Managing Angry and
Aggressive Behaviors
F. Russell Crites, M.S., L.P.C., L.M.F.T., L.S.S.P.
Crites Counseling & Consultation
www.critescounseling.com
972-506-7111
Some Basic Anger Styles
Explosive Anger Styles
• The Tank—Often power/control motivated (Oppositional
Defiant/Conduct Disorder)
• The Bully—Often power/control motivated (Oppositional
Defiant/Conduct Disorder)
• The Time Bomb—Often emotionally sensitive (has
long/short term emotional issues)
Passive Anger Styles
• The
Sniper—Often
power/control
(Oppositional Defiant/Conduct Disorder)
motivated
• The Mask—Often escape/avoidant motivated
• The Seeker—Often attention seeking motivated
• The Class Clown—Often escape/avoidant motivated
The Behavior Escalation
Continuum for Anger
Stage One:
Chronic Emotional Distress
Stage Two:
Triggering Event or Crisis
Stage Three: Behavioral Response Continuum
Stage Four:
De-escalation
Stage Five:
Debriefing
Chronic Emotional Distress
Stage One
Agitation
Staff Response: Must be Pro-active, set boundaries and
be supportive
• Skills and Tools Needed:
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Able to identify and address underlying causes.
Teach Self-Control Skills.
Identify self-destructive behaviors.
Able to identify & attack irrational beliefs such as magnification,
emotional reasoning, etc.
– Address self-esteem & teach Assertiveness.
– Stage One Interventions: Proactive Classroom Techniques for
Anger Management
Chronic Emotional Distress
Stage One Interventions for Agitation
Pro-active Techniques for Anger Management
• Determine which students in your classroom have anger issues that may
need to be addressed.
• Reinforce students in the classroom who demonstrate self-control.
• Make sure that other teachers are aware of this students’ tendency
towards anger.
• Maintain consistency in daily routine. If you are going to change your
schedule let the class know a day in advance.
• Build optimistic attitudes in class.
• Teach a short curriculum series on Conflict Management.
• Teach a short curriculum series on Anger Management or teach some
basic Anger Management skills (see ’Diffusing Anger’ & ‘Tools for Diffusing
Personal Anger’).
Chronic Emotional Distress
Stage One Interventions
Diffusing Anger--Guidelines for Students
When Anger is Not directed toward you:
• If a classmate gets angry you should ignore him as much
as is possible. Do not try to ‘fix’ the problem. Let your
teacher take care of the problem.
• If you are physically close to a student who is angry and
you think he may strike out at you, get up and walk to the
teacher and express your concern.
Chronic Emotional Distress
Stage One Interventions
Diffusing Anger--Guidelines for Students
Only do the following if you know the person and you are
assured that you are not in danger!
• Sit down with him, let him vent and give him time to calm
down.
• Give feedback to the person. Restate what he has said in
summary and/or tell him what you believe he is feeling, e.g.,
anger, frustration, hurt, etc.
• Help him problem solve the situation. What could be
done to improve the situation?
Chronic Emotional Distress
Stage One Interventions
Diffusing Anger--Guidelines for Students
If Anger is Directed at You:
• Learn how to use the ‘Protective Shield’.
• Learn how to use assertive responses when someone is angry or
critical (Fogging).
• Find allies that you can keep close to you.
• If you’re cornered listen to what the person has to say. Don’t
argue (Fogging)!
• Don’t become counter aggressive. Stay calm when the person
directs his anger towards you.
• If someone is being verbally abusive tell him you will leave if he
continues. If he continues, walk away.
Chronic Emotional Distress
Stage One Interventions: The Protective Shield
Purpose: The purpose of the Protective Shield is to have a way to protect
yourself when a student is saying things that are hurtful or negative in any
way. It also gives the student a chance to vent without someone becoming
counter aggressive.
Steps
1. When some one is being angry or hurtful towards you, you must put up
your shield.
2. Visualize a large invisible shield that covers you from head to foot.
3. This shield keeps any words from harming you. Not only that, but if you
focus enough it will actually help you tune out negative things that the
other person is saying.
4. Focus on the shield, see what it looks like. Actually see the words
splattering against the shield and dropping to the ground where they can do
you no harm or going to each side of you.
5. Hold up your shield as long as it is needed and put it away when it is no
longer necessary.
Chronic Emotional Distress
Stage One Interventions
Diffusing Anger--Guidelines for Students
Fogging: Fogging is a skill that helps you learn how to accept
criticism or negativity from others by calmly acknowledging that
there may be some truth to what your critic is saying. This allows
you to maintain your own belief system about self, others or the
situation, yet it diffuses the one who is angry.
John "You are not fair. You always pick on me. "
Teacher/Counselor "I see you feel strongly about that. I will
promise to think about how I could be more fair in the future."
Chronic Emotional Distress
Stage One Interventions
Tools for Diffusing Personal Anger
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Breathing Technique
Visualization and Anger Management
Music
Time Out
Drawing
Writing or Journaling
Diversion
Talking
Triggering Event or Crisis
Stage Two
Staff Response: Must be Pro-active, set boundaries and
be supportive
• Skills and Tools Needed:
• Identify and Remove/reduce triggers.
• Stage Two Interventions: Proactive Interventions for Angry
students
Triggering Event or Crisis
Stage Two Interventions
Proactive Interventions for Angry Students
General
• Help the student focus on accomplishments instead of failures.
This can help keep the student’s anger in check.
• Teach the student to use positive self-talk. This can help the
student talk himself down from a situation where he normally would
act out his feelings.
• Let the student know about the consequences that may occur
when he gets angry and/or loses control.
Triggering Event or Crisis
Stage Two Interventions
Proactive Interventions for Angry Students
Environmental Changes
• Surround the student with calm, successful students.
• Use proximity control. Stay close to this student when he is in
your classroom.
• Provide a quiet place where the student can work independently,
away from any peer interaction that may ‘trigger’ him.
• Move the student away from other students who may try to
‘trigger’ his anger.
• Put the angry student in the middle of a group of students who
are hard workers.
Triggering Event or Crisis
Stage Two Interventions
Proactive Interventions for Angry Students
Classroom Aids
• Stuffed animals to help a student calm down.
• Post the class schedule (elementary).
• Write down changes in routine in advance (at least one
day if possible) and place on overhead and/or board.
Relationship Building
• Student gets to eat lunch with special teacher.
• Spend 2-5 minutes with student 3-5 times a week.
• Greet the student by name in hallway in front of others.
Behavioral Response
Stage Three: Level One
Staff Response: Be supportive
• Skills and Tools Needed:
• Keep self, others and student calm using verbal and non-verbal
techniques.
• Affirming & encouraging.
• Stage Three: Level One Interventions
Behavioral Response
Stage Three: Level One
Gentle, supportive and/or re-directive in nature.
• Have a conference with student concerning agitated
behavior, what’s going on, etc. Learn to listen with your
whole body to show your interest and sincerity (SOFTEN).
• Have the student write down what is happening in his
‘Journal’. (Have a spiral bound notebook for each child that
can be used for dealing with feelings.)
• Redirection Technique:
When you see a student
beginning to get out of control simply redirect his activity.
You may request that he go work on the computer, listen to
music at his desk or in a corner of the room or elsewhere, go
read a book of his choice, help you with something, etc. This
is effective if you have identified an activity that the
student enjoys. Try to identify one activity that every child
in your room would be excited or happy to do.
Redirective Techniques
• Antiseptic Bounce:
Change the student’s environment by moving him
to a different location or distract him mentally
from the situation or stimulus that is causing him
distress.
• Positive Distracter:
Provide the student with a reinforcement that
has been identified as desirable.
Behavioral Response
Stage Three: Level One
Gestures
Meaning
S = Smile
Friendly, open attitude.
O = Open Posture
Communicates a willingness to listen.
F = Forward Lean
Suggests interest.
T = Touch
Communicates acceptance.
E = Eye Contact
Suggests that you are listening-focusing.
N = Nod
Expresses approval or disapproval.
Behavioral Response
Stage Three: Level Two
Staff Response: Set and Maintain Limits & Consequences
Diffuse Anger
• Skills and Tools Needed:
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Be firm, specific, provide consequences.
Redirection Techniques
Have predetermined consequences
Broken Record
Use Diffusing Techniques
Methods that Enhance Compliance
Stage Three: Level Two Interventions
Behavioral Response
Stage Three: Level One
Broken Record
Teacher:
“John, I want you to sit down and not get out of
your seat again.”
Student:
“I just need to sharpen my pencil.”
Teacher: “John, the next time you get out of your seat without
permission you will go to time out* for 5 minutes. It’s your
choice.”
*Time out is just one example of many consequences you may
choose in your specific situation.
Behavioral Response
Stage Three: Level Two
Limits, Consequences and Diffusing Anger
Interventions at this level are meant to 1) get the student’s
attention by verbally communicating limits and consequences and,
2) help the student diffuse his anger before it goes to the next
level. Offer Choices!
• Use verbal interventions first. For instance, use Broken Record
requesting student to return to his seat, sit down, etc. (See Broken
Record).
• Verbal Warning
• Write student’s name on the board, in a consequence book, etc.
Couple this with a specific predetermined consequence.
• Use an Anger Log.
• Use a Parent Report form to send home each day if you have an
angry student. If the student has an outburst during the day
there should be consequences at home.
Behavioral Response
Stage Three: Level Two
Verbal Aggression
Promoting Personal Safety
When you get involved with a students crisis you must know,
1) how to protect yourself, as well as,
2) how to help the student through the crisis. It is important to
recognize that is it much easier to handle a student in crisis
before he gets out of control. One of the most important rules
that should be kept in mind is that you should:
Do everything you can to de-escalate
any potential crisis before
it gets out of hand.
Behavioral Response
Stage Three: Level Two
Verbal Aggression
Promoting Personal Safety
Non-Verbal: When someone is losing rationality he tends to focus
on nonverbal cues more than on rational communication. There are
three specific areas that should be addressed in order to reduce
the possibility of a confrontation.
• Personal Space
• Body Posture and Motion
• Listening Skills
Personal Space: The distance between you and the person who is
upset is one of the most critical elements in defusing a potentially
explosive situation.
• At a certain point physical closeness is perceived as a threat.
• The critical distance for most people is about 2 ½ to 3 feet.
Behavioral Response
Stage Three: Level Two
Verbal Aggression
Signs that you are getting too close:
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Statements e.g., “Stay away from me!”
Clenched fists—especially with a cocked elbow!!!!
Distancing from you physically.
Tightening of the facial muscles.
Wild eyes.
Back off
if you see these signs
Behavioral Response
Stage Three: Level Two
Verbal Aggression
Body Posture and Motion
Position and motion of the body can have a significant impact on
the non-verbal message. Some examples are:
• Face to face is generally perceived as a “challenge position”.
• Making sudden movements can be construed as aggressive or
threatening.
Behavioral Response
Stage Three: Level Two
Verbal Aggression
Listening Skills
Make sure that the student knows that you want to listen to
his story. He must be convinced that you care and that you
want to understand what has happened and why.
• Concentrate, Accept, Repeat
• Non-verbal listing skills: ‘Soften’
Dealing with Verbally
Aggressive Students
Chernow and Chernow (1989) recommend the
following steps in dealing with a verbally aggressive
student before he or she has calmed down to a
degree that discussion is possible:
Step #1: Tell the student that you will not argue
with him or her, provide the student with a choice
and leave the student alone, allowing time to decide.
Dealing with Verbally
Aggressive Students
Step #2: Tell the student, “I will not talk to you if
you are going to call me names. When you feel ready
to address me with my name, I will be willing to help
you/discuss this with you.” Walk away! This leaves
you and the student with some sense of calm and
control.
Step #3: Instruct a hostile student to wait for you
away from other students, i.e., in the hall or office.
This will allow the student time to calm down so
that you can engage him or her in discussion.
Behavior
• The behaviors you pay attention to, and give
energy to will continue to be exhibited.
• Always have consequences available…preferably
tell students in advance what consequence occurs
for specific behaviors.
• Give Consequence…….Don’t discuss!!!!
Behavioral Response
Stage Three: Level Three
Physical Aggression
Staff Response: Safety of Self and Students!
• Skills and Tools Needed:
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Keep safety of all concerned in mind
Avoid Counter Aggression
Isolate the Acting out Student
Physical Intervention, if necessary
Behavioral Response
Stage Three: Level Three
Physical Aggression
Protection for Self
There are three basic tools that you can use to assist
you as you seek to protect yourself when a student is in
a crisis situation. They are:
1.
2.
3.
Maintain Proper Distance
Use a Protective Stance
Use Physical Interventions
Behavioral Response
Stage Three: Level Three
Physical Aggression
Staff Response: Safety for Self!
Action Taken Against You
Being Hit with a body part or object.
Your Response
Put distance between yourself and other person.
Ask the person to stop/state consequence.
Deflect the attack.
Call for BIT (Behavioral Intervention Team).
Being Grabbed or held.
Ask the person to stop/state consequence.
Go against weak points to free yourself.
Use basic, non-harmful self-protection techniques to free self.
Call for BIT (Behavioral Intervention Team).
Behavioral Response
Stage Three: Level Three
Physical Aggression
The Student in Crisis
Rule: If the student is causing himself physical harm you should intervene.
The greater the harm the greater the need for intervention.
The Assaulted Student
Rule: If the student is causing another person physical harm you should
intervene. The greater the harm the greater the need for intervention.
Check your district policy!
De-escalation
Stage Four
Staff Response: Allow for Venting
• Skills and Tools Needed:
• Must know how to de-escalate.
• Stage Four Interventions: De-Escalation.
Helping the Angry Student
De-escalate
1. Let the student walk it off--preferably with a staff member.
2. Do not try to resolve when the person is de-escalating--that will
be done during debriefing.
3. The student may want to be alone for a while, let him go to a time
out or safe area on his own until he is ready to debrief.
4. Remember, this is not about you. Check your ego at the door. If
it gets to you, or if you begin to feel counter-aggressive let
someone take over for you.
5. Do not try to set limits or give consequences at this stage.
Consequences can be discussed later.
6. Let the student vent until he has exhausted himself or shows that
he has finished.
7. Be calm and make sure that you are not being counter aggressive-Use the Protective Shield.
8. Try to determine the underlying motivation and/or reasons for his
behavior. This will help determine the course of action you must
take.
Debriefing
Stage Five
Staff Response: Allow for Venting
• Skills and Tools Needed:
• Student Debriefing (form)
• Behavioral Incident Report (form)
• Stage Five Interventions:
Primary Goals of
Debriefing
To help the student understand:
• Where his anger comes from,
• What he can do to control it, and
• How he can handle anger in a more productive way
in the future.
Primary Goals of
Debriefing
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Get his attention--show the student that you want to listen (not judge) to
what has happened. Use proper body language.
Once he has vented and calmed down it is important to have the student
answer some questions so that you can clarify what happened and what
must be done to help him more effectively deal with similar problems in the
future.
Use the Anger Log to assist in debriefing.
Identify 1) internal controls, and 2) behavioral controls that can be used to
minimize or remove triggers.
Discuss how similar situations could be handled in the future. Have the
student develop an alternative to the unhealthy behavior that was
exhibited.
Ongoing one-on-one education as needed. Determine the tools that this
student needs to be successful and teach them.
When it’s over process the event with everyone who was involved.
Document, document, document! (Behavioral Incident Report)
Debriefing Questions
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WHEN:
When did this problem occur?
WHERE:
Where did this problem occur?
WHO:
Who was Involved?
Who started/initiated the problem?
WHAT:
What do you think caused this event to occur?
What did you do during this event?
What did the other person(s) do during this event?
HOW:
How did you feel when this event occurred?
___Mad
___fearful ___upset or ashamed
___unsure of what to do
___not clear of what was happening ___Other:
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What else can you tell me about the event and your involvement?
That’s all
folks!