Tim Conroy-Stocker
Senior Educational Psychologist
What do we mean by self and self
esteem?
Who am I?
 Think about responses to the question ‘Who am I?’
Who am I?
 Physical Self
 Social Self
 Spiritual self
 Now what about the question ‘ Who do I want to be?’
Self Concept
Self-concept
Self-image
Self-esteem
Ideal-self
The way we see
ourselves
The value we
put on
ourselves
The way we
would like to be
From Lawrence (1996) ‘Enhancing Self Esteem in the Classroom’
Multiple self esteems
 Academic
 Social
 Physical
 Technological?
 Artistic?
Factors affecting teen self esteem?
 The views of others
 Cooley ‘The looking Glass Self’
 Multiple self esteems?
 Social identity
 Psychosocial stages
 The desire to be aware of trends!
 The pressure to succeed
 Resilience
 Mastery
 Relationships
 Emotional Reactivity
‘Our picture of ourselves is not derived by sitting
in isolation but is generated by our
engagement with others.’
Bannister and Fransella (1980) ‘The Psychology of Personal Constructs’
Erikson’s stages
Age
Virtues
Psycho Social
Crisis
Significant
Relationship
Existential
Question
infant -18
months
Hopes
Trust vs.
Mistrust
Mother
Can I Trust The Feeding,
World?
Abandonment
18 month-3
years
Will
Autonomy vs.
Shame &
Doubt
Parents
Is It Ok To Be
Me?
Toilet Training,
Clothing
Themselves
Purpose
Initiative vs.
Guilt
Family
Is It Ok For Me
To Do, Move
and Act?
Exploring,
Using Tools or
Making Art
Neighbors,
School
Can I Make It
In The World
Of People And
Things?
School, Sports
Who Am I?
What Can I
Be?
Social
Relationships
3-5 years
5-13 years
13-21years
Competence
Industry vs.
Inferiority
Fidelity
Identity vs.
Peers, Role
Role Confusion Model
Examples
Identity vs. Role Confusion
(Adolescence, 13 to 21 years)
 The adolescent is newly concerned with how they appear to
others.
 As they make the transition from childhood to adulthood,
adolescents ponder the roles they will play in the adult world.
 Initially, they are apt to experience some role confusion- mixed
ideas and feelings about the specific ways in which they will fit
into society- and may experiment with a variety of behaviors and
activities (e.g. tinkering with cars, baby-sitting for neighbors,
affiliating with certain political or religious groups).
 Eventually, Erikson proposed, most adolescents achieve a sense
of identity regarding who they are and where their lives are
headed.
Identity vs. Role Confusion
(Adolescence, 13 to 21 years)
 Adolescents "are confronted by the need to re-establish
[boundaries] for themselves and to do this in the face of an often
potentially hostile world. "This is often challenging since
commitments are being asked for before particular identity roles
have formed. At this point, one is in a state of 'identity confusion‘
 No matter how one has been raised, one’s personal ideologies are
now chosen for oneself. Oftentimes, this leads to conflict with
adults over religious and political orientations.
 Another area where teenagers are deciding for themselves is their
career choice, and oftentimes parents want to have a decisive say
in that role. If this is too insistent, the teenager will acquiesce to
external wishes, effectively forcing him or her to ‘foreclose’ on
experimentation and, therefore, true self-discovery.
Identity vs. Role Confusion
(Adolescence, 13 to 21 years)
 Erikson does note that the time of Identity crisis for
persons of genius is frequently prolonged. He further
notes that in our industrial society, identity formation
tends to be long, because it takes us so long to gain the
skills needed for adulthood’s tasks in our technological
world.
 So… we do not have an exact time span in which to find
ourselves. It doesn't happen automatically at eighteen
or at twenty-one. A very approximate rule of thumb for
our society would put the end somewhere in one's
twenties
It was different in my day
 Everything that's already in the world when you're
born is just normal. Anything created between birth
and the age of 30 is incredibly exciting and creative
and with any luck you can make a career out of it.
 But whatever is invented after you've turned 30 is
against the natural order of things and is the
beginning of the end of civilisation as we know it until it's been around for about 10 years, when it
gradually turns out to be all right really.
Douglas Adams (1999)
Do you suffer from Trendfear?
Do you ever get a nagging fear that trends are passing
you by?
 What is Pinterest? And is it important what it is?
 And will Summly have a big year in 2012? And does
that matter?
 If you're a school Principal and you don't understand
the implications of the rise of location-based websites
and apps like Foursquare, you might one day regret it.
 How much dual screening do you get involved in?
Do your children suffer from
Trendfear?
 Combine this with the focus on the role of others in
shaping your identity.
 From peers the need to be aware of the:
 Latest music
 Latest games on iphone/android/ PS3/ xbox360/Wii
 Latest books/movies
 What hairstyle/weight/ exercise regime
 Which social groups are popular in school and what do
they think/believe in.
 Subjects to choose at GCSE/post 16
The pressure to succeed
 I’m Stressed
 Where does the pressure come from?
 Aspiration
 Internalised parent
 Fear of failure
 Negative or positive goal state
Resilience: Mastery and control
 How optimistic is the young person?
 How self efficacious do they feel?
 How adaptable are they
Resilience: Relationships
 What degree of trust do they have in others?
 How supported do they feel by those around them?
 What degree of comfort can they take from the
support of others?
 How tolerant are they of those around them?
Resilience: Emotional Reactivity
 How sensitive are they to being upset/ receiving
criticism?
 How quickly do they recover from being upset?
 How clear is their thinking when they are upset?
 Can they laugh at themselves?
 Can they roll with the punches?
Resilience
 The more mastery they feel and feeling very related to
others gives students lots of resources and makes them
more resilient.
 If they are highly emotionally reactive and have low
levels of resources then they will be more vulnerable
and less resilient
Motivating and helping teenagers
Motivating and helping teenagers:
Fostering resilience
 Tell them to work harder!
 Working backwards in steps from a goal state
 Exception finding with negative or low mood states
 Scaling questions to identify preferred futures and
next steps.
 Healthy food
 Good amount of sleep
 Good Mental health ‘5 a day’
Anxiety and depression
 Help students to recognise the physical signs of
anxiety
 Help them to reframe negative thoughts
 Don’t accept catastrophic self statements!
 Break down overwhelming tasks for them
 Normalise anxiety and stress
The good news!
 Most teenagers with support from their parents, peers
and teachers navigate adolescence effectively!
 There are lots of things we can do to foster resilience in
children and young people
 Teenage anxiety and stress is not a new thing!
 New technology provides new areas of support as well
as stress!