must be
UNCONDITIONAL
______________.
• Let them know that you may not like
BEHAVIOR but you will always
their _________,
_____
LOVE them.
• Never say, “I will love you __…”
IF
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
V. HOW TO SPANK YOUR CHILD
• EXPLAIN
_______ to your children why they
are being spanked.
• Don’t spank in ______
ANGER – It is
_______.
SELFISH
• Don’t use your _____
HAND – Use a belt or
a switch.
• Don’t ______
INJURE your child – But make it
____.
HURT
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
V. HOW TO SPANK YOUR CHILD
• Don’t spank in ______
PUBLIC – Do it in
_______.
PRIVATE
• Don’t spank _______________
UNCONTROLLABLY – Do
it in love.
• HUG
___ them after spanking them – Tell
them that you LOVE
____ them.
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
VI. TRAINING TEENAGERS
Training and disciplining teenagers
requires a different approach. We are
preparing them to live independently of
us as parents and live dependently on
God in an ungodly world. We don’t
want them just to outwardly comply
with the values we teach them but to
embrace and internalize these values.
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
VI. TRAINING TEENAGERS
1. Be AUTHORITATIVE , not authoritarian.
• Don’t be _____________.
CONTROLLING
• Be REASONABLE. Listen to their
_____.
IDEAS
• Involve them in making ______.
RULES
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
VI. TRAINING TEENAGERS
2. Use NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES for
disobedience and irresponsibility.
Galatians 6:7 – 7Do not be deceived, God is
not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he
will also reap.
NATURAL
• Allow them to suffer the ________
consequences of disobedience.
• Spank them for rebellion.
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
VI. TRAINING TEENAGERS
3. Use rewards for obedience and
responsible behavior.
• Privileges.
• Verbal PRAISE
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
VI. TRAINING TEENAGERS
4. Treat them the WAY you want them to
treat you.
Matthew 7:12 – 12Therefore, however you
want people to treat you, so treat them, for
this is the Law and the Prophets.
RESPECT Beware of ______
• With ________.
ANGER or
shouting.
LOVE and
• With unconditional _____
____________.
ACCEPTANCE
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
VI. TRAINING TEENAGERS
4. Major on the MAJOR – not everything
has to be an ISSUE.
5. Don’t attack the PERSON , deal with the
PROBLEM.
6. Remember “This too shall PASS AWAY.”
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
VII. TRAINING YOUNG ONES
1. Begin EARLY .
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
VII. TRAINING YOUNG ONES
2. Two commands to teach your young
children.
• OBEY
• WAIT
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
VII. TRAINING YOUNG ONES
3. Learn the technique of DISTRACTION .
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
VII. TRAINING YOUNG ONES
4. Tips for training small children.
a. Give them a STIMULATING
environment.
b. Let them EXERCISE.
c. Let them EXPLORE.
BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE
VII. TRAINING YOUNG ONES
4. Tips for training small children.
d. Train them to do things for
THEMSELVES.
e. Teach them to SHARE.
f. LAUGH with them.
12 commandments for parents (p. 25)
CONCLUSION
Session III
HOW TO DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILDREN
EFFECTIVELY
1. Purpose of Discipline
2. The Basis of Discipline
3. What to Discipline Our Child For
4. How to Spank Our Child
5. Training Teenagers
6. Training Young Ones
For those WHOM THE LORD
loves He disciplines, And He
scourges every son whom
He receives. Hebrews 12:6
1. If you are God’s child, you will experience His
discipline. If not, maybe your not His child.
2. If you love your child/ren, you will discipline
him/her/them too.
3. If your parent disciplines you, it means
he/she cares for you.