The Five Stages of Grief
Kübler-Ross Model
By: Joshua Packer
Elisabeth
Kübler-Ross
In 1969 Kubler-Ross published her book, “On
Death and Dying.” From this book came our 5
stages of grief.
Who was she?
Dr. Kübler-Ross was a Swiss
psychiatrist. She pioneered the
field of near death studies and
wrote “On Death and Dying”. In
her book she wrote several
personal conversations between
patient and doctor. She began
studying those that were going to
die after realizing that the
universities had virtually no
knowledge on the topic.
Denial
• In the face of shocking
information denial is a coping
mechanism that allows one to
collect themselves.
• Denial is often accompanied with
self-isolation.
• It can last from a few seconds to
several months or more.
Anger
• Anger comes when one begins to
realize that the situation is not
going away.
• “Anger is displaced in all
directions.”
• The angry individual is very
difficult to comfort and care for.
• It is important to not take the
things that they say personally.
“You are making me angry.
You won’t like me when I
am angry.”
“…go to Him [God] when your need is desperate, when all
other help is vain, and what do you find? A door slammed in
your face, and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the
inside. After that, silence. You may as well turn away.”
-C. S. Lewis
Bargaining
• Frequently this bargaining
happens between the individual
and God.
• It may go something like this:
“Please let me live! I will be a
better person. I will live a healthy
life. Just don’t let me die!”
• Because of this desperate state of
mind the “Beggar” frequently
finds themselves feeling alone.
I’ll do anything…
Depression
• Frequently after passing through
denial, anger, and bargaining the
reality begins to set in.
• “There is nothing I can do.”
• This can bring feelings of
hopelessness as the individual
realizes that they cannot control
their circumstance.
It’s hopeless…
Two parts to Depression
Reactive Depression
• This comes from an
accumulation of the past
and current losses.
• Built brick by brick on our
shoulders.
Preparatory Depression
• This is coming to terms with
the loss that we are about
to face.
• Often this leads the
individual to quiet
contemplation.
Acceptance
• “Acceptance should not be
mistaken for a happy stage. It is
almost void of feelings…”
• This does not mean that there
can be no happiness.
• Rather this is inner peace that
may allow for the individual and
the family to find joy elsewhere.
Applications
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Death of a loved one
Divorce
Disability
Loss of a job
Bad grade on a Presentation